
Let go of your attachment to things and do the “one in/one out” rule. Change the way you look at your stuff. Keep your mind on track. ASlobComesClean.com/HQ My books My YouTube Channel! Want to be a patron of the show? Find out how at Patreon.
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Dani K. White
Hey, y'.
Patreon Member / Client
All.
Dani K. White
I wanted to let you know that I am speaking at this year's Get Organized hq, an online event. My session is called Busting Through Decluttering Roadblocks, and it will go live on Monday, September 8th at 1pm Eastern Time. And it's free to watch for the first 24 hours. You can get your free ticket at a slob comes clean.comhq. that's aslobcomesclean.comhq welcome to a Slob Comes Clean, the podcast. I am Dani K. White. I share my personal desobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don't love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 474. I think. I think I called last time's 474, and it was actually 473. That's part of what happens when you come back from your summer break. So I am back from summer break. I'm sharing with you a strategy session that I did with one of my Patreon members, and I enjoyed this conversation and I think you're going to relate and enjoy the conversation, too. So if you would like to know more about being a member of our Kindred Spirits Patreon community, go to patreon.com A slob comes Clean. That's P A T r e o n.com/ a slob comes Clean. All right, here is our conversation.
Dana
Thank you so much for being willing to come on and share with the whole world your decluttering process and what you've been doing. Tell me a little bit about you and your unique life situation.
Patreon Member / Client
Okay, I'm old.
Dana
No, you're not.
Patreon Member / Client
Not yet. Well, I'll be 75 a day after Christmas. And happy birthday. And I'm getting a baby from my son and his wife next week.
Dana
Oh, that's so exciting.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I live alone. They live about 10 minutes away. But, you know, they have busy lives. I don't see them that much. And my kids, they moved away, sadly, to Arizona. So here I am. I want to travel, and I'm a retired real estate broker, and I did that for 30 years. And I don't know what's unique, but, you know, I have a house, luckily. Yeah.
Dana
Have you lived in the same house for a while?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, for quite a while. Like from 91 or something?
Dana
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, 91 is farther away than it seems. It seems like it's 10 years ago. And instead it's like 30 years ago.
Patreon Member / Client
Right, I know, I know.
Dana
Okay, well, talk. Tell me about some things that are working well for you.
Patreon Member / Client
Well, like a lot of people say dishes, you know, Although when I got home from my trip, I was, I think I caught a cold or something. And that was just a couple days ago, but in a way, and I have a couple dishes. I left the house not that great because I was madly still packing till that 11th hour and I came home to not a pristine house. So. Yeah. But basically the dishes, like every time I use one or two, I just wash them. I sometimes they save them up in the dishwasher, but I don't use it that often. I just kind of just wash them. And that really does the thing like you said it does for your brain. It's just like, wow, did that. So that, that does work for me.
Dana
Yeah, I think it's that you did it, but also that's something I don't have to do. Like, it's not weighing on me as something that has to be done. And I think we don't. I don't fully understand or acknowledge that those things are weighing on me, but when they're not there, I do feel the relief of that.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. The space, you know, just looking in that direction, it's like, oh, you know. But when it's away, it's like, ah, yeah, nice. And also that five minute pickup thing is like really great because it's like, oh, yeah, I could move that stuff around and take it to where it goes real quick. And just in general, the big old counter is huge.
Dana
Yeah, it makes a. It makes such an impact. I love it.
Dani K. White
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Dana
So what are some of the things you want to talk about today? Some of your things, your challenges you're facing?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I have too much stuff.
Dana
You are in the right place.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I just, I just feel like a very attached person to the stuff. It's so weird. I. It's like I put my hand on it say oh, I don't need that. I'm going to put my hand on it. And then all of a sudden it's like oh no, I keep it.
Dana
Like it felt like it was going to be simple and then all of a sudden it didn't feel simple anymore.
Patreon Member / Client
When you touched won't. It won't take it and put it somewhere. And even so, even when I get stuff in a bag or a box, it sits in my house or in my car for kind of a long time.
Dana
Yeah.
Patreon Member / Client
Instead of getting it right to the place. But yeah, that I. The attachment infix really like unbelievable and unbearable. It's torture.
Dana
Yeah.
Patreon Member / Client
I want a Zen house. Haha. I don't know if I'll get there. You know, just to know where stuff is and not knock stuff over and break. I break a lot of stuff reaching for stuff and I was like oh, there you go, that's gone. I don't have to deal with that anymore. Although I just broke my grandmother's a really neat deco bowl that I loved and something fell on it and it broke.
Dana
Oh. So how, how much have you really like tried to go through the actual five step process?
Patreon Member / Client
I, I did your in the whole house take back. I did the last time. I think the whole thing was like a shed. Maybe I worked in the shed. I got rid of boatload of stuff. That was easy. That's easy because it's out there and I don't have a garage, I don't have an attic and I don't have a basement. So my house is probably about, it's probably about a thousand feet all together and the upstairs is just a half up. It's a loft. And then the downstairs is two bedrooms and a bath and it's you know, maybe it's 800 or you know, small, small house but.
Dana
Okay. So you, when you did the shed work, did you go through the process of starting with the trash and Saying I'm only looking for trash right now. And then go through the easy stuff. And I'm only looking for easy stuff. Did you do that with that?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. But nothing from there had to go anywhere else except get rid of. Yeah. And. And then I had multiples of things. So that was easy because then I kept one or two and got rid of the multiple. And that was really good. And it was summertime, I think, when it happened, and it was really easy to take stuff to the curb and they just took it a neighborhood that people walk by and they take stuff. So pretty good.
Dana
Okay, what about. Have you tried that in your. Like, what would you consider to be your most visible space in this home?
Patreon Member / Client
My front door.
Dana
Okay.
Patreon Member / Client
And it's a mess. Like I said, just okay.
Dana
That's what I'm here for.
Patreon Member / Client
That's the real thing. This is the front door. You walk in. There's my stair step ladder from Indonesia, where you used to live. It's full of stuff. You know, every drawer is packed, like, okay. I mean, this drawer has hats. I mean, it's insane how much I have, you know, of everything. And I'm one person. I have one head, like my mom said, when I wanted. Here's the. Where we're working on that table, which is my eating table. Kitchen.
Dana
Okay. Here's what I would do. So you show. But your home is beautiful. It has lots of character. I can tell that you have an eye for unique and interesting things. Right. Like, I love your stair step thing. So nobody else can see what we're talking about. But inside of your doorway is a cabinet that actually has stair steps on it. So it has all this very unique and interesting way. I'm sorry, there's no degrees of unique. So anyway, this unique and interesting way to display very interesting items that you have on there. So it's beautiful. And then so that, to me, when you first walk in, it looks like, yes, you've put a lot of thought into that and all. And then you have your. Your table and your counters that have more, you know, stuff on them. I would start with that. That's your most visible area. I know that. That's a place that gets re cluttered. And so it feels like, oh, no, what's the point? It's just going to get recluttered again, Right?
Patreon Member / Client
No, I didn't have time. The. I usually keep the counters clear. That. That's easy. You know, I do. And if it's really bad and have company coming, I just shove it all in a bag, you know, and just back down. But that stair step, it's my way to get up to that little loft.
Dana
Oh, that's so cool.
Patreon Member / Client
Rug stored and stuff like that. So those steps have to be all cleared off when I climb up there, which isn't that often, but then I have Aunt Rose's lamp, and I thought, oh, I gotta get rid of that thing. It. There's nowhere in my house I have no surfaces. I have no surfaces for stuff, and I don't really want on that thing, really. I have bolt jars of yarn in there because the yarn room is kind of full. And so. Yeah, I'm really not displaying it for good looks. I'm just.
Dana
So you would prefer that it be functional and not have stuff displayed on it?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, yeah. Just empty. Yeah.
Dana
Okay. If that's the goal that you're going for, then that is the purpose of that unit. Right. Which means if that unit is meant to actually serve as stairs for safety reasons, it needs to have nothing on there, even though it's cool, Even though it's such a convenient place to display something, it defeats the purpose if there's anything there, which means that's the place to start. So on the first step, there was like, a lamp or something, right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah.
Dana
Okay. Right. And so. So now we know it can't be here. It cannot exist here because that keeps it from serving the purpose as a step. Because if there's a lamp on there, you can't actually safely walk on it. Right. And I know everybody's like, what are you talking about? No, she has, like, a cool. The coolest thing that. I've never seen anything like it before, anyway. Okay. But it is an actual step that you need to step on. So that means this step cannot be a place for this lamp. So taking that step out of the equation, if I needed this lamp, where would I look for it first? Okay. And I know it's a little weird with a lamp, right, Because a lamp kind of gets set out. But I don't want you to think very hard. I'm watching your brain, and you're thinking really hard right now. Okay. About a good place to put the lamp. Instead, I want you to go with an instinct of saying, if I needed this lamp, where would I look for it first? And just see what place comes into your mind.
Patreon Member / Client
I visualize it on an airplane, going back with my son the next time he visits me.
Dana
Okay, so. So what you're saying is you don't want it. So what?
Patreon Member / Client
You do? And then I go to give it away. It's like, still here. He did say he wanted it. I've tried to offer it to other people and they say, oh, it's so cool. You know, it's an old Italian thing that my great aunt brought back from Italy a gazillion years ago and they all, they used to all light up and now only the top one does because I had it rewired and they said the way they wired it in Italy was like too funky. So they fixed it to where it doesn't work. It just, the little top one works. And it's like, no, that's stupid.
Dana
You, you just said your son wants it, right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, but it's heavy. I don't want to mail it. I hope.
Dana
When is he. Do you have any idea when he'll be there next?
Patreon Member / Client
He said he's going to come up around after Christmas for a short while and I'm going to try to talk him into figuring out a way to take it back. He likes to travel and be cool looking and not carry any luggage or anything. So it's going to have to because.
Dana
Well, but see, that's the issue of the take it there now. Right? Like it forces us into reality because it can float forever in your home thinking, but he said he wants it, but he doesn't like to carry luggage. But I don't want to mail it. But all of this. And so it's, it's that, okay, here's the deal. When he comes or right now, what you can do is put it in a box and put it in the place where he will sleep when he comes to stay at your house and put his name on it and then it's there. And so that's a take it there now for him and he's coming in a few weeks, hopefully. And you say, okay, I need you to take this with you because I can't have it in my house. There's no place for it to be. And you said that you want it and I have to go ahead and do this thing. And if he says, I don't want to take it on the plane, then you say, okay, let's go to the place to mail it, you know, and that requires money, right? Like, because a breakable item that's oddly shaped is expensive to mail, right? And I get that, but that is the take it there now. It's not just the matter of getting it done, it's the matter of facing reality. Like when I go and I say, I'm going to put this in my car and I'm going to drive to the UPS store or the whatever store you have nearby that will pack it for you so that it actually stays, you know, unbroken in the mail all the way to wherever he is. It's painful and it's expensive, but you say that's one of the things we're going to do while you're here. You know, we'll go out to eat or something, and on the way there, we're going to stop by this place. Just going through that action will start to reveal to him maybe, actually, I don't really want it that bad.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah.
Dana
And then you have the reality of, I love this thing. It is super cool, but I can't have it in my house. I don't have a place. He said he wanted it, but he doesn't actually want it enough to do the thing to actually have it. And therefore I need to let it go. And it's painful and it's awful. But that's the process that you go through for this reality acceptance. Because as it is, it's driving you bananas, right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. It's stupid. It doesn't belong there. And there's no. Like, this house is an A frame, basically. There's no. There's no, you know, there's no fireplace, there's no mantle, there's no shelves built in. It's just like a big chalet like you would go rent for a weekend somewhere. And there's no. It's not like real living here, you know, it's just kind of open, which is really nice, but there's no surfaces. Unless I.
Dana
It's really nice when it is functioning that way. And the reality of the function of a chalet that you would go rent for a weekend is that it doesn't have a lot of stuff in it.
Patreon Member / Client
Right, right.
Dana
Right. And so for it to actually be what you want it to be, the stuff has to. And so because it is hard to go. There's all these things that would be great to do with this thing. I hate to just set it out on the curb and see if somebody wants it. Right. But going from where you are now to there is really hard. But going from where you are now to okay, here's the lamp. You got to take it home. Oh, I don't want to take it home. Okay, let's go and mail it. Oh, I don't actually want to mail it. Okay. And then that leads you to this place of being willing to put it on the curb because you have done the things where as long as it's just kind of in your mind is, oh, that's a hard thing to do, but I need to do it. But just going ahead and doing those things. But it's not easy. I'm not saying like, oh, just do this and you'll be fine. It's hard, but this is how we get through it.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I'm getting rid of it. I promise in one way or another, it's not going to live here anymore. Even though it's like sentimental a little. But you know, I'm not that. I. I took it on a plane back from my mom. She had it for a long time. Then I took it home. I was like, wow, why? But anyhow, yeah, let's not talk about the lamp anymore.
Dani K. White
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Patreon Member / Client
All.
Dani K. White
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Dana
Perfect.
Dani K. White
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Dana
Okay, let's talk about something else. What do you want to talk about?
Patreon Member / Client
So you know the clothes thing. You know, for example, you know clothes that are good enough for me to keep because I find them useful. Like when I came home, it's freezing. I mean it's cold here right now. Not that cold. It was cold. So I put on this woolen thing and it had a whole mothball and has more Mothballs, lots. And it's like nothing you can give away. I don't want to throw it away, and I can't donate it. And I wear it myself, and it's not good enough to give away, but I wear the torn thing myself, even though it's like bad feng shui to say, I'll keep a torn thing, get rid of it. But, you know, they cost a bunch of money when you first get them, and. And it still functions perfectly with a few holes in it. You know, I slept in it, I was warm. And it's not the only one I have. But. Yeah. What do you think about that? That, you know, it's good enough for me, but it's not even good enough to give away. Like, when I left on my trip, I left my Hoka sneakers in the Sahara desert for people. I asked them, they said, yes, we want them. So I left my big old sneakers there because I had them for a long time and I. They served me and I wore them there, and it's like, no, I need them anymore, you guys, and keep them. So.
Dana
Yeah, well, there's a couple things if you want to get rid of it. There are clothing recyclers. So I know even in my little bitty town, there are clothing recycling bins. Okay. And so that is a possibility of something that you could do so that that gets used for something hopefully positive. Right. But the other thing to remember is you said that you have multiple of them. Do they all have the holes in them?
Patreon Member / Client
A lot of them got holes. One time got attacked.
Dana
But okay, I mean, here's the thing. Like, I. I see what you're wearing right now. You look beautiful. It is an undershirt, if you like. There's nothing wrong with. I mean, I'm not a feng shui person. I don't even know how it all works, right? Like, I don't even know what the rules are. I'm just saying, like, if. If it serves the purpose of making you warm as an undershirt, then great, that's fine. But if it no longer serves that purpose and if it is time to let it go, then knowing this is the defining factor, I would wear it. However, it is a damaged item that is just going to cause more hassle for the people I would be donating it to. So I'm going to throw it away, even though I would technically wear it. Right.
Patreon Member / Client
And so I haven't heard of that here. Even where I live in a town that's kind of progressive and stuff, I haven't Heard of that? I'll ask around about that.
Dana
Yeah. Do you have those little boxes like where you shove clothes in?
Patreon Member / Client
No.
Dana
Okay. It's surprising to me that we would have anything that other people would not have. But their little clothing donation boxes, like bins, kind of looks like a oversized, you know, post office box, something. And you just put the things in there and some of them specifically say they're for clothing recycling. Right. So that would be the first thing that I would ask. You might call the place where you would donate clothes anyway and ask them because a lot of them do want clothes for recycling to sell to rag makers. Okay.
Patreon Member / Client
Shoes, like shoes like I was able to leave there because I know they really need them. But here, everyone's so spoiled. What are they going to do with my.
Dana
But there are places that do recycle shoes. Like so that is, that can be a thing. But at the same time that is only an option if you will follow through on that option. If it's not, if you're not going to follow through on that, then it is better to throw it in the trash.
Patreon Member / Client
That's the hardest part for me is like. And a lot of people, the waste, you know, like the, you know, the, like the cost that it costs. But I've, you, I've. I've used it up. I've used I 2017 and now it's 2024. I've got my use out of a bunch of these things like shoes and stuff. So that's silly. People athletes change their shoes, their sneakers every three months or something.
Dana
Yeah, not me, but yeah, a lot of people too.
Patreon Member / Client
I'll find out about, I'll find out about that.
Dana
Yeah. But, but my, my point though is that it is okay to get rid of it and also to acknowledge, use the container concept. Do all of your clothes fit easily within your drawers and your closet?
Patreon Member / Client
Stuffed.
Dana
They're stuffed full. Okay. So let that be your deciding factor to where you go. There's all kinds of reasons why this could still be useful. And yet this space is not functional. This space has so much stuff in it that it's hard to use. It's making my life harder, which means that it's not benefiting my life to have this in here. So I am going to take my. The, the least favorites which. Using the decluttering process on the five step decluttering process on clothing. You start with trash, right? So trash would be your damaged items. So pulling those out with, you know, if you have 10 of these shirts that you wear as an undershirt when you're cold and they all have holes in them, it's very likely you could stay warm all the times you need to stay warm and only keep three of those. Right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah.
Dana
And you. And that would be seven items that you could get rid of, which would free up space and make it a little bit less crowded. And then you keep going with other things. So letting that container be the decision. And. And so that you can say, I see value in this item. I don't think it is throwaway worthy. Like, I think it can absolutely still serve a purpose. And yet the facts are the facts. I don't have the space for it. And if I don't have the space for it, then the only option for it is to be recycled or thrown away because it isn't in a condition where I can donate it. And so it's that basing it on facts. Because what you're saying is the feelings are what stop you from decluttering, right?
Patreon Member / Client
I think so. I should tell you that I did have a friend. Haven't seen her lately, but every time she would come over to a little group that I was having, I would have a little bag of stuff sort of like that for her, and she took it because she's going to cut it all up and do some weaving with it. So she. She was a great source to unload my guilt on.
Dana
Yeah.
Patreon Member / Client
So she might still be available for that. I just remembered her.
Dana
Yeah. Well, and it could be a thing where you put it into a bag and you send her a text and you say, I've got a bag full of stuff. Do you want it? You know, if you don't come pick it up before trash day, I'm gonna go ahead and, you know, put it in the trash.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. In the past, I've mended. I. I have mended stuff, but I don't have time. I'm old now. I mean, really, you know, there's not that much time in life. That's why, you know, it's like, can I do this and set myself free? And I have a whole. That drawer of hats I just showed you. A lot of them are handmade, hand knitted by me. And it's hard. So I. I don't know if. Will I ever heal? Will I ever be able to do this? Dana, I.
Dana
Yes, you will. But you don't start with those hats. You need to start with the things that you don't care about. Okay, so what is something that, like, look around your house. Like you said, it's an Open concept. You can see things, look around your house and say, oh, I actually, that wouldn't be that hard. And start with that. Start with your space. Start with the trash that you can deal with. Start with the things that are not emotional for you. Get rid of that. Because what happened, the way you get to the point where you're willing to get rid of something that feels so difficult now is that you experience how much easier it is to live with less stuff. Like you just said, like, I don't want all this stuff in my house. I want it to be easier to function here. So experience that by getting rid of some stuff and then it starts to change how you view things. And that's how you build the momentum. Which is the reason why I recommend that you start in the most visible space first so that you can experience it, so that your living can be easier.
Patreon Member / Client
And while I know this because I've been listening to you and watching everything I can, I don't know what it is that prevents it kind of thing.
Dana
Yeah, I think the first step is to go and throw away seven of ten moth eaten shirts. That'd be the first step. I mean, you know, because it's a category of things, right? Like it's things that, you know, I can stay warm with three of these and I don't know how many you have, but I can stay warm with three and I'm going to get rid of the rest. And it's gonna be hard and it's gonna be painful, it's not gonna be easy, but that space is gonna be a little easier to function in. And then you're gonna get rid of something else where you go, you know what, actually this is damaged too. And so I'm gonna get rid of just the damaged things that I could make do with. But in reality I've gotta get rid of something, right? Like I have to get rid of something for my face, my space to be functional. And if I have to get rid of something, I need some criteria for that. And I'm going to do damaged things as trash first. But it's hard.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. Overwhelming. Yeah, I mean it really is overwhelming. Just all the CDs and the little cassette things, all that.
Dana
Do you have a CD player?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I do have one little. A little, you know, bows that plays one at a time. And it's sitting near a drawer where I keep those.
Dana
Do you have a cassette player?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I think it is a. Yeah, it's a cassette player, right? It's okay. Yeah, the disc player, it's Little. But if you put it in, it does play.
Dana
Okay. And do all of the CDs and cassettes that you have fit in that container, that space?
Patreon Member / Client
No, I have two spaces, maybe three. So I can. I have to get them down to one.
Dana
Consolidate that. Yeah. So the first thing you would do is the one where you would look for them first. Go through that one first and see is there anything in here that's trash? Like, meaning I don't even know where the cassette is anymore. For some reason. I only have the container or whatever, you know, like things that can be thrown away, things that were a sample or something that I got or some kind of. Somebody was trying to sell me something. Remember those? You know, they would give you a cassette, they were trying to sell you something so you never even wanted it, whatever.
Patreon Member / Client
But CDs, you know, flat little record thing. Okay, CDs, not the sets.
Dana
Yeah, but CDs, okay. So, yeah, go through those and get rid of the easiest ones to get rid of. And then with the next one, you go through there and you pick your favorites and you go to put it into that first space. And in that first space, if it doesn't have room, you have to decide, is it worth me taking something else out in order to make the space for it? And then you just keep doing that and keep doing that until all three of those are down into that one. That's the first place where you would look for it. If you do that, it's gonna start building those decluttering muscles, which is a big part of what you need, is you need to build that decluttering momentum and strength that is making it so hard. So that would be a great opportunity because it's so container based, which takes the emotions out of it. And you get to blame the container and say, I wish I could keep them all. But the reality is the container is the size that it is. And consolidating that will help.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, nice to have none of them, but, you know, you used to stick them in your computer, but now computers don't have a way to do that unless you get something to hook on to the extra who has. I don't have time to load them all. I have a lot on my computer, but not. Yeah, okay. If the time is worth consolidating those to one thing. Or is it better than just. Yeah, okay, well, that'll be.
Dana
Is the thing that. Were you about to say, or is it better to just throw them all out? Is that what you're about to say?
Patreon Member / Client
I know, but There are some, you know, they want to listen to. Sometimes I don't listen to.
Dana
Here's the thing. Sure, it would be great to throw them all out, but if you can't, you need to do the consolidating thing. Okay. Because here's the problem is like our brains go, I should probably just throw those all out. I can't throw those all out. But I should throw them all out. I can't throw them all out. I should really just throw them all out. Why am I so worried about a few of these? And then you're like, no, no. But there's got to be some in there that I probably. And that keeps you from doing something where the consolidating them into one is doing something that will get you there. Right. And so that is better. Even though it would take more time than throwing them all out. But if you never actually throw them all out, then you're stuck in the same place of not doing anything.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, it does sound like it will. Like, you got to pick which time sucker is going to be worth it. More like which thing.
Dana
The way you determine that is what is moving forward. Even if it's slow, if it's moving forward, that's the one to choose if it's being stuck, because, oh, I would be moving forward so fast if I would just do this thing. But I'm stuck. Being stuck is the non option that is always the wrong choice is if you're just stuck, but if you are inching teeny tiny bits forward, that is the right choice.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I get it. And I kind of want to speed it up because you realize you don't have that much time. You don't know how much time you have. No one knows how much time they have. But.
Dana
And that is all true. And that's all true. And speeding it up is a wonderful goal. But it sounds like the getting started has been the harder part for you.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, it just feels like part, you know.
Dana
Right. And sometimes the knowing how important it would be, how helpful it would be to speed it up makes you not willing to start in a slow way. But then you're still not starting. So what I recommend is you start the slow way and then as you do that, you're going to naturally start speeding up. It is going like. But. But you have to start so small. But that is the thing that will get you to the point where you're able to go faster.
Patreon Member / Client
I'm taking.
Dana
Yeah, yeah. So tell me, what else did you want to talk about? Or was that the main Thing.
Patreon Member / Client
Well, the add part is really hard and I, you know, have collections of stuff like everybody and some of the fiber arts. And you know, your palette for me, you have to have everything, you know, all the whole entire palette in order to create a creative like and you know that. And then it's, you know, I did get, I did take a big bag of stuff to the, to get rid of fairly recently too. And that was good, but it doesn't, didn't make a dent, of course, so I need to continue working on that.
Dana
So you, you said that was with the add. Is that what you were?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, it just seems like, I don't know, I do have trouble focusing and staying on task to do stuff. Sure.
Dana
Yeah. Well, and I think that that is made even more challenging by having more stuff. Yeah. Because it's the endless choices and then all of a sudden with the endless choices, then it becomes a, oh, now I'm stressing over making the right choices and things where if you, you know, taking the action that you want to take, you know, of the fiber arts or whatever it is, saying, okay, this is the thing I'm going to do. So what part of this, what small project can I go ahead and do? Using this that often is the thing that helps you see, oh, I collected all of these things from my travels and from my interesting life over the years, thinking I was going to use it for these things. But then the actual doing of the thing that the craft or whatever it is helps you see, oh, I like these colors. I like this type of fabric. I like this feel of things. And therefore the other things can go. But as long as they're just kind of sitting there and gathering as a thing that I'm going to do someday, then you don't know at that point what you're going to really love. So there's so much value in saying, okay, I'm going to go ahead and do one of these things that I've been collecting stuff for, for years.
Patreon Member / Client
Okay, let me ask you this. I have, I have a loom, a big loom and it's sitting up there in my loft. I started making rug on it and I haven't sat down to do it lately for months. For a couple of years probably. You know, especially I had all these broken bone things going on. And so I, it keeps going through my mind that why do I even want to make a rug out of all this hand spun yarn that I spun and made years ago? And it's not skin soft, it's good for a Rug. That's it. And then I think, well, what am I going to do with the rug? Rugs are effort. Rugs make too much work. You have to, you know, just have a wood floor. It's easier to clean it. And if you have a rug, you know, it's a big deal. It's like, thing. So it's like, oh, I'm going to make this rug. It's like, where am I going to put it? And why. Why would I even want to? So I have thoughts of just saying, I'm going to get rid of the rug and all the product that I was making the thing with. I would say, oh, just sit down and finish it. And then I have kids. They don't want it. They don't want any of my. They don't want stuff like that. They don't want. They're that generation. They want, like, new. Well, one of them is kind of like they. They appreciate stuff. The other ones like anything, you know. You know, I don't appreciate that kind of thing.
Dana
Yeah. But the loom, I'm assuming, is a somewhat large item, right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. It would make a big space if I got rid of it.
Dana
Yeah. And the impact of that would go so far in changing your home and change and, you know, like, we were talking before about needing to get rid of some stuff to open up space, to experience what it's like to live with less stuff and more space, and then that being the thing that will urge you and push you to start making faster progress. Getting rid of the loom would take you leaps and bounds with one item being gone. One item and all the stuff that goes with it.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, it would. I could concentrate on that.
Dana
So I would say that would be a fantastic thing to say. I have just made this decision that this will open up space, make me enjoy my home more. I can function better in my home, and I can do the other things that I really want to do without the guilt that's weighing on me of all the decluttering I should be doing. So I'm going to get rid of this item and everything with it. Somebody is going to be thrilled.
Patreon Member / Client
Sure.
Dana
To have that. To find that in a thrift store. I mean, if somebody finds a loom and supplies for it, they will be making a tik tok somewhere about how they found it and how excited they are.
Patreon Member / Client
Probably. I'll try to sell it first.
Dana
That's fine. As long as you'll do it. Have you sold things before?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I. I have been. And then so weird. I was Away out of country. I had all these people text me how can I come get those little stacking shelves? And it's like, call me a couple weeks, I'm out of the country. It's like, who cares for 10 or 20 bucks? It's stupid, but something like that. Yeah, I would. I sold a bunch of equipment. I'm very proud of myself. I sold carding machine. I sold a small. Couple small looms. I have been. And this year I got rid of some of the stuff on the mess or whatever it's called Marketplace and. But it is all those things you say about it. It is a total hassle because people, they don't show up or they come and say, you know, it takes a long time to get it together. Like the me meeting time. That is a pain for sure. But yeah, I have sold a bunch of that equipment because people do want that stuff here in my town especially. It's very.
Dana
No, I, I would absolutely like snap the picture and put it up today. You're home, you're ready. First come, first serve, whatever. However you found it to be most successful in your area and get that thing out of there because it's going to make a huge impact and it's going to do the thing that you keep saying you want, which is I want it to go faster but then I get stuck. That one thing. You've made a decision about it. Get it out, it's going to move you faster.
Patreon Member / Client
Right? You're right. It's. It's like up there, it's like they'll have to get it down without smashing all my railings and stuff. It's big. Yeah, we'll have to figure that part out. But I'll take pictures. I'll say you'll have to pick it up and you'll have to either take it. It could be taken apart, but they probably want to finish what's on there. Maybe, I don't know. We'll figure it out. That's. So I'm going to do that today. I'm going to take pictures of it today for sure.
Dana
Today. And list it today. Yep.
Patreon Member / Client
Well, like I can't. But I mean I can't have somewhere to go. But yeah, I will.
Dana
Okay. Tomorrow.
Patreon Member / Client
Tomorrow I'm telling you, get rid of it. And then I'm going to write to you and tell you I did it.
Dana
Yeah, please do. No, I mean there's so much value in getting rid of something big as far as jump starting that momentum that you're. You're craving.
Patreon Member / Client
So yeah, I Saw your chair. A chair episode?
Dana
Yeah. Oh, it's. It just makes such a difference. Makes such a difference. It's like, oh, my house is bigger all of a sudden.
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Patreon Member / Client
Yep.
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Dana
Yeah. So is there anything else you wanted to talk about?
Patreon Member / Client
Oh, yeah, the thing with the. I'm a bag lady. I love bags. You know, I was saying that I, I think I just listed somebody on one of your things that said, oh, they have a lot of bags. I get bored. I think it's from add. I get bored of the same thing all the time. I always change like from a bank, a purse or whatever. I always, I love that stuff. I love baskets. I love bags and I love them. I have no desire to get rid of them at all. But I was thinking this morning, I'm going to cram them all into this one spot. And yeah, it just, I think it's part of the add. I just get bored and I want to change stuff and how I lose things because, you know, it was in the other one. And.
Dana
Well, and I think that's the beauty of the container concept is it's not trying to rationalize yourself down to only having one bag. It is literally, okay, where's the place where you would look for your bags for an extra bag that you're not using? So tell me where that would be.
Patreon Member / Client
In your house, in this towel closet. Okay, here's a little. I have a very small hallway. Here's the hallway, there's the living room. This is you know, Anyway, it's this thing. Towel closet. So.
Dana
Okay.
Patreon Member / Client
I. House, you know, not that much crap in here. I kind of went through it already. And then this, I just have this, you know, wheels. And inside I just have lots of bags. And there's more other in the house than that, too. There's more. You see what I mean? Why did you call this? It was easy to get to. It doesn't make sense to have it in this.
Dana
It doesn't matter if it makes sense. If that's where you would look for it, that's where it should be. So that is your container. It's close to full. That means you. Every bag in the house that you run across, you take it to that space and you one in, one out it. But you take it there now to that space to determine is it worth the space for me to keep this bag? Meaning, is it. Do I love it enough that I'm willing to get rid of another one and you. One in, one out, and then all the bags are consolidated there. And that's going to benefit your whole house?
Patreon Member / Client
That's a good, good idea. So here's the wool room. It's. Now, this bed was clear before I came home, but I dumped all the stuff out of my suitcase on here to see if I can get ready for my next trip. See what I didn't use. But the point I brought you in this room for is here's where I have my baskets up on the ceiling.
Dana
Okay.
Patreon Member / Client
It's crazy. I mean, it's crazy, but I have to say, people might sleep on that bed sometimes. But, you know, do they feel like a basket is going to fall on their head? None has, so.
Dana
Well, I mean, that's. That's where you have to go. Do I want this to be the. The room with baskets on the ceiling, or do I want it to be the guest room? You know, like, that might. Yeah, that might determine. It's like, okay, if this is my guest room, I can have some decorative baskets hanging in the guest room. But there's that line right between a few decorative baskets, you know, hanging in there and basket storage room. There's a. There's a line there, right?
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, kind of. They're on the ceiling, so I don't have them on the floor.
Dana
Yeah.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah. I don't have that many guests, probably because it's the best.
Dana
The first thing I would do is get rid of that loom, though. I mean, really, it will change your. It'll change your perspective. So you've got the loom You've got purses. You're not gathering all your purses together and then deciding you're taking one purse at a time all the way to that place where you would look for purses in that storage container at the bottom of your linen closet. You go to that thing, and for this one bag that I just brought here, now, some of them, you're not even going to feel like walking all that way. And that will be your answer. Right? But the taking it there now is the answer to, okay, this isn't even worth it to me to walk all the way to that part of the house so I know I can get rid of it. Then you get another one, and you walk it all the way there, and you go, okay, which one? That's already in here. Am I willing to donate to make the space for this? And then you pull one out to donate and put that in there. So you're never saying you just flat out can't have bags. You're just saying, this is the space that I have for bags, and if I try to keep more than that, there's no hope of them being under control.
Patreon Member / Client
I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna get all the bags, and if they don't fit in there, one at a time.
Dana
One at a time. You're not gathering them all up and then doing it. You're taking one bag. Yeah, one bag at a time. If you, you know, you can take two. If you're taking them from the same spot to that place, you make the decision about those. That one bag or those two bags, and then you go and you get another bag and you bring it there. But we're not just going to gather them and put them in a pile, because that's a recipe for disaster.
Patreon Member / Client
Okay.
Dana
Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?
Patreon Member / Client
Oh, what about the, you know, the. The old dishes? Yeah, that were.
Dana
What about them?
Patreon Member / Client
Family. Yeah. What do I do with them?
Dana
I mean, I use family heirloom dishes.
Patreon Member / Client
Yeah, I guess so. They were my great dads.
Dana
It's the container concept. It's the. What space do you have for dishes, and are you willing to use that space for those? Meaning if you only have space for the dishes that you actually use, then are you willing to use those dishes every day? You know, if you only have space for everyday dishes, are you willing to use those for everyday dishes? If not, then there's no room for them. Or do you have a place for, you know, antique dishes? And if not, then you get to blame the space and go I think these things are really, really cool. I think they're very valuable and meaningful and sentimental and yet I don't have the space.
Patreon Member / Client
They are all contained in a space, but I have too many by myself. I don't entertain that much. I have a lot of.
Dana
The other thing you can do is keep one place setting and let the others go. So that way you still have the thing that means so much to you but you don't have the bulk of the clutter. The bulk of the item. But the other thing too to remember is that all of this is going to be easier as you build momentum. So what's the first thing you have to do? Take purses to the purse place. Get rid of the loom. Those little teeny tiny, not always the hassle free. But they're decisions that you already know what to do. Acting on those decisions is going to be the thing that makes all this other stuff start to feel possible and easier.
Patreon Member / Client
People get through it all. It's so much how do people do it?
Dana
And so one item at a time, that's how they do it.
Patreon Member / Client
I wish I was like 20.
Dana
Well, but one leads to 20. Like even if, even if somebody is getting rid of a huge amount of stuff, they're starting by picking up one item and making a decision and acting on that decision. Okay, tell me what you love about being a kindred spirit.
Patreon Member / Client
That there's sameness. There's a lot of sameness and people with a problem and not. None of my friends have the problem that I. That I associate with really that I can think of. I'd have to think, but I like it that there's people that the smallest little thing, I mean other people can relate to.
Dana
Yeah.
Patreon Member / Client
And absolutely not say what is wrong with you? You know, and all that. Because there is something wrong. And I think it's my brain that becomes so attached and spending all these years collecting. I mean I read somewhere that the, the good part of it is that you enjoy collecting it but now you don't have to keep it. You got your kicks collecting it or getting it now it's that important supposedly.
Dana
Yeah. Well, and you are still traveling and you're still doing interesting things and so curating what you do keep in the house so that there's open space for new stuff. You know, you're. The more that you get rid of, the more picky you're going to be about anything you bring home from your next trip. And then there's actually going to be space for it. Right. Well, hey, it's been so much fun. I'm excited to hear what you said. You were going to email me and tell me what you've done. So I would love to hear it. And it's been, it means a lot that you're willing to share this and share it with our audience. And I think it's going to be really helpful because I'm telling you, you. You know that you are not the only one. Like, there's a lot of us who struggle with these exact same things and hearing you talk through it is. Is very helpful for other people.
Patreon Member / Client
So I appreciate that you did it. Yeah. I hope it works for me. A little time. I'm gonna do the big thing. I'm gonna do that big thing first.
Dana
Do the big thing and then do a little thing. A little thing has as much value in getting you going. Just do one little thing and another little thing and another little thing and you'll start to really make progress.
Patreon Member / Client
Not worth anything anyway. It's not worth anything. It's just stuff. It's meaningless, really. It really is.
Dana
But convincing yourself it's meaningless is not a strategy, right? Because it does mean something to you. A strategy is to start with the trash, do the easy stuff, get rid of the obvious easy donations, if there are any, and then take things to the place where you would look for it first and acknowledge the reality of that space. You know, I mean, like, that's a strategy. We're just saying because what I hear in you a lot is this, like, I love it. It's so meaningful to me. And then you say, but it's just stuff. It's not meaningful, but I love it. It's so meaningful. That's not getting you anywhere. But item by item, taking things to the place where you would look for it first and seeing if there's actually any room for it there, that will move you forward.
Patreon Member / Client
Thank you so much. You're so, you're so helpful, really. Thank you so much, Dana. I really appreciate you so, so, so much.
Dana
Thank you. I hope you all loved that. I hope you can relate and take.
Dani K. White
Things that we discussed and let those things help you work through your own clutter in your own home. So don't forget if you would like to know more about being a patron of the show and that's who gets to apply to do these sessions. And also there's just a lot of other amazing perks, including one of those being ad free podcasts. You can go to patreon.com slob comes clean. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slob comes clean. All right, I will talk to you all next week.
Dana
Bye.
A Slob Comes Clean – Episode 474: "Decluttering When It’s All So Interesting"
Host: Dana K. White
Guest: Patreon Member / Client (75-year-old retired real estate broker)
Date: September 4, 2025
Theme: Reality-Based Cleaning, Organizing, and Decluttering Strategies for Real People
This episode centers on a strategy session between Dana K. White and a Patreon community member who shares her personal struggles with decluttering, attachment to possessions, and the challenge of managing a lifetime's worth of "interesting" stuff. As someone wishing for a more functional, serene home, the guest opens up about real-life obstacles—sentimentality, the burden of decision-making, limited storage, and the desire to create space for new life adventures and family. Dana’s advice is rooted in gentle realism, incremental progress, and practical decision-making.
Dishes as a Mental Win (03:00–04:04)
Five-Minute Pickup (04:04–04:24)
Attachment Explained (05:39–06:19)
Sentimental Heirlooms (11:11–18:33)
"Take It There Now" Principle (16:04 onwards)
Container Concept (26:55; 48:15; 50:03)
Start with Visible Spaces (09:12–10:39; 30:14–31:17)
Item-By-Item, Not Piles (51:23–51:54)
Old Clothes (22:26–27:13)
Old CDs, Cassettes, and Media (32:28–36:43)
Focus, Overwhelm, and ADD Challenges (38:25–39:52)
Community and Support (54:10–54:32)
On Sentimental Objects:
"It's a category of things, right? Like it's things that, you know, I can stay warm with three of these and I don't know how many you have, but I can stay warm with three and I'm going to get rid of the rest. And it's gonna be hard and it's gonna be painful, it's not gonna be easy, but that space is gonna be a little easier to function in." – Dana (31:27)
On Facing Reality:
"When I go and I say, I'm going to put this in my car and I'm going to drive to the UPS store... it's painful and it's expensive, but you say that's one of the things we're going to do while you're here... Just going through that action will start to reveal to him maybe, actually, I don't really want it that bad." – Dana (14:07)
On Progress:
"One item at a time, that's how they do it." – Dana (53:46)
On Emotional Attachment:
"Because what I hear in you a lot is this, like, I love it. It's so meaningful to me. And then you say, but it's just stuff. It's not meaningful, but I love it. It's so meaningful. That's not getting you anywhere. But item by item, taking things to the place where you would look for it first and seeing if there's actually any room for it there, that will move you forward." – Dana (56:26)
Dana’s tone is patient, non-judgmental, down-to-earth, and deeply practical. She consistently reframes decluttering as small, actionable steps rooted in current reality, not guilt or abstract ideals. The guest’s openness about her struggles, humor (“I want a Zen house!”), and desire for a peaceful home make this a highly relatable session for listeners at any point in their decluttering journey.
Final Advice:
For more on Dana’s decluttering philosophy and community resources, visit aslobcomesclean.com.