509: Getting Unstuck in Overwhelming Decluttering Situations

Summary

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Episode Summary: “Getting Unstuck in Overwhelming Decluttering Situations”

Podcast: A Slob Comes Clean with Dana K. White
Episode: 509 (May 7, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on breaking free from feeling paralyzed during overwhelming decluttering projects—especially when you reach the “decision fatigue” stage, where only tough choices remain after the obvious trash and donations are gone. Dana welcomes a retired listener and Patreon community member for a candid, relatable discussion about practical decluttering, sentimental items, physical limitations, and navigating larger projects such as managing a parent’s home after their passing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Listener’s Background & Initial Successes

• The guest, a retired grandmother with three large dogs and grown children, shares her journey discovering Dana’s methods after retirement.
• Insight: Tackling trash first (“just looking for trash”) works as a non-intimidating entry point to getting started.
  • “[That] has worked well in most of my rooms, and I'm getting things more and more under control.” (03:00, Guest)

2. The Frustration After Initial Progress

• Despite being highly competent in other areas (the guest was a labor and delivery nurse), she was surprised at the persistent challenge of home organization after retirement.
• Quote:
  • “[It was] discouraging. Yeah, very discouraging… Why can’t I do this?” (04:55, Guest)
  • Dana normalizes this: “It was very helpful to find out I wasn't alone... This is more normal than we ever imagine among otherwise very driven, successful women.” (05:24, Dana)

3. The Power of “Take It There Now”

• Instead of piling things to deal with “later,” Dana’s rule means immediately relocating an object to where it belongs.
• Memorable Story: The guest shares how this method helped her transform a sentimental Fisher Price farm toy into something her grandson could enjoy—avoiding the regret of missing the opportunity.
  • “Instead of doing anything else in that room, I took it downstairs... he played with it... and if I had just put it in a pile... he might have outgrown it.” (06:13, Guest)

4. Getting Stuck: The Plateau After Trash & Donations

• The guest laments rooms (like guest/attic spaces) where all that remains are “decision, decision, decision” items—no more easy wins.
• Dana reframes the process:
  • Key Point: “The step is to look for obvious donations, not to find obvious donations. If you can't find any, that’s not failure.” (10:16, Dana)
  • If nothing is an obvious donation, proceed to the “where would I look for this first?” question for each item.

5. Decluttering Process for Sentimental and Ambiguous Items

• Dana’s Method (13:58–18:14):
  • Hold each item; ask, “If I were looking for this, where would I look for it first?”
    • Not: “Should I keep this?” or “Would I ever really look for this?”
  • Prioritize items without a real home, especially those on beds or floors.
  • If two items are competing for limited space, honestly decide which deserves the spot—no “bad” or “guilt” framing.
  • Quote: “We’re not saying, should I get rid of this? We’re saying, where would I look for it first, and is there room for it?” (17:11, Dana)

6. Special Categories: Kids’ Stuff Left Behind

• Dealing with grown children’s items:
  • Use the decluttering process, and when something needs to be displaced by a new necessity, text or call the child: “I’m decluttering and need this space for [my sewing machine]. Do you want your Hot Wheels, or should I donate them?” (24:01, Dana)
  • Avoid making the impending question hypothetical; tie it to an immediate need to make the choice real.

7. Overwhelm Trigger: Sentimental/Photograph Collections

• Dana recommends consistently doing the most overwhelming/sentimental boxes last.
  • “If you were to free that room up... you would have space to really enjoy the process of [going through] the photographs.” (25:57, Dana)
  • Guest: “Having this idea that, oh, I'll do those last... wow.” (26:37, Guest)

8. Physical Limitations & Big Items

• For heavy furniture or items you can’t move, handle what you physically can first (boxes, surfaces), and ask for help only once the space is as cleared as possible.
  • “Every little bit that's gone is going to make the space better... focus on the things you can do.” (29:58, Dana)
  • “Skip the thing that stops you... just keep on going with the things you can do physically.” (31:44, Dana)
  • Guest adopted the mantra: “Progress and only progress... this is better.” (32:05, Guest)

9. Changing How You Use Spaces

• Be aware that “where would I look for it first?” should change as the function of a room changes—don’t automatically store things in the attic just because you always did.
  • “If the attic room is in the state you want it to be in, that changes where you would look for it first.” (32:55, Dana)

10. Managing a Loved One’s Home After Passing

• When clearing out a parent/in-law’s house to sell:

  • Start with trash, then obvious donations.
  • Hold off on distributing items or asking if anyone wants things until after the obvious is gone—reduces the volume and the emotional overwhelm.
  • Use photos to communicate about items with siblings/family, and create designated spots to separate things being claimed (38:00, Dana).

• Estate Sale/Junk Pickup Advice:

  • Dana suggests estate sales can be useful if recommended, and hiring junk pickup at the end is often necessary to prevent bringing unwanted items into your own home. (39:41–40:16, Dana)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On getting started with decluttering:

  • “Just looking for trash gets me started.” (02:39, Guest)

• On paralysis after easy steps:

  • “I walk in and I say, ‘I can't let go of this. This was my son's first toy...’ and I give up.” (09:57, Guest)

• On sentimental bottlenecks:

  • “It always feels like sentimental needs a different system. Surely sentimental is different. Right?” (18:22, Dana)

• On space as the ultimate limiter:

  • “Does this extra blanket deserve space more than this toy? ... Realistically... my kids live nearby, they've got their own blankets.” (15:11, Dana)

• On expectations:

  • “It was discouraging... [to] realize that hadn't magically changed everything.” (04:55, Guest)

• Practical encouragement:

  • “Progress and only progress... has been very helpful for me too. Just thinking, this is better.” (32:05, Guest)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–03:12: Introduction, guest background, initial decluttering success
• 04:08–05:52: Emotional letdown after retirement, normalization of struggle
• 05:52–07:39: “Take it there now” and sentimental toy story
• 08:18–13:58: Stagnation after trash/donation steps; decision fatigue
• 13:58–18:14: Navigating sentimental items, Dana’s stepwise method
• 18:22–25:07: Attic/guest room focus, how to create momentum
• 25:52–27:36: Handling overwhelming photo collections—“do them last”
• 28:12–32:47: Physical limitations and handling heavy items
• 32:47–33:24: Rethinking storage based on room use
• 35:02–41:21: Dealing with a parent’s home after their passing, estate sales
• 41:21–end: The value of the Patreon community, group support

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Closing Thoughts

This episode compassionately and realistically addresses common feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and stuck-ness that arise during decluttering—especially with sentimental items, keepsakes, and family homes. Dana's stepwise strategies give practical frameworks and psychological relief, while the guest’s stories and questions highlight the universality of these struggles and the hope of incremental progress.

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For more community, guidance, and support:
Visit Dana’s Patreon: patreon.com/aslobcomesclean

Transcript

[Dana K. White]

Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean, the podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal DES lobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people, even people who don't like cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 509, and I think I'm going to call it Getting Unstuck in Overwhelming Decluttering Situations. So I love this conversation that we're having today. Just a delightful member of my Patreon community, and we talk about multiple different issues faced on these rooms where you're like, I've done the trash. I've done the donate. And then I walk in and I'm like, I don't know what to do. So we talk about getting unstuck, and it just was a really great conversation. I do want to tell you this tip that she told me after we had stopped recording that I thought was so great. And that is she was saying that when her grandsons come over and they don't want to clean up, she specifically, specifically was talking about in the kitchen, like, cleaning up. She said, hey, I'll take a before picture. And something about the before picture and seeing the impact that they can make to see the difference in the after picture is just so motivating for her grandsons. And I thought, well, that is the cutest and coolest and greatest idea ever. So I know a lot of y' all have little ones that are in your homes, and so give it a try, see what could happen. I thought that was a great idea. So I hope you enjoyed this conversation. Here we go. Welcome. Thank you so much for coming on and talking about you.

[Podcast Guest]

You're welcome. And thank you for having me.

[Dana K. White]

I'm so excited. So tell me a little bit about your unique life situation.

[Podcast Guest]

I am retired. My children are grown, but they live nearby. Two of them do, and one lives in Texas, so that's fun, too. I was just there yesterday.

[Dana K. White]

Oh, wow.

[Podcast Guest]

So. So we have pets. Three dogs, Three big dogs. And so that is a challenge sometimes, keeping things clean. And I love to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. Okay. Okay.

[Dana K. White]

Are they in the house a lot?

[Podcast Guest]

Yes.

[Dana K. White]

Okay, great. So tell me some things that are working well for you.

[Podcast Guest]

Well, it has worked really well for me to follow your process when I clean. One of the things I love is, like, just looking for trash. It gets me started. So that has worked well in most of my rooms, and I'm getting things More and more under control.

[Dana K. White]

Okay. Is that something that was, like, immediately helped you, or did you kind of have to work up to understanding how it all worked?

[Podcast Guest]

So I watched a lot of videos before I started, and it immediately helped me. It has immediately helped me. I've never been good at keeping house or because my job before I retired was very labor intensive. I. I'm laughing because I used to deliver babies and I just said labor intensive.

[Dana K. White]

Oh, it's a pun. Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

Any. I would work 60 hours a week, some weeks. And so I always thought when I retired, oh, I'll get my home in order then. And I didn't. I retired during COVID and then I found you and all the other people in the Take youe House back. And it helped a lot.

[Dana K. White]

So I think this is so normal. Right. And I. I'm curious, like, at the time when, like, what was it like when you retired and realized that hadn't magically changed everything? Because, like, what I. What I find in talking to people, which I didn't understand before, which was the reason I was like, what is wrong with me? Because I'm generally a very competent person. I mean, you deliver babies, right? So that's a really. That's a really big, highly skilled, very important job. And so the confidence that it's going to be easy in the future, if that's what I'm focused on, and then it not. Like, what was that like for you? That realization that, oh, this is harder than I expected.

[Podcast Guest]

Discouraging. Yeah, very discouraging. And, yeah, I spent some time, like you said, thinking, what's wrong with me? Why can't I do this? I do so many other things. Why can't I do this?

[Dana K. White]

You do so many other things, and you legitimately did have the challenge of, I'm assuming, with labor, you know, if that you were bringing babies into the world. That's not a schedule that you can predict.

[Podcast Guest]

Right, Right.

[Dana K. White]

So, you know, it's. It's like there were legitimate challenges, and yet it seems like, oh, then there were other challenges that I didn't even realize. So I think that's important to. I know. For me, it was very helpful to find out I wasn't alone, to realize that this is a more normal than we ever imagine among, like, otherwise very driven, successful, you know, women. Okay, well, tell me something else that's working well for you.

[Podcast Guest]

So what worked really well was the Take it there now. When you say take it there now. So I was actually working up in the attic, and I found a Fisher Price Farm toy, you know, with all the little farm pieces. But it was dirty and it was dusty, and I started to put it in a pile to say, oh, I'll clean this up. And then I said, no, wait a minute. I'm supposed to take it there now where if I wanted this. Oh, my grandson loves playing with farms. So instead of doing anything else in that room, I took it downstairs, I washed it, I got it all ready for him to play with, and he played with it, and I put it on his toy shelf where he plays with things. And it meant so much to me because this was his dad's toy, and then he got to play with it. And if I had just put it in a pile to clean it up, he might have outgrown it.

[Dana K. White]

Before I got to that. That's exactly what I was thinking as you were saying it, because I know that. Because I lived it, you know, like, I know that that is how that works. That makes me so happy. Like you really experienced.

[Podcast Guest]

Oh, gosh, it made me happy, too. It brings tears to my eyes even now because the opportunity would have been gone, and then I would have had this joy. And I said, would have had to say, oh, okay, I guess I'll wait for my great grandchildren.

[Dana K. White]

Yes, exactly. I know.

[Podcast Guest]

Instead. Instead, he played with it and played with it until he outgrew it. And that was about three years ago.

[Dana K. White]

Oh, that makes me happy.

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[Dana K. White]

So what are some of the things you want to talk about?

[Podcast Guest]

Well, I think, one, I've been thinking about this a lot because I have the opportunity to talk to you, right. And I started off wanting to talk about my guest room, but now I'm also thinking about my attic, which also serves as a guest room. And what the issues with both of those rooms. They're rooms that my children used to have, and I've done the easy stuff in those rooms. And so I go in there and I look around. There's no trash. There's no easy. And it's all decision, decision, decision. And I give up, you know, I. What? I look at that and then I just leave. Close the door. I can't. I can't make those decisions.

[Dana K. White]

So are they. Are they usable in their current state or are they.

[Podcast Guest]

They're usable. They're. They're very cluttered, but you can move stuff off the bed and someone can sleep there.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

I let family sleep there. Would I have a guest in that room? That would be a challenge.

[Dana K. White]

No, I think that's a great. That's kind of a great distinction for us to understand. Okay, so it sounds like you've done a great job at those first several steps. And are you walking in and saying, okay, what are the obvious donations? And you can't find any, and that's what shuts you down? Yes.

[Podcast Guest]

I walk in and I say, oh, I can't. I can't let go of this. This was my son's first toy. Oh, I don't want to. I can't make a decision about all these pictures. Yeah, I think. Or I can't get rid of this because blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Dana K. White]

Yeah. Okay, so if you walk in and look for obvious donations, remember that the step is to look for obvious donations. It is not to find obvious donations. Okay? And that's a distinction that's really important because that means that if you go in and you say, okay, what am I going to get rid of? What's some obvious donations? And your mind goes blank and you feel overwhelmed and you think, I can't. That's not failure. Because you did look for obvious donations. You did the step. The fact that you didn't find any is not failure. It's literally like, okay, then I know that there are no obvious donations. I can move to the next thing. Okay, So I think, you know, I did a podcast. I don't know, it's been a little while ago, but about how it's not possible to struggle with obvious donations. Like, it is possible, because if you're struggling, they're not obvious. The only reason that step is there is that if there are any, it's another opportunity to get stuff out without making any decisions. Okay, so if there aren't obvious donations, move to step four. And that means, like, you don't have to go, okay, which thing should be step four? It is. Literally every single thing is going to be step four. So you pick up your son's toy, his first toy, and he's an adult now, right? So, like, you pick this up and you ask yourself, if I was looking for this toy, where would I look for it first. So you're not. You're not trying to convince yourself to get rid of it because it's not an obvious donation. Like, we have no idea if it is. Like, you're not even predicting that I'm going through this as a way to get rid of this item. It is literally, if I was looking for my son's first toy, where would I look for it first? And it is literally whatever spot pops in your mind. So don't get hung up on the. Would I ever look for it? Because that's quite. That's the next question that we only ask if we can't answer the first one. Okay. And I know that a lot of times people are like, oh, I want to answer. I want to ask that second question first. And I'm like, which. The second question is, if I needed this item, would it ever occur to me they already had one? Which. Okay, if that helps you. I'm a big fan of whatever helps you move forward, but you're not moving forward. So we need to really dial in on what these questions are and why they're in the order that they're in. The reason I don't ask first, would I ever go looking for this item is that. That's the kind of stuff that shuts me down, right? Like, that's the kind of, like, you know what? It ever occurred to me that I already had this item. I'm like, I'm a forgetful person, and so I'm often surprised. I haven't thought about this toy in forever. But I'm looking at it right now, and if the first thing that you're asking me is, would you ever go looking for this? That feels like, you know, And I start, and it makes my brain spin out into. You know, I would. I would go look. I would go look. Okay? So I don't ask that first. Instead, the first question is, if I was looking for this item. We're not. We're not going, would I ever look? I'm literally saying, if I actually was looking for this item, where would I look for it first? Okay, so picture yourself holding your son's toy and answer that question. Okay? If you were like, oh, I know I have that toy, where's the first place where you would go look for it?

[Podcast Guest]

Up. Up in the attic on the shelves where it is.

[Dana K. White]

Okay, so that's fine if there's space there. Okay? So then you're gonna go with the next item, and then the next. And the first things I would start with would be the stuff that's on the bed that you have to move for. Because, you know, if. If that. If that toy is on a shelf, it is in an actual place, Right? The stuff that gets. Has to get moved off the bed.

[Podcast Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Dana K. White]

That's the stuff that doesn't actually have a home. The stuff that's in a pile on the floor or on a surface. Those are the things to start with. So you pick up one of those items first, and then it might be a. A matter of, oh, this item I would also look for on the shelf with that toy. Okay. So you walk to that shelf with the toy, and then you. Then you're making a decision where you're not saying, should I get rid of these things? You're saying, okay, this. I don't know. Can you name something that's on the bed?

[Podcast Guest]

Blankets.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

Extra. Extra blankets.

[Dana K. White]

If I was looking for an extra blanket, where would I look for it first? Let's say that that's the same spot as this toy. And then you have a different. You're looking at it differently because you're like, okay, does this extra blanket deserve space more than this toy? And I don't know the answer for that. That is up to you what the answer is, because that may be the thing that makes you realize, I actually don't need these extra blankets. I would rather keep this toy on the shelf in the room where he grew up, and now his kids stay there or play there or whatever. Like, that is more important to me than an extra blanket. Because realistically, my kids live nearby. They've got their own blankets. If for some reason we all needed to be here, we'd all, you know, like, those are the kind of things. But if you start with thinking, pick up this blanket. Do I need this blanket? Oh, what about this? What about this? What about this? Instead we're using the same space itself. Okay. Or you might go, you know what? We legitimately need extra blankets. This is something. And this is where I would look for it. And while I love this toy, we got to actually have the blank. You know what I mean? So it's. Either one is fine. Does that help?

[Podcast Guest]

Oh, that helps so much. Yes. Thinking about. And. And I've. I've heard you say this too, but thinking about picking up each item, saying, where would I look for it? I know that step, and yet I froze when I go into this room. So I feel like this might get me moving a little more.

[Dana K. White]

Well, that's the reason I have it in a process, is that it's so Normal to default to what we think decluttering means. And I. I have just. I. I've probably said this a lot in a lot of different places lately, but it's just hit me recently how normal it is to assume that decluttering means deciding this item is bad. And that's the problem if we think that's what I have to do. That's part of, like, that decision fatigue that. That you're anticipating feeling that's causing you to shut down. It's because you're like. It's because you're assuming that to declutter this room means deciding either the blanket is bad or this toy is bad or useless or, you know, something that doesn't des. Whatever. But instead, when we say, I'm not ever asking that. I'm literally never asking that, I'm saying, where would it look for it first? And is there room for it? And if there's not, does it deserve space more than the other thing? Because they're both good. It's how we deal with two good things. Equally good. Whatever. But the space is the space.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, that's really helpful. I think I can do that. At least that's a start. That's a place to start.

[Dana K. White]

Well, and I find it interesting, too, that you said, and I don't mean like interesting, I just mean, like, I think this is what happens with a lot of us. The item that you immediately went to was sentimental. And it always feels like sentimental needs a different system. Surely sentimental is different. Right? But also, you said it's on the shelf, like, so you. Your brain immediately went to the most cinema item, even though it actually does have a place where the focus in the beginning needs to be on the things that don't have a place. Right. Because we. We often think, well, I need to clear those shelves so I'll have room to put things. Except that some of these things that are floating, that don't have a space, those are the things that don't deserve, you know, to have a home. So it's like, start out on the things that are just floating around and don't actually have a home. And knowing where to start then kind of frees you from getting stuck on that. That other stuff. It's a real problem that teens are spending so much time on their phones and on social media that it's affecting their mental health. But the good news is that there is a solution. Gab has addressed the problem by doing something that no one else is doing. Their approach is called tech in steps with Gab's. Tech in steps approach. Kids get the right tech at the right time. From watches with GPS tracking to the perfect first phone with no Internet or social media to the teen phone with parent approved apps. It was stressful when our kids got their first phones. It was a lot of work to monitor them and keep them safe. Honestly, I wished we had a phone exactly like Gab that would only have the basics until they were ready for a little bit more. Bottom line, you don't have to give your kid a device that was intended for adults. Gab is a great option for them to stay socially connected without social media. Gab might be just the solution for your family and right now use our code to get the best deal on a kid's phone that will make parenting easier and give you more peace of mind. Visit g.com slob and use code Slob for an exclusive offer. That's Gab G A B B Aura Frame is the perfect Mother's Day gift to capture the chaos you put her through and the memories that came with it. My mom truly delights in each member of our family. She loves hearing about every last detail of the lives of her kids, her kids in law, her grandkids, and she adores seeing all of us show up on the Aura frame that I gave her a few years ago for Mother's Day. It is one of her favorite gifts ever. With an Aura Digital FR frame, you get free unlimited storage. Add as many photos and videos as you want. Preload them before it ships. Keep adding from anywhere, anytime. With the free Aura app, you can share your photos and videos effortlessly anywhere, anytime. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames named Number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts moms love by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get 25 off their best sellers selling Carver Mat Frame with Code Clean that's a U R A frames.com promo code clean Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is sponsored by Better Health. Life is a journey full of ups and downs. Some days are good, others feel overwhelming. It can feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the truth is no one has all of the answers. Having someone who will listen, understand and support you can make all the difference. At Better Help, you'll find therapists who work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us. They match you with a therapist using a short questionnaire identifying your needs and Preferences. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. Working with my better Health therapist was incredibly helpful. She helped me shift my perspective and gave me real strategies to work through some pretty daunting challenges. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] clean. That's better. H E L P.com clean

[Podcast Guest]

so a lot of the things that I'm looking at actually belong to the children. Okay. Or they. They've left them at the house. They're boxes of things that are important to the children. So what do I. Can you help me with that?

[Dana K. White]

Are they at an age where they have actually established homes?

[Podcast Guest]

Yes.

[Dana K. White]

Okay. I mean, at this point, I would still start with the things that don't have a home and giving those homes. And when you come to something that displaces something else, like, let's say it is the toy. Let's say it is their, you know, some item of theirs. Because you're like, I actually do need a place for my sewing machine because I actually do this thing, and that means I need to be able to put it away. And that means that my son's, you know, Hot wheels collection from 19 whatever, you know, needs to go. So go through that process and then say, hey, I'm decluttering and I need to clear this space for my sewing machine. Do you want this or do you want me to donate it? So it's. It's like using that same process to do that, which is different than, like, you know, when you're clearing out somebody's house, like, you know, your parents and you're cleaning out their house, and, like, everything has to go. It's different than that. Right. But it also kind of gives that. It's not just a matter of going in saying, oh, how do I still have these Hot Wheels? And then saying, do you want these Hot Wheels or not? And they're thinking, what's it hurting for those Hot Wheels to stay there? Right. You know, I mean, like, that's just normal. It's like, what I. They haven't thought about those Hot Wheels in forever, and it's coming out of nowhere, but to kind of be like, hey, I need a place for this, and this is where I need the sewing machine to go. So do you want them or do you want me to donate them? Because there's no room, and it just kind of takes the edge off. Not that we can Guarantee how they're going to respond. But so when you're saying attic, is that like a. I guess it's a. An actual finished attic. I think they.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, I took some pictures.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

And I can show you it's like a finished attic, but see how. See how much stuff is in there, which.

[Dana K. White]

That could be such a cool space.

[Podcast Guest]

Yes, it's going to be.

[Dana K. White]

I love that it's going to be.

[Podcast Guest]

Because you're helping me.

[Dana K. White]

Well, and I think, too, like, looking at the picture that you just showed, that's the bed right there at the edge of the picture.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. Yes.

[Dana K. White]

It looks like a lot of stuff just needs to leave. And so I think you're going to be surprised at the momentum that you build, though. Like, when you pick up the one item and you say, I'm going to either give it a home or it's going to go. I think you're going to build momentum and you're going to end up being like, oh, there were more. There were actually obvious things, but I was stuck and I couldn't get to the more. They weren't obvious yet, you know?

[Podcast Guest]

So right here, though, is all my photographs

[Dana K. White]

that do that last. I'm serious. Like, do it last. But then if you were to free that room up from the stuff, think that by the time you got to those photographs, you would have space to really enjoy the process of the photograph, of going through the photographs.

[Podcast Guest]

So this is really helpful because what I do is I go up there and the first thing I look at is all those photographs, and I go, oh, I can't do this, and I leave. So think having this idea that, oh, I'll do those last.

[Dana K. White]

Yeah.

[Podcast Guest]

Wow.

[Dana K. White]

Because they are, by definition, the most sentimental item and also the most overwhelming. So there's so much that you could do before you ever get to those. And by the time you get to them, you're going to be so excited about this room, and it's going to be so. Because I know that was a bit. So, you know, those who are listening. It was a big set of boxes full of photographs. Okay. That. That's very overwhelming. But by the time you get to that, there's all that other floor space is going to be clear like you do. You have. You might already have, or you might be able to put, like, a small table up there to be able to, like, really, you know, process those photographs and look through them and do what you're wanting to do. And that is going to be more. More possible, more enjoyable.

[Podcast Guest]

There is a t. See the desk.

[Dana K. White]

Yep. There's a table. I was guessing there was, but yeah, like, that's gonna. How much fun would it be to actually be able to go through the photographs on that desk?

[Podcast Guest]

On the desk? Yeah. Yeah.

[Dana K. White]

Function. Right. Like, that's, that's how you can do this functionally is like clear the surfaces, clear the, the floor. And, and that's, that becomes part of your goal, is to have a space where you can really go through those.

[Podcast Guest]

Okay, well, thank you.

[Dana K. White]

Do you have anything else you want to talk about?

[Podcast Guest]

Yes, I do have something else I want to talk about because I'm older and I can't lift what I used to be able to lift and do all the things. So as I'm clearing out the attic or this other little guest room, how do I move things that are too heavy for me to move? That stops me sometimes, too, you know, I think, oh, this dresser needs to move out of here. But then I can't do it. Yeah.

[Dana K. White]

Are you specifically. Have you experienced this roadblock in that place that you just showed me pictures of?

[Podcast Guest]

Yes.

[Dana K. White]

Okay, here's again, what I would say. There's a lot of other stuff that you could be dealing with. Right. And so I, There are boxes on top of the dresser, There are boxes near the dresser. And so it's like one box at a time, whatever you can do, because we don't want you to get injured. And so my, my, my advice is never going to be to push through. You can do it. I'm not going to do that. That's why I asked about the attic, because attics scare me. Like my decluttering coaches with virtual sessions, I tell them, don't do an attic in a virtual session, because I think people get distracted, and I'm so afraid of somebody falling through the roof unless it's a finished attic. Right. But the, there are so many other things. And I, I, I know that I say a lot. You know, if you get rid of a big piece of furniture, you make a big impact on a space. But if that piece of furniture is covered with a bunch of boxes, go ahead and deal with the boxes. Remember that better is good. Every little bit that's gone is going to make this space better, you know? And so focus on those surfaces and boxes and the things that you can do, because there's a couple things that are going to happen here. First of all, you're going to make huge progress. Okay. Just in the little bitty things that are not physically difficult for you to handle. But also, when you ask your Son or your grandkids or a friend or someone to help you move the big stuff, because you're going to need that when you ask them to do that. It's going to be a much less difficult process for them so that you're not asking them to do near as much. And also, and I have sons, and so I'm saying this as a mother, okay. And I also. My husband also am like, hey, I have this idea. I want this big thing moved. And they're very strong people. But also there's a, oh, here goes, mom, you know, oh, mom wants some big thing moved. Like, what? Why are we. What. You know how hard it is to get that out of the attic? I mean, you're laughing. I want to make sure people know that you're laughing, because that's reality. Right. But if they go up and they're picturing what the attic room used to look like, and they're thinking, oh, my goodness, we're gonna have to, like, move all those things aside. What kind of a difference is it going to make? That's just a storage dumping place anyway. But if they go up there and it's like, oh, all we have to do is move this. Oh, you legitimately have been working in here. You have been doing the thing that you've talked about. You know, like, it's a whole different thing to ask somebody to move a large piece of furniture in. In a. And it's just moving a large piece of furniture instead of shifting a bunch of stuff around. Yeah.

[Podcast Guest]

Oh, that is so helpful.

[Dana K. White]

Well, and it's also, like, I don't know. I. I totally get it. Like, I totally get that this big thing is my problem. This is what we're talking about when I say skip it. Skip the thing that stops you in your path and just keep on going with the things that you can do, because there's so many things that you can do physically.

[Podcast Guest]

Great. That's great. You know, that has become one of my mottos. Is that progress and only progress. And that has been very helpful for me, too. Just thinking, this is better. This is better. We're getting better.

[Dana K. White]

Yes. Well, and it sounds like you have made a lot of progress in a lot of places with that. And then. Then there are these specific rooms where it's like, oh, wait, what? But you do know what to do. And I think a lot of what we're doing here is just reminding you, oh, you do know what to do. And those same things apply even in these extra difficult areas.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. Part of the problem with the attic was where would you look for it first? Oh, the attic. Boom. Up it goes.

[Dana K. White]

But if the attic room is being. Is in the. The. The state that you want it to be in, that changes where you would look for it first. Which means there's a lot of stuff that got shoved up there over the years that you're like, you know what? There's no room for it. Actually, when I want to use the attic for the purpose that I'm wanting to use it for, there's not actually room for this item here where there was when I was just thinking of the attic as storage.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. Thank you.

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[Podcast Guest]

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[Dana K. White]

is there anything else you want to talk about?

[Podcast Guest]

Well, this is a big thing too.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

My mother in law recently passed away.

[Dana K. White]

I'm sorry.

[Podcast Guest]

Thank you. And her house. We are in charge of her house. So maybe that's a whole nother.

[Dana K. White]

No, I mean, let's talk about it. Where are you in this process?

[Podcast Guest]

Very recent.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Podcast Guest]

Oh, actually, so we went. Her house is about an hour away. We went there and I did do trash. I started with trash. And because she had had some health problems, there was trash and there's still is trash. So that has helped. That has helped a lot.

[Dana K. White]

Yeah, I, I, I would say. So your goal is to completely clean it out, to sell it. Is that the goal? Okay, so follow the process. You know, like it's so overwhelming that it's so easy to think, oh, dope. So I would really like before you ever distribute things, before you ever even send the texts of, hey, does anybody want this? I would go hard on trash. I would go hard on obvious donations. Like, you know what? This is something that you maybe know doesn't have any family sentimental, you know, value or whatever. Go ahead and get those things out of there. Go with anything that's easy that you do know for sure. This was, you know, such something that somebody said they wanted. Right. You know, like the easy stuff. Do that because that's going to help everybody who ends up kind of coming in to help the more you can.

[Podcast Guest]

Did you hear that?

[Dana K. White]

Yeah, that makes me happy.

[Podcast Guest]

My, my husband is getting up, so I'm gonna unplug my speed. Well, that, that won't help.

[Dana K. White]

No, you're fine, you're fine. We don't mind at all. No. So that is the, you know, like going hard on trash and donations because you're like, you already know that you can't just bring everything into your house. Like you have done so much work on your home that you know, and that's the reason you have extra fear of this, right. Is you're like, I can't bring that stuff into my house. So getting out everything that you already know does not need to come into your house. How many family. So you, you said you and your husband are in charge of this and then is it, is it just your children that things would go to one sibling?

[Podcast Guest]

One sibling.

[Dana K. White]

Okay. And has the one sibling let you know of anything that they particularly want?

[Podcast Guest]

Not, we're not quite there yet.

[Dana K. White]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's, you know, if you're, if it's so recent. But I would say as it becomes possible to have that conversation, that would be the thing before you even head in would be which, I mean always go in and throw away trash. Right. But, but be like, hey, is there anything you specifically know that you want just to kind of walk in and, and be able to do that? But yeah, I would get out all the obvious stuff first and then you start going through. And what I did with my in laws house was I would open up a cabinet and take a picture and Just say, does anybody want. And I sent it to the family group, text group and said, does anybody want anything that you see in here? And then I had, I said, you know, Allison, your spot is the corner over by here, and Emily, your spot is over here. Here. And, you know, so I had the different spots for things and I would imitate. That was my. Take it there now is. I would immediately take it to these spots which, as we worked in the house, we found tubs and things that we just went ahead and put there and, you know, put the stuff in.

[Podcast Guest]

Sure.

[Dana K. White]

But that, that's how. That was the best way that I found to work through it. But as much as you can do decision free so that you're not showing a picture of, you know, stuff that, you know, nobody wants. You know what I mean?

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah, the laundry detergent.

[Dana K. White]

Right, Right, exactly.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. Do you ever do estate sales or do you ever have after that?

[Dana K. White]

I think estate sales are a great option because somebody else does the. The work for you. Yeah, Like, I think. I think that's a great option because it prevents you from bringing everything into your house and procrastinating. Right. And thinking, oh, we'll deal with this later. It's like, you know what? Knowing that the estate sale people are going to come on this day means we have to get everything that we want out of there by this day. And that's always helpful, I believe.

[Podcast Guest]

Yeah. Okay.

[Dana K. White]

So I would ask around and see, like, we get personal recommendations on estate sale people who run that. And I know that there are probably people listening right now who were yelling at the podcast, saying they had a terrible experience. But I also know there are a lot of people who've had really great experiences. And so personal recommendation is the best way to go on that. And then, and then I do, you know, there comes a time where you may have to do the, the, you know, junk pickup for the. The last of the things. And, you know, most places have access to 1-800-got junk, but most places also have a lot of local people that do that type of stuff. So again, ask round is. Is the best way to go to get recommendation on that. So.

[Podcast Guest]

Well, thank you so much.

[Dana K. White]

Well, this has been really fun. You've had some great questions, and I think they're questions that a lot of people will find very relatable. I think these are questions that a lot of people have. So is there anything else you wanted to talk about?

[Podcast Guest]

I could talk to you forever. Same.

[Dana K. White]

This is really fun. No, this has been really fun. I appreciate it. Well, thanks again for being willing to come on. Tell me what you love about being a member of our Patreon community, our kindred spirits.

[Podcast Guest]

Well, when I signed up for Patreon, I had no idea what I was getting into.

[Dana K. White]

I really.

[Podcast Guest]

I really didn't quite know what it was, but I just knew that your method was working for me, and so maybe joining this would be helpful. And first of all, I love that I actually got to talk to you and do this and ask questions. I have been going to the Zoom groups, and I love hearing people's stories. I just. I love hearing the stories.

[Dana K. White]

It's so fun to just find out how amazing we are. I know. I know that sounds. But it's like, we have such amazing women occasionally. We've had some men, right? But like, such amazing women who are interesting and smart and accomplished and do all these things, and then just to have this common thing that we're all working on is so fun.

[Podcast Guest]

I agree. The people finally going to the Zoom and to the work along sessions and hearing what people are doing is so inspiring.

[Dana K. White]

It is, it is. There's. There's a lot of value in knowing that you're not alone in this struggle and desire to improve. Okay. Did you love that? That was so fun. I hope that you were inspired by that. And also, like, just. I just love us, right? Like, I love those of us who struggle in this area. We tend to be just pretty fun, great people. Anyway. I know. I'm just saying that at the end because I feel like we're the only ones left still listening.

[Podcast Guest]

Right.

[Dana K. White]

Anyway, if you are interested in becoming a member of our Patreon community, go to patreon.com A slob comes clean and learn more there about what to do and how to become a member. And I will talk to y' all next week. Okay, bye.