← podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
520: Feeling Sad After Decluttering, Decluttering During Divorce, and ADHD and Getting Started
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Hey, y', all, did you know that I train and certify decluttering coaches who can coach you through decluttering your home using my no Mess decluttering process? Go to declutteringcoaches.com to find one of my coaches near you if there isn't a coach near you yet. Most of my coaches also coach virtually, and we've added a first available virtual coach feature on the site. All coaches listed@declutteringcoaches.com are trained and certified by me. Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal desalobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about decluttering strategies that work for real people in real life, even people who don't like decluttering. I think I just changed that and I'm not sure why, but anyway, welcome. This is podcast number 5 20, and I think I'm going to call it Feeling Sad After Decluttering ADHD and Getting Started and More. So this is a recording of a live Q and A that I did on YouTube over the past year or so. And these are our substitute for our regular podcasts, which will return in August while I take the summer off. And these are going to be things that you've never heard before unless you also watch over on YouTube. So if you only listen to the podcast, it'll be new for you. Otherwise, it might be something you've heard before. But I like that we have this way to provide content for you because, you know, we used to just go dark in the summer, so. All right, here you go. Okay. Aaron says I'm on a decluttering journey. Was planning to move December 1st. Now it may be mid October. You know, it's late October right now. Anyway, not to make you panic, any tips for moving anything? Your words are gold to me. Okay, so my tips for moving, because you are in a time crunch, I'm assuming that you may mean that you're moving really quickly or are you talking about next October? I don't know. Number one tip is to make it as easy to trash or donate something as it is to pack it in a box. So as you are packing, then, oh, mid November. Okay, Aaron just corrected. As you're packing, have a trash bag right there with you and a donate box, a donatable donate box clearly marked donate so you don't have to go back through things. And remember, wait, what was the moving box? What was the donate box? As you are packing, it's as easy to stick something in the donate box or the trash as it is to pack it. It is so normal, especially in this time crunch, to think I don't have time to do any of that right now, so I'm just going to throw everything in a box. So making it as easy to donate is key there. The other thing I will say that made such a huge difference for me and has made a huge difference for others who've let me know that they've done it too is to. I know it's not fun to spend money, right? Like I know that we as clutter people are excessively frugal. I am too as well. Like I get it. As hard as it is to spend money, there is a lot of value in purchasing a set of boxes for the size of the house that you're moving into, not the one you're moving out of the one you're moving into. Purchase a set of books. U Haul has this, Amazon has this. And they, some of them are more specific like to this square footage. Some, some of them will say, this is for a three bedroom house. For those of us with clutter, we have packed more stuff than we should into whatever space we have right now. So just having a set of boxes that is your container, it is your limit. And knowing that this set of boxes is the limit to how much stuff I can take. Of course you can get more. But just knowing that this is a container helps naturally sort out the. No, no, this doesn't need to go. This doesn't need to go. This is worth putting in a container. This is not worth putting in a container. It just naturally helps with that. When I did that when we moved, I got a, I think it was the three bedroom house set of boxes. Even though we're moving into a four bedroom house. Because I was like, well, why not get rid of more, right? And I knew I could get more boxes if I needed it, but that was really helpful. I took those boxes, which are like different sizes and things, and then I went and with this package of boxes that I got, I went and distributed those throughout the house. So I was like, hey kids, you can each get two of this size box to get started. I was like, you can always come and get more. But I just kind of spread things out and said, okay, these are the boxes I'm going to use in the living room. These are the ones I'm going to use in the kitchen. And just having that visual of oh, I'm not going to have space in the Future house. I don't want to pack and move a million bajillion things I don't need. So I'm gonna put my favorite things in there first. That just so naturally sorts out favorite versus not favorite. Kim says, how do I organize my scrapbook collection? So I taught decluttering, not organizing. And yet decluttering is the way to get organized. Okay? So I'm going to come at this from a decluttering perspective, which means I don't give. Not that they're not great, right. And there's so many people who can give you great advice on this. I don't give, like, hey, buy this system or set up a whole closet, whatever. Instead I'm going to say, okay, how can we go through this and declutter now? Scrapbooks are things you put a lot of time into. They are things, you know, I don't know if we're talking about scrapbooks from when you were a kid and you collected everything, or the scrapbooks from the scrapbook time of life where, you know, everything was this elaborate, really cool page and artistic and all that. Whatever it is, the first step of the decluttering process is trash. And I know, I'm not saying that any of your scrapbooks are trash, but it is key to look through the collection just to see what's there and to see if there happens to be any trash. And what I mean by that is, let's say that you had a scrapbook for each of your kids each year of their life, right? And you had it like I was going to fill this whole thing. Well, if you go through the scrapbook, you, you and you say, of course I, there's no trash in here. Right? But I'm just going to look through and see if there's anything that immediately could, could go, you might find that, oh, as I went on and as they got to 5, 6, 7, 8 or whatever, this scrapbook that is this big, because I was just sure I would need this many pages. I only use this many pages. Right. And it gives yourself permission, first of all to look with zero commitment, but also to say, is there anything in here that would be very easy to get rid of? Not that you're necessarily going to throw those things in the trash. You might stick them in a donate box, depending on what kind of a thing it is and if it's reusable or valuable or whatever, but that process of non committal looking, right, like looking through and saying, is there anything in here that I could just reduce? Because it's so easy with scrapbook collection. Most highly sentimental thing that I have ever had in my entire life. And it takes up an entire, you know, huge bookshelf. Oh my goodness. And it just. Our brains fixate on how incredibly sentimental this is. So giving yourself permission to just look through and see if it's possible to reduce anything here. Again, I am not, I don't know if I said this already. I am not a scrapbook expert. I was not a scrapbooker. I started a few and I never really finished them. Right. So there are. You may be in a very different place on, on this subject, but still going through, giving yourself permission to look, see if there's anything that is easy to reduce and then going through and if, if some of this collection is things that were meant to be put in scrapbooks. Going through and see if there's any obvious donations from that. I know that I did go to a scrapbooking event one time with a friend and thought, I'm gonna start doing this thing. And I was like, well, there's so much there. And people were selling these pre made packets. Eventually over the years when I decluttered, I got rid of those pre made packets. It was painful, but I realized, oh, I have passed the time and the life in life, you know, so can you go through and see if there are any obvious things that you could donate that will just reduce it, make it a little bit less overwhelming and give you a better idea of what you need to deal with? And then ultimately it comes down to this is the space that I have where I would look for our scrapbooks. This is the size of that space. The size of that space determines how many and how much I can keep. And when I look, look at it that way and that space, it can't take up room that we need to actually be able to live our lives, our right now lives. Right? And so if this is the shelf or this is the shelving unit or this is the whole closet or whatever, then when I look at it that way, then it can help me see all right, I need to combine these two things or I need to go through and realize I'd rather have the pain pictures on this thing and I can, you know, really consolidate and get down there. But anyway, so I am not scrapbook person and I'm sure I showed all of my lack of scrapbook knowledge with what I just said. But use the process. Where is the summer gone, y'?
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All?
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I can't recommend Gab enough and right now use our code to get $25 off a kid's phone. That can make parenting easier and give you more peace of mind. Visit gab.com/slob and use code slob to save $25. That's Gab G A B B Any good food meal planning ideas? Absolutely. I I find a lot of value in meal planning services. There is a lot of value in meal planning services. Prepdish.com slab comes clean is they sponsor my podcast Hungry Root also does that. I also have they also sponsor my podcast. If you go to a slobkim.com sponsors I think you should be able to find like whatever codes that they are current right now with for my sponsors. But I also have a meal planning course. Okay so here is but beyond that it's a slog comes clean.com make dinner happen is my 14 days of meals based around pre cooking your proteins, your chicken and ground beef. You can do it with other things too but this will help you get that down. Okay, so what is what am I talking about? The number one meal planning food tip that I can give you is to pre cook your proteins pre cook chicken. What I do now is and I have a video here on YouTube a free video that explains how I do this. Also have one for the the ground beef. But I put chicken in a crock pot and I do more than we need and we have our first meal straight from the crock pot that we make and then whatever is left I will maybe use some that week for chicken salad and then I will freeze the rest and then in the future I can make anything that's sauce based or liquid based like a soup, a sauce, whatever. If I can make the sauce and Then put the chicken straight from frozen and pre cooked, pre cooked and then frozen straight into the sauce. Not to thaw out the chicken, but it thaws and warms in the sauce itself. Right? That's how you keep it from being rubbery and weird. Right? That makes meal prep so much faster, but it also eliminates a lot of the mess around cooking that makes me not want to cook right? Like, chicken. Super gross, y'. All. I have to brag on my kids for a minute. Can I do that? I'm not looking, but I'm assuming you're all going. Yes, Dana, go ahead. Both of my boys have been like, mom, I've had to explain to other guys how you have to be really careful when you're cooking chicken because you don't want to splash chicken juice, and that's salmonella and all that. And I was like, they listened. They listened. But anyway, they were talking about how they had to, like, teach other guys, explain to other guys the reality of dealing with raw chicken. So it makes me very proud as a mom that they were listening, even though they pretended to not be listening all those years and acted like I was making some big deal. And now they're the ones making a big deal, and it makes me so happy. But the reality of, like, dealing with raw chicken and. And the mess and the cleanup and the disinfecting and all that kind of stuff is a hassle. So if I can pre cook it and then have, you know, other meals that I can do super quickly in the future, that means I only had to make the mess one time, and then in the future, it's easier. Same thing with ground beef. With ground beef, it's different. Sealing with the grease, right? And draining off the grease and getting rid of the grease and blah, blah. If I cook my ground beef and then I put it in any kind of a sauce to both thaw and warm at the same time. So I'm not sticking it in the microwave to defrost it, which is what makes it right. Then it makes meals really fast, and it also reduces that mess because I'm only making the mess one time for the five meals that I'm making out of that, which then also keeps me from procrastinating on cooking. Okay? My daughter and her husband and two small children moved in with my husband and I. The amount of toys and gadgets have taken over my home. I want to get rid of so much, but they eventually want more kids. It all comes down to the container concept, right? Like, that's how I Answer the vast majority of questions. It all comes down to the container concept, meaning what space? Which I know, it's a challenge, right? It's a good challenge. You're probably very excited to have them there with you, but it's a challenge. What space is there that does not take up the room that they need for the ex that y' all need for the existing people who live in this house, right? Not the possible future children, but the what space do you have to devote to the things that you might need for future children to store and let that space determine how much of something you can store? Everybody living together is a challenge. So to meet that challenge, you go, okay, that means I don't have or they don't have. Nobody has the ability to store endless amounts of items that I might have had in the last house or that I might hope to have in the future house. The reality is this is the space that we have. This is the situation that we're in. And, and designating this being the space where we're going to store things for future children that you may not need right now means that it will help you naturally sort out these are the most important things to keep for possibly future children versus others. And also in a situation like this where it can be kind of awkward, right? It allows that space to be the hard line instead of you being the tough line maker, right? Like, this is the space that we have. And it might mean that you say, you know what? I'm going to clear out my scrapbooking supplies, right? You're not the same person that asked that question. But, you know, like, let's say you have a whole cabinet, a whole, a whole closet where you had all this scrapbooking stuff, you know, that you're like, someday I'm going to get back to that. I haven't done it a long time, but someday I might get back to that. And it's just very valuable to you, whatever. But you realize, okay, the situation that we're in is that we have a whole another family living here and we have a family who is growing and they're possibly going to be needing other. So that might be the thing that spurs you on to say, okay, I'm going to get rid of my scrap scrapbooking supplies to empty out that closet, to give them that closet to then let that closet be the boundary. Help make final steps in decluttering. Project Brain does great starting, but finishing is another story. Make sure that you are following my five step process. My five step process takes you all the way from pile or shoved full cabinet to completely and totally functional. Okay. You can get a copy of my five step process at aslab chemsclean.com 5F I V E so the, the final step is the container concept. It's implementing the container concept. The two parts of that step are, number one, consolidate. So at the point where you have gone through the first four steps and the only things left in this space are things that actually you would look for here, but there's still too much. What you're going to do is you're going to consolidate without pulling everything out. You put like items together. So let's say you're looking in and it's a kitchen space and you say, okay, here is a whisk.
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And oh, there's another whisk. I'm gonna put this one with the other one. Oh, there's another whisk. I'm gonna put that whisk there with it. I'm not pulling them out. I'm just moving them around within the space for the like items to be together. Oh, there's a wooden spoon. I'm going to put it with that. Wooden spoon. Oh, there's another wooden spoon. I'm going to put it with that. Oh, there's a wooden fork. Okay, I'm going to do that. Okay. And I'm going to put those items together. Just doing that is going to naturally reveal some obvious donations because as you pick up a whisk that you realize is the whisk you never use because you don't even like it before, you just thought, oh, it's a whisk and this is the place for whisk. So it didn't even register that it was an obvious donation. But because you're going through the process of consolidating, you are touching those items and it will naturally reveal some obvious donations. Also, once you get to where you realize I've got 17 wooden spoons all exactly alike, then that's a natural thing that makes you realize, I don't need 17 million 17 spoons. I can get rid of 12, whatever. And then if there's still too much after you've consolidated, put like items together. At that point, get rid of your least favorite things until you only have what will fit functionally in this space. If the space is still hard to get to things or hard to keep under control, keep getting rid of your least favorites until it functions well. All right, let's see. Have you ever felt like keeping home is easy? I know you've Said dishes aren't an automatic habit, and you still have to think about it. But does it ever get to a point where it's easy? Yes, I would say now it's easy. I still have to remind myself to do dishes, but it's easy because I have so much less stuff than I used to have that even when I am running around trying to get all the different things done and taking on too many things and writing books and all that kind of stuff and totally distracted, there's just so much less stuff that even if every single thing in my entire house is out of place, it's still not that overwhelming. Because first of all, there's so much less stuff. Second of all, everything actually does have a place, so that it's a matter of picking things up and putting it away. It's not explosion of stuff, which is what used to happen. And me going, I don't know what to do with all this stuff. I. I don't have to say that anymore. It's not true anymore. Right. And like, just for dishes, you said dishes are not an automatic habit. They're not an automatic habit for me anymore, but they don't overwhelm me because I have so many fewer dishes because I do the dishes every night or almost every night, then I trust myself to not need these endless amounts of dishes. And not having endless amounts of dishes means that even if we ever got to the point where every single dish was dirty, it wouldn't be days worth of work to do. It would be maybe two dishwasher loads, whatever. So, yes, but at this point, my house does not overwhelm me anymore. Let's see. I can never find things I need to work on. Okay, what you need to do is declutter. And as you declutter, you're going to run across some of these things. Every single thing that you run across that you don't have an exact place where you would have been able to say, I need to work on such and such, and I'm going to go and find it because I know exactly where it is. If, as you run across things which you have those things, because you're saying, I can never find things I need to work on, as you run across them, ask yourself, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? Not where would I know for a fact it's going to be? You're not asking that question. You're not asking where would it be. You are literally saying, because I don't know where this item should go, what is my instinct. I'm picturing myself needing this embroidery project and I know I've got that embroidery project. And you just, you know that feeling where you go, oh no. Oh, I'm gonna have to tear the whole house apart to find it. Oh, this drives me crazy that, you know that feeling. Where would you look for it first? At the beginning of what you assume is going to be tearing, tearing the house apart. Wherever that first place is, take it there right now. Give it space by taking something else out if there's not room for it there. Every time you do that and you give things a real home based on the instinct of where you would look for it first even if you weren't sure it was going to be there, you're going to start finding things in the first place where you look. I promise. There's so many people watching right now who can confirm what I just said. Every summer I do my best to unwind and make the most of every moment. Making decisions about what to wear is not part of my plan. I love having cool, comfy, versatile pieces in my wardrobe that I can wear on repeat with no decisions required. That's why I love Quint. Their essentials are made with premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. I have several summer dresses from Quint that I really, truly love. The organic cotton gauze tiered maxi dress is absolutely perfect for throwing on and looking put together while staying cool. The quality shows in every detail in every piece. 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I have an error. I have inherited. Can't say that word right now. Inherited a huge home full of mom and Grandma's stuff. Over 100 years worth. I am afraid of decluttering truly valuable items. How do I get over this feeling and finish letting it go? Go through the process. Use the five step process. Start in whatever space I recommend you start in a visible space. Right? You are, I'm guessing you're cleaning it out or have you moved in? I'm not sure. Whatever it is, a lot of stuff is going to have to leave. Right? Go through the process. Meaning start with trash. This is not you determining that something was highly valuable to your mom or your grandma is actually trash. That's not what I'm talking about with the trash step. The trash step is what is obviously trash to you. You don't have to think about it because there is trash. I guarantee it. Right? So you go and you look for trash and your brain starts to adjust because now you know what's in this space because you've looked at individual items and then go, okay, what do I already know to do with, you know, where do. What do I already know belongs somewhere in the house or somewhere in my house or whatever. You get that stuff out and then you go with what are the obvious things that I'm fine donating, right? Like I'm perfectly. Those are obvious donations, duh, donations. Like what can I get out? Those first three steps that are literally only dealing with the non emotional stuff that you know is not truly valuable. Doing those steps first is going to clarify what you actually have to deal with. It's going to build momentum, build confidence so that when you get to the stuff that is what you're thinking in your head. I know there's some stuff in there that's valuable. You're going to have experience and momentum to carry you through that. Okay? But even with that, use the same questions like we don't change the process for any situation. Go with the same process. How can I apply this process to exactly what I'm dealing with? So you pick up this item and you say, if I needed my grandmother's class ring from 1927. Where would I look for it first? You haven't had this in your house before, so you don't have a. But that's the reason we ask this question. It's not for stuff. We already know where it goes. It's literally for things that I have no idea. Something brand new in my house. I've never had this before. Where would I look for it first? I know I've got my grandmother's class ring. Where would I go looking for it? Okay, go to that place. See, is there room for it? If there's not, am I willing to get rid of something in order to keep this ring? That's what helps me see, does it actually have the value to me versus, oh, it's my grandmother's ring, it's valuable. Instead I go, no, is it valuable enough for me to give it space in my home? Which may mean get getting rid of something else. That really, really drills down on whether something is actually valuable to you. And, you know, if you can't think of where you would look for it, then you ask yourself, would I even go looking for it or is it not that valuable to me that I would remember that I had it right? So I'm going to donate it at that point, or sell it if you need to. And then the last step is the container concept, like the space that you're living in. If you're going to bring any of these things into your home, they have to be given a space. Otherwise your own space gets out of control or is harder to control. So you give it a space, and that helps you really determine, is this thing actually valuable to me, the container concept naturally helps me identify what is valuable. I am no longer just holding something up and asking, is it valuable? Instead, I'm saying, does it deserve space if it doesn't deserve space? That even though I may have said, well, it's a. It's a class ring, it's a. It's valuable. But if it doesn't actually deserve space enough for something else to leave, then I go, you know what? It's not as valuable as I thought. And that process will take you all the way through that. I'm trying to branch out from volunteering, decluttering to making some money from it in my community. How exciting. What steps should I take for first? So I think if you're volunteering, decluttering, if you are ready to make it a business and you want to say, like, hey, I'm trained and certified By Dana. Go to decluttering coaches.com. it is an investment for sure, because it's a business investment. You know, check out and see if maybe that's something that you would want to do. The other, you know, I would just say to you, because you could be listed on my site, and we have lots and lots of trainings there on how to build your business and how to build it in your community. But the number one thing is, you know, one of the things I was talking to my coaches in a training that I put out today was just about just the reality of you have to let people know. You have to let people know. I mean, like, nobody's gonna walk up and give you money if you haven't told them, hey, I'm doing something for money. All right? Poor chicken. Oh, yes, I love this idea. Shayna says, for chicken, I also buy rotisserie from Sam's and pull the meat from it for quick chicken meat. That's a great idea. That's a great. You know that Costco actually sells it. Already taken off of the chicken. How do you recommend still being productive when on short term bed rest? Extra light movement, taking it very easy, but don't want to lose all momentum during recovery. First of all, I want to say recovering is your job right now. And I know from when I had my hysterectomy, like, I overdid it in the beginning and like, I called it aggressive rest. Like, I had to force myself to do absolutely nothing and it was very hard. Right? It's like, so recovering is important. So whatever your doctor has told you to do, you need to actually do that. I will say as far as, like, if you are on bed rest, could this be a time where you have a bin of something that you could go through and just get rid of the trash? Just get rid of the obvious donations? You know, if you're not able to move around and take things to their home, if you could take a bin, like maybe it's a what people call doom boxes that's been in your garage forever and somebody could bring it to you and you could go through that and say, I'm just going to get rid of the trash and the obvious donations. If it is a box you have not looked for, looked through in 10 years, you're probably going to find that almost all of it is a trash or obvious donation. But even if not all of it is, if you get rid of the trash and obvious donation, how much farther ahead are you going to be at some point where you go through and actually look through that. Okay, let's see. I have probably gotten rid of 60 to 70% of our things and it feels so good. But I haven't reached my clutter threshold. How long does that take? I'm a working mom with five kids eight years old and younger. Okay, so couple things here. You cannot predict your clutter threshold. You can only keep decluttering until you reach it. Like, you will realize, oh, I'm at my clutter threshold. So if you still aren't there, you need to keep decluttering. Other thing too is when you tell me you're a working mom with five kids eight years old and younger, that means your life is very busy, very full. That is just there's no way around it with five kids eight years and younger. Right. So because of that, at this current stage of your life, it's possible that your clutter threshold is going to be lower than it ever would have been or was at other times in your life or might be in the future. So it's that embracing the fact that right now things are a challenge. And so I am going to, I'm going to go even more decluttered. Even more decluttered. Because life is extra full at this time. So. But the only way to actually find it is to keep going. All right, let's see. Oh, this is somebody who'd asked a question earlier. I came up with a question I should explain. The house is 80% done, but the motivation to work on garage and storage closets is hard to get there. Thanks to you. Things are always either in place number one or two when we are looking. So remember that with the five step process, you do not have to set a certain amount of time aside. And so I would encourage you to play with that. Meaning it, you know, it can feel like. And I know weather and things, especially with garage, have garages and cleaning out garages have a lot of impact. But in it, it's very hard to kind of get out of the mindset of, oh, that big closet. I need to declutter. I've got to set aside X amount of time instead to say, you know what, for today, I'm gonna see what I can do in five minutes on that closet. I'm gonna, I'm set the timer for five minutes, 15 minutes, whatever. I want to do whatever time. And I'm not going to rush. When I use timers, I'm not using them to rush, rush, rush. Okay? I am using them just to say, I'm gonna see what I can do. In this amount of time, I'm gonna grab my black trash bag, my recycling bin, if I've already got it, and I'm just gonna throw away trash in whatever this big space is and see what happens. In five minutes. I'm gonna take a picture before throw away trash for five minutes, I'm gonna take another picture. That will change this mindset on, oh, five minutes is so worth my time. Which then gets you out of the mindset of I've got to set aside this huge amount of time. Let's see. I love it. Jenny says I validate what she's saying completely. A full house put away is so much easier now that I have. Now that things have a place and I'm done. Stuff shifting, stuff shuffling. I still have to do the things. It's just much easier now. Absolutely. I love it so much when I am looking for something that I know I put away. Oh, this is not a question, but I'm going to read it anyway. When I'm looking for something that I know I put away, I ask myself where I would look for it first. It is actually there. I love this. Yes. So many times just ask yourself the same question, like, where would I look for this first? Even though I'm technically looking for it right now, where would I look for it first? And if you're going on instinct most of the time, it's going to be the same answer. How to begin decluttering when you have ADHD and terrible at starting and sticking with things? Follow the no mess process. I. It has been endorsed by experts in the field of adhd. I'm not an expert in the field of adhd, but I am told by so many people. I was going to say bajillions, but then someone might take that as an actual number and. But by so many people. This is the method that works for me because I have adhd. Because the starting and sticking with things. Here's. Here's my philosophy on that. I also have trouble starting and sticking with things. I used to think that the answer to doing something that I have previously had trouble starting and sticking with was to psych myself up to, okay, last time I fizzled. So this time I've got to really get so much energy to get going and so that I can't fizzle. I've got to do it. I've got to do it. I've got to change who I am, change how I operate. Instead, when I started doing things in a way that embraced the fact that I have trouble sticking with things and I said, okay, then I'm because I have the tendency to start a decluttering project and then feel overwhelmed and shut down or just lose focus. Whatever. I'm not going to start it in the way that I used to. Instead, I'm going to do this in a way where I go one item at a time. Decision final decision by final decision, acting on that final decision, I can stop at any time and this space will be better. Make your goal to make the space better. I highly recommend that you read Decluttering at the Speed of Life, which is one of my books. Read that one. If you, you know, if money is an issue, most libraries carry it in all the formats like physical copy, ebook, audiobook. If your library doesn't have it, request that they get it. A lot of times they'll give the first person to request it, you know, first dibs when it comes in. That will totally change your mindset around how to declutter.
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You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some question questions and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings by $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary with no fees or minimums on checking accounts. It's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com bank capital1NA member FDIC.
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How do I stop procrastinating and try your process? Non committal experimentation. That means go to a slob chemist clean.com 5f I v e Get a copy of the Five Steps and say I'm just gonna try it. I have no idea this is gonna work. But I am just. I'm not saying I'm gonna do this forever. I'm just Gonna see how it goes. Non committal experimentation is, I believe, the key to stop procrastinating instead. Because you probably have like I have thought about this process. It makes sense to me. I think it would work. I just can't get get myself to do it. Start throwing away trash. Because by throwing away trash you will be trying the process just to see is that going to make an impact. She's probably wrong. I probably don't have trash. Yeah, just do that and take pictures. So every five minutes for the first little bit and go, oh, oh, oh, I get it now. All right. Got lots about procrastinating. How do I start and stop procrastinating ADHD so hard. I started on ebay, poshmark business and so overwhelmed by the time I clean, I still have clutter of things. I bought the process. So use my five step process again. Get decluttering at the speed of life. Get the printable of the five step process. I have videos here where I talk through every single step. Instead of thinking of the whole think of I am going to go to the most visible space in my house. I'm going to throw away trash. Obvious trash. If I have to agonize over whether it's trash. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm going to start with that. That gets you moving and it makes immediate progress because things are going straight into the trash bag or the recycling bin if you already have an established recycling routine. So that's immediate progress. That is really powerful in getting you to keep going. Are there extra questions to ask yourself when decluttering craft stash like will I make this project when my house is in better order? No, there are no extra questions. But this will come into play. Okay, there's no extra questions because asking myself will I make this project when my house is in better order doesn't actually solve the clutter problem. The way I solve the clutter problem is either to give something a home or get it out of my house. Okay? And giving it a home may mean get getting rid of something else in order for it there to be space for it to have a home. So instead of using these that as a question that plays into if I pick up this project, I'm going to ask myself the same old question. I would ask if I was picking up a sock, a box, a smoothie cup, a water bottle. Anything I pick up, I'm gonna ask the same question. If I needed this project, where would I look for it first? So I'm not going to come up with a new question. I'm just going to ask that, okay? And then I go, I have an answer. I would look for this project in if this space was cleaned up and put away, right? Like so. Not like, oh, on the floor, on the boat. I'm not gonna say that. That's not an answer. If this space would clean up, where would I look for it first? Okay, I would look for it first on that shelf right there. Well, once I get to that shelf right there, if that shelf is full, then I have to say, because I'm taking it there now. I say, okay, what am I willing to get rid of in order to make space for this project? That honestly, if my house was under control, I think I'd like to do this project. But I need to give it a home to get my house under control to be able to do a project anyway. So what in this space am I willing to get rid of in order to give space for this project? That is what's going to reveal to me without this angsty will I, won't I? What? I don't know what to do. Instead of that, it becomes obvious to me whether or not I would do this project. Because when I say that shelf is full, I'm not willing to get rid of any of that stuff for this, then I have naturally revealed, actually, this one's not that important to me. Or I say, what am I willing to get rid of? Oh, well, out of these two projects, this is the one that I'm not going to do. This is the one that deserves space, right? Like so go through the same process, but these things play into that, but they're not actually the questions I'm asking myself. I have a lot of boxes filled with a mix of junk, plus few valuable items which were thrown together when people suddenly came over to visit. Decluttering takes forever. Demotivating. Do you have advice? Yes, I have a video where I decluttered a doom box, which is basically what you're talking about. Like, it's a term that people started telling me and like didn't organize, only moved or something like that. Like I just threw stuff in a box. Go through my five step process in this box. Say, is there any trash? Okay, all right, get the trash out. If that's all you do, this box is better. It's going to be less overwhelming next time you deal with it. Okay, is there anything in here that I do know what to do with? Oh, okay, I'm going to go do that. Which if this was stuff that got Thrown in there before people came over. There's probably some things in there that you're like, oh, my word, I've looked for that thing 10 times. I know exactly where it's supposed to go. Are there any obvious donations in here? And you're just working your way through emptying the box. Which means that I'm never even going to have to do the fifth step, because the fifth step is organizing the space you're working on. And my goal is to just get this box out of here. So steps one through four, when I get to things that I don't know what to do with it, and it's not really trash, and it's not an obvious donation and all this. If I needed this item, where would I look for it first? And then I'm going to take it there now. And if I have. If this thing, these things have been in a box for 20 years. When I get to this space where I would look for it first, most likely there's six others of this item, right? And then I know I can get rid of it, but it helps me do that. Having the process helps so much on anything where you're overwhelmed. Sometimes I get sad after decluttering, even though I love the how feeling of my house being cleaner. And I don't miss the stuff. Does anyone else get sad for a day or two? If so, why? I don't know why. I am not a mental health professional and I don't have, you know. But here, here's the thing. I had to come to this point where I realized, you know what? The answer is not for me to not feel sad. I can feel sad. You just said you love the feeling of your house being cleaner. You don't miss the stuff. You can feel sad. Because feeling sad might be what you need to get through. But remind yourself in the sadness, this is sad. I miss that stuff. I really love the way it is now. I actually don't. You know what? I don't miss that step. What? Feel this feeling the sadness. Don't try to avoid feeling the sadness is what I'm trying to say. But again, talk to your mental health professional about this. But other thing I advise is to really, you know, if you feel sad, say, okay, what is it that I wanted to be able to do that I couldn't do when this clutter was there? And then put your energy and your time and your focus into doing that thing. And that for a lot of people, is very helpful for them. Ann says, I'm a clinical psychologist. Dana's five step process works. The books are great. Listen to them if reading is difficult. Thank you, Ann. I appreciate you saying sharing that. Let's see. How do I begin handling the decluttering of my own home during an almost three year divorce process? I'm sorry you're going through that. I. I'll soon have sole ownership of our family home. Guidance on approach while my three kids are at college. Yes, because you said, how do I begin handling? I'm gonna say start in the your own stuff and neutral spaces. Like especially if your kids are at college, you want a welcoming space when they come home. So start in those neutral spaces and give yourself permission to really zero in on the obvious trash and the obvious donations and the easy stuff because you are in a very emotionally difficult time in your life. Right. So really do those non emotional decision free things first and do them in visible areas. Right. That are going to benefit the ability to actually live in this space more easily. And that's going to take you far. And then as you do that, you'll get more and more ready and able to tackle the harder stuff as you go. I keep decluttering things and then finding that I need them later. Now my confidence is shot about what to get rid of. How can I make better choices? Are you following the process? Are you asking yourself where you would look for it first and then using that as your decision making as opposed to going, oh, will I ever need this? Oh, and then I answered that I won't ever need it. And then I ended up needing it. I don't ask myself that question. Instead I go with, where would I look for it first? That's a fact, right? Like it is a fact of an instinct. Where would I look for it first? And if I can't answer that question, then if I needed this item, would it ever occur to me that already had one? Yes, I might get rid of something that I end up needing. It's rare, but it does happen. But I go, you know what? I went with the facts I had at the time. Do I wish I would have kept it? Sure. But it helps me to focus on how functional my space is instead of focusing on what I wish I would have kept. I'm like, you know what? This is what it took. It took me making a couple of mistakes along the way in order for my space to be functional. Wow. It is easier for me to cook. It's easier for me to do my laundry. It's easier for me to put things away. It's easier to do all these different things. Therefore, I'm going to focus on that and say, you know what? Yes, I wish I would have kept that item. It's okay, because it was worth it. Because of the results of my home. People who do not have clutter in their home choose the possibility of regret over clutter. All right, here we go, y'. All. Y' all always have this question and Amy is answering it for us. I have been quietly decluttering using this method for a couple months now, and my hubby got a box and has started decluttering some of his hobby stuff. Stuff without prompting. She wrote without prompting in all capital letters, which means it's absolute truth. Right? See, I'm telling you, I can we guarantee that's going to happen. No, but even if he hadn't, how much better is your house because of all the decluttering that you've been doing? This is back to the we talked about the divorce. I want to figure out and create a vibe that is mine but can't fully act on it until the divorce is final. I know I can declutter in general while my three kids are in college. So vibe. I'm assuming you mean decorating style of the home. I had collected a lot of things thinking that I was collecting it for my vibe and my style, and yet my house was so cluttered that none of them actually gave off any vibes, if that's how I want to put it. So instead to say, I'm going to declutter now because that is what will then allow me give me the freedom and the space and the vision to figure out my vibe in the future. Because I can't figure out my vibe if there's clutter everywhere. Most important concept other than five steps, like awkward pauses. Pre made decisions, they're all important. Sounds like you know what they are. But. But yeah, like I would say, the pre made decision of basic habits around the house are really, really like if your house is overwhelming the first thing to do and you have tons of decluttering to do, first thing to do is do your dishes. Like that is a pre made decision. That is a decision that I figured it out, tried all the different ways and found out that if I will do the dishes every day, my kitchen stays under control and the house does not get completely out of control. And so doing those pre made decisions are incredibly powerful. So. Oh, my time's up. Okay, this has been fun and I should be here next week. I'm sorry that I haven't been here every week lately, but I hopefully will be back. Who knows? Who knows? And, oh, I'm gonna ask answer one more question. Do you find yourself, after many years of decluttering, that you feel like you might want less space? Less space is fine and great. I have a passionate love for empty space now. Like, I love empty space. I love the square footage with nothing in it. It just makes me happy. So, okay, I will talk to y' all next week. Bye.