Podcrushed x Alive with Steve Burns: “What Is Dying?” with Julie McFadden

Release Date: October 8, 2025
Featuring: Steve Burns (host), Julie McFadden (hospice & palliative care nurse)

Overview of the Episode

This special episode of Podcrushed features an introduction to Lemonada’s new podcast, Alive with Steve Burns. Known affectionately as “America’s bespectacled older brother” from Blue’s Clues, Steve Burns invites listeners into a new space focused on life’s most profound questions. In this featured episode, Steve examines the topic of dying—what happens as someone nears death, how we process it, and what a hospice nurse observes—through an honest and moving conversation with Julie McFadden, a hospice and palliative care nurse and author.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Steve’s Relationship to Death

• Personal Experience: Steve recounts how, following a persistent internet rumor about his own death that started early in his career, he was forced to confront the topic for years.

  “This was also when the internet was just beginning to Internet. So it was like millions of people online all telling me that I had died… And I actually would get into arguments with people on the street, like, arguing whether or not I was, in fact, alive.” —Steve Burns (04:19)

• Recent Losses: Reflects on losing his dog and his father, noting that “death is a fact of living” and why he wanted to openly discuss “What is dying?” on his podcast.

  “The inevitable fact of our death is the one certainty we hold while we're alive. And that got me thinking, why not confront that? … We're all dying while we're living.” —Steve Burns (06:33)

2. What Is Hospice and Palliative Care?

(Timestamp: 09:28–11:30)

• Julie’s Explanation:

  • Hospice: Contrary to common belief, hospice is not just about dying; it’s about living as fully as possible at the end of life, usually at home, aided by a multidisciplinary team.
  • Palliative Care: Focuses on symptom management for those with life-limiting or chronic illnesses, and Julie advocates it should be offered as soon as a diagnosis is made.

  “Hospice is about living… people die on hospice, but it is for people who want to live out the rest of their lives, you know, wherever that may be…” —Julie McFadden (09:39)

• System Barriers: Not all patients are referred to palliative care promptly due to lack of awareness among doctors and insurance hurdles.

3. Experiencing Death—Firsthand and as a Caregiver

(Timestamp: 11:30–13:22)

• Personal: Steve describes caring for his father during his declining days and the surreal feeling of witnessing someone present but unable to pinpoint the moment of death.

  “I knew he was there and I knew he was gone. But I never saw it happen… I couldn't identify the moment.” —Steve Burns (12:51)

• Julie’s Professional View:

  • There is no hard, visible line when a person dies; death is a gradual, physiological process.

4. The Body’s Wisdom: Dying Is a Built-In Process

(Timestamp: 13:14, 18:33–22:01)

• Biological Perspective:
  • “Our bodies are built to die,” Julie explains, describing the body’s natural transition towards death (for example, diminished hunger/thirst, increased sleepiness, the release of endorphins).
  • Interventions like pushing fluids may worsen patient comfort at the end of life.

  “When the body kind of knows… this is the end… your body will allow you to sleep all the time. And your hunger and thirst mechanism… shuts off… dehydration actually feels better than being hydrated.” —Julie McFadden (19:23–20:00) “Our bodies do all these things to, like, sort of comfort and accommodate our death when we're dying. That… does a little to make it less scary for me.” —Steve Burns (39:23)

5. We Die How We Live

(Timestamp: 21:57–24:14)

• Julie’s Observation: People tend to approach death with the same personality traits, relationships, and emotions they have lived with.

  “People die the way they lived.” —Julie McFadden (22:03)
  “If your family didn't have a great family dynamic, you're not going to suddenly have this amazing family dynamic just because someone's dying.” —Julie McFadden (22:32)

• Therapeutic Value of Conversation: Facing and talking about death—positively or negatively—enables a more peaceful end.

6. The Role of Presence, Regret, and Acceptance

• For Caregivers: Steve reflects on being present vs. trying to “fight back” through gadgets or interventions.

  “I do wish that I had been more present, because the moments where I was present with that were the most important moments I've ever had.” —Steve Burns (24:40)

7. Animals and Death

• Intuitive Knowledge:
  • Steve shares a poignant story where his dog seemingly recognized his father’s impending death and was present at the end.

  “The dog will know. And apparently just two hours before he passed, my dog woke up… and went over and nuzzled my dad's hand… and my dad, his hand woke up and pet my dog.” —Steve Burns (30:56)

  • Julie concurs, emphasizing she’s seen many animals sense a loved one’s passing.

8. Systemic Obstacles and the American Healthcare System

• Barriers to Compassionate Dying:
  • Julie passionately addresses the lack of 24/7 support for families in hospice at home, a resource almost exclusively for the wealthy.

  “In order to die well in America, you have to be rich. I get sad watching people try to die well in our health care system and it's nearly impossible.” —Julie McFadden (32:59)

• The Power of Planning:
  • Advance planning—having someone who knows your wishes—can help ease the experience for families, despite systemic shortcomings.

9. Easing Fear of Death

• Normalizing Fear:
  • Steve admits he’s more afraid of the dying process than the moment of death. Julie reassures him this is normal and shares three ways to ease fear:
  1. Acceptance: It’s okay and normal to fear death.
  2. Education: Learning about the dying process helps alleviate fear.
  3. Spiritual Belief (Personal): Julie shares her own sense of “homesickness”—a feeling that after death, there is a place more like home than here.

  “I feel like I've really been shown through other people's deaths… when I die, I'm going to wake up in a place that I've always known, and it's like, oh, my God, how'd I ever forget this?” —Julie McFadden (36:40–37:50)

• Birth and Death—A Continuity:
  • Julie describes a profound connection she senses between the awe of witnessing birth and the tenderness of being present at death.

  “That same homesick feeling… I get that same feeling when I see people take their last breath.” —Julie McFadden (37:49)

10. Final Reflections

• Steve shares that what impacted him most was “our bodies are built to die”—this knowledge brings him comfort.
• Both Steve and Julie highlight the message: If we die as we live, how should we live, knowing death is certain but timing is uncertain?

  “If we die, how we live, and we know we're gonna die, but we don't know when… How do we live?” —Steve Burns (39:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Our bodies are built to die.” —Julie McFadden (13:14)
• “People die the way they lived.” —Julie McFadden (22:03)
• “There’s mercy in that somewhere… That’s actually really amazing.” —Steve Burns on the biology of dying (20:24)
• “In order to die well in America, you have to be rich… it’s nearly impossible.” —Julie McFadden (32:59)
• “That same homesick feeling… I get that same feeling when I see people take their last breath.” —Julie McFadden (37:49)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Steve’s Introduction and Experience of Death: 03:20–09:18
• Hospice vs. Palliative Care Explained: 09:28–11:30
• Observations on the Moment of Death: 11:30–13:22
• Physiology & Biology of Dying: 13:14, 18:33–22:01
• “We Die How We Live”: 21:57–24:14
• Presence vs. Preparation as a Caregiver: 24:14–25:27
• Animals Intuiting Death: 30:34–32:07
• Healthcare Barriers & Systemic Issues: 32:07–34:36
• Easing Fear of Death & Continuity of Life: 35:07–38:26
• Final Reflections: 39:23–39:48

Summary in the Pod’s Tone

Alive with Steve Burns strikes a gentle, curious, and deeply empathetic tone, full of warmth and accessible honesty. Steve brings vulnerability (“I’m gonna die bald and neurotic, yes!”) and a touch of humor, while Julie’s practical yet compassionate perspective opens space for a seldom-heard but vital conversation. The episode leaves listeners with big, open-ended questions—but also, perhaps, a touch more comfort as they consider life, death, and the spaces in between.

If you found this conversation meaningful, you can catch new episodes of Alive with Steve Burns every Wednesday. Julie McFadden’s book, “Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully,” is available June 11.