PODCRUSHED — PAUL WESLEY (SEPTEMBER 10, 2025)
Episode Summary
Episode Overview
In this engaging and candid episode of Podcrushed, hosts Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, and Sophie Ansari welcome actor, director, and producer Paul Wesley. Best known for his transformative role as Stefan Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries, Wesley dives into his formative years, the complexities of finding identity as an immigrant kid, his early acting journey, and what it means to reinvent himself through iconic roles—including stepping into the shoes of Captain Kirk on Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. The conversation is rich with reflections on friendship, fame, heartbreak, and the lasting impact of adolescence.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Middle School Years and Family Dynamics
[07:09 - 14:25]
- Paul Wesley reflects warmly on his middle school years in New Jersey as a time when he felt accepted and found his friend group, contrasting them with a tougher and more isolating high school experience.
- “Middle school years were probably my best years in terms of just me feeling accepted… that all changed… high school was a lot harder.” (Paul Wesley, 07:15)
- Growing up the son of Polish immigrants, he recounts the challenge of blending his home life—where English wasn’t the first language and his parents had strong accents—with American culture.
- “My real name’s Papa Wasilevsky and my parents with these thick accents… there was a few kids that sort of began kind of taunting me a little bit.” (Paul Wesley, 10:04)
- Performing arts became an important outlet, offering escape and self-expression.
Sibling Shifts and Identity
[12:00 - 14:25]
- Wesley discusses the psychological impact of his mother having two more children when he was a pre-teen, and the odd mix of jealousy, resentment, and ultimately, acceptance.
- “It’s a bit embarrassing now to say this, but I was, like, pretty upset about it... suddenly there’s another... pretty upset about the fact that there was going to be a new baby.” (Paul Wesley, 13:24)
- Eventually, he finds joy and connection with his younger siblings.
Early Social Pressures, Masculinity, and Rebellion
[14:25 - 19:49]
- Paul shares insight into the rough-and-tumble culture of his New Jersey school experience, where “toughness” was the main social currency.
- “When it came to like, the hierarchy of being cool, it was who’s the toughest... who can kick whose ass?” (Paul Wesley, 14:52)
- He admits to overcompensating by lifting weights and even contemplating steroids, leading to frequent fights and behavioral issues.
- “We were lifting weights five times a day, and we formed our little crew... I was getting in a lot of trouble.” (Paul Wesley, 16:29)
The Turning Point: Arts, Acting, and New Horizons
[18:17 - 21:03]
- After being kicked out of multiple schools for fighting, Wesley finds solace in a New York City theater workshop, opening his eyes to broader possibilities.
- “I just remember like, discovering New York City, and I saw all these people that were interested in so many different things... and I just remember going to New York and being like, this is where I want to be.” (Paul Wesley, 18:17)
- His friendship with Ricky, another bullied kid, becomes a lifeline and comedic anchor, culminating in their move to New York, complete with Ricky’s Pomeranian.
Friendship & Formative Relationships
[26:07 - 27:35]
- Paul recalls his high school girlfriend and the heartbreak of ending a long relationship after making the leap into Hollywood.
- “I ended up like breaking up with her, and that was probably my first... my first heartbreak. So. It was difficult. It was difficult.” (Paul Wesley, 26:12)
The Leap from School Plays to Soap Operas
[28:28 - 32:27]
- Wesley outlines how his parents (initially hoping for a more traditional future) nudged him into modeling classes, which eventually led him to Ford Models, and, through a series of fortunate breaks, to his first acting agent.
- Notably, he lands a role on Guiding Light after memorably forgetting his line in a chemistry read and simply asking for his “line.”
- “During my chemistry read, I totally forgot my line. And I go, line. I don’t know what, like, I was like, line.” (Paul Wesley, 00:06/30:32)
- His first on-screen kiss, with Brittany Snow, becomes a funny personal anecdote.
- Notably, he lands a role on Guiding Light after memorably forgetting his line in a chemistry read and simply asking for his “line.”
The Grueling Audition Circuit & Landing The Vampire Diaries
[32:27 - 43:15]
- Paul talks about the relentless TV pilot season grind, auditioning for multiple roles (including unsuccessfully for The O.C.), and longing for his own “breakthrough show.”
- “I kept being like, God, when am I going to get my show that’s gonna hit the... zeitgeist?” (Paul Wesley, 32:28)
- Walks through the high-stakes, pressure-packed casting of The Vampire Diaries, including a cattle-call with 12 contenders for Stefan.
- “I remember being extraordinarily expensive at the time... but I did it. And the methodology was like... you’re creating new sort of neurological pathways.” (Paul Wesley, 36:56)
- Recalls his unique strategy in not introducing himself to co-star Nina Dobrev before their screen test to preserve real chemistry.
- “I had made a very conscious decision to not introduce myself and to completely ignore her... And I just looked away.” (Paul Wesley, 39:33)
Fame, Onset Relationships, and Growing Up in Public
[43:30 - 50:19]
- On initially rocky working chemistry with Nina Dobrev, which eventually grew into deep friendship:
- “We would butt heads... it was like, we would just get into these... but her and I are actual like, bros now... and we get along so well.” (Paul Wesley, 44:24/47:57)
- Paul reflects on the emotional and psychological complexity of sudden fame and the expectations that came with The Vampire Diaries, observing that his seriousness and rigidity softened with maturity and experience.
Deep Bonds & The Real Love Story: Ian Somerhalder
[57:47 - 60:07]
- Paul talks at length about his “brotherly” relationship with Ian Somerhalder, his on and off-screen co-star, co-founder of their bourbon company, and lifelong close friend.
- “Ian and I have always... We spent so much time together on set every single day for eight years and traveled the world together... I don’t even consider him a friend. He’s very much just family.” (Paul Wesley, 58:31)
- Adds that their real-life differences fueled both their chemistry and their business partnership.
Legacy, Reinvention, and Stepping into Captain Kirk
[61:39 - 66:57]
- Wesley describes the wisdom and challenges of taking on an iconic role in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, deciding to bring something new and “evolving” to Captain Kirk rather than imitate his predecessors.
- “Am I going to rewatch every episode of the original series and try to imitate what he did? Am I going to try to... but of course not. That would be idiotic... I decided to sort of do my own thing for better or for worse.” (Paul Wesley, 64:00)
- Discusses the optimistic, uniquely humanist vision of Star Trek and contrasts it to other franchises.
- “One of the things about Star Trek is that it envisions a future that has quite a bit of harmony.” (Paul Wesley, 62:43)
- Looks forward to the show’s final season and stepping more firmly into the iconic role of Kirk.
On Comedy, COVID, and Showing New Sides
[66:41 - 69:20]
- Paul enjoys (and craves more) comedic opportunities, noting a recent Star Trek episode parodying 1960s sci-fi.
- “I got to dabble a little bit in comedy... I would love to do more comedy because I think... A, I enjoy the hell out of it, but B, I think it would help people see a different version of me.” (Paul Wesley, 66:57)
Advice to His 12-Year-Old Self
[69:24 - 71:11]
- Wesley offers heartfelt advice, echoing themes of acceptance, perspective, and savoring the journey:
- “I spent…teenage years and twenties very angry, anxious…God, if I could have just enjoyed the ride a little more…particularly the things that made me different in my teenage years that I was upset about are exactly what made me who I am today.” (Paul Wesley, 69:31)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Admiring Billy Zane's Role in “Titanic”:
“The first one that comes to mind is Leo DiCaprio, Billy Zane and Kate Winslet. But that's not a triangle, right? It's not, because that's just a straight line—that is a straight fiery arrow.”
— Penn Badgley, [01:11] - On Middle School Belonging:
“Middle school years were probably my best years in terms of just me feeling accepted… that all changed… high school was a lot harder.”
— Paul Wesley, [07:15] - On Fame and Maturity:
“As the show grew in success and as I became more comfortable…the irony of the whole situation is…now we're such good friends…her and I are, like, actual, like, bros now.”
— Paul Wesley, [47:57] - About Nina Dobrev:
“We would butt heads…not about our personalities off screen. It was more on screen. The way in which she wanted to do a scene was not the way in which I wanted to do a scene.”
— Paul Wesley, [44:24] - On Becoming Captain Kirk:
“Am I going to rewatch every episode…of course not. That would be idiotic… I decided to sort of do my own thing for better or for worse.”
— Paul Wesley, [64:00] - Advice to His Younger Self:
“If you can just understand the bigger picture and enjoy it, that is probably the best advice I could give to my younger self…and hopefully to my future child.”
— Paul Wesley, [69:31] - The Real Love Story:
“Ian and I have always…traveled the world together…he’s very much just family…I know what he’s thinking. I know exactly what he’s gonna…finish his sentence for him.”
— Paul Wesley, [58:31]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [07:09] Paul describes daily life at 12, immigrant identity, and family background
- [14:25] On sibling shifts and high school struggles
- [16:29] Masculinity, “toughness,” and misguided adolescence
- [18:17] Secret theater classes, discovering NYC arts scene
- [26:07] First heartbreak and navigating young relationships
- [28:28] Path from modeling school to first acting roles
- [30:32] Memorable “line” moment at Guiding Light chemistry read
- [36:56] Unique audition methods and the psychological edge needed for casting
- [39:33] Meeting Nina Dobrev and preserving onscreen chemistry
- [44:24] Nina Dobrev relationship, tension-turned-friendship
- [58:31] The bond with Ian Somerhalder—family, not just a friend
- [64:00] Playing Captain Kirk, creative choices and pressure
- [69:31] Closing advice to his 12-year-old self
Tone & Style
Paul Wesley is self-effacing, honest, and thoughtful throughout, with frequent humor and deep moments of reflection. The hosts keep the energy lively, nostalgic, and intimate—like a candid conversation among friends, always circling back to the universal anxieties and discoveries of adolescence.
This episode is an essential listen for Vampire Diaries and Star Trek fans, aspiring actors, and anyone who’s ever felt out of place, offering wisdom, laughter, and heart.