[Rerun] Nina Dobrev

Summary

Podcrushed [Rerun]: Nina Dobrev (April 1, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of Podcrushed welcomes actor Nina Dobrev to reminisce about her tumultuous and transformative middle school years, her journey as a young immigrant, early ambitions in gymnastics, and the path to stardom through Degrassi and The Vampire Diaries. With hosts Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, and Sophie Ansari, the conversation navigates the fraught landscape of adolescence—awkwardness, insecurity, first crushes, and, ultimately, self-acceptance. Nina candidly discusses the immigrant experience, body image, pretty privilege, and how her upbringing shaped her resilience and perspective.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nina’s Immigrant Childhood: Bulgaria to Canada and Back

• Family Journey: Born in Bulgaria, Nina moved to Canada at age 2, only to return to Bulgaria at age 10, then back to Canada at 12. This frequent uprooting defined her early formative years and made her feel "destabilized but adventurous."

  • “[Moving back to Bulgaria] was very strange, fun, because it was like a new adventure. But also looking back, I now see how strange it must have been for my… formative years.” (07:31, Nina)

• Language & Education Barriers: Nina grew up speaking Bulgarian at home, but when she returned to Bulgaria, her language skills were "broken," and she was put back two school years to catch up.

  • “They bumped me back two years… which was really awkward and uncomfortable and weird... After school, I would have to go to tutoring to catch up.” (07:33, Nina)
  • “I definitely felt really stupid.” (07:51, Nina)

• Coming Back to Canada: Upon her return, she was "suddenly ahead" academically—except with her English. She reflects on the positive and negative sides of this shake-up, crediting her mother's spontaneity and wanderlust for turning challenge into adventure.

2. Gymnastics Dreams and Artistic Pivot

• Gymnastics: Nina competed in rhythmic gymnastics and was a substitute on the Canadian national team, humorously downplaying her status.

  • “I was a substitute. Emphasize the word substitute. Maybe if somebody dies, you can come in.” (11:53-12:18, Nina)

• Early Performing Arts: Her high energy led her parents to encourage hobbies, eventually kindling a passion for dance and acting. She attended a performing arts high school and began working with an on-camera acting coach, leading, in secret, to her first auditions.

• Parental Rules: Her immigrant parents set strict academic expectations—a weekly book report was the price of attending auditions.

  • “If I did that, then I was allowed to audition the following week. But if I didn’t, then I had to cancel all my auditions.” (16:48, Nina)

3. Navigating Identity, “Otherness,” and Confidence

• Feeling "Other": Despite Toronto's multiculturalism, Nina felt different because of language, economic status, and immigrant norms. She wanted to dress in new, American-style clothes instead of secondhand.

  • “I definitely wanted to fit in with all the other girls and shop at all these stores… I always felt like I didn’t.” (20:19, Nina)

• Body Image and Beauty: Nina challenges the "pretty privilege" stereotype, revealing her own insecurities about her appearance growing up (unibrow, braces, frizzy hair), and only later growing into her identity.

  • “I had a fucking unibrow. My teeth were really messed up… I wore braces for two years… I didn’t feel beautiful.” (23:19, Nina)
  • “Now I probably feel the most beautiful that I’ve ever felt because I feel most confident. I know who I am, or I’m trying to.” (25:28, Nina)

4. First Love, Heartbreak, & Humiliations (26:02–31:11)

• First Crush & Heartbreak: Nina recounts her first “mutual” love—a skater boy in ninth grade, her first heartbreak, and iconic sad song “Chasing Cars” as her breakup anthem.

  • “We dated for, I think, a year… He’s who I lost my virginity to… When it ended, it was the end of the world…” (27:58, Nina)
  • “I was in the car and just, like, crying so hard… listening to the song over and over again.” (29:49, Nina)

• Embarrassing Memories: Nina is “very clumsy,” has dislocated shoulders from gymnastics, weak ankles, and describes various pratfalls as part of her adolescent experience.

5. On Acting and The Vampire Diaries (34:22–37:39)

• Multi-Role Challenge: Nina played multiple characters in The Vampire Diaries—a demanding task both creatively and physically, often with no breaks between scenes where she acted opposite herself.
  • “It was physically very demanding, but also… the dream as an actor to get to play many things… I call it actor boot camp.” (36:01, Nina)
  • On shifting between characters: “I needed the hair to look different and the makeup and the way I walked. ... I unintentionally just stayed in that [character].” (36:39, Nina)

6. Evolving Understanding of Love (37:39–41:49)

• Therapy & Healthy Relationships: Only in recent years, with therapy starting just before the pandemic, did Nina realize her early dating patterns mirrored the dynamic with her older brother—gravitating towards those who were emotionally unavailable.
  • “My idea of love for a long time was… attracted to people that… wanted nothing to do with me.” (39:44, Nina)
  • “Just focusing on me… the right person will… be attracted to that because you’re being your most authentic self.” (40:50, Nina)

7. Family Ties and Her Mother's Influence (42:04–45:36)

• Mother as Inspiration: Nina’s mom is an artist who now runs painting and wine retreats in Europe; she’s described as a “ray of sunshine.”
  • “She’s just… so positive. She started this company where people go to France or Italy with her to paint… I call it spring break for adults.”
  • Her mother previously restored paintings in ancient churches; “she’s the person who goes in [to restore]… but obviously that doesn’t pay a lot.”

8. Managing Social Media & Public Scrutiny (46:12–49:59)

• Clapping Back with Grace: Nina is noted for her skill in reframing negative online comments with positivity or wit—addressing body image shaming and ageism directly but with empathy.
  • “Thank you for your concern… I do eat burgers and fries… Body shaming people… is not healthy and very rude. I don’t do that, so you should do the same.” (46:42–47:12, Nina)
  • “It’s a radical concept called time… People get older… Probably won’t happen to you because you seem to be different… but I’m proud of it.” (47:18, Nina)
  • On plastic surgery rumors: “Actually, no, she’s just aging… The sunken in eyelid theory is just a sign of aging.” (50:45, Nina recounting TikTok)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her gymnastics “substitute” status:
  “Maybe if somebody dies, you can come in.” (13:37, Nina Dobrev)

• On her adolescence:
  “I had a fucking unibrow. Am I just wear… At that point, I just didn’t know. Once I was made aware, then they went invisible… Then I over-plucked…” (23:19, Nina Dobrev)

• On first heartbreak:
  “When it ended, it was the end of the world, as you all remember I’m sure… At the time, it was like… I don’t know what I’m gonna do. My life’s over.” (28:56, Nina Dobrev)

• On social media age-shaming:
  “It’s what happens to people. We’re all… we all have the exact same outcome.” (48:07, Nina Dobrev)

• What she’d tell her 12-year-old self:
  “Embrace her cultural differences and not be so insecure… Who you are is enough… Now I celebrate that side of myself so much and… I’m so proud of who I am now.” (51:27, Nina Dobrev)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:26–02:25: Early introductions & Nina’s gymnastics background
• 06:11–09:43: Transitions between Bulgaria and Canada, language barriers
• 11:03–13:16: Gymnastics details, feeling like a “substitute”
• 13:37–16:48: Entry into performance arts, secret acting classes, parental expectations
• 18:45–20:44: Discussing “otherness,” immigrant experience in Toronto
• 23:19–25:28: Body image, “pretty privilege,” adolescence insecurities
• 26:17–31:11: First crush, heartbreak, embarrassing/clumsy moments
• 34:22–37:39: Acting on The Vampire Diaries; character work and craft
• 37:39–41:49: Therapy, love, relationship reflections
• 42:04–45:36: Mother’s career, family, home in France
• 46:12–49:59: Social media challenges, clapping back at negativity
• 51:27–52:29: Advice for her 12-year-old self—embracing uniqueness

---

Final Takeaway

This candid episode peels back the layers of teenage awkwardness, cultural adaptation, body image, and the pursuit of self-acceptance through the lens of Nina Dobrev’s international upbringing and career path. Her story is one of resilience, humor, and growth, making for a compelling and relatable listen—especially for anyone who has ever felt out of place. Nina’s reflections on media scrutiny and her evolving understanding of love add wisdom and humanity to her celebrity image.

---

Recommended for:
Fans of honest, vulnerable discussions about growing up, identity, and navigating public life; anyone who has experienced cultural displacement, insecurity, or the trials of adolescence.

Transcript

[Penn]

Today's episode of podcrust was recorded weeks prior to the SAG strike. Nina Dobrev is an actor. I am an actor. We stand in solidarity with our union and our fellow actors and with the Writers Guild. We mention a few projects not in promotion. We're not promoting them. We're reflecting. So anything that you hear is to be taken in that context.

[Nina Dobrev]

There's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group, sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute on the Canadian national.

[Sophie]

What?

[Nava]

That's pretty serious.

[Sophie]

It made it seem like it was just nothing.

[Nava]

Right.

[Nina Dobrev]

But I was a substitute.

[Sophie]

Substitute.

[Nina Dobrev]

Emphasize the word substitute.

[Penn]

Welcome to podcrushed. We're your hosts. I'm Penn.

[Nava]

I'm Nava.

[Sophie]

And I'm Sophie.

[Nina Dobrev]

And I think we would have been

[Sophie]

your middle school besties flinging tampons at the wa.

[Penn]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

[Sophie]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to PodCrushed.

[Penn]

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

[Nava]

Hello.

[Sophie]

So I have been having a lot of trouble getting dressed in the mornings.

[Penn]

I'm worried. What happened?

[Sophie]

There's a lot of things.

[Penn]

Did you hurt yourself?

[Sophie]

One of them is my growing bump. I'm pregnant.

[Penn]

Where? Oh, that's right. Yes.

[Nina Dobrev]

Oh, my God.

[Penn]

Congratulations.

[Sophie]

But along with that, this studio can. Can be quite cold. Sometimes it's quite warm. It's hard to gauge.

[Nava]

Right.

[Penn]

That's not. That's not our vibe.

[Sophie]

And this morning, I was having a lot of trouble. I put on a sweater that I just felt really comfy in, you know? And then I'm getting ready for the interview. My mom FaceTimes me.

[Nava]

Oh, no.

[Sophie]

We're chatting, and she's like, who are you interviewing? And I said, oh, Nina Dobrev. You probably don't know her. Just because my mom is sick in her 60s, right? And my mom's like, oh, no, I know her. I was like, okay. And she said, well, what are you wearing? And I was like, this? And she said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Nava]

Love, Helen.

[Sophie]

And I just said, I can't. And I hung up on her. I can't handle this right now. Then I went out to David and I told him the story, and he's like, I do kind of think you should change. I was like, great. So I changed out of the sweater. Not.

[Nava]

Yes, I have.

[Sophie]

My options are limited, people. It's the belly that's.

[Nava]

You know, I have to say that for a moment today I was running late because I was looking for my wallet, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, should I just not even bother wearing makeup because it's Nina Dobrev, like, who looks good. Like, I'm gonna look like trash anyway, next to her. But then I was like, well, let's give myself like a tiny, like a tiny little bit of help.

[Sophie]

Just a little confident so I don't

[Nava]

look like a zombie next to Nina, but wow.

[Sophie]

Anyway, my mom is going to be watching this episode carefully.

[Penn]

Does your mom watch.

[Sophie]

No, but she will watch this one.

[Penn]

Well, so you already know who it is. Outside of film and tv, Nina uses her presence to support causes like education, animal rights, and environmental sustainability. We loved having her on. We think you'll love listening, so don't you go anywhere.

[Julia Louis Dreyfus]

Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cyndi Lauper on Amazon Music. Cyndi may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years, she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon Music included with Prime.

[Nava]

Have you guys met before, by the way?

[Penn]

We must have.

[Nina Dobrev]

I would have been, you know, when I have this like, horrible disease where,

[Penn]

like where you're famous where.

[Nava]

And.

[Nina Dobrev]

And you. And you. Like, I know who you're famous, so I know your work. I've watched you, like, I've seen your. Yeah, so like. And then I've seen you probably at events but not talked to you. So it's one of those things where I'm like, I don't know if we actually did the hello, nice to meet you thing.

[Nava]

Were your shows on at the same time? Vampire Diaries?

[Penn]

Yeah, at some point. They definitely overlap.

[Nina Dobrev]

So I have a very core memory of, you know, my first season on Vampire Diaries, which was your guys second season on Gospel.

[Penn]

It was that early.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, and it was my first upfronts and I'm like shipped in from Canada. I've never done an upfronts. I've never.

[Penn]

So upfronts for. Upfronts for people who don't know which is gonna be most people I think is like, I don't even know that it's that much of a thing anym of streaming, but I think it is still. Yeah, there, there must be. But because the world is run by advertisers and where they want to spend their money, but basically you go to like a Madison Square Garden or something like that. It's a giant, giant, giant place. And all the people from all the shows on that. On the network, because networks are not as much of a thing now. But, you know, you go. You go up on stage and they show, like, a preview of your show, and then it's just like, you're there for the advertiser people who are going to potentially buy time on your show, like, for commercials. So that was a very boring explanation that I wish we could cut out.

[Sophie]

Are they asking you questions?

[Nina Dobrev]

Really? It's really weird.

[Penn]

The thing about it that is so distinct is that you have never felt more like a product in your life, you know, and you're just. And whatever, you know, you're trying to just get through it. But anyway, so you are at upfront's second season of Gossip Girl, first season of yours.

[Nina Dobrev]

Correct. And there's, like, a green room in the back. And I don't remember if. I'm sure you were there.

[Penn]

Maybe.

[Nina Dobrev]

I'm sure, like, everybody was there. Like, our whole cast was there.

[Penn]

So I would have been.

[Nava]

Huu.

[Penn]

No, no, that's not true. Just for the record.

[Nina Dobrev]

And we were all, like, shoved in this green room waiting to go on stage together. And I just remember being like, this is a lot. This is a lot. And this is so crazy. And, like, what's happening? Where am I? So, yeah, so we didn't cross paths too much, but that one time we were probably in the same room, but I don't think we talked to each other.

[Penn]

Yeah, well, for good reason. Thank you for coming.

[Nina Dobrev]

Thanks for having me.

[Penn]

So let's just jump back a little bit further. It sounds like you moved back to Bulgaria when you were 10, is that right?

[Nina Dobrev]

Correct.

[Penn]

Wow. And then a few years later, you came back to America.

[Nina Dobrev]

Correct.

[Penn]

So that means by about middle school, you had just been back. Like, do we call this home? Did it feel like home? Bulgaria?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. I feel like both were home in different ways because, yeah, those are the formative years. So I was born in Bulgaria, and then we immigrated to Canada when I was 2. So at the time time, I wouldn't have called it home in Bulgaria because I didn't really remember anything. But then when we went back when I was about 10, until I was 12, I was, you know. Yeah, those are very, like, I was very aware of those years, and it was very strange, fun, because it was like a new adventure. But also looking back, I now see how strange it must have been for my, you know, formative years to have gone through that.

[Sophie]

What was it like to return To Canada.

[Nina Dobrev]

So, you know, I spoke Bulgarian at home. My parents didn't let us speak English in the house. Wow. But then when I got to Bulgaria, I didn't. I realized that, like, it was very broken compared to everyone else. And because of the fact that, like, the European education system is just far ahead.

[Penn]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

They bumped me back two years.

[Penn]

Oh, wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

So I was going to school with kids two years younger than me. Wow. Which was really, obviously awkward and uncomfortable and weird, but they were sweet and, like, it was fine. But then after school, I would have to go to tutoring to, like, try to catch up.

[Penn]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

So I definitely felt really stupid.

[Penn]

Well, to me, that sounds really demoralizing and, like, frustrating. Yeah. Hard. Because it's like, this is not your first language anymore.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah.

[Penn]

You know, and I mean, that's. So that I feel like. That feels like it would be very. Yeah. Just, like, emotional one.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. It didn't feel great at the time. I remember feeling sort of less than compared to everyone. But then, I mean, I had the support. It's not like people were mean as far as I can remember, unless they were so mean that I blocked it out. And I'm actually traumatized by it. I don't know.

[Sophie]

There's a sweet spot.

[Penn]

What's the difference?

[Nava]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

Still have some therapy to do there, so we'll report back. But, you know, the weirder part or the. Maybe it balanced out because when I. To answer your original question, when I did eventually go back to Canada, everything I had learned now I was suddenly ahead compared to my peers in Canada.

[Penn]

Right.

[Nina Dobrev]

Minus the language part, but in terms of, like, what math they were doing and, like, all the subjects, like, they were doing, like, multiplication and division and all these crazy things and, like, kindergarten and first grade there. So. Yeah. So. So when I came back, I actually advanced. And so it. Then I was all of a sudden got my, like, confidence boost back up,

[Penn]

you know, right in. Right in time for junior high.

[Nina Dobrev]

But I sort of forgot English a little bit. Like, English was awkward for me because I hadn't practiced in so long. So then I had to not relearn English, but sort of, you know, kind of get used to it again and. And get used to seeing all my friends again. And, you know, it had been two years since I'd seen them, so.

[Penn]

So, I mean, that actually sounds like it was just many years of feeling a bit destabilized, for sure. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

But, you know, everything has a positive and a negative. Like, it was definitely destabilizing, looking back on it. But at the same time, I think in the moment, it was a fun adventure. Like I mentioned before, it was going to a new place and meeting new people. And my mom is very. You know, she's an artist, so she's very. What's the word I'm looking for? She's just spontaneous and up for whatever. And so she's sort of instilled that in me. And we'd go camping and do this and that, and like, everything was on a whim. And when you're in Europe, you can just go to other countries. Cause they're a couple hours away by car. And so we were just constantly moving around. And so I think that has permeated and affected and sort of bled into the rest of my life. Like, I almost feel uncomfortable sitting still for too long and being in one city for more than a week or two.

[Penn]

Right when Nina first got into the studio, I don't know if you guys heard it, but we were talking about New York City, where we live. And I asked you, have you ever lived here? And you had an interesting way of responding, which is like, sort of. And so I am now hearing the kind of background of, like, how mobile you've been and why, you know, how you can feel like you're in many places.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, for sure.

[Penn]

So also, what I think maybe people do not know about you. I didn't know about this until doing our research. You were very serious into gymnastics, is that correct?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, but not very serious.

[Penn]

The Internet sometimes magnifies things.

[Nina Dobrev]

No, for sure it does. But also, I mean, I loved it. It was rhythmic gymnastics, just to be specific. Because a lot of people, when they think of gymnastics, think of the Olympics and Gabby Douglas and, you know, all that. I didn't do that kind of gymnastics. I had, like, a ribbon and a hoop.

[Penn]

Okay.

[Nina Dobrev]

And the. And rhythmics, specifically. Is that. But then also there's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute on the Canadian national.

[Sophie]

What?

[Nava]

That's pretty serious.

[Sophie]

You made it seem like it was just nothing.

[Nina Dobrev]

Right. But I was a substitute. Emphasize the word substitute. I think I competed a few times, but not like, I wasn't like the it girl. Like, I wasn't going to the Olympics. I started kind of late.

[Penn]

Was there the possibility of Olympics?

[Nina Dobrev]

Not for me, really. No, I was.

[Penn]

But for that team, that was something that's.

[Nina Dobrev]

That happens. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. Two of the girls on the team. Cause there was like 10 of us, 12 of us. And I think the, it's been this, we're really going back in time. I should have done my own research for my own history. I don't remember how many women girls I guess were on at the same time. I think it's between 6 and 10 maybe or doing like a choreographed routine and then there was a couple substitutes. But maybe you should fact check that for me.

[Penn]

I don't think anybody's going to hold you to it.

[Sophie]

Yeah, don't worry.

[Nina Dobrev]

Maybe they canceled over this rhythmic and aesthetic gymnastics.

[Penn]

That's true, that's true.

[Nina Dobrev]

Community mind.

[Penn]

Now it's on me.

[Nina Dobrev]

Now it's on me. But yeah, so two of the girls were like did go to the Olympics for just rhythmic as individual athletes and I think she play. I mean I don't remember what she placed but she's. Yeah, she went pretty far.

[Penn]

But you didn't feel that kind of pressure I guess. Cause I'm trying to, you know. Trying to. It seemed like maybe it was part of you know, just like the makeup of your environment and like where you were coming from in or early in life. Like the. Cause you know, if you were seriously contending there, that's a huge, that's like a high stakes kind of high pressure thing. But it sounds like maybe you weren't, you were, you were almost there.

[Nina Dobrev]

I mean I think I was, I think it was a hobby at first, but I got pretty good pretty fast. And they were like, huh, this girl's like actually like they didn't. I sort of like came out of nowhere for them because I started at I think I was like eight or nine, maybe 10. No, I was probably nine. And for the gymnastics world that's like you're on your deathbed like so wild, you know what I mean? Like they started like four maybe. So nobody really considered that I would do anything with it. And then I sort of worked my way up and they're like, oh, you're good enough to be a substitute. Maybe if somebody dies you can come in. And so yeah, it was really fun and I loved it. But I think especially as I hit puberty and I had a little bit more big chested compared to the other girls. And it quickly was like, this isn't gonna be a long term thing. Plus the expiration date for that world is like 18.

[Penn]

Very, yeah, young.

[Nava]

What was the transition into discovering your sort of talents in other performing arts areas like acting?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, I mean I think that was sort of the start of it. I was also a very high energy child and my parents were Just kind of trying to shove me into whatever they could to sort of give themselves a break. Ye. But from there, from the gymnastics and the dancing, I realized that I liked doing that. So then I wanted to go to a performing arts high school. So I auditioned for the performing arts high school in my area, which was called Wexford Collegiate. I got in there and then gravitated more towards theater and dance. I can sing a little, but not really that well and not like Broadway esque singing. And so, yeah, from there it just sort of kind of happened. We had like a guest speaker come to the school for the drama class for the seniors and. Or not the seniors, just for like the drama class. And he was an on camera acting coach that did like a little seminar thing with us. And then from there, I don't remember if I approached him after the class or if he approached me, but I started taking classes with him afterwards and then he introduced me to my agent. Then I started doing auditions. And that's kind of how I remember being secretive about it though, because my parents were really strict and they didn't like, we lived in the suburbs of Toronto and. Oh God, I just sounded so foreign. Toronto, I live in the suburbs of Toronto. I've been away from home for too long. Toronto. And so yeah, we, you know, they didn't. They're immigrants. Like, they didn't. I don't have like any ties to the industry from my family, so they didn't really understand it. They didn't think it was serious. It was more of just like a yell at her, do it or like whatever thing. But then they started noticing that I'd be at home like running my lines for auditions instead of doing my homework.

[Nava]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

So then they imposed this rule that I'd have to read a book every week and every week I'd have to submit a book report to my parents.

[Nava]

Wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

And if I did that, then I was allowed to audition the following week. But if I didn't, then I had to like cancel all my auditions.

[Penn]

That's great.

[Sophie]

Yeah, that's hard to respect them.

[Penn]

Every home, whatever it is shaped like for a child actor should be that way, right?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, I mean, wow.

[Sophie]

And was your first role that you got in Degrassi? Because I saw your audition for that and it involved a lot of gymnastics. Like you had to do the splits. You did a back handspring maybe.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, it was one of the first ones for sure. But it was also, I think I first auditioned for a different character, if I remember correctly. Again, I might have early Onset Alzheimer's.

[Sophie]

I don't know.

[Nina Dobrev]

Just a little.

[Sophie]

It's a hard time to remember for a lot of.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. Also traumatizing. So like I said earlier, probably blocking a lot out.

[Penn]

But yeah, we're here to unlock it.

[Nina Dobrev]

I should have scheduled a therapy session after this, but, yeah, I think I auditioned for a different role and I didn't. Or maybe it had been Kat, I don't remember. But it was something. They were like, we're gonna maybe bring you in for something else, like create a character. Like, they liked me, but I didn't really fit for whatever it was. So then maybe that's when I did that role. And they wrote in the gymnastics. Cause they knew I could do gymnastics. I don't remember if that was. Was part of it. I could also be making all of this up.

[Penn]

At least some of it's true.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, something must be true. There must be a nugget in there of truth.

[Sophie]

Nina, I heard you say in another interview that you kind of had this feeling of being othered as a kid. Your family life didn't look so much like the family lives of the people around you in Toronto. And I wonder how that feeling has evolved for you over time. Do you still feel that way or have you kind of found, like, confidence in your own skin?

[Nina Dobrev]

100%. I feel much differently now than I did then. And it's so funny to look back, especially because Toronto is such a multicultural city and everyone is from somewhere else and no one. Like, there is no real norm. I guess there is, like the white Canadian norm, but for the most part, like, there's a lot of transplants. And so it's funny to me that I felt that way, but I definitely felt it like we. It's the cultural part of it that, you know, my parents didn't speak English. And also the fact that I don't want to say that we were struggling because every time I say that in an interview, my mom then later yells at me. She's like, we were fine. You're a little brat. But I think it was just comparing.

[Penn]

We were fine, Mom.

[Nina Dobrev]

We were fine. But, you know, I. I guess I was comparing myself to my peers. And so some. The circle that I ran and, you know, they had new clothes and, you know, they're. It just. We would shop at places where it would be like secondhand clothes or. I remember my first thing that I was like, one day I really just want to have, like a full closet of just like clothes that are. That no one's worn before was My goal as a kid, like, I remember being like, ugh. And, and now it's so funny because all I want is to wear vintage clothing.

[Penn]

Thrifting is even really popular with like, like my 14 year old. They all love to thrift. Yeah, they say it actually in a way that it's clearly very cool. I don't think it was when I was that age.

[Nina Dobrev]

No, I don't think it was either for me at least. Or at least that's how I perceived it. Like it's. So much of it is in your own head. And, and, but I definitely, I definitely wanted to fit in with like all the other girls and like shop at all these stores that were like, very American. I wanted American or Canadian and like very, you know, I always wanted to fit in and I just always felt like I didn't.

[Sophie]

And we'll be right back.

[Julia Louis Dreyfus]

Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor, and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get her take on it all. Wiser Than Me from Lemonade of Media is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Leah Greenberg]

Hey everyone, it's Leah Greenberg and Ezra Levin.

[Ezra Levin]

You might know us as two of the lead organizers of the no Kings protests. We're also the co founders of Indivisible, the grassroots movement organizing against Trump's regime.

[Leah Greenberg]

And this is what's the Plan? Your weekly guide to the state of our democracy and how we fight back. This is not canned talking points. It's a real live discussion space for the pro democracy movement. We wrestle with strategy together, we take your top voted questions in real time, and we talk about the most impactful actions we can take.

[Ezra Levin]

Right now, democracy is a participatory sport. The fascists win. When we sit on the sidelines. What's the Plan Is about how we get into the game.

[Leah Greenberg]

What's the plan?

[Sophie]

Available Friday, January 23rd.

[Nina Dobrev]

Wherever you get your podcast, subscribe, recruit,

[Ezra Levin]

discuss, organize and win. That's the plan.

[Nava]

Nina, I, I'm like trying to figure out how to ask this question without objectifying you. But you're so beautiful and you're the same as you did as a young age.

[Nina Dobrev]

So yeah, thank you.

[Nava]

So I always feel like when someone

[Penn]

says, put her on a pedestal and let's get on with the interview, I'll be here.

[Nava]

She's like cast for, you know, on the ground. Your character in Vampire Diary is like, famously beautiful. But so I always imagine that, like, when someone's, you know, that way that everyone wants to be around you. Is that sort of. Was that not your experience? Because people like to be around attractive people. Like, that's just a thing. You know, there's like pretty privilege and all that, so.

[Nina Dobrev]

Oh, I've never heard of that one. That's the new one for me. Yeah, pretty privilege. I mean, I get it. It makes sense. I've never heard that term. I don't know. I mean, look, there's. Being beautiful is objective and I don't think. I think you need to feel pretty to also. I don't know, I just didn't feel pretty for a really long time. And we're also speaking of formative teenage years. Like, we're not talking about the fact that, like, I had a unibrow.

[Penn]

So let's talk about it then.

[Nina Dobrev]

Let's talk about it. I had a fucking unibrow. Am I just wear.

[Sophie]

How long did you have a unibrow for?

[Nina Dobrev]

At what point did you ever have it? Definitely like grade six graduation was rocking the unibrow. Because I've seen the photos. Still have. But not like at that point. I just didn't know, you know, like, once I was made aware, then they went like, invisible. Then I over plucked them to a degree where like, you couldn't see them anymore. And we thought they'd never come back. And I had like a chubby phase. I had like, my teeth were really messed up, so I wore braces for two years with the elastic things that connect the top to the bottom. Like, I didn't feel beautiful. Yeah, like there was nothing. Like, I definitely grew into my confidence and learned how to, you know. Also I had really curly, frizzy hair. And so some of my girlfriends would come over once we started to like, care about how he looks. My girlfriends would come over in the mornings and we would take the clothing iron and a towel on the counter and like, iron our hair.

[Penn]

Oh, wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

With the cloth clothing iron. But it was awkward because, like, you can only go so far.

[Penn]

There's a line somebody's getting burning their face as well. Did anybody ever burn their faces?

[Nina Dobrev]

I don't think anyone luckily burnt their faces. Maybe our. Our arms. But there was like a distinct line. Like it would be like frizzy up until here and then stick straight through.

[Nava]

I hope you have a picture of this somewhere, Nina. It sounds amazing.

[Nina Dobrev]

I'M sure. I'm sure I do. But we thought our parents didn't know what we were doing. Like, they. That we'd, like, all come out with, like, perfectly straight hair. We thought we were being so subtle about it, but anyway. Yeah, so I definitely grew into understanding how to take care of myself and how I wanted to look and feel and. Yeah, I mean, I definitely. I'm not saying I was, like, a loser and had no friends in school. Like, I definitely had friends and bopped around different friend groups, but. Yeah. Does that answer your question? I don't know.

[Nava]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

And then obviously, with the show, like, once the show came out, you're being styled by wardrobe designers and you get a stylist and you do all these things. And as I've grown up, I've probably. Look, I'm in my 30s now, so, yeah, now I probably feel the most beautiful that I've ever felt because I feel most confident I know who I am, or I'm trying to. I'm getting closer to knowing who I am.

[Penn]

Yeah. Always getting closer.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. And. And, yeah. So it's just. It's a work in progress, for sure.

[Nava]

Nina, we have a couple questions we always ask everyone about middle school, and then we'll talk about your career. I'll just. I'll combine them. Do you remember your first love or crush and heartbreak? And do you have an embarrassing story from those years you could share with us?

[Nina Dobrev]

Okay, first, people don't name names, right?

[Nava]

Some people do.

[Penn]

Every time people do name names, I'm like, whoa. Actually, I. I would say it's almost 50. 50 some people. And when they do, they name first and last.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Penn]

And it's like, bang, bang.

[Nina Dobrev]

Well, you kind of don't forget your first.

[Nava]

Yeah, that's true.

[Nina Dobrev]

I don't now. I'm insecure.

[Nava]

No pressure, no pressure. Whatever you want to do, Nina.

[Nina Dobrev]

I don't think I should say a name for his sake, but. Yeah. Starts with an E and ends with

[Penn]

a D. And what does it rhyme with?

[Nina Dobrev]

Wait, it starts with.

[Sophie]

Is it Ed?

[Nina Dobrev]

No. That would be really funny.

[Nava]

That would have been.

[Nina Dobrev]

It's not. It's Ed Harris, actually. No. Yeah. So. So, yeah, I think I was 14, probably. I mean, I had a lot of, like. I think I'm in love with that, but it wasn't reciprocated kind of people before.

[Penn]

I love. I love. I have to say, I just love that. Like, it's so many. It tends to be women who are in touch who are still so. I mean, Nava and Sophie are great examples. You are still so in touch with that spirit. Cause, like, there's a. You all kind of tend to do this really funny thing, which is like,

[Ezra Levin]

I'm so in love.

[Penn]

And that is what it is. That's the feeling. But you just never see men say that at all. Like, at all. They don't at all. And so I'm just appreciating that for a moment. So sorry. So go on, go on.

[Nina Dobrev]

There was this boy in high. It was high school. I was in the ninth grade, which in the States you guys call that Freshman. Freshman.

[Nava]

Ye.

[Nina Dobrev]

As my freshman year. And he was like a skater boy.

[Penn]

See you later, boy.

[Nina Dobrev]

See you later, boy. Yeah, exactly. And it was the first time, I think it was, like, mutual. We were both really into each other. And he, like, smoked weed. He was super edgy and like. And I do. I have noticed, like, looking back, like, I did have, like, a very all American. Like, my type is like. Like, we were talking about, like, the all American thing because it's so different than what I am. He was, like, very all American looking. I don't remember. I think he played lacrosse.

[Penn]

Wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yep, yep. Very, you know.

[Penn]

Yeah, that's a cool one.

[Nina Dobrev]

Like every jock movie. And yeah, we dated for, I think, a year. If I'm not mistaken, he's who I lost my virginity to.

[Sophie]

Big, big love.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yes, yes. And then, you know, when it ended, it was the end of the world, as you all remember, I'm sure. And now I'm fine. I'm sure he's fine. But yeah, at the time, it was like, the end. Yeah, the end of the world. It was like, I can't believe it. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Like, my life's over. But yeah, I just remember. What was that song? Help me out here. Do you guys remember Grey's Anatomy? That one song?

[Nava]

The Chasing cars.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yes. That was so fast.

[Nava]

The iconic Grey's Anatomy song. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

So I think that song was, like, popular than Grey's Anatomy.

[Penn]

You're gonna have to. That's.

[Sophie]

No, I know. I've been rewatching Grey's Anatomy actually just

[Nina Dobrev]

recently, so I think it's so fun.

[Nava]

We'll do it all.

[Sophie]

That one.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sophie]

That one.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. So that one had just come out, and I don't even know if it related to the moment, but it was like a sad ish song. And I was in the car and just, like, crying so hard. Just like listening to the song over and over again. Pretty dangerous now, thinking, looking Back should have probably pulled over.

[Nava]

Couldn't see. That's really sweet, Nina. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah.

[Nava]

And then an embarrassing story, I think.

[Nina Dobrev]

Is that not embarrassing enough?

[Nava]

We have some people who like slipped in public, but if you don't have one, you don't have one.

[Penn]

I mean, did you ever slip in public?

[Nina Dobrev]

It's like all I do. I'm so clumsy. My friends. Like, I should be bubble wrapped is the truth of the matter. Yeah, I get hurt all the time. Walking is challenging for me in any kind of shoe. And then I just. I've noticed that, like, I get so into whatever conversation I'm having when I'm walking on the street talking to someone, I just. The rest of the world is gone.

[Penn]

Is that happening right now?

[Nina Dobrev]

Might be. And we're lucky that we're sitting. Like this is actually a very safe environment for me to be having a very intense conversation with. But yeah, no, I've run into poles and inanimate objects.

[Penn]

Oh, that's great. I like that. I mean, I'm sorry. I mean it in a. It's just. Yeah, it's unexpected.

[Nina Dobrev]

It.

[Nava]

It's very relatable. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

And I have weak ankles, so high heels and me do not mesh very well. Oh, actually I have a lot. We could just talk for the next hour. Just about my various one. So my shoulders dislocate pretty frequently. Same. It started in the gymnastics days.

[Penn]

Oh, geez.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, that's kind of why I had to stop.

[Penn]

You should get like workman's comp from that or something. I mean, it just feels like. I can imagine. There's a lot of former gymnasts who have that. Right?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. Well, I'm also like a double extend.

[Penn]

Oh, okay.

[Nina Dobrev]

So you're ok? I'm very bendy. And then on top of that, I wanna not think. I do have wood here. I've never broken a bone aside from my baby toe.

[Penn]

Me too. Same twice.

[Nina Dobrev]

Twice.

[Penn]

I have it right now.

[Nina Dobrev]

Oh, no, it's okay.

[Penn]

Right now. It's okay.

[Sophie]

I'm glad you're okay.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, but it's weird because I do crazy stupid shit all the time and I should have a lot more broken things. Oh, I forgot to knock. But yeah, no, just the baby broken toe. Other than that, everything like just bends and like my ligaments are destroyed. But like other than that, my shoulders constantly. And they dislocate at the most inconvenient times. Like I'll be. It's happened I can't tell you how many times snowboarding, but it just pops off in the Middle of, like, when I fall, it, like, shoulders out and I have to get somebody to put it back in. When I was doing. Oh, my God, it's so painful. It's so painful.

[Penn]

I've, of course, heard of this before, but the way you're describing it, I imagine like an action figure whose arm just falls off. Yeah. The way you're describing it is just like.

[Julia Louis Dreyfus]

Exactly.

[Penn]

And it's like, it's really out, and it.

[Nina Dobrev]

It's out and it just hangs there.

[Sophie]

The only way to do it, like, you can only do it yourself. Like someone else can't, right?

[Nina Dobrev]

No, no, no. You actually can't do it yourself. Somebody else has to do it for you. I mean, actually, no, I think you can, like, walk into a wall and, like, put it back in. But something has to, like. So usually what they do is, like, if Sean or whoever's physically next to me has to pull on my arm so that it comes out and then it realigns.

[Nava]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

The people that are watching on video will see the visual of that. But it happened right before I was about to go on air with Conan o'. Brien.

[Penn]

Is this the one where you did the whole Backbend D thing? Cause I think you were on more than once.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, I've been on more than. It was the. We did, like, a fight sequence, like a action movie fight sequence on air, live.

[Julia Louis Dreyfus]

That's crazy.

[Nina Dobrev]

And that sounds fun. While preparing and, like, practicing backstage, my shoulder fell out while I was, like, throwing a punch or something. I was like,

[Penn]

yeah, that's really charming. I mean, it's charming in the retell.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. Yeah. And not in the moment.

[Penn]

I'm sorry.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, it's okay. It's something I live with every day, and it's fine. It's part of my life.

[Sophie]

Nina, I think we're gonna move into talking about your career, and we have to bring up Vampire Diaries iconic. I watched it as a teenager. Loved it.

[Nina Dobrev]

Watch it and thank you.

[Sophie]

You played two characters.

[Nava]

Three, right?

[Sophie]

Three.

[Nina Dobrev]

Four, technically. Four characters, two main ones, and then four overall.

[Nava]

Yeah. Wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

Wow.

[Sophie]

What was that like? That must have been a challenge. How do you feel it affected your growth as an actor?

[Nina Dobrev]

It was. I'd say it affected my growth as a human, too, because, like I said, I was, like, slowly gaining my confidence. And when I got the show, I was Elena. And, you know, then when they introduced Katherine, I was, like, all of a sudden more like, you know, digging deeper into, like, my sexuality and, like, who I am as a person, because, like, Katherine was so sexual and and can't say I have a lot to relate to with Amara and the other one, but. Cause they were back in the olden days. But, yeah, no, it was definitely challenging just from a work perspective, from hours. I mean, Pen. You know, the hours on any TV show or movie, but especially. You guys. Shoot a lot at night for you.

[Penn]

No, not as much as you would think. The first season, we did with Marcus. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

He did Vampire.

[Penn]

Oh, that's. I remember. You know what? He has. He told me some. Not crazy stories or anything, but I'm remembering that now. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. So he. You know, especially in the first season and the second season, like, the hours are so long, and usually when you're in a show, you have scenes off and breaks, and when you're playing two characters in the same scene talking to each other, oh, my God, there's no breaks.

[Nava]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

So it was physically very demanding, but also kind of the dream as an actor to get to play many things is from a creative standpoint, it was really interesting. And I learned so much. I learned so, so, so much. I call it like actor boot camp.

[Nava]

Did you have any little rituals or anything you did to sort of switch between them? Cause I do. I'm not saying this to just compliment you, but I remember when I would watch it, thinking that you were better than most actors at playing two different parts. Usually when actors play two parts, I think it's the same person, but with you, I was like. I would forget that you were the same actress. Like, I would really think of them as different people. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

Oh, cool.

[Nava]

They were very different.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. For me, it was, like, a very physical thing. Like, I needed the hair to look different and the makeup and the way I walked. And, like, once I would transition into that, as they were, like, putting that all on me, I could. Like, that was the one little break. It'd be, like, 45 minutes where they'd switch me over, and it kind of gave me the time to sort of. And it was weird. I'm not a method person at all, I think. But in that moment when I was doing that, I think I had tendencies unintentionally, because I would notice that I'd. Like, when they'd call cut and I'd be talking to the crew or some of my friends, I would start to say cheekier things and just be a little bit more of, like, I just talk different, and I unintentionally just stayed in that. But, yeah, it's weird. It's hard. I don't know I think I needed to do that in that specific instance. But yeah, yeah, it's cool.

[Sophie]

How has your understanding of love evolved over the years? Is there anything you can tell us about love and what you've learned about it?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, I know

[Penn]

we've all tell us about love. Me and Deborah come.

[Nina Dobrev]

You know, I mean, I think it's funny. Cause I started going to therapy later than my peers. And so I feel like I'm learning a lot about love in the last. Probably since right before COVID or like Covid, because I finally had to be, like. Was forced to be in one place by myself and with my thoughts. And lo and behold, they were a lot. So I had to seek. I was like, I need to talk to somebody. This is a lot. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going crazy. And, you know, I've like, anyone from that first love that I was telling you about to where I am today. I mean, the first word that comes to mind is just healthier. And like, I remember it's so interesting. My therapist was talking about, like, comparing everyone focuses so much on the familial relationships, obviously with like, your parents and like, oh, you'll marry your father or your mother someday.

[Penn]

I've never heard that before.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, I'm sure you never heard that. But what was, like, especially poignant for me was that, like, nobody had talked to me yet about like, my. My. The sibling relationships. And then when I tracked back at the kinds of people that I was dating, like, I really was sort of like, the. The characteristics of my brother were more prevalent and the partners that I was attracted to that maybe wasn't necessarily that healthy. Because, like, my brother's five years older than me, aka like, way cooler than me, and wants nothing to do with me when you're a kid. And so. And my parents would always, like, force him to hang out with me and he wouldn't want to. So like, my idea of love for a long time was like, he's a

[Penn]

man who doesn't want to be around, basically.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. Be like, attracted to people that, like, wanted nothing to do with me. And so, I mean, obviously I'm. That's like a blanket statement. That's not all the men that I've been with. So I don't want this, like, speaking of clickbait.

[Nava]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

Let it be clear. I don't want people out there, all you journalists listening. Don't start, like, singling out individuals, because that's not. But, you know, but we'll cut that Part out in the past.

[Penn]

They're just gonna do what they're gonna do. I can't control them. I'm kidding.

[Nava]

I'm kidding.

[Nina Dobrev]

So, yeah. So, like, over the years, I. I just. I feel like, like healthier relationships are what. Is what I've learned to, like, gravitate towards and.

[Nava]

Yeah, you never wanted unhealthy relationships though, so.

[Nina Dobrev]

No, it wasn't intentional.

[Nava]

Yeah. So what helped you? I feel like I'm still learning a lot about how to attract and be attracted to health in relationships. What has helped you to be healthier or to like, be attracted to a healthy relationship? Like, sincerely, I would love to know.

[Nina Dobrev]

I mean, just honestly focusing on me, that's such a stereotypical thing to say. But like, not being so, like trying to. It goes back to like the fitting in, like trying to be the perfect person for someone else instead of trying to be the perfect person for myself. And then the perfect person, not that there is a perfect person, but the right person will. You'll be attracted to that kind of person because you're being your most authentic self. And I think I've had moments of that throughout the years where I've like, been that naturally. But then you obviously lose your way or you repeat patterns, or you end up being attracted to the kind of guys that are like your brother who wanted nothing to do with you. And so you chase instead of being chased. And so, yeah, I think once I had that conscious decision to sort of like, do me. Yeah, I found that I attracted the right kind of energy.

[Nava]

Nina. We had an intern shout out Tafaki who put together a lot of this research, and he wrote a really funny note, but he was convinced that Sean and your mom are best friends. So I just want to know, on behalf of Taki, weigh in. Are Sean and your mom best friends?

[Nina Dobrev]

They really do love each other.

[Penn]

So sweet.

[Nina Dobrev]

It's so cute. It's like, like my mom is. She's. It's so hard to describe unless you've met her, but she's just like a ray of sunshine.

[Penn]

She sounds amazing.

[Nina Dobrev]

She's so positive. Yeah, she's like an artist. And she's just. She lives in France. She started this company where, like, people go to France or Italy with her to paint and drink wine and eat cheese.

[Sophie]

Cool.

[Nava]

Wow.

[Nina Dobrev]

For 10 day vacations, I call it like adult summer camp or I call it like spring break for adults. Old people or old people. You have to be able to take 10 days off, have the means and the money to do that. And then also have an interest in

[Penn]

painting and a tolerance for lactose.

[Nina Dobrev]

Exactly, exactly. That's funny. Yeah. And so although, no, in Europe, you can kind of eat cheese. Even though that's true.

[Penn]

It's not. Why is everything better than ours?

[Nina Dobrev]

Everything's so much better. Can we do this podcast? If I ever come back and we do it in the, like, France.

[Nava]

She'll do that.

[Penn]

Hey, serious. Can we move the thing to Italy? Sure thing, Ben. We've got nothing but money that we're handing out to everybody.

[Nava]

They won't even give you anything but peanuts.

[Penn]

I know. They don't even have fucking bananas here. There's not a. We're in a banana desert. They don't even have them at CVS anymore.

[Nava]

Oh, my God.

[Penn]

What were we talking about?

[Nina Dobrev]

I don't remember.

[Nava]

Your mom and Sean.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yes. Yeah. So, like, we went to visit my mom in France and he got a taste of her little, like, slice of life, which was so. I mean, it's so simple, but it's so, like, great.

[Penn]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

He just bikes around everywhere and paints and, like, eats food and, I don't know, just like, very picturesque. She lives in this, like, beautiful medieval town. And so everything, literally.

[Penn]

There's not one thing I've heard about your mom that doesn't make me go. That doesn't make me lean in. In all of our research, which is, again, Tfaqi's research. I just want that to be clear. Anytime I say that I've researched anything, it's on a document.

[Sophie]

Well, I did listen to. I didn't get to finish it, but I did listen to your episode that you did with your brother on sibling revelry. And I think it was your brother that mentioned that your mom used to be. And she still maybe does a little bit of it on the side. She used to restore paintings that had been ruined, like, in, like, fires or.

[Penn]

Where does it end?

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah. That's so cool. That's a cool job. If we're being honest. That's kind of how it started. Wow. That's like her first love is like, she was obsessed with, like, you know when you go into a church, like century old church and everything.

[Penn]

Yeah. A lot of Americans don't, actually.

[Nina Dobrev]

No, Maybe Americans don't.

[Penn]

Only until recently. Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

But in Europe, there's like these. These incredibly old, beautiful churches. And so somebody over the years has to go in and like, fix them or they're extremely destroyed, and so you have to create it. So she studied art restoration and got her master's degree, and so she's the person who goes in, that's amazing. But obviously that doesn't pay a lot of money, so she had to pivot at a certain point. But yeah, on the side every now and then. If there's something that comes up, she can do it, but it's not her full time anymore. Yeah,

[Nava]

stick around. We'll be right back.

[Shan]

Only 18 states require sex ed to be medically accurate. And relationship classes. Let's fix that. I'm Shan, an ASEX certified sex educator with a master's in psych. And on my podcast, Lovers by Shan, we make learning about love as mind blowing as making it. Celebrities and fascinating people share an interesting, intimate story. Then we uncover the lesson for all of us. Watch Lovers by Shan from Lemonada Media on YouTube or listen wherever you like your podcast.

[Nava]

We have a final question to ask everyone, but I want to ask you a question before that, which is that you. You're super popular on social media. You have a huge following. You seem to keep your Instagram, like a pretty positive place. But I've noticed that you do kind of clap back sometimes when people make comments. I don't know if clapback's the right word. It seems like actually you reframe the comment. Like you do it in a positive comment. No, but she does it. She does it in a way that's actually very. Like you reframe the comment. I think it's really cool. And I was just curious, why do you do that? Why do you have any.

[Nina Dobrev]

Do you have any examples?

[Nava]

We do have examples, if I can.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah.

[Nava]

I'm gonna give you an example. Someone here commented about your body. I didn't see their comment, but you said. Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry to hear you weren't doing well. I hope that you're taking care of yourself and doing better now. I'll also let you know that I do eat burgers and fries and all kinds of yummy things all the time. You should do the same. Eating everything and working out, which I do, is the healthy solution for people who have problems. Body shaming people, on the other hand, is not healthy and very rude. I don't do that. So you should also do the same. Have a wonderful day.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yes.

[Penn]

See the same dignity I saw in the patient thief.

[Nava]

I saw that.

[Penn]

No, no.

[Nina Dobrev]

Her comments.

[Nava]

I want to read one more because I thought it was really well said. You said to the person, it's a radical concept called time. I know. Crazy. It's what happens when it goes by. People get older. It probably won't happen to you because you seem to be different than the rest of us, But I'm. And I'm proud of it. Have a lovely day.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah.

[Penn]

That's salty.

[Leah Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

I don't know. I mean, look, I was probably having a bad day and was also feeling a certain way, and they just, like, hit on a nerve, but at the same time. So, like, I got upset, and then I was like, wait, no, this is, like, this is a thing that happens, and it's gonna keep happening. And I remember seeing something from, like, Julia Roberts. Like, somebody said something mean about her aging, and I was just like. Like, it's what happens to people. We're all. We're all. We all have the exact same outcome.

[Penn]

So just death. Let's just remember.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah.

[Nava]

Thanks, Ben.

[Penn]

Just want to look around the room. Everybody in the eye. It's death. Yeah, you too. I don't care how old you are, you're gonna die.

[Nava]

I'm just looking at a baby right now. One of the staff members babies.

[Nina Dobrev]

And so, yeah, it was just like. I don't know. I think it was that. That the person said that I. That I've aged since the Vampire Diaries or, like, I don't look the same as I did when I was on the Vampire Diaries.

[Penn]

And I was like, that was 20 years ago.

[Nina Dobrev]

Well, it was like 10 years at that point.

[Penn]

But the 10 years is still.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, like, when I was 20, when I started. Of course I look different. And I. And I'm proud that I look different. I should look different. And I honestly think I look better now because I look like, I'm not as skinny as I wasn't. To add to the next question is, like, at one point, there was, like, a she's lost too much weight or she looks too skinny or something. And I was just like, I. I'm eating. I don't want to tell you. Like, I eat. I work out. I actually, like, love eating food. It's like, a big thing for me. I can't eat gluten or dairy, and that's frustrating. But you know what? Sometimes I still do eat it. I sometimes still go to McDonald's and have that Big Mac, even though it'll make my stomach hurt. Cause I'm like, I just fucking feel like it.

[Nava]

Yeah.

[Nina Dobrev]

And I'll deal with the consequences later. So, yeah, I wanted to, politely, in a very kind way, because I didn't want to perpetuate the, like, mean talking and be like, you suck. And you're like, there's no. That's not productive. It was just like, look like, think about what your comments are and be aware that there is another person on the other side of this. And, and we're not just robots that have no feelings. Like it does affect us. So.

[Sophie]

Yeah, yeah, I think for your question. Often I'll see people like on tick tock a lot people will comment something really negative.

[Nina Dobrev]

Oh, there was a trend. Speaking of tick tock, there was a trend that I had like plastic surgery or something. Like they were like, oh, she like did her eyelids and like there was like person that went on that was like a specialist that like talked about all the things I'd done to my face and I was like, what? So crazy. I was like, no, absolutely not. And then this other plastic surgery came on TikTok. No, I didn't comment, but someone sent this to me. I saw this. Another plastic surgeon. This is actually like not necessarily a great story because it's like a burn to me. But she debunked the person's theories about all the things I'd done to my face apparently. And she was like, actually now she's just aging. Like the sunken in eyelid theory is just a sign of aging.

[Penn]

Gravity.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, it's not like what you guys are saying. And I was like, yes, hold on a second.

[Sophie]

Yeah, I feel like I'll see. Sometimes someone will leave a negative comment and if the creator, whoever they were commenting on, writes back, all of a sudden it's like, oh my God. Sorry bestie didn't mean it.

[Nina Dobrev]

Love you.

[Sophie]

Yeah, you're doing amazing.

[Nina Dobrev]

I think they just expect that you won't see it.

[Nava]

Yeah,

[Penn]

we're taking a little bit of a turn here, back to where we started. If you could say, ask, do anything, your 12 year old self, you could go back. What would you say?

[Nina Dobrev]

I think I would tell her to not to embrace her cultural differences and not be so insecure about all that and just sort of. It's so hard. But like, like just be okay with who you are because who you are is enough. And you don't have to try to be all these different things because it's not like I was just so obsessed with not like being like everyone else and fitting in. And it's like now I celebrate that side of myself so much and I feel like it makes me unique. I have a different perspective and I'm so proud of who I am now. So. So I feel like I would just sort of maybe tell her what happens later in the future. Like this is what's gonna happen to you. You're gonna be good. Don't worry.

[Penn]

Just try to forget about it though.

[Nina Dobrev]

Yeah, just don't worry about everyone else and stop looking at everyone else. Just like, focus on yourself.

[Penn]

Thank you.

[Sophie]

Thank you so much. Nina.

[Penn]

Yeah, thank you for coming.

[Nava]

So nice to meet you.

[Nina Dobrev]

It was a pleasure meeting all of you. Thank.

[Stitcher Announcer]

Stitcher. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. You'll get ad free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better with David Duchovny, Me, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more. It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium.