Penn Badgley (0:02)

Lemonade. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Happy V Day. Right, Should I be saying the full word? Valentine's Day today we have a compilation. A lovey dovey compilation. A crushy washy comp. I don't even. I'm. I'm upset and bored with myself at the same time. But this is. This is a special episode where we have some of our favorite first crush and first heartbreak stories from guests over the years. And there it has been. Years. Can you believe it? So when we get back from the break that ad break that you love, I'm gonna pass the mic because it is heavier than the crown to Sophie and she is gonna take you through all of these lovely moments. En. I'm Hasan Minhaj, and I have been lying to you. I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast. Hasan Minhaj doesn't know to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask. People like Senator Elizabeth Warren. Is America too dumb for democracy? Outrageous. Parenting expert Dr. Becky. How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath? That's a good question. Listen to Hasan Minhaj doesn't know. From Lemonada Media, where wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone, I'm David Duchovny. Join me on my podcast Fail Better, where we use failure as a lens to reflect on the past and analyze the current moment. I speak with makers and performers like Rob Lowe, Rosie O'Donnell and Kenya Barris, as well as thinkers like Kara Swisher and Nate Silver to understand how both personal setbacks and larger forces impact our world. Listen to Fail Better wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, folks, Crush stories. Heartbreak stories. Peeing on doorsteps to break up with someone's stories. Let's get into it. Kicking things off. We have none other than the Emmy award winning actor, comedian, and friend of mine from our days at nyu, the hilarious IO debris. My first big crush was my friend. And literally I say his full name. His name was Bill. And it started in fifth grade at the end of school. At the end of the school year. Yeah, he origamied me a heart out of a dollar. And I saved it until I was like in high school, I think because I was like, he loves me. He origami me a dollar. A heart out of a dollar. Bill. This is literally my husband. And I was like, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna. This is it. We're locking it down. And then my friend Michelle was like, he's learning how to origami like, girl, get it together. He's just making shapes. Like, it's really not that serious. But he was like, my first big crush. And I was like, I'm gonna be Vietnamese now. Like, this is, like, mine. This is, like my husband. This is my life. Like, I need to prepare. And obviously nothing happened, but he was, like, my first big crush. I just thought he was the best. And then, I mean, how well did you know him, though? I'm curious. Cause often, you know, crushes are like, you don't really know him. Yeah. Yeah. Your voice went up. He was like, wait, are you telling the truth? Are you gonna tell the truth? Please. You need to hand it to me. I'm still in love with Bill. I catch the first flight to Boston. Humiliating. And honestly, knowing my friend, somebody will listen to this and somebody will tell. Hi, Bill. We talked a few months ago. My voice is getting so hot. Slide into her DMs, Bill. Slide into her DMs. So hot. Sweating. Honestly. Okay. We knew each other probably since 3rd or 4th grade. IO can I interrupt to just ask, what were you like once you realized you had those feelings? How did you act around those? Choice? In my head, I feel like I was very like, eh, whatever. I'm cool. I don't have crushes at all. Whatever. We're all friends. But then my first boyfriend was a guy that I went to church with. Oh. And he. Oh, my gosh. No. What happened is his brother asked me. Oh, yeah, that's classic. Yes. Classic. His brother asked me, and I was like, tell him I say yes. And then when we met in the night church, and we were like, okay, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. Bye. And I was, like, so religious and, like, so chaste. And I was like, I love our little courtship. Now we are 12 and 13, and we will be dating, and then we will get married, and that is when we will kiss. And then, like, three months later, he was like, yeah, so this other girl said she's gonna give me a kiss, so. And it was like, a girl that I kind of knew, and I was like, oh, yeah. Like, it's fine. Whatever. Like, I'm just one of the guys. Like, no big deal. And then. And then they dated, and then everybody's like, yeah, they're, like, making out. And I was like, oh, cool. That is really cool. I mean, we're laughing. I'm laughing. But at that age. At that age, I feel like that's at the level of, like, infidelity, betrayal. 100%. I was like, I have been cheated on. I have been wronged. And then I was like, whatever. I'm gonna listen to, like, Muse. I'm gonna listen to secular music. I'm so heartbroken. Oh, God, she is so funny. You know who else is so funny? Maybe too funny? Conan O'Brien. Well, there was this girl that I. In fifth grade that I had a huge crush on, and her first name was Lara, and I just was. I remember her last name, but I feel like if I out her, you know, she might say, you creep, and accuse me of stalking her, you know, 50 years later. But her name was Laura. But I remembered my skin temperature would change when she was around. You know what I mean? Like running water. You feel like you're running a little bit of a fever. And. And I don't think she ever really noticed me. And then I remembered she got a little gothy later on, which I thought was even cooler. But years later, I think when I was in college, she did not go to the same college, but I saw her once, like, at an outdoor cafe, and she said, oh, hey, Conan. And I was like, oh. Immediately, like, my voice frags. She's like, oh, Conan, your voice hasn't changed. But you're. You're 40. What's. What's going on? But I remembered very much being and not knowing what to do. And I was a late bloomer, so not having. I mean, I, you know, didn't start dating till later, and, you know, I was not. There were kids. I remember there were. There were kids when I was 12. When I was 12, I looked 8. When these other kids were 12, they had to shave, like, twice a day. And they were just confident in how they walked and with their bodies. And they had girlfriends. And you were like, what? How is that. How am I even the same species as that guy? He's my. And check. You're my. How old are you again? I'm 12. Me, too. Yeah, I'm 12, too. What do you share? I just saved 10 minutes ago. But you got a full beard. I know. Yeah. I gotta go drive a truck now. Drive a truck. You're 12. If you haven't heard that whole episode, you need to listen to it. But in the meantime, here's a clip from another episode. This is Jenna Ortega. I had my first crush, or I believe I had my first crush when I was maybe five. But I wasn't. I've never been again. I can be so awkward, and it can be so hard for me to make new friends or reach out to people that Even if I did have a crush, I would never speak to them. Matter of fact, I would avoid them because I had a crush on them. And if I looked at them, then they would immediately know that I was secretly in love with them and wrote about them when I went home in my diary. Classic. So I didn't really. When I was in middle school, I didn't date anyone or I didn't do anything. But I do remember one time I was speaking with a boy that I knew. He liked me. He kind of liked everyone. He was one of those guys. I know those guys. I can totally picture that guy. Looking back, I want to shake my head, but I was in seventh grade. I was sitting across from this guy, and we were just making jokes, and I started feeling really sick. So I put my head down kind of as I was reading. So I was reading kind of sideways, and he was asking me, man, how are you reading like that? There's no way that you're actually picking up the words on the page. And I said, no, I'm a huge reader. I do this all the time. He kept asking me questions, but I was getting more and more nauseous. I felt like I needed to close my eyes. He said something that kind of made me laugh. And I put my head up, and as soon as I came up, I felt my mouth start to water. Oh, no. And he asked me a question. I put my finger up, and my mouth started to fill with a certain kind of thick fluid. And I told him, I gave him the hand. I walked over to the trash can, and I projectile vomited the banana that I had for breakfast this morning and more. So, wait, is this all because of who you were talking to? Can we just get a confirmation there? I would like to make that connection. Yeah. It was so bad. It was that thing where everyone in the class goes, ooh, oh, I feel that it's visceral for me now, Jenna. Yeah, My teacher had me walk all the way to the principal's office, where the nurse's office was holding that trash can in my hand. Had a friend walk me, and I told her, I'm fine. I don't need to go home. And my mom was always kind of one of those parents who, if I got sick, it was still not a reason to miss school. It was like, okay, we'll just get it out in the morning, throw up in the morning, and then, oh, okay, you're good to go. So I was so embarrassed not only to want have to confront my mom when she picked me up and she was thinking, oh, man, why are you missing school? School? Or also to that boy that I was talking to followed me to the trash can and watched me from behind and, like, put a hand on my back and was super attentive during. That's very. That's very mature for like a 12 year old boy. What did he want? Yeah, he just wanted to be close. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. He held my hair back. I must be in love with him. Yeah. I feel like Nava can relate to this. Nava, don't you have, like a nausea thing? Like, or you had or is it have. Is it you didn't and now you. What I can most relate to is avoiding someone that I like. And, like, I mean, I've improved a little bit, but I think what Penn is talking about is, like, one time I had rehearsed with, like, a friend written down. Like, there was, like, a speech that I was gonna give this guy and then, like, set up the whole thing, went to dinner, and then every time I would try to, like, open my mouth, I felt like I was gonna throw up. And I ended up not. Not ever doing it. And then leaving him, like, a voice memo, which was much, much worse. Much more embarrassing. But I couldn't do it in person. I would get so nauseous. Aww. That. That was when I was 30. So not a child. Just so we're clear. Yeah. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you'll know that I was boy crazy when I was a middle schooler. So much so that my msn messenger password was boy crazy94. But as you'll see from our episode with Amy Schumer, I clearly wasn't the only one. I was boy crazy, like, since I was three. Like, I was so chasing the boys around, like, just wanting to hold hands. Like, I was just. And that really never let up. But I think what's so. What's so funny at that age is, you know, all your eggs could be in one basket. Like, I just feel like there was this one point when I was 13 where the guy I liked, the guy I was crazy about liked me back and was my boyfriend and the ecstasy of that and, like, him making me mixtapes and, like, it was just like, oh, my God. Like, I just couldn't believe it. And then he, like, I don't know what, but he. He was over it and didn't want to be together anymore. And, I mean, this probably was over the course of three weeks, you know, and rather than like, say, hey, I feel like we've grown apart. He pissed on my doorstep. We had an. Like an animal. We had an enclosed porch. And he peed. So the porch. So the pee was all over the porch. And, like, he was there with his friends. They were on their bikes and he did it. How old were you? I was 13. I was 13. Crap. And so it was like, whatever lessons that taught me, like, whatever that turned into my. It was just like, oh, okay. Trying to figure that out. And then. But then they'd be like, somebody else. Like this guy, like, Jack, whatever likes you. And it'd be like, oh, okay, cool. Like, I just feel like when I was talking to the girl, her name's Violet Young. She's amazing. Who plays Young? Me. She was like. We were just talking about the role, you know, and she's like, so I can't tell if, like, she has really low self esteem or really high self esteem. And I was like, well, that's the thing. Like, still to this day, I vacillate between extremely low self esteem and just delusions of absolute grandeur. It's like, that is still to this day and how it was then where I'd be, like, crushed and just feeling so unappealing. And then a second later be like, well, I might get back to him, but I don't really know, you know? Yeah. The elasticity of that time. Oh, my God. Yeah. And now Chris, like, my experience with finding, like, the person I wanted to, you know, have paperwork on it was like, it made every other relationship seem so ridiculous. Like that, you know, that I had considered that a relationship. There was no trying to get someone mentally to another place. Like, there was no, like, oh, I think in a couple weeks his mom's coming to town. I'm gonna see if he introduces me. Like, there was none of that. It was like we were also older. We were 37. And it was just like, we like the same stuff. We enjoy each other. We have our own lives as well. And it was. And so now love is like, I really. It's like such a support system. And. Yeah. Like, it's just so. It's so different. But it did. It just made me laugh at all the relationships I thought I had been in. That really resonates with me. Yeah, me too. The part about the pee. Too insane. Ugh. Okay, moving on. Up next is a story from the truly iconic actress Julia Louis Dreyfus, about the first time she touched a boy's shoulder when I was really little. Like, when I was in fifth Grade we took. I took a dance class, like a cotillion type of class, you know, And I remember the first time, and I think, you know, we were so young, fifth grade. I mean, like, they would have a break in the middle of this dance class where you learn the foxtrot or the, you know, the box. I don't know, whatever. And the boys, they would give us cookies and juice, and the boys would, like, spit ice at the girls. That was the way they flirted, if you can call it that. But I do remember the first time I in the class, I sort of touched a boy and I put my hand on his shoulder and my other hand in his hand, and I remember thinking, oh, wow, his shoulder feels like a regular shoulder. Oh, my gosh. That is really cute. Monster. Yeah. Like, he is a human being. He's another person. Just like me. Yeah, exactly. And I remember, I think it was at that same dance class that I was dancing with the boy once, and we were sort of spinning around doing some sort of whatever. The move was around and around. And all of a sudden he leans in and he just kisses me really quick. And then he sort of pulled back and he goes, who did that? Was that genuine? Like, that was not. He didn't know. I think it just came out of his mouth. I don't know. And I didn't even respond. Yeah, who did that? I absolutely loved this sweet story from Rainn Wilson. Check it out. I had a lot of crushes on cute girls through, like, you know, sixth and seventh and eighth grade, and. But I didn't, you know, again, I didn't really think anyone would want to have me as a boyfriend. I wasn't boyfriend material. I was. I was busy on the weekends as we've gone into, you know, you're a working man. Yeah. So. But then I had a few little dates here and there with some hand holdings. And then When I was 16, I had a girlfriend in Seattle, and she was the smartest girl in the school named Jill. And. But she was pretty. And we had a really nice time together. Very innocent relationship. And then when I went to Chicago, then I started to have more relationships. And that's when I got my heart broken. And one was this girl, Tria. And she was like, the first person I met at the high school, and I was just totally smitten with her. And then she was actually interested in me, and we went out for a while, and I was just. I was hooked. I mean, she was amazed. She was funny, and she played me Joni Mitchell records. And she played the piano and she danced, and I was just like, oh, my God. Joni Mitchell. That's. Yeah, that's formative right there. Right, right. And. And then she dumped me for John Sherman. There we were doing this play called Timeout for Ginger. So many kids tried out for it. They did two casts. We had rotating casts. So one night it was cast one, and then it was cast two, and the dad on cast one was me, and the dad in cast two was John Sherman. So she left, and she was assistant director, and she left me. John Sherman. Yeah. But here's what's funny. Tria and I are now, like, best friends. Wow. Did you reconnect or did you, like, always? We've always been in touch. That's great. And that's cool. And we're really close, and we talk all the time, and I'm close with her husband, and she's close with my wife, and. And I just, like. We just know each other really, really deeply. Was there a period of, like, intense rejection you felt after that you had to recover from? Here's how intense it was. I had never been dumped before, and, oh, my God, that is just the worst feeling in the world. I don't know why I did this, but I always used to throw my dirty clothes on the floor of my. This closet. And it was kind of those closets that had, like, accordion doors, so you can open the doors, and I would sleep on the. In my dirty clothes on the floor of the closet. Oh, great. During this period of rejection. Yeah. We were, like, literally, like, stewing in it. Yeah. And it was. I would do that for days at a time. I would close the closet, and I'd just be in there. It must have been a big closet. I mean, you said you were tall, right? It was six feet long. Yeah, it was six feet long, or you were really scrunched up. Yeah, I'm just thinking about the dimensions. There's a nice closet. Do you want me to draw you a sketch? Yeah. Which way? Do. The door is open. And we'll be right back. Hey, Julia, Louis Dreyfus here. If you listen to me on my Wiser Than Me podcast, you probably already know that I'm an investor and an evangelist for the mill food recycler. There are a lot of reasons to love mill, but for me, it's all about the impact. Keeping food out of the garbage is one of the most powerful things we can do to help the planet every single day. We're talking banana peels, carrot tops, old takeout. When that stuff heads to the landfill, it becomes a huge driver of climate change. If you already compost, great. But of course there's the smell, the flies, the running to the curb every day with a little leaking compost bag made of cornstarch. That's where mill comes in. It makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in. It can handle nearly anything from a turkey carcass to like 20 avocado pits. It works automatically while you sleep. You can keep filling it for weeks and it never ever smells. Mill makes dry, nutrient rich grounds that you can use in your garden and add to your compost feed to your chickens. Or mill can get them back to a small farm for you, but you kind of have to live with mill to really get it, and that's why they offer a risk free trial. Go to mill.com wiser for an exclusive offer. Spring is all about fresh starts and growth. What better time to start learning a new language right with Rosetta Stone? Of course, you can make real progress with Rosetta Stone in a way that feels natural and engaging. Rosetta Stone has been the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. I actually remember my dad buying Rosetta Stone trying to learn. I think it was Spanish. They offer an immersive and effective approach that helps you absorb and retain a new language naturally on desktop and mobile, whenever and wherever it fits your lifestyle. 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IXL is designed to help them really understand and master topics in a fun way with positive feedback. It's powered by advanced algorithms and gives the right help to each kid, no matter the age or personality. As a former teacher myself, I know how important it can be for kids to have extra support outside of the classroom. In fact, I I used IXL in my classroom as well. Like sometimes while I was helping a student with a specific thing, I needed another student to be working on a specific topic or skill, and I would print out things from IXL for them to do, or they would use IXL on their computer in the classroom. I also would recommend it to families when I was a teacher if they needed extra problems and things to do at home. And I'm so grateful that when my kid is school age that I will have IXL in my arsenal. If your child is struggling, this is a really smart investment that you can make. A single hour of tutoring costs more than a month of IXL, and one subscription gets you access across everything pre K to 12th grade. So if you have multiple kids in your home, they can all benefit from using IXL. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and PodCrush listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL memberships when they sign up today@ixl.com podcrushed visit ixl.com podcrush to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Up next is Eliza Schlesinger's hysterical story about silently dedicating songs to the Jenko clad boy she had a crush on. There was a boy. I'm gonna say his name now because he might. He probably is dead. I don't know. I don't. I don't know if he is no There was a boy named Jake, and he was just. Whatever attracts you to a child in the seventh grade. And he wore, like, jncos, and he was, like, a skater. And I just. For some reason, like, my heart throbbed for this kid whom I had no classes with. And we. It's a big middle school, so, you know, like, there were, like, skaters and preps, and then there was me in, like, a Far side T shirt. And I just loved him so much, and we never got to talk. And he was on my bus, and I asked him one day, I was like, do you want to go rollerblading? Wow. He said, yes. That's amazing. And he didn't show up. And I never had the guts to be. Like, I was there. Where were you? And I just. There is something about. It's obviously hormonal, but, like, I remember listening to. I want to say it's. Is it En Vogue or SWV has that song, like, baby, that's just why I love you so much. Please don't bite. Yeah. How am I not? I mean, I'm shocked that I don't. I hated that. Maybe. Maybe that was just not recognizable. Maybe it was. I always say to my husband, I was like, I feel like I'm secretly a good singer. My husband's like, the secret dies with you. I honestly thought you were going to, like, chime in, like, on a higher octave. Like, I don't know that I would have. I would have. It's about loving someone so much. And when I hear. It's a very 90s R&B song, and, like, I was like, jake, like, this goes out to you, like, unrequited. I know. I'm remembering all this. Yeah. When you could call into radio station, be like, this song goes out to Eliza. Yeah. No one ever did that for me. Yeah. Middle school was a lot of just pining for boys. Not in, like, a super sloppy way, but just also sort of knowing, like, yeah, that's probably never gonna happen, because especially growing up in Texas in the 90s, like, anything that derived from, like, gentile stick straight again with the hair blonde, like, super cute, like, ordained by other boys. Therefore, girls want to be anything that direct that deviated from that. Rather, you weren't dating anyone. You were just, like, going over to, like, your friend Courtney's house on a Friday night. Everybody had that friend named Courtney. Her name is Courtney. It still is. She's alive. She came to a show recently. Everybody had that friend whose parents would let them have boys over. Yes. Whose parents, like, kind of were Very casual about sexual things. And looking back, you're like, oh, you would let the kids have the upstairs. Because you guys were definitely swinging downstairs, like, 100, like, so many guys named dawn in, like, Tommy Bahamas shirts, wine charms. Like, why couldn't we open the other door? Like, what's going on? And boys would come over and, like, you would just hope that, like, any of these kids that you had, like, biology with would talk to you. And they never did. They only wanted to talk to, like, the two other girls who probably grew up to not be hot, but at the time were very hot. Yeah. So it was just like eating a lot of Gushers and Capri Suns because those parents bought those kind of junk foods and watching tgif. The whole point of middle school is to, like, get to a place where you can kiss a boy and not have someone break it up. Whether it's in a closet or you go to camp and you get those. I don't know if you ever went to sleep away camp. No one here is Jewish. Oh, there's right. You are Jewish. Secretly, it's having, like, sleepaway camp was the best because you get, like, that 10 minutes of unencumbered free time, like, before lights out, where you can, like, go make out on the lawn. And, like, maybe someone will, like, graze your nipple. Like, you're just looking for, like, someone. Maybe not the person. Anyone that's your. Like, I'm not having sex with you in a canoe. Anything but just, like, that freedom to, like, explore that. And then you come back and you're like, I've been to summer camp. Like, I'm different. I've been to summer camp. I'm different. So good. Our next crush story comes from Z way. Roll tape. Okay. My first crush was probably this kid in my freshman or first grade named Patrick who was blonde. And I didn't even think I liked him. I think it was just that he was blonde and everyone else liked him. So I was like, oh, yeah, I like Patrick. And then I rem. I told Patrick, like, I want to kiss you. And then he told his mom, and then my mom had to talk with me about, like, consent and not telling people you want to kiss them. So that was the end of my crush was me getting a lesson on boundaries. Was it really? I mean, it wasn't framed in that language then, was it consent and boundaries? It was just like, don't say that to people. It's like, don't do that. Why don't. That's really. That's how we Learned things back then. We also would get, like, if we got a cut, they'd just, like, push us down the stairs and be like, walk it off. But my first heartbreak was in high school, and it was this guy who ended up going on to be, like, a Harvard libertarian. So really that was God blocking, saving me. But it was just like an on again, off again thing where it was abundantly clear he had no interest in me. I remember him specifically telling me, pitting me against one of my friends and being like, she is much prettier than me. Oh, no. Prettier than you. And me being like, she is brushing my hair, like, trying to dress like her. Like, super, super sad. But that was probably my first heartbreak. And that taught me the lessons of men being sometimes deeply, deeply annoying. Yeah. And just like, oh, God, I poured so much into this. This crush that had no interest for me. I couldn't have handcuffed him to me and made him be my boyfriend if I tried at gunpoint. But you want to be loved so badly. You're like, please, please. How can I change myself? And it's like, okay, the answer is right in front of you. Please just take it in. Sometimes that is much healthier. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Spilling tea. Wow. Spilling tea is one thing, but you know who I'd love to enjoy a cup of tea with? Maybe some chamomile or even a hi. Tea on a kensington Afternoon. Matthew McConaughey. This idea of love has a big word in my family. You didn't throw that word around to feel it and say, it was a very, very big deal to me. And I did. I had a girlfriend. And this. This. This. I'm gonna tell you the story of the first love and the heartbreak, and they're gonna have a common denominator of the breakup up. And they broke up with me. I went away on a. Like a field trip with a class to Madrid. And while, you know, you have an allowance, right? And what do you do with that allowance? You spend it all on something for your girlfriend that you love. Right. You don't forget everything else that you forget. All the other people, they don't. They. They don't need a gift when I get back that. But I got her this necklace, and then I got her this, like, crystal trinket, and then I got, like, something else, and I came back and I unloaded these gifts on her. It was too much. It scared her. She broke up with me right after I'd given all these gifts. And. But you know that. But you Know what it is? We've all felt it on the giving and on the receiving side. It's like, for whatever reason it was, it was too much. The gifts. There was too many gifts. And she broke up. And I remember we crying and having sleepless nights and really having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. And I remember my mom coming back to my bed and telling me, look, I feel for you. As positive as my mom always was, she could always tell with those kids when we were really hurting and come back and sit with us and go, let's sit here in the pain for a minute. I know this sucks. I know this hurts. And to hear that and then eventually get to now remember, you're a catch. She's going to notice what she lost and all of us then start building the confidence. But mom was always good about sitting. Let's sit in the pain right now. Your first heartbreak. That was the first one. The second one was later in middle school, in the eighth grade, I met someone and it was going, crap. It was going. And she said to me, wrote me a note, and it said, I. And I was just, whoa, the feelings all the way to my fingertips. Out of my heart. I was, oh, my gosh. And two weeks later, oh, no. I said it to her. And the next day she broke up. Do you think it had to do with you sharing your feelings or coming on maybe what was too strong for her? What do you. What was it? Well, it was that. But, you know, I mean, again, we're going to try and break down the science and math of love, which we know is a foolish idea thing to do anyway, because if anything, love's not really dignified. I mean, it doesn't. It's not fair. But the too many gifts were, I guess it was. It intimidated her. Or maybe there's that thing that we do young, where, oh, now I know I got you. Bye. Bye. You know, I felt that before on my side where I felt somebody give it. I was like, oh, well, now you just fully committed to me. Okay, but you probably felt that after these incidents, right? Yes. And the I love you, she. Even though she said it first, soon as I said it, two weeks later, she broke up. And I remember that being a major heartbreak and made me very confused about, well, the. What's the love thing? What's the I love you mean? Yeah, you know, because she opened up to me and said it first. And now I came back reciprocated, and we were supposed to meet in the middle and go higher and become more Full. And now she went. And so for her, you know, now I'm older, I look back and I go, that's probably how she was feeling. She was a beautiful and pretty and affluent and. And I was the only guy in town, you know, that she could date. And I think getting that. I don't know. I didn't study her history. Did she have a track record of getting guys in as soon as you got them to say that word? But that's what it felt like. That was the hinge that was like, okay, check. I felt like it was a check for her. Got him. Say, I love you. Okay, later. Move on. Here's a twofer for you. Seth Meyers and his brother Josh Meyers had such different stories to tell. Let's start with Seth Meyers. Like, I had girlfriends, but I. I never had a girlfriend that I was capable of being heartbroken about. I don't. I didn't. It took me a lot. I don't know if I ever did. I'm kind of alone. I was always like, yeah, or. Or just go home alone, or I'll go flip through my baseball cards and read my comics. Baseball cards, comic books. They're not gonna read themselves. Do you feel like getting into those relationships was more just like, oh, this is the thing to do, because it sounds like you're super interested in them. It wasn't that I didn't. They were always girls that I liked and girls that I was friends with. It was just that I remember a girl I was dating, like, back when you were dating, where it barely meant anything. Like, there was barely a physical element. Like, it was like, you could date someone and maybe not kiss them. Like, that was really. That's my first two girlfriends. Yeah. And she gave me a cassette single. A casingle. A casingle. That. For those. For the children listening. That is a cassette tape with only one song on each side. And it was the NXS song Never Tear Us Apart. And she gave it to me. And I just remember thinking, oh, I feel like we're in different places, what we think about this relationship. And then there's Josh Meyers. I remember being on a ski lift with a girl and was, like, working up the nerve to ask her to go out with me. And right before we got off, like, you know, put your tips up. You're getting to the top of this thing. And I said, will you go out with me? And she said, yes. And then I skied away from her and, like, didn't talk to her. I want to Say, for two weeks. And then she was like, hey, we need to break up. And I was like, oh, I was crushed. But something I did and that, you know, that would happen again. I had a good, you know, girlfriend in high school that. I don't remember the breakup so much, but the first girl I dated in college was a very short relationship. And I think this is the one Seth's talking about. But we, you know, I was still a virgin. I had just gotten to college. I met this girl, was completely smitten. And there were things at our school called. I don't know if it was a mixer or a date party, but, like, where a. A big group of two fraternities and two sororities would go to a bar in Chicago or something like that. And I heard that the girl that I was dating had made out with this guy. And I got this piece of gossip and I stomped over to the guy who I really liked and still like. But I walked over to his dorm room and I was like, hey, did this happen? Did you make out with her? And he's like, yeah, why? And I was like, cause she's my girlfriend. He's like, oh, I. Sorry, I didn't know. And it was after a night when people had been out in Chicago, so it was late. And Seth and I shared a car in college. We had a VW Golf and he lived off campus. And I went and I got the car and I drove to the last place I could remember being happy, which was Oakmas, Michigan, which is where we left when I was five years old, before we moved to New Hampshire. So I drove through a snowstorm. I don't know how far from Evanston to East Lansing it is, but, like three to four hours, I wanna say. I would've thought even maybe longer. It was maybe longer. And I was. So just to clarify, a girl he'd barely dated broke up with him and it made him Forget the past 13 years of his life? Yeah, that was hitting me the happiest time, the last time you were alive. He loves his pan. Loved high school, loved his brother. Yeah. He's like, you know what? She literally set him back 13 years. Wow. And I drove and I went and I saw our old house. I saw our old elementary school. And there's a bagel place in East Lansing, right near Michigan State called Bagel Fragil. And I went to Bagel Fragile because we used to go there. Our mom got her master's at Michigan State. And I went to Bagel Fragile and there was a payphone There were no cell phones, and there was a payphone between. When you. The first double doors. First set of double doors. Second set of double doors. And I called mom and dad, and I was beside. I was like, she, you know, it's over. It's not gonna work out. In the meantime, Seth has woken up in Evanston, Illinois. Cause we're both at Northwestern and. And sees just an empty space where the car had been and called the police because he thought the car had been stolen. Well, first I called home and told my dad the car is gone. And this hearkens back to why I woke up the morning and went downstairs when Josh got in trouble. Because everybody always assumes I'm the one who fucked up. And so my dad was like, did you leave it unlocked? Did you leave the keys in it? And it should be noted, the reason everybody thinks I'm the one who fucked up is I do shit like that all the time. So I was like, probably. I probably did those things. He's like, well, that's why it got stolen. So now you have to call the police. So I called the police. And then Josh, I guess because you called home. Yeah. A blubbering phone call from a payphone to mom and dad, who then called you. Yes. And they were like, josh is in Okemons, Michigan. He's at Fragal Bagel. He's at Fragal Bagel. Wait a Fraggle. I will say, very depressed and going to a place called Bagel Fragle is really funny. And then I was so mad because I didn't feel like enough attention was being paid to how I had been blamed because my dad was like, so the car isn't. Wasn't stolen? And I said, you know, actually, it was stolen. Josh stole it, because otherwise he would have said, I'm taking the car. So it was. Was stolen. Actually, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. I don't know about you all, but the minute it gets warm, I convince myself that I need a whole new wardrobe. And then I end up with a pile of clothes that I might never wear. Quince is the one brand that actually helps me break that habit. Their pieces are timeless, lightweight. Somehow they make my closet feel pulled together. Quince has 100% European linen shorts and dresses from just $30 Luxe Swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals, and so much more. And the best part, Everything with quince is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. 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Quince.com podcrushed I wish I had known about Rakuten sooner because it's actually an incredible tool. I am already doing regular shopping at places like Sephora for skin care or Adidas for workout gear. Urban Outfitters for, you know, the trendiest stuff. All of those stores are on Rakuten, so the fact that I could earn cash back just by clicking through their site before I shop. Total game changer. Rakuten really is one of the smartest ways to save money because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. Everything from fashion and beauty to electronics, home essentials and even concert tickets. Stores like Nike, Bloomingdale's, Levi's. They pay Rakuten to send them shoppers and Rakuten turns around and gives part of that payment back to you. It's like getting rewarded for buying things that you were already gonna get anyway. Cash back is deposited directly into your PayPal account or Rakuten can send you a check. You can even maximize your savings by stacking cash back on top of other deals like store sales and coupons you're already shopping at your favorite stores. Why not save a little while you're doing it? It's honestly a no brainer. Membership is free and it's easy to sign up. Get the Rakuten app now and join the 17 million members who are already saving. Cashback rates change daily. See rakuten.com for details. That's R A K U T E N Your cash back really adds up. This is an ad by BetterHelp Mental health awareness is growing, but there's still work to be done. 26% of Americans recently surveyed have avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment. When people hesitate to seek support, it doesn't just affect them, it impacts families, workplaces, and entire communities. This mental health awareness month, let's encourage everyone to take care of their well being and to help break the stigma, because the world is better with emotionally healthy people at BetterHelp, they have over 10 years of experience matching you with the right therapist so you can access support from the privacy of home and on your schedule. Give online therapy a try or share it with a loved one. Whether it's for regular maintenance, help with grieving a loss, or to work through your anxiety, it's a great tool for your wellness. We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com today for 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com and for the grand finale, we are going all the way back to the very first episode we ever taped. The first one, it's with Evan Rachel Wood, and her crush was on. Well, I'll let her say it. I told you guys that I brought this diary of mine, and I was just horrified how, like, insane we all were. I had a crush on Pen at this time because it says, well. Well, we had another party at Penn's house. It was really fun. We really only danced because I'm disappointed that nothing else happened, obviously. But I realized how hot Penn was. He played, plays guitar, exclamation point, exclamation point. He played guitar and sang really well. It was so cool. Why is that so embarrassing, though? That's not embarrassing. So embarrassing for me, like, gripping the mic stand, fists clenched. I don't know. My palms are. Look at the sweat that's on the table from me just listening to this. I'm like, I still remember one of your songs. Oh, God. I remember the first time I ever recorded a song and I brought it over and it was at Robert's place, I think. Or I remember playing it for a number of our friends and can we get a little. I still got it. I mean, I can still hear it in my head. It's such a. It's such an embarrassing trope. We can edit it out. We can edit it out. It was really cute. It's such a. Stay with me tonight. Go out walking. Go out talking. No, but it was. But it was really good because there were, like, harmonies, and I remember harmonies have always been my strong suit. Yeah, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day, crushies. We'll see you next week. Podcrushed is hosted by Penn Badgley, Nava Kavilan and Sophie Ansari. Our senior producer is David Ansari and our editing is done by Clips Agency. Special thanks to the folks at Lemonada. And as always, you can listen to PodCrush ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. Okay, that's all. Bye. Hey, I'm Reshma Sajani, founder of Girls who Code and Moms First. I consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. So why is it that in midlife, as I'm about to turn 50, I feel so stuck? Join me as I try to find the answer on my so called Midlife from Lemonada Media. I talk to experts and extraordinary guests about divorce, exercise, menopause, sex, drugs and more to understand what we're going through and how to make the most of it. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Megan and I've got a new podcast I think you're going to love. It's called Confessions of a Female Founder, a show where I chat with people, female entrepreneurs and friends about the sleepless nights, the lessons learned, and the laser focus that got them to where they are today. And through it all, I'm building a business of my own and getting all sorts of practical advice along the way that I am so excited to share with you. Confessions of a Female Founder is out now. Hear new episodes each week ad free on Amazon Music. You can also ask Alexa Alexa, play Confessions of a A Female Founder with Megan on Amazon Music and she will.