Christina Quinn (2:57)

And your grandmother, she's like, sort of a central figure in your columns. Big mama, right?

Michelle Singletary (3:02)

That's right. Big Mama. Yeah. She passed away years ago. But she is a central character. I bring her up.

Christina Quinn (3:09)

Her legacy lives on.

Michelle Singletary (3:10)

Yeah, it does.

Christina Quinn (3:11)

You know, I have to say, because I love your column. There are times when I am shopping or something, and I'm like, michelle, Michelle will get mad at me if I. If I would do this, because you do have sort of like that tough, tough love, no nonsense approach, which is so refreshing because you really do cut through the bs, which is why we wanted you on the show. And that said, you do make sure that there is room for charitable giving. Like, everybody has. Has room in their wallet for that. And I would love for you to tell us, like, why. Why do you say everyone's budget should include charitable giving?

Michelle Singletary (3:46)

It's something that I deeply, deeply believe in. My whole existence actually started with charity. My grandmother took me and my siblings in. There was five of us. My oldest sister was eight, I was four, and a sister was three and twin brothers who were two. Our parents had a lot of issues, and my grandmother, basically, they were about to send us all off to foster care and split us up. And she said, no, bring them to me. Had it not been for my grandmother rescuing us, where would I be? Maybe not in such a great place. And so that has always motivated me. I have given to charity from the time that I earn money, either through money or my time. And so I do encourage people, as part of their budget, to build a charitable giving. Now, what I do say is a caveat, is that you give out of your abundance, you give out of your extra. So you make sure you've taken care of your necessities, roof over your head, food on the table, you know, your savings, and then you allocate that to charitable giving. And so for my husband and I, we tithe to our local church. My husband's a deacon. I'm not, because, you know, I cuss a lot.

Christina Quinn (5:00)

So.

Michelle Singletary (5:01)

So we tithe 10% of our income. Gross.

Christina Quinn (5:04)

I think. Before we move further, though, I think it would be really helpful if you could explain what tithing is.

Michelle Singletary (5:10)

Sure. So for my faith, I'm a Baptist, which used to be you in church all day long. Not necessarily anym, but it means that you give 10% of your increase. And so it's from the scripture, but basically, whatever you earn, the first 10%, the fruits of your labor goes to giving, in this case, your local church. So you can talk about it in the spiritual realm, but in a practical way, it means that you are supporting the efforts of your church to, to serve the community. So my tithes, 10% of my income goes to those efforts.

Christina Quinn (5:46)

I think that's extraordinary and I think that that's also really inspiring because like you said, you have to prioritize your. The basic necessities, right? You need. You gotta make sure you're paying your rent, paying your utilities, groceries, all that stuff. But it sounds like you're saying you're doing that before you do those things, because you've already mapped out your budget, so you already know what you have to work with.

Michelle Singletary (6:06)

Right? When you're a tither, that means you've left with 90%. It makes you real tight with your money because you want to make sure that that 90% is doing, needs to do. And I think it just, it imposes discipline. If you know that a key part of your budget is going to charity, I think that sets a different stage for your budget, and it introduces a level of gratitude that I didn't get to where I am just by my own divine. There were people along the way who helped me, who opened doors, who coached me, mentored me, let me cry on their shoulder. So it just makes you put you in a posture of saying, I am grateful for what I have and I want to give back as part of this whole of earnings. You know, we talk about people making sure that they have savings and they're investing for their retirement and sending their kids to college. And in that mix should be how am I helping other people. One of my brothers who since passed away had epilepsy. So I gave to the Epilepsy foundation in Maryland, and I served on their board. And, you know, one of my daughters just got recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And so we're probably going to add that to our charitable giving.

Christina Quinn (7:20)

I love that. And so for somebody who isn't a member of a church or any sort of congregation in general, they can still take on that philosophy and that approach because it really is, at the end of the day, I mean, that's right. You can take the 10% and pay it forward.

Michelle Singletary (7:36)

I mean, I sometimes look at people's budget and they go, oh, I can't save or I can't really give. And you look at that they're eating out, they've got four or five streaming services and, and I just, you know, you get to choose, right? I'm not telling you you have to give. I think that's a personal decision. But I do know that there is a lot of need. And so around the holidays everybody says, oh, I want to serve in a soup kitchen, I want to give. But you know what? People hungry all year long, y'.

Christina Quinn (8:02)

All, all year long. All year long.

Michelle Singletary (8:04)

People need clothes all year long. People need formula all year long. And while it's wonderful that people think about it this time of year, when we're recording this around Thanksgiving, leading into the Christmas and Hanukkah and all those. But you gotta make this a year long passion to help people. I think commit to the bit. That's right.

Christina Quinn (8:25)

What about people who have debt but they still wanna give? Like, you know, they wanna make sure that they pay off those bills but you know, make it less about them straightforward.

Michelle Singletary (8:35)

So I wear two hats. So I'm have to answer that question in case my pastor listen to this. Watch this. So I have 2s. I'm a ministry leader. So as a woman of f believe that you tithe even when you have debt. That means you've got to really have a tighter budget to do both. And so when I talk to, you know, secular, you know, maybe you're not religious, you know, you definitely again want to take care of the most important things. You know, you don't want the creditor because you owe your creditors and you should do all that you can to pay that back. So you have to incorporate it in your budget. So maybe, you know, you put the priority in terms of paying your bills and your debts and maybe you only have a dollar left or $10. You know, every charity I know will accept whatever you want to give at that level. And if you really don't have it, and many people don't, you just bear, you don't even maybe have enough for maybe all of your rent and food and then you can give of your time. And I think that's going to be my next question.

Christina Quinn (9:38)

Yeah, yeah. Because time, time is money, time is valuable. And yeah, I mean if there are ways to give that don't involve cash. Like you said, if you're cash strapped, you can barely afford these bills. There's need year round. Right. So what are other ways you can give? What are your suggestions?

Michelle Singletary (9:54)

So I'm, I'm, you know, I hope I'm not staying on too preachy to people, but I personally well, you are.

Christina Quinn (10:00)

The wife of a deacon, so, you.

Michelle Singletary (10:01)

Know, just own it. Just own it. That's true. Right. I actually got a T shirt too that says, so I.

Christina Quinn (10:07)

And a ministry leader.

Michelle Singletary (10:08)

That's okay. Right. And I run a financial ministry at my church, so I walk this walk. I personally think that everybody should have some of their time devoted to giving to a charity or working. And I have believed that since I was a teenager when I was a single woman and just had a little dog. I used to visit a nursing home with my dog because they found that a lot of times people in nursing homes, they don't necessarily connect with people, but they connect with animals. So I would take my dog to the nursing home a couple times a week, and they. And some pa. Some. Some of the residents will talk to me and the dog, and some would pay me no attention and only focus on the dog. And that was okay with me.

Christina Quinn (10:48)

Leave the dog with me.

Michelle Singletary (10:49)

Right. And so I have. I just think that you should, if you got. If you're a parent, that part of the activities of your children should involve charitable giving, either through their. Their allowance or their time. So I think I just. It's important, particularly if you've got children. And my children were required to. To serve in something, you know, food, kitchen, g. Teaching, tutoring, whatever. And so I just think that you ought to carve out time in your life. You're running your kids all these soccer practices, and you're going to the movies and you're sitting and binge watching stuff, and. And that's fine. That feeds your soul in a different way. But my goodness, what a difference it would make if everybody carved out some amount of time to give to others.

Christina Quinn (11:38)

Right? Yeah. It's funny you say that. Just this week we were. My husband and I were just going through, like, the pantry and thinking, like, oh, yeah, you know, let's. Let's focus on food donation. And I. And I said, like, we need to make sure that we take our kids with us when we do this so they actually see, like, this is what we're doing, and this is why. So I love. I love hearing you say that. Like, yes, have your kids basically normalize it right from an early age.

Michelle Singletary (12:02)

I love that. That's right. Normalize the giving of your time and your money if they see you do it. Because kids, you know, they're really sharp. You can be like, oh, you need to do this. But if they don't see you doing it, they might. They. They probably won't. You know, it's so true.

Christina Quinn (12:18)

I think for so long and for so, so many years, you know, religious organizations were often at the helm of charitable donations. And, you know, there are fewer people practicing faith than decades ago. Right. Where do you suggest people go to find out where they can give?

Michelle Singletary (12:38)

Well, you know, lots of us have employers who have projects in the community, so you can look around and see if there are any things that your company does. And so I would say start and see if you belong to a community group. Honestly, you could just Google charitable work and your neighborhood and all kinds of things.

Christina Quinn (12:59)

It's called the Internet, Christina.

Michelle Singletary (13:00)

Right. No, no, but it's a good question. People kind of, if it's not in their face and it's not coming to them, they may not think about it. But if you make it part of who you are and your personal mission, I sort of think, I guess I probably do have a personal mission and vision statement for myself. And again, it stems back to my gratitude of my grandmother raising me and all the people who stepped into my life to help me when my parents were absent. And I just thought if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. And I just keep that in the forefront.

Christina Quinn (13:41)

There's clearly a lot of different ways to give, whether that's through time or money. And we all have different motivations to be altruistic. But how do we know if we're giving to the right place or the right amount? That's after the break.

Narrator (14:09)

This is Michael J. Fox.

Michelle Singletary (14:11)

With your support, we can end Parkinson's.

Christina Quinn (14:13)

Once and for all.

Michelle Singletary (14:14)

Get involved@michaeljfox.org the Michael J. Fox foundation here. Until Parkinson's isn't.

Christina Quinn (14:31)

So in part one of this series, we, we talked about altruism and, and what it means to be truly altruistic. And so when it comes to charity, do you believe that any charitable giving is good, even if you're just doing it for the tax write off or because, you know, social media peer pressured you into doing it?

Michelle Singletary (14:46)

Yeah, that's such an interesting question. I've never been asked that before. I, I don't know. I think the charity's perspective, like bring that guilt money, I don't care. You know, I, I think you give however you give. If you are. If you wanted to give for the tax break, you know what? Go ahead and give. I don't. Right.

Christina Quinn (15:12)

Because somebody's benefiting. Right?

Michelle Singletary (15:13)

That's right. Something is better than nothing. I would like to think that even if people are giving for just the tax Break, break. The underlying. It is still an effort to try to help somebody else because the tax break is a dollar for dollar. So you still aren't getting all of that money back in the tax break. So those of us who serve in the community, we'll take it however we get it. If you give out of guilt, that's okay.

Christina Quinn (15:39)

That's okay.

Michelle Singletary (15:40)

That's okay with me.

Christina Quinn (15:43)

You have written a lot about financial scams and I guess I, how can we make sure that we're giving to a reputable charity?

Michelle Singletary (15:52)

So right now there's a lot of need in Jamaica for people. And you get this email or a text message and you're like, your heart leaves, but I need you to lead from your heart and your head. So before you give to anybody, any charity, please, please check it out. Because you want your money to be used well and you don't want it to fund a scammer because that emboldens them to cheat other people. And so if you're not sure how to do this, the Federal Trade Commission, if you go to ftc.gov it has a tip sheet on how to check out a charity. You can go to, to the bbb, which stands for Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance Online. And they have a way for you to check out charities. And then Charity Watch also sort of rates charities and gives you an idea of how if they're legitimate. So I, I just listen, I've, we've talked a lot about maybe people are like, yeah, yeah, that's me now I'm gonna go. But please, please take time to make sure that the charity is legitimate. Don't answer any email, text message, anything you see online, shove that to the side. Go directly to the source before you give in those ways, even with some friends come at you, just say, you know, that's, that's a good idea. Let me check that out and give and actually follow through. Right. But I think it is important as givers that you make sure that you are giving to legitimate charities because you damage legitimate charities. Right? Yeah. If you don't take that time. And also you want to be sure that the charity is in the position to do what they need to do. Like you might have someone saying, I'm going to help people in Jamaica. They never help nobody in Jamaica. They don't know how to get anything to Jamaica, but they, their heart is there, but they don't have the infrastructure.

Christina Quinn (17:42)

Well, actually, so, yeah, I mean, on that. Now, what about GoFundMes? You know, there are a lot of GoFundMes or somebody's like, oh, you know, I have a relative, you know, here in this country, like, you know, in this disaster, they could use all the help. I mean, what about. What about that?

Michelle Singletary (17:56)

I. I'm of two minds with those campaigns. Right. Okay. Now, GoFundMe says they do a lot to check out and make sure people legitimate. And I've done columns on that. And it does seem like they have a really robust system to make sure that when you give to a campaign, the person is actually raising for the people that they talk about. I think some people are too quick to go to cofundme when they haven't utilized other avenues. But if you see a campaign on one of those platforms and you've checked it out and it's legitimate and it's in your heart to give, then sure. Because sometimes things pop up that you weren't thinking about. And this happened recently with Jamaica. Right. One of my friends is helping someone else collect clothing and toilet and things like that. And so we're going, okay, that's not part of our regular giving. But there's a need that has arisen right now. And so when you come up with your charitable budget, you might actually set aside some funds for things that come up that is not part of your regular giving plan. Because there are times where people are coming at you and coming at you, and you're like, oh, my gosh, I feel overwhelmed.

Christina Quinn (19:03)

But now, because once you start.

Michelle Singletary (19:05)

That's right.

Christina Quinn (19:05)

Once you start, everyone knows everyone.

Michelle Singletary (19:07)

That's right.

Christina Quinn (19:08)

They come for you. They really do.

Michelle Singletary (19:09)

That's right. And so if you've got a plan. Plan, you can say, well, you know what? I. These are. These are the charities that I give to, and this is not part of my charitable plan. And that way when people keep coming at you, you can say no and not feel guilty or be guilted into giving when you already have a giving plan.

Christina Quinn (19:30)

Such great advice. So practical. I mean, this is your bread and butter planning and budgeting. You're like, guys, do that with your finances. Do that with your time. Because if you have the time, you just need to plan it and stick with it.

Michelle Singletary (19:44)

That's right. That's right. If you're. If you're going to be serving in your community, you want to live up to those obligations. I mean, we're coming at the end of the year. I would say that could be one of your resolutions for the new year. I'm going to have a giving plan. And we have certain charities that we give to every year. Public Radio. We give to that. And that's on our giving sheet. I give back to my alma mater, University of Maryland at College Park. We, as I said, we tithe in our church. And I probably will be adding diabetes now to that giving plan. And so you can change it from year to year. Midway through, you say, you know what? I see this charity, they're doing great work. Why don't I add them to the plan? Listen, you guys, you know, you have a budget. You have things that you do regularly. You give to Netflix and all like that. Add a charity, you know, to that, right? You know, we have things that we pay every month for living religiously no matter what. Why not add that to your budget?

Christina Quinn (20:40)

Yeah. Be intentional.

Michelle Singletary (20:41)

Be intentional about checking out in charities. Be intentional about giving. Be intentional about giving of your time. And I tell you, when you work in the community, when you work with people who are in need, when you work with people who are struggling, it creates a sense in your soul that I think makes you a better person.

Christina Quinn (21:02)

That connection, it really is important to have that connection.

Michelle Singletary (21:06)

Right?

Christina Quinn (21:06)

I'm so glad that you also donate to public radio. I'm a public radio alum. As you can see, I'm actually wearing a radio shirt.

Michelle Singletary (21:14)

I totally believe in it. We give to all. In fact, in the D.C. area, there's like what, three of you?

Christina Quinn (21:20)

There's a bunch of stage, yes.

Michelle Singletary (21:21)

Right. And so we get to all of them. We're like, because we couldn't choose, right? We feel like we so bad. So we're like, okay, we're gonna give all three.

Christina Quinn (21:28)

And so I can't have a favorite child.

Michelle Singletary (21:31)

All of you guys? Yes. Yeah. No, I have a favorite child. Parents who say that. I don't believe it.

Christina Quinn (21:37)

We'll save that for another episode. All right, recap. As Michelle put it, there's always a way to give. Whatever you decide, do it intentionally and within your means. Build charitable giving into your budget and give from your abundance. After covering your essentials options, include regular tithing or percentage based giving and put it towards causes that mean something to you. If you can't swing it financially, give time as a valuable alternative. This means volunteering regularly, not just during the holidays. We're talking food kitchens, tutoring and helping community organizations. And if you're a parent, to include your kids in service projects. Lastly, give wisely by choosing reputable avenues. Vet charities before donating. You can do this by searching BBB Wise Giving alliance and Charity Watch. Be cautious with unsolicited requests. Verify GoFundMe campaigns or stick with organizations that have the infrastructure to deliver aid. And yes, I know you're excited to give, but do it within your means means create a personal giving plan so you can say yes or no without feeling overwhelmed. Try this is produced and hosted by me, Christina Quinn and Taylor White. Additional producing by Sharla Freeland. The show's editors are Thomas Lu and Kanyakrit Van Kitkajorn. Sharla Freeland is also our video editor. Sound design and mixing is by Ted Muldoon and Shawn Carter. Theme music is by Katherine Anderson. Show art is by Kati Huertas with design editing from Christian Font and Greg Manifold. The things I learn on the show really do change how I move through the world, and I'd love to hear from you. Tell me what you took away from our course and how you make altruism a part of your everyday life. Record a voice memo or or drop me a note@trythisoshpost.com the email address again is trythisoshpost.com thanks for listening.

Narrator (23:54)

If you enjoyed this episode of Try this, don't miss listening to the very first episode of the season, including a special segment from the Michael J. Fox foundation for Parkinson's Research, which is dedicated to finding better treatments and a cure for Parkinson's. Find out about the impact the foundation is making, why it matters, and how you can be a part of it this giving season. Visit the Try this podcast page on washingtonpost.com or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen to.