Meet the man who invites 1,000 people to his house every month

Summary

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Post Reports – “Meet the man who invites 1,000 people to his house every month”

Date: September 27, 2025
Host: Maggie Penman
Guest: David Weiner

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Post Reports, reporter Maggie Penman takes listeners inside the remarkable monthly parties hosted by David Weiner at his Washington, D.C., row house. For 15 years, David has opened his home to friends, neighbors, and strangers—welcoming up to 100 people each month from an ever-growing email list that now exceeds 1,000. Through music, food, and community spirit, David’s open-door “21st of 21” party offers lessons in creating and sustaining connection. Maggie explores how David manages the logistics, what motivates him, and what others can learn from his example.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Origins and Logistics of the Party

• Monthly Tradition:

  • The party is held on the 21st of every month, known as the “21st of 21.” (00:39)
  • Initially skipped November and December, but David realized those months were favorites for guests, especially out-of-towners. (03:01-03:12)

• Open Invitation:

  • Entry is a suggested $21 donation plus a bottle of wine or food to share. (01:06)
  • Attendees are a mix of longtime friends and complete strangers, many connecting by word of mouth. (00:44, 05:06)

• Unique Musical Component:

  • A jazz jam session forms the heart of the gathering, with professionals and amateur musicians playing together. (01:06)
  • “We did play the French horn, which doesn’t work very well at one of these events.” (Maggie Penman, 01:13)

Sustaining the Community

• Consistency Over Time:

  • “This party has happened basically every month for 15 years. It draws anywhere from 40 to 100 people.” (Maggie Penman, 01:16)

• David’s Motivation:

  • The appreciation from attendees keeps him going, despite the physical and emotional labor involved. (04:24)
  • “People’s appreciation for it is motivating. I feel kind of an obligation to keep it going.” (David Weiner, 04:24)

• Managing Burnout & Boundaries:

  • David, now 75, admits the event is exhausting and sometimes considers stopping, but isn’t planning on quitting soon. (03:58-04:05)
  • Washing dishes gives him a “break from socializing.” (03:52)

The Power of Space and Hospitality

• David’s House:

  • Two combined row houses, open layout with no doors except on bathrooms—art-filled, plants everywhere. (08:19)

• Care for Guests:

  • The design of the space makes everyone feel welcome and encourages mingling.
  • “Part of the pleasure…is just wandering around looking at all of David’s cool stuff.” (Maggie Penman, 08:19)

• Party Dynamics:

  • Music continues late into the night, attracting musicians who join after their gigs. (09:15)
  • Guests naturally know when to leave; no major thefts in 15 years, just some missing forks. (09:15-10:00)

Community Stories

• Parvati Ramchandani:

  • First-time guest: “David, honestly, I am blown away. I've never been to anything like this.” (04:38)
  • Expresses gratitude and sense of privilege to attend. (04:51)

• Nan Rafael:

  • Longtime attendee and retired Army Field Band piccolo player: “I've been doing this for a really long time, practically since it started. And it's just such a great way to see neighbors that I haven't seen in a while or that I only see once a month.” (05:32)
  • Used to participate in jam sessions, now enjoys catching up and listening. (05:54)

The “Secret” to Success & Takeaways

• Courage Overcoming Worry:

  • David admits to worrying about everything (crowds, mess, art, etc.) but doesn’t let it stop him. (10:00)
  • “I do feel like this is the lesson that I took away from talking to David. It kind of feels like the definition of courage, the fact that he does worry, right, he is scared, but he doesn't let it stop him.” (Maggie Penman, 10:17)

• Main Lesson:

  • Building community can be sustained with trust, vulnerability, and effort—even if the scale is smaller for most of us. (10:38)
  • “We can all do our small version of this…I don't have an amazing house or the stamina to host a party until 1am, but maybe I can try again with the book club.” (Maggie Penman, 10:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Keeping the Party Going:

  • “Only in the sense that I'm not thinking about not doing it. Thinking of myself being 85 and doing it seems a little prepared, but at the same time, why not?”
    —David Weiner (04:05)

• On Building Community:

  • “People find out about it through word of mouth...Anyone who comes can add their name to an email list where David sends monthly reminders which are forwarded and passed along. That email list now has more than a thousand recipients.”
    —Maggie Penman (05:06)

• Recipe for Success:

  • “I worry about everything, but I don’t let it stop me.”
    —David Weiner (10:00)

• Reflections on Courage:

  • “It kind of feels like the definition of courage, the fact that he does worry, right, he is scared, but he doesn't let it stop him. I think a lot of us let the worry part get in the way.”
    —Maggie Penman (10:17)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:39 – Introduction to David Weiner and the 21st of 21 party
• 01:06 – How the party works (music, donations, open invitation)
• 03:01 – Why certain months are now included
• 03:52 – David on finding respite in doing the dishes
• 04:05–04:24 – David’s motivation and sense of obligation
• 04:38–05:06 – Guest testimonials on the party’s impact
• 05:32–06:02 – Nan Rafael’s perspective as a regular
• 08:19 – Description of David’s house and the atmosphere
• 09:15–10:00 – Party’s late-night dynamics, trust, and little worries
• 10:17–10:53 – Main takeaway: courage in community-building

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a warm, conversational, and optimistic tone, focusing on the joy and genuine community spirit present at David’s gatherings. Maggie Penman’s reporting style is friendly and relatable, with personal reflections on her own efforts to build community.

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Final Takeaway

David Weiner’s monthly parties remind us that meaningful community is built through generosity, consistency, and the courage to open one’s home—and heart—despite fears or inconveniences. Even for those who might not host a hundred people, his story holds valuable lessons for anyone seeking to create more connection in their own lives.

Transcript

[David Weiner]

With my job, I can't drink during the week. Weekends are a different story. Ugh.

[Maggie Penman]

After eight hours of this, I have earned my wine.

[David Weiner]

You know what I'm saying? My family is a lot. It takes me four beers just to hang out with them.

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[Maggie Penman]

David Weiner is washing dishes.

[David Weiner]

I'm David Weiner, and welcome to the 21st of 21.

[Maggie Penman]

It's the 21st of the month, so his DC row house is full of people. Some of them are friends he's known for decades. Some of them are people he's never met.

[David Weiner]

It's a party basically for the community here, but the invitation is open. It was created with the idea of a big jam session.

[Maggie Penman]

There's a jazz band playing downstairs and the music is floating up through the house. A few of the musicians are professionals, but others are amateurs, people who showed up with an instrument and enough courage, liquid or otherwise, to join in. We did play the French horn, which doesn't work very well. At one of these events. The price of admission is a $21 suggested donation that just about covers costs and pays the house band a bottle of wine or food to share is always welcome. And this party has happened basically every month for 15 years. It draws anywhere from 40 to 100 people of all ages every month. And the question I had for David is how does he keep this going? I'm Maggie Penman. This is Post Reports weekend. It's Saturday, September 27th. I'm a reporter for the Optimist, a section here at the Post where we write about the best of humanity, things that are going right in the world today. I'm bringing you along for some reporting I did about one person who is building community with an open door policy. We all know that socializing is so good for us. Building community is so important. But we're busy and distracted and keeping it going can be hard. I can't even keep my book club going. So I wanted to ask David, what is the secret to throwing a great party? Because whether or not you want to invite a thousand strangers to your house once a month, I'm assuming you don't. I think there's something for all of us to learn here about creating and sustaining a community. When it comes to how he got here, the first thing David Will tell you is that there's a lot that he's learned over the last 15 years.

[David Weiner]

Originally, the first year we skipped November and December because Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[Maggie Penman]

But then he realized those were some of his guests favorites.

[David Weiner]

And it occurred to me that be coming to town and maybe they'd be looking forward to something to do. And that was absolutely the case. And so it was huge and a lot of out of town people.

[Maggie Penman]

David prefers the warm weather months in part because he doesn't have to figure out what to do with everyone's coats. It's not easy for David to do this. The coats are just one problem. This event takes work. He cooks, he cleans, he entertains. It can be exhausting. I mean, part of the reason he likes washing dishes is because it gives him a break from socializing.

[David Weiner]

Doing things like doing the dishes keeps me from having to be sociable or not sociable, but I mean entertaining.

[Maggie Penman]

And he does think about stopping. He's 75 years old. Do you imagine yourself continuing to do this for a lot longer?

[David Weiner]

Only in the sense that I'm not thinking about not doing it. Thinking of myself being 85 and doing it seems a little prepared, but at the same time, why not?

[Maggie Penman]

But what I find so inspiring about David is that despite all of the work, he still thinks it's worth it.

[David Weiner]

People's appreciation for it is motivating. I feel kind of an obligation to keep it going.

[Maggie Penman]

Multiple times during the night, I see David get pulled away from a conversation or from washing the dishes by guests who want to thank him.

[Parvati Ramchandani]

David, honestly, I am blown away. I've never been to anything like this.

[Maggie Penman]

And you did all the cooking. Parvati Ramchandani is a physician in her 70s. She's here tonight for the first time.

[Parvati Ramchandani]

But I really, I'm so. I will definitely. I feel so privileged to know Mary Glenn who said, you know, you have to come, you have to meet David.

[Maggie Penman]

It's not like David advertises this party, right? People find out about it through word of mouth from their friend, or in the case of one woman, I talked to someone she was dating who brought her and he knew about it because someone he had dated before that brought him. Anyone who comes can add their name to an email list where David sends monthly reminders which are forwarded and passed along. That email list now has more than a thousand recipients.

[Nan Rafael]

I've been doing this for a really long time, practically since it started. And it's just such a great way to see neighbors that I haven't seen in a while or that I only see once a month.

[Maggie Penman]

Nan Rafael is sitting outside on David's roof deck. She's 70, she's a piccolo player and she spent 26 years playing in the US Army Field Band.

[Nan Rafael]

In fact, when I first started coming, I would bring my piccolo and jam with the band, but I haven't done that in a while now.

[Maggie Penman]

She mostly just comes to sit around with her neighbors, have a glass of wine, catch up and listen to the music. After the break, the secret to what makes David's parties work so well and how we can all replicate just a little bit of it. We'll be right back.

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[Maggie Penman]

Everyone I talk to agrees. Part of what makes this party work so well is the space. David's home is actually two row houses next door to each other, and he bought the first one in 1983 and the second one in 1995 and eventually he combined them and that created this really incredible open, theatrical space. The band plays on the first floor right next to his bedroom, and the guests sit on the stairs and fill in the loft like area above them. There are no doors in the house except for on the bathrooms. The house is also full of plants and art. David's father was a painter and some of the pieces are his. Others come from David's world travels when he was making documentaries. And part of the pleasure of going to this party is just wandering around looking at all of David's cool stuff.

[David Weiner]

Wow, it's a lot of new people already. Yeah, sure is.

[Maggie Penman]

The turnout tonight is really good. Every couch and chair is fitting filled. People are even sitting on the floor and on the stairs. David is staying busy running back and forth from the kitchen. I don't see him sit down once. The guests start to trickle out around 10pm and then the party gets a second wind. Musicians who have been playing at clubs and bars around the city finish their sets and come play here again just for fun. The last guests leave between midnight and 1am I asked David if he ever had to tell people to leave. He said no. People seem to know when it's time to go home. Has anyone ever stolen anything? He said not really. Although he always seems to be missing a few forks. Doesn't know why. Does David ever worry about too many people showing up? Or his art or his home with all of these people traipsing through it? David thought for a moment about that one and said, I worry about everything, but I don't let it stop me. I do feel like this is the lesson that I took away from talking to David. It kind of feels like the definition of courage, the fact that he does worry, right, he is scared, but he doesn't let it stop him. I think a lot of us let the worry part get in the way. Like what if I have a party and no one shows up? And David does think about that. But after 15 years and well over a hundred of these parties under his belt, he's gotten good at this monthly trust fall. And by making this space, by opening his home, he is showing up for his community. And they show up for him too. The main thing I'm trying to take away from David's jazz party is that we can all do our small version of this. I don't have an amazing house or the stamina to host a party until 1am, but maybe I can try again with the book club. I'm Maggie Penman and I'm going to be bringing you more stories like this one on the weekend along with my other colleagues from the Optimist team. So please send us an email and let us know if you like it. You can reach [e-mail] and you can find more hopeful and inspiring stories online and in our newsletter. We'll put a couple links in our show notes. Today's episode was reported and produced by me and Ted Muldoon, who also mix the show. Thank you to my editor, Allison Klein. Have a great rest of your weekend.

[Washington Post Advertiser]

You listen because you know the power of good journalism and the Washington Post is there for you 24 7. When you become a Washington Post subscriber, you get exclusive reporting you can't find anywhere else. You also get sharp advice, columns, delicious recipes, TV and music reviews and so much more. Right now, you can get all of that for just four four dollars every four weeks. That's for an entire year. After that, it's just $12 every four weeks. And you can cancel any time. Add to your knowledge and discover all the Post has to offer. Go to washingtonpost.com subscribe. That's washingtonpost.com subscribe.