
You don’t have to overspend to enjoy the holidays. Personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary offers tips for scaling back and sticking to your budget this season.
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Michelle Singletary
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Colby EKOWICZ
I tell you a funny Black Friday story? This was years ago. My dad and my brother, there was like an electronics store in our town called Circuit City. I don't know if that was a chain. Oh, yeah, that was a chain.
Michelle Singletary
Okay. I'm old enough to remember.
Colby EKOWICZ
Remember Circuit City before Circuit City went out of business? So Circuit City was having some crazy like first 20 people in the door get a laptop for $200, which was like a great deal. My brother and my dad camp out all night. Like get in line at like 10pm and so everyone's like in line and they're orderly and. But the minute those doors open, it's crazy. Mad rush, right? So now there's no order. So my then 15 year old brother goes up to the manager and says, you have violated the fire code. And if you don't give the people that were actually the first 20 in line these laptops, I'm calling the fire department.
Michelle Singletary
Wow.
Colby EKOWICZ
And they did it.
Michelle Singletary
And they did. They did it. Oh, I love your brother.
Colby EKOWICZ
He got his. He and my dad each got their $200 laptops.
Michelle Singletary
I love it.
Colby EKOWICZ
After staying up all night.
Narrator/Producer
Michelle Singletary is the personal finance columnist for the Washington Post. And any of her loyal readers can tell you that she has no patience for overspending around the holidays. And that includes on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, when stores lure in holiday shoppers like my dad and brother. With sales and promotions this season, Michelle says concerns about the rising costs of food, housing and healthcare have consumers rethinking how much they spend. So I asked Michelle for some tips about how we can approach these holidays at a time when it seems like so many people are cash strapped. From the newsroom of the Washington Post, this is Post Reports. I'm Colby EKOWICZ. It's Monday, November 24th. Today, financial advice from budget queen Michelle Singletary. We talk about everything from hosting a cost effective holiday gathering to inexpensive yet meaningful gift ideas.
Colby EKOWICZ
Michelle, do you have any fun, like Black Friday shopping stories?
Michelle Singletary
Oh, my gosh, no. I don't like shopping and so I don't like to be. I don't like to shop when they're crowds, but I get it. You know, people are kind of excited about getting deals. I actually see sales as like a Sneaky trick to get you to spend more.
Colby EKOWICZ
I feel like Black Friday has changed a lot because I remember when I was younger, like, Black Friday, it did legitimately seem like, you know, midnight strikes, and you're gonna get all of these great deals, and people are lined up outside of Walmart or Target. But now I feel like Black Friday deals start on, like, Labor Day, like.
Michelle Singletary
To your point, like, Fourth of July. Right.
Colby EKOWICZ
I mean, like, there's, like, these same deals that you get on Black Friday. They're available to you all year long.
Michelle Singletary
That's exactly right.
Colby EKOWICZ
Is it the Internet, like, what's made the Black Friday experience change so much?
Michelle Singletary
Well, I think a lot of it had to do with the pandemic, so more people started shopping online. I think the online shopping have given us the ability to shop more. You don't have to leave your house to buy something. And so Black Friday sort of has lost its luster. Right? Because you can get the deals anytime during the year. Just one click and you have it.
Colby EKOWICZ
Is shopping on Black Friday, like, are you getting a deal? Like, is it smart if you're being a savvy shopper to, like, search for those deals around this time of year?
Michelle Singletary
I would say that you have to search smartly. Like, my producer. I love Sharla. Hey, Sharla.
Colby EKOWICZ
We all love Sharla.
Michelle Singletary
So she turned me on to this. So there are apps that help you track prices. Don't listen to them. Oh, it's 50% off. It's all 70% off. Because it's been 70% off the whole year. Right, right. So you're not really getting a deal. So if you know that there's that you want to get, look at the history of how that was priced. So then you will have information to know whether or not it's a good deal. And you can go back and see what something costs, you know, several months ago. And then if they say it's 50% off, but it's really pretty much the same price, then, you know, that's not really a deal. You might still go ahead and get it, but you're not driven by the sale.
Colby EKOWICZ
So do you have any strategies for how people should go about, like, tackling their shopping lists for the holidays? I mean, gift giving is one of the major love languages, and this time of year is all about the thrill of giving gifts to the people that you love. And it's also about the thrill of the deal.
Michelle Singletary
Yeah, it is. It is. I love that you use that phrase, love language, because it's not my Language. No surprise, right? But it is my. And my son is on the autism spectrum. And he's so kind, and he just. He wants to please. And so around the holidays, he'll get a little notebook and he'll start quizzing me, mom, what's your favorite color? What game did you like when you were growing up? And so I would discourage him, and I discouraged him so much so that one time he kind of left with his head tucked down, and I was like, okay, Michelle, he wants to give you something, so why don't you give him some ideas for some things? And I say that to say that even though when people hear me, it's like, oh, she's just going to tell us not to spin. I recognize that for some people, that is their love language, and I have to respect that. And so now I do give my son a list. I give him some ideas of some things I want, and I encourage him to go ahead and get me something, even though it's not my love language. You want to give you your pleaser, but have a plan so that instead of writing a whole list of everybody you have to give to start with, how much can you afford to spend? Say, $300, $500, whatever it is, set that amount and then fit the list into that amount. Don't do it the reverse way. List then how much you're going to spend on each person.
Colby EKOWICZ
Start with the amount of money, start.
Michelle Singletary
With the amount of money. And then you want to get an index card. And at the top, say it's $300 and you've got your list of people and you put them on there. And then as you're buying something, subtract from that $300. So you're constantly keeping track of how much you have. And then if you're really challenged, take your credit card bill that you can't pay off every month. And when you remind you to remind you and pull it out and go, yeah, that's why I can't spend a whole bunch of money.
Washington Post Subscriber Ad Voice
Yeah.
Michelle Singletary
And here's a tip. Take the friend who hates shopping.
Colby EKOWICZ
Don't take me then.
Michelle Singletary
Right. So people will take me. So take the person who is frugal. That is your accountability partner, and that is your conscience, Right? Your person who's gonna go, why are you buying it?
Colby EKOWICZ
You know, I think this time of year is always stressful, but right now, in this moment, when prices are higher, when people feel like things are out of reach, do you feel like the stress level is even higher this holiday season than maybe in Years past.
Michelle Singletary
Yeah, I do. I do. And even if someone feels secure, we all know that none of our jobs are secure. Right. And unfortunately, what happened with the federal workforce where we always thought, I don't know about all the people listening, but when I was growing up, federal job was like, lock. You know, if you did your job, you're going to hold onto a job. And that kind of made people realize that your job is not 100% safe. Look at tech, right? It used to be, oh, get a job in tech, you'll always have a job. That's not true anymore. And so I think a lot of people are worried, rightfully so. Right. I don't want you to be fearful, but I do want you to realize that none of us are secure. And knowing that you have to spend and give appropriately. Right. I think it's okay to feel what you feel, but don't let that drive you to the point where, like, if you can give, then give. Especially to charitable groups this time of year.
Colby EKOWICZ
Michelle, what would you say to, like, a family with kids and let's say they're a family that can't pay off their credit card bill every month, they're in debt, but Christmas is coming, Hanukkah's coming, and they want to give their kids a special holiday.
Michelle Singletary
I believe in managing people's expectations, even children. I don't come from any. I remember sparse holidays where my grandmother couldn't give us a whole lot. I remember that during the holidays, she'd have a bowl of fruit and nuts in the middle of the table, and we each had our own space around the tree to make the pile a little bit bigger. She would take the fruit from the bowl and add it to your pile so you felt like you had more. The best present you can give your children if you are struggling financially is not to increase that anxiety by giving them things that you can't afford. It's a hard thing. I get that. Another strategy is, why don't you wait and open up the presents when you're visiting your family? So, like, if you're gonna have a holiday dinner, you say, hey, listen, let's wa to no quote in prisons when we get to grandma's house. So grandma's gonna have something, Auntie might have something, and then your gifts, and then they don't feel so deprived. So you sort of kind of do ways to make them feel as if they're not getting less. But you do have to be the grownup and just say, we can't. And the older children, they Already know they're at the house. They see you stressed. And don't underestimate the ability of your children to understand the situation. You don't wanna burden them. You don't wanna say we broke to, but you want to just say, hey, listen, you know, we're struggling a little bit. I can't give you everything you want, but what I can give you, I'll try. But the most important thing is that I love you and that I want to create a safe home for you. I want to keep the roof over your head. And when I can do better, when I get more, I will.
Colby EKOWICZ
I remember growing up, we didn't have a lot either. And my mom always used the layaway system at Kmart. She would start every time we would go to Kmart, she'd give a little money so that, you know, by the time the holidays rolled around, there'd be enough there to buy me and my brother toys. So do programs like that still exist? Is that something that people should be thinking about when they're thinking about the holidays?
Michelle Singletary
I remember layaway programs very well. My grandmother did that as well. She would. In that case, you'd get the item, but you couldn't take it home. You'd had to leave it at the store, and so you paid it off. And that was her way to get enough gifts to put on our little piles.
Narrator/Producer
Right.
Michelle Singletary
So now it's like, buy now, take it home, and pay us later. And I think it's a trap for many people because it encourages them to overspend because they can stretch it out in a couple of payments.
Colby EKOWICZ
Oh, so stores are now letting you actually take the product home with you and pay it off in installments, Correct?
Michelle Singletary
Correct. Buy now, pay us later. And if you have to use for the holidays, if you have to use that, I would say you probably can't afford the gifts that you're getting, and so be very careful about that. Now, if you've got the money and you got maybe a bonus check, you know is coming, but you want to grab an item. Now, I can see in some instances where it would be okay for you to get that, but I'm seeing increasingly, particularly among young adults, that they're piling up these buy now, pay later debt. Because it's debt. Please recognize that it is debt, even though you may not be paying interest on it like you do for a credit card. It is debt.
Narrator/Producer
Yeah.
Michelle Singletary
And then be very careful about signing up for store credit cards. So they come in, it's like, oh, you could get 10% off on top of the 50% you're getting off. Well, really, you're just getting into more debt. And those credit cards come with a higher interest rate. And then every time you sign up for a card, it can ding your credit score. So you want to be careful about that, particularly if you've got other cards that you definitely are not paying off the balance.
Colby EKOWICZ
Yeah. Do you recommend that people start budgeting for the holidays all year long? And we keep bringing up my parents, but I remember my mom had these envelopes that she kept in like a. It was like a porcelain, it was like a porcelain bowl that like sat in our dining room. Anyway, one said vacation, one said holidays, one said birthdays. And I think when they got their paychecks, maybe they put $5 in it. But to budget for these things as opposed to just putting all your money together in a savings account or something or spending it right away.
Michelle Singletary
Yeah.
Colby EKOWICZ
Is that something you would recommend?
Michelle Singletary
I love it. It's called the envelope system.
Narrator/Producer
Okay.
Michelle Singletary
And for a lot of people that works, right? It's a, it's a way for them to eyeball what they have. It's very effective for people because it makes sure that they live within their means. So I love that. My grandmother used the envelope system. Same thing. And she wouldn't even buy new envelopes. She would just use the junk mail envelopes and write on there, you know, whatever she was trying to save for. So I love any strategy that will help keep you within your budget and when it comes time to spend it, it's all there, right? In cash and I can spend it.
Narrator/Producer
We're going to take a quick pause and when we're back, Michelle shares some tips for how to approach hosting this holiday season. If you don't want to break the bank. We'll be right back.
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Colby EKOWICZ
I want to ask you about Thanksgiving because you had a column recently and the headline was quote, I'm on a budget, but I want to host Thanksgiving dinner. Can I charge guests? First of all, I don't know.
Michelle Singletary
Is that.
Colby EKOWICZ
Is that like an actual thing that people do?
Michelle Singletary
It's an actual.
Colby EKOWICZ
That people charge people to come to their Thanksgiving. Well, I mean, okay, let me. I want to hear your answer, but I think I could understand, like, can you split the groceries with me? Yeah, but like, like a cover charge seems a little weird.
Michelle Singletary
Basically, they're saying, I'm gonna be host. I'm gonna cook dinner, but I need you to bring money so that I can host. So they'll say, okay, we're having, you know, can you give me $25 or everybody paid me $25, but it really is a charge. Right. And I mean, it's almost like they're a restaurant. I think it's rude. I think it's not right. If you can't afford to host, don't host. You know, I mean, we should not. Guests should not pay. It's as simple as that. Now, I know, like, a lot of young people, like, you don't know what you're talking about. You know, you. Okay, Boomer. Right. But you're the host. You're inviting me into your space, and I shouldn't have to pay you to be in that space. Space. And if that means, okay, you can't afford the whole meal, I get that. Let's have a potluck.
Colby EKOWICZ
Well, I was going to say, I feel like a solution to that might be, I'll supply the turkey. Can everyone else bring the sides or something?
Michelle Singletary
Yeah, I love that, and my family and I do that. Now, to be a successful Thanksgiving potluck, you have to have a plan. You know, that's the theme for this. Right? A plan, plan, plan. And so, okay, I'm bringing the turkey. You bring this. And listen, do not bring four rolls. And, you know, there are 12 people coming. You know, do not bring the potato salad. And, you know you can't make potato salad. Right. So you tell everybody, even to the point of, if somebody doesn't cook, I don't cook. So then you handle the silverware and stuff, or the cups and the ice or the. The drinks, and it is the most fun. Everybody kind of shares the financial burden.
Colby EKOWICZ
Yeah.
Narrator/Producer
I was going to ask you, how.
Colby EKOWICZ
Do you talk about that with your friends and family? Like, how do you talk about scaling back holiday celebrations and gifts this year? Because I imagine those are really difficult conversations for people.
Michelle Singletary
It is. It is. We have such a difficult time talking about money now. I was very surprised about this, because we go online, we talking about our sex life, we talking about.
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Right.
Colby EKOWICZ
We'll talk about anything, about all kinds of stuff.
Michelle Singletary
We put our business out there. But when it comes to money, it's like silence. And so I am big on empowering people to live their financial truth. And so ahead of the holidays, you start calling people, you know, listen, I just need to get my money thing together. You don't have to give them any details. And I'm telling you about 99.9% of the time. You mentioned budget and trying to get my money together. And most people will instantly go, yeah, I know what you're talking about. And then you Actually, probably free them up because they're scared to talk about it. But once you bring it up, I know my budget, too. I have to. My emergency fund isn't where it should be. And it just releases everybody from this responsibility of spending money on each other. And for many people, not all, because there's some people who are struggling and they don't have a lot, but there are a lot of people who. What more do we need? Your husband don't need another tie.
Colby EKOWICZ
No, I know, I know.
Michelle Singletary
I don't need another scarf or bath set or lotion set.
Colby EKOWICZ
We are such a consumerist society, though. Like, we just love stuff, right? And we love accumulating stuff. And I feel like that's where you will come in and say, but you.
Michelle Singletary
Don'T need it, you don't need it, you don't need it. And listen, one year my husband and I did $100 holiday. It's actually a book called $100 Holiday by Bill McGibbett. And he said, Just spent $100 on everybody.
Colby EKOWICZ
Like, everybody fully. Like, only a hundred dollars.
Michelle Singletary
Only $100. And it was the best Christmas we ever had. Everybody in our family, except for one relative, was so relieved because we said, we're not going to spend a lot and you don't have to spend any on us. And it was the best Christmas. Now, there was relative. I'm not going to lie. He didn't speak to us till Easter, really, because.
Colby EKOWICZ
Because there wasn't. Weren't enough gifts for him.
Michelle Singletary
That's exactly right. But it was our fault because we didn't manage people's expectations. We kind of sprung it on them. Now, most people were cool with it, but we should have said ahead of time, like maybe Labor Day.
Colby EKOWICZ
Yeah, well, like you were saying, have those conversations. Let people know what to expect and not to expect from you this holiday season. There's alternatives, I guess, to having to buy everyone on your list a gift. Do you have any other tips for being able to give but not overspend?
Michelle Singletary
Yeah, you know, we joke about sort of the handwritten coupon signal for things, but it really is an effective way to give live and not overspend or spend at all. And I was a mom of three kids. You know how hard it was to find a babysitter for three kids. And if someone said, instead of buying you, you know, some sweater that. In some color that I don't like, I will take your kids one Saturday night. So you don't even have to go out, you just go upstairs and take A bath, I would have been, yay.
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Yeah.
Michelle Singletary
So things like that. Or you've got a working mom and she, like, works downtown and she's. And this was me stretching, you know, just to try to pick up my kid for a gift that you said. Listen, how about, you know, once a month I'm gonna go get your kids so that you're not stressing, trying to fight commuter traffic.
Colby EKOWICZ
I love that.
Michelle Singletary
Oh, my goodness. I would be like, that's the best gift ever. Totally. And one of my daughters is such a great chef. She is such a great cook. She gave me a certificate for three home cooked meals, and I can invite a guest, and she actually put an expiration on it, and she would buy all the ingredients and cook. And I'm telling you, it's like the best gift. And at Thanksgiving, we also do Secret Santa. So that was the other thing. Large family, lots of presents. That was getting crazy. And so now we do Secret Santa, meaning everybody picks a name. Right? And you only buy for that person. You only have to get one gift. And please, please remember that the thing that we treasure the most is time. And that's something you can't buy. Right. We don't have enough time for our friends. We're ripping and running and on our phones. But how about you come over and we have some tea and we just talk?
Colby EKOWICZ
I love that.
Michelle Singletary
That's so precious. Right? And even our kids, we talked about a lot about kids and wanting stuff. They're gonna remember the times that you might have just, you know, walked around the neighborhood and picked up pine cones or maybe you go see the Christmas tree in the community square or park or whatever. Those are the things. And I know this sounds so cryptic, but I'm going to say it anyway. That when you pass away, that's what they're going to say. Those are the stories they're going to tell.
Colby EKOWICZ
Hearing you say that my dad passed away two years ago, and you're right. I don't remember a single thing that they gave me for my birthday or for the holidays when I was a kid. But boy, do I remember, you know, drives with my dad to go get donuts in the morning or, you know, when he would be able to give me time in an otherwise really busy work week. Like, that's what I treasure and that's what I miss. So I think that's such wonderful advice.
Michelle Singletary
Yeah.
Colby EKOWICZ
Michelle, thank you so much for coming on, and I hope you have a very, very happy Thanksgiving.
Michelle Singletary
Thank you.
Narrator/Producer
Michelle Singletary is the Post's personal finance columnist. That's it for Post Reports.
Colby EKOWICZ
Thanks for listening.
Narrator/Producer
Today's show was produced by Sharla Freeland. It was mixed by Shawn Carter and edited by Reena Flores and Ted Muldoon. Thanks to Helen Fessington. I know we just spoke about not giving into Black Friday deals, but there's.
Colby EKOWICZ
One that we'd love for you to.
Narrator/Producer
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Colby EKOWICZ
Deal before it's gone.
Narrator/Producer
That's washingtonpost.com subscribe.
Colby EKOWICZ
And don't worry, Michelle Singletary would approve. I'm Cole Biekowitz.
Narrator/Producer
We'll be back tomorrow with more stories from the Washington Post.
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Podcast Summary: Post Reports
Episode Title: You can avoid overspending on the holidays. Here’s how.
Date: November 24, 2025
Host: Colby Ekowicz
Guest: Michelle Singletary (Personal Finance Columnist, The Washington Post)
In this episode, Colby Ekowicz speaks with Michelle Singletary, a renowned personal finance columnist at The Washington Post, about practical strategies for managing holiday spending. With many families feeling financially stretched due to the rising costs of essentials and ongoing economic uncertainty, Michelle offers insights on how to create meaningful holiday experiences without overspending. Topics range from tackling gift lists on a budget and avoiding holiday debt traps to hosting economical gatherings and initiating honest conversations about scaling back.
Gift-Giving as a ‘Love Language’: Michelle respects that for many, gift-giving is a cherished way to show affection, but urges discipline.
Budget-First Planning: Begin with your total available amount (“start with the amount of money”) and then allocate it across your recipients, not the other way around.
Track Purchases in Real Time: Use an index card to subtract each purchase from your total holiday budget.
Accountability Partner: Shop with a frugal friend to help you stick to your plan.
On Black Friday Sales:
“I actually see sales as like a sneaky trick to get you to spend more.” — Michelle (02:29)
On Budgeting:
“Start with the amount of money. And then you want to get an index card... so you’re constantly keeping track of how much you have.” — Michelle (06:32)
On Holiday Debt:
“If you have to use ‘buy now, pay later’ for the holidays, you probably can’t afford the gifts you’re getting... it is debt.” — Michelle (11:23)
On Managing Children’s Expectations:
“Don’t underestimate the ability of your children to understand the situation... what I can give you, I’ll try. But the most important thing is that I love you and want to create a safe home for you.” — Michelle (09:48)
On No-Pay Thanksgiving:
“If you can’t afford to host, don’t host... guests should not pay. It’s as simple as that.” — Michelle (16:50)
On Bringing Up Budget Limits:
“Once you bring it up... it just releases everybody from this responsibility of spending money on each other.” — Michelle (18:49)
On Gifting Time:
“Please remember that the thing we treasure the most is time. And that’s something you can’t buy.” — Michelle (22:53)
Michelle’s approach is empathetic, pragmatic, slightly humorous, and always direct—she encourages listeners to be realistic, kind to themselves, and to prioritize relationships over “stuff.” The conversation is warm, practical, and reassuring, offering listeners permission to simplify, scale back, and enjoy the season with less stress.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone anxious about holiday spending, seeking budget-friendly gift strategies, or wanting to create meaningful moments without financial regret.