Pour Minds Podcast

Episode: "Doing The Most"

Date: November 7, 2025
Hosts: Drea Nicole & Lex P
Guest: Toddie (bartender, business owner)

Episode Overview

This lively solo episode of Pour Minds is an intimate, wine-fueled journey through Drea and Lex’s current mindsets, lessons in passion and hustle, juicy friend drama, reading habits, and steamy relationship red flags. They’re joined by Toddie, who brings bar wisdom and insight into business. Expect trademark humor, raw honesty, and “drunk therapy” girl talk—the perfect wind-down for anyone who wants to feel like they just hung out with their hilarious, unfiltered friends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Value (and Limits) of Passion

[04:33–16:48]

• Lex on Reality TV & Career Passion:
  Lex opens with stories about bingeing "Bar Rescue" and how hosts like Jon Taffer exemplify fierce passion (and questionable fashion).

  • “He used to dress like a TGI Fridays manager.” (06:30)

• Passion vs. Drive:
  Both hosts reflect on their careers as bartenders—Lex had the “passion for drinking, not for bartending,” while Draya admits bartending was always about the money, never passion (“I just used to be trying to make my money and go home.” 08:12).

• Pour Minds = Real Passion:

  • “Poor Minds is going to be what makes me a millionaire first.” (10:02)
  • Draya contrasts her less fiery cosmetics brand (Muse Beauty) with the magnetic pull of podcasting, declaring this her true calling.

• Lex on Trying and Moving On:
  “If I'm gonna do something, I' ma go in. I'm gonna go hard until I can't no more. Then I'll move on to the next thing.” (11:22)

Notable Quote

“When I start something, anything I do, I want to be the best at it. And you not going to stop me.” — Lex (14:48)

2. Bartending, Business, and the Joy of the Craft

[16:51–18:47]

• Toddie’s Path:
  Toddie describes discovering her passion for craft cocktails at The James Room in Atlanta, shifting from “just drinking” to building a business and seeking a niche.

  • “That craft cocktail element changed the game for me… The James Room taught me everything.” (18:10)

• Lex: Chasing Knowledge Never Ends:
  Lex relates this to wine, podcasting, and media—you can never know everything and that’s the real thrill.

  • “You'll never know everything about wine. There’s no end of the road…” (19:48)

3. The Importance of Lifelong Learning

[19:36–31:34]

• Being a ‘Student of Life’:
  All three discuss how they fall down Wikipedia rabbit holes, love to read both for self-help and for leisure, and are fascinated by random knowledge.

  • “I love to be knowledgeable… that’s why I’m always reading books and articles.” — Draya (20:27)

• Book Snobbery & Reading for Fun:
  Playful shade at people who only read basic self-help books (“48 Laws of Power,” “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”).

  • “If you say that’s the last book you read, I know you don’t be reading for real.” — Draya (28:10)

• Switch to Romance & Fiction:
  Draya and Lex confess to rediscovering the pleasure of fiction—from Nicholas Sparks to spicy Zane novels.

  • “Sometimes reading will take you to a whole other dimension!” — Draya (33:07)

4. Topic: Can Your Homegirl Be Too Flirty with Your Man?

[35:40–47:00]

• Lex’s Take:
  Most of Lex’s friends aren’t flirty, and if a woman’s getting too flirty, it’s “deeper than that”—she probably wants your life.

  • “Is she your friend, or does she want to be you?” (36:46)

• Draya’s Take:
  Monitoring spirits exist (friends that obsessively mirror your choices). It’s a major red flag if a friend tries to cross lines, but Draya tends to give people enough rope: “I like to give people the freedom to do and be exactly who the fuck you gonna be. And if you do something to disappoint me… then let me remove you from my life.” (40:51)

• Storytime:
  Lex recounts a close friend openly dating (and tripping with) Lex’s ex BDB (Big Dick Baller), after Lex vented about him—confirming that weird energy doesn’t lie.

  • “I looked up and they in the Maldives together—not fucking LA, not New York… a whole trip!” (45:13)

Memorable Moment

“She’s a jealous bitch. She’s a weirdo.” — Draya (46:26)

• Toddie’s Anecdote:
  Even casual acquaintances can cross the line by exchanging numbers with your man, and it’s about intent—if it’s secretive, it’s shady.

5. Destiny Swapping, Spiritual Protection, & Karma

[52:29–55:54]

• Discussion of "destiny swapping"—friends or people who try to take your place or luck through envy or even spiritual means.

  • “It's called destiny swapping. They will really try to do that.” — Lex (53:09)

• Draya argues such tactics don’t work on people “locked in with God”: “The God I serve, He’s just not going to let certain things even come in my path or happen to me.” (54:09)

6. Faith, Hoodoo, Astrology & Ancestral Protection

[55:54–58:01]

• Lex’s family story about hoodoo (folk magic) healing her sister’s nosebleeds.
• Tension (and acceptance) between traditional faith, astrology, and ancestor veneration.
  • “All I do is praise God and mind my business.” — Lex (57:09)

7. Intuition vs. Insecurity: Sensing Friend or Partner Betrayal

[58:09–61:35]

• The group distinguishes intuition (an internal “knowing”) from insecurity (provoked by others’ actions).

  • “You can have a spirit of discernment… but I think it’s the action that makes it become an insecurity.” — Toddie (58:51)

• Context matters, and whether someone is just generally “doing the most” or specifically seeking your partner’s attention.

  • “If you only start doing it when the n*ggas is around—now I’m suspicious!” — Draya (61:01)

8. “Why Boring Sex Might Be a Red Flag”

[62:39–78:08]

• What Counts as Boring Sex:
  “No effort. No passion. Just going through the motions. Predictable.” (63:57)
• Lex: It’s a Red Flag!
  “It should bring out an adventure in you… climb this mountain and get to work!” (74:22)
• Draya: Not Necessarily—Some Folks Just Have Wack Chemistry:
  “Some people just wack—and some people coochie wack too!” (64:09)
• Spark Matters:
  “If you and this person are locked in, then it’s not gonna be boring sex… As long as the spark is there. That only happens when you lose the spark.” — Draya (78:03)

Memorable Moment

“If a man don’t do this about me when he sees my booty hole… If you don’t see this glory hole and go berserk!” — Lex (77:55)

9. The Bop of the Week

[80:18–85:38]

• Lex’s Pick: "Tie You Down" by HAIM feat. Bon Iver — “Let’s be depressed and cry in front of a fireplace. Let’s bring back the sad music!” (81:06)
• Draya’s Pick: "Lady" by D’Angelo — Touching on the recent deaths of D’Angelo and beloved soul artists—“Life is so fragile, you have to cherish the moment...” (82:24)

10. Pour Your Heart Out: Listener Letters

[86:25–99:45, assorted]

• Q1: Icks in Dating:
  Examples like “moaning while eating,” “losing self-control while drunk.” Hosts agree: everyone has icks, but they don’t always mean deal breakers unless the ick is something serious.

  • “If a person checks off 8 to 10 of your list, keep it.” — Lex (89:38)

• Q2: 31yo Virgin Struggling to Date:
  Advice: Don’t make sex the focus or announce virginity up front. Let genuine connection develop.

  • “Just date like a normal person. Sex is not even something I want to talk about when I'm getting to know you.” — Lex (91:41)
  • “A man who is really trying to get to know you, he not gonna bring it up all the time. He know it’s gonna come eventually.” — Draya (92:49)
  • “Men will give you the green light when they ready to… You don't have to do the most.” — Draya (92:58)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Lex on Passion vs. Drive:
  “When I start something, anything I do, I want to be the best at it. And you not going to stop me…” (14:48)

• Draya keeps it real:
  “I just used to be trying to make my money and go home.” (08:12)

• The monitoring spirits monologue:
  “People be having monitoring spirits…as soon as you get it now they gotta get it.” (38:38)

• Lex’s legendary lines:
  “If you don’t see this glory hole and go berserk…” (77:55)

• Draya nails the ick topic:
  “Men be narcissistic, they be sociopathic, and you give a fuck about a nigga moaning while he eat?” (89:41)

Timeline: Important Segments

• 00:36: [Conversation starts after ads]
• 04:33: On finding passion and “Bar Rescue”
• 16:51: Toddie’s craft cocktail journey
• 19:36: Lifelong learning, being a “student of life”
• 31:34: Leisure reading, from self-help to romance
• 35:40: Can your homegirl be too flirty with your man?
• 52:29: Destiny swapping and spiritual protection
• 55:54: Hoodoo, astrology, and family magic stories
• 58:09: Intuition vs. insecurity in relationships
• 62:39: Boring sex as a red flag (with hilarious tangents)
• 80:18: Bop of the week (music picks & tributes)
• 86:25: Listener questions: “icks” and dating as an older virgin

Authentic Tone & Style

The tone is uproarious, candid, and Southern-fried real—full of playful shade, NSFW quips (often escalating into wild digressions), and empowering advice. Drea and Lex use humor to tackle real issues, never shying away from uncomfortable truths or personal vulnerability.

Final Takeaways

Doing The Most is both a testament to the power of friendship and finding joy in your own lane, as well as a riotous, down-to-earth reminder to never stop chasing knowledge, checking your friend group, and demanding what you deserve in love and the bedroom.

“Give the people what they need. Stop trying to do all the extra stuff. Give the people what they came here for.” — Lex (27:43)

“If I take off my clothes and you don’t be like this—wasn’t Smokey the Bear friendly?—you need to act like a wild animal when I take off my clothes.” — Lex & Draya (77:17–77:27)

For anyone who needs a boost of confidence, laughs, or raw advice—this is unmissable.

[Summary excludes all ads, music rights, and repetitive outro segments.]