Hey Holy

Summary

Pour Minds Podcast: "Hey Holy" - Episode Summary

Podcast: Pour Minds
Hosts: Dre Nicole & Lex P
Episode: "Hey Holy"
Release Date: May 22, 2026
Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

In this lively and candid episode, hosts Drea Nicole and Lex P, two single Houstonians living in Atlanta, dive into topics of friendship, relationships, personal boundaries, healing after betrayal, the evolving role of women, and the dynamics of platonic relationships with men. True to the Pour Minds brand, the discussion mixes raw honesty, humor, and life advice—like a "drunk therapy session" among friends—with tangents about music, their strict personal programs, and memorable storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. God Removes to Replace—Letting Go and Personal Growth

• Letting Go for Better: The episode opens with a reflection on how, every time you let go of something not serving you—whether it’s a toxic friend, a relationship, or a job—something better always comes (“God always removes to replace”).
• Being Ready for Change: Drea and Lex talk about how praying for clarity or resolution can lead to confronting the truth, and you must be prepared for the change that comes with it.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 03:06): “Anytime he removes somebody from your life…you might think you’re making the decision, but you never really in the driver’s seat. That’s why sometimes it feel like your hand be being forced…because it is.”
• Growth After Pain: Drea shares that although taking the high road or letting go can hurt, in the long run it’s never your loss.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 33:50): “It’s never my loss because I know who I am…you might not realize it initially, but you’re gonna realize it indefinitely. It’s your loss.”

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2. The "Strict Program"—Boundaries in Life, Friendships, and Business

• Running a Tight Ship: Both hosts and guest Ty discuss how strict their personal “programs” are, especially as earth signs; they don’t play when it comes to boundaries in business, health, and relationships.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 39:08): “Personally my shit is strict as fuck. I don’t think nobody’s program is more strict than fucking earth signs.”
• Balance in Business vs. Personal Life: Lex contrasts her unwavering standards in her work (never misses an upload, always professional) with her forgiving and lenient approach in personal/family relationships.
  • Quote (Lex P, 43:00): “When it comes to my schedule, as far as my job, consistency is something that’s just light work to me. Consistency is really what keeps me going.”
• Why Women Shouldn’t Fear being ‘The Bitch’: Drea stresses it’s necessary to be assertive, especially as a woman in business—pointing out the double standard where assertive men are celebrated, while women are labeled.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 61:28): “If a man does those same characteristics and he runs a strict program…we’re worshiping the ground he walks on. He’s such a great businessman….it’s just a complete double standard.”

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3. Public Betrayal—Should You Blast a Cheating Partner?

• To Expose or Not?: Lex and Drea debate whether it’s worth exposing a cheating partner on social media. Drea prefers to take her “L” privately, believing blasting someone offers only temporary satisfaction, doesn’t change outcomes long-term, and can bring regret if you later reconcile.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 21:56): “You could just take your L in private, go about your business. Nobody gonna know what happened. Now you done alerted everybody.”
• Lex’s Two-Sided Take: Lex admits she usually stays private not out of dignity, but because “I’m going back”—but also expresses that sometimes men should be exposed:
  • Quote (Lex P, 25:17): “If a woman wants to blast somebody, do whatever you feel you need to do. Because sometimes the world needs to know that you are a fucked up person. I’m not letting the world think you a good dude. ’Cause you not.”
• Double Standard & Aftermath: They discuss how women are harshly judged for publicizing betrayals, while men rarely face real repercussions. The reputational damage is often temporary except in rare cases.

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4. Platonic Relationships—Do You Genuinely Like Men?

• Women & Men as Friends: The hosts challenge the “man vs. woman” internet discourse by discussing the value of having genuine male friends. Both value platonic relationships with men—seeing men as honest friends, not just sexual or financial partners.
  • Quote (Drea Nicole, 68:36): “Yeah, I like. I actually like men for so many other reasons outside of sex. ’Cause they really don’t be great at that…Men are great friends. They honest, they loyal, they gonna tell you the truth.”
  • Quote (Lex P, 71:14): “I think that if more people value platonic friendships with the opposite sex, we would not be in the same shit we are in now with this man vs. woman conversation.”
• Lessons from Male Friends: Drea credits her uncles and dad for showing her how men’s perspectives can be grounding and revealing, especially when it comes to relationships.

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5. Sex as a Solution—Why Are Men Always Ready Even in Bad Times?

• Insensitive Advances: Drea brings up men’s tendency to want sex even in the worst circumstances—after grief or during stress. Lex and Drea agree it’s often the only tool some men have.
  • Quote (Lex P, 85:10): “If a man sees you going through it, he be like, ‘Well, let me slide through and make you feel better.’ N**** what?”
• Comfort vs. Sex: Lex shares she doesn’t want sex as comfort during hard times, preferring actual support and care:
  • Quote (Lex P, 85:59): “I don’t know what I wanted. A hug, maybe…Turn on the office, bring me a plate of beans and hold me. That would’ve made me so fucking happy.”

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6. Pressures on Successful Women—Assertiveness, ‘Niceness’ and Perceptions

• Asserting Power: The hosts unpack how successful or assertive women are treated differently from men, noting the expectation for women to be polite and ‘soft,’ whereas men are celebrated for being direct.
• Personal & Family Lessons: Drea draws on her mother’s experience—always kind but often taken advantage of—which led her to value kindness but also to know when to be strict.

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7. Pour Your Heart Out — Listener Advice Segment

[1:36:05] "Sam, go home to your man!"

• Listener dilemma: Should I tell my friend Sam that her ex is interested in her friend Jamie, even though Sam is now in a committed relationship?
  • Lex: Advises to prioritize what really matters (‘go home to your man’) and not to stir unnecessary drama, especially when the friend’s current relationship provides more stability.

[1:43:33] "Pick ONE approach!"

• Listener question: A highly ambitious woman seeks advice on how to juggle multiple business ventures and creative projects.
  • Drea: Advises her to pick one pursuit, excel there, then branch out. Trying to do everything at once generally results in less progress overall.
  • Lex: Emphasizes focusing resources and avoiding stretching oneself too thin.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On letting go:
  • Drea Nicole (54:08): “God always removes to replace. And when you realize that, you just be more. That was a good one. I’m telling y’all, this to replace.”
• On why she doesn’t blast men who do her wrong:
  • Drea Nicole (21:36): “Doing that, I don’t think it does anything. It might make you feel better in the moment…But it didn’t change anything in that person’s life. It didn’t really change anything in my life.”
• On unnecessary drama:
  • Lex P (102:46): “Why are you worried about James? Girl, go home to your man.”
• On platonic friendships:
  • Lex P (77:39): “We need to value each other as human beings again. That’s what we really are missing.”
• On male support during tough times:
  • Lex P (85:59): “Turn on the office, bring me a plate of beans and hold me. That would’ve made me so fucking happy.”
• Final Toast:
  • Lex P (67:48): “Cheers. Since we almost done, Ty, go ahead and give me another shot.”

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

| Topic | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | "God removes to replace" (personal growth) | 03:06, 54:08 | | On whether to expose cheaters | 20:24 – 34:38 | | How strict is your program? (boundaries, earth signs) | 38:34 – 47:51 | | Platonic friendships—do you really like men? | 68:00 – 82:10 | | Why do men want sex at the worst times? | 84:03 – 91:06 | | Pour Your Heart Out (Listener Advice) | 96:05 – 110:35 |

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Episode Tone & Energy

• Vibe: Candid, hilarious, supportive, and occasionally petty.
• Language: Unfiltered, relatable, sometimes explicit—resembling an honest group chat.
• Chemistry: Drea and Lex effortlessly riff off each other, using personal stories, inside jokes, and musical improvisations to keep things light but insightful.

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Takeaways

• Letting go clears space for better things; trust the process, even if it hurts.
• Maintaining strict boundaries, especially as a woman, is not about being mean—it’s about self-respect and self-care.
• Sometimes taking the high road after betrayal is best, but exposing cheaters is valid if it feels necessary.
• Platonic friendships with men can be rewarding and provide crucial perspective.
• Don’t try to do it all at once; focus on one goal and allow your success to build on itself.
• Authenticity, self-love, and setting boundaries are central themes throughout.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

If you want to laugh, reflect, and get genuine “drunk therapy” insights on relationships, boundaries, and bossing up—while listening to two friends hype each other up and break into song—this episode is the ultimate Pour Minds experience.

Transcript

[Dre Nicole]

This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.

[Wheezy]

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[Dre Nicole]

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[Lex P]

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[Lex P]

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[Lex P]

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[Dre Nicole]

you can always find better it never been A time where I didn't find something better after I let some bullshit go.

[Lex P]

And you know what I got to say to that?

[Dre Nicole]

What?

[Lex P]

Hey. Holy hey. That was a word.

[Dre Nicole]

But seriously, though, I'm for real. No, for real friend. I know. It's like it's never been a time. God. God always removes to replace. And when you realize that, you just be more.

[Lex P]

That was a good one. I'm telling y' all this to replace.

[Dre Nicole]

I'm writing that down. Anytime he removes somebody from your life, cuz I. It's always God. Like, you might think you're making the decision, but you never really in the driver's seat. That's why sometimes it feel like your hand be being forced with stuff. Because it is.

[Lex P]

Oh, my God, yes.

[Dre Nicole]

Because it is. And God will sometimes allow things to keep happening to you with a friend or whatever, until you be like, you know what? Let me get rid of her ass. Because it's just not good. It's not a good situation for me to be in. Nothing good is coming from this. I gotta get rid of her. And it's like sometimes you'll feel like, well, why do this keep happening with this person? Because you won't let them go.

[Lex P]

And it'll get worse, too. When you pray on it.

[Dre Nicole]

It'll get worse for you.

[Lex P]

When you pray on it and you ask for an answer.

[Dre Nicole]

You gotta be careful with that prayer. You gotta be ready for that prayer.

[Lex P]

You have to be ready.

[Dre Nicole]

As soon as you say it, everything is gonna literally come out, which is gonna be right in your face.

[Lex P]

It's gonna. You gotta confront it. I agree.

[Dre Nicole]

And then we be like. But not this way, but be like,

[Lex P]

hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Dre Nicole]

Well, I ain't want it to happen like this, but you pray for it.

[Lex P]

You pray for it. And then sometimes you pray, and then things just be like, okay, you see the light. And so I think it's. You got to be prepared, either or. Cuz if you pray for it and starts getting better, you have to be prepared to change as well.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah,

[Lex P]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's

[Dre Nicole]

your girl Dre Nicole.

[Lex P]

And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds, where a drunk

[Dre Nicole]

mind speaks sober thoughts.

[Lex P]

We ain't got no guests today. We ain't got no guests today. What did I make?

[Dre Nicole]

What voice was that?

[Lex P]

Duh. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Who is they?

[Lex P]

Me. I'm trying to find my voice, so when I get to the stew, I sound unique.

[Dre Nicole]

How you doin?

[Lex P]

We ain't got no guests today. Yeah, what's up? It's your girl Lex P on the track. Put me on the stage and you know, I throw it back. Ow.

[Dre Nicole]

Okay, so are you gonna try to give like salt and pepper.

[Lex P]

Yes.

[Dre Nicole]

Mixed with Tina Turner. Bitch, you could leave that in the stool. Oh, God.

[Lex P]

But you never know.

[Dre Nicole]

Leave it.

[Lex P]

See, people be saying they don't see the vision until they see the vision. People gonna be in the club like, huh, huh.

[Dre Nicole]

Hey, I don't think so though. Cause they've done it before. Actually, they ain't done it like that. Two separate artists.

[Lex P]

They ain't done it like that.

[Dre Nicole]

Two separate people did that before. Now you trying, they haven't. Cause nobody has ever merged and meshed the two. But it's also 20, 26. I don't know if the new kids would like that.

[Lex P]

They gonna bring it back. I'm telling you. They finna make TikTok videos.

[Dre Nicole]

Him.

[Lex P]

Here she come with this bullshit.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause hey hey, hey hey ho.

[Lex P]

Hey ho. We need to bring back hey ho.

[Dre Nicole]

We don't need to bring back hey ho.

[Lex P]

Hey. I love hey ho.

[Dre Nicole]

Wasn't even popping when I was clubbing.

[Lex P]

So we don't need to bring it back. It wasn't popping when I was clubbing either. But that shit lit. It's nice. Yes, huh.

[Dre Nicole]

It's a reason why we left it. Well, why they left it, I think

[Lex P]

we just grew up out of it.

[Dre Nicole]

No, they left it like. I think they should lift that shit in the 80s hip hop.

[Lex P]

Hooray. That shit fire. That shit is fire. Cause they was probably saying hey to the hoes. Hey ho.

[Dre Nicole]

I don't know, I just think some stuff needs to be left.

[Lex P]

Okay.

[Dre Nicole]

Where it's at. And I think you just need to, you know, come up with all the sound.

[Lex P]

I did come up with my own sound.

[Dre Nicole]

That shit sound like you about to fucking hiccups. It sound like you need a glass of water, bitch.

[Lex P]

Hey, but you know I'm coming. When they hear that shit, we can't miss you. But you know it's gonna start real low on the track. No, like a build up. It's gonna get louder and louder.

[Dre Nicole]

Maybe that could work for a hip hop gospel track. Cause that's what that sound.

[Lex P]

Well, I wanna twerk. So it can't be a gospel trick.

[Dre Nicole]

Cuz these days a lot of the gospel music is very, very catchy.

[Lex P]

Maybe you think Kev on stage.

[Dre Nicole]

I mean, gospel music has always been catchy. But I feel like they're making it more for people who don't want to listen to secular music.

[Lex P]

Oh, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

So they're still. They're making it to where it kind of sounds like hip hop. Some of you.

[Lex P]

Oh. So I can say, hey, holy. Hey. Holy. Okay. I'm mixing it up on they ass. I'm telling you.

[Dre Nicole]

Oop. I'm not supposed to say that, but it could work.

[Lex P]

I mean, from my Obstacle album.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, I mean, it's work. It could work for you, though. I think if anybody could pull it off, you could.

[Lex P]

That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna have Kev on st. I think he can rap. He got a voice that sounds like he could do he. I don't know. We'll try it out. Try it out.

[Wheezy]

Try it out.

[Dre Nicole]

But I do. Okay. Try out the Lord. Oh, it could be your first single.

[Lex P]

You know, I just think.

[Dre Nicole]

Try him out.

[Lex P]

We are stepping into an era of just doing things out of the ordinary. Right? But before we get into the topics today, I have a question. Right now, we are in an era of social media, obviously, and people like to. What's. Giggling.

[Dre Nicole]

I'm not gonna say it. I'm gonna wait.

[Lex P]

What?

[Dre Nicole]

Cause you know how we just finished. You know how you just finished talking about God and then you think about something inappropriate?

[Lex P]

You gotta wait at least five minutes.

[Dre Nicole]

I know. So that's why I don't wanna say. Go ahead. I think it's. Do you remember that song by Trina. Dee Gonna have to bleep out so much stuff. You don't remember that song? I got a. Oh, that was. Nevermind.

[Lex P]

What's. Who was it?

[Dre Nicole]

It was Trina.

[Lex P]

Well, what she said.

[Dre Nicole]

But you said, I got a question. And I was gonna say, I got a question. I love the Major.

[Lex P]

That song by Trina. No,

[Dre Nicole]

except you went, I got a problem. You do know that.

[Lex P]

I don't. I promise. Yes, you do. I don't remember.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, you do. She had a song. It was like, I got a problem. And then she would whisper, I love.

[Lex P]

You know what, though?

[Dre Nicole]

No, bitch, you actually do got a problem.

[Lex P]

You know what, though?

[Dre Nicole]

That song was so horny.

[Lex P]

Remember Minuteman by Missy? That was horny too. She was like, uh, one minute, two minutes.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause who moaning like that? Karina.

[Lex P]

No, I'm saying, but who moaning like that? She said, hell not to please me. You gotta sleep in it.

[Dre Nicole]

She was on that bed.

[Lex P]

Yes. Break me off. Show me what you got. Then Ludacris said, Ludacris the maintenance man, bro.

[Dre Nicole]

You think from back in the day was so questionable. And we Used to be really fun.

[Lex P]

It was. We didn't know no better. Neither did they.

[Dre Nicole]

Like, I do wonderful part, though.

[Lex P]

What? When she was moaning.

[Dre Nicole]

But it's like they didn't know better. Neither did we. Like, I always wonder if artists be embarrassed sometimes by some of their old music.

[Lex P]

1000% never mind.

[Dre Nicole]

Wait, that's not music. That was not. No, it wasn't. That wasn't on no album.

[Lex P]

But I'm just saying,

[Dre Nicole]

y' all heard her. She was loud as hell. They probably heard her too. Dee gonna have to bleach that too.

[Lex P]

But no, I feel like. I mean, it's just like us looking at old episodes. Like, we look at old episodes and be like, what the actual fuck? So I'm pretty sure that they look at old videos. I think the only person I'm trying to think, but that was a Bob.

[Dre Nicole]

I don't want no mini boy.

[Lex P]

Imma make you love me.

[Dre Nicole]

It was a vibe.

[Lex P]

Missy can look back and be like, eight, eight, eight. Rihanna can look back eight, eight, eight. Beyonce. Like, it's. Some people, they. They didn't really have. They didn't have no miss. They didn't miss. Like, they didn't miss. Like, it aged very fucking well. Like, I can't say there's anything that I look back on, like, why did she do that? Or why did she say that? Missy was an innovator. And sometimes I be really, like, when y' all have y' all Mount Rushmore conversations or whatever y' all be doing, the way I already know. You don't know what you're talking about. If you don't say Missy Elliott lets me know everything I need to know about your music taste. Everything I need to know, I think. But we're in the generation of, like, the Stan wars, so people get caught up in that. Am I gonna say Nicki or am I gonna say Lil Kim? Or am I who. You know what I'm saying.

[Dre Nicole]

But why do we have to choose one?

[Lex P]

Cause you can say both.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. I never really been a person that chooses anybody. I like everybody.

[Lex P]

I like them all.

[Dre Nicole]

No, but if I did ever have to pick Beyonce over everybody else.

[Lex P]

No shade, but who would you pick over Beyonce.

[Dre Nicole]

But, you know, it's people out there who are so hell bent and committed to not liking Beyonce that they would quite literally choose anyone over her and say that anybody is a better artist, which I think is absolutely diabolical.

[Lex P]

But that's hate.

[Dre Nicole]

It is, but, yeah. Cause who would you pick?

[Lex P]

Only person I'll give a slide for is they Say Michael Jackson.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

If they say, my favorite, the best artist of all time, other than Beyonce, even if you don't listen to her music, you can appreciate the artistry for sure.

[Dre Nicole]

And I think that's what I was saying, too. It's just putting people against each other. Like, even with Beyonce and Michael Jackson, you can say, oh, I think Michael Jackson is the greatest artist of all time. But I don't necessarily think that you can compare him and Beyonce, because they're different. They make different types of music.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

And, I mean, she's a woman, he's a man. I don't really think they're comparable in a lot of ways, but I do get why people talk about them in the conversation of the greats. But again, even with Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson is, like, he was of a different time in generation than Beyonce.

[Lex P]

Rip Mike.

[Dre Nicole]

So there's that. And then even. But Michael Jackson, he. I just would have. I would love to have known what type of music he would have been coming out with right now, because he was very much a transformer.

[Lex P]

Oh, yeah, he was definitely gonna be.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause you rock my world. Like, his musical sound has started to change a lot before he died.

[Lex P]

So he probably would have came on Poor Minds.

[Dre Nicole]

He definitely would have came on Poor Minds for sure. And we would have been in this bitch. He.

[Lex P]

He.

[Dre Nicole]

Full guard. Y' all want to see me, fan girl? Oh, my God. Michael Jackson on the couch.

[Lex P]

Have you ever.

[Dre Nicole]

I would have wore my socks and everything.

[Lex P]

Have you ever fangirled glove? Yeah. Yeah. You got to. Have you ever had a fangirl moment?

[Dre Nicole]

No, I haven't, because I haven't met anybody. Like, the only person I feel like I would fangirl over is Beyonce.

[Lex P]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

And I've never actually met her. I told you how I was in the club with her that time.

[Lex P]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

And she was in the section across from me at Griffin. But this is, like, 10 years ago. This was 2015. Because Beyonce ain't about to be in no club with us in 2026.

[Lex P]

Definitely not.

[Dre Nicole]

But this is like, back in the day, she was in the club. It was her, Angie, some old people. And it was All Star Weekend 2015, and my girl was in the section right across from us. I still got a picture.

[Lex P]

Yeah, I showed you the picture.

[Dre Nicole]

I still got a picture in my phone. So it's like, I wasn't really. I couldn't believe she was there. But I'm also in a club, and it's lit up. And you had. Yeah, and I had my people with me, and she had hers. So we was just so far from each other. It was one of them moments. And I'm good at reading the room.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

I wasn't about to try to be

[Lex P]

like, oh, my God, Beyonce.

[Dre Nicole]

Can I get a picture? But, yeah. That's probably the only person I would just ever fangirl inside, though.

[Lex P]

Yeah. You wouldn't act like that. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause even still, to this day, I feel like when we do meet Beyonce, I'm gonna be like, cool, but inside. Yeah.

[Lex P]

I'm gonna try not to sing.

[Dre Nicole]

Sing what?

[Lex P]

Give her a bar.

[Dre Nicole]

I ain't got nothing.

[Lex P]

No, I'm gonna sing an original piece. She gonna be like, you know, she loved the funky beats.

[Dre Nicole]

She gonna ask you, can she use it?

[Lex P]

Put me on the track. Let's do it together. She gonna like that shit. She gonna see the. If anybody gonna see the. She gonna come out next tour, and I'm gonna be in the back like this. I can't wait.

[Dre Nicole]

Okay, bro.

[Lex P]

Okay. Let me get back.

[Dre Nicole]

Who are you? Who do you feel like you a fangirl over?

[Lex P]

Who would I. Well, I did have a fangirl moment, but I didn't act on it. It was on the inside when I met Rihanna at Dreams a long time ago. Fangirl moment, probably Fetty Wap, if I'm being honest.

[Dre Nicole]

I do this for. Oh, my God. Somebody the other day had put that shit on a fucking reel, and I forgot how good that fucking song was. And I was like, okay, what? Maybe Lex is on or something. Do you remember that song Fetty Wap had? My nigga stuck that money just to spend it, girl.

[Lex P]

Archie Island.

[Dre Nicole]

I do this for my spot. I do this for my gang. I was like, okay, maybe Lex is right.

[Lex P]

Maybe Fetty Wap is one of the

[Dre Nicole]

greatest vocalists of all time.

[Lex P]

I mean, he sings. You know how many people tagged me? Him and Monty just did a little

[Dre Nicole]

thing, and they was, oh, I sent it to you. Cause I was like, you was asking. And there he go.

[Lex P]

He gonna say that she was looking for me. There I go.

[Dre Nicole]

Monty's doing just fine.

[Lex P]

I didn't say he wasn't. It was a joke. I love me some Monty.

[Dre Nicole]

It's like you was low key trying to play Monty.

[Lex P]

No, I wasn't. It's like, you can't love Batman if you don't love Robin. You know what I'm saying?

[Dre Nicole]

I don't know.

[Lex P]

Yes. Yes. So Fetty Wap, I would probably fangirl after. That's. Yeah. Viola Davis. I would probably have a Heart attack. If I met Viola Davis, she's, like, literally one of my favorite actresses. And who else?

[Dre Nicole]

I just feel like I might fangirl a little bit on the inside when I meet Oprah.

[Lex P]

You know what?

[Dre Nicole]

I love Oprah.

[Lex P]

If I met Oprah, because I literally. It would probably be, like, surreal. I probably would be, like, so quiet. Cause I don't know what to say. It be crazy, though, because I met Cheryl Underwood this past weekend, and we was having a key, and she was so, like, down to earth and cool. I'd be like, I cannot believe. I be in these rooms, like, talking to people, and they be like, oh, hey. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's crazy. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

So, yeah, I ain't gonna lie. I love me some Oprah. Like, she's just so inspiring in so many ways, and she's just so full of wisdom.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Anytime she do an interview, I be like, she's just so wise and beautiful. It is about Oprah, too.

[Lex P]

I think Oprah would embrace us as well, because we're, like, of the times right now. And I think she would definitely give us some good advice and be like, I like what y' all are doing. She probably will really fuck with what we do.

[Dre Nicole]

I think so, too. She will fuck with the movie.

[Lex P]

Yeah, I don't think she would sit down on the couch.

[Dre Nicole]

Well, I mean, to be fair, she doesn't really do interviews.

[Lex P]

Yeah, she's the interviewee, not the interviewer.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, she's never really been a person who does, like, a. A lot of interviews. Like, maybe every once in a while, and then she does, like. You know, she has her pocket. Maybe she'll let us come on her podcast, though.

[Lex P]

Ty gotta be there. Make her some drinks. Yeah, I would. Whatever you want. We gonna have Oprah lit. I'm a fan girl over Oprah, too. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh, my God. Yay. And Will Smith would be a lot. She's just so cool.

[Lex P]

Will Smith. Now, I'm not Jamie Foxx. Jamie. Now, I'm not kidding. Jamie Foxx has commented on one of our videos before laughing.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, yes.

[Lex P]

Now, Jamie Foxx, 1,000% would definitely come on the podcast.

[Dre Nicole]

I think so.

[Lex P]

Like, 1000%. And then we gonna. All you gotta do is play that song, and he gonna pop up. Are you gang? Gang? I be outside on my gang, gang. He play that song 13 times a day, bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh, my God.

[Lex P]

If you play it loud enough, he gonna walk in the studio right now.

[Dre Nicole]

I didn't know what song you was talking about. I'm about to say what? Dj, play a love song.

[Lex P]

Okay, you know what? We have spent too much on this.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause he might pop up if you play that too.

[Lex P]

Him and Eva Marfield, who was rapping on that song.

[Dre Nicole]

That wasn't somebody. Oh, he said was. Now remember, Eva was the main girl.

[Lex P]

Yes. In the video, Eva's still fine too.

[Dre Nicole]

She is.

[Lex P]

Shout out to Eva.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes.

[Lex P]

But I was trying to ask you a question before we got off. Led astray.

[Dre Nicole]

It happens.

[Lex P]

Do you feel like if a man cheated on you, like, you would just be like, you know what? Let me just take my L in silence or move on? Or like, would you post and be like, yeah. Especially if he tries to present himself as, like, a good man and everybody just likes him. Would you care about just moving on or would you put him on blast? I don't know.

[Dre Nicole]

I've always been, like a very private person in general with my relationships and my personal life. So I don't know that I would blast him. Especially at this age.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Like, I just will probably move on with my life. Because one thing about it too, doing that, I don't think it does anything. I don't think it does anything. Like, it's not going to. I mean, it might make you feel better in the moment. And I say this too, as somebody who kind of have did something like that before back in the day on our show, I. I don't know that it did anything, though.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Other than made me feel better in the moment. But it didn't change anything in that person's life. It didn't really change anything in my life. Like, it's just kind of that instant gratification thing. But then if it's also not your character to be a person that does something like that afterwards, you just feel really icky for doing it because you. Like, I hate that I even let somebody bring me out of character. At least that's how I feel. I was like, why the fuck I even did that? Gave me attention to this for real. Because, like, it didn't deserve my attention in that way, you know? So I don't know. I think it's just kind of

[Lex P]

you

[Dre Nicole]

doing yourself a disservice. Cause then you could just take your L in private, go about your business, Nobody know. Nobody gonna know what happened now you done alerted everybody. Not everybody knows. So then too, what if you change your mind and you decide to start back talking to the person? Then now the world know and you can't even enjoy. Even if you've forgiven them, you can't Even enjoy your relationship in peace again. And it's okay to forgive people, too, if you want to. Like, if that's what you decide to do, it's okay. But that should be. That's why I think it should be between y'.

[Lex P]

All.

[Dre Nicole]

And if you want to vent, vent to your therapies, vent to your friends. Vent to people that know you, not the world.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

What you think?

[Lex P]

I'm on both sides of the coin, right? I'm on the side of keep it private, but not because I like to take my L's in private. Because nine times out of ten, I'm going back. Yeah, I'm going. He didn't mean it, girl. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. But also on the other side, I'm also like, I am tired of protecting people, too. Sometimes it's like, yeah, because men kind of get to do whatever the fuck they want. Have all these women treat people however they want, and they get away with it with a clean slate because you got to take the higher road. So sometimes I am for a woman, like, blasting a man. What was that lady I talked about her. She was a lady. Well, I'm not saying do this at all, but she was a lady. Like, she was married to her husband for a long time, and she ended up killing him and his new wife. It's like a big. It was like in the 80s that it happened anyways. I say all that to say it's not fair that men get to literally traumatize women and put us through this emotional strain of, you know, oh, I love you, I love you. And then the betrayal.

[Wheezy]

This is weezy. Wtf? From decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing. It's responsible sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast. I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary Massive Sci Fi Adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great, cuz it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lex P]

And sometimes you know what? The world needs to know that you're a fuck nigga. So if a woman wants to blast somebody, do whatever you feel that you need to do. Because sometimes the world needs to know that you are a fucked up person. I'm not letting the world think that you a good dude. Cause you not. Yeah. So I don't be mad at it. Would I do it? Probably not. But when the girls do it, good for you, sis.

[Dre Nicole]

I mean, the world still gonna think what they think. And unfortunately, I guess that's just. That's why I feel like you should as a woman just want to take the high road because ultimately it's not gonna do nothing. Like in rare situations do we make men really change. It's always gonna be another dumbass out there who gonna still see that you blasted that and know that he ain't. And she's still gonna want to with him.

[Lex P]

Right?

[Dre Nicole]

It's gonna be 10 more of them. You know what I mean? Like if it doesn't stop anything because women, some women be dumb and they just don't give a. They still gonna go like is not gonna ever have a shortage of. Especially when they with money.

[Lex P]

I agree with that 100%.

[Dre Nicole]

But they gonna forever get away with she. So it's like you blasting them. I think as a woman, sometimes it just make you look. It makes you look a little bit more crazy because especially if they don't say nothing in response or publicly acknowledge it.

[Lex P]

I think sometimes though it'll put A stain on you forever. You know how they walk around with that scarlet A. I don't think you

[Dre Nicole]

do that to successful men.

[Lex P]

I mean fucking with hoes. Sometimes certain men in the industry you be like, why are they single? Because honestly, women of value don't fuck with them because of the reputation they have. Now they can get all the bitches, all the Instagram girls, but a woman of value, they can't get it.

[Dre Nicole]

I don't know that niggas like that be wanting women of value. For real though.

[Lex P]

They do, they do. Everybody wants that Beyonce today. Jay Z, everybody has that fantasy, but they can't get that.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, that's fair. I think people love the idea like people love the idea of having a Beyonce.

[Lex P]

That's true too.

[Dre Nicole]

But most n couldn't handle Beyonce or a woman like Beyonce. So that's why I always say, I think a lot of men who do have money and status and stuff, that's why they like to date the women that they date. Cuz they really can't. Like you said the a lot of and not that it's anything wrong with that, but like you said like kind of, I guess Instagram baddies, whatever. I think that's why they be liking to date those type of women because it's just a little different than dating a woman who's a boss who really got her sheets together cuz she's not going to deal with with that. But I do think too that when you a woman of a certain status like you, that you that girl. So you just can leave that in the dust. He going to forever have to eat that while you move on with your life and be happy and find you another like I don't know and find somebody who going to treat you right. Sometimes taking a high road just be the best policy cuz niggas going to still be a. They still going to be ain't. I can't think of not one and I don't know, maybe you can, but I can't think of one example where a beautiful, successful, intelligent woman blasted a man online and it ended up ruining his chances of being able to like he wasn't able to bounce back from that I guess is what I'm trying to say. I can't really think of no situation

[Lex P]

and maybe publicly though, maybe publicly shit looks good. But I hope at east you never know what that man's going through behind closed door because now you can't fool the world no more because narcissist worst nightmare is the world not believing that He's a good person. So sometimes when you put them on blast, they are literally losing sleep because you ripped that mask off they ass. And they have lived their entire life fooling the world. And now we know the truth. You know what I'm saying? So sometimes it ain't even about the women, the brand deals or the money. Sometimes it's just they get satisfaction from knowing I'm this person behind this mask. And you've ripped the mask off. So it could be. I think it's a layered conversation, obviously.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

I just think that there's no right way to react to betrayal. And I think that yes, it sounds good to take the high road, but bitch. Sometimes a bitch be scorned and be mad.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh, I know. That's why, like I said, I'm speaking from a place of experience.

[Lex P]

Yeah. I had a friend. That too.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes. I'm speaking from outside of you. Yeah, yeah. But I'm.

[Lex P]

I mean, because I was like, duh, duh.

[Dre Nicole]

But yeah, I'm speaking from a place of like growth and like getting to this point in my life because to be honest, I. And I can only speak for myself. I can't ever speak for other women. I was never that person to begin with. I just let a situation take me there and do some that I ended up ultimately being like, now why the did you do this? Because it's not, this isn't even in your character. You would never do this. And I remember when I told my mom about it and I told a few other people. Well, I didn't even have to tell them. They just had seen it and knew. I just remember when it happened, like so many people in my life was like, really delete that cuz. Yeah. No, they was like, that's stupid. I can't believe you did that. And like y' all shouldn't have posted it.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Cuz they was like, you bigger than that. You don't even move like that. And I don't.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

And I just hate. I love to move the up. One thing that I know about people because I've seen it happen so many times in my life. I ain't never my loss.

[Lex P]

Yeah. Now that's never. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Like ever.

[Lex P]

In the moment it hurts. But in the long run, it's not your loss.

[Dre Nicole]

It's never my loss because I know who I am. I know the heart that I have. I know how kind I am. I know who I am as a person and anybody that's privileged enough to be in my space on a personal level and be around me and experience me in that way. You might not realize it initially, but you're gonna realize it indefinitely. It's your loss.

[Lex P]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

You up. You lost out.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

And so you just don't even. And once you do that, you don't deserve the energy from me no more because you don't show me who you are. So I just be wanting us as women in general, like, that's gonna be the biggest. Yeah, that's gonna be the Nick. The biggest l that take is the fact that he can't have access to you. And the great, amazing person that you are, you were.

[Lex P]

I will say that I think that's something that I definitely took from my last situation. Like the back and forth ping pong we was doing. But when I really left, and I say this all the time, the way my life, it was like I was freed. And I think that's the best thing about my life right now is that he does not have access to me like at all. Like. And I'd be like, damn, you still in the same spot I left you at. That's crazy.

[Dre Nicole]

Yep, that's crazy. Cause that's where people gonna be a lot of the time. Because people don't be shit.

[Lex P]

And I think a lot of times men don't even realize the spark that the public sees in you. A lot of times be from your girl, from your girl. You never was him. That spark is from them. Cause this is a cool ass bitch. I know her heart. Yeah. So I love my friends. Like, oh my God. So when my friends date somebody, I'm like, okay, let me see what he talking about. Cause he gotta be an amazing. So it's like when they do something to hurt my friends, I be like, are you fucking dumb? Cause like I said, I recently had a friend that like blasted the situation and I'm just like, okay, whatever makes you feel in the moment. And in the moment. She didn't wanna be talked off the ledge. In that moment, that made her feel good. But it was just kinda like, you know, now when you wanna go back. Now everybody looking at you crazy, but in the moment. But I'm just. I felt good because I'm glad the world know. So we're not looking at him with that spark no more. You can still be with him. That spark. I hate that nigga, but I'm glad.

[Dre Nicole]

Me too. Ditto.

[Lex P]

Yeah, but I'm glad the world knows. Now we all know he don't got that little shine in his eye that he used to have no more. So I Think that sometimes, like I said, I'm not for it. But if a woman does it, I understand it, you know? And I'm glad that the world knows about that nigga, the one I'm talking about.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

Facts

[Dre Nicole]

told. What you think, Ty? I don't ever want a nigga to see me or feel like he got to me. So I'm the poster.

[Lex P]

I'm gonna leave.

[Dre Nicole]

You're getting blocked. And, like, to your point, you gonna see me glow up.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

However you can find me. Whatever. But, yeah, you lost that. And I don't need to say anything. I'm just simply weeping. And that's typically me, too, girl. Like, I'm just gonna not talk to you no more. Blocked.

[Lex P]

Deleted.

[Dre Nicole]

Moving on. You don't have no access to me no more. But I get it sometimes. Like, being in that position. Cause like I said, I let that happen to me one time in my life and. But I felt stupid because, like, I feel like you. Like, bitch, why am I even. Why did I do that? Yeah. And I don't take my L's in public. Yeah, me either.

[Lex P]

But I will say, I wish that more people would give the energy towards the man and not the woman.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes. If she posted it.

[Lex P]

Hey, babe, just take this down. It's not a good look. Don't be like, girl, you look dumb. You look stupid. No. Give that negative, nasty energy towards him. Now you can talk your friend off of a ledge nicely. She already going through it. You know what I'm saying? So I do wish that, like, when women have a moment and they freak out and post things, the negative energy needs to be towards the person who is the actual suspect in the crime. Bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. You could tell people. I think that's just more so about knowing how to talk to people and talk to your friends. Because you could tell your friend that they doing something stupid without telling them that they stupid.

[Lex P]

Yes.

[Dre Nicole]

Or calling them stupid.

[Lex P]

Yes.

[Dre Nicole]

You don't. Choice of words matters. Come on, you know.

[Lex P]

Come on, preach them. Profit. Yeah, you done profited hard.

[Dre Nicole]

But I'm just saying. Yeah, like, choice of words matter. Like, even if I don't like something, and it's been times where my friends have done stuff or, like, talk to dudes that I don't necessarily agree with situations or I think it's the best for them, but your choice of words matter. Like, you don't have to tell your friend that they stupid. You could say that. Stupid, though, because I will say that.

[Lex P]

All right.

[Dre Nicole]

The energy is for the niggas.

[Lex P]

Thank you. The Energy is for.

[Dre Nicole]

Okay, so let's get into topic number one. We, I mean I feel like this is like a good segue to go into this topic though because I mean we kind of was talking about this a little bit. So how strict is your program? How seriously are you taking your work life, your dating life? How seriously you take life in general? Like how serious is your program? Personally my shit is strict as fuck. I don't think nobody's program is more strict than fucking earth signs.

[Lex P]

I agree.

[Dre Nicole]

We don't fucking play that shit.

[Lex P]

Yeah, we really don't.

[Dre Nicole]

Like I don't know too many earth sign people that play with people we be really with ready to, we be ready to get the on and ready to get you the on. Like I very much run a strict ass program not just only with people in my life, from friendships to relationship, I mean to dating relationships, but also when it comes to just how I show up for myself and taking care of myself and when it comes to my eating habits, my me working out, taking that part of my life series, just being a person who tries to be self aware and know the things that I need to work on. Going to therapy, going to therapy, going to therapy, making sure my mental health is on point. I don't play with myself so I think that's a big reason why I don't let people play play with me or whatever. I play in my face. And when it come to men, I try to give people a little bit of grace because when you love somebody, like when you in a relationship and you love a man, you will give a man numerous chances. But at the end of the day too you also got to be okay with like walking away. You can't just be letting people play in your face you and I think that has a lot to do with knowing your your self words. I'll give a dude a chance, like a few chances but like it's certain that just have never been able to come back from. You ain't coming back from me. And then it's certain stuff where it's like nobody's perfect, you made a mistake, I could give you another chance. And it's the same thing in friendships. You made a mistake, I can give you another chance. But then some bitch you gots to go first offense cuz you're not going to create a second one. So yeah, I run a very strict program business too. Very street. We be on them calls and stuff. I be having hella questions. I don't play about how I want things to look, how I want things to be presented how I want things to be ran. With our business, with my personal business, with Muse, I just. Yeah. Strict as.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

I believe in being street. That's the only people respect.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

They don't respect politeness.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Beyonce said this on one of her documentaries. She said, you could be, as a boss, you can be fair, but you can't be polite. And I do feel that way. I could be fair with people, but I can't always be polite and, like, make everybody happy.

[Lex P]

Yeah, I agree. I think with me, I run a strict program as far as, like, with my job, like, showing up. I don't care how I'm feeling when that red light comes on, I gotta be Lex P. I gotta show up, I gotta do me. If we have an event to go to, I'm taking pictures with everybody. I'm doing. With love, Lex P. Rain, sleet or snow, I gotta show up, I gotta do my rundown. I have been consistently dropping every fucking Monday. Haven't missed a Monday. Same thing with Poor Minds. We don't miss a Friday. When it comes to my schedule, I'm very, very strict and consistent with my schedule. Cause now to the point to where I would get anxiety, like, the whole time. Cause I had a busy travel week the other week. I went from Mexico City to LA to Houston. And my whole thing was like, where am I gonna go to the studio at? Am I gonna go to the studio in LA to record? Am I gonna go to the studio in Houston? Like, I'm just trying to figure things out. Because Love LexP, of course, is a little different from Poor Minds. It's Evergreen. So I have to shoot these episodes weekly. You know what I'm saying? So when it comes to my schedule, as far as my job, consistency is something that's just light work to me. Consistency is really what keeps me going. Because it's something that gets my blood just rushing through my veins. When I post that episode on time, they be like, lex, I knew you was gonna be on time. And I said, hell, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

Like, yes, bitch. Cause I don't fucking play. I feel like I am here to entertain the people. Every time you see me, I'mma give you what you need, shawty. I just like making people feel good. So I feel like as far as that, I'm always gonna show. Like, the people are never gonna see me not being like Lex P and having a good time and turning up. Cause I know that's what y' all here for. Life is already hard. So as far as Like, a strict person when it comes to my schedule and doing, like, my content. Like, when I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. As far as, like, my job goes. Now, when it comes to my personal life, I'm not very strict at all. But I think it's also because I know that's the little girl in me I'm trying to heal right? And that's something I realized in therapy. Like, I didn't grow up with a big family and the big Thanksgivings. Like, it was really just me, my mom, and my sister growing up. Like, I'm close to, like, my aunt and my uncle. Like, I didn't have all. I didn't have a dad. So I think a lot of times I'm very forgiving because I just be kind of wanting that family unit. Like, I be wanting family so bad. So in my personal life, I'm always forgiving people. And sometimes I will let people walk over me a little bit just because I'd be like, well, we family. We good. And I'm like, girl, you looking at them like family. They ain't looking at you like that. So I have, like I said, going to therapy and working on it. I'm learning to create boundaries with people, cut people off and just be like, hey, you know what? You have family, though? Like, I be looking for, like, oh, when I have a house party And I have 30 people show up, but when people do that, 30 people show up. Two of them, like you, the other 28 are talking about, oh, my God, did you see her bathroom? Oh, my God, look at this rug. Oh, my God, you can smell her cat in here. Whether she got a pet or her. I was like, wait, which one? But that's how messy people are. You feel me? So now I cause you out of some people's house. You gotta smell that cat. You can smell that cat.

[Dre Nicole]

You can smell that cat. And I ain't talking about the furry one.

[Lex P]

Hey, that. Would it be furry sometime soon? It do. But I say all that to say, like, I've realized, like, after all these 30 something years of being like, I want family. You know, my sister's not here. I'm like, girl, you have family. You know, you got Drea, I have Killa, I have Lauren. You know, I have Ally. Like I said, outside of my sister and my nephews, like, you do have family. I got Keke, I got Tiffany. You don't have to have 10 million people to be like, oh, my God. And it's like, honestly, that's why I'm so happy of the community we built. Cause even at the Black Effect Festival, I was like, damn, these people really love me. Like, some things will go online where we're getting canceled, and people just be going off on you and be like, oh, y' all are so these two dumb bitches and this and that. But I'm like, hey, but people love me. I get to log off. I get to log off and walk outside and be loved. So I think I could run a stricter program in my personal life. Yes. But even though I don't, leading with love got me to where I am today. And I realized it's okay to lead with love. And not it's gotten me hurt, but it's also why I have this friendship, why I have the friendships I have, why me and my sister are so close. So it's like I'm learning a little balance, you know? We gonna get through.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

We gonna get through.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. I mean, forgiveness is one of those things. It's necessary in life.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

But sometimes people can definitely get the fuck on up outta here now.

[Lex P]

Somebody that can definitely get the fuck on.

[Dre Nicole]

You could definitely get the fuck on. And how you feel about something.

[Lex P]

The group chat we was in yesterday, and they was talking about, you know,

[Dre Nicole]

oh, but she is. She has gotten the fuck off. Cause she didn't have no choice.

[Lex P]

It's time to start slapping bitches again. That's what I said.

[Dre Nicole]

She didn't have a choice but to get the fuck on.

[Lex P]

I know, but that's crazy.

[Dre Nicole]

And she still somehow be trying to

[Lex P]

not get the fuck on. Hey, how y' all doing?

[Dre Nicole]

Ty would be weird.

[Lex P]

All right.

[Dre Nicole]

What you think, Ty?

[Lex P]

Ty, are you strict? Ty, you get strict? I run a very strict. Yeah, Ty. Why am I already knowing my Virgo Earth? Yeah, bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

Nobody don't play the program. I was a little teeny tot.

[Lex P]

Yeah, come on, now.

[Dre Nicole]

I don't play around friends, family, work, everything. It's strict over here. My nigga know that, too, Period. Mine too. He know that for a fact.

[Lex P]

Now, I will say that's one thing. I think, like, it's been a tumultuous time, but that's one thing. He's like, I gotta. Hey, there's a video of him drunk, and they were like. He's like, I gotta call my girl. I gotta call my. Yeah, get y' all and call your girl.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

It's strict around it because I've been too lenient.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

So it's time to get strict in this motherfucker. It's time to whip that. Whip it.

[Wheezy]

This is weezy WTF from Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

When Kohler, the global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products, came to me and said, martha, we need an ambassador for our timeless, elegant, durable cast iron products. I said, I'm in now. Let me see the factory. Weeks later, I was suited up in coveralls and work boots, walking through their Kohler Wisconsin cast iron foundry. I stood next to the molten iron furnace, saw the hand applying enamel and touched the gorgeous finished products waiting to be sent out into the world. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron products have been forged and finished by the incredible craftspeople right in Kohler Wisconsin. I'll tell you, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for for Kohler's cast iron craftsmanship. So now I'm lending my discerning staff of approval to my most beloved Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and timelessness. Shop my Kohler Cast Iron favorites curated on Kohler.com bring the warmth, character and enduring style of these timeless products into your kitchens and bathrooms. As the Kohler Cast Iron Ambassador, I say long live Cast Iron.

[Commercial Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductors suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S P500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures

[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like okay, yo yo yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like no. At this point it would kind of be between betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get in a podcast.

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

Kiss.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah I mean you do. You got to be strict. I just think a lot of the time people when they night I always do feel like cuz I don't know in some situations people don't even just be letting people slide, they just be trying to get what they want out of situations and that's something that I learned a long time ago especially when I was younger cuz I was very much like it was a few people that I talked to when I was younger where I just would kind of like to maybe if people didn't know me they would think I was letting shit slide, but I really wasn't. I was just trying to get what

[Lex P]

I was playing the game.

[Dre Nicole]

And I didn't give. And I really did not give a. Like, I didn't care.

[Kal Penn]

For real?

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Because when I care, I care a lot. So I have no choice but to cut you off or have no choice but to, like, not deal with you no more or be super strict, because I really care. So it's like, I feel like I'm betraying myself if I allow somebody who I love and they not reciprocating the same type of love and energy that I'm giving to them. And a lot of time I only think that people don't want to be that way because they be like, maybe a. A feeling of feeling like they might not find nothing better or feeling like they don't want to. Like, I don't know if I'll find another friend like this. I don't know if I'll find a better friend. I don't know if I'll find a better partner. So, like, let me just. Or business partner, whatever the. Whatever type of relationship it is. And so I think a lot of times people will hold on to situations and not want to let it go out of feeling fear of not being able to replace what they're losing. But you can always find better. Always. And I'm a testament today. You can always find better. It never been a time where I didn't find something better after I let some go.

[Lex P]

And you know what I got to say to that?

[Dre Nicole]

What?

[Lex P]

Hey. Holy. Hey. That was a word.

[Dre Nicole]

But seriously, though, I'm for real. No, for real friend. I know. It's like it's never been a time God. God always removes to replace. And when you realize that, you just be more.

[Lex P]

That was a good one. I'm telling y' all this to replace.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, I'm writing that down. Anytime he removes somebody from your life, because I. It's always God. Like, you might think you're making the decision, but you never really in the driver's seat. That's why sometimes it feel like your hand be being forced with stuff. Because it is.

[Lex P]

Oh, my God.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, because it is. And God will sometimes allow. Allow things to keep happening to you with a friend or whatever until you be like, you know what? Let me get rid of her ass. Because it's just not good. It's not a good situation for me to be in. Nothing good is coming from this. I got to get rid of her. And it's like Sometimes you'll feel like, well, why do this keep happening with this person? Cuz you won't let them go.

[Lex P]

And it. It'll get worse too when you pray on it.

[Dre Nicole]

It'll get worse for you when you

[Lex P]

pray on it and you ask for an answer.

[Dre Nicole]

You got to be careful with that prayer. You got to be ready for that prayer.

[Lex P]

You have to be ready.

[Dre Nicole]

As soon as you say it, everything is going to L which is gonna be right in your face.

[Lex P]

It's gonna. You gotta confront it. I agree.

[Dre Nicole]

And then we be like, but not this way, but like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Well, I ain't want it to happen like this. But you pray for it.

[Lex P]

You pray for it. And then sometimes you pray and then things just be like, okay, you see the light and things do start getting better. So I think you gotta be prepared either or. Cause if you pray for it and shit starts getting better, you have to be prepared to change as well. Everybody always think in the situation, well, I'm doing everything right and they're doing everything wrong. No, it takes compromise. And both of y' all gotta be willing to work. So if you see somebody making an effort and you decided to forgive them, you forgave them. So you can't keep harping on the shit that you forgave them for. So you have to be really prepared to move forward.

[Dre Nicole]

And I think people to be like, especially more so specifically women. I think a lot of women be scared to be considered as a bitch. I'm not.

[Lex P]

Wait, what?

[Dre Nicole]

Me either.

[Lex P]

What do you mean considered?

[Dre Nicole]

Never been a feeling or an emotion that I've had.

[Lex P]

What do you mean?

[Dre Nicole]

Be scared to be considered as a bitch? Like they don't want people to think they're a bees.

[Lex P]

Oh, like mean.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

Oh, okay, Okay.

[Dre Nicole]

I want people to think that I

[Lex P]

thought you been like. Cause I'm your bitch. Like ja rule. Yes. That's why I was like, what? I done been a down ass bitch before. No, no, no.

[Dre Nicole]

They don't want people to. They don't want people to feel like they're a bitch. Like, I think that's just a thing that a lot of women struggle with. They don't want to seem like they're being bitchy. They don't want to seem like they're taking their power too. They don't want to seem like they're not soft and feminine. So a lot of the time women constantly forgive. Cause also I do think in a lot of situations that's how we have been raised. Like, you supposed to be the matriarch of the family, even though we ain't that old yet.

[Lex P]

I ain't no Madea bitch, bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

We ain't matriarchs quite.

[Lex P]

I am.

[Dre Nicole]

My mama gone.

[Lex P]

It's me Grandma Jean gone too.

[Dre Nicole]

Your grandma passed too? Yeah, both of them.

[Lex P]

I'm the matriarch.

[Dre Nicole]

So you really are the matriarch. That's why I gotta run A strict. A young.

[Lex P]

Yeah. And see, my Auntie Lane is a matriarch, but she be outside. My Auntie Lane, she a young cinder too. That's what I'm saying. We ain't got no matriarch either. Auntie Lane be turned up.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, but I mean, I do feel like.

[Lex P]

Hey, I feel like my girl be lit. She do be lit. Always on a trip.

[Dre Nicole]

Who be more elite, Auntie Lane or Ty?

[Lex P]

I don't know the Matrix, bro. Every time I look up, my auntie is on a cruise, on a flight, on a beach with her, man.

[Dre Nicole]

Listen, it's a lot.

[Lex P]

They be in the matriarch.

[Dre Nicole]

You gotta take time. For you. I'm with Aunty Lane.

[Lex P]

Oh, she be outta there.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, but you just. You can't be scared to put your foot down. And I think a lot of people have been taught that way. Like my mom kind of have been like that majority of my life. I've talked about that. That's why I'm so. That's why I feel like I'm so motherfucking street. Cause I saw how y' all fucking played my mama that she pulled in the kitchen.

[Lex P]

Oh, yeah, you.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, y' all hoes up.

[Lex P]

I remember one time I came to your house, you talking about something, you was so mad.

[Dre Nicole]

Cuz I don't play by my mother. I play candy.

[Lex P]

I don't play. That's my mama. That's my mama. That's my mama.

[Dre Nicole]

And I don't play about my mother.

[Lex P]

Mama. I don't play about that mama.

[Dre Nicole]

No. Because my mom is just so kind.

[Lex P]

Like, she's so sweet.

[Dre Nicole]

She's so kind and she's so sweet and she's so nice. And she would, like, give you the shirt off her back. And she just always been like that with everybody in our family. So I feel like she. That people have always known they could come to her and ask her for things and she would do it. And then I've seen the same people who she have helped numerous times playing her face or turn their back on her when she needed something. You know what I mean? Or when she and I. And when I say Something my mama have always been very like, financially stable sufficient. So it ain't never no like that. It's never like monetary stuff, but just not being a shoulder to lean on, not being there for her, not showing up for her. Like, I've seen that shit happen. And so I don't know, I think I just took that into my adulthood because I saw people be like that with my mama and I had to realize. Cause I think I'm a very kind person, but I'm also not to be fucking played with. Yes. Like I'm gonna be nice to you. Shit is sweet till it's not.

[Lex P]

Mm. You gonna get that lemon pie then you gonna get a bean pie.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, but you might like the beans.

[Lex P]

I'll take both.

[Dre Nicole]

But yeah, she's sweet with me till it's night. And I don't care about showing that to people because I know if I ever get to that point, I know who I was to you before I had to get there, you know. But I think a lot of people just don't want to be mean or

[Lex P]

don't want to be perceived as one thing. And also, and I think like with some people too, it's just. It's not really in them either.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

Like some people just not. Or to be nice, to be mean or just to be. Like some people, like, they don't want to be perceived that way. Yes. But some people just don't got it in them. Not everybody got that dog in them to be like you. And some people are just naturally. Just like. Like your mom, she's just naturally nice.

[Dre Nicole]

Nah, she got that dog.

[Lex P]

I mean. Well, yeah, well, yeah, but I'm saying, like.

[Dre Nicole]

But when it comes to our family. Yeah, because that's our family.

[Lex P]

Right.

[Dre Nicole]

But when it come. But even still with them, my mama will go there with people. She'll go toe to toe. But she don't like to have to be taken to their place. But especially with strangers. She got you.

[Lex P]

Was you.

[Dre Nicole]

No, you wasn't in the car with us on the way to the premiere party last year.

[Lex P]

Oh, but I remember you telling me. Yeah, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

She went off on that lady in that car.

[Lex P]

She gets success.

[Dre Nicole]

She was like, you are racist mood. And me and Lynn and Jordan and all of us was in the car like

[Lex P]

Bella.

[Dre Nicole]

But she wasn't wrong though.

[Lex P]

Exactly.

[Dre Nicole]

She, the lady was being weird. But my mom have always been like that. To the point that when I was a kid, it used to be embarrassing me. Low key. Cause she always gonna advocate for herself. But I feel like that Taught me to advocate for myself in adulthood, so. And even on another note, like, you saying that some women are afraid to be considered or looked at as a bitch. But, like, if a man does those same characteristics and he runs a strict program, oh, my God, we're worshiping the ground he walks on. He's such a great businessman.

[Lex P]

He's assertive.

[Dre Nicole]

He's assertive. He evolves, takes care of his family. Yeah. Like. Like, it's just a complete double standard. And, like, that's crazy. So that's why I don't care.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

However you're gonna perceive me, you still gonna do what I'm asking you to

[Lex P]

do when I'm asking you to do it. And I think that's how I am in business. Like, I don't really care how people look at me in business now for sure, when it comes to my business, my livelihood, I don't give a fuck if you think I'm a bitch, if you think I'm nice, if you think I'm ugly, if you think I'm smart, if you think I'm fine. I don't give a fuck. Let's get this work done.

[Dre Nicole]

I think that's why I was surprised that you said you're a little more lenient. Cause I think I see the business side of you and I see the strict program y' all both be running. Yeah.

[Lex P]

That's why I was like, damn. Okay. Yeah. In my personal life, I'm like, night and day when it comes to work. In my personal life, like, even at the other studio I record at Shout out, to Red and Rod, at Creative Soul, they be like, man, you like. They be like, you don't be playing. Like, I'm very strict when it comes to my work, but I've always been that way. Like, even in school, with my schoolwork, I was always like. Like that. But, you know, we all need to have a stricter program, especially for my ladies. We getting stronger. We going to take your advice, Prophet.

[Dre Nicole]

But I feel like mean people, like, it's this perception that successful people are mean or whatever or just aren't nice people. I don't think that that's true. I think that a lot of times, and I'm only saying this because we're kind of growing into that space. I don't think that people that are successful are not nice. I think you have to be assertive. Like, that's just the position that you put in. And most people would not really understand that, because they don't have to be that way.

[Lex P]

Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

But if you let people get away with, then things are never going to be ran how you want it to run it. And you're gonna be being, you're gonna be upset with yourself because you're gonna be like, damn, I know I should have said something because that's not how I wanted it to be. Yeah, and when you run a business, it's gonna sound up, but it's really. That's all that matters. It's how you want it to be as the person who owns the business or runs the business. But you can say things, you can say and do things in a nice way. But I say to that people that are successful in their means they weren't nice when they were broke. Money and success just amplifies who people are.

[Lex P]

And I think another thing too is like when I talk a certain way, I already know who I'm talking to. A person that's like, okay, let me just get it done. Versus a person like, oh, she's being rude. So I already know, okay, I can talk to you like normal how I'm talking in business. But I know I gotta soften it up with you. Cause you gonna take it personal. Think I'm being a bitch, so. And that comes with being a boss. You gotta know who you talking to. Cause certain people can handle it and certain people can. But I never set out to be hurtful. I'm just trying to. Let's just get to it. I don't feel like fluffing shit up. This is how I want shit done.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, yeah. And I also, and I mean, this is a topic for another time too. But I definitely, I'm like, is it? It is. It is definitely a topic for it at the time. But I also think sometimes too when I hear a lot of people say that, because people will say that online about like big celebrities and people who be like rich. As you'll see people in the comments like, oh, they're evil. Or they had to sell their soul to get to this point. I also think a lot of times people say stuff like that out of fear of like them be them, like living up to their full potential in trying to actually become who they want to be. So they just, they will just convince themselves that like, oh, successful people are evil, rich people are evil. And that's the only reason why they've gotten to where they've gotten to because it makes them feel better about being mediocre. That's kind of what I think.

[Lex P]

I mean, you're right about that because

[Dre Nicole]

it's always A lot of excuses and stuff that people be saying. If you notice on the Internet about like people who are rich. And I'm talking about real rich people. Like not.

[Lex P]

Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, no, no. I know what you mean.

[Dre Nicole]

I'm talking about like a Listers and stuff like that.

[Lex P]

It's crazy. I'm gonna just tell this story, then we gonna move on, I promise. Cause this is a good conversation. There's this tiktoker, right? And she has literally amassed a huge following from telling women not to get married, that marriage doesn't benefit women. Buying designer and caring about things is just consumerism and capitalism. And don't become a victim. This lady got engaged to a man worth like 50 million something dollars. Now all her posts are her buying Chanel buying bags. Oh, well, marriage benefits me. I'm not telling. That's why I always say, be careful who you take advice from. And understand that sometimes people are giving you advice. Because in that moment she felt like, I can't afford a Chanel. So let me diss it. I don't have the man in my life that I want. So let me make it seem like it's not that great. That's why I always say when you take advice from people online, take it as a grain of salt. Lex B. Ain't ever going to sit on this couch and be like, oh, do this. And then I'm behind closed doors doing it. That's why I think honestly, this podcast is successful because I. We be keeping it real.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. And we don't give advice for real. Like, I think that when people, when we started pour your heart out, people write in and they ask us questions. And when people ask us, we will tell them what we would do if we were in that position. But I don't sit on this show and try to tell people how to live their life or what they should be doing.

[Lex P]

Like, if you don't do this, you're gonna regret it and you're not gonna live the life you want.

[Dre Nicole]

But that's very matter of fact. Life is not matter of fact.

[Lex P]

When I tell you I've never heard of this creator, but they were showing me her old videos. I'm gonna show y'.

[Commercial Announcer]

All.

[Lex P]

Cause it's actually insane. The night and day of her post, I was like, I have never seen no shit like this in my life. Craziness. Anyway, what we drinking today? This got us on a girl. A boss bitch. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

I was on the Lover girl, but it's looking like strict program over here. I think I'M gonna stick with that one. I think I like lover girl. Lover girl. Shout out to the lover girls out there. Even if you do run a strict program, keep your foot on the neck. Okay, so this one, you can add any spirit of choice. You can add tequila, rum, vodka, whatever you like. We also have some Uzu pineapple syrup. I have some lemonade in there, some triple sec, and then some peach schnapps. So if you want to keep it low abv, you also can do that. And then I muddled some fresh mint and then also garnished it with mint and a lemon wheel and topped it off with some sparkling. So this is tasty. The lover girl.

[Lex P]

You know what? Cheers. Since we almost done, Ty, go ahead and give me another shot.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, yeah, I'll take one too.

[Lex P]

We almost done today?

[Dre Nicole]

Okay. No leak.

[Lex P]

Oh, it's my turn.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes.

[Lex P]

Okay. Topic number two.

[Dre Nicole]

Hmm.

[Lex P]

This is very interesting. I've been seeing this conversation go around. Do you enjoy the company of men outside of sex? Like, do you actually like men? Or do you just like what they do for you physically, financially, or emotionally? Like, what is your proximity? Go ahead. What is your proximity, you know, to a man in your life? Like, if sex was completely off the table, do you think, like, you and this person would still be, like, hanging out? No romance, no finances, like, us just hanging out? Like, how me and you hang out.

[Dre Nicole]

Mm.

[Lex P]

Would you have a man in your life? Like, he is your Lex P. Or your Lynn?

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I like. I actually like men for so many other reasons outside of sex. Cause they really don't be great at that.

[Lex P]

Damn.

[Dre Nicole]

A lot of the time.

[Lex P]

Yeah, you have to add that disclaimer. Cause sometimes dick be good.

[Dre Nicole]

No, dick. Dick do be good.

[Lex P]

Sorry, I just gotta go.

[Dre Nicole]

So it was real good. So dick do be good. D do be good. But I always talk about how, like, I don't know. It's not to say, like, men are just. Men are interesting. I do feel like they're great for a lot of things outside of sex, though. Like, if you can find a genuine male friendship, Men are great friends. They honest, they loyal. They gonna tell you the truth about yourself. They going to tell you that your home girls don't want to tell you because they got that filter of they're not as sensitive as we are. So they gonna tell you the. That you need to hear. And it's also nice to just hear things from a man perspective. Thank you. Versus, you know, hearing it from women. Because we look at life so differently. We live our Lives so differently. So, yeah, I actually do enjoy men outside of sex. Like, sex. I don't even be like that, to be honest, honey. Especially not no more as I've got. Yeah. I mean, I don't like it's men, be cool. But I never. I've never been a boy crazy, sex craved type of woman I like. No, I'm not. I hate. I actually be hating. I actually hate these. So, like, if you ever see me with a man, I really like. Like, if I have a man and this is my boyfriend, I really, really like this because I do not be liking. So, like, sex has never been something that's super high up on the list for me just because I do enjoy it just like anybody else. I love to get some dig when I like you, though.

[Lex P]

Okay. Okay.

[Dre Nicole]

And I rarely ever like these is the point that I'm making.

[Lex P]

I can attest to that.

[Dre Nicole]

But when it comes to in friendship, though, I think men can be great friends.

[Lex P]

Yeah. I think if more people valued platonic relationships with the opposite sex, a lot of things will be understood better.

[Dre Nicole]

Mm.

[Lex P]

I feel like we are in this era of man versus woman. Don't mind if I do.

[Dre Nicole]

Ah, Cheers. Tie.

[Lex P]

Cheers. Tie.

[Dre Nicole]

Damn, you gulped that shit down.

[Lex P]

God damn. Cause I'm almost done with that.

[Dre Nicole]

You know how you hear people drinking in this thing? All right, continue. Finish.

[Lex P]

What you. You getting me there. Okay. But I was saying, I think that if more people value platonic, or as our good friend says, platonic friendships with the opposite sex, we would not be in the same that we are in right now with this, like, man versus woman, you know, conversations that we're always having. And I feel like a lot of men have never been around a woman that they are platonic friends with that they look at like their sister that's actually not their sister, because that relationship is different. Right. Like one of my closest homeboys, I've been friends with him since I was 16. And like you said, conversations that I have with him are a lot different than I have with my women friends. Now, my women friends always keep it real with me, you know? But again, he's gonna say things a little bit differently, and I'm gonna understand them a different way. And then, I don't know.

[Wheezy]

This is weezy. Wtf From Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system, and honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences When Kohler,

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great, cuz it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible. And I hardly Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lex P]

I'm not gonna get into that. But I will say, having a male platonic friend I think is amazing. And like you said, nine times out of ten they said physically, financially, emotionally, financially. 99% of you niggas ain't got money

[Dre Nicole]

anyway,

[Lex P]

75% of y' all dick don't be good. So honestly, the best thing 25% of

[Dre Nicole]

it do be good.

[Lex P]

Now that 25%, y' all piping it down. Yeah, y' all fucking the shit outta us. Shouts out to y'. All. Shout out to y'. All. You know what I meant. My bad. Craig. Craig said he in that 25%. That's why he popped up. Craig said 25%?

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, bro.

[Lex P]

But no, I say all that to say, all jokes aside, I think that we need to value each other as human beings again. And I think that's what that we really are missing. Like, you know, I Feel like we go through a lot with men. Men are awful. They are. But I think when you do have somebody that you value as a friend, you do tend to understand them a little more.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. I mean, every friendship that I have had with a man over the past, what, 35 years of my life, it's been great friendships, honestly. Even if it didn't last and it didn't end up working out, I gained a lot of insight from the friendship. I gained a lot of wisdom. I think it's. It's a good thing to have, especially platonically. But literally platonically. Now, we ain't talking about. No, that used to be with. We talking about strictly a friend, a homeboy.

[Lex P]

She said, get the card.

[Dre Nicole]

But yes. But I also think a lot of that just has to do with maybe I look at my relationships like that as well. My male friendships that I've had over the years that way too. Just because I grew up having a lot of uncles. Like, I have four uncles. My mom had four brothers. Me and my uncles were always really close. Still to this day, it's crazy, because I was in Cabo.

[Lex P]

How many of them are still alive?

[Dre Nicole]

Three.

[Lex P]

Okay.

[Dre Nicole]

Only one of them got all of them.

[Lex P]

Yeah, well, I only got one left on each side.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. I mean, I do, though.

[Lex P]

I have all three of my.

[Dre Nicole]

Well, not all three. One of them did, but I have three of my uncles still living in your family.

[Lex P]

Be living a long time.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. Longevity is. Yeah, it's beautiful.

[Lex P]

I hope, girl.

[Dre Nicole]

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed, y'.

[Lex P]

All. I gotta break the tradition.

[Dre Nicole]

I hope I live a long life because. Yeah, me too.

[Lex P]

I got a tradition. We holding on. I got a traditional break, bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

A real matriarch.

[Lex P]

For real, Peach. Cause y' all gonna be the first

[Dre Nicole]

ones to live to a ripe old 85.

[Lex P]

I got to push it. I gots to push it.

[Dre Nicole]

We gonna manifest it. Going to speak. But, yeah, my family. My family does live to be pretty old, like they 80s and 90s. Because all of my mom. My mom and all of her siblings are in their 70s.

[Lex P]

That's amazing.

[Dre Nicole]

That is beautiful.

[Lex P]

I'm like, do I have any 70 year olds in my family? I'm pretty sure somebody out there.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, somebody out there.

[Lex P]

Somebody out there that I'm just probably not close with. But I'm. I think about the people that I'm close with, like my Uncle Freddy, like my Auntie Lane. Like, none of them are in their 70s.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. You know, but my Uncle Slim. Yeah. My mom and my aunt, they all in their 70s. So like even my uncle, he had called me while I was in Cabo. We was on the phone for like an hour. And it was so funny because Lynn was looking at me because mind you, we're like laying by the pool and I was on the phone with my uncle for a whole hour and she was just looking at me like, wrap it up, I'm ready to take a

[Lex P]

shower, let's turn up time now.

[Dre Nicole]

But, but yes, I've just always been really close with my uncles. Then I had my dad, so I don't know, I just always look at that men, especially when it's relationships that are non romantic, like they could be a great source of wisdom and insight and you know, help you look at things differently because we, we just don't see a lot of the same. And it's a blessing and a curse sometimes. But men also gonna hold you to the fire, especially when it comes to your romantic relationships. Yeah, them being men, they gonna let you know what you doing wrong. Because I'm a man, so I know how I would feel about that shit.

[Lex P]

But I will say one thing about men that I be trying to like. I appreciate men who also hold their male friends to the fire too. That too. If you're a type of man, I don't consider you a friend if you're always telling me about my shit. But then I see your other homeboys and you not telling them about they shit, right? Cause then I know what you are. You're misogynistic and you really don't care about me. You're just being like, I'm a woman, so you think I should be doing shit this, this way. Like the men I have around me, they be like, nah, I be telling all my friends, like I don't know any man around me romantically, platonically, that they have friends around them that don't take care of their kids and don't like, yes, all the men in my life, they make sure that they are around standup men as well.

[Dre Nicole]

But that's more so an indication of like that's a character flaw. Like a who don't. Who hang around, who ain't that already let me know what type of person you are. So I wouldn't want you to be my homeboy, no way.

[Lex P]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dre Nicole]

We can never be friends.

[Lex P]

Exactly.

[Dre Nicole]

But yeah, yeah, I do, I, I do like men outside of sex. Like I said, sometimes the dick, it be cool.

[Lex P]

And sometimes you get the dick. You be like, we should just be friends.

[Dre Nicole]

Sometimes you get the dick and you be like, we should just be friends.

[Lex P]

We should just be friends.

[Dre Nicole]

Sometimes they take you out to eat and may buy you a little something, and you still be like, actually, I

[Lex P]

don't want the D. Yeah, no, thank you. That done happened a few times. I like that. Do it again.

[Dre Nicole]

Shut up. Shout out to the yin yang queen.

[Lex P]

Shout out to the yin yang twins.

[Dre Nicole]

Okay, now it's time to get into the bed bow. The bed bow. The bed Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Okay, y'. All. So per usual, you know, the bed segment is sponsored by Sodexo. Y' all know we love Sodexo. This is our favorite feminine wellness brand. It is all we both use. And I mentioned about you are. Jaheim put me in a commercial.

[Lex P]

She do.

[Dre Nicole]

So Dre and Nicole collab.

[Lex P]

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Moaning in the shower. They need to do something. Not moaning in the shower. They need to do, like, a bundle package where you get a little lip gloss.

[Dre Nicole]

Mm. And the coochie wash. And it's called

[Lex P]

this all lips matter. Cause that Jaleesa. That one own the house. Jaleesa. Oh, come on, Z.

[Dre Nicole]

Because when you going on a little mission in your whole day, do you really need more than that? All you need is your coochie wash from Sot XO Travel size.

[Lex P]

Yes.

[Dre Nicole]

Your lip gloss from Use Beauty. Come on. And maybe a little rejuve oil.

[Lex P]

Maybe a little rejuve oil. Maybe a little reuvreuvu oil. Cause, you know, in case something gets dry, you know, you can put a little Earl, a little Earl, but that's

[Dre Nicole]

really all you need in your travel pack.

[Lex P]

I like that. Y' all need a little travel. Y' all need a little travel case with a little bit of that and a little lip gloss. That's it.

[Dre Nicole]

All lips matter. Cause they all need to be moisturized, and that's why you need that rejuven oil.

[Lex P]

I love it.

[Dre Nicole]

So them lips ain't ashy neither.

[Lex P]

You know what I'm saying? And then it helps with, like, the ingrowns and stuff. And the thing I love about it is that it's all natural ingredients. Okay. You can't go wrong with the naturalness.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes.

[Lex P]

Of your body. Okay, go ahead with the topic now.

[Dre Nicole]

All right, so I wanted to talk about. Why do you think men still want to have sex? Even in the worst times? It's like men just don't have no filter. They just don't have no filter. They don't understand how to read the room. You could have just lost your granny. Your granny just Died, they still want some coochie.

[Lex P]

I'm not trying to be morbid or nasty, though. I had that happen to me. Literally, literally. And then in that moment, literally,

[Dre Nicole]

literally, that had discernment.

[Lex P]

And the thing I realized is you are actually an awful person because that's all you have to offer. And honestly, I think sometimes, like we were talking about earlier, a lot of men think they're part of that 25%. You are part of the 75. And that's all you have to offer. So I think when men do that, it's because you don't have any rapport with them. So they don't even know what to say. I don't care what you're going through. If a man sees you going through it, he be like, well, she slide through and make you feel better. N. What?

[Dre Nicole]

Yuck. He probably is gonna make you feel better, though, in the moment.

[Lex P]

Nah. But no, no. Depending on what it is. I don't know.

[Dre Nicole]

When my daddy died, Deke was making me feel better.

[Lex P]

See. And see, I wasn't like that. That shit did not mean in the moment. In the moment, I was like this, getting rammed from the back, just crying, tears was flowing.

[Dre Nicole]

Lay your head.

[Lex P]

That's what I'm saying. But I think, again, discernment. Cause whoever you were dealing with at the time, I'm pretty sure they were like, okay. And they knew that's what you wanted. It gave nothing about me that I wanted dick in that moment. And that's what you offered me. You know what I'm saying?

[Dre Nicole]

What did you want?

[Lex P]

I don't know what I wanted. A hug, maybe just to be. We didn't even gotta talk. You probably could've just turned on a little. You know, I like to wash the office. Turn on the office, bring me a plate of beans and hold me. That would've made me so fucking happy. Yeah. You know, and I think that's why I've realized as I get older, too. We keep saying as we get older, the small. Cause I remember, like, the next day, like, he had bought me something. Y' all know the Louis Vuitton. Don loves a little Louis. But he had showed up the next day with, like, this little bag. I had one. I'm like, thanks. That doesn't make me feel better. So I think as I've gotten older, I've realized, like, I care about people who really care. Are you okay? So when men just have to offer dick. That's why I don't do situationships.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

I don't do random Hookups. I'm not on a late night. Creep like, oh, I need some dick. I'm past that, baby. So to offer me dick when I'm at the lowest of the low, sometimes a bill due, something. Somebody might be stressed out. They got $3 in their bank account. Well, shit, let me come. Fuck you. My light's gonna be off. Yeah, I'm not trying to get. But sometimes you be in a bind. I'm in a bind, Nate.

[Dre Nicole]

And that's what gets you the doll.

[Lex P]

Oh, Lord. It's a very complex situation.

[Dre Nicole]

Lay your head on that pillow. Go ahead.

[Lex P]

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

[Dre Nicole]

I'm kidding, guys.

[Lex P]

We. No, we really are kidding.

[Dre Nicole]

Promote prostitution on this, not show that pussy.

[Lex P]

Please don't.

[Dre Nicole]

We're kidding. But. But, yeah. I don't know.

[Lex P]

I just.

[Dre Nicole]

They just don't get it.

[Lex P]

They don't.

[Dre Nicole]

They think pulling that dick out gonna fix everything.

[Lex P]

And you know what's crazy? I feel like I've kind of. For the most part. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like for the most part, I've dealt with men like that. And I think, like, when you deal with somebody who's not like that at all, and they're like, let's talk like, what's going. Literally, like, what's going on? You be like, oh. And then like. I mean, can you imagine as your homegirl? You be like, lex, I'm so sad. Well, let me eat your pussy, boo.

[Dre Nicole]

You suspicious. I thought it'd be like that.

[Lex P]

Exactly.

[Dre Nicole]

That's

[Lex P]

why you making that face.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause bitches be fucking weird.

[Lex P]

It seemed like something happened to you

[Dre Nicole]

that was a little bit experience. You.

[Lex P]

I see. That was a moment. You just realized it.

[Dre Nicole]

Fucking weird, bro.

[Lex P]

Remember that? Fucking.

[Dre Nicole]

Speaking of weird, bitches, you remember that DM I sent you? I screenshotted and sent you. Oh, my God. And that was never my friend, but bitches be weird.

[Lex P]

She said she wants you to sit on it and spin around on it and lick it and stick it and make it real nasty.

[Dre Nicole]

Now put that thing down. Flip it in reverse.

[Lex P]

Yeah. I mean, but you can tell she a freak bitch.

[Dre Nicole]

But I was just like, what? But no, I have been cool because y' all don't ever be seeing them tweets on Twitter and stuff where people be like, well, girls will be like, oh, yeah, Me and my homegirl be eating each other pussy when we get drunk. What type of fucking friendship is that?

[Lex P]

Me and Killa Ta don't ever eat

[Dre Nicole]

each other coochie when y' all get drunk, bitch. No, the fuck we don't bro.

[Lex P]

Me and Killa had this conversation. I was like, I thought I was tripping. Cause what the fuck do y' all be doing? Eating pussy, crying, and eating coochie.

[Dre Nicole]

How can you do both?

[Lex P]

Cause I love you. What is going on?

[Dre Nicole]

I don't wanna find out.

[Lex P]

Cause I thought, you know, when I get drunk with my friends, we doing karaoke. We gonna complain about these niggas. We might make a few drunk facetimes. And eating coochie never crossed my mind.

[Dre Nicole]

They probably be starting a girls night. Coochie and karaoke now, don't give them too many ideas.

[Lex P]

We be dropping a lot of ideas

[Dre Nicole]

on episodes they gonna hit up.

[Lex P]

Jaleesa, can you sponsor my party?

[Dre Nicole]

Coochie karaoke,

[Lex P]

salt X tacos. Be like, we not putting coochie with a K. Oh, you gotta put the K on there.

[Dre Nicole]

Coochie and karaoke sponsored by Saudi.

[Lex P]

So. Oh, Lord, Jaleesa gonna be like, these bitches and muse beauty. I mean, but I feel like now that they need the lip gloss, they

[Dre Nicole]

need that lip gloss.

[Lex P]

But I feel like for like a. Like a pride weekend, that would actually be a cute party. Coochies and karaoke.

[Dre Nicole]

We gonna start. I'm gonna come out with a flavored lip gloss just for coochie and karaoke.

[Lex P]

Hey, you gotta make it safe for down there. Yeah, fast. Hey, real quick, this is off topic. Your jelly blush. You know what you should do? What? Put SPF in it. Mm.

[Dre Nicole]

That's a great idea you got off topic. We gotta not drop these till I come out with it.

[Lex P]

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.

[Dre Nicole]

Okay, but no, for real, though, like I said, just. That's strange. That's strange. That's not how you comfort your friend.

[Lex P]

Yeah, I agree. I just think that in any situation, woman or man offering sex, when somebody is going through it. No, don't like it. Me not like it.

[Dre Nicole]

You going through it. He trying to put you through it, bro.

[Lex P]

When I think about it, it really pisses me off. Okay, now it's time to get into the bow.

[Dre Nicole]

Hey, about bow.

[Lex P]

Bow. Bow. So y' all know I'm always down for a little R and B begging for your girl back type song. So this song is by Isaiah Falls. I think I've had him as my bop of the week before. See, one thing y' all know about me, I am bad with the artist's names. I just be having my playlist. So Isaiah Falls has a song called Back in My Arms, and he's just begging for his girl. To come be back in his arms. I love a good begging R and B song. And like, sometimes late at night, when I pour up my little, you know, I make a little martini. What are y'. All. What happened?

[Dre Nicole]

No, it's me. Oh, I keep hearing something.

[Lex P]

I heard it too. That's why I was like.

[Dre Nicole]

But I had been hearing it all episode. So I just be like, what is it?

[Lex P]

I'm at the age where I come home and I make a martini. I relax a little bit. That's all. You know, I don't do too much. I don't get drunk. I just relax, get my day off of me. I walk in my house and I get my day off of me When I walk in my house. Nothing happened today. It's just me, my martini, and my record player. So I was listening to this song the other day. I was like, I like it. It's a little vibe. So back in my arms, Isaiah Falls. It's a bop period. All right, what you got?

[Dre Nicole]

It's very adult. Like, you know, it's very mature.

[Lex P]

I have literally blue cheese stuffed olives in my fridge waiting on me.

[Dre Nicole]

Girl, I love a blue cheese stuffed olive.

[Lex P]

You be making dirty martinis at home? Yes. I mean, it's easy.

[Dre Nicole]

You make it by yourself? Well, I don't use for a Bartesian.

[Lex P]

Well, no, you don't need a Bartesian for the martini. Cause it's really nothing. I just don't. It's not technically a martini martini because I don't, like, have the vermouth and all that stuff. But I just put like, my vodka, the ice, and a little bit of olive juice, and I just shake it up and that's all I do.

[Dre Nicole]

That sounds good. I got a good recipe for you. I'm gonna make it on the next episode.

[Lex P]

I like that.

[Dre Nicole]

I like a olive martini, too. A little spicy, too. Some banana pepperoncini.

[Lex P]

O. I love a pepperoncini now.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, we got. I got you. I like. We both like dirty martinis, so. Yes. And get the blue cheese olives. For sure. Okay. So my BoP this week is GMO GML featuring Gloril.

[Lex P]

I love it. Get out my top beat. And they did y' all trick. Yeah. Okay. That's a good.

[Dre Nicole]

I like it. I feel like it's a good turner. I love when the girls come out with, like, a nice little turn up song. Especially something we always say, you can get ready to when you about to go out and have a good time. So, yeah, shout out to Lotto and Glorilla. I'm really excited about lotto album.

[Lex P]

I know. I think it's gonna be good because I don't like when people how they been going in on lotto. She's still dropping them fire hits on y' all ass still dropping bars pregnant and all y' all stop counting people out just because they pregnant. People have babies all the fucking time.

[Dre Nicole]

It's normal. That's what we women.

[Lex P]

That's what we women.

[Dre Nicole]

That's what we women. Uh huh.

[Lex P]

That's what we women for.

[Dre Nicole]

We women. That's what we supposed to do. Like women have babies. Nobody else have them. That's how we all got here.

[Lex P]

I mean, both genders take care of.

[Dre Nicole]

And then Lex is right. She's right. Well, Rilla was talking about her sister in that verse, right?

[Lex P]

What did she say? She did. She said something about she slid a

[Dre Nicole]

little bit on that one.

[Lex P]

She did.

[Dre Nicole]

I can't remember the bar, but she did something. What they was calling her. What was they called? Bro Rilla. The Bro Rilla.

[Lex P]

Don't say it too loud. You say it three times, she pop

[Dre Nicole]

up, she ain't gonna be able to find us.

[Lex P]

And then she said something about how she wanted Brandon a nut in her.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah. Cause they were saying she was pregnant too, but my sis popped out and said pregnant. Weird. I mean, I'm not pregnant.

[Lex P]

Leave the girls alone.

[Dre Nicole]

I mean, let people announce their pregnancies when they want to.

[Lex P]

Yeah, I think it's weird when people try to be like, saying somebody's pregnant or not. Even when they did that to Rihanna at the Super Bowl.

[Dre Nicole]

Was she pregnant?

[Lex P]

Yes, but shut up, girl.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh, yeah, she was pregnant with the second baby.

[Lex P]

Yeah, but like, leave her alone. Whatever.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh, yes. Sis Lorella delivers a fiery, direct response. I'm trying to see, but I don't remember what she said. The one about Brandon. She told Brandon, I'mma have his son next time he leave it in.

[Lex P]

Yeah, that's what she said. Leave it in. I said, nut. I like to get a little vulgar.

[Dre Nicole]

And then for her sister, she said something.

[Lex P]

It was something. I can't remember.

[Dre Nicole]

Get you a hustle and get that pussy out your face, ho. That's what you just talking about, these hoes eating each other coochie.

[Lex P]

Yeah, that was about her sister.

[Dre Nicole]

What was it?

[Lex P]

Get your hustle up and get that pussy out your face.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah, yeah, you a lace stud or something like that.

[Lex P]

Uh oh.

[Dre Nicole]

Uh oh.

[Lex P]

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. I like it though.

[Dre Nicole]

It's a heat.

[Lex P]

All right, now we're getting to our favorite segment of the week, the pour your heart out segment. If you want your question answered on the show, make sure you email [e-mail] if you're a Patreon member, make sure you put that in the subject line and you can skip the line and y' all go get y' all merch. It's on by poorminds.com Go ahead, Dre.

[Dre Nicole]

Period. Okay. Hey guys. Big fan of the show. So I need advice. My friend just started talking to this guy at work. Not in a flirtatious way, but him and one of my other friends used to sleep together. Let's call her Jamie. She doesn't know that my friend. Let's call her Sam was sleeping with let's call him James. We all work together but in different departments and I'm pretty cool with James. So we talk from time to time and I could see he was into Jamie, but he never verbally said it. I told her and she said she doesn't have enough room for another man in her life. Plus, an old friend of hers already slept with him and said it wasn't good. Fast forward to the other day. She was looking for him and she actually asked a friend of hers for her number. I told her he wants to sleep with her and she finds it hard to believe considering he's never shown interest before and he probably already knows that her friend slept with him.

[Wheezy]

This is weezy WTF from Decisions decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnosis around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

When Kohler, the global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products came to me and said, martha, we need an ambassador for our timeless, elegant, durable cast iron products. I said, I'm in. Now let me see the factory. Weeks later I was suited up in coveralls and work boots, walking through their Kohler Wisconsin cast iron foundry. I stood next to the molten iron furnace, saw the hand applying enamel and touched the gorgeous finish products waiting to be sent out into the world. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron products have been forged and finished by the incredible craftspeople right in Kohler, Wisconsin. I'll tell you, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for Kohler's cast iron craftsmanship. So now I'm lending my discerning staff of approval to my most beloved Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and timelessness. Shop my Kohler Cast Iron favorites curated on Kohler.com bring the warmth, character and enduring style of these timeless products into your kitchens and bathrooms. As the Kohler Cast Iron Ambassador, I say long live Cast Iron.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Lex P]

hey

[Kal Penn]

everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught Myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that. That deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Hearsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts with

[Dre Nicole]

her friends that slipped with him told her, I know my friend Sam still has feelings for him, even though she still tries to act like she's over him. Also note she's in a committed relationship now with the man that provides for her and her child. But her and James are more compatible personality wise. So should I tell Sam that James is trying to sleep with my friend Jamie, or should I just leave it alone, considering she's already in a relationship and acts as if she's over him? I don't want to seem like I'm playing sides, and I don't want to tell either friend's business, but I have been friends with Sam longer.

[Lex P]

Sam, go home to your. That's taking care of you and that goddamn child. Yeah, I'm sorry. When y' all be. I get it. You're more compatible. Y' all be living in La La Land because it takes more. You think you compatible till you start dating that nigga, then you hate each other. Now lil Day not getting taken care of, and neither are you, but y' all got compatibility. Mm. Take your ass home, Sam. But I think for the friend, I think what you can do is without telling the business, be like, hey, you got a good man at home.

[Dre Nicole]

Yeah.

[Lex P]

Why are you worried about James? Obviously, y' all all work in the same spot, so I'm assuming that y' all all make around the same money. And I'm not trying to make money a thing. Girl, go home to your man. That's what you need to tell your friend to go home to her man. Yeah, y', all, that letter done stressed me out. James and Jamie and Foxx and Garrick. I don't know. Goddamn it.

[Dre Nicole]

James and Jamie and Foxx was crazy.

[Lex P]

You know what I meant?

[Dre Nicole]

I agree, though. Yes, Girl, go home to your man Sam.

[Lex P]

And that's what she needs to tell Sam. She needs to tell Sam that. Cause it's not about what you say.

[Dre Nicole]

It's how you say Sam. I am Girl, bring eggs in ham.

[Lex P]

Hot Poor Minds team. My name is Kiersten Jett, and I'm reaching. Oh, were we done with that one?

[Dre Nicole]

Mm.

[Lex P]

Okay. My name is Kiersten. Kiersten. I like that jet. And I'm reaching out with so much respect for the space you've created through the Poor Minds podcast. The real unfiltered conversations, and the way you speak on growth, relationships, and leveling up as a woman has truly resonated with me.

[Dre Nicole]

Amen.

[Lex P]

I may honestly be one of your biggest fans. I'm 25 and currently navigating a season of transition. I've completed my degree in business and management. I'm a licensed cosmetologist running my own hair business, and I currently work in real estate and mortgages. Goddamn hustle, man. I like her. Yeah. I'm also working on launching a raw hairline. My podcast, Homegirl Hotline, a children's book, and I'm planning to start a YouTube. I'm not lying. The hotline is the book, bro. Children's book. Oh, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.

[Dre Nicole]

I was trying to keep it up.

[Lex P]

My bad. I'm not making this up. My podcast, Homegirl Hotline, a children's book, and I'm planning to start a YouTube channel, LOL. And my hairline is called.

[Dre Nicole]

Why did she laugh?

[Lex P]

She did. I didn't make that up. LOL.

[Dre Nicole]

Cause even she know, girl, you got, like, 10 fucking jobs. My man has three jobs. That's what he's giving.

[Lex P]

And my hairline is called. Check this out. Muse by Mercedes.

[Dre Nicole]

I know this word. Mercedes.

[Lex P]

Muse is by.

[Dre Nicole]

Who the fuck is Mercedes? I thought your name was Kirsten.

[Lex P]

You didn't let me finish.

[Dre Nicole]

Oh.

[Lex P]

Muse is my grandmother's last name, and Mercedes is her first. Mercedes. Muse. Okay. I'm originally from New Orleans, but recently moved to Houston, and I've been embracing this new chapter while trying to build something meaningful across all these ventures. I know you got a lot to choose from. I'm reaching out because I would genuinely value some auntie advice from women who have built their brands, found their voice, and stayed authentic through it all. Whether it's about staying consistent, navigating growth, or trusting the process when things feel uncertain, I'm open to any wisdom you're willing to share. And I already know what you finna say, so Go ahead. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

You know what I'm about to say. First of all, choose one. Oh, Kirsten,

[Lex P]

Kirsten, Kirsten. Yes.

[Dre Nicole]

Choose one and stick with that. Let that become successful.

[Lex P]

Come on.

[Dre Nicole]

Then you could focus on something else. So out of all of the things that you said and it's like, you're not doing. You're not starting multiple business. Multiple businesses that are similar, everything is in different lanes. You got a hair care line.

[Lex P]

Oh, you want me to. You want me to list them?

[Dre Nicole]

She got a hair care line. She got a podcast. You got a children's book. What else?

[Lex P]

YouTube channel. Real estate, cosmetologist. Degree in business management.

[Dre Nicole]

And I say this as somebody who. I used to kind of be like that, too. Like, I just used to try everything. Like, I'd be like, I'm gonna go get my real estate license. I'm gonna go start a boutique. I' ma go bartend at the club. I' ma work in oil and gas during the day. I just used to be doing anything. You have to. If you want to be successful at something, you have to pick one lane, hone in on that, focus on that, get good at that craft. And then after that becomes successful, it's going to be even more successful to build another business, because you already know how to build a successful business, but you have to give yourself a chance to focus on one thing. So I think you should pick what you like and stick with that and try to focus on making that successful. It's going to be plenty of time to try all of these other business ventures after you have one successful business. But I do think that it's very difficult to build multiple businesses to be successful at one time. You got to build one at a time. And again, I'm saying it's from a loving place. I know we was laughing a little bit, but I'm saying it's from a loving place of somebody who. I used to be very young and ambitious, too, and I used to want to do everything. Like Lex will tell y'. All. I literally, anything that I thought was gonna make me some money, I would try.

[Lex P]

Did she get my lashes other than selling coochie?

[Dre Nicole]

So I did.

[Lex P]

That was my business venture.

[Dre Nicole]

I did do her lashes one time, and she was so fucking mad at me. She was crying while she was cutting my lashes.

[Lex P]

I wasn't mad at you. I was.

[Dre Nicole]

She had to cut her real lashes off, and she was crying, and she was like, draya.

[Lex P]

I wasn't mad at her. I just think I was trying to help. And I think we should have just gave her a little more practice on some dolls or something. Yeah, the cosmetology dolls. I wasn't mad at you.

[Dre Nicole]

No, you wasn't mad at me, but you were mad. Cause you couldn't. So Lex loves to wear strip lashes still to this day. So she wanted to put on some strip lashes. And because her real lashes are naturally very long and straight. So when I did her lashes, it curled them so she couldn't put on the strips for, like, a few years.

[Lex P]

They were, like, sore and curled. I couldn't put it on my lash line. I'm not being funny to this day. My lashes never really grew back the same.

[Dre Nicole]

Damn. Sorry.

[Lex P]

It's okay. But, you know, I cut them. You cut them off, but they never grew back. Like, you cut it to the.

[Dre Nicole]

I had to.

[Lex P]

And then they were still kind of curled, so they, like, never grew back. But I'm not trying to be funny. I've always been the type of person. Like, I don't really. Yeah. I mean, you can put something on. Yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

It was a labor of love. She did it for me. But the point that I. And look at me now, 2026, and I don't do no goddamn lashes.

[Lex P]

And I don't doing shit.

[Dre Nicole]

She don't sell coochie. I don't sell real estate. I went to school for that, too. Like, just doing shit.

[Lex P]

Let me stop. But they really think I was selling coochie. No, we can't joke no more.

[Dre Nicole]

We're Kitty. Facts, facts. She did not sell no coochie.

[Lex P]

Y', all, please.

[Dre Nicole]

But I really did not sell real estate. And I took time out to go to school for it. Just doing shit. Just girl, pick one.

[Lex P]

And I'll say this. I think when you focus on one business, it makes it easier to also invest the money that you make. Of course, you can pay your bills with that, but leftover, invest it back in another business. Trying to stretch your money out to invest in literally, like, five or six different things is just way too straining from a money point of view. Make a lot of money in one arena, then invest it in another one. So that's all right.

[Dre Nicole]

And even if you want to, like they said, you have a few that are kind of in the same realm, like the owning, the raw hair, and then the cosmetology. Those are things you can kind of do at the same time and, like, leverage one another. But I agree 100%. Start with one area. Perfect that. Grow that. And then start thinking about other opportunities.

[Lex P]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dre Nicole]

Queen.

[Lex P]

Don't Stress yourself. Bless yourself.

[Dre Nicole]

Amen, sis. All right. Yeah, if I had to pick one, I'd probably stay focused on the hair first.

[Lex P]

Raw hair, too. I like raw hair. I like a lot of raw things. I like raw sushi. I like raw meat. That's what raw sushi is. What kind of meat was you talking?

[Dre Nicole]

Little wagyu.

[Lex P]

Okay, little dick.

[Dre Nicole]

Little A5.

[Lex P]

Okay, y' all make sure y' all tune in to Love LEXP every Monday at 10am and if you're tuned in support moms right now, make sure y' all subscribe up. We've been growing the channel. I think we almost at 400k. So shout out to the poor crew y' all showing up. We're about to hit 400k subscribers. That's a big feat. So yeah, period.

[Dre Nicole]

Yes, y' all make sure y' all subscribe muse beautycollection.com. make sure y' all tune in every week. Make sure y' all get them tour tickets. Still sipping Tour 2026. We outside we in your city Coming soon. The tickets probably sold out by now, though, but see y' all soon. Yeah,

[Lex P]

This is for my independent women kind of.

[Dre Nicole]

See he's my property and any girl that's a I might just call your bluff Cause I don't give a who are you to call myself? Oh, I'm gonna wish you well Cause any girl that's tried has failed where my girl's at? From the front to back what is you feeling that? Put one hand up can you repeat that? Trying to take my man see I don't need that don't play yourself well my girl from the front to back full is you feeling that? Put one hand up, can you repeat that? Trying to take my man see I don't need that hey hey, hey, hey,

[Lex P]

hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't you violate me Cause I' ma

[Dre Nicole]

make you hate me if you decide to mess with my trunk you down two sides make you realize that you done messed up this time Put my girl's hand from the front to back when they should feeling that Put one hand up can you repeat that? Try to take my man see I

[Lex P]

don't need that so don't play yourself where my girl's at?

[Dre Nicole]

From the front to back well is you feeling that? Put one hand up can you repeat that? Trying to take my men see I don't need that you ready? You must learn the rules Come close to anything that belongs to me he is mine, My property so you must leave well my girls at the back relationship feeling it Put one hand up can you repeat that? Trying to take my man see I don't need that hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. From the front to back What? Lizard feeling that? Put one hand up, can you repeat that? Try to save my man see I

[Lex P]

don't need that when my girl there from the front to back. Where my girls at?

[Dre Nicole]

Where my girls? You thought I was posing? I was just waiting for you to be done.

[Lex P]

Where my girls at? We gotta harmonize. You know how they, like, perform. They would harmonize at the end.

[Dre Nicole]

Where my girl's at?

[Lex P]

This sounded good to me. We was all see k like that. You gave up on yourself a quitter. We'll see y' all next week.

[Dre Nicole]

No, she didn't.

[Lex P]

I was believing it.

[Dre Nicole]

She was like, no, she didn't. You're fired. Nobody believe that but you.

[Wheezy]

This is wheezy. WTF From Decisions, decisions, ladies. Let's talk about taking control of our sexual health. That's grown woman energy. You may think HIV affects someone else somewhere else, but the truth is it's impacting our community. And some of us are being hit harder than others. Black women make up just 13% of the women in the US yet account for nearly half of new HIV diagnoses amongst women. Taking care of ourselves is community care. Know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body. That's using your power. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Lex P]

If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Lex P]

And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win.

[Commercial Announcer]

Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop

[Lex P]

by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Dre Nicole]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per

[Wheezy]

month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Dre Nicole]

See full [e-mail] when Kohler, global design

[Martha (Kohler Ambassador)]

leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products asked me to be their ambassador for timeless, elegant, durable cast iron. I said, I'm in. Soon after, I was in their Kohler Wisconsin foundry watching molten iron poured, enamel applied by hand, and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron has been crafted by incredible artisans, and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I'm proud to lend my stamp of approval to my favorite Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and enduring style. Shop my curated [e-mail]. as the Kohler Cast Iron Ambassador, I say, long live Cast Iron.

[Dre Nicole]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.