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Angela Yee
This is an I Heart podcast.
Lex
Guaranteed human.
Wheezy
This is wheezy. WTF from Decisions decisions ladies. Let's talk about taking control of our sexual health. That's grown woman energy. You may think HIV affects someone else somewhere else, but the truth is it's impacting our community and some of us are being hit harder than others. Black women make up just 13% of the women in the US yet account for nearly half of new HIV diagnoses amongst women. Taking care of ourselves is community care. Know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body that's using your power. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences Peace of mind starts with
Lex
knowing what supports the journey is steady, grounded and dependable, especially during seasons of change. That's why Nissan engineers push their vehicles to the limit to demonstrate quality, reliability and durability, making those principles a foundation across every vehicle built. That commitment has earned recognition from J.D. power, ranking Nissan number one in new vehicle quality among mainstream brands. Because when trust is built into the foundation, it creates more space to move through life with clarity, confidence and intention, getting the most out of the journey wherever it unfolds. For J.D. power 2025 U.S. initial Quality Study Award information, visit J.D. power.com Awards Awards based on 2025 model year newer models may be shown A
Duran Bernard
lot of you ask how I actually run my business behind the scenes and honestly, Shopify is the reason it exists. For me, Shopify is the place where I took this little idea I had and turned it into a real business. I still remember the first ever sale I made for my fashion brand. Embellished. It was a huge moment for me and Shopify made it all possible. Build your store, own your audience and create something that lasts.
Angela Yee
Start now@shopify.com Ben this is Angela Yee
Planned Parenthood Announcer
from Angela Yee's Lip Service. Every day, Planned Parenthood health centers across the country open their doors and provide high quality expert healthcare. That's no simple task when lawmakers are trying to block access to life saving care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing, abortion and more. At Planned Parenthood, Care continues because they believe your body is your business and being able to control your own body, that's the most basic freedom there is. So Planned Parenthood won't back down. Visit I'mforpp.org to learn more and get involved.
Angela Yee
Being Circumstantial Hey y', all, it's Lauren LaRosa with the latest with Lauren LaRosa on Black Effect and I cannot wait to see you guys at the fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. We are coming back to Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, April 25th at Pullman Yard and it's hosted by me alongside DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God Drink Chance with Noriega and DJ fm. We got Keep It Positive Sweetie with my girl Crystal Renee Hait. We got Reality with the King with my guy, then my brother Carlos King. And y' all know he does reality commentary like nobody can. Now we also have Don't Call Me White Girl, the podcast I Love Mona, and Club 520 podcast along with the Grits and Eggs podcast. So this lineup stacked, baby. You're also going to want to check out the panels that we have lined up too, featuring Kev on stage, Tika Sumter and John Hope Bryant, just to name a few. Of course, it's way bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. Ok, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your ticket now@blackffect.com podcast festival
Dre Nicole
is unnecessary cosmetic surgery.
Duran Bernard
I do agree with you on that, but if I was a baby, I would have got my BBC. Excuse me. In that moment, like, how did that feel?
Dre Nicole
I was already preparing my body to congratulate someone else.
Duran Bernard
Wow. How do you feel when people compare you to Prince?
Dre Nicole
To play me is to play yourself.
Lex
Exactly.
Dre Nicole
May I get another play?
Duran Bernard
Come on now, we about to have fun.
Lex
Do you feel like you're NPR?
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Duran Bernard
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Dre Nicole
You're wrong. 25 is when your brain fucking be 12 this year.
Duran Bernard
Oh, Abigail, you'll be 10.
Dre Nicole
Wonderful.
Lex
I used to get whoopings all the time for like talking during class.
Dre Nicole
Now you on the podcast.
Lex
Hey, I love how every time you about to say some shit, you be like,
Duran Bernard
they all got the same shoe, they all got the same bag, they
Dre Nicole
all got the same ass.
Duran Bernard
Now why am I in it?
Dre Nicole
A lot of these niggas be ugly as and they think just pumping iron that's going to make this the I got to look at you ain't but so much hitting it from the back we gonna do who can't sing to you child. That is my shit.
Duran Bernard
Uh oh.
Dre Nicole
Remember that girl that lost her wig?
Duran Bernard
I won't tell. I won't tell your secrets.
Dre Nicole
For her to not have no music and for her to start it, I'm like, okay, sis, I see you.
Lex
Brit smells phenomenal because you was real close.
Duran Bernard
What's up, y'? All?
Lex
It's your girl Lex and It's your girl, Dre Nicole.
Duran Bernard
And you are tuned in to an
Lex
episode of Poor Minds, where a drunk mind speaks sober thought.
Duran Bernard
We got a guest today.
Lex
We got a guest today.
Dre Nicole
We got a guest today.
Duran Bernard
The whole Is Holland has already started, y'. All. Can we hear it, Brittany? I'm so excited, y'.
Dre Nicole
All.
Duran Bernard
Because again, y' all go look at the comments. Y' all been blowing us up for this for a long time. So. So you ask and we deliver. We have singer, songwriter, producer, dj, you know, hooting and hollering. Connoisseur. You know what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
The howler to the hooting and the.
Duran Bernard
All right, y'. All, we got the Rev I in the building.
Dre Nicole
Grammy Award winner.
Duran Bernard
Grammy Award.
Lex
Don't win the Grammy.
Duran Bernard
Don't forget the Grammy.
Lex
Don't forget the Grammy.
Duran Bernard
Let me ask you something. Cause you got a Grammy. Mm. Like, that's not. That's a big deal in that moment, like, we know you're the meme running it, but in that moment, like, how did that feel?
Dre Nicole
I really was just for a split second of disbelief. Cause I was already preparing my body and my position in the theater to congratulate someone else. Wow. So it was like, wait, it's not Bullo, It's Bloom.
Duran Bernard
Right? But that's all right. You understood.
Dre Nicole
Listen when I tell you my toes was like this in the Mules. Cause I didn't want. I was like, do not let me fall. If I fall, it's a. But hey, I'm a still tumble and get up. Cause I know how to do this. Yay.
Lex
Award Grammy winning.
Dre Nicole
Very much. Very much.
Duran Bernard
That's what I'm saying now. You know, I feel like you have such a distinctive personality. You have a distinctive voice. How was it like growing up? Cause I know. Cause I used to get this a lot, too. So I couldn't wait to ask you this question. Because did you get a lot of people being like, oh, you need to calm down. You need to just like, relax a little bit. Like, how did you deal with that? And being like, you know what? I'mma be myself.
Dre Nicole
What's interesting is I was fine as myself when I was in the house. It wasn't until I stepped outside in certain parameters of my neighborhood, where it was an issue for some other little ashy little boy who wanted to push me or pick with me or somebody's mom telling me, well, you need to stop all that honey child stuff and this, that, and the third, you know, so there were always people that had their own idea and Projection of who they felt, how I should conduct myself, when I'm just a very expressive, eccentric, theatrical, flamboyant iteration of my mother. Because she's homeschooling me and I'm an only child.
Duran Bernard
Right. Oh, wow. I didn't know that.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yes. My parents are only baby. Listen. Where else are they gonna dedicate all that time?
Lex
All that energy and all that time?
Dre Nicole
What were you supposed to do after me?
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Tell her I am the headliner.
Duran Bernard
I feel like you came out, like, wow, listen. Just like that.
Dre Nicole
Listen, listen. Her afterbirth was curtains and lights.
Duran Bernard
Hello.
Dre Nicole
You know, just the whole production.
Lex
Right.
Duran Bernard
You are funny.
Lex
So do you feel like. Because your mom was a vocal coach and your dad was a sound engineer, so being that your parents were both in the music industry and you grew up in that environment, do you think that that has a lot to do with the fact that, like, they supported you so much in your career?
Dre Nicole
Yes. I think it's easier when you have parents that are doing the thing that you. You would like to do. I didn't want. I didn't know what I wanted to do up until 16.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
But I. It was always around. And having that kind of support did fuel and motivate my. My confidence within myself. You know, even with not knowing all the time, still having the curiosity and the mindset to learn has always kept me.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, I love that.
Lex
And your mom was working with some big names. Cause she used to work with Earth, Wind, and Fire.
Dre Nicole
Right. So Pops was the one that was the artist.
Lex
It was your dad.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, yeah. Mom was the vocal coach and the piano teacher. She taught public school. I'm sorry, Music. In public schools for, like, 20 years before I was born.
Lex
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. So she was 41 when she had me.
Duran Bernard
Really? Okay.
Lex
Period. My parents were a little older, too. Cause I'm adopted, so my parents were older when they adopted me, and I was the only child. I just feel like you have a different upbringing and a different appreciation for, like, good music, too, when your parents are significantly older than you.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely. When you have boomers as parents. And I will say that they are a very progressive pair of boomers.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Because talking about 1948. 1947. 1958.
Lex
My mom was born in 1949.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Yeah. So it's. You have, like, the best of both worlds, at least with them, because they came up in a time where they knew life before the Internet. So I've been on the Internet for, like, 30 years, you know, but they never bucked technology. They were, you know, the first four years of my life were documented, which is why when my therapist asked me to write out from the very first memory that I have up until right now, and I said, well, that's gonna be challenging because I don't know what memories are genuinely mine and what I've had access to all my life. So, like, my first. My first. My first. What was that? My first words. My first couple birthdays, like my, you know, Christmases, like, things like that. I've had access to that. So, yeah.
Lex
So your parents. Was them parents that was recording everything with the camcorder.
Duran Bernard
I love that, though, to look back on. So let me ask you this. Being that, you know, you grew up having great music tastes around you, being around these great artists. Cause I know you've been seeing it. How do you feel when people compare you to Prince? Cause that's a lot.
Dre Nicole
I think, first and foremost, love Prince. Wasn't able to listen to him when I was, you know, I was growing up, though, so that was out. But as an adult, I was able to.
Duran Bernard
Why weren't you able to?
Dre Nicole
Oh, Sherlyn was not having that.
Duran Bernard
It was.
Dre Nicole
No, Sherlyn got saved three years before I was born, baby. Fending for the Lord.
Lex
Okay. It's a little explicit controversy.
Dre Nicole
More like celebrate good times. Come on. We can do that.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. Okay.
Dre Nicole
You know, but not, not. Not Prince. I think the reason that they compare me to him is because of similar mannerisms and the fact that we are smaller in stature. Even though people think that I'm six foot, which is hilarious.
Duran Bernard
Really?
Dre Nicole
Yeah. I'm five, eight. A petite six. Five. With my clothes off, though.
Lex
Exactly.
Dre Nicole
Period.
Duran Bernard
I know.
Dre Nicole
Anyway.
Lex
Hello.
Duran Bernard
I'm weak.
Dre Nicole
Wait, what was I saying?
Duran Bernard
You were talking about how my comparison.
Dre Nicole
Yes, that. So it's because of how we express ourselves. You know, my mic is on our eyes and whatnot. But what people don't understand is I get that isms from Little Richard. I get those isms from Little Richard. I get those isms from Rick James. And Prince opened up for Rick James. When we're talking about vocally, like, you listen to me and you listen to Rick James, like, absolutely. She's a very freaky girl. The kind you don't break out. Mother.
Lex
That was a hit.
Duran Bernard
Nah, I see it.
Dre Nicole
You know what I'm saying? When you hear it. But. But visually, they see Prince. They see the little. They see me wearing ass Japs. You know, the assless Japs. You ain't wearing assless jobs.
Duran Bernard
I was like, look at that. They see me.
Dre Nicole
They Want me to play the violin?
Duran Bernard
They want you to do that.
Dre Nicole
But if I could do Little Richard, if I could do Rick James, that's. Vocally, that's where I sit. But mannerism wise, more so. They're like. That's Prince. Very much the deep speaking voice. You know, I don't. You. To play me is to play yourself.
Lex
Exactly.
Dre Nicole
I don't use Melodyne or auto tune. You know, my mic is on always. You know, all of that. So, you know, I see it. So I take it as a compliment. However, I know who I am at the core. You know, I am a continuation of all those things. But I have my own identity.
Duran Bernard
I love that.
Lex
Do you feel like you're NPR Tiny Dick?
Dre Nicole
Yes. Wait, I'm sorry, what was it?
Lex
Do you feel like that's what catapulted you and made you more mainstream? Because I truly believe it is such an art to be able to sound just like your music, just like your audio in real life. And you literally sound the same. Like, especially these days for a lot of artists. They don't sound the same.
Duran Bernard
They're studio singers.
Lex
Yeah, they're studio singers. You literally sound so amazing live. And your tiny desk went crazy. So do you feel like that's what, like, really catapulted your career because you had been making music for a really long time before that?
Dre Nicole
Putting out music since 2009?
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Not on DSP via band camp, but yes. Shout out to Bandcamp, period.
Duran Bernard
I remember Bandcamp.
Dre Nicole
I do believe that. Yeah. Tiny Desk was the moment in my career where I had to, like, if we were. If I was in a seat, I had to. I already had the. Over the lap restraint, but now we got to cross the chest. Now we gotta have security.
Lex
Yeah, yeah.
Dre Nicole
So it's like. Yeah, that's actually. Yeah, I would say tiny desk definitely was. That was that moment.
Duran Bernard
I mean, it was everywhere. It was getting clipped. And I think a lot of times you were introduced to people who had never. You know, people are still shocked to see somebody just living in their truth, being who they are being. Because I'm not gonna lie, you know, I like to get a little messy now. That drink done hit me. Because the people were so in shock that you have a father that was active. That was a whole conversation.
Dre Nicole
Oh.
Duran Bernard
They were like, oh, where's his dad? And he's right there being supportive like a dad.
Dre Nicole
I said this in a video. Cause a girl quoted my picture of me and my dad at the Grammys, and she said, he got a father and a Grammy, I know the homophobe's extra hot. And I was like, sis, you took my breath away. Because, yes, that's a fact. Absolute fucking lutely. Like, these niggas absolutely went out they way, took the scenic route to get over to my side of the conversation where I am on Gullah.
Duran Bernard
Gullah island, having a good time.
Dre Nicole
And they just knew that there was no father in the household.
Lex
Hey, I mean, we understand it as well, because people say that type of stuff, too in the comments all the time about us. And like, I grew up in a two parent household.
Duran Bernard
Would they be right about me?
Dre Nicole
They'd be right. She said, listen, listen, a broken clock, right?
Lex
Sometimes.
Duran Bernard
Sometimes.
Lex
Sometimes it's right.
Duran Bernard
That's all right.
Lex
But, you know, that's only half of the show. And so with me, I grew up in a two parent household, and people just love to believe that you have a lot of the ideologies that you. And the views on relationships and dating that you have because you didn't have a father in the home or. I have these views because of my own experience.
Dre Nicole
Of my own experience.
Lex
And because they don't make niggas like my dad no more.
Dre Nicole
Babe, let me tell you something. If we were waiting on men that were like my father, I would. Ugh.
Lex
Hello.
Dre Nicole
Y' all be waiting forever. And I hate that for y', all, because y'. All. That's a. That's a man right there. You talking about somebody that genuinely loves his family. Like, he prioritizes his own comfort and his own peace of mind to make sure that we are taking care of. Care of. I'm telling you, it's like you brought me here and I didn't ask to be here. You better. You goddamn right. You better rearrange and modify your life to accommodate me. I better be extra comfortable.
Lex
Yes.
Dre Nicole
I'm telling you seriously, because parents, a lot of times parents think that they're doing their children a favor just by bringing them here, and you're not. A lot of them aren't even equipped.
Lex
Hey.
Dre Nicole
And you want to involve them in your. That's why I said, I'm so grateful that my parents waited until the time that they did have to have me to involve me in they shit.
Duran Bernard
Love it.
Lex
Hello?
Dre Nicole
Even though Sherlyn said, had she had me any earlier, I'd be out here looking crazy. What is this?
Duran Bernard
She still. But it's amazing.
Lex
Yeah. I don't know. And I just think it's crazy, too, because. Are we losing sight of the fact that parents can raise their Children however they want to raise them. But when you become an adult, you're going to form your own opinions and you going to live your life how you see fit. Why does it always have to be assumed that the parents didn't weren't in the household because you grew up to be gay or because I grew up to have certain views. Because I, when I was younger, I didn't used to believe in monogamy. I mean, not monogamy. I didn't used to believe in marriage when I was younger. And I used to talk about it on this show all the time. And people used to be like, well, that's crazy. She must not have had a dad in the house. My parents were married my whole life.
Dre Nicole
My parents are still married.
Lex
Hello.
Dre Nicole
And I. And I'm not. I don't know if marriage is for me.
Duran Bernard
Right.
Lex
Same. And I still sometimes feel that way. But it has nothing to do with my parents because I'm a grown ass woman who has formed my own opinions and my own views based off of things that I went through in life and things that I've seen. I don't have to do things the way my parents do it.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, agreed. I think people like to minimize life experience.
Lex
They do.
Duran Bernard
And what we go through just in the dating world, not even just dating, having friends or whatever your opinion may be, it's like your parents can only do so much. Cause you do have to go out and live in the real world by yourself. You do. So I do want to ask you about them all. Look now, I told you, you know, I'm the missy. Mm.
Dre Nicole
May I get another, please?
Duran Bernard
Come on now, we about to have fun. Go ahead, pull it up. I love a hootin hawk. I can be loud this whole episode and nobody can tell me nothing. See? Can you teach me how to do that? Can you teach me how to do that?
Dre Nicole
I was just waiting. I was just waiting.
Duran Bernard
Before I get to the messy question, do you think people can learn how to sing? Like you can teach someone how to.
Dre Nicole
As Stevie Mackey said, anyone can learn how to sing. I think I'm ready. The art of singing is just finding the note. But I think when we're talking about being a singer, that's different. Like, can you learn how to dance? Can you learn how to step? Absolutely. You can learn how to step. Now can you dance? Can you do some Alvin Ailey and a plie and all that? Maybe not. So it just depends.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Just like how I can cook. I can put eggs in the skillet. Right. Shake it up.
Lex
Yeah. Okay.
Dre Nicole
I'm not a chef.
Lex
Okay.
Duran Bernard
All right.
Dre Nicole
That makes sense.
Duran Bernard
Can you teach me how to sing?
Dre Nicole
We can probably. I probably could. I probably could at least help you. I wanna. I would. I would like to hear what.
Duran Bernard
See, I got a little song.
Dre Nicole
She got it. She got it. She got it.
Duran Bernard
Thank you.
Dre Nicole
I feel like she might be second alto.
Duran Bernard
Thank God. I. My validation. A Grammy Award winning artist told me, I got something. You can teach me something.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, we gonna get something together.
Lex
And then I think it just takes a little bit of training. Like, all of the greats had a little bit of.
Duran Bernard
I would love one.
Dre Nicole
Had teachers. Okay, I'm ready.
Duran Bernard
I'm ready.
Lex
Right?
Duran Bernard
Okay. So back to what I was saying. Back to what I was saying.
Wheezy
Yes.
Duran Bernard
Cause you on the red carpets, you're doing. And I love that you go in these spaces and you are yourself. And I think you don't understand how much like people relate to you. Cause you know what I'm about to ask? Huh? Yes. You are hooting and hollering so bad. Cause I felt this before. I did this before. What? He was hooting, hollering on the red carpet so bad. Lin Whitfield turns around and says, hey.
Lex
Oh, I remember that. I thought it was fun.
Duran Bernard
Hey.
Dre Nicole
So real quick. Which is funny because I ain't saying Muffin man since. So
Lex
he said, put that shit in the dirt.
Dre Nicole
This young lady walked up to me. Mind you, I'm in the cut. I be trying to be inconsistent when I go out. Genuinely. Like, I'd be trying to be in the cut. But she came up to me and was like, I just had a question. Do you know the Muffin Man? I said, no, baby, he passed. You didn't hear? He did. He went on to glory. Yes, I'm trying. I did. No, seriously. So here's what happened. You know, the girls be getting excited when they see me. And of course, they done started that. The sisters of Alera, they're the ones who. Who did that. Songs of a Lair, My bad. And the Leah, bless her heart. How you doing? She up here getting excited. As soon as she see me. It's two theater kids seeing each other.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
And I'm trying to keep it cute. I said, do you know. Okay, keep it low like that. And then she kept going.
Duran Bernard
Yes, I know. Yes, I know. Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Like. And I'm the closest to Lynn.
Duran Bernard
Oh, my God.
Dre Nicole
So she said, excuse me. And as soon as she said, I
Lex
said, oh, y' all was. Y' all was gagged. I was like.
Dre Nicole
I was no, you have to understand how. How much I lived for that moment. Truly, like, and utterly. Because you rarely get to see millennials and boomers interact genuinely. Not on screen, not on script, but genuinely. And we respect her.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
You know what I'm saying? That is absolutely auntie. That's our mother, that's our grandmother. You know what I'm saying? So it's like there's absolutely a respect for that. And she wasn't disrespectful at all. And of course she's like, it's the POVs. It's her POVs.
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Human beings are so complex.
Duran Bernard
Yes, I know.
Dre Nicole
Y' all was hilarious. Like, I love that moment. And then later that night, I saw her and had her cracking up yet again.
Duran Bernard
Oh, good.
Lex
If it's a picture in the dictionary hooting and hollering next to it, it would have been that moment.
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Lex
Okay.
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Lex
That's the definition.
Duran Bernard
Excuse me. Handle your interview over here. You handled it so well. Cause I'm not gonna lie with the influencers and the girls and the.
Wheezy
This is weezy. WTF from Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnosis around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.
Angela Yee
Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business, because people always ask me, like, how do I actually run everything? So Shopify is literally the platform where I turned this tiny idea into a business. Before this, I was really just like, popping up at any in person event, any vending opportunity I could, which I still do, but I wasn't really as focused online. I was like, you know, the websites are going to be too much to build out. I'm not like a super techy person, even though I can make things cute. And I didn't want to put up a website that would run my customers away. I wanted it to be efficient, to be easy. And Shopify helped me build brown girlgrinding.com out. Once I switched to Shopify, it finally clicked like, okay, I can actually do this. It's not about it being tough. It's about using the right platform to make it easy. Shopify takes all of the guesswork out. I build my own store, I manage my community, own my own customer relationships. Plus, this is my favorite thing. Shopify gets my products everywhere. I'm able to link stuff through Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop the Shop app, even ChatGPT and Instagram, which is very important for me. And Shopify's AI co founder, sidekick, game changer, let me tell y', all, right? So it's helped me not only optimize my site, it helps me look at my sales trends, it updates my product skills, all the stuff I'm absolutely not an expert in. But it's like having a genius business partner that never sleeps. And right now, the brown girl grinding storefront in the Black Effects storefront is busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting. I love that for us. I am pumped, like so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast festival this year in a big way. And I will be there preaching this platform to all of the small black owned businesses that partner with us. So if you've been sitting on an idea or if you're ready to scale, which you've already started, this is your sign. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, you can do it too.
Planned Parenthood Announcer
Planned Parenthood health centers save lives. But the Trump administration and its backers in Congress are blocking patients from using Medicaid at Planned Parenthood health centers for one simple reason. They want to shut Planned Parenthood down. Yet across the country, Planned Parenthood health centers are still there, opening their doors to care for their communities. That's because Planned Parenthood believes controlling your own body is the most basic freedom and they'll never stop fighting for it. One in four people in the US have been to a Planned Parenthood health center for high quality health care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing and treatment, abortion, and more. Planned Parenthood is still the country's largest sex educator and a trusted source of unbiased sexual and reproductive health information for millions of people. Planned Parenthood will never stop working to get people the information they need and they will never stop fighting so that every person is hurt, free to make their own decisions about their bodies and futures. At Planned Parenthood Care continues to learn more. Visit I'm4pp.org if you're feeling off fatigue,
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Duran Bernard
That's innerbalance.com actors and actresses and singers these days, they would've been like badina, huh? They would have been disrespectful first and
Dre Nicole
foremost if it was never known or realized in that moment. Specifically me and Lee, of course, we are all just children. Yeah, we are all children operating these adult bodies seriously and truly. Like, we're not our brain legally. There's adulthood and then there is biologically. 25 is when your brain fucking forms and fuses up. Okay, so technically
Duran Bernard
then we should be growing.
Dre Nicole
I got 12 years of adult life experience.
Duran Bernard
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Lex
Uh huh.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
So 25 is when we really start and we're developing.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Oh.
Dre Nicole
So how old is your we the same age then? 25? Yeah. 88.
Duran Bernard
I'll be 12 this year. Happy birthday. Ho, Africa.
Lex
You'll be 10.
Dre Nicole
You'll be 10. Wonderful.
Duran Bernard
Okay, I like that.
Dre Nicole
So we have to really tap in with our inner children too.
Lex
You right? And I mean, and also too, when it comes to these new influencers like Gen Z and stuff, they don't even be knowing who our legends are half the time. They be thinking Busta Rhymes is Tracey Morris.
Dre Nicole
What was that? What was that? Who was that one?
Duran Bernard
They knew.
Dre Nicole
What was that one? That's talking about some as an up and coming actor who.
Duran Bernard
Oh, God, he was talking to Delroy.
Dre Nicole
I'm sorry, I said up and coming.
Duran Bernard
Oh, when he said up and coming, I. I couldn't finish the clip till this day. I didn't finish the clip because I. To this day, this is more funny. Yeah, Let me take a sip.
Lex
I'm telling you, it's crazy.
Dre Nicole
But him too.
Lex
Yes, it's crazy.
Dre Nicole
He said, I'm not gonna wrap it up.
Duran Bernard
He said up and coming.
Dre Nicole
Up and coming is don't play with
Lex
Me, he, like, all my life, I had to fight.
Duran Bernard
I'm telling you, up and coming. Up and coming is crazy. But I think that it's a certain level of respect that we as millennials have that like, I wish the new generation would learn. And I hate to say that. Cause I sound like an auntie, and I am auntie, but.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Well, you also have to consider that there are a lot of us now that are not taking disrespect, okay. From some of our elders. And I'll say this, a lot of times, when you have people reiterating over and over how grown they are, that's a wounded child. That's a wounded child that was not heard, that had to fight for attention or didn't get any at all. And so now that they have a voice, they're like, you're not gonna treat me like that. I'm going, I'm grown. It's like anybody that's an adult doesn't have to iterate it. But we're only 12 and announce it. We are. We are. I've never said I was grown. I'm growing.
Duran Bernard
All right?
Dre Nicole
What auntie say? Whatever's not growing is dead. Hey, so when they say you're grown, I said, oh, yeah, you know what that means, right? Grown means something that's reached its full potential and they got nowhere else to go. Is this it? Is this as good as this going to be? Cause I'm not impressed.
Duran Bernard
All right, now that's a good point. That is a great way to.
Dre Nicole
I'm always growing.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex
I don't know. Respect was just different with our generation. Like he said. I mean, I think a lot of the time these days, people be feeling like they gotta put their foot down. Like, oh, no, you're not about to disrespect me or you're not about to play me to the point that these kids just don't have no respect for the elders no more.
Dre Nicole
Well, the elders gotta be respectful too. Just because you owe don't mean that you are garnered respect. And just because you old don't mean that you wise.
Lex
Just cause you old don't mean you
Dre Nicole
can't get your ass to that part.
Duran Bernard
Seriously now, Dre, why you got.
Dre Nicole
And speaking of that, I'm all for children whooping their parents ass. Yes, I said it. Yes, I am.
Lex
I ain't mad at that.
Dre Nicole
Yes, I am. Put your hands on. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because children are the most underprivileged people, period. They are most unprotected okay, I'm not. There are literally states that say you can beat your child's ass legally.
Duran Bernard
Well, maybe. Cause I'm thinking about my nephews.
Dre Nicole
My sister.
Duran Bernard
Don't whoop them, though.
Lex
I think if your parents are beating you, like physically abusing, you gotta fight back. You can put your foot up they ass.
Duran Bernard
All right.
Dre Nicole
No, no. But anything. If you pop me, you get popped back.
Duran Bernard
Ooh.
Lex
Oh, well, not a pop.
Dre Nicole
No. Yes, a pop. Any kind of physical anything.
Lex
So you didn't get popped growing up?
Dre Nicole
I didn't say I didn't get popped, but I also didn't deserve any of that.
Lex
I don't.
Dre Nicole
You look like cutting up a little bit.
Duran Bernard
But I get what he's saying.
Lex
When he don't deserve.
Dre Nicole
When I tell you the actual punishment versus what was actually going on was never that necessary. When you have someone in the house whose presence, their presence alone is intimidating. I agree with you. You don't have to put your hands on me. See, my inner child is in the driver's seat right now. I'm very turned about parents who say they put their hands on kids because I was a child. I remember it very vividly.
Duran Bernard
Same.
Dre Nicole
And it's not okay. It's never been okay.
Duran Bernard
No, I will.
Dre Nicole
And if you. Hold on.
Duran Bernard
Go ahead.
Dre Nicole
And if you can't find healthy ways to communicate with an underdeveloped brain that is outside of physical abuse or any kind of physical punishment, then you're not fit to be a parent. Yeah, you need to regulate your emotions because you want somebody with an underdeveloped brain to regulate their emotions, and you can't even regulate yours. And yet if you. And if. Yet if you put your hands on another adult, that's assault. I'm telling you, you will go to jail. So why is it that you can't go to jail for a child? Because children aren't even viewed as people.
Lex
And let's chat about it. Because a lot of parents that raise their children, they raised them, but they wasn't equipped to be parents.
Dre Nicole
That part.
Duran Bernard
That's why they weren't always pro choice. But I will say now I do agree with you because my not.
Lex
They should have got rid of them leaks.
Dre Nicole
No, no. Some of that lineage should have stopped with them.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, some of that lineage should have stopped.
Dre Nicole
It should have just stopped. It should have stopped with you. You continuing some bullshit. You're continuing liability instead of an asset.
Duran Bernard
So I'm kind of like in between on it because I don't have kids, but I do have nephews. My sister doesn't spank my nephews. And, you know, my oldest nephew, he's well behaved. He does the youngest one. Y' all know how the youngest kids are. They muck and run crazy. But when I think about, like, the whoopings I got growing up, do I think it affected me? No. But I will say it was one whooping that I got from somebody in the family. I'll say that. Cause I don't. Cause people watch the show.
Lex
But it wasn't your mom, though.
Duran Bernard
No, it wasn't my mom. And it was with a switch. I had to go. Y' all remember that? You had to go pick the switch. Now, when I think of instances like that, what in the fuck are you doing hitting somebody with a stick with thorns on it?
Dre Nicole
Well, you know, that's. Well, I was abused.
Duran Bernard
I am a victim.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Well, it's sexual. It's sexualized violence.
Duran Bernard
Now, hold on.
Dre Nicole
Wait a minute. Oh, yeah. See, what happens is. And this was someone, Stacy, Stacey Patton, I do believe she did a book called Spanking Kids Won't Save America. Something like Spanking Black Kids Won't Save America. But she said that beating a black child is one of the widest things that you can do. It is one of the widest things that you can do to a black child.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
And she was also talking about the. The. What is the study of something like going all the way back to its origins. Corporate punishment never was with us.
Duran Bernard
Right.
Dre Nicole
That never came from us. That was something that was given to us.
Duran Bernard
Right.
Dre Nicole
And yet we're still. And we're still doing it.
Duran Bernard
It's embedded in us.
Dre Nicole
And if you. But it. But her question was. Oh, also, the whole thing about sexualized violence is when you are spanking a someone on. On the. On the butt, it is also activating all of these other nerve endings in your genitals. So you're experiencing. Your body doesn't know how. As a child, your body doesn't know how to distinguish the pain from the pleasure. And so you're discovering what this is doing to your body. And so now I'm in the shower thinking, like, wait a minute, is that why I like to get my ass slapped? Like, what's going on? Or like. Or why people like to get choked? There's certain things that implement itself into our sex lives because of the things that we experience as children. But that's why it's like. It's not. It's not healthy. Yeah, it's not.
Lex
Damn.
Duran Bernard
I never looked at it like that.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
I'm not being.
Dre Nicole
I'm gonna send you the link to the book.
Lex
Yes. Send it to us. Because that is a really good point, though, when you think about, like, where did beating, spankings, all of these things being punishment, come from? Slavery.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, it definitely did. And I'm not trying to be funny. I do enjoy being spanked.
Dre Nicole
I mean, I'm a little spanking.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Little consensual.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. But I mean, I think that's a good point to make, though, because I do feel like if I ever do decide to have kids, I'm gonna take the route that my sister's like, I'm not doing things because it is a thin line. Cause sometimes people are like, oh, y' all are soft. Y' all don't understand. And this and xyz. But I do think there is a line.
Dre Nicole
And you're soft because you don't want bruises.
Duran Bernard
Right.
Dre Nicole
You're soft because you don't want your flesh to be torn.
Duran Bernard
Right? Yeah. And I think that's a good point that you made. Sometimes your presence is intimidating.
Dre Nicole
It is a parent's disappointment. Should be enough to make your knees weaken.
Lex
And also, just looking back on it and thinking about when we were getting whoopings when we were kids, what the fuck did that really do, though? In the moment, you was crying, you was hurt, and then you was like, okay, I'm not gonna do this again next week. You at school doing the same shit. I used to get whoopings all the time for, like, talking during class and stuff. And then I would do it again the next week.
Dre Nicole
You wanna call?
Duran Bernard
So should I have really even been
Lex
getting punished for it in the first place? Cause not my mama reaping the benefits.
Dre Nicole
That part. That part. Somebody owe somebody.
Duran Bernard
Reparation.
Lex
A little reparation.
Duran Bernard
I agree with you on that. I like that. Okay, this was very. I want that link now.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yes, I got you. No, seriously, I'm very. I'm very pro children's rights.
Lex
Okay, so we gonna get into the first topic, which is kind of like a game. So we gonna play a game called singing in the background. And it's gon lead versus background battle. So we're going to basically sing a song. We're going to pick a song. One person is the lead singer, and the other two are the dramatic background singers trying to steal the moment. And the reason that we wanted to do this is because you started off background singing. How do you feel like you being a background singer helped with your confidence becoming the lead?
Dre Nicole
I was already my own artist Before I got into background. But theater is what helped sharpen my duality from being in the ensemble as well as doing your own thing. So when it's time for you to do your own thing, you work that stage back and forth. You cut up. And then when it's time for the bigger picture of things, you blend in. You lose your identity to match someone else's. So it just. It helped. It created my duality, a skill because. And also because I have my Grammy, I'm still doing background. Oh, yeah. I will never not have work.
Duran Bernard
Amen.
Dre Nicole
You know, when there's no ego involved, when you do it just because you genuinely love your art and you want to help wherever you can. Like, I will always, always be in the midst of things.
Lex
And that's a good point about the ego. A lot of the time, people will cut their hand off or just don't want to be a part of something just because they don't. Because they can't be the leader.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yeah. No, it's. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be about me all the time. I can be about the bigger picture. It doesn't have to be the center. You have to step back to be able to see where I am contributing to this thing.
Duran Bernard
Correct me if I'm wrong. I can't.
Dre Nicole
You're wrong. Already wrong.
Duran Bernard
You made a TikTok video because somebody was like, we wanna see Duran on Broadway. We wanna see him do more. You were like, I'm trying. But it was like, so talk about that.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yeah. No, I auditioned for Dreamgirls for Jimmy early and Chocolate Cake.
Duran Bernard
You've been good on that one.
Dre Nicole
I should upload my audition.
Duran Bernard
You have to.
Dre Nicole
But they did not call me back. And a part of me felt very relieved because if I had won this Grammy, and then I'm also about to do Dreamgirls, and I'm already all over the place. Like, I would have. I would have been exhausted to no end. Like, I already know. And that is a lifestyle. Like, that is eight shows a week.
Lex
That's a lot.
Dre Nicole
Eight shows a week. Your only off day is what, Monday?
Duran Bernard
Now we gotta send prayers up to our girl Meg.
Lex
She went to the hospital yesterday.
Dre Nicole
Well, who did? Who did?
Duran Bernard
Megan.
Lex
Thee, Stallion.
Duran Bernard
Oh.
Dre Nicole
Oh, no.
Duran Bernard
Dehydration, exhaustion. Mm. Yes.
Dre Nicole
It's like that kind of activity, like, that's Broadway is like the Olympics.
Duran Bernard
Like.
Dre Nicole
No, I'm sorry. Not the Olympics. The Marines of, like, theater and the theater world. Like, you. Like, you are going. Yeah. So I. In my mind, I would I would have still done it just because. For the experience. Of course. Because I've never done Broadway before. But also, Broadway isn't going anywhere.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
And I'm open to whatever makes sense. You know, what I can cram in, you know? Cause I. People need to see me. They need to see me. Absolutely.
Lex
I 100% agree. We do.
Duran Bernard
What's it called?
Dre Nicole
We got EGOT.
Duran Bernard
Yes. You gonna have an EGOT. I can feel it in my bones.
Dre Nicole
Ugh. Speaking of that word, I need to finish that song.
Duran Bernard
Ooh, I wanna hear now.
Lex
We got a little teaser.
Duran Bernard
Okay, go ahead. You know, we get distracted.
Lex
We do, we do. And that's my fault too. Cause I asked the damn question before we got into the game.
Duran Bernard
That's all right, that's all right.
Lex
So, okay, for the first song, it's Diary. Alicia Keys. Who wanna be the lead?
Duran Bernard
I think we needed to skip to the chorus. So he can do the background part, right? Yeah.
Lex
Gotta be the lead and the other people gotta be the background.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can just do. We can just. Gonna do the I won't tell part. Okay, okay, okay. I won't tell, I won't tell. Your secrets, your secrets.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, yeah.
Duran Bernard
See with me, I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell. Oh, no. Your secrets, your secrets.
Lex
Take it to.
Dre Nicole
Y' all hear that, though? Oh, y' all hear her? She was in key first two takes.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. I get a little carried away. She did.
Dre Nicole
No, no, no.
Duran Bernard
That's right. But I get ready.
Dre Nicole
But for her to not have no music and for her to start it, I'm like, okay, sis, I see you.
Duran Bernard
I'm ready for another one.
Lex
So which one we gonna do next?
Duran Bernard
Oh, you know what? This is an easy one. Week swv. You gonna do a good background on that one? Cause do they got background for week?
Lex
Yeah, they do.
Duran Bernard
Okay, they do.
Lex
I'm sure they do. Look, I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak. I lose control and something takes care
Duran Bernard
of me in a case.
Lex
It feels so amazing. It's not a face. I want you to stay with me. Oh, my God.
Duran Bernard
I swallow my pride.
Lex
Your love is so sweet it knocks me right off of my feet.
Duran Bernard
Can it slay while you love it makes me, makes me, makes me a mood.
Lex
That is how them background singers be, though. They be trying to take over, telling
Duran Bernard
you I know my part,
Dre Nicole
my part.
Duran Bernard
Okay, that was good. That was good.
Lex
That was good.
Duran Bernard
I said make the weed.
Lex
Yeah, that Boy, good. That was really good.
Duran Bernard
Which one you want to do?
Lex
I want to do Ready or Not. But I don't know all the lyrics. Oh, we can do can youn Stay in the Rain?
Duran Bernard
Okay. Okay. We gonna do the chorus. We gonna jump into the chorus.
Lex
We'll be the background singers this time.
Duran Bernard
Okay? Okay, okay. Okay. You gonna do the main part?
Lex
Sunny, sunny Days. Yes.
Duran Bernard
Okay. You gotta start it.
Lex
Yeah. You. Sunny days.
Dre Nicole
That's the chorus. Y' all doing backgrounds or. I'm doing backgrounds?
Lex
We doing backgrounds.
Duran Bernard
We gonna do backgrounds.
Dre Nicole
Cause I gotta do something.
Duran Bernard
You know what? I feel like we most even make professionals. Ooh,
Dre Nicole
calling HR on you.
Lex
Cause I need somebody who will stand
Dre Nicole
by me in the good times and bad times.
Duran Bernard
You will always.
Dre Nicole
Come on, Dynamic.
Duran Bernard
Always be right there.
Dre Nicole
Sunny days. Everybody loves them. Can you tell me?
Duran Bernard
Can you stand? Can you see these storms?
Dre Nicole
Will.
Duran Bernard
I know.
Dre Nicole
I know. All the days.
Lex
We know for sure.
Dre Nicole
This I know for sure.
Duran Bernard
Can you.
Dre Nicole
Can you stay in the rain?
Duran Bernard
I know that, right? Oh. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Can you stand? Can you stand?
Lex
And your breath smells phenomenal. Cause you was real close.
Dre Nicole
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Angela Yee
Oh, my God.
Duran Bernard
So check this out. Check this out.
Dre Nicole
Check this out. This is what you do. This what you do. Okay. You check. You got this. It's one of the secrets. Get you some tongue gel and a tongue brush.
Duran Bernard
Now, I got the tongue gel.
Dre Nicole
Tongue gel. It breaks up. So you can either do that or use theraflu, the mouthwash, but it breaks up the white coating on your tongue. That's what smells. Not your teeth. It's your tongue.
Lex
Sometimes it be that rotten tooth, though.
Dre Nicole
It can be that rotten tooth. But for those of us that be smoking and the Backwood brothers and sisters, my God. Today, wake and bake with y'.
Duran Bernard
All. God. Dig it in. Bake.
Dre Nicole
Okay. Smoke over there.
Duran Bernard
I'm not gonna lie. I'm glad we brought up breath, y'. All. I went to my. I've been talking about her all. I got my teeth clean. I went to JLM Dentistry in Atlanta. It's a black, totally black dentist office.
Dre Nicole
I love that.
Duran Bernard
Nothing but black women in there. I had a ball. When I tell y', all, I was like, this gum's just swollen. Yeah, I like that. Yeah.
Lex
I was having a bra.
Duran Bernard
It was a great cleaning.
Dre Nicole
I love that.
Duran Bernard
Oh, my God.
Dre Nicole
So, yeah, see, Black women.
Duran Bernard
Yes. We need more black women in the medical field. It's a lot of them already. But I'm saying we should shine the light on them. So I just. I'm Glad we brought that up. Okay. Period. Another. Yes, I know that's one. Make another one too. You ain't finna laugh.
Dre Nicole
One for the father, one for the son, one for the homo ghost.
Duran Bernard
What? Okay, can I tell a story?
Lex
Well, real quick.
Duran Bernard
Okay, go ahead.
Lex
Speaking of the drink, Todd, what are we drinking this week? Okay, my loosey is cause we are setting up.
Angela Yee
This is for so for one.
Lex
This is for the Grammy award winning Hello Duran Bernard Baby, I've been flouncing
Duran Bernard
through my garden all day.
Wheezy
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Lex
be called Bloom in honor of his Grammy award winning album. And we have some tequila in there. We have some green chartreuse, which is like more of an herbal liqueur.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex
We have a little bit of elderflower, some pineapple and some lime and just a splash of agave if you want it a little on the sweeter side and a splash of prosecco to give it some effervescence. And then because we're in our garden playing with all of these fun ingredients, we garnish this one with a blue orchid. All right, so this is the bloom just for you, mister.
Dre Nicole
And I got another one right up.
Duran Bernard
Yay.
Lex
Thank you, y'.
Duran Bernard
All. Can I just say I'm having a ball with you, too. I love when we have fun guests. Like, I'm having so much fun.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yeah. Now y' all are. Thank you.
Duran Bernard
Look at the Bible story for Tell me, Tell me. Cause, like, I really wanted you to come on the show because I had to tell you. So you probably. I don't know if you remember this or not. Cause y' all follow each other, right?
Lex
Yes, me and him follow each other. But if you about to talk. Are you about to talk?
Duran Bernard
Yes, I'm about to tell him about the day. Yes. So we met you on turf.
Lex
I saw you a few weeks ago at that party at Molly's party. And I was like, remember me from Kev Show?
Dre Nicole
Yes. Yes.
Duran Bernard
So I have to tell you a story about that day. Okay, so we filmed Churchy, right? And your part that we were in with you, that was our one scene. It was hilarious, mind you. But before, you know, we were, like, on set, like, all day, kind of waiting around. And we were, like, in the little waiting area. And you and Dre were over there just having a key, like, having a good time. Let me tell you something. I was in the corner and I felt so bad. I was like, I wanna talk to him, but I don't feel good. I had my diaper on. I had a diaper on because I had a heavy flout and I was sick. I had fibroids and things going on. And I was so sick, child. And I remember that day. I was like, hi, I met you, too. I, like, sling your DMs. I was like, I'm so sorry. Cause I was being so mad. You didn't even open it and read it. I said, let me unsend it, bitch.
Dre Nicole
Oh, Lord.
Duran Bernard
I didn't see that. But I felt so bad because I was literally in the corner, like, dying. Y' all were just over there.
Lex
We was having a grand old.
Duran Bernard
Y' all were having a ball.
Dre Nicole
I really hate that for y'.
Duran Bernard
All.
Dre Nicole
Like, that is just.
Duran Bernard
I was literally. I had a diaper on. I thought every time I got up and walked by you, I'm like, he can hear me coming. That diaper was just a crunching, Ty.
Dre Nicole
Not the crunch.
Duran Bernard
Oh, Lord, help me, Jesus. But I'm better now.
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Duran Bernard
I'm better now. You know what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
So I gotta be something.
Duran Bernard
I was like, oh, my God. I bet he thinks I'm just, like, so nasty and so rude. Because I felt like Dre was over there, you know, talking, and y' all were just. I was just looking over there like, it's okay, sister.
Dre Nicole
You know? Honestly, though, if I'm being.
Duran Bernard
You don't remember.
Dre Nicole
I don't.
Duran Bernard
Cause that's what I Was gonna say, wait, wait, wait.
Dre Nicole
And when she said that me and her was keying, I said, oh, that checks out. I don't remember that either. I'm just like. You know what I'm saying? So it's just.
Duran Bernard
But think of how life goes by. Like, I have been cringing in that moment for years. I have been cringing in that moment and thinking about. Like, he probably thinks.
Lex
And he wouldn't even think about it.
Duran Bernard
He wouldn't even think about it.
Lex
He ain't remember us when I said, seen him at the party.
Dre Nicole
No, no, no, I remember. I remember your face well.
Lex
You were like, you look familiar. And I was like, from Kev's show. And you was like, oh, yeah, a lot of times.
Dre Nicole
So here's the thing. And this is what I've had to get adjusted to. Not adjusted, but it's still one of those things where I have to remember a lot of people know my face. They don't know me personally. And so there would be a time where if you were. If I was out and about and someone called my name, I knew it had to be somebody that I knew because you not finna say Duran, like, you know me. So when I start getting called like that by strangers, it's like, okay, bet. Like, so. And also, I don't know where I've seen certain people from. Like, I'm like, I know I've seen you. I don't know if we've met in person or we've actually met or we've just seen each other on social media or it'll be something. And I. And it's not that I've ever been fake. It's not that. Like, oh, no, I don't think I remember you. It's never been that shit. It's just that I will have a very brief encounter with people and then they will see me some weeks or months or years later. Remember you saw me at that party five years ago when we had that brief encounter for 10 seconds. I don't. But we're meeting again now.
Duran Bernard
But you weren't like. You're not. You're not a forgettable person, if I'm being honest. So you know what I'm saying? So everyone.
Lex
And it also didn't give that either. Like, it didn't. Y' all weren't being fake?
Duran Bernard
No, it wasn't like, oh, you talking about when y' all seen.
Lex
No. Yeah. When I met you, when I saw you a few weeks ago, it didn't give that at all. I was just like, it Was a long ass time ago.
Dre Nicole
And I'm always introducing myself to you because I don't know who knows me also. So it's like, that's just a natural thing that I do. Hi, I'm Duran. You know. Yeah.
Lex
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Well, now I feel relieved. Oh, my God. How is she? Yes.
Dre Nicole
No more diaper. Amen.
Duran Bernard
Amen. Okay, now, y' all know I got to bring up random shit, but we gonna get into the second topic. I'm gonna wait to bring that up later. Cause I got some. I got a little bone to pick with you. Ooh. But topic two. When people with no style get money, is it cringe or are we hating? Okay. Do you ever look at wealthy people with new or old money and think, ooh, God, be giving money to the wrong people. Why do some wealthy people sometimes have the worst taste in everything? Home decor, cars, shoes, whatever it may be. Now it's just lighthearted. We don't have to get nasty and ugly. But have you ever seen somebody with money and be like, why was that the choice? Why did you make that decision? Cause, I mean, you go on the red carpets. I mean, you see what people got on. They've even like, how do you feel about style in Hollywood?
Dre Nicole
So I wanna first preface by saying that I am not a fashion expertise. Some fabrics, I couldn't tell you what it was. I know what cotton is. I think I know that's all I wear. I think I know the difference between silk and satin. Help me. But outside of that, like, you do.
Duran Bernard
You invaded me.
Dre Nicole
I said I think. Okay, I was about to say heavy on the thing.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
But outside of that, like, I just go with what makes me feel good. If I put it on and I feel confident. If I feel like, ooh, I like how this. I can move my legs. I can do all that. Like, it does this. And then there are pieces that I've seen that I'm like, this look. You just made that up. It looks like you just made that up and you're calling it high fashion. Like Balenciaga making trash bags. Or remember them balloon boots? The balloon like.
Duran Bernard
Or the red ones?
Dre Nicole
Or just certain things.
Duran Bernard
I'm like,
Dre Nicole
is it because of the brand? It's because of the label. It's obviously because of the label, you know, so. But I'm not a. I just know what looks, what I would wear. I can only go off of that. And my style and sense of fashion has absolutely evolved over the years because I have a style. Hey, we need an adult when we do certain things. Like getting dressed to go for the car. Wear carpet.
Duran Bernard
We can't be 12 makeup.
Dre Nicole
Okay. We cannot leave that to the children. My child. No.
Lex
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Duran Bernard
Car seat. Car seat, Yes.
Lex
I feel like when you go into a red carpet event, like, you absolutely should get a stylist. I mean, unless you just really be like that. Yeah. Unless you just got it like that. I will say you need a stylist.
Dre Nicole
I will say getting to this point in my career now where I can't go out unless I'm dressed is actually a little annoying.
Lex
You feel like you overthink what you about to put on.
Dre Nicole
It's not even about what I overthink. I can't go out and be seen in something looking crazy.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Because I'm good for wearing the same thing all the time. Garments are meant to be worn.
Lex
You got your favorite feet.
Dre Nicole
I got my favorite docs. I got my favorite high waist blue jeans and my black blazer. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm very simple. I'm not naturally in my natural. I don't. I'm not a flashy person.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
You know, it's very. It's very chill, but it's stylish, but it's chill. And so when I'm at the point in my career where when I want to go to a screening or I want to go to a premiere of something of a sort, and it's not necessarily anything on the. On the calendar for us to have to do, it's like, well, you know, you got to get style for that.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
It's like you.
Duran Bernard
Like, I can't even go outside.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Without having to be dressed up. So that.
Duran Bernard
Ugh.
Dre Nicole
Like, I'm. I'm annoyed. Like, I know first world problems, but that's.
Duran Bernard
Oh, my God. How to get a stylist. I have to put on these. Nice. I'm just playing with you. No, no, no.
Dre Nicole
I can't go out unless I'm stopped. Right. Cost to go outside.
Lex
Yeah, it does.
Dre Nicole
If I want to go out to the club, I need security.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
That's a ban.
Duran Bernard
Well, absolutely.
Dre Nicole
That is a band. To go outside.
Duran Bernard
So when you go to parlay. She came.
Dre Nicole
I don't really like it. Honestly, though. For real. For real. If I'm being. I don't like the club.
Lex
I don't like the club because the
Dre Nicole
sections got me up.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I don't like to be in the club.
Lex
Confined to one space.
Dre Nicole
I don't like to be confined to one space. I like to move About? I like to dance. I like to fellowship with the people. You know what I'm saying? I like to go up to, hey, Baranda, what you got going on? Like, I like the whole experience, but to be confined to a section and I feel like I'm on display. I'm already on display already when I go out into certain spaces. But to be in that. And I. I don't like it. Just. That's my coat. You staying here? Good. I'm about to go do a couple laps.
Lex
Yeah, no, I feel you. I feel like the club is cool when you on vacation or. Or every once in a while. Like, if you. But if you in your city and you in the club every week and you.
Dre Nicole
And you.
Lex
30 plus, find a new hobby.
Duran Bernard
I ain't gonna lie, y'.
Dre Nicole
All.
Duran Bernard
I've been outside cutting.
Lex
Yeah, that's not a hobby.
Dre Nicole
That's not a hobby.
Lex
Some people. That's why I said, find a new one.
Duran Bernard
I'm gonna get a new one real quick. I'mma do it.
Lex
But this is new for me, though.
Duran Bernard
I just been outside recently.
Lex
Being outside ain't new for you. You worked at a strip club.
Duran Bernard
Well, I'm talking about in my 30s.
Lex
You was outside at 30?
Dre Nicole
How old are you now?
Duran Bernard
I'm 30. I'm about to be 37 this year. But I've been going out recently with my friends. Cause, like, I am a homebody so Bad.
Dre Nicole
Cause that's where all your stuff is.
Duran Bernard
I know, but I do feel I
Lex
like to be around my sheets.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. Okay.
Dre Nicole
As she said, as Char Jackson said in Good Burger, you wanna go home. Why? Well, that's where my stuff is.
Duran Bernard
Exactly. And I told myself, this year I'm gonna be more social. So I have been going out a lot lately. I have just to be like. But it's not like, oh, I'm going out. I'm being connected with my friends. Like, my girls invite me out, and I'm usually that friend that says, no, I don't wanna go out. I wanna be at home. So now I'm like, I accept all happy hour invitations, all dinner invitations, wherever you invite me to, I'm coming. You know what I'm saying? Now let me ask you this. When you go out, do you get a stylist? Like, just to go to the club? Like, if you have a hosting or you're. You know, do you get a stylist for that?
Dre Nicole
Sometimes. However, my going out more so consists of, like, house parties.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Private mixers, like that type of thing. Because then I'm in an environment where I can hear myself think, I can hear myself talk over the music because it's not blaring. It's a more of a controlled environment. It's more intimate. So I can kind of move about in the space without the being sardined the fuck up and being the short king that I am. Being in spaces where you are sardined up and have to maneuver through people, it's not. I hate it. I don't like it.
Lex
It'd be too many smells in there.
Dre Nicole
It's not even smell.
Duran Bernard
You got thrown off.
Dre Nicole
It's not even smells. It's. You don't know who's next to you. And so I'm pretty sure y' all know this. Y' all ever been in the club and a man is trying to move past you and he put his hand on the small of your back?
Lex
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Oh, they be putting that peen on our back.
Dre Nicole
Oh, you was being tired.
Lex
What clubs you be in?
Duran Bernard
They be like, excuse me.
Dre Nicole
Excuse me. Yikes.
Duran Bernard
They do.
Dre Nicole
They do.
Duran Bernard
They be moving by and they. There is no reason you need to grab my waist and do all that.
Dre Nicole
Are y' all strapped?
Lex
I am.
Duran Bernard
I'm not.
Dre Nicole
Please.
Duran Bernard
But I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Lex
But I'm scared to carry my car.
Dre Nicole
Let me tell you something what fear is. Fear is. Fear is ignorance.
Duran Bernard
Okay. I'm over 12 and.
Dre Nicole
No, no, I got you. Fear means. I mean, I'm sorry. Ignorance means the lack of knowledge.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
We fear what we do not understand. We fear what we do not know. The more time you spend with something and you get an understanding of it, the less you are afraid.
Lex
Yep.
Dre Nicole
You as a black woman, need to be strapped. These niggas are crazy.
Shopify Announcer
They are.
Duran Bernard
I agree. I need to get over that fear, though.
Dre Nicole
I keep.
Duran Bernard
I've been saying for years, I'm gonna go to the gun range, and I still haven't done it.
Lex
You gotta use it if you pull it out.
Duran Bernard
But
Dre Nicole
the whole thing is not to have to ever use it.
Duran Bernard
I know. I feel like.
Dre Nicole
But if you got. You got the bruh back up.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
If you got back up, bruh.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Don't let.
Duran Bernard
Don't let this top.
Dre Nicole
Don't. Don't let the. Don't let the lace fool you.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Take your sister to the range.
Lex
She need to go.
Dre Nicole
They don't need to go. Pull up to the house. Be like, sis, get in the car. We're going.
Shopify Announcer
Don't be like, this.
Duran Bernard
Ain't no asking. Don't be ready.
Lex
Cause I used to be the same way. Like, I used to be scared to, like, walk around with a gun. Cause I do feel that way. Like, I feel like if you pull that shit out, you be pissed. You might have to use it. Because it's either gonna be you or me. You can't just pull it out for fun and be like, move.
Dre Nicole
And that's my father as one of his famous sayings that he said to me when I was growing up. Yeah, it's me and you till it's me or you.
Lex
Yeah. Ooh, he right.
Duran Bernard
But I'm not gonna lie. Being a homeowner now, I do feel like I need one in the house.
Lex
Yeah, I need one in the house. Yeah. I just don't play that shit. I feel like I be having too much shit on. I be having to walk.
Duran Bernard
Oh, I know you ain't cold. Sitting behind her. She got it on her.
Lex
No, but it's real chilly over there.
Duran Bernard
You gonna be warm over there. But I just. Yes,
Lex
it's just about that. But then it's also, I think, how you pull up as a woman, too. Like, I be pulling up, I be hopping out of.
Duran Bernard
See, I popped out my hoopdick. Okay. No problems.
Dre Nicole
No problem.
Lex
And then I'm small in stature as well, so I feel like when you tiny people be thinking that they could try you, like, it's like, oh, look at her. She's so little. She probably helpless. She not with a man. Oh.
Dre Nicole
Like, also, if you want to at least get started on something, kickboxing.
Lex
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Self defense, if anything. Specifically, martial arts. Gung Fu. Mantis style. It's not gung.
Lex
What is that?
Dre Nicole
It's not kung. That's because of that ass song. Everybody was.
Duran Bernard
Kung Fu Fight. Oh, I would say a panda. Panda.
Dre Nicole
No, no, no, no, no. They got up. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's G. Gung Fu.
Lex
Gung Fu.
Dre Nicole
G, U, N, G. Okay. F U. Okay. Gung Fu Mantis style, specifically. That's what I studied. So it's pretty much like yoga.
Lex
Okay.
Dre Nicole
But sharp with the. You're breathing, it's flowing. You move like you flow.
Duran Bernard
I like that.
Dre Nicole
So get into that.
Lex
Okay.
Duran Bernard
Gung Fu.
Dre Nicole
Gung Fu. Mantis.
Duran Bernard
Mantis. Okay, I'm gonna look at that up.
Lex
I'm gonna look it up, too. Cause I try.
Duran Bernard
You look like you a flip somebody, baby.
Dre Nicole
The last thing you would wanna see is somebody try to fight you. And then you drop to the floor. Like, drop to the floor. Like, okay, bet. Let's go. And then you put your Foot up.
Lex
Like I'd be scared.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, no, Yeah. I wouldn't fight you if you dropped the floor and put your. Drop to the floor.
Dre Nicole
Put your feet up. Cause you gotta get down to reach to me. Nah, come down to my level, bitch.
Wheezy
Oh, yeah.
Duran Bernard
I'm not fighting either.
Lex
He can fight or he crazy. Either way. Either way, I don't wanna find out.
Duran Bernard
I'm not doing that. He's mentally uncomfortable. I'm like, what's up, nigga? Let's go. He like, yeah, okay, right?
Dre Nicole
You drop to the floor, put your leg up in there like, come on, bitch. Come on.
Duran Bernard
I wouldn't be trying out what's next. Yeah, I'm finna gung fu on they assume unfold.
Lex
But no. One thing about us, we always going
Duran Bernard
to get off topic.
Dre Nicole
I know, I know.
Lex
We were supposed to be talking about. No, but it be us Duran. It be me and Lex.
Duran Bernard
Like me, I'm fine.
Lex
Because we supposed to be talking about people with who get money when they don't be having no style.
Duran Bernard
Well, I do want to add something. Go ahead, go ahead.
Lex
Well, I was just going to say, in the words of Jay Z, you could pay for school, but you can't buy class just because you get some money. That doesn't automatically mean that you're gonna have style or that you're gonna be able to dress like. That's why I think it's important to know what to do with your money. And people don't like delegating tasks. People feel like they can do everything. Just because you're a great singer or you're a great actress, that doesn't mean that you can style yourself. You might need to go ahead and use some of that money to hire you a stylist to get you together.
Duran Bernard
And I also think. I think nowadays we are being more expressive. We're being ourselves. What about personal style as well? Like, nobody really has personal style. I feel like, especially with the. You see one Instagram girl have something on. They all got the same. They all got the same shoe. They all got the same bag.
Dre Nicole
They all got the same ass.
Lex
That too.
Duran Bernard
Now why am I in it? I got mine first. I'm just playing. I'm playing. No, but I say all that to say because I think that we need to bring back just like wearing things that you like that you feel good in and learn how to style things better.
Lex
I don't know, just cause you feel good in it, sometimes it be tacky.
Duran Bernard
Well, yes, no, I agree. But what I'm saying is you can get a stylist, it feel good and
Lex
it still don't look good.
Duran Bernard
But people think it's a label. They gonna put that Chanel on.
Lex
But it look crazy. But it's not even about it being a label. Sometimes. Sometimes in my personal opinion, it could not have no label on it. It's about how people piece things together. It's about people over accessorizing. I think a lot of the time it's all of those things that make people look like tacky. You know what I mean? And it doesn't have anything to do with a price. Cuz some girls wear fast fashion well. And you can't even tell that it's fast fashion when they have it on because they put the pieces together really nicely. It's not always about it. Being designer. Designer can be tacky. Tackle. When you got on a full Gucci fig with the double jeans, that shit is tacky.
Duran Bernard
Gucci hat, Gucci jacket, Gucci Jack Gucci.
Lex
Yeah. Just because he's designer. Yeah.
Dre Nicole
So I will say this, just like how I spent more of my career working by myself than with other people. The moment that I started working with other people is when things started to move. I started to get into different rooms. I started to get nominated, you know, bringing in other people to bounce ideas off of. Now we're winning awards. So a lot of. So the thing is, for me at least don't think you have to do everything by yourself.
Lex
Right.
Duran Bernard
Agree.
Dre Nicole
There are areas in our lives where we have strengths, where we can utilize that. And then there are people that can pick up that stack and see where we can't see. So it's just about finding that synergy, that dream team, you know, Law Roach and Zendaya, Clive Davis and Whitney Houston. You know, in a time and an era, Khaleesa and the Neptunes. Like there's just Missy and Timbaland. Like there's a certain Michael B. Jordan and Ryan Krueger. Like there's just a certain synergy. Like you're not. You don't have to do it by yourself. You can't do it by yourself.
Duran Bernard
Come on now.
Dre Nicole
So when you find someone that understands who you are and can amplify that, then we got a sweet spot.
Lex
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Dre, Nicole and Lexp.
Lex
Come on.
Duran Bernard
Hey, Rubble.
Lex
Magic duo.
Wheezy
This is Weezy. WTF from Decisions, Decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation to take control of our sexual health, learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.
Angela Yee
Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business. Because people always ask me like, how do I actually run everything? So Shopify is literally the platform where I turned this tiny idea into a business. Before this, I was really just like popping up at any in person event, any vending opportunity I could, which I still do. But I wasn't really as focused online. I was like, you know, the websites are going to be too much to build out. I'm not like a super techie person, even though I can make things cute. And I didn't want to put up a website that would run my customers away. I wanted it to be efficient, to be easy. And Shopify helped me build brown girlgrinding.com out. Once I switched to Shopify, it finally clicked like, okay, I can actually do this. It's not about it being tough, it's about using the right platform to make it easy. Shopify takes all of the guesswork out. I build my own store, I manage my community, own my own customer relationships. Plus, this is my favorite thing. Shopify gets my products everywhere. I'm able to link stuff through Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop, the Shop app, even Chat, GPT and Instagram, which is very important for me and Shopify's AI co founder, sidekick, game changer, let me tell y'.
Lex
All.
Angela Yee
Right? So it's helped me not only optimize my site, it helps me look at my sales trends, it updates my product skills. All the stuff I'm absolutely not an expert in. But it's like having a genius business partner that never sleeps. And right now, the Brown Girl Grinding storefront and the Black Effect storefront is busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting. I love that for us. I am pumped, like so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a big way. And I will be there preaching this platform to all of the small black owned businesses that partner with us. So if you've been sitting on an idea or if you're ready to scale, which you've already started, this is your sign. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, you can do it too.
Planned Parenthood Announcer
Planned Parenthood Health Centers Save Lives but the Trump administration and its backers in Congress are blocking patients from using Medicaid at Planned Parenthood Health Centers for one simple reason. They want to shut Planned Parenthood down. Yet across the country, Planned Parenthood health centers are still there, opening their doors to care for their communities. That's because Planned Parenthood believes controlling your own body is the most basic freedom and they'll never stop fighting for it. One in four people in the US have been to a Planned Parenthood health Center for high quality health care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing and treatment, abortion and more. Planned Parenthood is still the country's largest sex educator and a trusted source of unbiased sexual and reproductive health information for millions of people. Planned Parenthood will never stop working to get people the information they need and they will never stop fighting so that every person is free to make their own decisions about their bodies and futures. At Planned Parenthood, Care continues to learn more, visit I'm fourpp.org if you're feeling
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Duran Bernard
All. Yeah, go ahead.
Lex
I just did a panel on Monday where I got honored for being like a woman that sets the bar in the spirits industry and I'm Congratulations.
Duran Bernard
Yay. Why you clap Clap.
Dre Nicole
Okay, woman.
Lex
But I was talking about like building my business and that is just so true. So I know there's a lot of entrepreneurs that watch the show. Y' all can relate to that. Because unless you're bringing in someone smarter than you that know more than you on the marketing, the administrators, the systems to even set in place to run your business. You're not going to be able to go anywhere. What you just said about being in rooms, getting nominated now, I would have never been honored if it had not been for me being outside, networking and moving around and showcasing my talents in my business. You have to share that with the world. That was just so perfectly eloquently put. So I just wanted to just jump in on that. Because having a team is important. You can't do everything. You can't be in every place all the time. And just the fact of the matter is, people are better at you than some. Like, you know what I mean? You're good at what you're good at, and people are good at other things. And you need to pay them. You need to be okay with paying them to do what they good at so you could do what you're good at.
Dre Nicole
You know what I'm saying?
Lex
I want to hire people that are smarter than me.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, always.
Lex
Because I'm not the smartest person in the room. I just know how to move it around.
Dre Nicole
And you don't need to be the smartest person in the room unless you are a teacher. And even then, you won't be the smartest person in the room because it's still an exchange of learning versus a teaching. Because even as the teacher, you are learning.
Duran Bernard
Absolutely.
Dre Nicole
You know, so that's why it's always when you. When you can be in a position in.
Duran Bernard
In.
Dre Nicole
In your. In your life, peer, not even just career, but in your life where you can always be teachable.
Lex
Yes.
Duran Bernard
You will never.
Dre Nicole
Where you can always. Here's the thing. I'll be wanting what I want and liking the how I like. And then there is the reality of what that is. And when you have people that can break down. Okay, I know this is what you want. However, this is what needs to happen. Because if you do X, Y and Z, you won't get the result that you wanted if you were to do what you need to do. So it's important to have people that can be your eyes and your ears and to trust them and they trust you. It's all an exchange.
Duran Bernard
I agree. Me and Dre call that connecting the dots.
Dre Nicole
You gotta know how to connect.
Duran Bernard
Me and Draya, we connected so many dots with just me and her. And then we was like, okay, bro, we gotta do this. We got that dot connected. Okay, we gotta outsource this. Wait, I connect them dots.
Dre Nicole
Wait, do you call your dude bro
Duran Bernard
sometimes when he piss me off? We do that to each other. You Know what?
Lex
She probably say, dog.
Duran Bernard
Dog. Yeah, yeah, dog, bro.
Lex
I do.
Duran Bernard
But that's how. That's how he know I'm mad at him. When I be like, all right, bro. All right, dawg. All right, my nigga.
Dre Nicole
Then you be like, would you date you?
Duran Bernard
Absolutely. I'm a hoot.
Dre Nicole
Would you date you?
Duran Bernard
I would.
Lex
I'm a grand time until you piece me off. Then she can get real.
Duran Bernard
She can get real in the field.
Lex
She get real in the field, but it do. But it also takes a lot to piss me off as well.
Duran Bernard
So what is your daddy life like? Because I feel like you keep your personal life so personal.
Lex
As he should.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Well, we gonna talk about it.
Dre Nicole
Here's it. Well, here's the thing. And I'm gonna break this down for you.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I give so much of myself through my art, through my physical body, through my, my, my, my upbringing. And I don't mind an opinion and a critique of that because it is something that I've put out there. I don't need a critique on who I love and who I'm building with. And I used to wonder why my homegirls would get so upset when people would have comments and opinions about their partners that they would personally post on social media. And it's like, well, babe, if you didn't post about it, no one would have an opinion. Like, it was just. It's really that simple. And so I purposely keep that over here because I have given so much of myself. If you want to know about certain things, I might put it in the music. Yeah, but that's not. That's not an opinion I'm looking for. As much as I would love to be a part of relationship goals and all that stuff, you have to. You have to have some kind of parameter, have something for yourself. And it's nothing that I'm ashamed of. It's just something that's important to me.
Duran Bernard
So you are in a relationship.
Dre Nicole
Something like that.
Lex
That's all the T. I need to lie. But I agree with that. I think when people put it out there, you can't be upset when people have opinions about it. You need to keep it to yourself.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely.
Lex
I love how every time you about to say some shit, you be like, he takes a deep breath.
Duran Bernard
He got a.
Dre Nicole
You hold.
Lex
You take a pause.
Dre Nicole
Okay, let me take a breath.
Lex
And then you smile. And I love that shit because it give. Like when your grandma was about to say some real shit and she had to get her thoughts together real quick before she start dropping them Gems.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Yeah.
Lex
And that's exactly what the fuck been going on. He be like, okay, you know who I want to.
Duran Bernard
He's very esteemed. You know who I want to.
Dre Nicole
Boomer parents.
Duran Bernard
I would love to see him and Dominique Morgan have a conversation.
Dre Nicole
When I say that's my Auntie Eve
Duran Bernard
Magic the read that she the fervor.
Dre Nicole
Oh, I love me some Dominique TS Madison. I love some Hope Giselle. Like, I love all my. All my. Like my sisters love them.
Duran Bernard
I would love to see you and Dominique just have a sit down.
Dre Nicole
We need to. I need. I want to. I want to make that happen as soon as possible.
Duran Bernard
You have to.
Lex
I would love to see that.
Duran Bernard
Love it. Shout out to Dominique.
Dre Nicole
Shout out to Dominique.
Duran Bernard
We have to have Dominique on. On the couch. I mean, y' all know we don't like to do a lot of like tiktokers and things like that, but I think Dominique is just so. I don't even know the word.
Dre Nicole
You're talking about. Someone who has a thought provoking analysis on what is going on in the world that is also comedic but witty comedic. Like you just have to have a. And she's going to extend your vocabulary.
Duran Bernard
Oh, them words.
Dre Nicole
Like even the breakdown that she gave about ej, you know, EJ Johnson. Which by the way, shout out to ej. I don't feel that when he said, well, I dress cuter than the girls. I don't think that he was saying women in general. I'm thinking he might have been talking about the girls in his high school that he was in.
Lex
But you also a billionaire heiress.
Dre Nicole
That part.
Duran Bernard
But he's also in. Let's be honest, he's in white spaces. He wasn't talking about us. He wasn't talking about us.
Lex
Cause he don't wear the full Gucci
Duran Bernard
feet and he doesn't wear the full Gucci fit. And he doesn't be around a lot of black women. Let's be honest. He's in spaces where maybe he do he. Not around us. That's why I said he's not around.
Dre Nicole
That's why I said I didn't think he was.
Duran Bernard
He's not in the room.
Dre Nicole
That's why I said I didn't think he was talking about women as a whole.
Angela Yee
Right.
Dre Nicole
I think he was talking about the women that he was in close, close proximity with. Like, oh, actually I dress better than you. That's fine. You talking about them, not us. Not.
Duran Bernard
I wasn't offended.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, yeah, but that's.
Lex
I wasn't either. I wasn't offended by that at all. I don't understand why people. I always say we're just living in a time where people love to be fake outraged by everything. Because when you wake up tomorrow, are you really gonna give a fuck what E.J. johnson just said?
Dre Nicole
They're not you.
Lex
Not like, it's just not that serious to be online creating all of these think pieces about something that's not gonna matter five hours from now. People just love to be upset. And in an uproar about you, I
Dre Nicole
don't have the energy. As Funky Dineva just said, I will deliver the news, but I don't have the energy to be outraged. And the stress that that puts on your body and your nervous system being mad about something that you genuinely have no control over, or are you even gonna do anything, anything about it? Like, genuinely, are you going to do anything about it? You know? And that's why I'm so glad that there are a nice collective of us that are taking our rest, Right? There's a nice collective of black women taking your rest. We don't need to be on the front lines. Get somebody else to do it. Seriously, be in your house. Your bonnet better be on. Yeah. Bonnet better be on.
Lex
Yeah, you right.
Dre Nicole
Don't move. The only march you need to be going to is to the refrigerator.
Duran Bernard
And that's what I do to the
Dre Nicole
front door to get your doordash. Like, what house are we talking about?
Lex
You, right? And if you think you would dress better than ej, put that shit on and make a ootd, but leave us alone.
Duran Bernard
It didn't even. I think that people don't. You're supposed to feel like you're the baddest bitch in the room. You are. When every time when somebody says they the baddest bitch in the room, it gets backlash. But why? Cause y' all say, oh, you're so insecure. But then when somebody's confident, y' all hold that.
Lex
You too cocky.
Duran Bernard
You too cocky and this and that.
Dre Nicole
So it's the confidence that gets confused with arrogance. Okay. Cause I know what I'm doing.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
And I am a little fluid.
Duran Bernard
I know that's right.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. That's.
Duran Bernard
Who can't sing to you?
Dre Nicole
Who can't sing to me?
Duran Bernard
Yeah. Cause we had an episode with Deontay Kyle, and he said Christina Aguilera couldn't sing, and it went viral, and it was a lot of backlash and things like that. So who is somebody that people just be like, they can sing and you be, like, a little pitchy I know
Dre Nicole
my publicist is looking at this, like, nigga,
Duran Bernard
but I don't think it matters if you can sing or not, because look at the success of Britney Spears.
Dre Nicole
Here's the thing.
Duran Bernard
It doesn't really matter if you.
Lex
You can sing.
Dre Nicole
I mean, so.
Duran Bernard
But I felt like Britney.
Dre Nicole
Here's the thing. Britney Spears owes her entire career to T Boz, because Baby, One More Time was originally for tlc.
Duran Bernard
Are you serious right now?
Dre Nicole
Oh, baby, baby. T Boz. How was I supposed.
Lex
I didn't know that.
Duran Bernard
I didn't know that. And then.
Dre Nicole
Chili, show me how you want it to be.
Duran Bernard
But what was last time?
Dre Nicole
They were not fucking with that. Hit me one more time, please.
Duran Bernard
No, but they already said, I ain't too proud to beg.
Dre Nicole
I understand, but you talking about something they're talking about. I'm not too proud to beg for sex.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
They're talking about Hit me. No. No, sir.
Duran Bernard
Wow.
Dre Nicole
No. And also, Slave for your was originally for Janet Jackson.
Lex
No, I didn't know that.
Dre Nicole
She said slave for what?
Lex
But I can do it.
Dre Nicole
I don't think so.
Duran Bernard
Mm.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Stop.
Dre Nicole
Brittany is Janet's daughter. We all know this.
Angela Yee
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Now I agree with that.
Lex
Yeah, she is.
Dre Nicole
That's her daughter.
Duran Bernard
Play it for you. Was for Janet.
Lex
And that's a good song.
Duran Bernard
I can hear it.
Dre Nicole
It is.
Duran Bernard
Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me?
Dre Nicole
Do another time and place oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me? Living behind my knees indeed.
Lex
She love it.
Duran Bernard
She love.
Lex
She do.
Duran Bernard
What was that like that today? He. Do y' all do that too, though. Y' all know that clip to my.
Dre Nicole
Michelle. Michelle Pharrell.
Duran Bernard
You need to stop.
Lex
That just feels sexy.
Dre Nicole
She said,
Duran Bernard
I'm gonna cry.
Lex
Put that foot up, gung fu panda.
Duran Bernard
Hey. Yeah. See, Ty, it wasn't me today. Oh, she was looking like, I like that. I am weak as fuck. Cause I remember that. I liked it.
Lex
I did, too.
Dre Nicole
Okay. Ooh, ooh. And I like it.
Duran Bernard
Okay, okay. But I want to get back to the tea.
Dre Nicole
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Duran Bernard
So slave for you. I never knew that.
Lex
It was for Jani.
Dre Nicole
That was for Jani. And she said, absolutely not.
Lex
But I get it. I don't want nothing that has to do with a slave in a song I've seen.
Duran Bernard
Jack Harlow didn't say no to whips and chains.
Lex
Jack Harlow is white.
Duran Bernard
So it's on his.
Lex
So what was your point?
Duran Bernard
Cause he should have said, no, I don't like whips and chains.
Lex
But he's white.
Duran Bernard
You like whips and chains. Jack Harlow.
Lex
That song was also about. I'm glad he didn't say that.
Duran Bernard
You're loving on me. Oh, we can't get whipped. We can't get whipped.
Dre Nicole
The album titled Monica. I'm still.
Duran Bernard
Is it Monica?
Dre Nicole
I'm still clutching my pearls. That's all.
Duran Bernard
That's what they said. Monica, Monica.
Dre Nicole
That's all.
Duran Bernard
I like Jack Harlow. I can't lie.
Lex
I didn't pick that up. Wait, his album was called Monica M O N I.
Duran Bernard
And listen, boy, I'm no rowdy chick. Monica.
Dre Nicole
I just.
Duran Bernard
What do you think it was? Did you listen to the album?
Dre Nicole
I have not as of yet.
Lex
What? So I'm stuck on.
Duran Bernard
He said he makes black. Well, he said I got blacker.
Dre Nicole
He felt like he got blacker.
Duran Bernard
He said I got blacker because usually when white artists make music, they go. They go back to country like Post Malone.
Dre Nicole
But he went into.
Duran Bernard
He said I went deeper.
Dre Nicole
He looks like he's dressing like Remy Shan right now. And if you don't know about that. Take a message from my love Take a message from my message.
Duran Bernard
You went way back. Y' all don't remember Remy Shan now what the hell?
Dre Nicole
I heard that Carlo has turned into.
Lex
I don't.
Duran Bernard
He is a woke king. I love it though. I'm not gonna lie. I kind of like it.
Lex
So wait, he really named his album Monica?
Duran Bernard
Monica.
Lex
M O N I C A I
Dre Nicole
C A M O I see K trying to take my man away from me. Y' all remember that song? Monica, Monica, Monica oh, Monica Stalking and hawking and jocking and she follow ya what she don't know is that I'm looking Father. Somebody better let her know. I don't what she said Stalking and hawking and jocking and she always following you.
Duran Bernard
I don't remember that.
Dre Nicole
You don't? It came out in 2001. It was a group called Before Dark.
Lex
Oh, I thought it was Monica.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Was called Monica.
Duran Bernard
I ain't never heard that one.
Dre Nicole
The song was called Monica.
Duran Bernard
What album?
Dre Nicole
That was on Before Dark?
Lex
Okay, now I do know Before Dark.
Duran Bernard
I feel like if I heard it. No, no, no. I remember that.
Dre Nicole
They was real flat on that last note too.
Duran Bernard
I'm always flat.
Lex
But they used to do that a lot in the 90s. Like though I'm kind of a little glad that we've elevated from the way they sing in the 90s.
Duran Bernard
You hate to do you hate that song? What's the first time that I saw your brown?
Lex
I feel like they used to sing world nasally yeah.
Duran Bernard
No.
Dre Nicole
A prime example of that. A prime example. A prime example.
Lex
And can we please. Doing what you're doing to me.
Duran Bernard
Wait, say me and you, homie. Dre, you rock me.
Dre Nicole
Dre, you remember Mona Lisa? Can you tell me what's going on in your mind? Is it affection you need?
Lex
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Is it love you wanna find? Where you wanna go? Just ask me my sign.
Duran Bernard
I like it.
Dre Nicole
And just be sure that you won't. You can't be wasting my time.
Duran Bernard
It's that point. No, Dre, Tell me where you'll find. No, no, no, listen.
Dre Nicole
If you love, you wanna find.
Duran Bernard
Fine. Yeah. No, wait, wait. I got one for you. In the 90s, I used to be like, what was this one? He's a monster.
Dre Nicole
No way. The fact that Prince signed off on that sample. That is a Prince sample.
Duran Bernard
That's a good song, though.
Dre Nicole
That is Do Me Baby.
Duran Bernard
It's a good song.
Dre Nicole
I understand. But he was very anti sample, so the fact that he approved He's Mine by Moke and Steph, which, by the way, I have that album on vinyl.
Duran Bernard
I love it.
Dre Nicole
My song off that album is Come on and follow this. I'll give you what you need. Something physical. But I'll just be gentle. That is my shit.
Duran Bernard
Uh. Oh.
Lex
He got too excited, that Harry.
Duran Bernard
What is going on? That blue.
Dre Nicole
Remember that girl that lost her wig?
Duran Bernard
Yes. Oh, my God.
Dre Nicole
She said, oh,
Duran Bernard
okay, let's focus.
Lex
But it was also. It was the way they used to sing, but it was also the dance moves.
Dre Nicole
I liked it. It was.
Duran Bernard
What was that girl's name? Do you really want to touch it? Oh, Monifa.
Dre Nicole
Speaking of Touch it by Monifa, I got a speeding ticket because of that song. When I got my first car when I moved out to Los Angeles, it was a. A silver. I call it the Silver Bullet. It was a 1999 convertible Mustang.
Duran Bernard
Cause you was on me too hard, baby.
Dre Nicole
I was on my way to the skating rink out in Chino Hills. I was on the phone with one of my good Judy's. Bitch and Touch it by Monifa came on in the shuffle. Bitch, my foot went.
Duran Bernard
I can't remember what song she sampled. I got pulled over. It's a good song they talking about.
Dre Nicole
Do you know how fast you were going?
Lex
Actually, I.
Dre Nicole
Listen. I was just listening to Monifa, and
Lex
they was probably like.
Dre Nicole
They were, can you get out the car and walk?
Duran Bernard
Sure.
Lex
Is Monifa gonna come pick you up?
Dre Nicole
I had to tell her that when I first met her, I was like, I Got a speeding ticket because of your ass, bitch.
Duran Bernard
That's a song, though.
Wheezy
It is.
Lex
It is.
Dre Nicole
Speaking of bops, Monifa wants to talk.
Duran Bernard
Oh, are we gonna. We gotta go into the bed now.
Lex
It's time to get into the bed.
Dre Nicole
The bed. I love the bed bow.
Lex
The bed bow, bow.
Duran Bernard
A bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow,
Dre Nicole
bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. And you know that I'm up now Stay down, stay down and come up like my wrist up and I'm AP. Look at my wrist. Bow, bow, bow. Hey, shout out to Faze Lee. Faith Leezay. I think that's how you pronounce her name.
Duran Bernard
You are cut. We are cutting up so bad.
Lex
The time is being had.
Dre Nicole
It is.
Duran Bernard
I love it. I love when y' all hang out. Okay, go ahead, Dre.
Dre Nicole
Sorry.
Lex
Ah, okay. So for the bad topic.
Duran Bernard
Well, first. Oh, yeah.
Lex
So why you told me to go ahead?
Duran Bernard
Sorry. It was my bad. Cause I looked up and I said, oh, go ahead.
Lex
Go ahead.
Duran Bernard
Okay, so first of all, the bed is always sponsored by Salt xo. Shout out to Salt xo. If you are a person who loves wellness and things that are all natural, you need to use Salt xo. It gets my ph balanced.
Lex
First of all, yes, it's gonna have your ph balance. It's gonna have your coochie feeling like you ate a meat. And on top of that, outside of just vaginal washes to keep your ph balance, they also have other products. Like, she has boric acid supplements.
Wheezy
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Lex
she also has a sweet release, which is slippery elm, which is really good for your GI tract, but it's also good for that coochie. You need a little lubrication. It's gonna get you right.
Duran Bernard
And then they also have the rejuvenating oil, which works great on ingrowns. Do you get ingrowns anywhere?
Dre Nicole
See, I stopped shaving my backyard because of the ingrowns.
Duran Bernard
We gonna send you with his bet
Lex
and it smell really good.
Duran Bernard
And I want you to give us an honest review on how you like it.
Dre Nicole
Oh, absolutely.
Duran Bernard
Yes. This helps with ingrowns. So get y' all rejuvenating oil. Cause it's for, you know, whoever needs to use it. Okay, go ahead. My bad, girl.
Lex
Amen, sister.
Duran Bernard
Uh huh.
Lex
Okay, so for the bad topic, we're gonna talk about catching prints, which I had never heard this term before. Have you heard it?
Dre Nicole
I feel like I recently just heard it, but I didn't get a thorough breakdown. Is it when a woman just. Or someone notices your print in your sweats?
Lex
Yes, but more so for men though, right?
Duran Bernard
Yeah, they catch my print.
Lex
They be catching my print.
Dre Nicole
But no, no, y' all have moose now.
Lex
We do have moose knuckles.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Y' all don't have print. Y' all have moose knuckle.
Lex
It's a little print too.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, it's a shape. It's a dent.
Lex
It is.
Dre Nicole
It's a.
Lex
It's a crease.
Duran Bernard
Yes, a crease.
Lex
It's a crease.
Duran Bernard
It's that split Ebi.
Dre Nicole
Yes, the crease that passes all in the skirt.
Duran Bernard
Okay, so how you feel about the print?
Lex
Well, the question is, have you ever noticed the print and then you was trying to look away or you didn't know where to look? Me, if I see a print, I'm gonna look.
Dre Nicole
I mean, obviously if it's there, you want me to look, right?
Duran Bernard
I'm not gonna lie. I don't like when men have their print out.
Lex
So you be shy.
Duran Bernard
I have been violated. Why are you shaking at me?
Lex
So you be like this.
Duran Bernard
I mean, I look and then I be like, come on, Lonnie, why do you know everything?
Dre Nicole
I've been on the Internet for 30 years, ma'. Am.
Duran Bernard
Thanks, but no. I feel like he had a lot of years for the Internet now. I feel like sometimes like women, like, we have on like tight workout pants, but we have on draws sometimes that Garfield gonna show.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
And we can't help it. It's just a big fat monk.
Lex
But, you know, I know.
Duran Bernard
And let me say this. I'm glad we brought this up. Cause when I'm on Poor Minds and we talking, y' all can call me Garfield. If I post a nice, nice picture and I'm thinking I'm cute. Don't comment Garfield under there. There's brands out here watching me. They, like, look at Garfield, bitch. That thing bad as fuck.
Lex
But they might think that's your favorite cartoon.
Duran Bernard
No, them braids is not.
Dre Nicole
We're ready to party.
Duran Bernard
You know what I'm saying? I can't help it, but I do feel like it's a little different for men. For the most part. Honest.
Dre Nicole
Okay, honest question. Is it really that big of a deal? We already see the imprint of y' all breastesses.
Duran Bernard
Mm. And her nipples, they all.
Dre Nicole
Or the. Or the. Not no more.
Lex
I want to.
Dre Nicole
Or the curvature of an ass. Okay. We know it's there. Like, is it truly that big of a deal?
Duran Bernard
You know why I say yes and no? No. If you're just. You run into the store real quick. Yes. Because there's men that are being weird about it.
Lex
Okay.
Duran Bernard
When you're. Yeah.
Lex
I did see a video on Instagram the other day that made me a tad bit uncomfortable. So it was this man, and he was standing outside, and he had some boxers. Well, he had on, like, some long, like, basketball shorts, but that was, like, this light blue color, so you could tell he didn't have no drawers on underneath. And you could see his print or whatever. And he was like, I don't care about what women talking about. They don't listen to men. I got money, and I touch cervixes. And I was like, that's not good.
Dre Nicole
You touch cervixes.
Lex
But you could see the dick, though. And I was like, yeah, but my thing is.
Dre Nicole
Okay, is that all you? Is that all you have to offer? Are you. Are you actually cute? Because a lot of be getting away with they meat and they not the body. A lot of these be ugly as fuck, and they think just pumping iron that's going to make this. I got to look at you, nigga. Yeah, I have to look at you. Ain't. We can't. Ain't. But so much hitting it from the back, we gonna do. Ain't so many paper bags I can put over your goddamn head, I be able to look at you.
Duran Bernard
Hello. But let me ask y', all this one.
Dre Nicole
My mother was a real ho.
Duran Bernard
You need.
Dre Nicole
And she sold me for 10.
Lex
$10 in a fix, she fixed up $10. If that could be bought for $10,
Duran Bernard
she finna come get you again. See how you do. She finna come get you again.
Lex
$10.
Duran Bernard
Why would you do that?
Dre Nicole
I have a man.
Lex
I'm weak.
Duran Bernard
Who loves me. That loves me. Titus, y' all your fault. I'll take all the responsibility. And I won't let him make out the view.
Angela Yee
Making that face.
Duran Bernard
Dude, Dre, what face you was making? I got a man.
Dre Nicole
I am a man.
Duran Bernard
Y' all going ahead?
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I just want to say real quick. I just have to. I just have to say real quick, Uncle Tyler.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. Uh.
Lex
Oh.
Dre Nicole
You have made some of the most traumatic films, comedies. Now, I just want you to know there is a whole generation behind us that are looking at us like, why are y' all laughing at the Color Purple? Why y' all laughing during or quoting what's Love Got To Do With It? And all these, like, traumatic movies.
Lex
I wrote it, Ike.
Dre Nicole
It's your fault.
Duran Bernard
I know the song, Ike.
Dre Nicole
I wrote it because all them ad libs that he was doing in them plays.
Duran Bernard
It's all right, though. We needed that. I mean, they're looking at us crazy.
Dre Nicole
They are.
Duran Bernard
The new generations. Like, how are y' all watching this? Cause they wasn't there.
Lex
Or even for colored girls.
Duran Bernard
So you the one to be. Oh, that was a sin. Oh, you doing me?
Dre Nicole
He said, no, it's Loretta Devine.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I just met Loretta, by the way. I love her.
Duran Bernard
I love her. I love her voice is so, like, comforting.
Lex
It is also, too.
Dre Nicole
And I just say I'm so grateful to be in the same timeline as Jennifer Lewis.
Duran Bernard
A gym alleged.
Dre Nicole
There is nothing in the world like getting cussed out by Jennifer Lewis.
Duran Bernard
You got cussed out, baby.
Dre Nicole
We were FaceTiming one of the first few times we were talking, and I was smoking a Dutch.
Duran Bernard
She said, I know this motherfucker ain't smoking on the goddamn FaceTime. Oh.
Dre Nicole
And I was like, ooh. But then I wait. Then I went to go try to sneak my.
Duran Bernard
She was like, take one more hit, nigga.
Lex
I need to get cussed out by a legend. I ain't living right now.
Dre Nicole
Between getting gathered by Lynn Whitfield and getting cussed out by Jennifer Lewis, life is complete.
Duran Bernard
You finna get blocked by Oprah?
Lex
I'm about to add that to my
Dre Nicole
no for real life.
Lex
What is it called?
Dre Nicole
Well, I've been blocked by Mary J. Blige.
Duran Bernard
For real.
Dre Nicole
But that's on X. But I don't Think that's really her. But that's because niggas kept tagging her in my cover of Crispy Chicken. And it's just again. I know, I know.
Duran Bernard
Chicken Fresh let.
Lex
That was a good song.
Duran Bernard
I don't know why. Why did people drag her? For my life. I thought that was good. I think people the backlash, but I thought it was a hit.
Dre Nicole
But nobody was giving Peabo Bryson and Vested Williams any fever about scatting about Big Mac burgers.
Duran Bernard
You know what I'm saying? McDonald's been making them commercials.
Dre Nicole
Extra cheese, lettuce, pickles, onions, pickles. I'm having on a sesame Y bun. Like.
Lex
Or Smokey Robinson about there.
Duran Bernard
Oh, yeah. He said we was smoking. Smoking that crack.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Smoking that dude.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Smoking that hoe.
Duran Bernard
So it's like, leave her alone. I thought the commercial was great. And guess what? When I saw it for the first time, guess what I went and did? Went and got me a crispy chicken with lettuce.
Dre Nicole
Do they even still have those?
Lex
I don't think so. But they need to bring it back. Cause then I might go back.
Dre Nicole
No. What Dunkin Donuts need to bring back is the strawberry banana smoothies with the Greek yogurt. Okay? That's what y' all need. Need to bring back.
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Y' all are on notice.
Duran Bernard
I didn't even know they had that.
Dre Nicole
They did.
Duran Bernard
And speaking of food.
Dre Nicole
And they discontinued it.
Lex
And it was.
Dre Nicole
Speaking of food. Oh, my God.
Lex
It was the best thing on me. Oh, God.
Duran Bernard
Well, speaking of food, real quick. Cause I told you I had something to charge you up about earlier, so I'm ready to talk about it now. Cause that was the perfect time. And then we gonna move on. What's wrong with ice cubes and orange juice? Cause you got so upset that she said she liked ice cubes and orange juice. I think I don't even like ice cubes. Really? But I think ice cubes and orange juice are fine. Cause orange juice is thick, so the ice cubes will kind of thin it out.
Dre Nicole
No, uh, we don't need to thin out our orange juice. Furthermore, pulp in your orange juice is a sign of laziness. Mm, it is. Unless it is fresh squeezed. Yeah, orange juice is the only time I'm going to accept orange juice.
Duran Bernard
Mm. Po.
Dre Nicole
Ice in your orange juice. I know you got bodies hidden under your house. Mm, mm, mm. Yeah, I know you do. You and Jeffrey Dahmer. Absolutely. See, they're sisters. Okay? People who drink orange juice with ice in it and Jeffrey Dahmer, your sisters.
Lex
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. As an orange juice connoisseur myself, I'm crying.
Dre Nicole
What kind of orange juice?
Lex
I like orange juice without the pole.
Dre Nicole
No, what kind of orange. What brand?
Lex
Oh, simply with a little ice. No, that's why you lost me. If anything, if you want it a little colder, put it in the freezer so it can get frothy.
Dre Nicole
Get a chilled. Get a chilled glass. Get a little frothy with liquid inside of the glass.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
So that it can chill the beverage. Amen.
Lex
I agree.
Dre Nicole
We don't need any ice.
Duran Bernard
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna let y' all have these. Cause pulp.
Dre Nicole
We don't need ice.
Duran Bernard
Okay, we don't.
Dre Nicole
We don't need ice.
Lex
Please, no ice. No ice. But pulp is weird to me. Cause why is my juice textured?
Duran Bernard
I don't want no textured juice.
Dre Nicole
So here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Duran Bernard
I'm sorry, y'.
Dre Nicole
All.
Duran Bernard
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Dre Nicole
May I have one more, please? P A, R, T. Because I gotta. Oh.
Duran Bernard
Oh, my gosh.
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Duran Bernard
Oh. Okay.
Dre Nicole
It's just nasty. That's what it is.
Duran Bernard
Okay, that's fine.
Dre Nicole
Just like chitlins and black Eyed peas. Ice and orange juice. Juice nasty.
Lex
Or just like chitlins, Period.
Dre Nicole
Period.
Duran Bernard
Black Eyed peas are amazing.
Dre Nicole
You know what? Can I just say this? I am so grateful. Shout out to you, Cherilyn, my first best friend, okay? She never forced me to eat anything that I did not want to eat. See, that's why every time I watch Crooklyn, my inner child be like, every time he sees Nate have to eat those black eyes.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dre Nicole
Oh, God. Oh, God. Just throw me in the chokey for the weekend, why don't you? I have eight black eyed peas.
Duran Bernard
What's your favorite food?
Lex
Okay, but have you had them with, like, the cooks. Like, slow cooks with the turkey necks with the seasoning with the rice and little hot sauce? Have you had them like that?
Dre Nicole
It's just when I. When. When the. When the pea explodes.
Duran Bernard
Oh.
Dre Nicole
In my mouth.
Duran Bernard
I love that.
Lex
The spirit of Which y' all talking about both.
Dre Nicole
Spirit of regret. Watch is over me because. Why is this in my mouth? I've never liked black Eyed Peas. Now, what I do like.
Duran Bernard
Yes. Let's talk about.
Dre Nicole
We love a grill. Everything that I usually do for the most part, is grilled.
Lex
Okay.
Dre Nicole
We love a grilled chicken.
Lex
I like grilled chicken.
Dre Nicole
We love salmon. Mm.
Duran Bernard
Mm.
Dre Nicole
We love some ground turkey.
Lex
Mm.
Dre Nicole
I got that.
Duran Bernard
Meal prep.
Dre Nicole
Of course. I love a rice roach. Okay. Give me some shrimp.
Duran Bernard
Oh, a rice roach. Okay.
Dre Nicole
I love a mussel.
Lex
Yes, I like mussels.
Dre Nicole
A little lobster tail. Yes, please save the turkey bacon. Okay? You and those putters of ice and orange juice, y' all are. Again, y' all are sisters.
Lex
I like turkey now.
Duran Bernard
Turkey bacon and ice and oj.
Dre Nicole
Your sister.
Duran Bernard
That's my whole birthday now.
Lex
See, I used to fuck up some turkey bacon. However, they said that it's like a class A carcinogen. And I was like, mm, mm, I can't eat that no more. Cause it's processed meat. Which I did know that, but, like. Yeah, So I don't eat it no more.
Duran Bernard
Do you like beans? Any kind of beans?
Dre Nicole
Beans, greens, tomatoes, tomatoes, lamb. Hog moss, Boss moss. You know, black beans a little bit. In my chipotle order.
Lex
I like black beans.
Duran Bernard
That's it.
Lex
A little pinto, A little bit.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Red beans and rice, too.
Duran Bernard
All right, okay.
Dre Nicole
You got a little red beans and rice.
Duran Bernard
All right. Okay, now that's fine.
Dre Nicole
I love rice, period.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, I'm a rice cooker.
Dre Nicole
Especially congee.
Lex
I like rice.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Duran Bernard
I'm not mad. Oh. I was Chinese at the beginning of the year.
Lex
What the fuck is congee?
Duran Bernard
It's a breakfast that's warm.
Dre Nicole
I got you. I got you, sis. I got you. Congee is Chinese grits.
Lex
Oh, okay.
Dre Nicole
It's just a little soupier. But they put bits of pieces of chicken in there. Some chives, some ginger, you know, And I put a little lemon pepper seasoning in there, you know, to liven it up.
Duran Bernard
Lemon pepper.
Dre Nicole
And I just got a rice cooker, so I'm about to try it. It takes an hour to do, but I'm. You know.
Lex
That sounds like a spread.
Duran Bernard
You know, it's like a. Porridge.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, porridge.
Lex
Okay.
Dre Nicole
And one thing you want to do. Okay, so. Okay, so do this.
Lex
What's today with chicken pieces? Porridge with chicken pieces.
Dre Nicole
What's today?
Duran Bernard
It's not sweet.
Dre Nicole
Okay, okay. I know what today is. So for the next week, ladies do this. Because I heard this really benefits y'. All. For those of you who have uteruses. Oh, yes. May I have another thing?
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Warm water. First thing in your stomach.
Duran Bernard
Oh, I've been Chinese. Oh. Y' all remember when I was Chinese? At the end of the year, he,
Dre Nicole
like, you don't even.
Duran Bernard
You gotta add goji berries in there.
Dre Nicole
No, no, no. But you don't. I mean, goji berries are cute, but you don't even need lemon because that's too much acid on your teeth. Come on now.
Duran Bernard
Well, mine.
Lex
Porcelain. It's all right. I don't think it's gonna do nothing.
Dre Nicole
My eyes aren't really green. This. You know what? This is my hair.
Lex
Right? Exactly.
Duran Bernard
These. These ain't mine either. Why you. This isn't my leg. I'm not.
Dre Nicole
You never saw. Did you ever see? I'm gonna get you, sucker.
Lex
Yeah, I did.
Duran Bernard
That's why I was on.
Dre Nicole
Just making sure. Listen, because I know. Listen. I know the Gen Zers are like, I'm sorry. The alphas and all that.
Duran Bernard
Oh, they lost.
Lex
We were lenient, though. We with you. I seen and I told you my
Dre Nicole
parents was booming that. That part. And she was adopted. Amen.
Duran Bernard
We still got one. We still got another.
Lex
It adds character.
Dre Nicole
Oh, go ahead.
Duran Bernard
We got another.
Dre Nicole
You, you, you.
Duran Bernard
We finna do it now. This is gonna be your favorite one.
Dre Nicole
Oh.
Lex
Now it's time to get into the bop a the bop a the bop.
Duran Bernard
Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. So Bop of the Week is music that we've been listening to this week.
Dre Nicole
Okay. Bet.
Duran Bernard
Okay. Or like, whatever that we really love. So I'm so excited because I talk about this person so much. And I said, he's one of my personal favorite vocalists because he can sing. And I think people got misguided by the type of music he was making. He's kind of having his T. Pain moment right now. Remember when everybody was like, T Pain can't sing. He had to take that autotune off and show y' all that he can sing. So Fetty Wap dropped an album and he released his new song called Xavier. And it's like a old school. He's, like, scatting, doing jazz, and it's fucking fabulous. And everybody's like, oh, Lex P has been avenged. Yes. Cause I've been telling you, Betty, Wap can sing.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, he can sing. I know you're not believing me right now.
Dre Nicole
Oh, no, I haven't heard. Bishop Wap.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, Bishop Wap. But I think that the video is creative. I think it's good. Like I said, it gives a jazz type of vibe. And he's really singing in it. And I think that this is what he needed to show the people. So thank you, Fetty Wap, for proving me right. That's all right. Tear it up. Tear it up. That's all right, Dee, we having a ball.
Dre Nicole
That's all right.
Duran Bernard
You gotta have that, boy.
Dre Nicole
You gotta have that.
Duran Bernard
Mom gave up, but yeah. That's my Bop of the Week week. Fetty Wap Xavier singing his Ass off. As he should.
Dre Nicole
What's your bop of the week?
Lex
Okay, so in very rare situations do we have guests on the show and then their song is my vibe. But Mango Butter by Duran Bernard. That's my song. Because I'm a bad. And I'm that.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Lex
Hello.
Dre Nicole
That's your theme song, baby.
Duran Bernard
It really is.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex
That's my.
Duran Bernard
I love.
Lex
That's probably my favorite song by you, to be honest.
Dre Nicole
Thank you.
Lex
But, yeah, that's my.
Dre Nicole
Thank you for the Grammy.
Lex
Exactly.
Duran Bernard
What's your bop of the week?
Lex
But that's my. I was listening today on the way here.
Dre Nicole
My bop of the week. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. My bop of the week is. Oh, God. Yes. It is called. I saw it on somebody's close friends Whore.
Lex
The lady.
Dre Nicole
No. Someone. No. Who's.
Duran Bernard
Who posted the song?
Dre Nicole
Who posted the song? It was on their close friends and they were showing their tail. Yeah, it was somebody who has to go with. But you know, that's my friend. They with their new lover. You know, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, by the way. But I'm just saying, you know, he know that and his mama know that. Cause me and her still be about talking. It is 90s aquarium by bone Chic. That is my song of the week. It is an 11 minute song. It just. It's wavy. It's very. Y' all know that girl.
Duran Bernard
What genre is that?
Dre Nicole
It's like think of if you were here. If you were here tonight by Alexander o'. Neil. It's in that realm. But imagine that instrumental just for 11 minutes long. It's so. Y' all know that girl on social media that be dancing in the different environments to Alexander o' Neal and then she jumps off randomly. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.
Lex
Oh, I thought he was talking about that girl from the Apple store.
Dre Nicole
No, no. Yeah, yeah. Nah, she's another. But y'.
Duran Bernard
All.
Dre Nicole
But just 90s aquarium bone chic. B O N Chic. It's. It's just. Honestly, it sounds like holding music, but it's still.
Duran Bernard
It's. It's all right.
Dre Nicole
I know.
Duran Bernard
That's the Verizon song. Can you do a song to that?
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Duran Bernard
I love that beat.
Dre Nicole
When I'm old, will I.
Duran Bernard
When they put me on hold and they play that one right there. What y' all talking about?
Dre Nicole
You said, can you do it?
Lex
Can he?
Dre Nicole
I said, oh, yes.
Lex
Can I?
Duran Bernard
Will I?
Dre Nicole
Will I.
Lex
That's the difference is the question.
Wheezy
This is wheezy. WTF from decisions decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health. Health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.
Angela Yee
Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business because people always ask me like, how do I actually run everything? So Shopify is literally the platform where I turned this tiny idea into a business. Before this, I was really just like popping up at any in person event, any vending opportunity I could, which I still do. But I wasn't really as focused on online. I was like, you know, the websites are going to be too much to build out. I'm not like a super techy person, even though I can make things cute. And I didn't want to put up a website that would run my customers away. I wanted it to be efficient, to be easy. And Shopify helped me build brown girlgrinding.com out. Once I switched to Shopify, it finally clicked like, okay, I can actually do this. It's not about it being tough, it's about using the right platform to make it easy. Shopify takes all of the guesswork out. I build my own store, I manage my community, own my own customer relationships. Plus, this is my favorite thing. Shopify gets my products everywhere. I'm able to link stuff through Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop, the Shop app, even Chat, GPT and Instagram, which is very important for me. And Shopify's AI co founder Sidekick, game changer, let me tell y'. All, right? So it's helped me not only optimize my site, it helps me look at my sales trends, it updates my product skills, all the stuff I'm absolutely not an expert in, but it's like having a genius business partner that never sleeps. And right now the Bronco Grinding storefront and the Black Effect storefront is busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting. I love that for us. I am pumped, like so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a big way. And I will be there preaching this platform to all of the small black owned businesses that partner with us. So if you've been sitting on an idea or if you're ready to scale, which you've already started, this is your sign. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, you can do it too
Planned Parenthood Announcer
Planned Parenthood Health Centers Save Lives but the Trump administration and its backers in Congress are blocking patients from using Medicaid at Planned Parenthood Health Centers for one simple reason. They want to shut Planned Parenthood down. Yet across the country, Planned Parenthood health centers are still there, opening their doors to care for their communities. That's because Planned Parenthood believes controlling your own body is the most basic freedom and they'll never stop fighting for it. One in four people in the US have been to a Planned Parenthood Health center for high quality health care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing and treatment, abortion and more. Planned Parenthood is still the country's largest sex educator and a trusted source of unbiased sexual and reproductive health information for millions of people. Planned Parenthood will never stop working to get people the information they need, and they will never stop fighting so that every person is free to make their own decisions about their bodies and futures. At Planned Parenthood Care continues to learn more. Visit I'm4pp.org if you're feeling off fatigue,
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Lex
We having a grand time over here.
Duran Bernard
We just having a little key. Okay so y' all never said if
Lex
y' all like the print.
Duran Bernard
I don't like the print.
Dre Nicole
I don't mind. I don't mind a print. It's just penis is cool but I have my own so it's not that exciting. I think the only time, the only time that that penis will excite me is if it's uncut. Oh yeah, you like it raw. I'm a uncut advocate. Absolutely. Because see what happens is that right there being circumcised is unnecessary cosmetic surgery.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
That's why it is done when we are infants. Because if we were to get it later on in life, we wouldn't want
Lex
to get it cuz it hurt.
Dre Nicole
And on top of that, you're already removing more than 25% of our nerve endings. So guys that are uncircumcised feel more closely to how your clearances feel when it's stimulated than us that are circumcised. So I do have a little bit of penis envy for my uncut brothers. Yes.
Duran Bernard
Now I do. I do agree with you on that, cuz I feel like it is unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Like if a baby could choose. But if I was a baby, I would have got my bbl. Okay, okay. Excuse me.
Lex
Babies do be having booty doo, though. They do.
Dre Nicole
The booty do.
Lex
They do be having booty doo for a long time.
Duran Bernard
Okay. You know what I'm saying?
Lex
They do.
Duran Bernard
I made a bet. But you know, you right. All jokes aside, you right.
Dre Nicole
Order the car.
Duran Bernard
Okay, let's move on, y'. All. Okay, so we gonna do our last segment of the show. I'm sorry, y'. All.
Lex
Pour your butt.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, it's the.
Dre Nicole
Is this string number three or four?
Lex
This 16.
Duran Bernard
You 16 at war.
Dre Nicole
Stop. 16 not Karina Pace, y'.
Duran Bernard
All.
Lex
I'm 16 and I should never feel like this.
Duran Bernard
I'm sick. Oh my God. My wig.
Dre Nicole
Lord Jesus.
Duran Bernard
Get the wig, baby. Get the wig.
Lex
He's 16 at war feet.
Dre Nicole
I am. Okay, you are. This hat is trying to run. Run away. Lala.
Lex
Hey, Kiki.
Duran Bernard
Papa's like this.
Lex
She wanna run away and never come back.
Duran Bernard
That song Ludacris was rapping.
Dre Nicole
No, Ludacris don't never come. Ludacris does not get his just due specifically when it comes to visuals.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Because I put Ludacris in the same category as Missy and Busta Rhyme.
Duran Bernard
Oh yeah. Stand up. Absolutely would not move you just like that. Cause he fills her up balloons. She's selling pussy. Why another? I didn't even say that. Another drink.
Dre Nicole
Somebody tell me something.
Duran Bernard
Watch out. Time is all reckless.
Dre Nicole
Feels like she's good at it. She should charge.
Duran Bernard
That's what I'm about to say.
Lex
Why we asking why? We know why she said it.
Dre Nicole
You Know what? Shout out to the sex workers. Sex work is work, hard work.
Lex
It's necessary.
Dre Nicole
And you should be respected for your line of work. You should be compensated for your work. You know what I'm saying? So it's just. Cause if you good at it, why should you be doing it for free, period?
Duran Bernard
And shut up. To miss being here.
Dre Nicole
And that's why the girls be shading the sex workers. Because they getting compensated for the shit that they doing for free. And what you getting paid for? An empty gas tank, a used credit
Lex
card and an interest.
Duran Bernard
Also a stroke, a hemorrhoid. See, you done did it again. And shout out to Ms. B. Nasty. Cause she just got married. And that's my girl. I'm just saying she did. Ms. B. Nasty just got married.
Dre Nicole
I'm just saying.
Duran Bernard
No, you finna go, you know what? I'm gonna put you in the corner.
Lex
Somebody in the room looked up at me,
Duran Bernard
What happened every time. He said, and God, baby. Y' all remember that thing on bet? And God, that's you. The prayer prank. The prayer prank with you and God. E by okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Lex
No, for real. If y' all have any questions, send them to ask for mines. That's a S K P O U R M I N D S mail dot com.
Duran Bernard
See, I wasn't the most unhinged one today.
Lex
No, you was always the most unhinged one.
Duran Bernard
I love y' all Ty and the show. I know that.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Lex
I need a little advice.
Duran Bernard
I'm a 28 year old gay man and I've never been in a relationship or really experienced anything romantic. In the past, I would catch strong feelings for guys, but it was never mutual. And I had to learn the hard way not to wear my heart on my sleeve. I've spent a lot of time pouring into myself, building confidence and practicing self love. And I've gotten to a place where I'm okay being single if that's how life plays out. But at the same time, I still want to experience real love. My only thing is my heart has been hurt so many times that I don't know how I trust if it finally comes. Part of me wants to take a chance. Another part of me is ready to run. So my question is, how do you open yourself up to love again without letting fear hold you back? And how do you know when it's real love, y'? All?
Dre Nicole
Okay, so I'll go and I'll take us real quick. Does the fact that motherfuckers don't know how to drive Keep you from being on the road. Mm.
Duran Bernard
Come on.
Angela Yee
No, I.
Lex
Be still outside.
Dre Nicole
Still outside sweeping. We cannot allow other people's lack of direction keep us from going on our journey just because I. I.
Duran Bernard
Don't you dare touch them goddamn fingers together, ma'. Am. But, you know, hold up, T. First
Dre Nicole
and foremost, it's the middle finger.
Duran Bernard
Okay, we was arguing about that.
Dre Nicole
It's the middle, which means it is the middle.
Duran Bernard
You ate that.
Dre Nicole
You ate that. I approve. That's applause clock. That is not a hand signal.
Duran Bernard
So what's this?
Dre Nicole
This is playing with pre. Come.
Duran Bernard
I do that too, though.
Dre Nicole
That's what I'm saying. But don't do that in public.
Duran Bernard
Oh, okay. You right.
Lex
It is.
Dre Nicole
Do that in the privacy of your own home, baby. You right.
Duran Bernard
You right.
Dre Nicole
This is the sign language. This is the sign language signal for the number eight, which means you ate that. I approve. Oh, bitch. Yes, I approve. Oh, yes, ma'. Am. So when you say clock that. There is no signal. Hand signal for clock that. Clocking. That means that someone exposed your truth. So when we're talking about our trans sisters that are going out into the world, they're like, oh, bitch, you got out into the world without somebody clocking you, Meaning they clocked your reception. That's what that means. But there was no hand signal for that. This is what leiomy started on legendary saying, oh, bitch, you ate that. I approve. Middle finger. Middle finger.
Duran Bernard
Thank you.
Dre Nicole
We gotta stop it.
Duran Bernard
I didn't know.
Dre Nicole
Let your sisters know.
Duran Bernard
I let us know.
Dre Nicole
And also.
Lex
Cause you peeps. I've been doing beautiful.
Duran Bernard
Absolutely.
Dre Nicole
And while we're at it, I didn't know. And while we're at it, that word punk.
Duran Bernard
No, I said that. I made a video about it. And they were up in arms at me.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely not.
Duran Bernard
Stop.
Dre Nicole
Because I'm gonna tell you something, and y' all can't say this word. Punk, sassy, zesty. All those words are faggot with a silencer on it.
Duran Bernard
Uh oh.
Dre Nicole
Y' all not slack.
Duran Bernard
Say that word. I can't say.
Dre Nicole
Y' all are not slick.
Lex
We can't.
Dre Nicole
It's not all right. And I understand that there are some of people, specifically the older generation of gay men, who don't care about the word fag. And they allow other. Their women counterparts, their friends, to say that it's not all right. It's not okay.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Just like how no random person can come up to you and call you bitch or call you by a nickname that they did not earn. A lot of times folks want a Nickname that they didn't earn. I don't know you like that.
Lex
Don't call me no punk.
Dre Nicole
Don't call me no punk. I don't do that. Word.
Duran Bernard
I made a video about that on TikTok, like, two months ago. And they were up in arms. They were like, sales. And I was like, that's crazy that people are telling you not to call them that. And y' all like, when is this?
Dre Nicole
And I'm also. I'm also very interested in the people within our community. I'm not talking about y' all within my community, because we gotta have a talk. Why is it that y' all are so. It's so impossible for you to ex. To embrace certain terminologies, but yet you want people to respect you. Mm. You want people to have an understanding about you, but yet you can't. You can't respect someone's pronoun.
Lex
It's always or.
Dre Nicole
Or. You can't fathom a feminine man that is also heterosexual.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
You just can't fathom that.
Duran Bernard
That's the truth. The way they were talking about the word cis, like, it's not a scientific term. It's a science.
Lex
Like, oh, cis.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. Like, being a CIS woman, it means
Dre Nicole
you identify with the gender you were assigned to at birth.
Duran Bernard
It's just not that.
Lex
And stop calling me sis.
Duran Bernard
No.
Lex
And, you know, that's what I thought you was talking.
Duran Bernard
You didn't. Go to hell.
Dre Nicole
I saw that. And, you know, honestly, it's moments like that where it's. It's like, I really want somebody to just educate my sis.
Duran Bernard
Yeah. And that's all it is.
Dre Nicole
That's all. Cause she's an extension of us. That's us. So let us call each other in.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I don't like when other people outside of us be trying to check other folks within our community. No, no, no. This ain't got nothing to do with you, baby.
Duran Bernard
Agreed.
Dre Nicole
We can call each other in. We will have that conversation.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
This ain't got nothing to do with you.
Duran Bernard
Agreed.
Lex
So to answer your question, young lady,
Duran Bernard
it was a young man.
Lex
It was a young man, mister.
Dre Nicole
My. My thing is. My thing is, lady, you have to be. You have to be open.
Duran Bernard
I agree.
Dre Nicole
Because my thing is, if we. If. If we maneuvered our way of life by how people mistreat us, we would not get the things that we genuinely need.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Because we'll be going off of their understanding of us, which is a lack of understanding. So my thing is, if that's genuinely who you are at the Core. If it's. If love and partnership is what you genuinely desire, then put that out there and stop charging everything as, oh, a woe is me if things don't work out. Look at it as a game. It's like, okay, bet we're just not compatible. It's really simple as that. We're not aligned in the areas that genuinely matter. And I'm not going to force that.
Duran Bernard
And I wish people would understand that and stop looking at it like, I'm not good enough.
Dre Nicole
You are good enough.
Duran Bernard
Y' all just weren't compatible. Yeah, it's okay. And that was a good point that you made. Because when it comes to our, like, careers, for example, people will make fun of us, tell us no, but we keep going. But why is it y' all don't apply that same logic to love?
Lex
You know what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
Because it's the. It's. It's getting your. It's getting another avenue of your emotions involved.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
It's another level of expectation that you are pouring into that you're hoping that that meets that idea. So for me, it's allow people to show you who they are.
Duran Bernard
Agreed.
Dre Nicole
Number one. Allow people to show you who they are. Number one. And believe them where they are. Sometimes there are people that come into our lives that are aligned with a previous version of who we are. You ever met a dude that was like, baby, had you met me five years ago, you would have been shoe in.
Lex
Yeah, you.
Dre Nicole
I mean. I mean, hands down. And that part of you still exists. But it does not drive. It exists. It does not drive. So you understand. No. I have to make the decision that best suits me. Where I am now.
Lex
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
And who you are is not compatible with who I am today. So it's just about keeping your eyes peeled for what makes sense, what is aligned. Because one thing that I learned about Neil Degrasse Tyson, which is one of my unofficial uncles, him that's a scientist. He's an astrophysicist. Him, Sinbad and Michael, Eric Dyson, those are my uncles in my mind. And one thing that Neil said was. Shit.
Duran Bernard
Oh, God. We got go over here.
Dre Nicole
Where was I going? I was talking about shit. I was right there. I was right there. Cause see, that's what y' all get for having me. This number four.
Duran Bernard
This number six.
Dre Nicole
This number four. Look, what was I talking about?
Duran Bernard
Hey, you was talking.
Lex
I mean, growing.
Dre Nicole
Growing. Right.
Duran Bernard
Cause all the last time you said the Neil and I said, that's the scientist, man.
Dre Nicole
That's a scientist.
Duran Bernard
Scientifically, Speaking.
Dre Nicole
Right, Right. No, it's all right. It's all right.
Lex
He's a grower. Not a shower.
Dre Nicole
Not a shower. Shout out to the growers.
Lex
Amen.
Dre Nicole
Not the showers.
Duran Bernard
Well, let us know what you got coming up where we can. Cuz you everywhere.
Dre Nicole
I know we are in. We're doing. I'm doing Netflix as a joke. Netflix is a joke. They're doing a festival run, and I'm one of the performers that will be doing it. I don't like to call it standup, but story time.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
There are things that I've experienced that, you know, has some comedic flair into how I'm delivering what's going on. I'm also going to be going on tour in the fall, and I'm only. And I'm only doing a small number, so. So when I say a city near you, I mean a city near you because I didn't want to, I didn't want to tour this year.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
I was on four tours last year.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Lex
That's a lot.
Dre Nicole
Three of my own in Badu.
Duran Bernard
I'm getting tired of your baby.
Dre Nicole
Don't put me on the clock, please.
Duran Bernard
Okay. My bad. We going.
Dre Nicole
But yeah, no, I, I, I just, I wanted to do something that was. We're doing theaters this coming year. I'm excited about theaters. I've been waiting on ushers to hand you a program and escort you to your seat. That's what I've been waiting on. I've been wanting. Cause when you have such a wide variety of audience attendees that are from people that can barely just get in 18 or 21, to the grandmothers and the uncles, like, they are out there standing for me. And I used to feel really bad about that because I'm like, I need venues that can accommodate them to be able to sit. I got booked for North Sea Jazz Festival last year, and this was the same night that Leon Thomas and Diana Ross were playing. I went on first, and this was also the same room that I performed in where I watched Leann Lahavis perform a couple years prior with Leticey and Lisa Fisher.
Duran Bernard
Ooh.
Dre Nicole
And that room packed up immediately. I think I had maybe like 30 minutes between doors. And when I was time to go on and the room packed out immediately. And being on the same night as Diana Ross, like, it was her name, and then my name right after her is in the lineup of things.
Duran Bernard
Hey. Nothing else needs to be said.
Lex
Full circle moment.
Dre Nicole
Full circle moment. I have no idea where I was going with, with this story. It doesn't But I know.
Duran Bernard
Upside down.
Dre Nicole
Oh, boy.
Duran Bernard
You came where they can find you.
Lex
We were talking about your touring.
Dre Nicole
Yes. Touring. Yes.
Lex
Touring.
Duran Bernard
Yes,
Dre Nicole
yes.
Lex
He gonna get you back, right?
Dre Nicole
Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm so glad you said right. Not straight. Okay, Forward, forward. Never straight.
Duran Bernard
Right, right.
Dre Nicole
Give me direction. Not a construct, a. I'm an ally.
Lex
I'm actually part of the community.
Dre Nicole
Actually, we, you know, allies are cute, but we need accomplices.
Lex
I'm next.
Duran Bernard
Oh, shit. See?
Dre Nicole
Allies. I'mma tell you what allies do. Okay? Allies. I mean, no, like, allies post the little black square. They post the hashtag Black Lives Matter, and they go back to their regular schedule, programming. Allies. Accomplices. Accomplices are checking folks in real time.
Duran Bernard
Oh, yeah.
Dre Nicole
The accomplices are going home to family dinners saying, you know, what you said is actually racist. What you said is actually homophobic.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, okay.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, in real time. I don't want. I don't want an ally. Accomplices. I want somebody that would be like, you know what? No, no, no. You stay home. This ain't even your fight. I got this.
Lex
Oh. I ride for my niggas.
Dre Nicole
And I ride for you, black woman. I ride for you. I don't play. And I say black women because you're not strong black women. You're black women. You decide when you want to be strong or not. But I'm not gonna put that on you. You've been strong enough.
Lex
Thank you. We tired of being strong.
Dre Nicole
Exactly, which is why you need to take your rest.
Lex
Amen, brother.
Duran Bernard
But I still like to fight a little bit. I'm not in an argument about that. F word. I'm a fighter, by the way.
Dre Nicole
I understand.
Duran Bernard
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
And then there's the art of continuing to scroll. Everything does not squabble. Everything. Everything does not deserve a response nor reaction.
Duran Bernard
Well, I'm talking about in real life. It was a family argument. Cause somebody in my family.
Dre Nicole
Fuck them. Family members.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, Fuck the family. They fuck the family.
Dre Nicole
I can't believe I met Vanessa Williams and did not go into that monologue. I'm so upset. Like, it was right there.
Duran Bernard
Fuck the family.
Lex
Fuck the family.
Dre Nicole
We were Hanging out for 20 minutes. The hall. It was right there.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, you should have did it, Auntie.
Dre Nicole
I love you.
Lex
Y' all will meet again.
Dre Nicole
Oh, yeah.
Lex
It's gonna happen.
Dre Nicole
I got her phone up. It's all good.
Lex
Y' all text her right now.
Dre Nicole
Speaking of right now, do y' all know that around Valentine's Day this year.
Angela Yee
Go ahead.
Dre Nicole
I got a phone call at 10, 11am Pacific Standard Time by Ms. Toni Braxton.
Duran Bernard
That's our favorite.
Lex
We love Tony.
Dre Nicole
Hello. I know to say who I think it is Wait, wait, wait, wait. And I can't stop thinking about the way I used to be and I can't stop thinking in about.
Lex
Let me join.
Dre Nicole
Hello. Hello. It's practicing.
Wheezy
This is wheezy. Wtf? From Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health. Health is grown woman energy sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.
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I get a lot of questions about how I run my business and keep everything operating smoothly. And the answer is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that lets me take my idea and turn it into a real, fully functioning business. One of the biggest advantages is discoverability. Shopify puts my products in front of customers wherever they're already shopping. Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop, the Shop app, and even inside ChatGPT. And for my store, whether it's a mug, a shirt, or a hoodie, all the raindrops can get something special to call their own. And Shopify's AI Co Founder sidekick has become a core part of my workflow. It assists with tasks like website optimization, analyzing sale trends, updating product skus and generating reports. Right now the Black Effect storefront is busy and Shopify is handling the heavy lifting. I'm so pumped because Shopify is going to show up at our Black Effect Podcast festival this year in a big way for all of our small black owned businesses that partner with us. Build your store, own your audience, and create something that lasts. Start now@shopify.com b e n planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood Announcer
Health Centers save lives. But the Trump administration and its backers in Congress are blocking patients from using Medicaid at Planned Parenthood health centers for one simple they want to shut Planned Parenthood down. Yet across the country, Planned Parenthood health centers are still there, opening their doors to care for their communities. That's because Planned Parenthood believes controlling your own body is the most important basic freedom and they'll never stop fighting for it. One in four people in the US have been to a Planned Parenthood health center for high quality health care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing and treatment, abortion and more. Planned Parenthood is still the country's largest sex educator and a trusted source of unbiased sexual and reproductive health information for millions of people. Planned Parenthood will never stop working to get people the information they need and they will never stop fighting so that every person is is free to make their own decisions about their bodies and futures. At Planned Parenthood, Care continues to learn more. Visit am4pp.org if you're feeling off fatigue,
Inner Balance Announcer
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Duran Bernard
He wasn't bad enough for me either. What did she say?
Dre Nicole
Oh, how much she loved me and how we do brunch soon.
Duran Bernard
Oh, and we get a song and a tour.
Dre Nicole
I mean, listen, I'm also in my bag now and I want to put this out there. I am in my writing and producing bag. I would love to write and arrange and produce for other people. A lot of the songs that I've recorded, I'm not immediately married to them. Some of those stories.
Duran Bernard
Hush that door. Stop. Oh, exactly. Look at crack.
Lex
It's strict in his speed.
Dre Nicole
Thank you.
Duran Bernard
Gosh.
Lex
Exactly. Craig, fix that shit up.
Dre Nicole
I would like.
Duran Bernard
Yeah, yeah.
Lex
And you don't want him to put that leg up.
Duran Bernard
It's rubbish.
Dre Nicole
There are stories that I feel that could be told by someone else.
Duran Bernard
Okay.
Dre Nicole
There are a few stories that I would like to tell from a woman's perspective that I think would be pretty dope. So I'm just. I'm just open, but I'm letting everybody know, Hey, I wanna write. I wanna do backgrounds I wanna like, wherever I can be of assistance. I wanna be there.
Lex
Can you write us a song?
Duran Bernard
Yes.
Lex
We wanna get in the studio. We said we gonna drop a song. Cause we feel like we could be like a one hit.
Dre Nicole
Y' all need a theme song.
Lex
We just want one hit. Just one.
Duran Bernard
Just one. I feel like. I feel like we could really do like a good song.
Lex
She's not saying I'm a no, but
Duran Bernard
I think we can do two songs low key. We need one rap song and one ballad.
Lex
This is where you always.
Dre Nicole
So you the rapper, she the singer.
Lex
I can sing a little bit too.
Duran Bernard
See, that's what I'm saying. We need a ballad.
Lex
I need one. No, Lex always gotta take too far. One song.
Duran Bernard
Ky, we need a ballad and a rap song, right? Yeah. Duran can do our ballad. And then we gonna have Santana do the rap song.
Dre Nicole
Come on, Santana.
Duran Bernard
You know what I'm saying? We just need to Mysterio brow. I like Mysterio. I want to turn that eye boot.
Dre Nicole
What was that song?
Lex
Shake them titties. I'm looking for the hot in the city. You can't see our titties today but
Duran Bernard
they shake we and ladies, today, if
Dre Nicole
I ever had titties, that's all I would say.
Duran Bernard
We're gonna keep talking forever.
Lex
We will. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you.
Duran Bernard
This is, I'm not gonna lie, this one of my favorite. Y' all make sure y' all go follow him, listen to the tunes. We had a great time. Muse Beauty Collection.
Lex
Museudicollection.com make sure you get your lip glosses, matte liquid lipsticks, lip liners.
Dre Nicole
Y' all got lip balm, too?
Lex
We do.
Dre Nicole
Come on now.
Lex
On the way. I sent you an exclusive.
Duran Bernard
On the way. On the way. And y' all make sure y' all tune in to Love Lex P every Monday morning at. At 10am And y' all make sure y' all go get Yalls tickets and we'll see y' all on tour soon. Still tipping 20, 26. Tickets on sale now. And see y' all next week.
Lex
Bye.
Duran Bernard
Bye.
Dre Nicole
See ya.
Duran Bernard
Oh, my God. That was so funny. Just let go Let it flow Let it flow Let it flow Everything's gonna work out is a solo Let it
Dre Nicole
go now y' all part Let it
Duran Bernard
flow Let it flow Let it flow
Dre Nicole
this is my prayer Just let it go, baby don't nobody want no don't nobody want no Two time losers now, now.
Duran Bernard
But it can't remember respect without you There's a time when we must go our way. Yeah. Wine d wine d wine d wine. Hey.
Lex
I love that girl.
Duran Bernard
Dr. Wayne, Dr. Wayne,
Wheezy
This is Wheezy. WTF From Decisions, decisions, ladies. Let's talk about taking control of our sexual health. That's grown woman energy. You may think HIV affects someone else somewhere else, but the truth is it's impacting our community. And some of us are being hit harder than others. Black women make up just 13% of the women in the US yet account for nearly half of new HIV diagnoses amongst women. Taking care of ourselves is community care. Know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body. That's using your power. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences, this is Angela Yee from
Planned Parenthood Announcer
Angela Yee's Lip Service. One in four people in the US has been to a Planned Parenthood health center for life saving, life changing care. We're talking about birth control, annual exams, cancer screenings, STI testing and treatment, and more high quality expert judgment free care. And despite lawmakers efforts to shut them down, they're not going anywhere. Care continues at Planned Parenthood so that you can get the unbiased, high quality health care that you need. To learn more, visit I'm4pp.org Dryness is
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Inner Balance Announcer
If you're feeling off fatigue, mood changes, skin shifts. Yet your labs say everything's normal. You're not alone. Meet Oestra from Inner Balance. The first all in one prescription strength bioidentical hormone cream that's natural and effective and only takes one drop, 10 seconds a day. Oestra replaces five to six products women typically use to treat symptoms and is third party tested to ensure the highest quality. Visit innerbalance.com today to start feeling like yourself again. That's innerbalance. Com.
Angela Yee
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Published: April 17, 2026 Hosts: Lex & Dre Nicole | Guest: Durand Bernarr
In this lively, unfiltered episode, Atlanta-based hosts Lex and Dre Nicole, two single Houstonians, welcome Grammy-winning artist Durand Bernarr to the Pour Minds couch. The conversation is a spirited tour through creativity, Black family dynamics, self-expression, fame, music industry realities, pop culture, and hilarious personal anecdotes—all while sipping cocktails and riffing on the edges of art, therapy, and "drunk therapy." The trio dives into the nuanced intersections of confidence, upbringing, authenticity, generational differences, style (and lack thereof), personal boundaries, and the importance of community and self-care.
On being yourself against external pressures:
"To play me is to play yourself." — Dre Nicole ([14:09])
On Black parenting and respect:
"Just because you old don't mean you wise. Just cause you old don't mean you can’t get your ass beat." — Dre Nicole ([32:22])
On corporal punishment's origins:
"Beating a Black child is one of the whitest things you can do...It was something that was given to us." — Dre Nicole ([35:36])
On teamwork:
"You don’t have to do everything by yourself. There are people who can pick up that stack and see where we can’t see. It's about finding that synergy, that dream team." — Dre Nicole ([71:48])
On style:
"You could pay for school, but you can’t buy class" — Lex ([69:07])
On leading with authenticity:
"I give so much of myself through my art... I don’t mind an opinion and critique of that… I don't need a critique on who I love." — Durand Bernard ([80:56])
On why you should try love again:
“Does the fact that motherfuckers don’t know how to drive keep you from being on the road?” — Dre Nicole ([132:24])
On Black women and rest:
“There’s a nice collective of Black women taking your rest. We don’t need to be on the front lines. Get somebody else to do it." — Dre Nicole ([85:27])
This episode is a rollercoaster of laughter, realness, and affirmation. Pour Minds “Hootin and Hollerin” takes on the big stuff—identity, community, family, love—while never taking itself too seriously. With bold musical interludes, deep dives into Black familial and personal history, and sharp critique of everything from slurs to Saks Fifth Avenue, Drea, Lex, and Durand leave you with a powerful reminder to love yourself loudly, do what you do best, and not take no mess, no matter who’s watching.
Listen to the full episode for all the candid jokes, stories, and infectious energy.