POUR MINDS PODCAST

"The Way Love Goes" ft. Da Brat & BB Judy

Release Date: February 6, 2026
Hosts: Lex P & Drea Nicole
Guests: Da Brat (the legendary rapper) & BB Judy (entrepreneur, CEO of Kaleidoscope)

EPISODE OVERVIEW

This lively, heartfelt episode features the power couple Da Brat and BB Judy joining Lex P and Drea Nicole for an unfiltered discussion about love, entrepreneurship, parenthood, and the realities of queer representation in media. The main focus is the release of Da Brat and Judy's new book, their relationship journey, navigating motherhood, tackling business challenges, dispelling stereotypes, and the importance of authenticity in love and life.

KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. On Writing Their Book: Motivation and Process

• Reluctance and Opportunity:

  • Da Brat admits: "Like, we didn’t at first. I didn’t want to." (04:43)
  • Judy pushed for it, seeing an opportunity to deepen their narrative and reach a different audience: "I felt like there was money left on the table...not only that, but our community might be book readers." (05:03)

• Work Styles in a Relationship:

  • Judy’s “go, go, go” grind vs. Brat’s need for balance and downtime:
    • "She, like right now, our son is morning, noon, and night, everything...But it’s definitely not what we got...So I think we are absolutely different when it comes to that." (05:27)
    • Brat: "I like a little nap if it’s...Let’s take a nap." (06:15)

• Message for Readers:

  • "That we human." (41:12)
  • "Everybody does go through...we have parts in there called, like, Golden Rules...break it down to me in layman’s terms." (41:14)

2. Motherhood and Relationship Dynamics

• Motherhood’s Impact:

  • Brat shares motherhood made them closer: "Being a mother is my absolute favorite thing in the whole world. I wouldn’t trade it for nothing." (06:40)
  • Judy allows Brat to take the lead with their child, having already raised three kids herself.

• Entrepreneurship Meets Motherhood:

  • Judy speaks on working harder today because of shifting economic realities and changing consumer habits:
    • "Now I’m working harder really than I was...people’s motivation has changed because now the minimum wage is different..." (07:12)
  • On the pressures of online marketing, particularly TikTok Shop:
    • "Now you have to meet your consumer where they are..." (08:03)
    • "TikTok, I think we did one of our big lives. We did like 250 in like four hours." (09:23)

3. Their Relationship Story: Love, Ghosting & Getting Together

• How They Met:

  • BB Judy hired Brat for promo; they met at a Kaleidoscope tour event. Brat recalls surprise at Judy’s popularity.
  • First sparks: "She gets there, we talking...Then this motherfucker go, 'Well, I’m interested in you.'" (15:39)
  • Brat describes being completely thrown off by Judy’s honesty and directness: "It fucked me up so bad, y’all. I lost all my swag." (15:43)

• Ghosting & Reconnection:

  • Judy followed through with trips to Atlanta; Brat often didn’t answer, leading to miscommunication:

    • "A few times I was scared to meet up with you. I was nervous." (18:42)

  • Judy: "If you invited somebody to leave from their house...Check into your Airbnb to say, 'Hey, I’m here.' Where would you like to meet? No answer." (18:20)

  • Brat admits being scared and shy despite her public persona:

    • "I couldn’t even talk to you. I was so shy. I was hiding behind shit..." (18:57)

  • Judy moved on to date a boyfriend—Brat stalked her IG until he was gone, then reached back out:

    • "I stalked that page until that nigga was gone." (29:34)

4. IVF, Donor Choice & Public Scrutiny

• IVF & Donor Selection:

  • Their IVF journey led to difficult conversations around genetic compatibility.
  • "When they did my genetic testing, there were, like, seven different things that I carry genes for...our Black man choice went down to zero." (34:11–34:38)
  • They chose a Bulgarian donor based on compatibility and other life traits: "We just figured the best way and did the history search all that stuff..." (35:24)
  • Brat: "Whether people understand it or not, I don’t give a fuck. We have a beautiful..." (35:24)

• Public Backlash:

  • The couple faced backlash and even hate during pregnancy:
    • "The thing that bothered me the most was...people were wishing death on our child...Now, bitch, I don’t go in these comments and cuss at nobody...But y’all got me fucked up right now..." (36:12–36:49)

5. Working, Arguing & Compartmentalizing in Love

• Communication in Conflict:
  • Brat wants to resolve arguments quickly, Judy needs space:
    • "This bitch can hold a grudge. I tell you, boy..." (51:06)
    • Brat: "I can’t sleep at night if we mad at each other...I want some skin...I want to resolve this shit." (51:57)
    • Judy: "So I’ve learned how to compartmentalize all of it. Otherwise...You’ll lose your damn mind." (53:12)

6. Queer Representation, Labels & Coming Out

• Coming Out Publicly:

  • Brat discusses the risk factors and how love with Judy changed her perspective:
    • "I didn’t want people to know. And back in the day, it wasn’t cool. It wasn’t safe to let people know...But then when I met her, I was like, fuck that...She made me feel safe. And I wanted people to know I got a bad bitch." (57:02–58:21)

• Labels & Authenticity:

  • Brat: "I’ve never understood the labels...I’m just me...I don’t feel like I’m a stud. I feel like I’m a tomboy...I just don’t. I’ve never done labels." (60:13–61:01)

7. Sex, Body Count & Double Standards

• Body Count in Lesbian Relationships:

  • "Not us...I don’t give a fuck who you used to date, long as they don’t try to come back." (75:02–75:09)
  • Confused about why women often aren’t counted by men:
    • "I need to start dating women...How that don’t count, though? I don’t get how that don’t count." (78:34)

• Sexual Double Standards Called Out:

  • "If it’s 30 people, you didn’t hit all 30, but you don’t want me to have talked to one." (77:06)

8. Advice to Listeners & Young People

• On Young/College Relationships:

  • "Girl, he in college and he’s going Buck Wilder that motherfucker." (83:30)
  • "There’s so many things you need to be focused on outside a relationship." (84:46–84:51)

• On Healing and Responsibility in Relationships:

  • "Men are not hopeless romantics. Men are just simply hurt...and we need to have a real come to Jesus on these podcasts...both need grace...But I do think that hurt people hurt people: no, you go work on yourself before you out here terrorizing..." (85:53–86:15)

NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• On Why They Wrote the Book:
  • "I know you think you gave enough, but did you really?" (Judy, 05:03)
• On Motherhood & Joy:
  • "Being a mother is my absolute favorite thing in the whole world. I wouldn’t trade it for nothing." (Brat, 06:40)
• Judy’s Approach to Conflict:
  • "I’ve learned how to compartmentalize all of it...Otherwise, carrying it all, you lose your damn mind." (53:12)
• On Coming Out for Judy:
  • "For the first time in my life, I wanted to scream it from the mountaintop." (Brat, 55:36)
• On Creating Space for Different Types of Women:
  • "Some girls that are studs don’t [like makeup/nails]...They gon’ be them and I’ma be me." (Brat, 60:36)
• On Haters’ Comments:
  • "But we here now...married, happy, we got this book, we got a baby." (Brat, 30:32)
• Brat on Female Rap Unity:
  • "I love the fact women are doing their thing. It’s about damn time...no matter how the fuck you rap, how you look, I support all the women doing their thing 100%." (71:31)
• On Arguing:
  • "This bitch can hold a grudge...She will just get up and walk the fuck out. I can’t stand that." (Brat, 51:06)
• On IVF and Genetic Testing:
  • "Our Black man choice went down to zero." (Judy, 34:37)

TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS

• Book Journey & Why (Start writing): 04:39 – 06:32
• Motherhood’s Impact: 06:32 – 07:21
• TikTok Shop & Entrepreneur Advice: 07:55 – 10:38
• How They Met: 12:03 – 16:52
• Courting Failures & Ghosting: 17:02 – 22:38
• Reconnection Story – The IG Stalking: 29:34 – 30:39
• IVF, Donor Choice, and Racial Issues: 33:48 – 36:49
• How They Handle Arguments: 51:00 – 53:59
• Coming Out, Label Resistance & Public Scrutiny: 54:16 – 61:45
• Sex, Body Count, Double Standards: 73:12 – 78:55
• Advice Segment (Pour Your Heart Out): 82:23 – 86:47

OVERALL TONE

The episode is candid, funny, sometimes raucous, always supportive, and deeply grounded in love and mutual respect. Brat and Judy are quick to joke and to check one another, openly sharing both struggles and joys. They challenge stereotypes about queer relationships, Black parenthood, gender expectations, and business, while keeping it real about the pressures and rewards of visibility and vulnerability.

FINAL TAKEAWAYS

• DA BRAT: "I wouldn’t change nothing that I ever did in my life. Cause it’s gotten me to where I am now." (70:24)
• BB JUDY: "It’s the main reason we did [the book], is to say, yes, nice, pretty and shiny. But we also go through our struggles." (50:31)
• THEIR RELATIONSHIP: A testament to the power of honesty, growth, healing, and loving out loud, no matter who’s watching.

Where to Find the Book, Products, and More:

• Instagram: @sosobrat, @therealbbjudy
• Book links in bios, HarperCollins, Amistad, all platforms
• Kaleidoscope hair products: Walmart, beauty supply stores (see episode for new product lines)

A must-listen episode for anyone curious about love’s many forms, entrepreneurship, queer joy, and honest Black storytelling.