Pour Minds Podcast – "Too Thick to Handle"

Hosts: Draya Nicole & Lex P
Date: September 19, 2025
Podcast Description: Two single Houstonians in Atlanta, Draya and Lex, navigate life, friendships, and dating, serving up hot topics and advice with wine in hand.

Episode Overview

This episode takes on a signature Pour Minds blend of humor, real talk, and candid storytelling. Draya and Lex, without a guest this week, dive into personal experiences and pop culture, covering topics from body image and Black culture to shaving preferences, generational changes in dating, and self-confidence. Throughout, they keep it relatable and unfiltered, making space for honest (and often hilarious) confessions while encouraging listeners to love themselves and mind their business.

Key Topics & Discussions

1. Body Confidence & Being "Thick" (Main Theme)

• Is Being Thick "All That"?
  Kicking off the episode's main theme, Draya asks if being curvy comes with too many problems, especially from the perspective of a "thick" woman. This sparks a real conversation about self-worth, body image, and public commentary.

  • Draya’s Take:
    “If anything, I just feel like, how do I know you like me for me? Or is it just because I’m fine? Like, I'm too thick?” (36:01)

  • Lex’s Perspective:
    “It's not about being too thick or I wish I was skinnier... What comes with a lot is just having confidence about yourself.” (36:36)
    “It doesn't matter if you got a 52 inch ass or a 2 inch ass, it doesn't matter. The thing that intimidates people is your confidence.” (37:26)

  • Handling Criticism:
    Both hosts discuss public scrutiny and unsolicited comments, from weight loss and "BBL" surgery speculation to assumptions about cosmetic procedures.

    • Memorable:
      “Let people do them…if you happy with that body and you think it look good…then do you.” – Draya (43:56) “Every decision I have ever made with my body… I do things for me to make me happy. So yes, it is all that for me. It don’t need to be all that for you.” – Lex (41:25)

2. Body Modification & Black Women as the Blueprint

• Cosmetic Enhancements: Judgment, Confessions, and Genetics:
  The conversation naturally shifts to criticism Black women face over their appearances, especially accusations about plastic surgery.
  • “Black women are the aesthetic. We are the originals. People want to look like us!” – Draya (49:16)
  • “Surgery can’t outwork good genetics.” – Draya (50:03) They emphasize that cosmetic procedures are common and discuss their own experiences candidly, reinforcing support for each other’s choices and calling for more acceptance.

3. Food, Southern Culture & Black History

[02:37–15:20]

• The episode starts out lighthearted, with memories of Houston, Lufkin, and Louisiana growing up, childhood foods (Cheddar’s croissants, chicken fried steak), and Black Southern cuisine.
• On "slave food":
  Draya asks about the legacy of "slave food"—dishes that come from the times when Black people were given scraps and made do. Lex references "High on the Hog" on Netflix for the historical background.
  • “That’s why it’s like Black people can cook so well. Y’all was trying to give us the scraps…and we still were making amazing meals and feeding our families off that.” – Lex (13:00)
• Lighthearted Food Moments:
  Jokes about the misunderstanding of "dirty rice" and the meaning of "giblet" (10:07), leading into deeper reflections on culture and resilience through food.

4. Race, Ethnicity & Global Black Identity

[17:08–34:52]

• The hosts dissect an internet debate about Kamala Harris’s racial identity, using it to unpack misunderstandings between race and ethnicity.
• Education through Travel:
  Lex credits travel (and her friend Killa) for opening her world: “When you travel the world, you realize how similar we are versus different… Geography is important in school.” (20:31)
• African & Caribbean Diaspora:
  Draya shares her exploration into her own identity (Creole, Dominican, Afro-Latina) and describes learning about multicultural communities in Jamaica and the UK, noting that Black Americans often feel disconnected from ancestral roots compared to Black people elsewhere.
  • “Here in America…we’re not really as tapped in with our culture.” – Draya (32:04)
  • “American culture is a thing, especially Black American culture. It’s very real.” – Lex (33:16)

5. Generational Dating, Social Media & "Hurt Community"

[54:07–57:35]

• They reflect on how dating and public perceptions have changed with technology. Social media amplifies scrutiny, groupthink, and "barbershop talk" on a massive scale.
  • “All the Internet is, is the barbershop spread worldwide.” – Lex (54:34)
• New Apps:
  • Draya brings up gendered review apps for dating, questioning if society is too focused on finding dirt on people rather than getting to know them organically.
    • “Are we really that hurt and that up where…you want to get on an app to find out about the person before you actually really get to know them?” (56:22)

6. Motherhood, Career Women & Breaking Generational Cycles

[58:00–63:56]

• Real talk about why more career-driven women today are waiting (or opting out) of having children, with both hosts sharing self-awareness about what’s required to raise kids in the lifestyle they want.
  • “I kind of get why career driven women just wait a little bit…There is no way I could have had a baby on my hip yesterday.” – Lex (59:30)
  • “I want my children to be born into a life of [security]…I never want them to know struggle at all.” – Draya (60:49)

7. Shaving, Grooming & Double Standards

[64:09–76:41]

• Hilarious, unfiltered debate on pubic grooming preferences—for both men and women.
  • “My coochie is hairy as fuck right now. I told y’all, I’ve been going through it… I just ain’t had time to go get a wax.” – Lex (67:28)
  • “Cover em up a little bit. Put a little coat on that motherfucker.” – Lex, about male body hair (66:08)
  • “If you shave it, that ain’t a shaving problem, you still gonna be musty because musty come from folds.” – Draya (66:27)
• Girl talk sets the tone for honesty and acceptance, but also personal preferences—some want it bald, some prefer hair, and everyone acknowledges the chaos that can come with a “chicken fried” leg or ass.
• They lighten it further with playful quips:
  • “That fooder. That fatty upper dick.” – Draya (74:01)

8. Music, Mood & Bops of the Week

[78:30–84:11]

• Lex’s Bop: Shine – "Bad Boys" (classic jam)
• Draya’s Bop: Burna Boy – "Love" (new feel-good Afrobeats track)
• Sharing personal updates about relationships:
  • “My DMs have been flooded…But I’m really enjoying my peace right now.” – Lex (81:21)
  • “I feel like my husband is on the way…I’ve been passing all of these tests with flying colors.” – Draya (82:46)

9. Pour Your Heart Out – Listener Advice Segment

[89:30–97:23]

• Listener Dilemma #1: Bride worried about her friend’s weight & wedding photos.
  • “Just be honest about your feelings… Sometimes it doesn’t matter how you say it. If somebody’s hearing something that they don’t want to hear, it’s going to hurt their feelings.” – Draya (94:00)
  • “It sounds like you kind of have a problem with her weight, too.” – Lex (95:32)
• Listener Dilemma #2: Fun-sized girl with bad knees asks for tips on riding a man in bed.
  • “You have to learn how to ride dick and more so use your knees than your feet…” – Draya (98:47)

Notable & Memorable Quotes

• “Surgery can’t outwork good genetics.” – Draya (50:03)
• “It’s confidence that makes [a] big ass woman.” – Lex (37:26)
• “Let people do them.” – Draya (43:56)
• “Black women are the aesthetic. We are the originals.” – Draya (49:16)
• “My coochie is hairy as fuck right now… It’s so bad down there, y’all, I said good googly moogly, bitch.” – Lex (67:28)
• “It’s not about what you say, it’s how you say it.” – Lex (94:00)
• “Sometimes…the things that you're gonna say, it doesn't matter how you say it. If somebody is hearing something that they don't want to hear, it's going to hurt their feelings.” – Draya (94:02)
• “You got to really be ready for the next step, and you really got to let things go.” – Lex (84:11)

Top Timestamps for Reference

| Topic | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|-------------| | Southern food & Black culture | 02:37–15:20 | | Body image, confidence, “being thick”| 35:52–43:56 | | Cosmetic enhancement, plastic surgery| 43:56–51:57 | | Race, ethnicity, identity | 17:08–34:52 | | Generational dating, social media | 54:07–57:35 | | Motherhood & being career-driven | 58:00–63:56 | | Shaving/grooming debate | 64:09–76:41 | | Listener advice/Pour Your Heart Out | 89:30–97:23 |

Summary & Takeaways

• Self-love is the core message: Whether you’re “too thick to handle," skinnier, curvier, natural, or enhanced—own your beauty and do what makes you happy.
• Stay culturally curious: The episode encourages listeners to keep learning about their own history and others’, with special attention to the nuances of the Black diaspora.
• Let people live: There’s strong advocacy for ending body shaming, letting folks modify themselves how they like, and respecting personal genres of beauty, grooming, and self-expression.
• Gen Z/Millennial energy: Draya and Lex embody the new woman: candid, career-driven, unfiltered, and unwilling to settle for less—in love or life.
• Community & laughter: All delivered in Pour Minds' signature “drunk therapy session” style, full of laughter, sidebars, and quotable gems.

If you’re looking for an episode full of real talk, belly laughs, and affirmation while you sip your wine—this is it.