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Deval Ellis
I think it's important for men and women to understand that men don't only think about themselves when it comes to sex. Yeah, I get her right to where she edges. Then I beat that thing up. And then when I'm beating that thing up, getting what I want and I know that I'm about to, that's when I stop.
Dre Nicole
That's why y'all got them kids.
Deval Ellis
Then I put her back on her back and I say, baby, hold this one more time. And then I just.
Lex P
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's.
Dre Nicole
Your girl, Dre Nicole.
Lex P
And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds, where a drunk.
Dre Nicole
Mind speaks sober thoughts.
Lex P
We got a guest today.
Dre Nicole
We got a guest today, so.
Lex P
Well, first of all, y'all have been asking us to have this person on been blowing up our messages. So we have the one and only author, actor, producer, award winning podcast host, husband, father, athlete.
Deval Ellis
Come on. Come on, Lex. Come on. Stop playing.
Lex P
Lex, stop playing with me.
Deval Ellis
Lex, stop playing with me.
Dre Nicole
He be doing a hell of an intro.
Deval Ellis
Yeah, right?
Lex P
Come on, let's play with one and the only Zev Ellis in the building.
Deval Ellis
Thank you. Thank you so much, Lex. Lex Draya. Thank you for having me. Yay.
Dre Nicole
We're so happy to have you on.
Lex P
The show that I'm not gonna lie to you. I have had some heavy hitters on this couch, right?
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Lex P
That was probably the longest intro I've had to do.
Deval Ellis
I've done a lot.
Lex P
You have done a lot.
Deval Ellis
I've done a lot.
Lex P
I wanna start from the beginning. So, you know, the girls we love, we love a good athlete now. So we're gonna start back in the NFL then.
Deval Ellis
Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's do that. Let's do that.
Lex P
So talk about, like, your. Your football career and, like, how that got started and all that good stuff.
Deval Ellis
So the funny thing is, first and foremost, I love y'all.
Lex P
Thank you.
Deval Ellis
Like, I'm excited, if you can't tell. I've been smiling since I walked in here. I was introduced to y'all last year when y'all introduced Love Crystal. So ever since then, I just been seeing what you got.
Dre Nicole
Yes. We love you.
Deval Ellis
Congrats. Congrats to y'all, though.
Lex P
Thank you.
Deval Ellis
You came. Rest.
Lex P
You got that shit on.
Deval Ellis
Come on, man. I knew. Cause I knew y'all be on the fashion, you know what I'm saying? So, like, let me make sure I, you know, show out a little bit.
Dre Nicole
We try to do a little one, two. Not too Crazy, period.
Deval Ellis
But, nah, Football to me was a means to an end. People don't understand this. As a young black man growing up in Brooklyn, I always wanted to be in the arts. The first movie I ever saw in my life was Boyz N Da Hood, okay? It was 1989. My father bootlegged it. My bad scoop. I'm telling your business. He bootlegged it. But then he showed it in the living room. He had a group, a men's group called the Junior Layman. And there was a bunch of young black men watching Boys in the hood. I was five. I walked in there, my pop's like, you wanna watch? He sat me right here, and I watched all of these young men be captivated by what they saw on tv. And I said, I wanna do that. But this is Brooklyn in the 90s. How many young black men, you know, walk around saying they an artist? Homophobia was rampant in Brooklyn in the 90s. So it was like, yo, what am I gonna do to show people I'm tough? You know what I'm saying? So I played sports, okay? I played sports. I danced. I did the bruck up. I don't know if y'all know about.
Lex P
I know that's right.
Dre Nicole
What's the bruck up?
Deval Ellis
The bruck up is the Caribbean dance.
Lex P
Cause what that shoulder was.
Deval Ellis
You seen. You seen the shoulder moon and seen the show. So the broke up is a dance. All right. Yeah. See you see you laughing. Cause you ain't know what the brook up was.
Lex P
Cause that shows the poor as hell to.
Deval Ellis
I'm not. I've been doing this since I was a kid.
Dre Nicole
I just.
Lex P
You know what I'm saying?
Deval Ellis
I used to dance. I used to be out in the streets trying to entertain people, okay? But I knew I had to make money. So I was like, how am I make money? And I was like, sports.
Dre Nicole
So wait, I know your wife is Caribbean. Are you Caribbean, too?
Deval Ellis
No, I'm Caribbean by relation, okay? No, that's not by birth. Come on. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? So you know what it is? My wife's Jamaican and Jamaican and Vincentian. So I adopted that culture. But I've always been big in Caribbean culture. Coming from Brooklyn?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
I just knew that I had to find my way out of New York. I never wanted to spend my whole life in Brooklyn. Sports came easy to me. Cause I was fast, I was athletic. So I said, I'm gonna play sports. I was gonna play basketball. I was like, I'm gonna be about six, five. That's what. And then when you go to the doctor, right, you know, the doctor tell you, oh, I'm looking at your palm, your growth blades, you. About six five, I stopped growing, and I said, you know what? I think football is it.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
I'm not tall enough to play basketball. Went and got my degree and said, I'm gonna focus on TV afterwards.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
It was that simple. Football was a means to an end. I enjoyed it. The NFL was great to me. I made a lot of money that I wouldn't have been able to make.
Lex P
Right.
Deval Ellis
But it was just a plan to get me to tv, film, because a.
Lex P
Lot of people don't have that. And I hate to see the story of, like, athletes when they leave the NFL and they just don't know what to do. They all. I mean, they try to make the transition as you've. A lot of them try to go to, like, the tv, doing sports casting. But as you know, it's hard to talk on camera.
Deval Ellis
It's not easy. And the funny thing is, I thought I was gonna go into broadcasting first, too. I got my degree in broadcast journalism.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
You see, but that's why I knew.
Lex P
That y'all was good, because we got degrees in this.
Dre Nicole
We went to school for this. We seasoned. Come on, now.
Deval Ellis
But that's why y'all good at what y'all.
Lex P
We had Barbara Walters shaking for a long time. Okay?
Deval Ellis
The funny thing is, no one hates.
Dre Nicole
To see us coming.
Deval Ellis
No one wanted to see y'all coming like this. Just the way y'all dress, looking the way y'all look, Y'all not supposed to be able to do what y'all do.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, I agree.
Deval Ellis
So the fact that y'all are doing this, please give yourselves a round of applause.
Lex P
Thank you.
Deval Ellis
And shout out that y'all had degrees, because people think that having degrees is pointless.
Dre Nicole
They do.
Deval Ellis
I don't.
Lex P
I don't. I think it depends on what you want to do.
Dre Nicole
Well, yeah, I think it depends on what you want to do. But the thing that I love about people who have degrees, I think it just says that, like, you finish what.
Lex P
You started, you start.
Deval Ellis
You saw something through completion.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And as a businessman, that's important. All the people I go into business with, I go into business with people who I've seen do things through completion.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Deval Ellis
Cause that means you had to do something you didn't want to do in order to see it all the way through. And that's life. So, you know, I started out broadcasting. I worked for Msg varsity.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
Doing games.
Lex P
I know that.
Deval Ellis
And I hated it. You did? Yes.
Lex P
Why did you hate it?
Deval Ellis
Because they wanted me to say what they wanted me to say.
Lex P
Ooh.
Dre Nicole
And that's what I was gonna say. Cause you know, we did radio for a little bit.
Deval Ellis
I know you did.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
You hated it.
Dre Nicole
We hated it.
Deval Ellis
Cause they said you can't say that.
Dre Nicole
It was certain we just couldn't be our authentic selves the way that we can on this couch. And I mean, it's cool. You know what I mean? Shout out to the people that do radio. Kudos to them. I just don't think it was. It was for us.
Lex P
Yeah. I actually started off doing hard news. I used to have an internship at my college at TSU. So I would wake up at 5:00 in the morning, go to the radio station, I'm report on all this stuff, like kids getting kidnapped, houses on fire. I'm like, this is depressing.
Deval Ellis
Ain't it though?
Lex P
Oh my God, it was so hard. And I was like, I don't wanna do this. And then I kinda got into like doing like entertainment news and I'm like, you know what? I just wanna talk shit.
Dre Nicole
And you have. What else I don't like. I don't like the breaks. Yeah, like how you have to do, you know how you have to do so many pauses and breaks when you do radio?
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, I hate that. Like on this show, you know, we just talk freely. It's no breaks, it's not edited, it's not altered. I think that you have to do that. Well, we know you have to do that. When it comes to like radio and.
Deval Ellis
Broadcasting, Podcasting is the evolution of medium.
Lex P
It really is.
Deval Ellis
You know, and it's, it's going to become like, I think going to become the mainstay of where people consume all of their information.
Dre Nicole
I'm not going to lie to you.
Lex P
I think, I think it is now though.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
I think a lot of times when you are hearing people have authentic conversations and you're not hearing somebody like, oh, I have to ask this question. Like we have talking points, but we gonna get off topic and you go like, oh, this is how this person feels about xyz.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
Oh, I really like them. Oh, you know what? I didn't really like their, that they were doing, but now that I know them, I want to support everything that they do.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely.
Lex P
So it could be good for you or bad. So that's what I want to talk about too. You getting into podcasting?
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Yes. How did that come about.
Deval Ellis
So my beautiful wife Kadeem, very similar to you guys. She went to school for broadcast journalism. She wanted to do hard news. She did Hofstra News and Views. She worked at the radio station, and she hated it.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So when I retired from the NFL, at this point, she was having our first child.
Lex P
Okay.
Deval Ellis
I felt bad as a man that I was just like, man, like, she has her own dreams. She always has to stop doing her dreams if we continue to have children. So I was like, well, I can't even take credit for this. Our manager at the time, Dannora. Dannora Pena. Shout out to Dannora, because her vision for what she saw for us was huge, and we wouldn't be who we were if it wasn't for Dannora.
Lex P
Okay. Shout out to you, girl.
Deval Ellis
Yeah. She got an opportunity from Stitcher, and Stitcher was like, hey, violin. Kadeem, do all of these videos about battle of the sexes.
Lex P
And it's funny.
Deval Ellis
Have they ever thought about a podcast? And Dannora came to us and explained what a podcast was. I had never heard of a podcast. And I was like, wait a minute. So, babe, we could do the podcast from home. We could do the podcast from anywhere. But you'll get an opportunity to continue to work and do what you do in your field without having to pause every time you get pregnant. But I was like, let's focus on the podcast and build that out so that we can ultimately get to your goal of being a daytime TV show host. And she was like, bet. Let's do it. And we started it. And now we're 15 seasons later.
Dre Nicole
And that's amazing. That is.
Lex P
Because being in this field, too, you know how many times we've seen people start it? Because they just be like, oh, I can do this if they do it. And then they start it. And then they quit, of course, because.
Dre Nicole
It'S not as easy as it looks.
Deval Ellis
Well, nothing is easy that's worth having.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And the problem with most people, especially in this generation, is they want instant gratification. I was doing videos for years before any one of my videos got traction to go viral. And then once it went viral, that's when people were like, oh, my gosh, the value doing this. And I said, well, where were y'all years ago when I had 26 people viewing my videos and I was still making videos. I'm editing videos and putting pictures up, and you see three likes.
Dre Nicole
That was us.
Lex P
That was us. Oh, my God. You know, we screaming 10 listeners, girl, what are you screaming for right? Ain't nobody watching these comments.
Dre Nicole
Nobody was watching. But we kept going, though.
Deval Ellis
You know who gave me the biggest tip? Pause. About just creating content. I gotta pause that. You can't say somebody gave me a big tip and then I don't pause that pause.
Dre Nicole
But I felt that pause.
Lex P
Somebody gave me a big tip, too, girl.
Deval Ellis
You felt that move. Did you pause?
Dre Nicole
No pause.
Lex P
No pause on mine, period. Look, my bad, my bad. Okay, what was the big tip?
Deval Ellis
I can't even tell this story now.
Lex P
Pause, pause.
Deval Ellis
Especially in this climate. But I worked as Amari Hardwick's stunt double, okay? Ghost. I see it for three years. You see it, right? I was out. I had the suit on and everything. Walking through truth. You know what I'm saying? Okay. My first speaking role in primetime television was when I played Ghost and I had to curse Tommy out. Y'all might remember this. The fuck you looking at? Ooh, you seen that? I said that to Tommy in jail, but it wasn't Ghost. It was me.
Dre Nicole
It was you. It was me.
Lex P
But why did he need a double for that? Just out of curiosity, that's what I.
Dre Nicole
Was going to ask. And why did he need a double? Walking through truth.
Deval Ellis
Well, so this is what. So this is what happened, all right? Y'all not gonna shame me for my role. I'm playing with y'all.
Lex P
We ain't trying to ask.
Dre Nicole
We just trying to figure it out.
Deval Ellis
The role didn't start out as a double, okay? The role started with season two, I believe, episode nine. Tommy had went to jail. And he's in jail, and he sees a guy who looks like Ghost, okay? And then he goes to him and he's like a ghost. A ghost. And then I turn around and I say, the fuck you looking at?
Dre Nicole
Oh, no.
Lex P
That's right.
Deval Ellis
And then he realized, wait a minute. That's not Ghost.
Lex P
I gotta go watch that episode now.
Dre Nicole
Me, too.
Deval Ellis
After that episode is when the producers was like, yo, you look. And your body type is a lot like Amari, right? And he was like, how are you interested in being his stunt double? So my thing was just like you. I said, be walking around in suits. What the fuck does he need a stunt double for? But I'll do it, okay? Because I wanted to learn. I wanted to see what it's like to be a leading man in a drama, the number one drama on all the television. So I'm doing that. And years before that, I had did 50 cents funeral video, Okay? I played Remo.
Lex P
Okay?
Deval Ellis
So One thing about 50 Cent, y'all gotta notice. 50 Cent remembers everyone who. Who's been around him. Really, he does, because, I mean, he's from Queens, I'm from Brooklyn. I understand this type of environment. He from Queens. He's had beef his whole life. When people are around you, you make sure you can recognize who's around you. So I was around him all day shooting this video. Two years later, I go to do Power, and he looks at me like, yo. I said, remo, that's crazy. And he's just like, yo, what's good, my G? Like, people think 50 Cent is like this hard guy who always. He is, but he's also a businessman and astute businessman. So me being a Brooklyn guy, I am. It's the end of the night. It's like 1:30. Of course, I'm just a stunt double. Stunt doubles don't really do shit, you know? So 50 cents. Walking through the lobby, I see him. He's with a little pa. And I'm like, this is my chance. I'm gonna go holla at 50. So I jump up. Everybody's quiet. It's 50 Cent. I'm like, what? The 50 Cent come through. I get up. He getting on the elevator. I go to get on the elevator, the PA puts his hand in my chest. I'm like, oh, no, you not.
Dre Nicole
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Deval Ellis
Let me do this.
Dre Nicole
My partner, he know me.
Deval Ellis
Walked right through that, right? And then 50 was smirking, and I was like, yo, fifth, what up? So then when he started talking to me, the PE was like, okay, I guess this is cool. So I said, your fifth, man.
Lex P
My fifth. You was in there real good.
Deval Ellis
I was real comfortable.
Dre Nicole
Hey, Cardi.
Deval Ellis
I was real comfortable. Because I'm like, this is my moment. This is my moment. You know what I'm saying?
Lex P
Right?
Deval Ellis
Walked in that bitch. I was like, fifth, what up? He was like, what's up, my G? And I was just like, yo, I like you, yo, you a bully like me. I'm a bully, too. See how I got on the elevator? So he started laughing, and I was like, yo, this before BMF was out. I said, y'all want to be on bmf? He was just like, yo, we gonna work. We gonna work. Never got a chance to be on bmf. You know how that go. Yeah, but what he did do, he's like, yo, what else you got going on? He's like, yo, come with me. I went with him to his dressing room. He looked at my social media. Cause I told him the stuff I was Working on. He saw my videos of my family before they ever went viral.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
And $0.50 said, yo, this shit is hilarious. He said, yo, you gotta keep doing this. He was like, let me tell you something. He was like, don't worry about the views. What you have here is a catalog of content, which means all you need is one video to go viral. And when people see that video, they're gonna go back and see what other videos. And when they see that you do this, they'll follow you and they'll share because it's not a one hit wonder. I was like, oh, he right. So that was June. That was June, I believe. 2016.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
September 2016. Kyra was born. I do a video goes viral. I had about a thousand videos. All of those videos now getting hundreds.
Dre Nicole
Of thousands of views from that one video.
Deval Ellis
The first thing I thought was 50 was right.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, he was right.
Deval Ellis
And the thing is, I've never. I'm not on bmf. But the information he gave me was more valuable than a role.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Because he taught me how to build my own thing. So from this day. From this day, for always say I always get fifth is.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Shout out to 50 Cent. I feel like that resonates with us, too, though, because it was kind of like the same thing when we went on 85 south for the first time.
Lex P
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Like, that video got millions of views.
Lex P
It hit a million in a week.
Dre Nicole
It hit a million in a week. And it just. It trickled down and it made people come back to all of our old videos and watch all of our old videos. And I remember on social media, we both gained like 80,000 followers on our personal pages and the Poor Minds page, like, overnight. It was crazy.
Deval Ellis
That shows you the value of consistency.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Which most people don't have. They want instant gratification. If they don't get it, they quit. But consistency means you do stuff when nobody's watching. And then when people pay attention, you got a catalog. That happened to y'all. That happened to me. And now look at y'all.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
See what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
And look at you.
Deval Ellis
I'm grinding, baby. Still grinding.
Lex P
What's up, y'all?
Dre Nicole
It's your girl xp, and it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Lex P
And y'all know every week we talk about getting your credit up. You can't do nothing in this world without having good credit.
Dre Nicole
Yes, absolutely. And we kick off. All you have to do is make on time payments and they report it to the credit bureaus, and boom, you got higher Credit.
Lex P
They have showed people to increase their score by up to 28 points in their first month. I don't know about you, but I needs that.
Dre Nicole
Me too.
Lex P
So what you're going to do is go to getkickoff.com poor minds and sign up today. Over 100,000 people have reviewed it and 98% of those reviews are five stars. So go to getkickoff.com Poor Minds today build your credit fast With Kickoff, the best credit building plan to jumpstart your credit, get your first month for a dollar that's 80% off the normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com poor minds today that's Kickoff without the C. Get K I k o f f.com Poor minds must sign up via getkickoff.com Activate offer. Offer applies to new Kickoff customers first month only, subject to approval. Average impact of 28 point increase in first month based on Equifax Advantage Score 3.0 changes for Kickoff customers with starting credit below 600 who made their first on time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside Kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply. Offer subject to change. Individual results may vary. So I want to talk about. Since we talk about podcasting, because we were speaking a little bit earlier and you were about to touch on. Because we talk about the freedom that we have with podcasting, also comes with a little negativity. Cause you can give your opinion, but a lot of times people not gonna agree with it and they gonna be dragging your ass. One thing me and Dre are not strangers to is getting dragged. It's getting dragged like we are always getting drugged about something.
Deval Ellis
Understandable.
Lex P
So not understandable. You were supposed to say, damn, not my girls. No.
Deval Ellis
Well, I've been dragged. I've been dragged a couple of times.
Lex P
Okay, but talk about the time that you got dragged and you were just like, oh my God, why did I say this? Or you regrette.
Deval Ellis
Well, the first thing is I never regretted saying what I was saying. I got dragged because people have a difference of opinion.
Lex P
Okay, yeah.
Deval Ellis
First thing I will say that I've learned as an athlete is that people are not like, you are not entitled to having everyone's admiration or agreement. You say something, people have the right to disagree with you. If they do, you can't take that as hate. You can't take that as negativity. It just is what it is. Because I think about there's a lot of people that I don't agree with. So I'm like, you know what? When I put something out, I put it out there as art. And I say, regardless of what people say, this is my truth. The problem with most people is they don't speak their truth. What they do is they say something thinking that everyone's going to agree, even if it ain't their truth.
Lex P
They're trying to be liked.
Deval Ellis
And then when people don't agree, they get mad.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
When you speak your truth, you can't get mad if people don't agree.
Lex P
Right.
Deval Ellis
That's my truth. Whether you agree with it or not is still my truth.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And I'm unapologetic about that.
Lex P
So you be standing on business when you say stuff and they don't like it.
Deval Ellis
Yes. I stood on listen the podcast. I got dragged for the most. They tried to cancel your boy. We were talking about monogamy, okay. And I was speaking about how I felt as a man that it is unfair for a woman to say, hey, I want you to be monogamous with me, but only monogamous with me when I want you to be monogamous with me. If you want to have sex and I'm not ready then. And I was like, that's kind of unfair. If this supposed to be a partnership, when I want to have sex or when you want to have sex, let's at least have a discussion about it. It can't always be when you want it.
Lex P
Right.
Deval Ellis
And some women dragged me and was just like, it's my body. You can't tell me when. And I said, you know what? If that's how you feel, if what I said made you feel that way, then that's how it made you feel. I'm not going to argue you down. Your perspective dictates the fact that that made you triggered in a way.
Lex P
Right. I think a lot of times people get so wrapped up in people's opinions because they created this version of you in their head. So if they watch Sisters or they watch the team and they like, oh, my God, this man. And they see you with your wife, so they like, oh, I want a man like that. He's a good father. He's a. So they create this image of you in their head, but they don't know you at the end of the day. So when you say something that doesn't fit their narrative that they created in.
Deval Ellis
Their head of you. Yes.
Lex P
They be ready to be up in arms about it, because that happens a lot. I feel like a lot of times people tend to feel like, oh, Lex, So funny. She's so sweet. She's so nice. But I'm really like an introvert. I really don't like people as much. I really just kind of, you know, be doing my own thing. So sometimes when I say things that people don't like, they be ready to bring out the pitch for it. But I'm like, why are you so upset at. I think the biggest thing that shows people's ignorance is when you can't understand that not everybody thinks the same.
Dre Nicole
I mean, an opinion is an opinion. Like, just because I say something and that's how I feel, it doesn't necessarily mean it's factual. If you don't agree with me, it's okay for you not to agree with me, but it shouldn't have you up in arms. Because it's my opinion you should be able to take a difference of opinion and go about your day.
Deval Ellis
I agree with you. I agree with you 1000%. But what we all have to understand as humans is that social media is in a place where everyone has a prerequisite of being healed before they participate.
Dre Nicole
True.
Deval Ellis
So when you hear people's responses to your opinions, typically it's because they're going through something where your opinion triggers something that they're going through. And if it made them feel away and they want to spit fire at you, they have the right to do so.
Lex P
Sometimes it just be triggering that they. A hater.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. Sometimes people just.
Deval Ellis
Sometimes. Sometimes people be mean.
Dre Nicole
Sometimes people be haters, and they're taking it out on you.
Deval Ellis
But let me ask you a question that says more about them than you, Right?
Dre Nicole
True.
Deval Ellis
So why do you let that affect you? You shouldn't.
Lex P
Because I'm. I'm sensitive, though. Everything gets to me. I'll be like, dre, they said my hair was napping, My nail was broken.
Dre Nicole
Lex is a little more sensitive than I am sometimes. I'm not gonna lie. For the most part, I let a lot of shit roll off my back. But sometimes people do say something every once in a while where I'm just like, ooh, I gotta respond. But I wanna get to that point where I don't say anything.
Lex P
Beyonce. We wanna be Beyonce.
Dre Nicole
I wanna be Beyonce. To the bullshit.
Deval Ellis
Okay.
Dre Nicole
I feel like I'm Rihanna.
Deval Ellis
But the thing is, there's nothing wrong with being Rihanna or Beyonce.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
It's just whatever allows you to have peace in your day. You know what I'm saying? If peace means today, I'm about to clap back on this motherfucker.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Then today is a Clap back day.
Lex P
Right.
Dre Nicole
You know what I'm saying?
Deval Ellis
If peace for me means that I'm gonna ignore it and I want to be Beyonce for the day, then that's gonna be my peace for the day. And the truth of the matter is, can't nobody tell you how you supposed to respond to what people make you feel. That is rude. That's one thing I've learned about social media or people in general. If I said something that made someone respond in a certain way, whether it was hate or whether it was this, I'm like that person going through it. Oh, well. If I felt like clapping back on somebody that day, I was going through it. Oh, well.
Dre Nicole
So you be clapping back sometimes.
Deval Ellis
I don't.
Dre Nicole
Okay. Did you use that?
Deval Ellis
I don't. I used to.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
But I never clapped back in a way where I wanted to make someone feel small.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
I always tried to clap back in a way where I can educate someone on a different perspective. But even on that, I learned that some people don't want a different perspective. They want to exist in their own perspective. So I've learned to let people live. If you understand. If you understand history and you understand the economy and the way the world works, you start to have empathy for people, right?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
99%. Lex, just listen to me.
Lex P
Cause I'm not there yet. I be like, you big back, broke back, smart ass bitch, big belly mother.
Dre Nicole
I be no Deval. It's so funny.
Lex P
I don't.
Dre Nicole
It's so funny because we share. Obviously we share the logins for like, all of our pages.
Deval Ellis
I know. So I know you.
Dre Nicole
I always be seeing the notifications when she go off on people. And I be like, bro.
Lex P
And I be.
Dre Nicole
Every day, every time.
Lex P
Did that wig tell you to say that? Who? Talking? Can't tell, bitch.
Deval Ellis
Which one? Big back, bro. The thing is, I get it though, because I feel. Sometimes I do feel like, how dare you judge me and say things to me and not look at your life first. But I want you to consider this. Consider this. 99% of the world's wealth is controlled by 1% of the population.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Which means 95% of the population is not comfortable with where they are in their place in life, which means they're working at a job they don't like. They have a husband or a wife they don't like. They got a. There's something going on every single day, and the only thing they have control over is that social media.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
I can put a comment on here. And I can fuck with Lex. Today. And you know what I'm gonna do today? I'm gonna talk to Lex today. Cause if she responds to me, that's the only control I have. And when you give people that control, now they winning.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And now you've lost it. Because now all people gonna talk about is how you responded to the person that nobody knows. They know Lex, though. You know what I'm saying?
Lex P
That is true.
Deval Ellis
They know Lex. They know Dre.
Lex P
He ain't lying. Cause I be ready to crash out. I love to get on live and crash out.
Dre Nicole
But you know what's crazy? The few times that I have crashed out, people have responded. Like I. I had posted a screenshot on Twitter like two weeks ago, because this guy, I had tweeted something and this guy had like a crazy ass rebuttal to me. I can't even remember what he said. But then after I said something to him, he posted, I reposted it, and I, like, kind of went off on him. And then he was like, oh, thank you for responding. I love you.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
And I was like, what? This is what I be talking about when I say people are fucking weird. He did all, all of that for him to say I love you when I responded.
Deval Ellis
It's so crazy. He wanted your attention.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And you gotta understand, too, that a lot of people know, like, they know that I can't get this person's attention unless I say something to trigger them. And then the minute they get your attention, then all the love comes out. That's why I don't respond with people with vitriol all the time. Because a lot of these people really don't have the tools to articulate eloquently.
Lex P
How they feel vocabulary.
Deval Ellis
Oh, thank you. I told you, I went to school. I graduated. You know what I'm saying? Went to school.
Lex P
I didn't know shit. What the shit you talking about?
Dre Nicole
She said vitriol.
Lex P
Who the hell is that?
Deval Ellis
I done popped the park.
Lex P
I ain't never popped a vitriol. Girl, shut the fuck you know the hell is that? I needs that. Give me two.
Deval Ellis
Get you some vitriol, baby. Vitriol, change your life. Vitriol, change your life now.
Dre Nicole
Oh, my goodness.
Deval Ellis
It changed your life.
Dre Nicole
So I definitely. Before we get. We ain't even got into the first topic yet, but before we get into the first topic, I definitely want to talk about your beautiful wife and your family. My baby.
Deval Ellis
My baby.
Dre Nicole
So how did y'all meet? I. I think I did read somewhere or maybe I Seen it on your social media. Y'all met in college, right? Nope. Nope.
Deval Ellis
We went to the same elementary school.
Lex P
Oh, really?
Deval Ellis
Same elementary school.
Dre Nicole
Oh, wow.
Deval Ellis
She tells the story that she recognized me when I was in first grade. She was in second grade. I didn't. You know, girls, not you on the older ones. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes Zach gotta do that. You know what I'm saying? Even when Zach's sick.
Dre Nicole
You know what I'm saying?
Deval Ellis
But a girl still had during that time, so I wasn't paying attention.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
But long story short. Cause this is a long story. We have a brother the same age, and we have a sister the same age. So we both are a family of three, okay? We have brothers who are the same age, sister, same age. And I used to go back when we were in middle school to pick up my brother and sister, and she used to see me. We ended up going to rival high schools. She was a cheerleader. I was a football player. And then my senior year, I was being awarded by the elementary school that we both went to.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
And that was the time that she could finally see me and say, hey, Deval, I'm interested now.
Lex P
She was choosing. I know that.
Deval Ellis
Let me tell you. Let me tell. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something about my wife, okay? And I'll say this. All of the stuff that they say you're not supposed to do on social media to get a man, she did every single one of them, really. She walked up to me.
Dre Nicole
But it worked out in her fashion.
Deval Ellis
And that's what I'm saying. She did every single. She walked up to me. It was me and my brother. She said, brian and Deval Ellis. And I was just like. I was looking at her and I was like, damn, she fucking fine, but I gotta be cool. I was like, what's up?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
The whole night, we were sitting there chopping it up, and then at the end of the night, I was trying to do it. My pops telling me to do my uncle. They like, yo, you don't be too thirsty. You know what I'm saying? Let her walk away a little bit. Then, like, they told me as she about to walk away, that's when you grab her arm and you just be like, excuse me.
Lex P
Oh, no.
Dre Nicole
Okay, I'm. Excuse me.
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying? That was. You know, I was like. I was gonna.
Dre Nicole
You was meant for TV because you was already living your real life. Like, you being recording.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying? I had all this in My mind, I'm so weak. But when that's me, though I live my life.
Dre Nicole
Every day I think I'm in a movie.
Deval Ellis
My whole life's a rom com. You can't tell me I'm not in a rom com right now. It's called Ditch, not hitch.
Dre Nicole
Ditch.
Deval Ellis
Cause I be ditching these hoes. And I found my wife. That's why. But before I could, you know, grab her arm, she grabbed my thing and said, yo, since you ain't gonna ask me for my number, I'mma just give it to you.
Lex P
I like her.
Deval Ellis
Which they say online women are not supposed to do that. You supposed to be demure. You're supposed to be mindful. My wife was not about that. She was like, take my number down. I took the number down. I called her the whole summer. She did not answer. She's a pageant. She's a pageant girl. She was on the road. I'm thinking, she trying to play me.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So I'm like, man, this. I'm chasing after you, man. I'm. I got an 89 maximum. I got black rims on that joint with two subwoofers. I'm. I'm vibing right now. I'm him. You know what I'm saying? I had two 12. I had two twelves. But thank you, Drea. You gonna miss your blessing.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And I was like, awful. And then she called me, and I was like, what the fuck? She said, hello. Hello, hello. And then she was just like, hey, handsome. And I immediately went back to the way my dad told me to be. I was just like, what's up? Stop laughing. You see you laughing? This is the problem. You not trying to listen.
Lex P
I'm sorry.
Dre Nicole
I'm sorry.
Deval Ellis
So I was like, what's up? And then when I said, what's up? We started vibing. She came and visited me the next day, and it was all history. The thing that impressed me, though, she asked me. Our first date, we in my dorm room, I was ready to smash. Like, I'm 18. I ain't gonna lie. I'm 18. You see, my wife, you know what I'm saying? Long hair, slim. She got a little fatty on her. I was like, okay, give me some of that. You know what I'm saying? I'm a D1 athlete. I'm not thinking about no wives or nothing.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So she's eating a hero. And I'm like. She's like, so she's eating here. She's like, so, what's your plans in life? I was like, okay, well, I want to be an actor. I want to do that. She was like, what? And Martin was on tv. I was like, I want to have my own sitcom. She didn't miss a beat. She said, okay, so how we gonna do that, man? When I tell you, Dre, her brother. I was like, oh, she want to know my drinks.
Dre Nicole
Because at night. Because she. So if you were 18. She was like, 19.
Deval Ellis
She was about to turn 19. December.
Dre Nicole
A 19 year old woman asking something like that on the first day.
Deval Ellis
Come on.
Lex P
Because I would have been like, to be or not to be. What we finna do tonight.
Deval Ellis
See? You see what I'm saying? That's what I was.
Lex P
That's a good one.
Deval Ellis
Come on.
Lex P
You right, you right.
Deval Ellis
And the Internet be telling you, don't be. Don't be going out there and trying to be wifey off the first date because of. She was wifey off.
Dre Nicole
You gotta be intentional the very first date.
Lex P
Also, it was to the right man, though.
Deval Ellis
So I agree.
Lex P
A lot of times, though, I'll agree. And it's a lot of good women that meet up and they're doing the right things, but it's with the wrong men. So I think that is why a lot of times you hear women giving the advice of don't do this, don't do that, because they did that and saw no results.
Deval Ellis
I agree. So I will say this. I will say this, though. Lex, I have a question.
Dre Nicole
Now.
Deval Ellis
I'm not gonna have a question. So many women talk about these bad men. Why do women choose bad men?
Lex P
You want me to give you the.
Deval Ellis
I really do want them red.
Dre Nicole
I mean, red flags be red flagging.
Deval Ellis
And they be smacking y'all in the forehead. Like, blackout, red flag. And y'all be like, I don't think.
Dre Nicole
And they be like, it's okay.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I hear you. I'm not really like that, though. No, no. I be leaving. When it comes to red flags, I don't really play that shit like I'm a no nonsense policy. But sometimes, if we really wanna get into it, I feel like that's why I'm still, like, not married and stuff. Because I'm gonna tell you the truth.
Deval Ellis
I understand what you're saying. Yeah, my boys, I got boys who are single and they always talking about bitches ain't this. And I be like, nigga, you be choosing the wrong woman every time. Like, we'll see the woman that he brings. And I could tell in two minutes not Gonna work.
Dre Nicole
He's not the one.
Deval Ellis
But here we are two months saying that you be. But D. I'm like, bro, you keep choosing the same woman over and over and over again. Then to that is all these bitches. No, you keep choosing the same. The wrong one, the same one. So that's why I'm asking you. Because I want to know a woman's perspective.
Lex P
So I'll say this. In my 20s, I was having a ball. I wasn't looking for nothing serious. I was having a good time. So I'll say as in my 30s, in my mid-30s, I'm intentionally dating. You know, I'm in a relationship. I've been in a relationship for a year. So I can talk about the things that I was dealing with beforehand. And I'll just use the last guy I dated before him, for example. I'm not gonna yai. A lot of times I knew the type of men I was dating, and I knew what I was in the situation for, whether it was to have fun, he was spending money. Xyz. But once I started dating intentionally, and I'm, like, showing, like, who I really and what I really wanted to do and my goals, the last time I will say, a lot of men, they put up a good front, okay? They're auditioning. It's like they look at it like a job application. So if I'm applying for a job, when I show up, they'd be like, what is the worst thing about you when it comes to work? Oh, I'm just always on time. I hate the fact, but I'm so punctual. And sometimes I work whenever I'm supposed to be clocked out. That's how men are. So you'll ask a man. You're asking all the right questions, you're doing the right things. And they're like, oh, my gosh, this woman is amazing. I'm not really looking for nothing serious, though. But I don't want her to leave me alone. Cause I'm not ready to be the man for her. But I don't want her to leave me alone because she's doing all these wifey things.
Deval Ellis
I feel you.
Lex P
So a lot of women have experienced that. Now. One thing about me, I don't date. I'm not a bitter dater. So just. Cause this man does this to me, okay? We broke up. I'm gonna still move on, and I'm gonna still be happy and try. I'm not gonna be tainted about love. So I feel like now I'm in a relationship where I am with somebody who appreciates the things that I do, and it's like, congrats.
Deval Ellis
I'm happy for you.
Lex P
But I will say I was in a situation where I felt bamboozled.
Deval Ellis
So can I just give you guys some insights?
Dre Nicole
Sure.
Deval Ellis
Based on what you said, you said in your 20s you was having fun.
Lex P
Mm.
Deval Ellis
Would you say that you bamboozled a bunch of men?
Lex P
Hell, yeah.
Deval Ellis
Okay, fair. So we're in agreement, right? You know why men in their twenties can't bamboozle women? Cause we don't got no fucking money, period. So you know what happens? We spend all of our 20s getting bamboozled.
Lex P
Okay?
Deval Ellis
And I'm not pointing you out, Lex, but a beautiful woman like you, who we may have thought like, that could be my wife. And you bamboozled us in our twenties. Now a n a got money now.
Lex P
Time to do the bamboozling.
Deval Ellis
It's time to do the bamboozling. And what happens is, is when a woman is now in her position, late 20s, early 30s, she's like, I'm ready to be someone's wife. Well, now you been. You finna get bamboozled.
Lex P
But, you know, and I'm just being.
Deval Ellis
Honest, and I'm not saying it's okay.
Lex P
Right.
Deval Ellis
But what I'm saying is that you had your time to bamboozle. A man can't bamboozle until he got the resources to do some bamboozling. Show me a black man in their early twenties who don't come from a prominent family who got resources to bamboozle.
Lex P
That's true.
Deval Ellis
So, you know, so then finally, when they make some money, I'm finally a VP of my job. I'm 30. Wait a minute. I can do all the things that I watched that woman do with that other guy that I liked. So now I'm gonna do that to these women. And I feel like women get upset when a man does it, but then they'll openly say, like you just said in your 20s, I was bamboozling these.
Lex P
I wasn't.
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying?
Lex P
It was also a guy that had been trying to holla at me for.
Dre Nicole
Three years, and I feel like you should never get him a chance. So it was like his wait time out.
Lex P
He couldn't.
Deval Ellis
Why you can't give that guy for three years.
Dre Nicole
I get that too.
Lex P
They got his guy back.
Dre Nicole
He was hounding me a year and a half, trying to holler at me when I say he was going above and beyond trying to get me to talk to him. And then I finally gave In. I was like, okay, let's see what's up. He played the out of me. He played the out of me. And it took me years to get over the hurt it took me, I'm telling you. And that's why I feel like if you initially not interested in a man and you curved him, he going to remember that. Girl, you better leave that alone.
Deval Ellis
I ain't going to lie. I'm not. I'm not, man.
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Deval Ellis
I feel like I didn't did that. I didn't did that. I'm sorry, but I'm not. But three years. I was chasing that for three years, and you made me feel like I wasn't deserving of it. So you know what them men do?
Dre Nicole
Like, they be having a vendetta, bro.
Deval Ellis
Them men be up at night, they be in their bed like this, not even sleeping.
Dre Nicole
They be like, I'mma get that whole get Dre.
Lex P
One day.
Deval Ellis
I'm going get Dre. I swear to God, I'm a good Dre. Then the minute you say, hey, they like, wait a minute. This is my time. But. But.
Dre Nicole
But the truth is, you don't give him no chance. If you've been trying to holla, if.
Deval Ellis
He hasn't healed, then don't.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Cause the truth is, man, like, you not wrong for wanting to party in your 20s.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Like, let's. And here's the truth. Can we at least be honest for once with people? If a woman wants to party in her twenties, let her party.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
If a man wants to party in his 30s, when he first got his money, let him party. Let's stop shaming people who have worked their life for what they want, who are enjoying their life.
Lex P
Right?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And then when that person is ready to settle down, they're gonna meet the right person for the. I think the problem is most people want to put a wide net around our entire species. All men act like this. Because the men that I dated act like that. No, that's just the men you choose. All bitches ain't shit. No, that's just the women you choose. My g. If we start to realize that, you know what I'm saying, we'll be like, we'll give each other a little bit more grace.
Dre Nicole
And you know what? Circling back to your original question, I think that women. I can only speak now that I'm in my 30s. I have a lot of friends and people around me who. I feel like once you get to 30, it starts to become like, we talked about this with another guest. I think desperation the desperation of being 30.
Deval Ellis
I get it.
Dre Nicole
I think when women hit 30, now, it's like this time clock.
Deval Ellis
It is.
Dre Nicole
I gotta get married. I gotta have kids. So I think when the red flags be red flagging, they'd be like, oh, it's fine, because I want to be married. I want. Even if it's not to the right man. Society has made me feel like I gotta be married and I gotta have kids. And then what? I'm 32. I don't have kids yet. That biological clock ticking, you know? And I really think that that is more so. What it is, I. I can say for women in their 30s, because I think when you. In your 20s, some women do want to get married in their 20s, but a lot of women that I know, they wouldn't even think about that. And then it's like when you turn 30, all of a sudden the pressure is on.
Deval Ellis
I mean, I. I don't. I don't think is. I don't blame women for not wanting to be married in their 20. Like, we live in a capitalist society where misogyny rules.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, Right.
Deval Ellis
If you are a beautiful woman and you're getting attention from a bunch of dudes, enjoy yourself.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Like, enjoy yourself. Now, of course, everyone is going to say, well, you need to settle down and not be promiscuous and stuff. But let's be honest. Monogamy, much like veganism or Christianity, is a choice. Someone has to choose to want to be that. And someone has to want to be that in order to enjoy that aspect of life. I think it's a disservice to people when we try to cast a wide net over everybody. Like, everybody gotta be monogamous. Everybody gotta be Christian. Everybody. You know, like that. We gotta stop doing that. Cause we're all different people.
Lex P
Right? And I think that having that mindset. Cause I do have that mindset. I don't take things out on. Because everybody is different. Everybody's experience is different.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely.
Lex P
So I think I agree with Dre. The desperation of women in their 30s. Like I said, we just talked about this. But for me, I will say this. I'm just such a. Like, okay, let it be.
Deval Ellis
Yeah.
Lex P
So now I'm like, if it's in my path to be with a man and get married, that's exactly what's gonna happen.
Deval Ellis
Facts.
Lex P
Because I know myself, and I know I'm a good person. I know I'm a damn good woman. So I don't have no pressure on it, you know?
Deval Ellis
But what you just said makes all the sense in the world, though, think about it. I know who I am, right? I'm not going to define my existence on this planet based on what all the other women in the world are doing.
Dre Nicole
Right?
Deval Ellis
That's not even your plight to carry. You know what I'm saying? For me, it's like, whoa, okay, Lex wants to get married. Now. I'm in my 30s. I'm going to be deliberate about finding the right person. Now, listening to the statistics and all of that shit don't really even matter, right? Because none of that will ever fit to every man or woman in the world. I say that because monogamy works for me. But then when men ask me, yo, dude, man, how you do this, how you do that? The first thing I asked them, do you want to be monogamous or do you think that being monogamous is the only way that you can be considered high functioning? And they're just like, well, I'm listening to these podcasts and they say monogamous men are high functioning. And I said, bro, stop just listening to people and ask yourself what you really want out of life. You know what I'm saying? Like, we got to stop shaming people for not following the lifestyle we follow. Yeah, monogamy works for me because Deval knows that. You know what? I love women, like, a lot. I do, truly love women.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
First thing I do, I look at you, I'm like, she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. But I also know that if I'm not disciplined enough to control my urges and I'm attacking it, running after every woman, I don't have the ability to focus on the things that's gonna help me provide for myself and my family.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So monogamy works for me. There are some men who can balance both and can chase skirts and chase money and make it. I would never tell that brother, you gotta be monogamy or you not high functioning. Man, get the fuck outta here. For example, like a 50 cent or Floyd Mayweather, both them brothers is doing way better than I am. How I look telling them, oh, you better be monogamous or you ain't gonna make it in life. It's the same thing for women. We should never tell women, you better get married or you ain't gonna make it in life. Oprah ain't never been married. She one of the richest people in America.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
You see what I'm saying? Bring that up, because that goes into.
Dre Nicole
That actually is our first stop. But we need to add, next time, will we drinking I knew this episode.
Lex P
Was gonna be like this.
Dre Nicole
I did too.
Lex P
I knew it. How are we drinking?
Dre Nicole
So, Ty, what are we drinking today? These drinks are so good. I'm actually about to need another one. Same. So, you know, our guest, he is literally, he does it all. He is like you said, actor, producer, athlete. He is the jack of all trades. And that's what this drink is called, Jack of all trades. It's a classic old fashioned style cocktail. We have some bourbon in there. We have some demerara, which is like a brown sugar syrup. We have angostura bitters and a little bit of orange bitters in there as the garnish. We have some cherries. We have a lemon peel and an orange peel that I kind of just expressed into the cocktail just to give that flavor and that bounce off. And this, like him, is the jack of all trades.
Deval Ellis
Talk about it, Ty. Talk about it, Ty. I like that, Ty. I love it.
Lex P
Thank you.
Dre Nicole
This is.
Deval Ellis
Thank you so much.
Dre Nicole
Thank you, Ty. Got another round coming up.
Lex P
Thank you. What's up, y'all?
Dre Nicole
It's your girl xp and it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Lex P
And we are here to tell y'all about the genius that is masterclass.com. if you're a creative, you want to get into modeling, cooking, anything you are trying to learn, this is the place to learn from the pros.
Dre Nicole
Yes, they have over 200 plus pros on masterclass. And imagine learning modeling fundamentals from Naomi Campbell.
Lex P
Imagine.
Dre Nicole
Or acting from Samuel L. Jackson or.
Lex P
A little humor from Kevin Hart. I personally took Issa Rae's master class and it definitely helped me. She was teaching about how to think outside of your creativity or if you have an idea in your head, how to get it in action and turning your ideas into actual TV shows or actual content. I'm telling y'all, if you wanted to learn directly from the people who are making moves in the industry you want to succeed in, Masterclass is the site for you.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely. And I also love that for all new memberships, they have a 30 day money back guaranteed.
Lex P
Oh, I like that.
Dre Nicole
So if it don't work for you, get your money back.
Lex P
Yes. So if you want to get a discount, you can sign up@masterclass.com Poor Minds. That's masterclass.com Poor Minds. And you sign up for the annual membership and you'll get 15 off. I'm telling y'all, you cannot get started until you invest in yourself. Masterclass.com backslash poor minds, period. Right now, our listeners get 15 off any annual membership at Masterclass. That's 15 off@masterclass.com. poor minds.
Dre Nicole
So to your back to your point, though, you made a really, really good point when you said, like, basically, you. You can't convince a man that doesn't want to get married to get married. And I think that that's where a lot of women mess up, too, because they're dating men who. It's obvious that's not the goal.
Deval Ellis
Right?
Dre Nicole
That's not his goal. So why are you even pursuing that? Why are you even staying in that situation? In order for a relationship to be successful, you have to date somebody where y'all want the same thing and y'all goals align.
Deval Ellis
Yes. It's that simple. That's why I think that the whole 5050 argument is annoying. The whole who's gonna be submissive to who is annoying and pointless. Because I know what I'm looking for in life. Every woman in the world is not looking for the same thing I'm looking for.
Dre Nicole
Right?
Deval Ellis
So what I do is those women who are not looking for what I'm looking for, I applaud them for looking for whatever they're looking for. I don't shame them. For example, they like, I need a submissive wife who gonna follow me, okay? So that's what you looking for.
Dre Nicole
That's the type of wife you need.
Deval Ellis
What if you have a woman here who is a seven, eight, nine figure earner? You telling me I'm supposed to tell that woman she's supposed to submit to me and she can make more? No, that woman's journey is different in life. Let her find someone. But it's also the same thing for a man, right? Women don't say all the time, I want somebody six, two abs, make a lot of money, can fuck all night. What if that nigga just want to be a homebody and take care of his kids? There's a woman for him. Yeah, it may not be for you, but why shame him or why try to mold him? You see what I'm saying? Why try to mold him?
Lex P
I can shame him a little bit. I ain't gonna mold him.
Deval Ellis
You can't shame that man.
Lex P
I'm gonna throw a little shame in just a little bit. Get your ass up and go to work.
Deval Ellis
So here's the thing. I. And I've been called misogynistic because of this.
Dre Nicole
Really?
Deval Ellis
I believe it is the man's job to work. The reason why. Well, I was called misogynistic because some women, and I had to agree with this segment Some women are not made to have children.
Dre Nicole
Okay?
Deval Ellis
Some women don't want to have children. But you can't define their womanhood by saying, if you don't have children for a man, you're not more of a woman. And I had to mature enough as a man to understand that. You know what? That's a valid fucking point. So for me, I personally feel for Deval that I want to be able to support my wife. I want to be able to make all the money. And if she wants to make money, she can. But if she don't and she want to be a homemaker, she could do that too. I was called misogynistic by some women who feel like I'm controlling my wife. But you know what I learned in that? I'm not for that woman.
Lex P
She need to write a how to book Z. Yeah. Cause she got all the answers. I'm gonna call her, period.
Deval Ellis
A lot of people feel they got all the answers. You know, when you realize you don't got all the answers, that's when you start to advance in life.
Dre Nicole
Life, you start to evolve.
Deval Ellis
When you evolve, when you realize, you know what? I haven't arrived. The minute you think you arrived, that's when you really lost.
Lex P
So the first topic we wanted to ask you, because there's two different sayings that people always say. They always say, behind every successful man is a strong woman. You know, married men are more successful.
Dre Nicole
And statistics technically show that.
Lex P
Right. And then on the other hand, they have statistics that show single women live longer. Single women are happier, you know, like being independent and being free. And, you know, we see people like Oprah, who has a little situation, but she does what she can do. You know, we see the Tracee Ellis Ross, and we see all these women, we're like, hmm, that don't look so bad.
Deval Ellis
Right.
Lex P
So how do you feel like, as a married man, society should approach things like that?
Dre Nicole
And do you feel like that's true, like, with being married? Do you feel like, for example, your success, is it attributed to a certain extent by your relationship and your marriage?
Deval Ellis
Yeah. The first thing I will say is that I wouldn't be the person I am if it wasn't for my wife and my partner.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Deval Ellis
When I was 18, 19 years old, and I told Kadeen that I wanted to be an actor, I was gonna use the NFL. She made my breakfasts. She did the stretches. When I separated my shoulder and I had to sleep sitting up from that dance, she was sitting up.
Lex P
That's why y'all.
Dre Nicole
The Breakers.
Lex P
That's what it was.
Deval Ellis
It was the shoulder. That's Lex. I ain't fucking with you, man. I hurt my shoulder playing football. Okay?
Lex P
Okay.
Deval Ellis
I'm out here in these streets. I'm out here in these streets. Sure you did. I got stats to prove.
Lex P
All right?
Dre Nicole
That was the straw that broke became back. But it was probably the breakup first.
Deval Ellis
I'm gonna fight Lex before I leave here. I'm gonna fight Lex. All my Brooklynites, y'all know what the Brooklyn is. The brook up is. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
Lex P
But she was doing the stretches.
Deval Ellis
She was all of those things. She was there when I was training for the NFL. She was there. She helped me create. Okay? I'm a visual learner, right? You get playbooks. The playbooks sound like this, just so you know. Hop to. Trips, right, motion, scat, right, five, 25F, post swing, ready, Break. Every word. Every word has a meaning. My wife made flashcards with every word in those things, and it had a definition. And that's how I practiced learning the plays.
Lex P
Oh, she was in the gym.
Deval Ellis
She wasn't. When they. You know what they say? She wasn't with me shooting in the gym.
Lex P
She was definitely.
Deval Ellis
She was with me shooting in the gym.
Dre Nicole
Cause, baby, that sound like a whole different language to me. I was like, what?
Deval Ellis
But that's why I praise and honor my wife so much, because she literally was. And sometimes people say, like, man, why you doing all of that? Like your wife. I say, yeah, maybe your wife didn't do it, but my wife did. But I will. The first thing I say is, I am who I am because I have a support system. Not only my wife, my parents, her parents, the mentors in my life who poured into me, they all made the vow possible. So it wasn't just my wife. It wasn't just me. It wasn't just God, it was a combination of everything. But I will say this about statistics. First and foremost, statistics are skewed, right? Because I will say this. Nobody never asked me a fucking question where these statistics coming from. I've been married for 14 years and no one ever asked me.
Lex P
You never did. Went on Family Feud. I wonder who asked them that question.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying? We've asked 100 would be white people. That's the first. No, it's.
Lex P
You ate with that one.
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? So first thing we gotta do is throw out those things because they typically don't ask black People, a lot of the things they ask in these statistics and stuff like that aren't about us. So we can just dismiss that. The second thing I will say is if we're going to rate success based on Western views, which means what white people say is considered successful. Yeah. We're all gonna fall short because these views have never been made for us.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Deval Ellis
Remember we were considered 3/5 of a human being in this country since 17 when this country, 1774. We weren't considered humans.
Dre Nicole
Low key.
Deval Ellis
So since we weren't considered humans, why would we ever listen to their rhetoric about how we're supposed to behave? That's why I say find out what works for you.
Lex P
I know somebody who listened to Dr. Umar. When I see it, a woke king. I know that's right, brother.
Dre Nicole
What do you call the doctor Umar?
Lex P
I don't know, but the Umari is.
Deval Ellis
Listen, I'm not 100% always in agreement with everything Dr. Umar says, but he.
Dre Nicole
Low key when he talks.
Deval Ellis
When he talks about the black family though.
Lex P
Yeah, yeah, he know what he talks about.
Deval Ellis
He cooking. He be cooking when he talk about the black family. If you look at the history of this country, nothing they talk about when they talk about family or relationships is ever with us. Right. But then we will look at those things and say, well, percentages say. Percentages don't include us.
Lex P
That was a great point. Cause I never thought about that. Cause honestly, when they talk about statistics, like he said, you have been Married for what, 12 years?
Deval Ellis
14 years.
Dre Nicole
14 years.
Lex P
22 with my wife, four kids. 22 years. And ain't nobody asked you shit.
Deval Ellis
Never.
Lex P
First time you asked was Lex, Andrea.
Dre Nicole
And you should be the prime candidate.
Deval Ellis
Well, I'll give y'all another statistic. Right. What's the narrative that we hear about black men?
Dre Nicole
They don't get married.
Deval Ellis
No, no, they don't. Like who?
Dre Nicole
Oh, they don't like black women.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So the national average for black men who are married, what are they married to?
Lex P
It's gotta be black women.
Deval Ellis
Black women at what percentage? Over 85%.
Lex P
So here, do that.
Deval Ellis
Here's another one. Here's another one. But it don't matter though. Cause once they make money, that's when they go get white women.
Dre Nicole
White women, yeah.
Deval Ellis
The national average for making over $200,000. Black men, right. How many of those men are married to black women? I give him about a cool 95%.
Lex P
95.
Deval Ellis
This is why I believe it.
Lex P
I do believe it.
Deval Ellis
Listen. Cause they'll show you. They'll show you the one black athlete who may be married to a white woman, Right? Mm. But then think about Russell Westbrook, Russell Wilson, LeBron James, Steph Curry. I can keep going and going. Willie Colon, who else? I'm talking about my friends, now that I know. Stephen Bowen, Marcus Colston, Kyle Aronson. All married, all wealthy, made money, all married to black women.
Lex P
And then when you hear the horror stories, we gotta talk about Scottie Pippen.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying, girl? When I was Lex.
Lex P
Lex, she stay with her little bitch outside with Future is crazy.
Deval Ellis
Lex has a good point, though, because they'll show the Scottie Pippens, right? And they'll say, look, this is how black men behave. Yeah, but that's not the fact. I'm married to a black woman. My woman is black. She's Jamaican and Vincentian. Her mom is black as a motherfucker. Her grandmother, black as a mother. But they'll never push that out there. Cause it don't fall in line with the narrative they want. You gotta understand that destroying the black family has been on the forefront of the mind of the people who created this country. Right? We weren't allowed to get married first. Right? And even when we got married, there was a lot of times they took our women and raped our women. And we had to watch because they do not want us to get together. Because if you have the black family and we continue to work together, what's gonna happen to the wealth that happens in this country is gonna go to who?
Dre Nicole
Black people, Our kids?
Deval Ellis
How do you destroy the black wealth in this country? Destroy the black family? Make black women think that black men don't love them. Make black men think that black women don't respect them. That's all a fallacy. It's not true. Like, the older I get, I'm 40 years old now, the more I realize that everything I've learned from mass media has been programmed by people who have an agenda. And I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm not. But it is what it is.
Dre Nicole
I see it.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Lex P
I mean, because I. We had this conversation a while back with the guests that we had, and I can't remember, but we were basically talking about, like, government assistance and housing and things like that. And they were saying how literally, like, if you are a struggling, you know, woman, and you're on housing, you can't have a man in the house.
Deval Ellis
You can't purposefully.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
The minute you have a man in the house, they will take away your Assistant. So you know what people started doing the 70s. I know. Cause I have family who've been through this. Dad may be in the home, Common law marriage. Because men were just like, if I marry you, you can't get the assistance. I also won't be there when the person who comes and checks on the house and the kids. So when they come by, they say, oh, this woman here by herself. The dad will be in the closet. The dad will be somewhere else. I have family members who I watch go through this, and they, like, you know, the government coming by. But the reason why they do that is to be able to get what they need from the government. And I hate to say this. I hate to say this, but I'm gonna say this. Matter of fact, I'm not gonna say it. Cause I'm not even gonna give her name. But there is a talking head who always speaks about the black family and the black community. And because we have painted her as a villain, we won't listen to what her messages are. I don't agree with all of her messages. That's why I won't accept her. I won't say her name. Cause I won't even give her. I think you do. Yeah. I won't give her any press on your platform because I don't think it's fair because of what you do. So I won't do that. But when you listen to some of the things she says, she's absolutely true. The black people in this country are the best when we are together. Look at black Wall street, right? The minute we start to work together, they tear it down. And they tear it down. They tear us apart. And they tell us all the time, mass incarceration was the same thing. How can we get black fathers out of the house? Let's put him in prison. Right? Let's look at the voting cycle, right? Only 4% of black men in this country voted this year. Not 4% of black men. 4% of the voting population were black men.
Lex P
Oh, okay, okay.
Deval Ellis
And the first thing they'll say is, mind you, we're only 15% of the population. The first thing they say is, black men don't vote. But what they won't say is that 80% of the prison population is black men. And if they can't vote, it brings down the numbers. But rather than say that, you know what they'll say? Black men don't vote, and they won't vote for Kamala. You see what I'm saying? It's like they just do things in Order to tear us apart, and we have to do a good job, a better job of staying together.
Dre Nicole
Which is so crazy, because it's like, how do we live in a country where felons can't vote, but one could be the president?
Deval Ellis
But that's another topic, because this country was never made for us. Think about it. This constitution and everything was made for a white man.
Lex P
And I'm not gonna lie. I have seen that narrative a lot today, because obviously, when y'all see this episode, we already know that Trump has again president.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
And it's been a lot of the narrative that they were trying to blame, you know, like, the black men and all this stuff. But when you saw the voting and everything, they had the statistics.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
I think 79, 78 of black men voted for Kamala.
Dre Nicole
Because I said that to my man, and he went off on me.
Deval Ellis
What you said?
Dre Nicole
And he sent me the stats.
Deval Ellis
What you said. You said black men ain't voting for.
Dre Nicole
I was like, I feel like black men didn't show up enough. And he was like, hold on.
Lex P
Oh, he gonna get them numbers, y'all. That's one thing about.
Dre Nicole
I was like, my bad. I'm sorry.
Deval Ellis
No, but I mean, this is really important for us as a community of people to stop pointing a finger at each other and let me sit down with some queens. Not for nothing. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. Right. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. The first. The minute my team sending me, yo, you gonna go to the poor minds.
Dre Nicole
Mm.
Deval Ellis
You know why? I wanna sit down with black women and discuss about relationships. I told y'all, I've been watching y'all. I've seen this. I wanna discuss it so that it doesn't have.
Lex P
Right. I mean, you know what? I'll say this, too. A long time ago, we decided to stop that gender war, because we used to do that a lot too.
Dre Nicole
We did.
Lex P
We were in that gender war.
Dre Nicole
Like, oh, they used to say we was male bashers. I never felt like we were, to be honest. I just think we had a lot of differing opinions, you know?
Deval Ellis
Can I be honest?
Dre Nicole
Sure.
Deval Ellis
I never thought that y'all were male bashers.
Dre Nicole
Thank you.
Deval Ellis
But I did think that based on what you've lived through in your life, you told your truth.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And the truth is, a lot of people don't want to hear your truth if it doesn't fit what they want it to be. So I can understand why you got that label. Not saying that it was fair, but I Mean, I get the same label, too. If I tell my truth about life, whoever's on the opposite side of that truth is going to feel like I'm bashing them, you know?
Dre Nicole
And I'm misogynistic.
Deval Ellis
Yeah. Or they say I'm misogynistic.
Lex P
Like, I don't. And that goes to a good point. Because that's why our community is so separated. Because you'll say one thing, they'll be ready to cancel you and not.
Deval Ellis
Yeah.
Lex P
Solidarity. One thing about them white folks, they gonna be together. They gonna stick together.
Deval Ellis
Are they?
Lex P
But.
Deval Ellis
Are they? But I'm gonna challenge you on this. We talk about black Twitter.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely.
Lex P
What's up, y'all?
Dre Nicole
It's your girl xp, and it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Lex P
And we are here to tell y'all about joinbuilt.com One thing about it, you have to pay rent no matter what. So why don't you get rewarded for paying your rent?
Dre Nicole
Absolutely. You need those points. And one thing about Bill, they gonna give you some points. So, yes. The thing about build, you can get access to 500 plus airlines with all of the points that you accumulated with build. Same thing with hotels, except 700,000 plus. You know how many hotels that is all over the world. Go wherever you want to go.
Lex P
Yes. All you have to do is pay your rent. And they have a point system so you can use these points for flights, hotel, you need a vacation, you got to pay your rent anyway. So get rewarded for it. All you're going to do is go to join built.com poor minds. That's J O I N B I L T.com poor minds. Tell them Lex Andrea sent you, period. Earn points by paying rent. Now when you go to joinbuilt.com Poor Minds, that's J O I N B I L T.com Poor Minds. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Join built.com Poor Minds to start earning points with your rent payments.
Deval Ellis
Today we talk about black Twitter. Why? Because we're all on black Twitter. How much time have you spent on white Twitter or Spanish Twitter?
Lex P
But what I can say Chinese Twitter. You're right.
Dre Nicole
But Black Twitter is our Arabic Twitter. But black Twitter, our worst enemy.
Lex P
Exactly. Black Twitter is also the people who be dragging me every day just cause I'll be like, oh, I don't like pork chops. Oh my God. You don't like pigs.
Dre Nicole
Bitch, you are where you come from.
Deval Ellis
Don't even bring up grits. Cause if you talk about grits, on black Twitter, whether it's sugar or salt, it's a problem. But what I will say this is, you don't know the beefs that go on in the other Twitter because we don't be on it. White people be beefing, bro. I seen white people and white men and white women going at it over Taylor Swift because white women been saying, Taylor Swift is their savior. She's their Beyonce. Right? So white women is up here. I'm independent, and I seen white men going at them. There was a post on white Twitter today. It's funny, I'm calling on white Twitter, white Twitter, that Fox News posted that Taylor Swift is a hypocrite because she always talks about climate change, but she flew a private jet to get to the game, and it has more. A private jet has more emissions than any vehicle. Horrible. So I'm watching these white people go back and forth, and I'll say, you know what's funny? If this was a black news site and this was Beyonce, we would be saying that black people are our own worst enemy. Yeah, white people do the same thing today. Stars, too. And they people. We got to stop giving them a pass. Like, they don't.
Lex P
I don't give them a pass because I'll say this, because people always look at black podcasts, they'd be like, oh, they don't do that, man. White podcast be doing the same.
Deval Ellis
They do.
Dre Nicole
They be like, they need to defund podcast. Take away the microphone.
Lex P
I agree. As far as, like, what you're saying is they be doing the same thing. As far as they talk about relationship type, they do talk about 50, 50. They do the same things.
Deval Ellis
They do same things.
Lex P
But when I say solidarity, I'm talking about when it comes to, like, one cause as serious and as big as politics, they do not care that this man has a felon. He's been accused of rape, assault, everything on the Sunday. Like, we don't want a black woman in there, so we gonna come together. And that's what I mean.
Deval Ellis
I feel you.
Lex P
When it comes to making a change of what kind of change that they.
Deval Ellis
Want, I feel you.
Lex P
They don't care about what's white women. As a woman, it doesn't matter what race you are as a woman, to vote for Trump is absolutely insane. But what they do is they're going to stick by their skin color before what's even best for them as a individual person. So that's what I think.
Dre Nicole
It's also a marriage thing, though, because I was having a conversation. I was Having a conversation with my man, and he was just like. To be honest, a lot of people didn't. Didn't vote for her because people in marriages want to have babies. If that's like. Like, most people are one policy voters. So a lot of people voted for Kamala just because she was more, you know, pro choice. And he was basically saying, like, people who are married, women who are married, they don't care about abortion bands.
Lex P
But it's not about the abortion man. Because what happens when you're on the table and you're hemorrhaging?
Dre Nicole
But I'm saying I feel like dying.
Lex P
Because they're looking at abortion as, oh, I have sex with somebody and I got pregnant. Pregnant. There's women on the table that are hemorrhaging and they're dying. Yeah. And they can't abort the baby because it's illegal.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Lex P
I don't care that you went to the club and had sex with somebody. Now you pregnant. That's not what we talking about. But they're using that as an excuse.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Lex P
But they're not looking at the thousands and thousands of black women who are dying giving birth.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
You know what I'm saying? It's a much bigger issue. So I get.
Dre Nicole
But as a white woman, why do you.
Lex P
But guess what? But it's gonna be different when you sitting on.
Deval Ellis
You have a good point, and this is what I will have to say. We, as a black community, expect everybody to just understand our plight and care about our plight, and they don't. If the plight don't address you, why would you care? Why would a white. Why would a Karen care about a.
Dre Nicole
Drake maternal death rate for black women?
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying? They wouldn't. And if we being about not representing. 78% of black men voted for Kamala.
Dre Nicole
Mm.
Deval Ellis
99. No. 91% of black women voted for Kamala. Not that many white people voted for Trump. Like it wasn't in the 90s and the 70s. There were less white people who voted for Trump, which means there were less white people who were in agreement with his policies and his politics, which means white people don't always rock. With white people, the bottom line is black people are only 15% of the population. If we were 50% of the population, then Kamala would be the president. But the truth is that we're still the minority. And we would need our Latino and Latina sisters and brothers and Asian sisters and brothers. And. Yes. I mean. I mean, a lot of those groups failed us. But that brings Me back to my point. We should not ever be worried about any of those groups.
Lex P
That's our face.
Deval Ellis
This is the building we got into.
Lex P
Here, the people of color, the poc, and trying to group us all together this election. If you didn't know before, you know now. It ain't no one. One for all group. Oh, we all people of color. That's not what it's given.
Deval Ellis
Nah, it's never been that.
Dre Nicole
It's never been that.
Deval Ellis
It's never been that.
Dre Nicole
It's never been that.
Lex P
I mean, they've always tried to group us together, so I just hope that this woke up our eyes.
Dre Nicole
I mean, they do. But I think that us being a part of the community, we know it's always been a divide. I was having a conversation with some. Oh, I was online live. I was on Tick Tock Live, because I know you've watched probably some of our shows or whatever, but I've talked about being adopted and stuff. So, like, my biological dad is half Dominican. So I was on live one day, and somebody had said something about that, and they was like. But I was like, I'm still like. Because they were like, aren't you mixed or something? And I was like, no, I'm not mixed. Like, my biological dad is half Dominican, but my grandfather was Afro Latino. Like, he was a black man.
Lex P
You know, ethnicity. And.
Dre Nicole
And they was like. They was like, don't. They was like, don't say that on live drea. It do. It do. And they was like, don't say that on live drea. Because, you know, Dominicans get mad when you say they black. But it's like, but why y'all on the same island with Haiti. And y'all look just alike facts. But y'all mad that people say y'all black. I mean, we always been a divine.
Deval Ellis
Do you know why they mad? Do you know why they mad? It's easier to be accepted when you are in alignment with European values. It's that simple. Like, we. We can't sit here and make it seem like that ain't what it is. The reason why Puerto Ricans and Dominicans beef is because Puerto Ricans say, well, we're Americans. You're not American. But then when you look at Puerto Rican culture, they tend to assimilate to European ideals. Whereas Dominicans, like you say, look like Haitians. They share the same island, just speak Spanish, you see, when they just speak Spanish. But they was like, I'm not black. I'm Dominican, if you understand.
Dre Nicole
I know black.
Lex P
Oh, I know black.
Deval Ellis
So here's the funny thing, right? You look at me, I'm from New York. You look at me, right? There's a bunch of Dominicans.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, yeah.
Deval Ellis
I walk into a bodega, I'm like, yo, Poppy, let me get a bacon, egg, and cheese. Like, are you Dominican? They start speaking Spanish, I'm like, no, I'm not Dominican. I'm black. And I'm like, we could be brothers. They literally say to me, I'm not black. I'm Dominican.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And they'll be darker than me.
Lex P
Please.
Deval Ellis
I just. If there's one thing I want y'all to think about, don't shame people for their ideals. Try to understand where they coming from. And even as ignorant as it is, like, for example, a Dominican saying, I'm not black. As ignorant as it is, you gotta understand, like, you know what? That person's trying to survive and exist in this world.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And if they got something negative to say to me because I said they Dominican, that's where they are in that moment, I'm not going to waste no energy going back at something. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's where you said earlier, too.
Lex P
About, like, the percentages of what people make and the world they're existing in and how to survive.
Deval Ellis
Yeah. That's. That's how you learn to, like, love people and not be so upset when they disagree with you. You're like, okay, you disagree with me because you going through something, you always. Okay, you would never understand. Because you know what? You may be right. I may never understand, but what I did was I put out some content and it made you feel away. So then, now you got to deal with how you feel. Right? You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how I address everything. I had two years ago is when the slap happened, and I had people in the industry ask me, what's your thoughts about this slap? And this has always been my answer. I said, well, I'll tell you like this. If you're a father and a dad and you've been in the public eye and your kids have been scrutinized and been called names and your wife has been picked on and stuff, you know who you side with? You side with Will. If you a comedian and you just trying to do your art and you trying to go out here and entertain people, and you just got slapped on stage, you know who you side with? Chris Rock. If you a content creator and you, you know, you out here trying to make the best images possible, and you upset that Will Smith and Chris Rock destroyed the Oscars. You side with Will Packer because Will Packer is the one who produced the Oscars. The first black producer in the oscars happened in 2020. And this is what we got to deal with. If you're a woman and you feel like you've never been protected and finally someone stood up and slapped the. Out of somebody, you siding with Jada. And when I say that, people be like, I never thought about it like that. That's how we got to think about life, yo. Think about what you're going through in a moment. You're gonna side with not who's right. You're gonna side with who you relate to. You know what I'm saying? There's no. There's no black and white, right or wrong. There's so many shades of gray. And you gotta start asking yourself, if I felt like this, what am I going through that made me relate to that?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And then start thinking, like, dang. Because that's what I did. The minute it happened, the first thing I said was, good for that motherfucker. He got slapped. Cause I'm tired of them. And then I had to think about, like, shit.
Dre Nicole
Cause that comment was just so unnecessary.
Deval Ellis
It was unnecessary. It was the wrong time. It wasn't his first time saying something to you.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, they have, like. They had a long.
Deval Ellis
They had a history.
Lex P
That's what the tea was for me. When I found out that, you know, he was trying to. You know, that's when it made it a little different.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. They didn't have intention.
Deval Ellis
Yeah. Yeah. Since 2000. I think it was 2017, the first time he hosted the Oscars. But the reason why I brought that point is I think. I hope people listen to this and realize, damn, when I disagree with someone, am I disagreeing with them because I really don't agree, or am I disagreeing because what they saying triggered something in me that I had to look at myself.
Lex P
Right. But also in the same breast as we were talking about. And I hate to bring it back to this. It was so many. I hate to say this, but it was a lot of, like, higher up, like, white people who were so like, will, how dare you? How dare you? But y'all are acting like this man gutted him on stage in front of you know what I'm saying? Was it right? No. You shouldn't put your hands on nobody. Now, I'm not saying that what he did was whatever, but y'all were acting like he just hung this man on national TV live. But then y'all are the same people who were in Trump's corner.
Deval Ellis
Understandable.
Lex P
And things for. We know for a fact that he's done things that could land you in prison.
Deval Ellis
Can I tell you something funny that you said that my 13 year old son brought up to me, that gave me perspective. And he wasn't 30 at the time. He said, dad, I gotta. Why were so many more people upset about the slap than they were about George Floyd?
Lex P
Okay.
Deval Ellis
This is my, at the time, 12 year old son.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And I had to explain to him, I said, you know, when people can't see themselves in a victim, they think it doesn't matter. So if you're not a black man, if you never dealt with substance abuse, if you're not a George Floyd, then you look at that situation and you think of every excuse as to why that had to happen.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
But then if you're a rich, pampered, elitist white person and you see another person walk over and slap someone on stage, on national tv, the first thing you think of is, oh my God, this is appalling. That's how I had to explain it to him. And he was just like, that doesn't make sense. I said, emotions don't make sense, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like emotions, the fact that they feel.
Dre Nicole
Away, it gotta make no sense to nobody.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
No, I say that it don't gotta make sense. It only has to make sense to the person that's having the emotion.
Lex P
Yeah. And I also think that it was just a moment for them to like shit on Wheel too.
Dre Nicole
Like people been waiting on.
Lex P
They cannot stand that the one of the number one actors in the world who can literally drop a movie right now and it's gonna do millions in the box office. Because movies, it's hard to do a movie right now. Most movies are going to the theaters, but they're also going to streaming service.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely, absolutely.
Lex P
Will Smith can drop a movie and it's going to be nowhere. And he'll put it at AMC only and it's still gonna do 100 million. So this was their moment. Like, we got him. Yeah, I agree.
Deval Ellis
I would have to agree a thousand percent. I mean, I would have to agree a thousand percent. I mean, whenever you get a chance to hate someone who's doing so well that they're doing better than me, I.
Dre Nicole
Mean, we always get, we always get a different response. So many people was like, I mean, this last Bad Boys movie, it was good, but let this be the last one. Y'all ain't say that about. Y'all ain't said that about Rocky.
Lex P
Y'all didn't say that about.
Dre Nicole
And it's like 15 Keanu Reason said three words.
Deval Ellis
You killed my dog, bro.
Lex P
We know they killed the dog. I'm sorry. And they got 10 John Wicks. Y'all let them bad boys keep coming. Leave people alone.
Dre Nicole
Cuz I'mma still go watch it.
Lex P
Every time.
Dre Nicole
Every time I'm watch.
Deval Ellis
Every time I watch every bad boy. That's my favorite movie. I watched it.
Dre Nicole
Sorry. That's what a son in law was fighting. He did his big one.
Deval Ellis
I was like, that was my favorite part of the movie.
Lex P
It was the best part.
Dre Nicole
But yes, I want to call it your girl xp and it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Lex P
And we are here to tell y'all about our brand new ebook and e course bundle pour into your pod.
Dre Nicole
Yes, y'all, we have been working on this for a while and we're so excited to put it out and give it to y'all because we know so many people. People have been asking us for such a long time about how to start a successful podcast and we have literally put all of the information that we have and everything that we've utilized into this one ebook.
Lex P
Yes, this is not your typical ebook because I know what a lot of y'all are thinking, but I'm telling y'all, we give y'all direct access to how we built our brand. It's not no fluffiness and all that what I've read in ebooks before. This is the ebook that's gets straight to the point and gives you all the direction you need to start your podcast today.
Dre Nicole
Absolutely. And you can trust that we are putting 100% good information, no filter into this book and it's going to help you build your brand and it shows you exactly how we build poor minds and made it into a six figure company.
Lex P
So make sure y'all head to poor minds.com to purchase your ebook or the ecourse. And we also have it available in a bundle for you so you can get both poor minds.com pour into your pod.
Dre Nicole
Get into this second topic real quick. I wanted to talk about hiding money from your spouse because.
Deval Ellis
Wow, I think.
Dre Nicole
This is a really good topic and we've been wanting to talk to somebody that's married about it for a while because I grew up in a two parent household. My parents were married my whole life and my mom, she always, you know, tells me that her and my dad, they just had one joint bank account. And I be like, girl, you ain't have a little stash? But then I ain't never been married, so maybe that's the wrong ideology to have.
Deval Ellis
I don't. I don't think it's the wrong. I don't think it's the wrong ideology. Like my. Like Kadine and I, we have multiple bank accounts, okay? We have our business bank account where all of the money comes through, because that's how you avoid taxes.
Dre Nicole
Are we like a married couple? You know, being in business with somebody is like America, but we got the same type of sitter.
Deval Ellis
So I also got. I almost got canceled. Remember? Talking about being canceled? I said, marriage is a business.
Dre Nicole
I mean, it is.
Deval Ellis
So the Bible boppers came to me and was like, marriage is a covenant under God. The fact that you said marriage is a business, I can't follow. I said, fine, if that's how it made you feel, two things could be one. That's how I felt. I said, hey, I think two things can be true. I didn't say that it wasn't a covenant under God, but it is definitely a business, right? Kadeen and I share a business account. Under that business account, we have a trust. All of our money goes to our trust, our kids first, to make sure that we. Good. Then we have a joint bank account, which is our savings. But her and I agree, this is what we're working on in this calendar year, okay? Under that, she got her own checking account, and I got my own checking account. Because I don't want you checking me on what I'm trying to buy. And I don't want to have to check you on what you trying to buy because you're also an individual.
Dre Nicole
Right.
Deval Ellis
But as long as.
Lex P
But all the money goes through the business account.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely.
Dre Nicole
And you can still.
Lex P
So, you know. But you still know how much she.
Dre Nicole
Put in her, right?
Deval Ellis
No, I can't. I can't. I can't see her checking account.
Dre Nicole
Oh, okay.
Lex P
No, but I'm saying. But you know how much goes in there, right?
Deval Ellis
Every. Every week. Yeah, every week. I know. So because. Because that's the partnership. Partnership is. And. But the thing is her having her own, her little stash. I ask her sometimes, like, how much money you got in your checking account? And she like, I got a little son. Why I got a little something. I'm just making. And I said. I said, I'm making sure you good. Because one thing about Kadeen is she's gonna ask me she was like, babe, I saw this bag. And I'm like, why are you asking me? You got your money in your.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And she's like, no, I just wanna make sure that we are good. And I tell her, by the time it gets to that account, which is your account, you don't gotta ask no fucking questions.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Cause I'm not asking no questions. If I'm gonna plan something for you and surprise you, I don't want you to know. What. I'm surprised. My vice is not her vice. I like cars, okay? I like cars. She likes bags and shoes and trips. I don't want her to have to. She's an individual. Imagine somebody, baby, can I buy. Get the fuck out of. No, you're an adult. And she works. She works. So you have your money that goes to you. I got my money. That. But ultimately the estate building and the legacy building is already done before it gets to that point. So at that point, there's no arguments. Cause we've already taken care of the kids and ourselves, you know, and the truth is, I made that a priority when we first got together. I told her, I said, yo, if we gonna live together and be together, we gotta be able to discuss finances.
Dre Nicole
Right?
Deval Ellis
In real time.
Lex P
That's an uncomfortable conversation.
Deval Ellis
What?
Lex P
But you know what? I have. I tell people all the time, if you can't have an uncomfortable conversation with your partner, your friend, your family, be your partner. Exactly. Uncomfortable conversations always lead to growth every time.
Deval Ellis
But you also realize that the uncomfortable conversations you're having isn't because that person just wants to be defiant or it's because y'all grew up differently. And I learned that my father in law never discussed with my wife finances. He was the bread. Well, he wasn't. Well, this is another thing. My wife's mom was the breadwinner.
Lex P
Okay.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
Jamaican woman came over, became a nurse, director of nurse. And she made over $150,000 a year.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
Her father was a CNA. CNAs aren't, you know, they aren't licensed. He made about 45 kids, but all the money they got collectively, he bought property in the 80s and 90s. So here, he wasn't the type of man that made a lot of money on a salary, but he had the mental fortitude and the vision to buy multiple properties and put all of their kids through college with the properties he bought and the equity within the. So watching that, watching my dad, I say, okay, it's my job as the man to make sure that we have a plan financially. But I don't want my wife to feel like she's a child in the house, and she gotta come to me every day and be like, babe, I want. Get a n. Here's your salary based on what you make. Here's my salary based on what I make. My salary goes to the kids. Like, I just don't. I don't. I don't. Like, I ain't gonna lie. My wife bought this.
Lex P
I was about to say, you, show is icy over there.
Dre Nicole
I said, what's in your account in blind.
Deval Ellis
You want. Y'all want to hear a funny story? Funny story. 38th birthday, my wife says to me. He's like, hey, baby, get. We going to the mall.
Dre Nicole
Mm.
Deval Ellis
Like, the mall. Like, it's my birthday. Why the fuck we going to the mall?
Dre Nicole
Right?
Deval Ellis
We go to the mall. We go to the jeweler. She goes, get whatever you want.
Lex P
I know that's.
Deval Ellis
This is my wife. Now, I love her. Now, mind you, I'm the breadwinner. She be freaking. And when I tell you. I felt like a bad bitch in there, I was like. I was like, I can get that.
Lex P
I can get that. Okay.
Deval Ellis
I got this watch, I got this bracelet, I got this necklace, he said. And I was like, is this too much? Is this too much? And she was like, no, get it all. She's like, get it all. And then when she went and got. She got me this. Cause I don't buy jewelry.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So she got me all of these things. That's you, right Now. She got me all these things, and she bought it for my birthday. And this is why I wear it, because I want people to know. She got me all of these Van Cleefs. I didn't know what a Van Cleef was. I was like, what?
Lex P
That is expensive, that wrist.
Deval Ellis
She told me about Van Cleefs and Cartier bracelets and stuff. But I'm like, man, you get to do what you want to do as a woman. That got to make you feel empowered.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying? Cause she make her own money, period.
Lex P
Girl, ain't nobody coming steal your man. He is expensive.
Deval Ellis
Now, that's the fact. If a woman come to me, I'm gonna be like, listen, now, listen. I'll smash you.
Lex P
Good luck, girl.
Deval Ellis
Can you get me an AP Iced out.
Dre Nicole
You can spit your ass.
Deval Ellis
Come back. That's hilarious. I'm expensive. I'm a bad bitch. I'm expensive.
Dre Nicole
I ain't mad at it.
Lex P
So now it's time to get into.
Dre Nicole
The bed, bow the Bed.
Deval Ellis
Bow. The head. Bow. Let's get out.
Dre Nicole
Bow, bow, bow.
Lex P
Sold.
Dre Nicole
We don't get in your business a little bit.
Lex P
Don't hit the shoulder. Now.
Deval Ellis
The shoulder. Ask my wife about the shoulder. I be in the bed with shoulder. I throw that shoulder in it.
Lex P
I am so good.
Deval Ellis
We in a bed, I think. Lex, leave me alone.
Lex P
Look, now, I hate y'all, okay?
Deval Ellis
But I love y'all.
Dre Nicole
You cutting up.
Lex P
You are cutting up. This is funny. Okay, so we were talking about monogamy earlier, right? And we were talking about, you know. You were. You're saying, like, that is a decision that you made and that you wanted to. But monogamy does look different for, you know, everybody.
Deval Ellis
Yeah.
Lex P
So I just wanna know, not saying that you do this or anybody. I'm just saying, what is your opinion on hall passes? And let me define hall passes for the people that are watching. So a hall pass is basically like a man or a woman, they let their partner, like, okay, you can go out, whatever it is, like once a year, twice a year, and do whatever you want with whoever you want. And that's your hall pass. I can't get mad.
Dre Nicole
Don't ask questions.
Lex P
There's no conversation about it. And that's your hall pass. So how do you feel about hall passes?
Deval Ellis
Me, personally, I'm not a hall pass. I'm selfish as a mother. Yeah, right. But I also understand that my wife is selfish. So when it comes to that, I know that I have to do my best to be everything she needs. People say, deval, why you work out all the time? I work out all the time because when I get out the shower, I want my wife to look at me and be like, yeah, I need you.
Lex P
What is wrong with you? You be getting out of the shower like this.
Deval Ellis
Yo, I get out of the shower in slow motion. So I get out the shower in slow motion.
Lex P
I can lie with you. I'm done with you.
Deval Ellis
I be like, you see this glisten? You see this glisten, baby? Do you see the glisten? That's what I do. And I think it's important that men understand. It's just important for us to keep ourselves up as we ask our women to keep ourselves up.
Lex P
I agree with that.
Deval Ellis
I like a slim waist fat ass. You know what I'm saying? Some perky joints. I like the full lips. I like a nice, nice, subtle makeup. I don't like too much makeup. I like subtle makeup.
Lex P
A little light beat.
Deval Ellis
Light beat. You know what I'm saying? Not too much contour. I don't like the contour too much, you know what I'm saying? I don't like that. I got my demands.
Dre Nicole
I feel you.
Deval Ellis
But my wife got her demands too, you know what I'm saying? So I gotta stay six packed up, you know? She like broad shoulders. She like a big chest, you ab'd up. I'm abed up. She like, I'm abed up. N'd up. I'm abed up. I cut down dairy out my diet. I cut red meat. My wife told me what she like. I was like, okay, okay, she, she like a strong man with a strong physique.
Lex P
Okay?
Deval Ellis
So I still deadlift, I still squat, I still hang clean. Cause if I got a picture, I pick k up. I be like, huh? I pick her up up here. I'll be like, come on, baby. I put her on here. I just be like, come on, baby, let's. Oh. Sometimes women like to lift up, you know, they like to climb on and it's like, let me grab here.
Lex P
And just how tall is she?
Deval Ellis
She's five five.
Lex P
Okay. She's not small. Small, but she's not big.
Dre Nicole
Big, but she's got the average.
Deval Ellis
She's the average. And I'm 5 11. I'm 5 11. So I know most women prefer 61 and up. I understand that, but I'm not 6 1, you know what I'm saying? But I'm strong.
Dre Nicole
I'm too shy of you though.
Deval Ellis
No, 511 ain't too shy of it, but it ain't 6 1. And I get that. And one thing I tell you, gentlemen, if you have deficiencies in your life, man, don't be upset about it. I could never be 6:1. But what I will do is lift my ass so that I can, you know, you know what I'm saying? And I eat right so that I can be here. You know what I'm saying? I don't do the two minute joint. If we gonna be honest. I know I am the type of lover I love.
Lex P
So never a quickie. Sometimes you gotta get in kick.
Deval Ellis
I don't like quickies. You wanna know why? I don't like quickies.
Dre Nicole
But you know, I don't like long sex either though.
Deval Ellis
I get that too.
Dre Nicole
Like, I don't want it to be.
Deval Ellis
She don't like long sex. We got four kids. She don't got time for all of that. Yeah, but she do like to orgasm.
Dre Nicole
I think it needs, yes, it needs to be a good amount of time, but not too damn long.
Deval Ellis
So we Wrap this shit up. We've been married for a long time. And not for nothing, men do, like the long sex sessions.
Dre Nicole
Cause we like. Y'all do.
Deval Ellis
We like to be in there. We like to see y'all in town.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, we like to talk.
Deval Ellis
But I've learned to. I've understood that if you're not helping your woman get to her place, you can't have long sessions.
Dre Nicole
That's true.
Deval Ellis
I've also learned that if she gets to her place too fast, it's gonna be over. So what I learned how to do is help my wife edge.
Lex P
Okay?
Deval Ellis
Which means I'll keep her like. This is my move. You know, I'm. Put y'all up on.
Lex P
You put them on because they don't know.
Deval Ellis
Put them on. This is my.
Lex P
They need help.
Deval Ellis
I'm gonna tell y'all the game. This is what y'all do, bro.
Lex P
They do. They do.
Deval Ellis
Gentlemen, this is what you do.
Dre Nicole
I get another drink, please.
Deval Ellis
I'm gonna tell you. This is what you do, right? I love to see my woman enjoy sex. But the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put my mouth on it. You know what I'm saying? I got nice lips. I know women like my lips, so I make sure that she wear it right.
Dre Nicole
That's what I.
Deval Ellis
Then what I do, Lace, is I make sure it's right there to the point. And then I stop. Then I beat that thing up. Because when I beat that thing up. Cause now she's edging.
Dre Nicole
I feel like I make wrong people be easy.
Deval Ellis
No, no. I think it's important for men and women to understand that men don't only think about themselves when it comes to sex.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
I get her right to where she edges. Then I beat that thing up. And then when I'm beating that thing up, getting what I want, and I know that I'm about to. That's when I stopped.
Dre Nicole
That's why y'all got them kids.
Deval Ellis
Then I put her back on her back and I say, baby, hold this one more time. And then I just.
Lex P
What the hell you put in this drink?
Deval Ellis
Then I make her. I make the noise.
Lex P
Put a Bactriol in that drink.
Deval Ellis
I get them legs shaking. I'm gonna get them legs shaking. I'm gonna get them legs shaking. I know you feel once the legs start shaking, that's when I get behind that joint, and I just. Yeah, you see the shoulder? I get behind that bitch, like, ah.
Dre Nicole
He be breaking up.
Lex P
And I be beating that thing up.
Deval Ellis
Four kids later, baby.
Lex P
Okay, four kids.
Dre Nicole
Want to have four kids. Was that, like, the goal? Or was it just like, okay, we.
Deval Ellis
Both came from four. We came from three. We both came from three.
Dre Nicole
Okay.
Deval Ellis
So I told her in college, I only have boys. I don't have girls. I told her that. Right?
Dre Nicole
You ain't lying.
Deval Ellis
I'm not lying, but I wanted a girl.
Dre Nicole
Really?
Deval Ellis
Yeah. I wanted a girl because I felt like my wife deserved a little version of that she could groom into being, you know? And I also.
Dre Nicole
She would have been so cute. Cause y'all kids are small, extremely cute.
Deval Ellis
She would have been the best.
Lex P
That's crazy, though. Cause that. I think my sister is like, that she only has boys.
Dre Nicole
Yeah. She's like, does she want to have another one?
Lex P
I think they do. I think they do. But she's like, I can't deal with this. She's like, I'm in a house with three boys, with three men.
Deval Ellis
Y'all have no idea.
Lex P
And that's what I'm saying. So. For your wife. Oh, Lord.
Dre Nicole
And I've been following you and your wife on social media for a while. Cause like I said, I'm a fan of sisters, and I just love y'all dynamic, too. But, like, I know that y'all said y'all not gonna have any more kids.
Deval Ellis
We can't. Yeah, we can't have any more kids. I got a vasectomy.
Lex P
I know. That's right. You see, he needed one girl.
Deval Ellis
Leave me the fuck alone, Lex.
Lex P
You needed one.
Deval Ellis
I didn't need one.
Lex P
I seen that fucking show.
Dre Nicole
Cause y'all fertile.
Deval Ellis
We are fertile. We are fertile. The only reason why I got a vasectomy is because she was postpartum after the last, and she got on birth control, but the birth control made her anemic. And I was like, yo, you've already did enough to give us four kids. Let me do my part, period.
Lex P
Plus, I real man.
Deval Ellis
Plus, I. Thank you. I received that.
Lex P
I love that.
Deval Ellis
But I also was being selfish. And I knew that if I had a vasectomy and she didn't have to worry about it, she would be more inclined to be. You know what I'm saying?
Lex P
You're a freaky motherfucker.
Deval Ellis
Yeah, I am freaky, Joe. Listen, I will say this about monogamy. This is why I enjoy monogamy.
Dre Nicole
Okay?
Deval Ellis
I'm nasty.
Lex P
Clearly.
Deval Ellis
I like to lick and kiss. And I like. I'm the type of guy that k. Come up here. Sit up here. Let me. You can't do that with everybody.
Dre Nicole
But do you feel like, that's why yalls relationship and y'all marriage have lasted so long. Cause y'all keep it spicy.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely. I'm allowed to be the sexual being that I am because my wife embraces it. I don't come home and have to deal with. That's. See my cameraman. My cameraman over there, that's my boy Matt. He will tell you around 9:30, right? No matter how many people we got in the house, Kadine is gonna go put on some red shorts. They say co ed on the back. It's gonna be a crop top. Matt will be the one to say.
Lex P
Yo, time to wrap this shit up.
Deval Ellis
Because she knows what her husband needs.
Lex P
Not a freaky time.
Deval Ellis
She knows. My oldest son, Jackson, knows. Jackson will come to me like, oh.
Lex P
I have a Jackson. My nephew's Jackson.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Lex P
It's funny. And he knows it's time to wrap.
Deval Ellis
They already know. And that's a responsibility. As a man, my responsibility is provide and make sure that I give everything I have sexually to my wife. My wife understands that it's my opportunity. It's my obligation to make sure my. My husband's good.
Dre Nicole
But I love that.
Lex P
That's fun too.
Deval Ellis
It's fun.
Dre Nicole
I was gonna say I love that. Like, I love hearing their perspective from couples. Because it makes you actually look forward to being married. Married. Which. Which I. Which makes me have a question for you.
Lex P
Okay, y'all. So now it is our item of the week segment. And y'all know y'all can inquire about having your product featured on 4 Minds. And we have our first product here.
Dre Nicole
We have our first product, you guys. It's called La La Land Cosmetics. I have on the creamy red lip gloss. It's called such an Aries. It's so pretty. And look at the packaging. I love.
Lex P
I love that. It's very cute.
Dre Nicole
It's bling, bling, bling. Yeah.
Lex P
Oh, okay. So.
Dre Nicole
But it's so pretty, though.
Lex P
Yeah. You're a lipstick lip gloss connoisseur, you know, so talk about, like, the texture of it, the shine, the sheen, all that good stuff.
Dre Nicole
So I love the texture of it. It's very much non sticky. I hate a super sticky lip gloss. It's not sticky at all. It's very, very creamy.
Lex P
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
And I've been having it on for, you know, an hour or so. It been lasting.
Deval Ellis
It look real good.
Dre Nicole
It's real cute. And look at the pigment.
Lex P
I like that. So y'all know me. I am a highlighter girly. I love a good highlight. So she also sent us and shout out to Lala. This brand is actually, it's vegan and cruelty free and it's black owned. So you are supporting a black owned business. So I don't know if y'all remember a long time ago when they used to have the Anastasia Beverly Hills highlighter palettes. The girl's not doing highlighter palettes no more. And you can also use it as a bless you girl. Sorry. Use it as an eyeshadow. So I actually have on the sunset highlighter. And the good thing about this palette is it gives you options. Okay. And she sent a brush with us, so she does have highlighter brushes. Brush is very soft. It went on super smooth. And I always love a gold highlight. I think on that brown skin, it just gives like I've been sitting in the sun all day.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, it's giving sun kick.
Lex P
Yes. So yes, shout out to La La Land Cosmetics. I love the highlighter. And then she also has a. What's it called? The chocolate chocolate lip gloss set. So I have on box of chocolate lip gloss. Box of chocolate lip gloss set. So I put on the Reese Kisses. It's like a nude color. And one thing I love because they be forgetting about the brown skin girls when it comes to nude colors. So these are like nude for like the women of color. So it has like a darker brown in there, like a, a darker kind of like pinkish chocolate, chocolatey color. But I have on the more like nude pink. And I put it on with a brown lip liner, a dark brown lip liner and a clear gloss. And baby, I'm just a. I, I stick to the same colors on my.
Dre Nicole
Lips and I feel like this chocolate brown color would be perfect for the fall. Y'all know fall is coming up, so yeah, this will be really, really cute with like a chestnut lip liner.
Lex P
I love that. So make sure y'all go to La La Land cosmetics dot com. We're going to put the link in the bio for y'all and shop. Use code PORE and you'll get 15 off of your first order. You know, support a small own black business. That highlighter palette, she did her big.
Dre Nicole
One and this lip gloss too. Y'all see it? So, yeah, like, I wanted to ask you because, like, I feel like your beautiful family, your beautiful wife, so many people look up to y'all as couple goals. So do you ever feel the pressure to be couple go goals?
Deval Ellis
It's funny. It's funny you asked that question because first thing I. I hate the whole couple goals thing. Like, based on this conversation, y'all realize I don't think that there's one monolithic way, right? To describe a couple. So when you say couple goals, people are maximum. We all gotta be that way. No, the fuck you don't.
Dre Nicole
Yeah, you know.
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying? Nobody has to emulate me and Kadeen to be couple goals. So I hate it. But I do understand why we get that label. I don't think it's pressure because I'm just being myself.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
If I wasn't truly in love and wasn't truly monogamous and didn't really value my wife, it'd be pressure because I'm like, I gotta keep this shit up. But I really get to wake up in the morning, look at my wife, love her, love my kids, love my life, and just live it. You know what I'm saying? So I don't feel a need to put on. Yeah, this is who I am. I can talk about my wife and all day and not feel like I'm putting on. Cause this is how we live, you know?
Lex P
I love that for y'all. I love that for her. Cause I'm not gonna lie. Like I said, I'm not a man. But my. My being a woman and my experience in dating, you know, y'all both have something very rare and beautiful. So it's good to see a healthy relationship, but also people that not. Not admire, but appreciate.
Deval Ellis
I appreciate.
Lex P
Yeah, the seeing, the appreciation. I think everybody can see that and be like, okay, it's possible. Because I think for us as black women, like she said, getting in our 30s, you kind of lose hope a little bit. You lose hope to finding your partner or your forever. You be like, you know what? I'm okay with this, and I'm okay with that. But, you know, that gives us hope, and I think that's okay. Not necessarily in couple goals, but just letting us know, like, hey, there's still good men out here. Not everybody's the same. Not all women are the same. So I think that's. It's good that we see not necessarily be a couple goals, but we need to see healthy black relationships. We need to see men being fathers. Because to. Statistically, men are fathers.
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Dre Nicole
Especially black men households.
Lex P
Yes, we all have this narrative about deadbeat dads, but the black men are in the house.
Deval Ellis
And statistically, the black man is the most active father in the household.
Lex P
And that's something I didn't even know. I had to educate myself on that. So I think that it's just important for us to see that. And even though it's like social media, we like to say, is not real life, but like you said earlier in the episode, people are looking at social media for their news now.
Deval Ellis
Yeah.
Lex P
When I was literally updating myself last night on the. I was on Google, like, okay, electoral college. Let me see what the numbers are. I'm not looking at cnn. I'm not looking at fox. I'm just looking at the numbers. So we use our phones for information.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely.
Lex P
So unfortunately, and fortunately for us, people watch us for. Okay, educate me. Feed me something that I need to know. So I think that even though you don't like the couple goals, I think it's important that people see what you're doing.
Deval Ellis
No, I. I received that. And first of all, I thank y'all for. For giving me this platform to speak on it. But I do. I do think that it's unfair for us to make it seem as if Kadine and I were the first people to live like this. Right. Truth of the matter is, is that we just the first people to pick our phone up.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And let people see. You know what I'm saying? Like, I am just a reflection of my dad.
Lex P
Right.
Deval Ellis
I'm a reflection of my uncles and my grandfather. So I can't sit here and make it listen. Follow me.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
No, that's not. And every day I wake up thinking, like, yo, devale, don't fuck this up.
Dre Nicole
But I feel like it's amazing, though, because you're pouring into, like, the younger generation that didn't get to grow up around it the way that you did.
Deval Ellis
Well, I'm deliberate with that. When I was in college, 19 years old, my sophomore professor, Professor Trasciati, asked us to write a mission statement. The mission statement I came up with each day I work to build a legacy not to be defined by my greatness. Greatness, but by the masses I inspired to be greater than myself. I grew up idolizing Michael Jackson, and it wasn't because he could dance and he could sing. I idolized him because he had masses of people who followed him when he talked about healing the world, when he talked about, it doesn't matter if you're black and white. I watched masses of people be like, yeah, if Michael Jackson can do this, I can. And I just felt like, you know what? We have a greater responsibility and in fact, the fiduciary responsibility as people to pay it forward. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not enough to just say, I'm gonna do this for me and my family. No, we should share so that masses after us can say, you know what? I want to live like that. I mean, that's what Jesus lived on. All of these religious people, Jesus wasn't out here saying, look, see, I'm the son of the Son of God.
Dre Nicole
I'm perfect.
Deval Ellis
Jesus was amongst the rapists, the sinners, the disciples. He turned water into wine. He sat down with the worldliest of the worldly and just showed them a different way. He didn't judge them. He didn't say, I'm perfect. Be like me. He just said, hey, let's. Let's build, right? And that's. And I'm not saying that I'm Jesus, because I know how the Internet can be.
Lex P
They gonna flip it.
Deval Ellis
They gonna flip it like.
Dre Nicole
He canceled.
Deval Ellis
That's exactly what be happening, Jehovah.
Dre Nicole
I knew him and his wife wasn't perfect like that.
Deval Ellis
And you can't and you die group right there.
Dre Nicole
You know, they crazy.
Deval Ellis
They crazy.
Dre Nicole
They crazy.
Lex P
What's up, y'all?
Dre Nicole
It's your girl xp, and it's your girl Dre Nicole.
Lex P
Y'all know we have a segment on Poor Minds called Item of the Week, but do you have a product or something that you want to promote and you want it featured on Poor Minds, your opportunity is here, period.
Dre Nicole
If you have an item or you have a business and you want to get it promoted, we are now having slots available on the Poor Minds episode. So if you would like to get your product featured for Item of the Week, all you need to do is send an email to Item of the week PM gmail.com that's I T M O F T H E W E E k p m gmail.com Send us an email and we'll work it out. We going to figure it out. Get your product, get your business sponsored, and, yeah, make you some money.
Lex P
We love to support a small business.
Dre Nicole
Now in a black. Black business at that. But, I mean, they can be anybody.
Lex P
We don't discriminate.
Dre Nicole
Any business is welcome, obviously. Like I said, I love Sisters. Like, I've been watching season one. I am tuned in.
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Dre Nicole
I love you and Fatima. Then you're on Zatima.
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Dre Nicole
And then you also have a new movie coming out. Well, it just came out today.
Deval Ellis
It's come out today. Meet me next.
Dre Nicole
Yes, meet me next on Netflix.
Deval Ellis
Make sure y'all stream it.
Dre Nicole
Yes. On Netflix. So I definitely want to talk to you about Sisters. Like, let's talk about Zach and his character development over the years.
Deval Ellis
Let's talk about.
Dre Nicole
He has changed so much.
Deval Ellis
Yes. Zach was a young man dealing with recidivism when we first met him. Didn't have anything to his name. He was making money. He was trying to give Danny money so that he could stay there once in a while. He wasn't the best boyfriend. He gave Karen an std. He was, you know, not. Not pretty, not advanced when it comes to being an adult. He was behind the totem pole. And we learned a lot about his character. But I enjoy playing the role of Zach because Zach is so many young men. Maybe you're not dealing with recidivism or dealing with being in and out of prison, but I remember my early twenties being lost and not knowing who I was or who I was going to be. So we get a chance to watch Zach go through a coming of age story. He meets a black woman who is powerful and strong, who's able to give him empathy and have the strength to go, you know, deal with him through his trials and tribulations, which I understand for a lot of black women. Black women say, man, why we gotta deal with struggle love all the time? You know? But when I watch Sisters and I watch the team, but the one thing I say about struggle love is that struggle love is black love. You know, most of us don't come from parents who've had money.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Most of us come from a place where we have to get it from the ground up. So when I look as a team and I look at Sisters, I say, this is our story. Everything isn't happy. Everything isn't rainbows and sunshine. It's work.
Dre Nicole
I think that's why people really love it, though, because I think people can see parts of themselves and their relationships in you and Fatima's relationship on the show.
Deval Ellis
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I enjoy playing Zach.
Lex P
So you are in the Tyler Perry universe, obviously.
Deval Ellis
Yes.
Lex P
I gotta ask this because how was Yalls filming schedule? Because, you know, they be saying he filmed movies in 30 minutes.
Deval Ellis
I filmed 25 episodes in seven days.
Lex P
Bye, Tyler.
Dre Nicole
But Crystal told us that too, when she came on the show. Shout out to Crystal.
Deval Ellis
Ha. What's up, Chris? Now, I think people need to understand the business aspect of it and what Tyler is trying to create. Right. So I'll give you an example. You're a producer. You get a budget of $30 million. $30 million, right, people? That's a lot of money, right?
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Do you know how far $30 million goes on a traditional TV set, probably not that far. Five episodes, maybe six.
Lex P
Yeah, I figured that.
Deval Ellis
Maybe six.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
What Tyler has figured out is a way. But. So you're talking about anywhere between 5 to 6 million an episode. Tyler spends about 750,000 an episode.
Lex P
I love a cheap nigga.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? But here's the thing, though. With tps, I'm glad you said all of the actors. Everybody on there makes more money in that two weeks than they ever made. You see that? Yeah, but sometimes the things don't look the same. As someone who's doing an episode for two weeks, you gotta understand who's telling.
Lex P
The long as hell.
Dre Nicole
And let me ask you.
Lex P
Y'all be sitting in the living room for 30 minutes. It's the whole episode.
Deval Ellis
Who you telling? I be in the motherfuckers.
Dre Nicole
And let me ask you something.
Deval Ellis
You laughing like I don't. You ever get a scene. So let me tell y'all something.
Dre Nicole
Right? I gotta ask you.
Deval Ellis
No, let me. Let me. I'm gonna talk about this.
Lex P
Let him cook.
Deval Ellis
A scene in television is typically one page for one minute.
Lex P
Yeah.
Dre Nicole
Yes.
Deval Ellis
I get my scenes sometimes, Fatima. I'm like, this is 15 fucking pages.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
That's 15 minutes we on the same thing.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
But then you realize, I gotta make this entertaining for the viewers. If you do theater, sometimes you have a scene in the. That may be 15 minutes.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
If you are a thespian, you find a way to make what you do entertaining. If you're not a thespian and you're a person that just wants to be presented in the most beautiful way possible, and you don't want to do no work, that 15 minutes is going to be fucking hell.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And the truth is, sometimes it happens to people who act with tp. They don't know what it is. Like, the truth is, Sisters is a soap opera.
Lex P
It is.
Dre Nicole
It is.
Deval Ellis
It is a soap opera in prime time.
Dre Nicole
It is.
Deval Ellis
Which is what we don't see.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Right. Soap operas happen every single day. Sisters happens every week. So a lot of people in me be like, oh, this is slow. This is slow. When you watch soap operas every day, you're getting something every single day.
Lex P
So I get it. Never finishes, though.
Deval Ellis
I get it. And the thing is, I get it.
Dre Nicole
My sister's tolerance.
Deval Ellis
Talk about it.
Dre Nicole
He don't. Never make us wait too long. It'd be like three months in between seasons. I'll talk about it. Yeah.
Deval Ellis
See, that'd be ready.
Lex P
But I shoot 25 episodes in a week, but the six season gonna drop in a month.
Dre Nicole
I gotta ask this, do you ever get your scripts though? And you be like, no, you lying? Because Sisters is so chaotic.
Deval Ellis
Like, want me to tell the truth?
Dre Nicole
It just be like, are you kidding me? Like, when I found out that Karen was pregnant with your baby and the preacher man, I was like, and it only happens to like 1% of people. I was like, tyler Perry, be so for real, right? I just knew it wasn't gonna be your baby.
Deval Ellis
You want me to tell the truth?
Dre Nicole
Tell the truth.
Deval Ellis
Matt is over there. Matt. I'm saying I be getting a script sometimes. And I'll be like, I'm not saying none of the words that's on that page, bro. Am I lying? I'm not, but. And I had a conversation with Tyler.
Dre Nicole
Uh huh.
Deval Ellis
And I said to Tyler, I said, yo, T, man, like, come on man, what we doing? And this is how you know somebody like really knows.
Dre Nicole
And Karen been pregnant for like four seasons.
Deval Ellis
No, it hasn't been four seasons.
Dre Nicole
It's been like three.
Deval Ellis
It's been six seasons.
Dre Nicole
She been pregnant. You're not.
Deval Ellis
She was pregnant season three. No, we on season eight. Three, four, five, six, seven.
Dre Nicole
That's crazy.
Deval Ellis
Six seasons.
Dre Nicole
And see, I was giving grace. I'm talking about three seasons.
Deval Ellis
Cause you gotta understand, each episode is only the morning portion of that episode. So we watch this week, it's the morning, next week, the following week is. I'm just being honest.
Dre Nicole
I mean, that is what it is.
Deval Ellis
That's just how it is. So when you watch three weeks of television, you're like this. Three weeks of a pregnancy. No, that's one day. You've watched up that pregnancy for three weeks. You see what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
And I know she ain't gonna have a baby till next season.
Deval Ellis
Now I'm gonna tell you the genius of Tyler Perry. Because I said to him, I was like, yo, T man, you know, I think that we should. I think we should not. I went 45 minutes, I was saying, we should do this. And you know, my generation thinks and we should. And then. And he sat there and he listened, right? And he said, devalue. You done?
Dre Nicole
Ooh.
Deval Ellis
I said, yeah, I'm done. He said, you think I made over $3 billion? Accident. Ooh.
Lex P
Ate you up real bad. Sorry.
Deval Ellis
Ate me the fuck up bad. I said, no, you didn't. But he said, so listen to me, I know my audience, I write for my audience. So then I said, well, what do you mean by your audience? He says most people do content thinking, I can expand over all these different genres. I can expand for these. I write for the people who support me. And then when I thought about the people who support him, I'm thinking the Bible Belt. I'm thinking about black women between the ages of 25 to 65. And I said to myself, those women grew up watching what soap operas?
Lex P
General Hospital. Because, baby, they love tea, they love meds.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Lex P
People have a lot.
Dre Nicole
I be complaining about the seasons, but I tuned in.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying?
Lex P
But they do that. I just need to constantly complain about Tyler Perry, but every time he drops a movie, it's number one. Every time he drops Beauty and Black, it goes to number. Oh, Beauty and Black. I finished that in the day.
Deval Ellis
You want to hear?
Lex P
By the time I finished Beauty in Black, it was afternoon for y'all.
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying, Lex? I swear to God, Lex, I'mma slap this.
Lex P
My bad.
Dre Nicole
I'm sorry.
Deval Ellis
We watched the whole half of the season. It was afternoon. Now.
Dre Nicole
Erin just finished her doctor appointment.
Deval Ellis
I'll give you a contrast, and then you'll be like, oh, you know, when I get it. Fast and Furious has how many movies? Ten.
Dre Nicole
Seven.
Deval Ellis
Ten?
Lex P
Yeah, they're ten.
Dre Nicole
Oh, my bad.
Deval Ellis
They complain every time a new Fast and the Furious comes out. Right? And every time it comes out, what is it in the box office? Number one. Number one. So who cares about who complains?
Lex P
Yeah, that's true.
Deval Ellis
You can complain because you don't watch it. Or if you do watch it, why are you watching every week and complaining?
Dre Nicole
Me?
Deval Ellis
You know what I'm saying? It's like people complain about content like Fast and Furious. There's a lot of them. They watch it, people complain about it. It's number one. Tyler is a businessman. He's a content creator, and he understands that this film or this show was made for a specific group of people. It ain't made for everybody else. Who's gonna complain? I feel it's made for them. And those are the people who are typically forgotten.
Lex P
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
How many films or projects? For example, Precious. Precious was a movie that would have never, ever gotten made if it wasn't for Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry. Right? It won an Oscar. Monique won an Oscar. I think Gabourey Sidibe won an Oscar. If it wasn't for those people, Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey and Lee Daniels. Who knew that this audience would love this film? It would have never gotten made. You see what I'm saying, honestly, I.
Lex P
Will never be mad at Tyler Perry too, because I'm not an actress and I'm not in Hollywood. But I will say we've had a lot of actors and actresses sitting on the couch and they talk about how hard it is to get roles. He keeps. He keeps the people paid, bro.
Deval Ellis
I'll tell you. Go ahead.
Dre Nicole
Oh, no, I was just gonna say, and I feel like, at least for me, I be complaining because Tyler Perry don't give us that instant gratification. Like, people be wanting instant gratification. Like, I want to know what the is gonna happen. And he do not let you know right away. He gonna. He gonna. It's gonna go on for seasons and season. He be it.
Deval Ellis
Since we back on that, I like that. Since we back on that, I like that.
Dre Nicole
And he is a pro at it. But the shows are so good. Like, you can't stop watching. It's so good. So it's like you going to complain. You going to be like, come on. Like, when we going to know what the climax is? But then you can't. So I'll tell you, he's a pro with that. That's why he.
Deval Ellis
What do you say?
Dre Nicole
3 billion.
Deval Ellis
3 billion.
Dre Nicole
3 billion up.
Deval Ellis
Now, here's the thing. He won't be considered 3 billion liquid for a couple of years, but I can tell you right now, that man is worth more than $3 billion. I believe he more than $3 billion. And another thing is, I've made more money working with Tyler Perry than I ever made as a professional athlete. But I made even more money with the information he gave me. Just like 50 Cent.
Dre Nicole
Mm.
Deval Ellis
When it came time to contracts, when it came time to letting people. For example, I'll tell y'all this, as podcasters, I met with Tyler in 2019 after we did Sisters. We talked, and he gave me the story about the 9010 rule when he went to CBS, CBS had offered him his own television show. And they were just like, oh, we got writers, we got people. We gonna put. And Tyler was like, I don't need that. I'll do it. And they were like, oh, we really don't do it that way. So he walked away, went to TBS, went to TBS and got his own TV show where he got 90% and the company got 10% because he put his own money up.
Dre Nicole
Was it House of Pain?
Deval Ellis
House of Pain. And then after House of Pain came Meet the Browns, because he was super successful with my podcast. When I was first with Stitcher, they undershot me they didn't know the value of the black dollar, and they didn't know the value of black following right at stitcher. They said to me, like, hey, you know, you know, we'll give you a $50,000 bonus. You gotta get $50,000 downloads in the first six months and all this other stuff. Stuff. And I was like, I'm cool on the fifty thousand dollar bonus. And they're like, excuse me, I don't need that. Because I knew my value.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
And I was like, I don't want. I want 50 revenue share, period, everything.
Lex P
Hello.
Deval Ellis
I only notice because I had been talking to Tyler and they were just like. They were like, wait a minute. So we don't gotta give you 50, 000? I said, no, I want ownership.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
Dead Ass Podcast is mine. I want that name. And I also want. I want the ability to put it on digital content, video, and you don't own it. You know what they said? Sure, go ahead, Deval. You think you're gonna get 50,000 downloads first week of Dead Ass Podcast? Guess how many downloads? Nope. Way more than that.
Dre Nicole
More than that.
Deval Ellis
How many? Think.
Lex P
Yes, I'll say.
Deval Ellis
275,000 downloads.
Lex P
You were close.
Deval Ellis
So you know what happened with that? They had to pay me $50,000 in the first week because we had surpassed the 50,000.
Lex P
Hello.
Deval Ellis
They had to pay me that every single week, every single month, because we had the revenue share.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
But I learned that from Tyler because it's like, let them underestimate you. Let them underestimate the black value, the black dollar, black viewership. And that's what they always do to Tyler. They always underestimate black viewership. Right. And you know what Viacom does? Viacom comes and say, hey, Tyler, we'll give you this. Let's see what you do. Number one, number one. Number one, number one.
Dre Nicole
Every time.
Deval Ellis
Netflix, number one, number one everything. Amazon, number one, number one.
Lex P
I be right there. Soon as I'm on Tyler Perry with my popcorn, you see what we don't even know. I be on that. Did y'all watch this show?
Deval Ellis
You see what I'm saying? Like, he. He's. When I tell you, and whether people.
Dre Nicole
Like it or not, they still be talking. I'm a person who I just be feeling like, you know, all publicity is good publicity is always talking about it. Every time he drops something, it's the number one trending on.
Lex P
So wait, we got off topic a little bit. But talk about the new movie.
Deval Ellis
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Lex P
A Christmas movie.
Dre Nicole
I love a good Christmas and it's a rom com.
Deval Ellis
It is a rom com.
Lex P
Talk about that.
Deval Ellis
It's Meet Me Next Christmas that comes out today on Netflix starring Christina Milian, myself, and Kobe Cerebo. I'm excited about it because. And then Tyler will admit to this too. But it's outside of the Tylerverse, which means I get to do something on my own outside of that universe to show my value, not only to Tyler, but to bet, to Netflix to the people and say, hey, the Valor's are draw. So this was an opportunity for me to showcase what I can do. Christina Milan, like she's legend. Come on now.
Lex P
Dip it low, pick it up slow. Come on now.
Dre Nicole
Still number one in my household, period.
Deval Ellis
Come on now. Like this.
Lex P
That was the movie that she did with Nick Cannon.
Deval Ellis
Love don't cost the thing.
Lex P
I got Perry. That was her character's name. Perry.
Deval Ellis
Come on.
Lex P
I used to. I be like, oh, my gosh, she is just so beau. Still beautiful.
Deval Ellis
Here's the. Here's the thing. She's an even more beautiful person. Person in person.
Lex P
And she's good at rom coms.
Deval Ellis
She is.
Lex P
She's really. She has a few Netflix rom coms. I watched all of them. She do a damn rom com.
Deval Ellis
She's good. She's good.
Lex P
Yes.
Deval Ellis
So to me, this. This was like a no brainer. I want to expand myself as an artist. I want people to see me outside of the BET universe and the Tyler universe. Netflix has 300 million viewers.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Deval Ellis
So hopefully that can expand what I do. But it's fun.
Lex P
You are real thespian. To be or not to be.
Deval Ellis
That is the question, Lex. That is the question. I love y'all. Y'all.
Dre Nicole
We love you too.
Deval Ellis
Hilarious.
Dre Nicole
Such a good episode.
Lex P
Okay, so.
Dre Nicole
Hey, y'all, it's Dre Nicole, CEO of Muse Beauty. Are you ready to take your beauty brand to the next level? Well, I've got got something special just for you. I'm introducing the keys to a successful E commerce brand ebook. In this guide, I spill all of my secrets on how I built Muse Beauty from the ground up into a global beauty brand, serving thousands of customers from all over the world. From defining your brand vision to mastering marketing strategies, this book literally covers it all. Plus exclusive highlights and tips that you won't find anywhere else. But wait, y'all, it's more. Check out my curated vendors list featuring over 50 top suppliers in the beauty, fashion, and packaging industries. Whether you need cosmetics, accessories, clothing, or chic packaging, I've got you covered. So what are you waiting for? Go to www.muse beautycollection.com and get your eBook, your vendors list, or you could bundle them both together. All right, bye, y'all. So, yes, it's time to bring in the question. You know, pour your heart out. If you have any questions, you can always send them to Ask Poor minds Gmail. Gmail.com. that's a S K P O U R M I n d s.gmail.com. send us your questions, send us your testimonials. Because sometimes we be giving y'all bad advice.
Lex P
That's the fact.
Dre Nicole
Okay, so this is the question. You think you were good? You think you give good advice?
Deval Ellis
I don't. I don't think I give good advice.
Lex P
Okay.
Deval Ellis
I think that I give my perspective.
Lex P
Okay?
Deval Ellis
You can take it or leave it.
Dre Nicole
Okay?
Deval Ellis
Take it if you don't want it. Throw that motherfucker out.
Dre Nicole
All right, well, we about to get divested. Perspective.
Deval Ellis
Okay, Come on, let's get him.
Dre Nicole
I've been following you guys for about four or five years now, and I always feel in tune with you guys weekly. And I look forward to Fridays religiously. It's always so enlightening that I connect with most topics each week. I'm a Leo. I just turned 30 in July. I have an 8 year old daughter. And I just left the most stereotypical one and a half year jail relationship who wasn't her father. I met him through my friend who I've known since middle school. We always plan to be on Love After Lockup. Once he was close to a date. And now that he's.
Deval Ellis
Lexi, you wrote into the show. Lexi. What? Maya. Go ahead, Dre. I just now see.
Dre Nicole
Oh, my God.
Lex P
He see when I jumped on these.
Deval Ellis
I see you. I see you. You said like, wait a minute.
Dre Nicole
Oh, y'all about to love this next part. Y'all about to love this next part, she said. And now that he. He is home, he ended things with me saying I'm not for him. Such a blessing. I wasn't embarrassed on TV like that, lol. It felt like I was literally stabbed in the heart and I seen a future with him. I knew there was something off by intuition. And I would ask and he would say he was locked in and is with me. He sent me gifts, money, seen and talked to him daily and weekly until he didn't need me anymore and he was close to release least. I feel like I dodged a bullet. And I also feel stupid as hell. But I say this. I say this to say that this week's episode, y'all Made me feel like the show must go on and I need to focus on me way more. Lol. And there's nothing wrong with it. I love you guys. Y'all are like my big sissies, for real. And God does amazing things through YouTube also. I guess it wasn't really a question. It was a testimony. Testimony that wasn't locked in.
Lex P
The was locked up. And let me tell y'all, because I see this a lot.
Dre Nicole
I'm glad you left that alone, sis. I'm glad we helped you come to your senses, cuz.
Lex P
What?
Deval Ellis
Meeting.
Lex P
Come to your senses, but meeting a man. He was already in jail.
Dre Nicole
She said to leave that alone because God said I. He left first.
Lex P
He was like.
Dre Nicole
Which was a blessing in disguise.
Lex P
He said, all right, I'mma fuck with you.
Dre Nicole
He said, we locked in. Ain't no switching up sight.
Lex P
So how do you feel about women dating men in jail?
Dre Nicole
She said they was gonna be on love after lockup.
Lex P
Like, what are you doing?
Deval Ellis
So I'm trying not to cry. I'm trying not to cry.
Lex P
Talk about that. Lexi. A nigga don't leave me, Zach.
Deval Ellis
Oh, my God, man. So. Oh, my God. I'm trying not to cry.
Lex P
I can't.
Dre Nicole
I heard it was a very chaotic question.
Deval Ellis
I can't.
Dre Nicole
I mean, it's a chaotic episode.
Deval Ellis
She said, I was with this dude as soon as he got out. He was just like, yeah, you wait for one for me. He said, okay. So thankful. Oh, man. Wow. First thing I realize is that.
Dre Nicole
Appreciate you.
Deval Ellis
She's 30. Y'all going to hell. First thing I'm saying is y'all going to hell. Both of y'all going to hell. For you for reading that question out loud. And for you for laughing and making them jokes. And I'm trying to be serious. Trying to help this young lady.
Dre Nicole
Help out.
Deval Ellis
Help out.
Lex P
This.
Deval Ellis
The first thing I'm going. I was gonna say, she's 30. She has an 8 year old. The fact that she was dating someone in lockup that she probably hasn't met tells me that she probably has some self esteem issues. If you feel you have to just go jump to a dude that's locked up that you met through your middle school friend and you can't meet someone that's out means you don't value yourself.
Lex P
You can't meet a man that's free.
Deval Ellis
You can't meet a man that's free. I didn't say that. Lexi. I didn't say that. Why you starting Trump? I didn't say that.
Dre Nicole
Bitch, where is your Self esteem.
Deval Ellis
But I meant that. I didn't say it, but I meant that. Let Lexi say what I meant. Cause I'm not trying to get canceled. I didn't say that.
Dre Nicole
But I said.
Deval Ellis
But I said that. All right, like if a woman is like, you know, I gotta go find somebody who's locked up, I don't think her self esteem is good. I agree. I think that you dodged a bullet. I think that you have to focus on yourself and also your 8 year old child. Like you don't gotta worry about chasing men. If you a catch and you out here parenting and being the best version of yourself, the right man will come for you.
Dre Nicole
I agree.
Deval Ellis
Hopefully he'll be free.
Dre Nicole
Okay, now see, you had to get your little joke.
Lex P
You better stop.
Deval Ellis
You know what? You know what? You right.
Lex P
Let me, but let me. But let me say this to her. Let me say this to her and all women out there and even men too. When you really, truly love yourself, I'm gonna say something good.
Dre Nicole
You never know what's gonna come out.
Lex P
No, but for real, because I went through a. A time in my life, like in my early 30s where I was just like doing anything. And I say this is so.
Dre Nicole
Did you ever date somebody injured? Well, I feel like.
Deval Ellis
You'Ve never done it.
Dre Nicole
No, never. She had me.
Lex P
Never. Never.
Dre Nicole
She had me.
Lex P
She.
Deval Ellis
Like that's beneath me.
Lex P
That is.
Deval Ellis
It's something and beneath me. Now if he on trial, if he on trial or he got out, I'm with that. But in jail, not doing that. Look at Lex.
Lex P
No.
Deval Ellis
So you would date a Zach? You would date a Zach, A ex con? No, I know plenty of.
Lex P
I have.
Dre Nicole
I've dated a ex.
Deval Ellis
I know plenty of good ex cons.
Lex P
Okay, but it depends on like, what did he murder? No, no. If you can murder somebody, you might murder me.
Deval Ellis
So how about. What if I told you a stat that you didn't know?
Lex P
I don't want no stats about no murder. I watch true crime.
Deval Ellis
No, over 80% of the inmates who are in jail are in jail because they accepted a plea deal for crimes that they didn't commit.
Lex P
Okay, so 80% that 80%. But guess what? 100% can't get me. That's my statistic.
Deval Ellis
I got you last 100 chain with it. Y. I'm trying to help y'all out.
Dre Nicole
But going back to jail, like dating somebody in jail is crazy to me. Now. I have dated somebody I used to love me a reformed hood back in the day. I've changed. I've grown. But I feel like they deserve a chance, too. So I won't give you a chance.
Deval Ellis
I ain't going to lie, too, bro. I do, too. I know a lot of ex cons.
Lex P
That's why I'm saying so. Different people accept different things. But this is what I was saying. When you truly, truly love yourself, you will not accept anything beneath that. When you treat yourself well. When you love yourself, when you've done work on yourself.
Deval Ellis
Facts, that's.
Lex P
You won't even be in a situation where a man can be in jail and get out. And you felt used and abused.
Deval Ellis
I agree with her.
Dre Nicole
Yeah.
Lex P
So you have to really, if you're being honest.
Deval Ellis
Yeah, yeah.
Lex P
You gotta really. When you really love yourself and you know the value and what you bring to the table, you're not going to accept. No, I agree. And it takes a while to get there. But whether he left you or you left him or you dodged a bullet, at least you realize that now and you can do what you need to do to move forward.
Deval Ellis
I agree with that. I agree with that.
Lex P
Let me preach now.
Deval Ellis
I mean, go ahead, Lex. Go ahead.
Dre Nicole
Lex said a word.
Lex P
I don't got 3 billion, but I got $3.
Deval Ellis
Talk about it. Talk about it, Lex. You know what I'm saying?
Dre Nicole
We ain't even do the box.
Lex P
It's all right.
Dre Nicole
We gotta wrap this shit. You don't wanna do the bop? Okay, we ain't gonna do the bop. We ain't gonna do.
Lex P
Let them know what they call.
Deval Ellis
What's the bop?
Lex P
Okay, well, we'll do your bop. What's your bop?
Dre Nicole
What do you think?
Lex P
You've been jamming this week.
Deval Ellis
Oh, shit. I've been listening to Changes by Tupac. This government and this election that had me. Yeah, you know, it's had me stressed. So I've been listening to Changes by Tupac, Sugar Hill Gay.
Lex P
Why? Cause I'm old.
Deval Ellis
Lexi, I swear to God, I'm gonna fight you when this fucking camera go off. Yep. To the hip, hip, hop. How about we don't stop the rocket to the bang?
Lex P
Lex, I swear to God, we almost the same age.
Dre Nicole
I'm fucking with y'all are.
Deval Ellis
Oh, how old are you?
Lex P
I'm 35. I'm 35.
Deval Ellis
I'm right there.
Dre Nicole
I'm 33.
Deval Ellis
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all.
Dre Nicole
We ain't there.
Lex P
We up there.
Dre Nicole
Y'all right there.
Deval Ellis
They right there, too. You know what I'm saying?
Lex P
Okay, so Tupac changed. Did you ever see that video of Santana twerking and Changes?
Deval Ellis
No.
Lex P
Okay. You seen it?
Dre Nicole
He talking about. No. You seen that.
Deval Ellis
First of all, Santana is my man. I rock with Santana. We did some stuff together, but I'm not gonna watch a video with Santana.
Lex P
Well, he was swarking the chain, but he twerking.
Dre Nicole
It went viral.
Deval Ellis
Why would I watch that, though?
Lex P
I don't know. It went viral.
Dre Nicole
If I come up on your timeline, it ain't gonna not play just cause you swiped up.
Lex P
He said do.
Deval Ellis
Yeah, but you said if I watched it, I can look up and I can see Santana talking about something. Oh, that's just funny. I can look up and see Santana twerking and just swipe that motherfucker.
Lex P
That's fair.
Deval Ellis
So I didn't see him.
Dre Nicole
That's a good point.
Deval Ellis
I'm not trying to see him twerking. Work.
Lex P
That's fair.
Deval Ellis
That's just. My man. I'll take your work and I'll just be like, not Santana.
Lex P
Okay, let us know where they can find your podcast, what days it drops, where they can find you and all that good stuff.
Deval Ellis
Well, you can find me at I Am Deval on all platforms. The Dead Ass podcast. That's Dead Ass with Kadin and Deval. You can find us there. You can watch Meet Me next Christmas today, November 6th, on Netflix. Make sure you watch Six Sisters on BET and Zatima on BET.
Dre Nicole
I feel like we gotta have you back on the show. You and your wife.
Lex P
Yeah, we gotta have that.
Deval Ellis
I think she would love y'all. Cause y'all mad funny.
Lex P
We gotta have her.
Deval Ellis
I think y'all could bring the. The parts of Kadeen out that people don't know. Cause Kadina Hood Chick, she feels really. And she's so used to being like, you know, put together, and this would be fun for her.
Lex P
Yeah, y'all definitely gotta come back.
Deval Ellis
We'll definitely come back. We'll definitely.
Lex P
Thank y'all so much for tuning in. Make sure y'all subscribe to our Patreon. New episodes drop every Monday. Y'all check outmuse beauty collection dot com. All that good stuff. What else we got?
Dre Nicole
Make sure you subscribe to the channel.
Lex P
Subscribe to the channel. Tour dates are dropping. Very.
Dre Nicole
Going on tour again, 2025.
Lex P
Poor monster. We coming back on Get Money, and we'll see y'all next week.
Dre Nicole
Bye, y'all.
Lex P
Y'all make sure y'all share the content. Like, subscribe. Follow. Follow all that good stuff. And let me say this, before we close out, y'all, there is one Twitter account that is connected to Poor Minds. It's P o u r underscore. M I n D s. Y'all are tagging the wrong poor minds page. If you see at poor minds with no underscore, that is a fake page. Do not follow that page. Okay? They blocked me, Andrea and the poor mods page on both. So we only have one instance. Instagram 1. Twitter 1. Tik Tok. It is P o u r m D s. All right.
Dre Nicole
And we got hella fake Facebook pages.
Lex P
The Facebook pages, it's the our face.
Dre Nicole
The crazy thing is our Facebook page actually have the least amount of followers.
Lex P
So if you on Facebook, the one that's ours got the least amount of followers.
Dre Nicole
The one that's not us got like 250,000 followers.
Lex P
You know it's fake if you actually look at the content. Cuz the caption is like whoever it is, don't speak English. Cuz their captions are like bumba Cl. Should men. Should men pay bill? Should men pay bill? Yes. No. Check answer below.
Dre Nicole
Block, block. Like that's literally what the captions I like.
Lex P
You want that? DDG's Bomba Claw. I love that video. We ready, Javi. Got a little something, something in my bedro oh yeah, so girl, please don't be late?
Deval Ellis
There's a meeting in my There's a.
Lex P
Meeting in my bedroom so please don't make me wait? I'm not waiting, okay?
Dre Nicole
I know the answer. There's a meeting in my There's a.
Lex P
Meeting in my bedroom not the yeah.
Deval Ellis
Looking at my rolling, girl, I see it's almost tight? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Got a little something, something for my sexy no, no, no, no? I like having you around so I got to put you down? I like I said for the wrong words? I don't know what I'm saying? So be there or be square?
Lex P
There's a big sink in my bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom? So girl, please don't be late?
Deval Ellis
There's a meaning in my bedroom?
Lex P
There's a meaning in my bedroom?
Deval Ellis
So girl, don't make me wait.
Lex P
In my bed? There's a meeting in my bed, yeah.
Deval Ellis
Step into me Cay you down?
Dre Nicole
Boom, mama, he said hot no.
Lex P
Got a little something something for my sexy mama? Mama been checking for you since day one?
Deval Ellis
You're my moon and you're my sun?
Lex P
No, no, no, no, no?
Deval Ellis
Girl, you tricky and you know that I'm still a yusty low?
Lex P
So be there or be square you so girl, please don't be late, don't be late, don't be late, don't be late. Don't be late. Merrill.
Deval Ellis
Merrill.
Lex P
Merrill. Mer. Okay, you know what?
Deval Ellis
The.
Lex P
The bamboozlers. The bamboozlers. We ate that. And we'll see y'all next week.
Deval Ellis
Hey. My room. What you going to do now? What you going to do now?
Lex P
I don't know. I don't know.
Deval Ellis
Yeah. Yeah. Don't know the words. Don't care. We in my room.
Lex P
I don't.
Deval Ellis
Know.
Pour Minds Podcast Episode Summary: "You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis" (Release Date: November 15, 2024)
Hosts: Lex P and Dre Nicole
Guest: Devale Ellis
The episode kicks off with hosts Lex P and Dre Nicole warmly welcoming Devale Ellis, an accomplished author, actor, producer, award-winning podcast host, husband, father, and athlete. Their playful banter sets a relaxed and engaging tone, reflecting the show's signature "drunk therapy session" vibe.
Notable Quote:
Devale delves into his early aspirations and the pivotal role sports played in his life. Growing up in Brooklyn with a passion for the arts, he navigated a challenging environment where expressing artistic talent was often stifled by prevalent homophobia. To assert his toughness, Devale engaged in sports and Caribbean dance, specifically the "bruck up."
Notable Quotes:
Despite a successful stint in football, Devale always envisioned a future in the arts. He pursued a degree in broadcast journalism and initially worked in sports broadcasting but found it restrictive and unfulfilling. This dissatisfaction fueled his transition to podcasting, a medium that offered greater creative freedom and authenticity.
Notable Quotes:
Devale emphasizes the importance of consistency, sharing his experiences of producing content long before gaining significant traction. He recounts advice from 50 Cent, who highlighted the value of having a "catalog of content" to ensure sustained growth once a video goes viral.
Notable Quotes:
Devale shares an insightful encounter with 50 Cent, who encouraged him to continue creating content despite low initial engagement. Additionally, Devale discusses his collaboration with Tyler Perry, highlighting Perry's business acumen and the strategic decisions that led to Perry's success in television and film.
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around monogamy and relationship expectations. Devale articulates his perspective on equitable monogamy, where both partners’ needs and desires are respected and communicated openly. He addresses criticisms and backlash, emphasizing the importance of speaking one’s truth without seeking universal approval.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to the challenges of hosting a podcast, including dealing with negative feedback and cancel culture. Devale shares strategies for handling criticism, advocating for resilience and understanding that differing opinions are natural and not inherently personal attacks.
Notable Quotes:
Devale attributes much of his success to the unwavering support of his wife, Kadeem. He highlights how their partnership has been instrumental in his personal and professional growth, reinforcing the idea that a strong support system is crucial for achieving one's goals.
Notable Quotes:
Devale addresses prevalent stereotypes about Black men and relationships, discussing how societal narratives often misrepresent the dynamics within Black families. He emphasizes the importance of unity and mutual support within the Black community to combat systemic challenges.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts and Devale discuss the financial aspects of marriage, advocating for transparency and shared responsibilities. Devale shares his approach to managing finances with his wife, highlighting the balance between joint accounts and individual financial autonomy to maintain trust and respect.
Notable Quotes:
The episode delves into the influence of Black Twitter and media representation on public perceptions. Devale critiques how media narratives often overlook or misrepresent Black families and relationships, urging listeners to seek diverse perspectives and foster solidarity within the community.
Notable Quotes:
Towards the end, Devale promotes his upcoming project, "Meet Me Next Christmas," a Christmas rom-com on Netflix, and discusses his role in Tyler Perry’s "Sisters." He expresses enthusiasm about expanding his artistic repertoire beyond the Tyler Perry universe.
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with hosts promoting their products and encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast community. They invite feedback, testimonials, and participation in future discussions, reinforcing the podcast's commitment to fostering meaningful conversations.
Notable Quotes:
In "You've Been Bamboozled FT. Devale Ellis," Pour Minds Podcast offers a deep and introspective conversation with Devale Ellis, navigating his transition from sports to entertainment, the intricacies of building a successful podcast, and the complexities of monogamous relationships within the Black community. The episode underscores the significance of consistency, authenticity, and strong support systems in personal and professional growth. Devale’s candid discussions on societal stereotypes, media representation, and financial transparency provide valuable insights for listeners seeking to understand and improve their own lives and relationships.
Overall Themes:
This comprehensive discussion not only highlights Devale Ellis's multifaceted career but also offers relatable advice and powerful narratives that resonate with a diverse audience.