“Don’t You Remember Who You Are?” – Surviving and Interrupting Date Rape

In this raw and unflinching episode of the Pretty Deadly Podcast, host Susie Kahlich, founder of Pretty Deadly Self-Defense and violent crime survivor, shares three personal stories of surviving and interrupting date rape — spanning decades, cities, and stages of life. With clarity, strength, and a no-BS lens, she breaks down the manipulative patterns of coercive assault, the complexity of survivor reactions, and how martial arts and muscle memory saved her when words failed.

🔔 Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed personal accounts of sexual assault.

🎯 Key points in this episode:

Date rape survivor stories
How to stop sexual assault
Self-defense for women
Real stories of coercion and consent
Martial arts for self-defense
Personal safety for solo women
Feminist self defense podcast
Surviving date rape
Consent and coercion explained

🕒 Episode Highlights & Timecodes

00:00:18 – Why We Need to Talk About Date Rape

Susie introduces the episode and issues a clear content warning. She shares her intent: to name the unnamed and help others understand what happened to them, just as she once needed.

00:01:30 – New York, 90s: "The Nice Guy" Setup

The first assault: a guy plays the role of rescuer after a painful breakup—only to assault her in her sleep. She reflects on how the term “date rape” didn’t even exist in common vocabulary then, and how publishing her story helped others come forward.

00:05:49 – Paris, 20 Years Later: “I Couldn’t Help Myself”

Jet lagged, wine-drunk, and unconscious, Susie wakes up to a confession from a toxic partner. She explores the confusion of betrayal in relationships, and how social conditioning warps our perception of rape as flattery.

00:07:54 – Paris Again: The One She Interrupted

A consensual hookup turns threatening when the man ignores her firm “no” and pushes for non-consensual anal sex. In a split second of panic and clarity, her martial arts training kicks in. She fends him off with a tactical strike—later integrated into Pretty Deadly training as a move called The Frenchman.

00:10:42 – How Pretty Deadly Teaches This Reality

Susie shares how the real-life moves that protected her are taught in Level 3 of Pretty Deadly. It’s not just theory. It’s not just talk. It’s lived. And it’s trainable.

👊 Key Takeaways

Date rape isn’t always violent—it’s often manipulative and confusing.
Consent can’t exist without the option to say “no” and be heard.
You can interrupt assault—even mid-act—with proper training and presence of mind.
Recognizing manipulation is the first step to preventing assault.
Survivors don’t owe a perfect reaction—they owe themselves healing and truth.

✨ Learn More

→ Find classes, become a trainer, or explore Pretty Deadly’s programs: PrettyDeadlySelfDefense.com

→ Follow on IG: @TeamPrettyDeadly

→ TikTok rants, real talk, and rebellion: @PrettyDeadlyBoss

🎵 Music: Icarus Wish by Dead Centuries (Berlin)

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S9 Episode 134: Surviving Date Rape | Pretty Deadly Podcast