What is etiquette in the modern age? In this episode of Question Everything, Danielle speaks with with two modern etiquette authorities: Elaine Swann, the expert the New York Times calls “The Emily Post of the Digital Age,” and Sarah Jane Ho, Netflix host and host of the Mind Your Manners podcast, as well as an Eastern wellness expert. Together, they unpack how we have lost decorum, what’s actually going on with our social skills, and why “just be yourself” might be the worst advice we’ve ever normalized. From dating, weddings, and group chats to social media, power, and belonging, this conversation is a sharp, funny, and deeply human look at how to move through the world with more confidence, clarity, and grace. In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why etiquette isn’t dead—but why it feels more confusing than ever
Have we lost decorum?! And why?
Why “just be yourself” became bad advice in a socially complex world
Solution to our social skills feel rusty after the pandemic and life online
How social media and digital life changed the rules of behavior
The hidden rules of modern dating
What’s actually considered rude now
The wedding etiquette arms race and what couples really owe their guests
Who pays the biggest social price for bad manners (and why)
The difference between being polite and being a pushover
How to set boundaries, tell the truth, and still be gracious
The small habits that make people feel respected, comfortable, and at ease

Book Links (via Bookshop.org — always support independent bookstores):

Elaine Swann’s Book of Modern Etiquette by Elaine Swann

Follow the Guests:

Sara Jane Ho — Instagram, TikTok

Elaine Swann — Instagram, TikTok

Learn More:

Elaine Swann’s Etiquette School: The Swann School of Protocol

Sara Jane Ho’s Personal Care Brand: Antevorta

Book Recommendations

Book recommendation from Sara Jane Ho: Manifest Now By IDIL Ahmed

Book recommendation from Elaine Swann: Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Social Rules Everyone Broke (And Why We’re All So Awkward Now)