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- [00:00]
Pastor James Cadiz
Sa.
- [07:58]
Erica Kirk
Hey, everyone. Welcome to our April Bible in 365 live Q& A. It's been a long time since I've been in the studio to do this, but I am honored and blessed to have not only Pastor James Cadiz, our pastoral advisor for Bible in365, but also the amazing Pastor Greg Denham from San Marcos Rise Church. Well, Rise Church in San Marcos. So we're blessed to have both of you guys with us today. It means the world. But it's. I have to say, it's been really humbling and sweet to have The Bible and 365 family just rally around myself. My children, your prayers have meant everything to me, as I know everyone has their own cross to bury, to carry. But I just am grateful for all of you guys and for both of you for being in my life and pouring into me and reading scripture over me and just, you know, being a voice in my life that helps always point me back to Christ. So I'm grateful for both of you and I'm honored that our Bible and 365 family gets to hear from you guys today for our, for our Q and A. But it's. It's good to see you both. Pastor James, we miss you.
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Pastor Greg Denham
Yeah.
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Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah. I very, very much miss doing this with you. I have to just say this, Erica, and my wife would not mind me saying this, but you are just absolutely glowing and beautiful and I think the beauty from what God is doing inside of you. And I think I joined Greg in saying we're incredibly proud of you. You've just been handling yourself in a way that's just been absolutely incredible and what a testimony you've been of God's goodness. And we're just blessed to be able to do this and thankful for what God is doing in you and through you. And I can tell you the best is yet to come. And we're super excited about that.
- [09:58]
Erica Kirk
Yeah. And Pastor Greg, we had a minute this morning to catch up, and he was pouring into me about the importance of understanding fearing God versus fearing other things in life. Once you fear God, all the other fears in life disappear, so.
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Pastor James Cadiz
That's right.
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Pastor Greg Denham
Well, Erica, it's a huge honor to be here and we love you so much and are so proud of you.
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Erica Kirk
Thank you.
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Pastor Greg Denham
You're an exceptional, beautiful, godly, virtuous woman and an extraordinary witness to not only women, but men all throughout the world. And I just want to quickly say it is such an honor to be here. And I'm thinking of our precious Charlie, the Most beautiful soul. He's with the Lord and we terribly, terribly miss him. And words are really not enough. And I know he's so proud of you. And so thank you for your leadership. Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. Thank you for embodying that and impacting this generation. And if the Lord are to tarry, the reality is this is going to impact future generations. So we're doing something super important here, that's for sure.
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Erica Kirk
Amen. Okay, so Pastor James, I'll have you lead us in opening prayer and then we are going to dive right into. We have thousands of questions, so we only have two hours to do this, so we're not going to get through every one of them, unfortunately. We're going to try our best, but we are going to just plow through the ones that we can. I do want to tag into lifestyle questions and then the ones that are scripture based, we'll try to touch into those. But then also I want to remind you guys to go to Pastor James Cadiz's website and you can look up a certain word in the search bar area and, and there you can find, like, literally you can type in Genesis chapter one and all of his sermons dealing with that will pop up in there. So I really encourage you guys, if you have any questions, to really just scour his website. It's full of wisdom and it's very, very helpful. So without further ado, Pastor James, you want to lead us into prayer and we'll dive right in?
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Pastor James Cadiz
You bet. Let's do it. Father in heaven. We're just so thankful, Father, for the opportunity that you've given us to come to you and to answer these very important questions, Lord, as we gather together with your people that love you, people that desire to want to glorify you and live for you. And we thank you, Lord, for the legacy that's been left for us, Lord, by the life of Charlie Kirk. Lord, we thank you, Lord, for Erica's life. We thank you for the life of her children and all of the Kirks. Lord, we pray, God, that you would bless the ministry of Turning Point USA and all of the auxiliaries that come from it. And, Lord, we pray for this Q A session that you'd be glorified in and through it, Lord, that your name would be honored, that you'd give us wisdom, put the words in our mouth, Lord, that you want us to share and overwhelm us with insight, to be able to answer these things the way that you would have us to. So, Lord, we love you and thank you. We look to you and we ask these things. Now. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
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Pastor Greg Denham
Amen. Beautiful men.
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Erica Kirk
All right, let's jump right into this. Let me see. I have. Where is my beautiful Caitlin's message? Okay, so the first question is from Becca. She said, I am. I'm first believer of my family. My grandparents were not believers. My parents are not believers. My husband is not a believer. I was saved last September through Charlie. God bless you. A core theme that has been mentioned time and time again is the hope that we have as believers and that we do not grieve the way the world grieves. But this is not the case for me. All I can see is a future where I'm separated from my loved ones. I know that God can do anything. And so I am praying for my family's salvation. But I often struggle to find hope. Do you have any advice, Pastor James? I'll have you start, and then, Pastor Greg, I'll have you. You chime in.
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Pastor Greg Denham
Okay.
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Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah. This is. This is a really big deal. And first of all, let me just simply say this. Your grief and your concern is actually the reflection of a heart that's actually healthy. And perhaps one of the best pictures that I can draw from this is the Apostle Paul, who had the same kind of burden for his own simple. Specifically, in Romans, chapter nine, he says that I have a heaviness and a continual sorrow in my heart. That was the term that he used. And he even goes as far as to say that I wish that myself was accursed from Christ for my brethren, literally my kinsman in the flesh. Now, of course, he's talking about Israel, but he had a very, very heavy burden. Paul had a constant sorrow over those who didn't know the Lord. And this is something that was a big deal for him. It was a major, major issue. It meant that he had a deep love. It didn't mean that he lacked faith by any stretch of the imagination. So you need to understand this, right? Your grief does not mean that something is wrong with you. It shows that you care deeply about the eternal condition of your family. And that's a critically important thing to do. I mean, understand this. We. We don't grieve like the world, okay? It does not mean that we don't grieve at all. And I think that that's kind of an important thing. First Thessalonians. I. I can't help but to. To think about that passage where. Where the Apostle Paul says this. He says, but I would have you to. I would, but I would not have you to be ignorant. Brethren, according to them which are asleep, that you sorrow not even as others which have no hope. But I want you to notice carefully what it says here. He says, he's not saying that we don't sorrow at all. He says that we don't sorrow as those that have no hope. So you can have plenty of sorrow in your heart concerning those things. But keep this in mind. Right now, your loved ones are still alive, okay? And that's. That's a huge blessing. So that means there's still opportunity, there's still tons of time. And perhaps the most consequential and significant aspect of this is that there's still hope. And I think that that's really important. And one thing that I want to cover this with is for you to understand the fact that God says it very clearly through Peter, Second Peter, chapter three. And the context here is the end times. He's talking about what's going to happen in the last day. And he says this. He makes this very clear. He says, the Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness, but is a long suffering toward us. Notice this. Not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. So you. You're seeing a possible future here. You know, this is. This is very, very important. And God sees the full story, and that's it. I think that's the thing that you have to understand. So God will specifically use you. And you need to understand that you're the light, you're the person that he's going to use. And it doesn't mean that you save them, right? It just means that you live as the powerful instrument that God wants you to live. And your role is faithfulness. Your role is not to control the situation. Your role is basically to exhume the peace that God has given you. You can't force salvation. You can't change your heart, you can't change their hearts. And I think that that's kind of an important thing to keep in mind. But here's the thing that you can do. You can pray consistently.
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Erica Kirk
That's.
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Pastor James Cadiz
That's critical, right? You can live a godly life in front of them and behind them, right? I mean, you, you can live a consistent life. And the other thing that's really critical here is that you can speak truth when God opens the door. And I think that that's the, that's the picture. And Paul makes that Very clear. He says, look, I've planted, talking about Apollos, if you remember the whole story, because of the division that existed between Paul and Apollos and all that, he says, look, I've planted the seed. Apollos watered, but what does he say? God gave the increase. So it takes the pressure off of you. And remember this, your hope will never be in outcomes. It can never be in an outcome. It has to be in God's character. Because if your hope is like, what will happen to my family, it's going to feel very unstable. But if your hope is tied to the goodness of God, the justice of God, the mercy of God, his perfect wisdom, then you can rest in the foundation that that creates. In other words, you. You can. You can trust in the fact that you're in God's hands. The situation is in God's hands, and you never have to worry about it. So here's the thing, okay? This is how you. This is how you walk. Continue to move in this time and in this day. You got to keep praying for each of your family members. Do it by name. It's a. It's a practical thing. I do it on a regular basis. Ask God for specific opportunities to speak to them. Look, you'd be surprised with how awesome of a prayer that is and how quickly God can answer that prayer and live in a way that makes Christ visible. Don't let your fear steal your joy. By any stretch of the imagination, God has given you joy. That joy is in your salvation. And remember that the salvation that God has given you is something that took a little bit of time. So don't give up while there's still breath. You grieve because you love them. Of course you hope because quite frankly, God is still working. And he's going to continue to work even when you can't see him work. And here's the big thing, right? You trust because God is faithful. And it was that trust that brought your salvation. And it's that trust that can bring other people's salvation. So as long as your family is alive, their story is not over. And even when they pass away, you have hope because you don't know what happened. You don't know what happened at the last minute with their heart and. And what happened. But there's a lot of hope here, Becca. And in my prayer is that you'll find peace in knowing the facts. Remind yourself of those things, and just know that God wants them to have salvation way more than you ever will. And that there's a lot of hope in that there's a lot of rest and peace you can find just in that fact alone.
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Pastor Greg Denham
Oh, that's beautiful. I mean, I just want to add something really quick. I love what you just said at the very end there. I loved every. I love every thing you said. But, I mean, Becca, just remember, the Lord really loves your loved ones. Really loves them. I mean, as. As James, I may say Yakov, just out of the German, because actually in Hebrew, his name is Jake. Okay. But I'm going to keep it, James. I mean, the Lord really loves, you know, your loved ones more than all of our love put together. So we need to remember that. And also just. I'm just thinking of the, you know, the two thieves on the cross. They both initially mocked Jesus, which is insane, right? But one of them turned at the last minute. Acknowledge him for who he is, acknowledge his own guilt. And, you know, Jesus gave the assurance that he's going to be with him in paradise on a drop of a dime. Salvation is a gift we're going to be talking about a little bit later. All the more. But it's a gift that that is received. You know, as I mentioned, on a drop of a dime, a person becomes a Christian. Like it's a gift, right? We receive. So my point is, is that your loved ones are not out of his reach. We don't even understand the significance of our life until all the chips are in. So keep your eyes on the Lord. Live for him. Keep praying. And I'm believing that your loved ones are going to come to know him. I just want to. Last thing real quick. My dad, who I love so much, he's in heaven, and he went to heaven. He was 94. He's the best man at my wedding. But look, he has three sons, all of which are pastors. His whole family are Christians. But he didn't come to faith in the Lord Jesus till about nine months before he went to heaven. So it's not too late. I'm so proud of you to have that burden. Let's just trust the Lord's gonna reach him, because I believe he is.
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Erica Kirk
Amen. Amen. Our next question's from Susan. How will I know when God is speaking to me? I feel sad that I have to ask this question. I'm disabled and homebound since my husband's death a decade ago, and I am clueless as to what the great Lord wants me to be or do.
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Pastor James Cadiz
Okay, so this is. This is a heavy question, and it's one that a lot of people actually ask. And it's it's critical, first and foremost, you, you should feel sad if you don't ask questions like this. I think the imposition of these questions actually serve as a functional demonstration of the fact that you are willing to move forward and you're willing to discern and understand and know exactly what's in front of you. And the one thing that I would tell you, and it's like, very, very critical that you see this and that you. Is that you kind of already know what to do. And I can give you an example of this because I know so many people get caught up in the well, what is God's will for me? What does God want me to do? And we miss this because what we, what we do is we spend so much time looking at what we don't have that we completely lose sight of what we do have. And so, you know, we, we oftentimes get focused on, well, what is God telling me? And we don't know. We, we think, we don't have any idea as into what God's will is, but God's already told us what his will is. And, and here' thing that I that God has already made clear. He wants you to grow in your relationship with him. He wants you to pray. He wants you to love others. He wants you to speak truth when you have the opportunity. I can't help but to think of the passage in Micah. You know, the declaration is clear. You know, he's shown me what is good and what the Lord doth require of me. And look, what he says, he says, but to do justly, okay, to love mercy and to walk humbly with God. So you don't need to discover what it is that God has for you. You just need to simply do these things. Now, on a practical level, how do you move forward? Because there's many different ways that God speaks to us. Jeremiah heard an inclination that God was speaking to him. And then he in essence put out a fleece in a way, went out and said, okay, Lord, if this is your will, then you will send my relative down so that I can go by the field. And that's exactly what happened. God's God manifests himself in many, many different ways. So here's how you move forward. Instead of waiting for a clear voice or what you think a clear voice may be, try this. Spend some time in the Bible daily, okay? Even if it's a little bit, spend some time to clarify God's voice through his word. Talk to God honestly in prayer. Don't go to the Lord and say, well, Lord, I. You know, where you sort of formalize the prayer and, and you kind of do what some people do and don't do any of that nonsense, right? Literally go to God and speak to him like I'm speaking to you. Talk to him like you would talk to any friend. Ask him to guide you, to guide your thoughts, to guide your decisions. And be faithful in the small things. As small little opportunities come up, just do the things that he puts in front of you. And what's going to happen is this. You're going to recognize the very things that begin to align with God's purposes and what doesn't. And that's how you actually learn to hear his voice. So I think this is important because when you talk about the loss and the isolation that you feel, that is super, super critical. And it's not something that I sort of want to walk away from. But just understand this, okay? Even during the times when you feel uncertain or forgotten or like you have no direction, understand what the truth is. Proclaim the truth to yourself. God even says it, I will never leave you or forsake you. So he's still present in your life. He's still working with you. And he's always going to be guid, guiding you. So you don't need to hear a loud voice like mine to know that God is speaking. Just understand that he speaks very clearly through His Word. He leads very quietly and he's faithful, he's consistent. Okay? And he is already working in your life. That's the thing that I think needs to be understood. And speaking to the subject of being in a condition where you tend to be homebound or you have some disabilities. Look, I have some significant physical ailments that I have to deal with on a day to day basis. But I refuse to allow those things to keep me from doing what I can with what I have. So recognize what you have around you and take full advantage of the opportunity God has given you. And he will bring clarity to your mind as you begin to pursue that with more depth and more understanding. And you'll be shocked to find out just how much God will bless you with that endeavor.
- [26:31]
Pastor Greg Denham
James, that's excellent. I would just add that the Lord always gives us enough light for the next step. So it's like, okay, what is the will of God? Well, I mean, just think about it like the first commandment is to love him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. It's relational, right? And then on a horizontal level, it's like, okay, I'm to love my neighbor as myself. So just think, okay, I mean what is God's will for my life? Well, it's to have a heart for the Lord, write allegiance, relational right alignment and then to spill over on the horizontal level to love my neighbor as myself, value my fellow man. So, so it's like, like the will of God has less to do with location, where I live or what kind of color car I buy. It has all to do with who we are as individuals. We're to be holy, we're to live, we're to live lives pleasing to God. So, so, so therefore is okay, like what's next steps? He always wants us to love him, love others, trust him, make him known. I think that's, that's akin to what James was just saying. So that has always helped me. Always. I was like, oh Lord, what I gotta do or what is yous will always gives us enough light for the next step.
- [27:45]
Erica Kirk
Yeah, that's beautiful. Our next question is from William. This Bible in 365 program has changed how I view Christianity and can already feel it changing my life for the better. The biblical concept of marriage roles has really opened my eyes to a better way to think about how my wife and I can, how my wife and I complement each other instead of worrying about competing and fulfilling our own needs every day. My wife and I both grew up Catholic, got married in a Catholic church, but so far the spiritual awakening has been more one sided over the past few months. I think that's meaning he feels it more than she does. How can I get her to adopt these marriage expectations that can be very different from societal norms and, and or how her parents were growing up? We have always had a bumpy marriage more than the norm. I believe, and I'm convicted that embracing God's perfect vision would help us tremendously. I'm just not sure she is ready to buy in. What can I do to help her see how this mindset could help us lead a happier, healthier marriage not just for us, but our kids. I have to tell you, like all three of us know exactly what it's like to have the Most beautiful. Ephesians 5 Marriage that does not. Yeah, that forget about the denomination that you're a part of just being in God's word and understanding the beauty of having your husband lead your family and as a wife be the guardian of your home is so powerful. And knowing that as long as your husband, the head of the household is, is so focused and serving the Lord, you. In fact, when you come under him of that, of that head, of. It's. It's beautiful, it's powerful. It's a beautiful way of how the marriage is supposed to be. What are your guys thoughts on that?
- [29:27]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah. So, Erica, I'm sure you won't mind me taking this liberty, because the reality
- [29:33]
Erica Kirk
of it is I love my husband so much. I mean, we had such a good marriage. I've been obsessed with my husband. He's everything to me. And our marriage was just perfect. It was perfect. And you know, we're not perfect beings, but our marriage in my eyes, was perfect because we serve the Lord. And we had that fire at the altar that's never burned out. And he was such a good man of making sure that he always asked, how can I serve you? And I said, how can I serve you? And we were just always having that servant heart mentality of like, our marriage is so important because it's glorifying God and it's glorifying, you know, what he put us on earth to do and porn to our children. But, yeah, go ahead, Pastor. Pastor.
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Pastor Greg Denham
That's beautiful.
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Erica Kirk
I know.
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Pastor Greg Denham
I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it.
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Pastor James Cadiz
I know you won't mind me taking the liberty, but the reality of it is is there's probably nobody, maybe, maybe a few, I don't know, but there's nobody that I know of that is as privy to your marriage as me.
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Erica Kirk
Right.
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Pastor James Cadiz
Just because of the position that God has allowed me to be in with the two of you. And your. Your marriage was remarkable. Not remarkable in the fact that, like, you know, I think everybody thinks that when you say that you had the perfect marriage, that that means that there was never a disagreement, there was never an issue. No, it. It was a beautiful marriage because God ordained it from the beginning. I had the opportunity to know you guys, to know where you were before you got married and to see the times that led you into that marriage and then to see what that marriage brought. And one of the things that I absolutely loved about Charlie was when I would sit with him and I would talk to him about these things, about anything. He was a sponge. Like, literally you could tell him something and he. He bought it hook, line and sinker. And I always used to tell him this. I would say, beware. Beware of who you are as a husband. And because what you do can either ruin your wife or it can completely bless your wife. And he always knew that. That's why he loved you so much. It's why he wrote you all of These little letters and I know I'm taking the liberty. He made these funny little post it pads and all these things. It was that some of them, some of the things that he said, it was like, good, good, good on you, Charlie. And one of the things that I always used to tell him, and it was something he used to tell me, it's, we are the husbands in our relationship. The responsibility that we have as husbands is to love our wives like Christ loves the church. That means we don't place conditions on our actions. That means we have to learn how to love God more than we love our own wife. And what our wife becomes is what we actually created. And I think that that's, that's such an important picture. And, and by the way, I think that anybody that's willing to be honest about looking at a, a marriage situation, a marital situation, when it's ideal, the ideal that happens that's defined by God is in the modeling that's created by the husband. The husband is given this opportunity to do so. So the idea here where you, where William, you talk about the fact that you're ahead in the sense that your wife hasn't bought in on it yet. Just show her your transformation. That's the only thing you need to be worried about. You need to show her your transformation. And as you begin to show her your transformation, you will bring her in to not only that loving relationship with you, but more importantly, the loving relationship with the Lord. And all it's going to do is, is take time where you are consistently pursuing the Lord. She's going to watch you, she's going to fall in love with what she sees, and it's going to bring her back to this place of wanting more. And I can tell you this because I watch this with my own wife. I see it, saw it all the time with Erica and still see it to this very day, definitely with Stephanie, which for those of you that don't know Steph is, is Greg's wife. But our wives oftentimes look to us, even in many cases somewhat heroically because they watched us go forward before them, to be the model that God expected us to be. And the idea here is that when you do that, when men do that, you create that condition. And I, and I want to say this because I think it's so sad that we live in a world like this today. You know, when a woman says, I love my, my husband, okay? Especially after a traumatic situation like the one that we saw with, with Charlie and Erica. It's hilarious to Me, it's actually, it's despicable how they will look at a woman saying, I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband, and thinking that that's suspect. But the overwhelming majority of the time you see something like that happening is because they never experienced what it. What it looks like to have a husband that led with his love for the Lord. When a man denies himself in loving God with his whole heart, he creates the kind of condition that you see in my Nicole or in Charlie's Erica or in Greg Stephanie. And I think that that's the thing that is, like, very difficult for people to understand. It's a super natural process. So this is going to take some faith on your end, right? This is going to be you just giving yourself to become the best man that you can possibly be so that you can build into your wife something very special. By the way, that's the whole reason why Charlie actually started honoring the Sabbath. It was part of an obligation that he knew he had to become the best man that he could be for his wife so that that would trickle down not only to his wife, but to his children and then eventually the ministry of Turning Point and all the other things that was going on. And I, And I don't mind talking in terms of Charlie's relationship with Erica because it was such a great example, just like what I've seen with Greg. And I'm very thankful for what I have with my wife. But speaking from man to man, me, James to you, William, my great encouragement to you was to be. Is to be the example that Christ is to the church you lead your wife. And I promise you, your wife will begin to say the things that you hear Erica saying about Charlie or that you would hear Steph saying about Greg or my precious Nicole about me. And I think that that's really, really important. You lead by example, and that example creates tons of fruit.
- [36:29]
Pastor Greg Denham
Yeah, yeah. Will you. Can I just say something real quick like I'm a man, you're a man, right. What a gift to be married. What a gift. Not a more beautiful, intimate relationship on planet earth that a husband and wife experiences. Look impossible actually to love your wife as Jesus Christ loved the church without actually growing in relationship with him. And I want to encourage. I want to encourage. I mean, James said this. Sorry if I say Yaakov, but James said it perfectly. But I'll just tell you what's been helpful to me, and I'll be quick, is Paul gave Timothy this phenomenal progress plan of how to grow as A man. And that's where you want to. That's where your focus wants to be. Like, you want to go vertical, Lord, like teach me. Be a good listener. Grow in your own relationship with the Lord's going to spill over, impacting your. Your precious wife. But I just want to direct you to first Timothy, chapter four, verse 12, down to verse 16, which Paul essentially saying, look, you got to be intentional to add godly character. You want to give attention to the word of God, activate your gifts, stir them up and give yourself entirely to these things. So we don't have time to address it, but I really want you to read this. This has been huge for me as a man because let me just say two things about love. We are called to love our wives practically. It's not a sentiment, it's an action. We're to protect them, we're to provide for them. Think about it. No one knows. I mean your wife, my precious wife is Stephanie. No one knows Stephanie. I'll just speak for myself. Like the Lord knows her more than me, but no one knows her on a human level like I know her. And the Lord has called me to love her. So that means, like I love her. She is beautiful, like really beautiful and virtuous. She's virtue embodied. But I don't love her because she's beautiful. I love her to make her beautiful. Right? That's that unconditional love. So James was just perfectly right on here. I would just encourage you, you know, you just keep following Jesus, grow in him. It's been huge for me. First Timothy 4, 12, 16. I'm not kidding you. Man to man here, like this has been a vision that Paul gave Timothy for a progress plan in his life that he continues to keep growing as a man. That's huge and I'm just proud of you to ask this question. I believe great things are store for you and may the Lord richly bless you and your precious wife. And if you were to tarry future generations.
- [39:04]
Erica Kirk
Amen. Our next question is from Journey. My husband is not a believer. He remains skeptical of Christianity and carries a lot of resentment toward the church due to his upbringing and experiences with religious hypocris. When I've tried to have conversations about faith, he hasn't received them well. So I've felt it's better to step back and allow God to work in his life. In his own timing. Our marriage has been rocky and I'm actively working on repairing it while also raising three children and running a business. My husband has expressed frustration when I go to church on Sundays because it leaves him home with the kids again. Our children refuse to go, and he becomes upset if I try to make them, as he doesn't want church forced on them. Given all of this, would choosing to live stream church instead of attending in person be the wrong decision? I love Jesus, and I'm absolutely torn on this because I. My hope is that they would allow. My hope is that this would allow my husband to feel seen and honored until he is in a place where he can accept Jesus. I worry that I will continue to turn him off of having a relationship with Jesus if I make going to church a priority over everything else that is falling apart.
- [40:07]
Pastor James Cadiz
Whew. That's a very, very heartfelt question and one that we have to like for a moment, just heavily addressed. But there's. There's a few things that I want to just clear, clearly point out here that I think are really important. Okay. Number one, what you're describing is undoubtedly not compromise by any stretch of the imagination. It is definitely what I would call a burden that is further extenuated by a heart of wisdom. And I don't think that that is wrong. I think that it's clear. Your commitment to Christ is clear because of that commitment. You're concerned with your husband's soul. You're definitely trying to preserve your marriage, and you're caring for your children. All of those things very much matter. Because if you look at what Peter says, he says, look, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word, that they also may be without the word be won by. I forgot the exact words. I think it's the conversation of the wives, I think, is the exact terminology there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The conduct, the conversation. And so while they behold your. Your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Now, that's important because the idea here is if any obey not the word, refers to an unbelieving husband, that's what we're talking about here. And they may be one without a constant verbal pressure. In other words, you. You don't want to be what people would call a nagging wife. And it's through your conduct. It's not through force, which, by the way, speaks clearly and vividly and very loudly. So you're already thinking in a very biblical direction. And they want to acknowledge that, okay, you're not called to force spiritual things on your husband or your children. That's not the responsibility. Okay? So forcing church attendance, forcing conversations, spiritual decisions, is a. Is a huge mistake. It can lead to hearts, actually Being hardened rather than softened. And I'm very careful how I say that because your instinct to step back and let God work is wise. But I have to nuance that it's, it's. I have to be careful how I say that because again, the proverbs tell us that by long forbearance or by, by long patience is a prince persuaded. So, so the idea here is that the soft tongue literally has the ability to break a bone. And, and there's, there's wisdom in that. Meaning our patience will put into effect the gentleness that creates the powerful condition that pressure cannot do. Like you can't fix it with pressure. So the Bible does tell us that. And, and, and I think that's important. However. Okay, I have to say this. Church attendance is important. Okay, it is. The Bible tells us not to discourage fellowship, but it's not meant to destroy your home. And that, like this is such a hard picture for me to be able to draw without some people getting upset. Okay, The Bible tells us in Hebrews chapter 10, referring to the end times, by the way, not to fellowship the four, or not to forsake the assembling of ourselves with one another as the manner of some have. But you have to keep in mind there is. Look, let me just say this. The gathering with believers is important. It matters, it's critical. But we have to balance that with one very understanding. And that is God will never call you to pursue one good thing in a way that completely destroys another responsibility that he has given you. So your marriage is also a God given responsibility. And in your situation, live streaming is not going to be wrong. Now don't, don't get me wrong. I think that we, we hope that that will change. And I think that allowing your husband to see you walking in that kind of submission will also open up his heart for you to be able to spend more time in fellowship with believers. And you have to figure out a way to create that fellowship with believers. But given everything that you've described, you've got an unbelieving, obviously a resistant husband, there's tension in the marriage. You've got children that are caught in the middle of the. Your house is already under strain. So choosing to live stream for a season, that's the operative word I think, is actually not just wise, but it could be very loving and strategic. And I'm not telling you by any stretch of the imagination that this is you abandoning your faith. It actually may be you living out your faith effectively in your home. Your husband has to feel honored and not competed against. And right now he likely feels, and I could be wrong, but I counsel people all the time in situations like this. He likely feels second place to the church, right? He's probably frustrated because of his past experiences and quite frankly, he may even be threatened by it. So when you choose to be present, when you choose to show consideration, when you choose to reduce tension, by doing this, you're actually demonstrating Christ in a way that he can actually receive. And that's the idea, right? Because Ephesians chapter 5 says it, that the wife is to show reverence to her husband. So respect and honor go a very long way, especially when you're dealing with the skeptical heart. Now I want to say this because this is important because I know you probably are going to have doubts in your mind over this. Prioritizing Christ without. You can still prioritize Christ without creating unnecessary conflict, okay? Live streaming doesn't mean that you're lowering your commitment to the Lord. It doesn't mean you're compromising your beliefs. It actually means that you're being wise about how you choose to live out those beliefs. So you can still spend time in the Word, you can still pray, you can still grow spiritually, and you can clearly model Christ in your home and every now and then have fellowship with people as long as your husband is okay outside of the context of the organized religion that he despises. So again, you have to ask yourself this question. What gives my husband the greatest chance of eventually coming to Christ as it relates to my actions? So in many cases it's not winning arguments. That's not going to be the answer. It's not going to be forcing church attendance. What it's going to be is seeing a very consistent love, observing a real change in you, which I guarantee you he's already seen, and experiencing peace instead of pressure, nagging wives. And I don't mean to sound derogatory. Don't fix problems, okay? So I think that you're, you're being wise here. You're, you're looking to find an opportunity to soften your husband's heart and that your children to be open and that opportunities will increase. But there's one important caution I want to throw out and I think it's really important to say this, okay? Make sure you do whatever it takes to know for a fact this is a faith driven decision. I don't want you doing this because you're filled with fear, you're backed in a corner and feel like you have no other choice. Okay? It has to be you saying you're not avoiding church because you're afraid. It has to be you saying you're choosing a different approach because you're being wise and you're being led by the Lord. That will help you keep your walk with the Lord strong and very intentional. The bottom line is choosing to live stream here is, is, is, is not wrong. But don't be motivated by the fear that would drive you to do it. Be motivated by an understanding that God has called you to do it and just recognize it. In fact, it may be the most loving choice for your husband and probably the most stabilizing decision you're going to make for your home. I'm not you, I'm not living in your home. But it probably is a very strategic choice, for lack of a better term, for some kind of a long term spiritual impact. So continue to do these things. Continue to love your husband well. Continue to walk closely with the Lord. That's a critical one. Right? And continue to trust that God will work in your husband's heart in ways that you cannot control. And God will do an amazing thing. He's capable of reaching out to your husband and I think he will do so as you continue to remain faithful. Your husband's, by the way, going to see it, he's going to honor you for it, and he's going to give the leverage that you need to be able to do what you need to do to grow. Because he's going to realize eventually that a godly wife is a benefit to him and not a curse, even if he's not walking with the Lord.
- [48:24]
Pastor Greg Denham
James, I agree 1000%. Like 10 seconds. I'll just say this. You know, it may be good to just reach out to your pastor and tell him this is the season I meant. And I appreciate your prayers. And look, it's not like you have to jump through these hoops. They're not really hoops. Right. But I think that's wise. But number two, because we are to be a part of a local ecclesia or assembly, that does matter. James mentioned that clearly. I mean, I would just encourage you. Carry a sister on your heart, Pray for the church, pray for your local church, Remain connected there on a practical level. But James, just as far as I'm concerned, nailed it. And look, we stand with you. I mean, God bless you. You're a godly woman and I'm convinced the Lord's going to bless you.
- [49:18]
Erica Kirk
Yeah, I was going to hop to a scripture question, but Kate and I decided to because we were Going to go hop back and forth, but let's do this next lifestyle question. It's from Lori. I was told by a church pastor teacher that Satan entered my mother's womb and caused the physical birth defects that I was born with. I really don't think that Satan has that kind of power. What do you say about this? I know that God knits all of us together while we are being formed in our mother's womb.
- [49:47]
Pastor Greg Denham
Yeah, yeah. So can I say something real quick?
- [49:50]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah, yeah.
- [49:51]
Pastor Greg Denham
Let me just say real quick. I mean, when it comes to spiritual warfare, I'm jumping in. James, I'm seeing you on the screen.
- [49:57]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah.
- [49:57]
Pastor Greg Denham
No, please, just let me say real quick that, that look, when it comes to understanding, like the darkness behind the darkness, because there is a darkness behind the darkness. We're talking about, you know, is there a Satan? Are there demons? Are there unseen personalities? Because evil is more than something that's abstract. Okay, look, the strategy is either going to be lull us to sleep as if there is no spiritual warfare and influence, which is a big mistake, or actually to tip us to the other side and see like the devil behind every flickering light or every moving bush. Okay, so the truth is somewhere in the middle. So you mentioned Satan and things, and there is a Satan. I don't believe he's in the room. There are demons, there's a hierarchy and so forth and so on. But look, the idea that Satan somehow got into the womb and, and affected the, the genetics is, Is not accurate whatsoever. And we live in a fallen world. We live in a broken world. That's why the. Our wonderful father sent his son to bring a regeneration. So there's no, there's no perfect families, there's no perfect genetics, there's no, there's no perfect human being. So I just wanted to give that, that perspective. So the answer is that what your friend said, or whoever said it is, is not accurate. And, and thank. And thank the Lord. We're just celebrating resurrection. The resurrection not only tells us that Jesus is the Son of God, but it's a demonstration. He's making all things new, that we too are going to be resurrected and whole and ruling and reigning with him. Yaakov. James.
- [51:42]
Pastor James Cadiz
Okay. And I think I have to tackle this head on with a very, very direct set of statements that I think are critical because this pastor basically told you something pretty evil. Okay, let me just simply say, was
- [51:57]
Pastor Greg Denham
it a pastor that said that?
- [51:58]
Erica Kirk
Yeah, it was a pastor.
- [51:58]
Pastor James Cadiz
It was a pastor. It was a pastor. So let me just.
- [52:01]
Pastor Greg Denham
Okay. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- [52:03]
Pastor James Cadiz
Sorry. The statement about Satan causing your birth defects is not supported in the Bible. Cannot be supported. Look, let me just make myself clear. There's no place, not one single place in the Bible that teaches that Satan enters a womb, that Satan directly forms a child in the womb, or Satan overrides God. God's creative work in that way, it's just. It's. It's obscene. I'm sorry I'm a little emotional, but that, that's just ridiculous as a matter of fact. Right, Let me say this. Scripture consistently teaches the opposite. Okay? We all know this. I have this one memorized. This is an Easy 1. Psalm 139, 13. What does it say? For thou has possessed my reigns. Thou has covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee for what? I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth. Right. Well, that means God in the expression of his functional and relational. For that matter, creation brings beauty, intentionality. Right? Isaiah, chapter 44. Thus saith the Lord thy redeemer. I mean, what a. What a beautiful passage. And he that formed thee from the womb. It's. It's very, very clear. Let me tell you what that means. And forgive me, I'm getting a little excited here because this one just bothers me. God is actively involved in your formation. He was and he is. Your life is not an accident. Your existence will no way or ever be the result of Satan's creative power. He has no creative power like the hard left. All he does is have the power to destroy. And by the way, without me getting all crazy about this, did you ever notice that these people that jump on their huge social media bandwagons and begin to, to lay critique about other people, about righteous people, will always bring destruction into play and never creation. Why? Because they're not creation. They're not creators. They ride on the back of creators and then they destroy. And people think that they actually do it. But this is a tactic of Satan. And you see this all the time. Go look at these people who have these massive social media followings and choose to put down the people of God. Listen to every single one of these critiques that have come by as of late. All they're doing is destroying because that's all they know what to do. Because Satan is a destroyer. And let me just say this, and I mean this, it's super important to me. Physical conditions are not proof of Satan's direct involvement. Let me say that again. Your physical condition will never be direct proof of Satan. Satan's involved in. We live in a fallen world. Why? Because sin entered the world. Sickness exists, death exists. As we've seen very vividly over the last year, Physical imperfections are always going to exist. The Bible says it in the book of Romans, the creature was made subject to vanity, okay? Because the whole creation groans. It travails in pain together until this very moment. So brokenness exists in the human body. And that does not mean Satan individually engineered it for your. For your condition or what happened to you. And this is one of the most important passages for your question, and it's critical. Listen to what it says here in John, chapter nine. It says this. It says, and as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, listen to this, okay, Master, who did sin? This man or his parents? And I know this is paraphrase. I'm just telling you, like off the top of my head what's being said. You know, was it that he was. What? You know, was, was, you know, what was it that made him born blind? And Jesus said, neither this man has sinned nor his parents. But then he says, the reason why this happened is for that God would be glorified. The works of God should be made manifest in him. People were looking for someone to blame, but Jesus completely rejected that framework. And by the way, that's happening right now with my dear Charlie, they're going around and they're saying, look at all this, you know, these, these evil satanic people. And they're meeting in government houses and they're doing. And this plotted to kill this and this. Actually understand God, for whatever reason, chose to see it fit to bring his servant home early that he may be glorified, okay? And within this physical ailment, understand this. It does not say that Satan caused. Actually says that God would use it for his purposes. So Satan does have power, okay? But it's limited and subject to God. Satan can tempt you, he could deceive you, he can afflict you. Even you look at the book of Job, you know, he can do some affliction. There has to be permission in order to do it. You can go to Job, chapter one and read it. But even in the book of Job, Satan couldn't act, could only act within the boundaries that God had allowed. He didn't create Job by any stretch of the imagination, and he did not form Job's body in the womb, okay? So I just want. I want this to be understood. Because, like, it's really, really critical. And what you were told completely misre. Misrepresents God completely. And I don't want it to harm your identity. Your body is like the. This teaching implies that your body is the result of Satan's work, or something about your existence is tied to evil origin baloney. That's not only unbiblical, it's completely damaging. The truth is really simple. You were created by God. You have value. God has given you a purpose, and your life is under his authority, not Satan's. And I just want to make that clear, because when these lies continue to get communicated, it's ridiculous. And I love this look. My. One of my favorite passages in the Bible, Ephesians 2:10. For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works. Workmanship. The Greek word for that is poema. It's the word where we get poem. In other words, God functionally and intentionally created you with a very specific intent to bring beauty out of the life that you live. You are his poem. You are intentionally created, and you are not even close to being a product of Satan's design. All Satan does is destroy. And look, all of his agents do that. That pastor was an agent. Like many of these people that are doing these ridiculous podcasts. They're agents of Satan, designed to destroy and not build. And I think that that's really, really important. You were formed by God, you are known by God, and your life absolutely has purpose in his hands. And I'm sorry if I'm getting a little emotional, but this one really bothered me. Like, this struck a bone. Like, my goodness, how the enemy can just try to destroy a person's heart and mind as a result of this. It's crazy.
- [58:46]
Pastor Greg Denham
Well, you know, super sloppy, right? I mean, just a sloppy community.
- [58:50]
Pastor James Cadiz
Irresponsible.
- [58:51]
Pastor Greg Denham
Yeah.
- [58:52]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah.
- [58:52]
Pastor Greg Denham
I'm so glad you answered that beautifully, James. Beautiful. Good. Yep.
- [58:57]
Erica Kirk
Our next question's from Kandra. Can somebody have demonic strongholds and family generational ties that keep them from becoming what Jesus died to give them? There seems to be a generational isolation and demonic stronghold that keeps our family from receiving breakthroughs. There's a rebellious spirit that lingers in our family, and I don't know how to break free. The one brother I had that was close to Jesus and broke free is gone. Now I feel alone, and I'm not sure how to break this generational stronghold for the rest of our family.
- [59:26]
Pastor James Cadiz
Okay, so let's just start with. With what's true. Okay. And. And Greg mentioned this earlier, right? Ephesians, chapter six. We're dealing with spiritual warfare here. We don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers and against rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. It's a very, very clear assertion that's being made here. There is real spiritual opposition. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't true. And the enemy does try to influence people and families. He does try to attack families and generations. And we know that that's true. But we have to be very careful not to misunderstand how that works. Okay? The idea of generational curses controlling believers is a very much often misunderstood. And many people are taught that their family line has a curse. They're spiritually bound by what previous generations did or, and they need to break some kind of a, a mystical curse over their life. But the Bible is very clear about personal responsibility. The Bible says it. Matter of fact, Ezekiel is one of my favorite passages here in Ezekiel 18, he says, look at the soul that sins, they're gonna die. But then he goes on to say that the son shall not bear the iniquity of the Father. And maybe Greg, you can find that for me. I think it's like around verse 15 or 16, but it just basically means this. You're not spiritually bound by your family's past sins and nor are you under a curse if you belong to Christ. If you're in Christ, you're a new creation. It says that Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, meaning sin be being made a curse for us. In other words, our sin has damned us. We've been, you know, removed from there. And even says it in Second Corinthians. He says, if any man be in Christ, he's a new creation. Old things are passed away. Behold, all things have become new. So whatever your, your family history is, whatever patterns you've seen, they do not have authority over you anymore, nor will they ever. Now your actions will have consequences. When I was a police chaplain, I remember going to these gangster parties where you would see these 10 year olds being killed on the side of the road. Well, you know, if you're a father and you're taking your kid to a gangster party, your kid might be shot. That's not a generational curse. It's the foolishness of the behavior of a parent that endangers the child and future generations. So don't get me wrong, there can be generational patterns that's created by this type of behavior. Like the gangster party Demonstration that I gave you. Like, rebellion or isolation or broken relationships, unhealthy thinking. But all of those are the result of behavior that's learned and repeated choices and environment. It's not an unbreakable spiritual force that controls everyone. The good news is really, really clear here. Patterns can be broken. Like, it's not hard to break a pattern if you give that pattern to the Lord. They often start with one person, which, guess what, may very well be you. So you're not responsible to break your whole family by any stretch of the imagination. But you are called very, very clearly to walk with Christ faithfully, to pray for your family to live differently. And in doing so, you will break what you perceive to be a generational curse. And I think that that's how, like, very, very important. Now, if you want to ask about breaking free, how do you do it? How do you personally break free? Well, you know, submit yourself to the Lord, resist the devil, and he'll do what? He'll flee from you. That's James, chapter four. It says that. So you walk in truth. You stay close to God. You reject sinful patterns. You renew your mind by reading the word of God, by looking at the truth, and choose obedience daily. Remember, Christ did not go to the cross willingly. He went to the cross obediently. He demonstrated that to us. So just understand that God will never leave you. He'll never forsake you. And here's what you do for the rest of your family. You pray consistently for them. You speak truth when there's openness. This seems to be a recurring theme today, right? You live a life that reflects Christ and get what, Guess what? You let God work in, in his own timing, okay? And I think that that's a really, really important place to be because God wants your family to be free from all of this stuff more than you do. So just remember that. Yes, there is real spiritual warfare. Greg talked about it earlier. But believers are never trapped by generational curses, okay? In Christ, you've been made free. What looks like a stronghold is just oftentimes a pattern that's reflective of a habit that we give ourselves to that can be literally avoided or destroyed by a new pattern of truth and obedience. By the way, this is why the Bible tells us to put something off and then put something on. And you have to ask yourself this question. Does who you are determine what you do? Or does what you do determine who you are? Now the world will say what you do determines who you are. I'm a thief because I steal. Well, the Bible says, no, you're a saint, so you act a completely different way. And if you're a child of God, then who you are now determines what you do. And if you understand that you are a child of God, what looks like a stronghold is often a pattern that can be broken through just simple truth and obedience. You walk with God because you've been made righteous. So put on the replacement habit. That's what the Bible says. It says put off these things and put on these other things. And so you're not bound, you're free in Christ. By putting off the old habit, you put on the new habit. And, and that is very contagious by the way. That changes a lot of people's lives very quickly, James.
- [64:53]
Pastor Greg Denham
So good. And the scripture you were referring to, Ezekiel 18:20. The Son shall not suffer.
- [64:58]
Pastor James Cadiz
Thank you.
- [64:58]
Pastor Greg Denham
No, no, the Son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the Father. Excellent. If any man be in Christ. You said it. He's a brand new creation. Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin for us that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. I mean, I just want to like 10 seconds here, like he gave his life on Passover. It matters. I think we're probably going to talk about this a little bit later. Point is that he brought the new Exodus out of the enslavement of sin. It's debt and its power, period, to promote in a kind of ambiguous. Oh, there's some ambiguous, like curse on our family that's, you know, that remains, you know, that we, we need some extra technique outside of the personal work of Jesus because that's the implication is just flat out bogus. So Jesus Christ, it is finished. We're sanctified by his blood, and that's the truth.
- [65:45]
Erica Kirk
The next question is from Tracy regarding the Ten Commandments. When a couple is married and mutually agrees to have an open marriage, is this still considered adultery? I feel I know the answer. However, I am seeking more guidance in biblical scripture to help me with this. My husband and I have been open, I'm assuming that means open marriage for six years and it was decided prior to our marriage. I have grown closer to God and began Bible in 365 this year. I feel conflicted the more I study God's word.
- [66:15]
Pastor James Cadiz
Okay, can you guys help me out with this? When she says open marriage, what, what does she mean? I, I, I, I need some clarity on it.
- [66:22]
Pastor Greg Denham
I'm assuming, Yaakov, that she's talking about an agreement. I'm assuming it's sexual relations outside of Their marriage. Is that. Is that your understanding? I'm sorry to pull you into this.
- [66:37]
Pastor James Cadiz
I know I just made an awkward.
- [66:39]
Erica Kirk
I'm trying not to make this.
- [66:40]
Pastor Greg Denham
No, no, wait. I'm saying no. I'm so proud.
- [66:42]
Pastor James Cadiz
I'm not uncomfortable.
- [66:44]
Erica Kirk
No, I have to do.
- [66:45]
Pastor Greg Denham
It's very comfortable. But I have to say, I'm so proud of her because she's reading the Bible and if she's listening, I'm so glad that you asked the question.
- [66:54]
Erica Kirk
No, it's a great. It's.
- [66:55]
Pastor Greg Denham
Honestly, I don't mean to usurp here, but I did see this earlier. I'll just. Just quickly say. Because your answers are no, please. Absolutely.
- [67:02]
Pastor James Cadiz
I just want. I was looking clarity because, like, open, like, do we openly talk about our marriage?
- [67:06]
Erica Kirk
No, she's meaning like.
- [67:08]
Pastor Greg Denham
Okay, yeah.
- [67:09]
Erica Kirk
No, no, no. She's meaning like they agreed ahead of time to have an open marriage. And really where she. If she sees someone or he sees someone, or maybe that's already predetermined who those individuals are they.
- [67:19]
Pastor Greg Denham
So. So the answer is, you know, adultery is having sexual relations outside of your marriage. You know, marriage is between a man and a woman. The most beautiful, deep, abiding relationship on a human level. The two shall become one. And why. There's lots of reasons. One is for procreation, for to experience. You know, the two shall be potentially three for sexual protection, sexual contentment, as a witness of Jesus Christ, his love for the church, and vice versa. It's a mystery. So Jesus relationship to the church helps to explain actually marriage itself. So the answer is that I'm glad you're feeling uncomfortable about this because it's a good sign.
- [68:15]
Erica Kirk
Yeah.
- [68:15]
Pastor Greg Denham
That means that you're moving in the right direction.
- [68:18]
Pastor James Cadiz
Right.
- [68:20]
Pastor Greg Denham
So the answer is that if there's sexual relations outside of your marriage, in other words, you're participating in any type of sexual relations other than with your husband that is outside of original design, that is adultery. That would be breaking God's commandments. And let me just turn the heat up just a little bit more seriously is that when we come to the Lord Jesus Christ and follow him, that one of the signs of legitimate relationship with God is a fundamental change when it comes to our view of original design of sexual relations. We align with the Lord with regard to this. So I would encourage you to keep moving in the direction that you are. It sounds to me like you're uncomfortable. That's a good sign. And I would turn. It's called repentance, which. Which really is the Greek word metanoia. It means to change the way you think that leads to a lifestyle change, kind of a U turn in life and turn from that sin and no longer and no longer participate in any sexual relationships outside of the umbrella of marriage with, with your husband. James.
- [69:32]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah, yeah. I'll just make it very, very simple. And that's that that even consent in any situation doesn't remove of sin. You know, people agreeing to something, it does not make it righteous. God's standard doesn't change based on some kind of a human agreement. As a matter of fact, this was the context of Isaiah, chapter 5, when Isaiah speaks on behalf of the Lord and he says, woe unto them that call evil good and good evil. This was the immediate context, not adultery in and of itself, but basically the whole idea of we consent group think says that it's okay, so it must be. And there's nothing like that that you can find substantiated in the scripture. And you know what? Look, if you're feeling convicted, it's because you are studying God's word. You even said it, I think your exact words, let me go back and read this, I gotta find it. But I think, I think something was said when I heard the question being being asked. I think the, the words that were said was, I feel convicted the more I study God's word. And that's because Hebrews says it. The word of God is quick, it's powerful, right? It's a discerner. Notice what it says at the end of that passage in Hebrews 4:12. It's a discerner of the thoughts and the intent of the heart. So the word of God exposes these issues, it makes these corrections, and it's going to align you with the truth. That's why you're having that discomfort. And that's an amazing thing. So follow that and, and do it. And here's the thing. Your marriage will become so much more fulfilling. Your sexual relationship will become so much better. Your emotional relationship will become so much better because it's the way God prescribed it. When you use it, the way that it was intended to be used, God will bless you. And it. Just brace yourself because you're about to have an incredible marriage. You're going to have a great sexual relationship, and you're going to have a very, very close, fulfilled emotional bond as you walk according to the conviction that God has placed upon your heart.
- [71:36]
Pastor Greg Denham
And I'm just thinking of others that may be listening. Let me just read 1st Corinthians 6, beginning in verse 9. Do not be Deceived, right? Do not be deceived. Just underscore this. Neither fornicators that's having sexual relations prior to marriage, nor idolaters, which is really a God replacement looking to a person, place or thing in replace of God, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. Now check this out. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, which means set apart, right? But you were justified. Just means just as if you've never sinned. In the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God, I just pray you and your husband would both follow the Lord, experience His forgiveness that he purchased for us on the cross. A new beginning, a right relationship with him, and there would be a beautiful renewal and regeneration in your marriage.
- [72:41]
Pastor James Cadiz
Amen.
- [72:42]
Erica Kirk
Our next two questions I'm going to kind of blind. It's from Caitlin and then there's an anonymous question submission that they're kind of similar and you'll understand the sentiment here in a second. So Caitlin said or asks. As a child, I was very hurt by the church. God has worked through a lot of this hurt. However, there is one last thing that I have an incredibly hard time with and that is returning to church. I recently tried and I could barely take a breath. I understand that the church is made up of sinners who can hurt you, but how do I work through this so that I can go back to gain the benefits of church? Now, kind of the other angle of this from the anonymous question, I'm having a tough time getting past not seeing God as almost abusive. I'm still trying to get past the things and pain he would ask people to do or go through, but yet he loves us unconditionally. And I know this stems from abuse in my past, but it's hard for me to separate. How can I refrain my brain to not always feel like a disappointment to God? I think both of those kind of have a similar answer and response.
- [73:43]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah, let me, let me go back to the, the last question and I'll have Greg talk about the first one with, with the burning of church, because there's a. There's a major issue here that is very, very common. Believe it or not, this anonymous question comes up a lot. Okay. And so it's reflective of a very important struggle. And I think the danger with this is that abuse gets minimized, especially in this culture and especially in this society. And It's a very, very difficult thing to do. Because when. When humans act abusive and they're affiliated or associated with God in any way, then there's a major conflation that takes place. And immediately God is perceived as being one who is there. And. And I want to. I want to point this out because you're not wrong for feeling this kind of. For lack of a better term, struggle or this tension said this. I think the exact words are, I'm having a tough time getting past not seeing God as abusive or almost abusive. Okay? It doesn't make you rebellious. It actually means it's indicative of the fact that you've experienced very serious, very real pain. And your mind, because of the trauma that you've experienced, is trying to make sense of God through that lens. It's a very human emotion. So what we have to do is we have to get you to start looking at it through a different lens, which will then begin to separate the feelings that you're feeling it. By the way, it also means that we need to separate who God actually is from the very experiences that we've had. And. And that's why I say we've got to start looking at it through a different lens. Now, I want to make this very, very clear. God is nothing like the people who hurt you. And I think this is the most important truth to establish, you know, abuse. People who are abusive will say, well, I hurt you for my benefit. I control you. You know, I. The big one, right? I'll take from you. Someone goes to abuse somebody. It relates to that. But God says something completely different. First, John says God is love, okay? His love is not abstract. It's not like, you know, some. Like a weird thought that, you know, like this love is love movement. No, it's actually demonstrated. How do we know that? Romans 5 tells us it's a. God commends his love toward us. That. What? That yet, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He literally died. So instead of God taking from you, God gave himself for you. He literally suffered for you guys. He took the punishment that we deserved. So that's the opposite of abuse.
- [76:28]
Pastor Greg Denham
Right?
- [76:28]
Pastor James Cadiz
And look, the. The hardest part that comes now is the question where people ask. And this is where the conflation gets really serious. Well, why does God allow pain? And that's where the struggle really sits. And, and by the way, look, you're not just asking here if God is loving, okay? You're asking, why does he allow or ask hard things? And, and I get that. Look, I I get it. And there's. By the way, can I just say this? There's nothing wrong with asking a why question so long as you're not charging God. So I think there's nothing wrong with saying God, why do you allow these things? Or why do you ask these, these hard things of us? Okay, no problem. But what you can't say is God, if you're so loving, then why so look, the Bible doesn't deny this. Jesus himself experienced suffering. Isaiah 53 makes it very clear. Jesus is in the garden and he's getting ready to die. And he says, if this cup can pass for me, let it pass nevertheless, not my will be done, but thy will. Christ went to the cross obediently. He didn't go to the cross willingly because he experienced that very, that very tension in many ways. But this is what God says. And listen, I know the context here is Israel, okay, I get that. But the principle is the same. Jeremiah 29, verse 11, it says, For I know the thoughts that I think towards you. This is one of my, this one of my wife's very like favorite verses, okay? Thoughts of peace. God is saying this. It says, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil. To give you notice, this an expected end. Guys, I want everybody to hear this. This isn't just for this anonymous person. Abuse is rooted in evil intent. There's intention in abuse. It's evil intent. God's actions, even if they're hard, they're rooted in his goodness, they're rooted in his purpose for us. They're rooted in redemption. So that's important. Now there's one other thing I want to say and, and this is important, right? Don't conflate God's discipline with abuse, okay? Because sometimes what feels harsh can be very much misunderstood. The Bible tells us that whoever God loves, he's going to chasten. My son does, goes through this with me all the time. He has this little tender heart and I, and I discipline him. Oh, he just feels hurt sometimes. Like literally puts his head down and it breaks my heart. But understand, abuse is uncontrolled, it's harmful. It's like I said before, very self serving. But God's discipline has purpose, okay? It's measured, it's intentional, it's loving. Okay? But for our prophet, that's what the Bible says for our prophet, that we might be partakers of the holiness that he's given us. God doesn't discipline us to destroy us us. He disciplines us to build us up. So one other Thing I want to point out in the whole idea that you feel like a disappointment to God, please don't listen to that, okay? Abuse does this. This when somebody is abused. It creates these. These voices that speak very loudly. It's a function of the pain that you've gone through in the past. You'll oftentimes say things like, I'm not enough, or I always fail, or I disappoint people. But look at how God sees you in Christ. Just read Romans, chapter 8. Listen, Romans, chapter 8. The apostle Paul just finished talking about himself, his own body. He referred to his body as a death trap. And then he says this. He says, there is therefore no condemnation for those which are in Christ Jesus who walk not according to the flesh, but walk according to the spirit, meaning there's no condemnation. God doesn't condemn you. He's made you accepted in the beloved. That's what Ephesians says. You are not just tolerated. You're accepted. Okay? You're. And by the way, you. There is a contradiction when you use the term disappointment. You're not a disappointment to the Lord. You're actually chosen by Him. You. How can you be a disappointment if he chooses you? Okay? So just understand this. And I want to say this. I don't know. I said one last thing. But whatever you do, please don't project human pain unto God. I'm not criticizing you. That's not what I'm doing here. But just understand, when somebody's been abused, it's really common to expect, you know, these types of feelings, right? It's very common to expect somebody who's in authority to harm you. It's very common to expect, you know, some kind of love, no matter what it is, to go hand in hand with pain. If you're going to be loved, you're going to feel pain because it's a normal part of what abuse entails. But that's not true. And I think sometimes it's really easy to assume that control is going to equal danger because abusers take control so that they bring you into a dangerous place. So put on the mind filter, right? When you read about God, understand your mind filters him through past experiences. Don't let that happen. Go through God's filter. Allow the renewing of your mind to take place, as it says in Romans, chapter 12. It's a really, really important thing. There's so much more to say about this, but I think it's. I think that's critical. And I've been very long winded today.
- [81:50]
Pastor Greg Denham
Great job. I'M sorry, James, Great job. No, and I want to say to Caitlin, I'm so proud of you. So proud of you going back to church. And I'm sorry for the terrible experience in your childhood. And the Lord knows. He knows exactly what you're going through. And so I just want to encourage you on something, okay? One, find a church that teaches the Bible. They open the Bible and they explain it, right? And then it's like, okay, how does that apply to us today? Okay, so that's important. Like, you want. You go in and go to a good church, and that's. That's a good characteristic, right? Committed to the word of God. Number two. Okay, check this out. I would encourage you go back and after church, like when they have prayer with the elders or pastors, go up to one of them and just say, hey, look, would you pray for me? Because I know the Lord's calling me back to church because it is important that we're all participating on a local level. It's like, you know, the Bible says that the devil's like a lion. He seeks to devour. You know, he's not the lion tribe of Judah, but he's like a lion. And Satan wants to pick off people who isolate themselves. So your instinct to get back to church is so, so important and so. Right. So good job. Okay, but just ask them to pray for you. Say, look, I'm struggling. Pray for me. Number three. I just want to encourage you. And that is, I just think of our Lord Jesus. Remember, like, when he came into Jerusalem. I mean, it's Passover week, right? And, you know, carrying the burden of the world, and he, like, never gives up. He just. He perseveres. I want to encourage you to do that as well. And sometimes I just think of, like, you know, pedaling a bike, you know, Christianity, following the little bit, like, you know, riding a bike. And sometimes, you know, you're moving at a fast pace. Other times, you're. You're just, you know, just pressing a little inch by inch. But I just encourage you with regard to going back to church, not to give up. Ask the leadership. Please pray for me, because I'm having struggles, and just keep pedaling, right? Just go back. I just know the Lord will bless you and he'll help you and he'll give you the strength. So good job for going back. Sorry for you. Feel like, you know, you're suffocating. But I really believe that you're going to experience a beautiful release in the right church and get the leaders to pray. For you. And I'm convinced great things are ahead for you. So don't give up.
- [84:30]
Erica Kirk
Okay, Our next question is from terry. Jesus chose 12 disciples in Matthew, chapter 19, verses 28 through 30. Jesus tells the 12 disciples in the new world, when the Son of man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on 12 Thrones, judging the 12 tribes of Israel. Peter killed himself after denying Jesus. Yeah, Judas killed himself after denying Jesus three times. I presume he is one of the 12 thrones. So how does God handle or judge those who take their own life? We have lost several people over the years to suicide. As I continue to mature in my own walk, I realize few will go to heaven. Please help me understand suicide in Jesus.
- [85:16]
Pastor James Cadiz
Okay, so let's, let's bring out some pretty important clarifications. The first one Greg already bought out and that was the fact that it was Judas who actually killed himself. Yeah, number one. Number two, let's speak about the 12 thrones. They were actually fulfilled with Judas being replaced. And we know that we have biblical precedent for that because when Judas died, he was replaced. Acts chapter 1, verse 26 tells us this. They gave forth their lots and the lot fell upon Matthias, who was numbered with the 11 apostles. So we know the 12 were restored in number. And Matthias likely fills that role. Now some people argue Matthias wasn't that it was the Apostle Paul. And that's an argument that there's a lot of deeper conversation that goes with that. Either way, we know that that number is a fulfilled number and becomes almost. Yeah, I would argue the same thing. Listen, I would argue the same thing. I think the Apostle Paul was very unique in a very special way. And I actually think I can prove that, eschatologically speaking. I also think I can prove it from the Old Testament, but that's a whole other story. But that's why I said it's a discussion for another time. I've had three hour conversations regarding the Apostle Paul Matthias thing, and there's a couple of Greek phrases that I could literally eliminate that argument with in just a moment. But that's, I've already been long winded today. Now let's go to the deeper question. What about suicide? Okay, look, the Bible doesn't give a simple one liner answer like, you know, anyone who commits suicide automatically goes to hell. There's just no truth to that. Suicide is a sin. It's, it's not a special unforgivable sin. The Bible does say there is an unforgivable sin. Suicide, isn't that okay? Takings one life is a. Is a very, very tragic thing. Definitely a violation of what God designs for life. Our body is a temple of the Holy Ghost. It's not our own. Therefore, we're supposed to glorify God in our body. That means we have to be very, very careful. Right. By the way, based on that, we have to be very, very careful to say that a suicide can override the finished work of Christ. That's just not true. Now let me just simply say this. Salvation is based on the finished work of Christ. It's not based on the final work of life or the final moment of life. There's a lot of people who are faithful believers who right before they die, do something crazy. Does that mean they're going to hell? Certainly not. We are saved by faith in Christ. That's it. The idea here is that the only way that you can go to heaven. Listen to me closely when I say this. The only way that you can go to heaven is by fulfilling the law of God perfectly. There is no other way to go to heaven. And that's very important to understand that. That. Because that means all of us are bound for hell except for one very important fact. And that is the fact that Christ came to this earth. He did not abolish the law. He fulfilled it every jot and tittle meaning he lived a completely sinless life. And the Bible says that when we put our faith and trust in Jesus, we take his perfect robe of righteousness and we take off our unrighteousness. We put on his righteousness. And when we go before God, God says, hey, you live the perfect life. Life, come into heaven. Why? Because it was our perfect life. No, it's Christ's perfect life. We wore his perfect life. We get credit for that perfect life. Ephesians says it right, for grace. You're safe through faith, not of works. We know that. Right. So the, the real question that you have to ask is, did that person belong to Christ? You can still be a Christian and have mental illness. You can still be a Christian and end up doing things like that. And, and the question cannot be what was the last act they committed. It's just, it's a very, very difficult thing to do. And by the way, the Bible shows us that even godly people went through extreme distress. Matter of fact, I'll make the argument that godly people, and I can prove it in the Bible, had suicidal ideation. Okay. One of my favorite, one of my favorite passages is Elijah's fit you Remember in, in, in First Kings, I think it was right after the confrontation with the prophets of BAAL on Mount Carmel. It says that he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. And then after that, what does he do? He requests that God kill him. Basically, he, he wanted to die. He's a prophet of God. He's super overwhelmed. And just understand that emotional and, and mental distress or anguish. It's a very real thing. Despair can easily cloud someone's judgment in severe ways. And we have all felt that way. So understand this right? We, we cannot make final judgments about any individuals, especially in that respect. God sees the heart. He knows the full story. He understands the final state of a, of a, of a person's faith. And the Bible makes it clear even in 1st Samuel that God looks, doesn't look on the outward appearance. That's what man does. Man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the condition of the heart. So when it comes to people that you've lost, we do not declare their eternal fate. We can't do so. We can entrust them to the, to the, to the justice, the perfect justice and the mercy of God. And that's really important also with respect to the few will go to heaven. Okay? Jesus. That phrase comes from a, from, from a passage. I think it's in Matthew 7, where Jesus says, wide is the gate and broad is the way that leadeth to destruction. I think he goes on to say that because the. The gate is straight, I believe is what he says, and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life. There are few. There are few there that. That are found that find it. There are a few there that find it. So it's true. Okay? But this should lead us to a sense of urgency and compassion and, and continue on in faithfulness of the Lord, not despair or walk in hopelessness. Because God is the way that gave us. The Lord gave us the way through the narrow gate. Okay, and so how do you view people that you've lost? Okay. This is, this is the healthiest, in my opinion, most biblical posture to take. Obviously, you grieve their loss, you acknowledge a tragedy. That's. That just goes without saying. But trust in God's perfect judgment, okay?
- [91:44]
Pastor Greg Denham
True and righteous.
- [91:46]
Pastor James Cadiz
Right?
- [91:46]
Pastor Greg Denham
He knows everything. Right?
- [91:47]
Pastor James Cadiz
Shall not the judge of all the earth do right? I mean, that's the, that's the correct question that comes right out of Genesis, right? So God is perfectly just, he's perfectly merciful. We know that. And he's never wrong in his judgment. And just a word of Encouragement for you, like just for your, for your own heart and all this. Losing people this way leaves all kinds of questions that never get fully answered. I want you to understand that you're never going to be able to answer some of these questions, but you can rest in a few areas. You can rest in the fact that God understands the depth of human suffering. He knows what that's all about and he judges accordingly. God is not careless with the condition of our souls. Okay? So just understand that Judas, yes, he took his life. Suicide is a, is a serious sin. And we do have certain levels of sin. I, I, I'm not going to disagree, dispute that at all. But a person's eternity is determined by their relationship with Christ, their faith and trust that they put in Christ. Not a single final act. And yes, we, we don't have the responsibility and nor can we declare the, the fate of somebody eternally right? We have to trust in God's justice. We've got to trust in his, in his judgment and his mercy. And here's the most important part. Heart. His perfect look, his perfect knowledge. He knows everything. So when it comes to those that you've lost, you can grieve honestly while still completely putting your faith and trust in the Lord. Why? Because God's going to do better for them and for us than we could ever do for ourselves or them. And that's really important. God is just, and he knows what he's doing.
- [93:23]
Pastor Greg Denham
And I just want to say. Anybody listening to us, if you're down and you're depressed, the Lord is with you. He's in the room. He's going to get you through this. There's blue skies ahead, okay? We're not to harm ourselves. We're not to harm ourselves. And I just want to also just double underscore. I mean, James said it numerous times, but like, our relationship with God and our security is not based upon our last statement or our last act, but Jesus's last statement and Jesus's last act and something that's helped me over the years. I'll be really, really quick. Is Pastor Chuck used to say, hey, you know, if someone takes their last life, they're, they're, you know, oh my goodness. They're not in their right mind. They're not in their right mind. Now listen, if you're down or you're depressed, don't hurt yourself, okay? Because blue skies are ahead. He promised to work all things out for the good. So the Lord knows what you're going through. He knows your hardship. I, I know this is not someone maybe that's dealing, you know, someone who asks this question is maybe dealing with depression. But I'm just concerned for anybody who's listening to us. Okay. The Lord is in the room with you and he loves you and his love is provisional and he protects. He's going to provide. He's gone before you. He's a great shepherd, so he's carrying you. So hang in there. Be strong and persevere. Don't give up.
- [94:41]
Erica Kirk
Amen. While we're on this topic, I had a good friend message me and ask kind of a similar follow up question to put like a bow on it here, but how is God able to prove that there is a purpose to someone who's lost everything?
- [94:57]
Pastor James Cadiz
Well, look, go ahead, Greg.
- [94:59]
Pastor Greg Denham
Well, I just want to, I just, I just want to tell you, tell you that you know, I think of our Lord Jesus. He came to restore trust in our, in the Heavenly Father, that He is good. That he is really good. And it gets back to Hebrews, chapter 12. I alluded to it it earlier. What do I mean by that? I mean think about it, everybody, like the Lord knew he would be treated as if he committed every stinking sin in human history. Paul talked about being conformed to the image of his death. In fact, Erica and I were just talking about this earlier today. But I mean, what does that mean? I mean the greatest act of selflessness and others orientedness ever in the history of the world. In other words, like Jesus gave it all right, he gave himself on the cross. No one took his life. He didn't even die of crucifixion. He died on the cross. He was in full control. He gave up his spirit and what happened? He resurrected and then he ascended. And it just tells us that we can trust the great hand of our Heavenly Father in the darkest of times. And I mean Jesus, needless to say, experienced radical blackout on the cross. My God, my God, why has Thou forsaken me? I mean, he's quoting Psalm 22, right? I mean, and it ends with triumph, by the way. It could. It almost ends like with this cry. It is finished but it reads different like it is done. But I just. So my point is that we look to Jesus. You talk about hope that the Father is good and that he works it all for the good. And what is our highest good? Our highest good is actually transformation. More like Jesus to impact others. Because it is a we thing. Everybody I think of precious Charlie saying everybody, I love that. But it is a we thing. We're in it together. We all play a role in this. We all play an important role. So to answer your question, not to keep going on here, but just let us just look to Jesus, who knew he would be. You know, he emptied himself, and yet from that came the greatest good and healing and redemption of the world. So it is he came to restore that we can trust our heavenly Father. And that is our Father who will work all things out for the good. And I just want to say, I mean, that. That comforted me because when our precious Charlie went to heaven, those are the very thoughts that I was thinking is, our Papa has this and we can trust him. His big, big hand. By the way, Almighty James maybe addresses, but Almighty carries the idea that he has a really big hand. And I just love that we feel his hand. We feel the wind of his hand in our times in which we find ourselves and his grace.
- [97:59]
Pastor James Cadiz
And I think it's important to note that God doesn't always prove purpose the way that we expect him to. And it's a really good question because, like, I know this is a question that anybody would ask. We all face this question. Probably not at the level Erica, not probably for sure. We didn't face it at the level that Erica had to face it, you know, but keep this in mind. When someone has lost everything, the natural expectation is. And this is with believers, right? God, show me why this happened. That's what we want to ask. We want to get like we say, give me a clear explanation on this, God. Help me make it. Help it all make sense. But in many cases, God doesn't start by explaining purpose the way that he starts. And listen to me, listen to me good. He starts by revealing himself, okay? And we actually see that happening with Job. Job loses everything. If you want to learn how this happens, you just go to the biblical example. Job lost everything, and he didn't get a direct explanation. Look at all the things he lost. The Bible tells us he lost his children, he lost his possession, his wealth, he lost his very health. And. And when God finally speaks to him, if you remember, he didn't explain the reasoning behind Job's suffering. Instead, he showed Job who he was. Matter of fact, he goes to Job and he says, hey, where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Come on, tell me if you've got understanding, were you there? Right? And God does something amazing. He shifts the very focus that Job had in obsessing over why to who is God? And that's the question. It's like, okay, well, who is God? And if you know that if you change, if you go from the why to tell me who you are, God, everything completely changes. Purpose is very much revealed over time, not immediately. And we see that happen. Matter of fact, that's the whole purpose of Romans 8:28. People think Romans 8:28 is a promise that all things are going to work together for the good. It's a given that that's going to happen.
- [100:06]
Erica Kirk
Happen.
- [100:06]
Pastor James Cadiz
Right. But the. But the phrasing of Romans 8:28 speaks of the fact that it is something that will happen eventually. So the idea is to teach us to be patient with the outcome, even if we don't understand the outcome. And it doesn't say that all things are good. That's not what it says there. It says that God works them together for the good. So that purpose is going to be. That process is going to be very, very slow at times. And it's almost always unseen at first and oftentimes revealed later, and in many cases, sometimes much, much later. And I think that that's one of the big purposes also. When things like this happen, the purpose of it is transformation. Okay, this is why James says, count it all, Joy. Because he's looking to bring transformation to us. In James, chapter one. And here's the thing. We tend to see things like this. And I'll just kind of close with this thought. We tend to see things like this and we say, well, God, this isn't working for me. Okay, well, let me just explain how this works. When God allows these things to happen, it is always working. It always works. It never doesn't work. Okay? If it's not working for you, it's working on you. And that's the thing you have to understand. It's like if you don't see the transformation in it, God is working on you in this moment. And eventually it will start working for you. You. And it's a. It's a matter of trust. You know, it's a matter of just simply saying, lord, I'm gonna. I'm gonna trust you. And this is why the apostle Paul says, look, we're troubled on every side, right? He says, yet we're not distressed. We're perplexed, but we're not in despair. Like, we're like, literally, like, shocked. How does this work? But we're not despaired over it. And then he goes on to say, we're persecuted, but we're not even forsaken. Why? Because God is present. He's the one that's working. And that kind of endurance is not a random thing. And so that ultimate purpose is going to be eternal. It's going to bring an eternal reward. And that's why the apostle Paul talks about the light affliction that he's going through for the moment. Why? Because it's in light of what's going to be far more exceeding in the eternal. And that's. That's what he says. So it's very, very important. And there's an honest truth to this. Right. We're not going to fully understand why we lost everything. We're not even going to understand the purpose of it initially. But we can still know that God hasn't abandoned us. That literally our life has more meaning now than it ever has. And this is my favorite part of this. Right? The story's not finished.
- [102:34]
Pastor Greg Denham
I love that. We don't live off explanations. We live off promises. Right?
- [102:37]
Erica Kirk
Amen.
- [102:38]
Pastor James Cadiz
100.
- [102:40]
Pastor Greg Denham
Well said, James.
- [102:41]
Erica Kirk
Amen. So these next two questions from Nicole and Mary, I'm gonna mix them together because they're very similar but also very important for some people out there and for everyone in this world to hear. How are we supposed to maintain grace for people who are so evil in this world? How do I pray for someone who is a pedophile and has such evil in his heart? My word of the year is grace. And I'm struggling to find grace in my heart for evildoers. I found out that my ex husband, my daughter's father, attempted to sexually assault his. His stepdaughter in that week. I was told I need to pray for him. The following question.
- [103:25]
Pastor James Cadiz
Okay, okay. When you ask that following question before you do, Greg, can you take that one? Well, first of all. I'm already bothered hearing first of all. And then. Erica, read the second one. I'm sorry.
- [103:36]
Pastor Greg Denham
Okay. First of all, we are to hate evil. Abhor that which is evil.
- [103:41]
Erica Kirk
Amen.
- [103:41]
Pastor Greg Denham
Abhor that which is evil.
- [103:44]
Erica Kirk
Amen.
- [103:45]
Pastor Greg Denham
The thing is, we don't overcome evil with evil. We overcome evil with good. Right. So the abuse of children, all kinds of crazy abuses and sins, Right? Absolutely. Evil. We're to hate evil and not to hate. It is a sin in of itself. God hates evil. Look, you know, the Lord calls us to pray for those who. Who hate and hate us and persecute us. And I'm convinced it's a part of actually a rescue because the alternative is to be consumed by hatred and bitterness that destroys our lives. And, you know, we need the Lord's help. Right. But we can pray for their salvation. There's a couple of things One is, we pray that they get arrested and that they experience the full brunt of the law for breaking the law and abusing human beings. But the way we can pray for them, we don't have to like it. We don't have to, you know, to love someone, it doesn't mean you agree with them or that you like what they're doing, but to pray for their soul because they need the Lord. And that's how you can pray for them. But we are to abhor that which is evil and to hate it. But we're to overcome evil with good. I would just. That would be my first response.
- [105:11]
Erica Kirk
And then, Marie, when Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us, what does that truly mean in practice? I genuinely want to live this out, but I find it difficult to know what to say, what to think, or even how to feel it in my heart during such a prayer. I would truly appreciate hearing your perspective on how to understand this teaching and how I might practice it faithfully throughout life. I will tell you firsthand, it is not easy, but it is doable and it is possible and it is necessary.
- [105:40]
Pastor Greg Denham
God bless you.
- [105:42]
Erica Kirk
It is hard, but it is necessary.
- [105:46]
Pastor Greg Denham
I just want to say
- [105:50]
Pastor James Cadiz
it's hard not to.
- [105:52]
Pastor Greg Denham
Erica. Erica lives it. Yeah, because Erica lives it.
- [105:58]
Pastor James Cadiz
I know Greg remembers this, but me and you were sitting in Erica's living room right before the memorial service, Remember the night before.
- [106:07]
Erica Kirk
And I didn't know. And we were praying on that because I did not. That was a game time decision. When I said that on stage, that was not something I remember we said you have to pray on what was going to be said on that stage. And that was a game time decision. And that's why I paused so long. And you guys were there for that moment.
- [106:27]
Pastor James Cadiz
The night before, we were all crying when you talked about the fact that you were praying about that and you were going to do it. Look, I'm going to talk my way out of getting emotional here for just a second. I heard somebody recently online, not that I really care to talk about that, but I heard someone recently say that something is suspect with Erica doing something like that. And I will just simply say that it's suspect to somebody who has demonic acclamation. Look, Jesus said it. He said, I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good for them that hate you. And notice what he says. He says, pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you. The reason why this is difficult to understand is because it's not Natural, it is supernatural, living. So when somebody sees that level of forgiveness or that level of prayer being executed, understand something, it's suspect if it's derived or contrived by human effort. But because it's a supernatural intervention, it's so much more meaningful. Okay? Now let me just tell you what. Pray for them does not mean. Okay? It doesn't mean pretending that what they did was okay. It doesn't mean suppressing your pain in any stretch of the imagination. It doesn't mean feeling, like, instant warmth towards them. And it. It certainly doesn't mean that they are to be excused of the consequence of the evil that they did. Okay? God's not asking you to deny reality in any stretch of the imagination, and he's not asking you to respond differently to it. Okay? What's happening here, what it does mean at its very core is it means that you are choosing to bring them before God instead of holding them in some kind of bitterness. Okay? It's a shift from. Look at what they did to me. They owe me. They hurt me. They took this away to God. I'm putting them in your hands. I'm allowing your perfect justice to take control. And I think that I'm. I'm at liberty to say this because look at what we all experienced together. We all sat down together when our dear sister Erica lost everything. Literally everything that she had was wrapped up in her, in her husband. And then she was faced with a choice at that. At that moment, she was faced with the choice of allowing the bitterness of the horrendous, evil, wicked thing that happened to hold her hostage and to destroy whatever God had put together through their marriage and through their relationship and through everything that they'd done. Or to simply say, I won't allow them to have real estate. Look, even right now, with the horrible things that are being said and the horrible things that are being done, bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting that poison to hurt the person that you're bitter at. And that's the thing. And so the question is, when you pray for them, what do you actually say in prayer? If you're unsure what to say? Here's the biblical. The biblical thing. Pray for their salvation. Lord, open up their eyes. Jesus said, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. Okay, fair enough. God says that he's not willing that any should perish. So at that point, you just simply pray for that. God softened their heart, by the way. Can I just say this? This is kind of important. I don't think there's anything Wrong with praying the prayer. God break their teeth in their mouth. David did that.
- [110:06]
Erica Kirk
I was just going to say, David, that's all in psalms. It's all in psalms.
- [110:11]
Pastor James Cadiz
And. And here's the reason why there's nothing wrong with that prayer, because I'm praying that prayer for a lot of people. The reason why you can pray that prayer is because when you pray that prayer, you're taking your bitterness, you're giving it to God, and you're saying, God, you execute your judgment.
- [110:25]
Erica Kirk
Amen.
- [110:26]
Pastor James Cadiz
And the best part about that is when I execute my judgment, I could miss something, and then I could do something unjust by the execution of my own judgment. But if I say, God, you do all these things, God may actually do worse than that, or God may do, you know, what may be perceived as better, but no matter what, it'll be perfect justice. And there are many times where I am personally motivated to say, God, do these things knowing that vengeance belongs to him, which is why I'm asking him to do it. And when you ask him to do it, look, it's that simple. And I think that that's a very, very critical understanding to have. So, yeah, I absolutely forgive. I forgive that guy that's in jail for doing what he did, doing the evil thing that he did. But you know what? I pray every day that God will bring him to justice.
- [111:16]
Pastor Greg Denham
100%,
- [111:19]
Pastor James Cadiz
nothing wrong. 100%, nothing wrong with that. You have to. I think you're obligated to. Why? Because if you continue to give your desire for vengeance to the Lord, that desire for vengeance turns into purpose, it turns into victory, it turns into health, and then God takes it and he runs with it.
- [111:39]
Pastor Greg Denham
And let me just say, it can't
- [111:41]
Pastor James Cadiz
get any better than that.
- [111:42]
Pastor Greg Denham
Yeah. And James, let me just say evil is more evil than we could ever imagine evil to be.
- [111:46]
Pastor James Cadiz
Oh, 100%.
- [111:47]
Pastor Greg Denham
And what I'm saying is, is that, look, we. When we obey the Lord, the more freer we will be when we just. Okay, I'm going to trust you. I'm going to do what you've called me to do. And love is not a sentiment like we talked about this earlier, I think, not a sentiment. So it's not a feeling, it's an action. And I'm just thinking of the Lord, you know, I mean, at the cross, despising the shame of the cross. Right.
- [112:09]
Pastor James Cadiz
100%.
- [112:11]
Pastor Greg Denham
But he obeyed and he trusted the Heavenly Father. And look what was the result. It was the healing and redemption of the world. So some perspectives.
- [112:21]
Erica Kirk
Just pray for thy Will to be done.
- [112:24]
Pastor Greg Denham
That's right.
- [112:24]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yep.
- [112:25]
Erica Kirk
Especially as you see all the crazy things that are out there.
- [112:30]
Pastor Greg Denham
That's right. And vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Evil does not win. And I think. I just think when the Lord just says, look, we need to be praying for those who persecute us and use us up. He does not want us overcome by evil itself, and we overcome evil by doing what is good. So we. We need to bring them before the Lord and do that which is contrary to our nature, as James was mentioning earlier.
- [112:59]
Erica Kirk
But it's freeing.
- [113:00]
Pastor Greg Denham
It is freeing.
- [113:01]
Erica Kirk
It is freeing when you can say, I pray for them. Even though they hate me, I pray for them because it frees you from, like you said, Pastor James, that poison.
- [113:14]
Pastor Greg Denham
That's right.
- [113:15]
Erica Kirk
And it frees you from that hold that they could have on your heart. Cause you won't let them break you. You won't let the world break you. And it's even personal for me. I have two children to raise. I have an organization to run. I have students counting on me to show up. And that is where my energy goes.
- [113:34]
Pastor Greg Denham
That's right.
- [113:34]
Erica Kirk
Every single day, that's where my energy goes. And, you know, and Pastor James, you know this, too. At a micro level, you know, we see it, we live in an attention economy where it's designed to keep people angry, and it's designed to keep people divided. And continuing to scroll and to get their clicks and a solved problem on the Internet or wherever does not drive engagement. And a resolved grievance does not generate clicks. So some people, you know, have made a very deliberate choice to live their life that way. And you, and you, Pastor James, and all the other people that are inside a Bible in365, that is their business. That's not ours. Our business is of the Lord. And every single day, no matter how much you talk about us, that's your business. Our business is the Lord's. And we will just pray for them and keep moving and keep building. That is our business. Our business is kingdom business. Everything else is of the world.
- [114:41]
Pastor Greg Denham
It's about our Father's business.
- [114:42]
Erica Kirk
Amen.
- [114:43]
Pastor Greg Denham
It's about our father's business. Absolutely beautiful, Erica.
- [114:47]
Pastor James Cadiz
Look at what happened to Charlie the last few years he was alive on this earth. The effectiveness that that man had was directly correlated to the decision that he made to ignore the noise. He gave up a whole day to the Lord. He took the phone, he put it away. He said, I'm gonna listen to the voice of God. And by the way, in the last couple of years, there were a bunch of people that hated him more. The, our dear president would not be the President of the United States today if it wasn't for the work that Charlie Kirk put in to make that happen. You think there are people that didn't hate him for that? They hated him. The hate grew, the opposition grew. I know because he talked to me about it on a regular basis. But yet something happened. Something clicked. And what happened was he took a day, every day of the week to go every day, one day a week to go back to reflect upon his relationship with his creator. And he realized something really, really important. Politics were a functional emanation that came from the spiritual.
- [116:01]
Erica Kirk
And.
- [116:01]
Pastor James Cadiz
And that's why he became so good at it. That's why he was so effective on campus. Anybody who has any observational capacity with respect to Charlie is able to tell that that man over the last couple of years, spent more time talking about the gospel than he did anything else.
- [116:17]
Pastor Greg Denham
He lived for an audience at work.
- [116:18]
Pastor James Cadiz
Amen, brother. It was beginning to be the single greatest reason why lives of young men were changing.
- [116:27]
Pastor Greg Denham
Right?
- [116:27]
Pastor James Cadiz
He was going to young men and he was saying, hey, listen, if you say that there's no good women left out there, it's because you're not attracting them. You haven't made yourself anybody to be able to attract them. If, if you're running around saying, you know, I can't buy a home. I can't do this, I can't do that, it's, it's Israel's fault, or it's, you know, the economy's fault, or it's this fault or that fault, you can blame anything you want. Well, the reality of it is, in the world that we live in today, it's nobody's fault except your own. And, and, and what Charlie was saying is, if you spend more time making yourself to be what God wants you to be, to become honorable, to become admirable, to seek out the family which creates your motivation to do what you want to do, to become that person who no longer lives for the video game in the basement and actually chooses to live for another human being and make other human beings and live an admirable life, to experience something great. That's where abundance begins to come in. That's where generational wealth comes into play. And those aren't bad words. And that's where God's true riches come into hand. And that's what Charlie was doing. Charlie was teaching kids that what you can do is you can break all that. By the way, it's so interesting. An overwhelming majority of those that are college age actually believed every word of what Charlie was saying. It was the ones that were in college that had to be taught that by Charlie. And. And the idea is, is that the devil hated it. The devil hated it. And that's why his agents right now online are more focused on destroying the message. And I think that this is something very important to understand. The memorial service happens after Charlie goes to be with the Lord. You have all these amazing things that begin to take place. And what does the enemy do? The enemy immediately starts getting everybody to focus on what we no longer have. It started with a few people talking about, let's investigate what happened with this, and let's investigate what happened with that, and let's look into this, and let's look into that. And the one thing that they did is exactly what the enemy caused Adam and Eve to do. In the garden of everything, in every tree of the garden, you may freely eat. So instead of focusing on every tree of the garden and having the ability to freely eat it, what did you focus on? The one thing that you don't have access to. And that's what the enemy did here. Hundreds and millions of people heard the gospel at that memorial service. There was a real, true and steady revival that was taking place. And yet the destroyers, who felt compelled by the inspiration of the God of this world, chose to teach everybody to focus on what we no longer had. And the very moment you focus on what you no longer had, you begin to get into all the other crazy minutiae that created the condition that we're facing right now. And what Erica is doing, and forgive me for getting on a soapbox, I think I should point this out. What I know, because I'm very proud of Erica, is she's focused on everything that God gave her and her husband. And I think that that was the message that Charlie was giving. Charlie was like, look, stop focusing on this tax policy, that tax policy, what you don't have here, stop focusing on all that. Get out of your basement and go do something special. Get out there and change the world. And the moment you start changing the world, the mind rocks. That is right now, with this culture, will go away. You'll stop blaming everybody. You'll start actually saying, it was me, it was the destroyer, it was the enemy that spoke to my heart. And I listened to him. I listened to the lie, and I ended up doing the wrong thing. And I almost lost everything. I lost the future family. I lost my children. And think about It. The enemy hates it. There are still people today looking at what Erica has, not what she had, what she has, and they hate it. They're jealous. They're jealous. They. They hate it. Why? Because it's a genuine and sincere work of the spirit of God. And people hate it. Who are inspired by the Father of lies. And I think that that's a really important thing to bring out here.
- [120:48]
Erica Kirk
Yeah.
- [120:48]
Pastor James Cadiz
And I'm sorry, I got on a. So I just felt the need to bring it up.
- [120:51]
Pastor Greg Denham
Well, she's a daughter of the king. That's who she is. She's a daughter of the king.
- [120:56]
Erica Kirk
I love you guys. We're gonna do one quick last question since this is a topic of actually prayer and praying, and then we'll wrap it up, and I'll have Pastor Greg do a prayer to close us with. But there's three questions that are all very similar. One's from Laura and the other one's from Patty. The other one's from Richard, and it's all dealing with prayer. First question. I am new to reading the Bible and being a Christian. The best way to. What is the best way to pray to God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit? When would I talk? Pray to the Holy Spirit versus Jesus. How exactly do I pray? I seem to be repeating the same thing every time I do it. Keep my children safe, my family healthy, and continue to guide me in my spiritual journey. Stuff like that. I'm just not sure if there is more I should be saying. It's a new practice for me, and I'm not sure the best way to go about it. And finally, Richard says, I am unclear on how to best develop a prayerful relationship with my creator, Our Lord Jesus is easiest for me to visualize due to his taking human form and the many New Testament passages about Him. Yet so many fellow Christians pray to Father God. How does the Holy Spirit fit into prayer? Help me clarify this. And that'll be our final question for April as we wrap it up here.
- [122:11]
Pastor Greg Denham
Beautiful. Beautiful.
- [122:13]
Pastor James Cadiz
Yeah. So the biblical pattern on who you pray to is God the Father. That is done through Jesus. The Bible says that when Christ was crucified on the cross, he said to Talistai, it is finished. The veil in the temple was, which means we have direct access to God because the holy of holies is no longer blocked. So we pray to the Father. That's done through Jesus. And we are led by the Holy Spirit in our prayers. So. So that is the. That is the biblical pattern here. And Jesus even says it. He tells us how to do it. He says, our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. He's not telling us to repeat those exact words. He's giving us direction on the very thing that we should pray for. And that speaks directly to the question that, that Laura and Richard have. Now, as far as the question that Patty has, look, you say, am I praying wrong? Because I repeat the same things. Look, the, the short answer here is no, you're not doing it wrong. What you're describing is actually very normal. And by the way, especially when you're starting to do it for the first time, repetition is never going to be the problem. It's emptiness. So, so if you get to the point where you're just saying the same prayer, you get into the vain repetition category and the question is, can you say something just, you know, autonomously and not even think about it? Then you've got to stop and really slow down and think about what you're saying. And I think that that's really, really important. But by the way, your current prayers are really good. You're praying for your children, you're praying for your family's health, you're praying for guidance. Those are all really good things.
- [123:42]
Pastor Greg Denham
Well, I was going to say, I mean, every night Stephanie and I pray, to be frank with you, I bring all of our children before the Lord and grandchildren and Erica and the babies. I mean, so it's pretty repetitive, right? I'm bringing loved ones before the Lord. I think of our church, I think of other things, but I would just say too, look, the Father wants us to bring our pain to him, because I think of the Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane. And I mean, you're talking transparent, right? I mean, Jesus may sound a little weird to say this, but Jesus was definitely in touch with his feelings, both publicly. Just thinking of coming into Jerusalem, he's not only a little misty eyed, here he is convulsing in prayer, concerned about the trajectory of Israel, their future, and he guaranteed their future, by the way, on the cross. That's part of the new covenant. But I would just. My point is this is that, look, there are some things that we carry and there's some burdens that we carry that are not appropriate so much to bring to our fellow loved ones. I mean, I don't bring every concern and every burden to my precious bride because I know it would burden her, but we have a great papa. So I just want to encourage everybody listening. Seriously, let me just say this. Are you carrying any pain? Are you burdened because our Father wants us to bring those burdens to him, to, like, we can listen to me articulate them. Like, seriously, like, what are the burdens you're carrying? What is the pain you're carrying? Articulate, like, Lord, I'm concerned. I have fear. You know, I'm worried about this. I'm worried about that. He wants us to bring those things to him. He guarantees that he will meet us there and provide the grace that we need in. In our time of need. So that. That's one way to deepen our. Our prayer life is to articulate just as the. As the Lord did in the Garden of Gethsemane. Like, you know, father, if it be your word, let this cup pass for me. That's no small thing. That cup, I'm convinced in its context, is the very cup he was referencing in the Passover Seder. And there's another way of redemption, the reach in mankind. I'm open for it, but not my will. But your will be done. So, I mean. I mean, and all the guys out there, really, seriously on your knees, you know, are you scared? Are you carrying burdens? Fearful. Bring it before our Papa, our great heavenly Father. He'll meet us there, as he did our Lord Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I would just. Just encourage you on that.
- [126:27]
Erica Kirk
Beautiful Y. Okay. That was powerful. That was a Great Bible. And 365 Q&A. I've missed it. It's good to be back with you guys.
- [126:35]
Pastor Greg Denham
Oh, Erica, you're exceptional. We love you so, so much.
- [126:39]
Erica Kirk
We love you.
- [126:39]
Pastor Greg Denham
So proud of you. James, great job. I just want to say, hey, listen, I'm the oldest part here. I'm the grandpa, so I get to say I get a little extra liberty. Great job, James. Great job. Erica Kirk, I love you.
- [126:53]
Erica Kirk
Go ahead. Let's finish off in prayer.
- [126:56]
Pastor Greg Denham
Okay. Father. Father, we love you. And we're just thinking of all those who ask questions and a lot of burdens, and you know them and see them and just on the other side of the other side of these microphones, Lord, you are totally present. So we pray for all those who ask those questions and all who are listening. This would be an extraordinary season of a continued awakening and revival in our lives. We thank you so much for the Kirk family. Thank you. You're always present. We ask your continued protection, giving Erica great wisdom in her leadership. Thank you. That you have and will continue to do so. But I just want to pray finally. Just thinking of all those reading the scriptures. Thank you. You've said Lord, if you continue in your word you will be your disciples will know the truth. The truth will set you free. Thank you, thank you, thank you for that And I just pray Lord there would be an awakening of commitment to the reading of your word all throughout the world. We thank you that that's actually taking place as this ministry is impacting all throughout the world. We thank you. We thank you. We miss Charlie. We love you. In Jesus name amen.
- [128:06]
Erica Kirk
Amen. All right, God bless you guys. We will see you next month for our live Bible in 365Q&A. If you do have questions between now and then feel free to submit them and we will hopefully include them in our next Q and A since we have hopefully one every month. But God bless you guys. Thank you for everything and keep fighting to stay in the word. We'll see you next month.
- [128:26]
Pastor Greg Denham
Amen.