Product Therapy: "Coaching How to Coach"
Podcast: Product Therapy
Host: Christian Idiodi (SVPG)
Guest: Gabi Buffram (SVPG)
Date: October 30, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Christian Idiodi sits down with Gabi Buffram, a globally respected product coach at SVPG, to explore the art of coaching in product leadership. They discuss what truly distinguishes coaching from mentoring, advising, and management; how coaches unlock potential without prescribing solutions; and practical techniques for building trust and enabling profound transformation. Through candid roleplays and real-world experience, they show how coaching can profoundly impact not just teams, but the individuals within them.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. What Is a Coach? (01:18–04:31)
- Gabi’s Definition: Her clients describe her as a coach, advisor, and cheerleader. She helps clients see what they can't, offers support and shortcuts when relevant, and cheers them on to win.
- Coaching vs. Mentoring vs. Advising vs. Management:
- Mentoring: "They bring you a problem, you help them, you give them some advice... but it is just at that level." (02:54)
- Advising: "You're really giving advice like you've done something before and you can show people how you've done it." (03:30)
- Coaching: "You are enabling people to actually see how they can get to their best potential. You are giving them perspective... asking them the questions they might never have wanted to answer but will really unlock different possibilities." (04:06)
- Christian’s Framing: Mentors share expertise; coaches have skin in the game and are only as successful as their clients’ growth.
2. Journey Into Coaching (07:08–09:31)
- Inspired by her mom, a psychologist noted for transforming clients’ lives.
- Early management experience taught her the value of coaching; a transformative course helped her realize the reciprocal personal growth in coaching.
- "You change every time you help someone else." (08:03)
- Encouraged by mentors like Marty Cagan, she pivoted fully into coaching.
3. Why Do (Great) Leaders Need Coaches? (09:31–15:13)
- Even experienced leaders benefit from a coach’s outside perspective.
- "I realized how little perspective I had...there's no way I could have really gotten perspective [alone]." (10:12) — Gabi
- The world’s best athletes have coaches not because they need them, but because they deserve the support to keep growing.
- "Doing something is different from getting better at something." (12:10) — Christian
4. Building Trust & the Importance of Listening (15:13–20:10)
- Trust is foundational: “Without trust, you don't have anything.”
- Caring about what matters to clients, showing genuine interest in their lives.
- Accelerated rapport: “We need to get to 10 years of getting to know someone in like, an hour.” (15:40)
- Demonstrating care comes down to remembering, showing up, and acknowledging their dreams and fears — "You talk about things that are big. You talk about their dreams, you talk about their fears." (16:57)
Notable Quote:
"People don't care how much you know until they know that you care." — Christian (16:48)
5. The Vulnerable Space of Coaching (18:22–22:09)
- Effective coaching creates a safe, honest environment where vulnerability is encouraged and growth is possible.
- Coaching is for practicing and reflecting, not performance.
- Setting Rules of Engagement: Gabby customizes expectations, asking, “What is helpful to you? What do you want from me? How do you like to be kept accountable?” (20:10)
- Leaves space for “magic”: “Let’s leave some space for magic.” (21:16)
6. Coaching in Practice: Roleplays & Scenarios (27:18–40:23)
-
Feedback Scenario (27:18–28:42):
- Gabby illustrates how real coaching is about asking clarifying questions, guiding clients to reflect, and not judging.
- Key Technique: Guiding discovery: "What were you trying to do with this statement?" (27:18)
- Judgment reserved: "You're kind of guiding me to the discovery of an alternative..." — Christian (28:42)
- Gabby illustrates how real coaching is about asking clarifying questions, guiding clients to reflect, and not judging.
-
Product Vision Scenario (30:12–31:58):
- Gabby helps a client discover the essence of product vision through inquiry, not dictation.
- "I am not the right person to write the vision for you because you're the one that's thinking." (31:21)
-
Difficult Stakeholder Scenario (33:46–37:04):
- Empathy first: “I can see that you are very frustrated by this. Why does it irritate you?” (33:46)
- Encourages building relationships beyond roles—know the person behind the job.
Memorable Analogy: Tennis vs. Fresco Ball
"One is tennis... you're playing to win. Winning means the other person loses, right? And then there is a different game...fresco ball... your entire goal is to rally with the person. You're hitting the ball so the other person can respond." (37:04)
Coaching communication should keep the rally alive, not smash winners.
7. Coaching Leaders vs. Individual Contributors (40:23–42:13)
- Leaders: Product is their people; coaching them teaches them to coach others—“They become a multiplier.”
- ICs/Teams: Focus on technical/product skills: discovery, execution.
- The topics, goals, and impact ripple effects are different.
8. Measuring Coaching Success (42:13–43:50)
- Success = clients achieving the goals set together.
- Bonus “butterfly effect” outcomes: clients grow in unexpected ways, their personal lives improve.
- Story: a client’s spouse wanted to “gift” coaching — sign of profound impact.
Notable Quote:
"When people start being able to do things that they weren't able to do before, or they start telling you that they've changed in areas of their life that you were even like...wow...that, for me, is the one that gets me, honestly, the most emotional." — Gabby (43:17)
9. Legacy and the Multiplier Effect (43:50–46:16)
- The true measure of coaching: not what people take, but what they pass on.
- “The graduation gift for anybody that has been coached for me is in what they are able to pass on to another person.” — Christian (44:53)
Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)
- “You are enabling people to actually see how they can get to their best potential. You are giving them perspective. You are challenging them. You're asking them the questions they might never have wanted to answer...”
— Gabby Buffram (04:06) - “Doing something is different from getting better at something.”
— Christian Idiodi (12:10) - “People don't care how much you know until they know that you care.”
— Christian Idiodi (16:48) - “Let’s leave some space for magic.”
— Gabby Buffram (21:16) - “One is tennis... you're playing to win. Winning means the other person loses, right? And then there is a different game...fresco ball... your entire goal is to rally with the person.”
— Gabby Buffram (37:04) - “The graduation gift for anybody that has been coached for me is in what they are able to pass on to another person...”
— Christian Idiodi (44:53)
Timestamps of Key Segments
| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | What is coaching? Definitions | 01:18–04:31 | | Coaching vs. Mentoring, Advising, Management | 02:44–04:31 | | Gabi’s coaching journey | 07:08–09:31 | | Why even great leaders benefit from coaching | 09:31–15:13 | | Building trust; listening | 15:13–18:22 | | Vulnerability and safe space for growth | 18:22–22:09 | | Roleplay: Feedback Scenario | 27:18–28:42 | | Roleplay: Product Vision Scenario | 30:12–31:58 | | Roleplay: Human Skill/Stakeholder Scenario | 33:46–37:04 | | Tennis vs. Fresco Ball Analogy | 37:04–38:02 | | Coaching Leaders vs. ICs | 40:23–42:13 | | Measuring Coaching Success | 42:13–43:50 | | The legacy and multiplier effect of coaching | 43:50–46:16 |
Final Thoughts
This episode goes beyond definitions and frameworks, showing what great coaching feels like in real conversations. If you want to improve as a coach, manager, or leader, you’ll find actionable guidance—starting with radical empathy, incisive questioning, and the creation of safe spaces for genuine growth. The legacy of great coaching isn’t just better outcomes or products; it’s the exponential benefit felt across careers and generations.
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