Owning a business of any kind impacts your life and relationships.

In this episode of the #DoorGrowShow, property management growth experts talk about marriage, relationships, and how these things correlate with having a property management business.

You’ll Learn

[02:03] Owning a business impacts your relationships

[07:45] You have to be selfish sometimes

[11:10] Why people pleasing is harmful

[14:13] Masculine and Feminine frames

[24:51] Leveling up in business and your relationships

Tweetables

“In business, you don't want to be the needy, pleasy guy running a property management business, trying to please every tenant, trying to please every business owner.”

“I think as a business owner, you, there is part of you that has to be selfish and you have to be comfortable with being selfish because there is a time and a place for it.”

“If you do not take care of yourself, you are not going to have energy to then continue to take care of other people.”

“Ironically, the more you are trying to please somebody, the less they value you.”

Resources

DoorGrow and Scale Mastermind

TalkRoute Referral Link

Transcript

[00:00:00] Jason: In business, you don't want to be the needy, pleasy guy running a property management business, trying to please every tenant, trying to please every business owner.

[00:00:08] Welcome DoorGrow property managers to the DoorGrow show. If you are a property management entrepreneur that wants to add doors, make a difference, increase revenue, help others, impact lives, and you're interested in growing in business and life, and you are open to doing things a bit differently, then you are a DoorGrow property manager.

[00:00:29] DoorGrow property managers love the opportunities, daily variety, unique challenges, and freedom that property management brings many in real estate think you're crazy for doing it. You think they're crazy for not because you realize that property management is the ultimate, high trust gateway to real estate deals, relationships, and residual income. At DoorGrow, we are on a mission to transform property management business owners and their businesses. We want to transform the industry, eliminate the BS. Build awareness, change perception, expand the market, and help the best property management entrepreneurs win. We're your hosts property management growth experts, Jason and Sarah Hull the owners of DoorGrow.

[00:01:11] Now Let's get into the show.

[00:01:14] All right, so today's topic, we're going to chat a little bit about marriage. So let's talk about it. We're going to tell a little bit about marriage. Those that have followed my journey over the years have probably seen that I've been divorced. I've gone through struggles in marriage. I've learned things the hard way. Some of y'all probably been married forever like my parents. I have amazing parents and they were a great example of just loving each other from the beginning forever.

[00:01:44] They've been married for, I don't know, like 50 years or something.

[00:01:48] Sarah: Almost. 49.

[00:01:50] Jason: Yeah. Yeah. I think

[00:01:52] Sarah: this year is going to be 47. So they're like going to be 50.

[00:01:55] Jason: I think they got married two years before they had me. So yeah.

[00:01:58] Sarah: They celebrate it though, but they're still in Australia.

[00:02:01] Jason: Yeah. So my parents, they just love each other.

[00:02:03] But one of the things that I think it's been coming up a lot, I've been noticing a lot of clients as I go deeper with them and they kind of open up especially the guys like relationships are a struggle. It's a challenge. I think it's difficult. It can be difficult for entrepreneurs. I think it's difficult for the women entrepreneurs because in a lot of ways you have to kind of step into sort of a masculine frame to run a business. And that creates an interesting dynamic in a relationship. And this is in general. Some women out there, maybe you don't want a masculine guy. Maybe you don't want a guy that leads. Maybe you don't want a guy that initiates stuff. Maybe you don't want to be able to let your hair down after work and like have him kind of take the reins and like plan something and take you on a date. I think a lot of women do. A lot of women appreciate that. Even the ones that are running businesses and showing up in a masculine sort of frame and being kind of dominant in leadership and displaying these things, they would like to have somebody else take the lead. Is this accurate do you think or no?

[00:03:03] Sarah: Yeah, well. You think it's different.

[00:03:05] Jason: You've run your own business.

[00:03:06] You've been kind of in that frame.

[00:03:08] Sarah: I'm a very masculine woman.

[00:03:11] Jason: Yeah, in some ways I think you've consistently since we've been together.

[00:03:15] Sarah: I look very feminine. I do it's deceiving. Yeah.

[00:03:19] Jason: Yeah, I think since we've been together, you've consistently stepped more and more into your feminine and I've stepped more and more into my masculine I think has kind of been a trend.

[00:03:29] Would you say that's accurate?

[00:03:30] Sarah: It could be. I don't know. I think you've probably more recently been focused on that. I can't say, I really cannot say, oh, I've ever been focused on.

[00:03:41] Jason: I don't think you've been focused on it. I just think.

[00:03:44] Sarah: I'm just living life.

[00:03:45] Jason: Yeah, you're just living life and this is the thing.

[00:03:48] Sarah: I'm just going about shit, doing my thing.

[00:03:50] Jason: She's not as conscious of it probably because I think this is something that men, if you are the leader and leading, you should be conscious of this. And women, when men are kind of taking that leadership role, women respond to that, and it's natural. Like, I've noticed it in Sarah, she's not even probably super aware of it, but there's behaviors and things that have kind of shifted.

[00:04:15] And so, the way it'll show up for a woman in this, in a relationship like that, as a man stepping more into leadership and into his masculine role, she will generally, over time, feel calmer. There'll be probably less fights, probably less explosions, you know, things like this. And the guy will be like letting go of some of the needy, whiny, pleasy, weak behavior that's kind of gross to women.

[00:04:39] Does this sound accurate?

[00:04:40] Sarah: That is, yeah, that is gross.

[00:04:42] Jason: Yeah.

[00:04:42] Sarah: To me, anyway, I cannot speak for all women.

[00:04:45] Jason: Yeah.

[00:04:45] Sarah: To me, it's gross.

[00:04:47] Jason: Ironically, when women are showing up kind of more in a masculine frame, they sometimes bring that out in guys. Like the guys think, Oh no, there's a problem. I got to please more.

[00:04:57] And so it kind of creates this weird, gross spiral in relationship. And so, which I've experienced in past relationships. Right. And so the man needs to kind of. shift and lead out of that. And so I've been noticing this in clients. And so, this is something that I've been paying a lot of attention to.

[00:05:14] A lot of guys show up in a feminine frame because we've been raised by our moms. Maybe you had a loving mom. She took care of you. Maybe she didn't. And she wasn't really a great mom, maybe but either way, that feminine influence towards pleasing has a strong impact on the male psyche, which puts us into kind of a growing up with kind of a feminine frame. If we don't have a really strong sort of masculine walled stoic father, you know, and there's really great book I would recommend for men that want to kind of eliminate that feminine frame that they're carrying around.

[00:05:49] It's called shattering the feminine frame by Jerr, J E R R. It's really hard to find, so you may have to search for it on Google, because if you search for it on Amazon, even though it's there, Amazon won't let you see it. I don't know why. It's super weird. You may not be able to find it. Sometimes searches on some of the books by Jerr don't show up when I search for them.

[00:06:11] His main book that he puts out there, I can find, and then I have to go to the author, click on the author name, and then find his other books to find some of these books. I don't, it's really weird, but you might be able to find it through Google.

[00:06:23] Sarah: Maybe it's just you. It could be just you. It'd be an interesting test.

[00:06:27] Maybe everybody else, even though.

[00:06:30] Jason: I bought multiple copies of the book and sent them to guys. So Jason gets blocked on every...