Proxy with Yowei Shaw
Episode: Presenting: Sisters (with No One Should Believe Me)
Aired: March 31, 2026
Episode Overview
This special episode of Proxy spotlights the podcast Nobody Should Believe Me by Andrea Dunlop, examining the deeply complex and emotionally fraught subject of Munchausen by proxy (now clinically termed Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another). Through personal narrative and investigative storytelling, Andrea discusses her sister's suspected involvement in such a case and its devastating impact on their family. The episode explores the confusion, pain, and search for answers that characterizes families torn apart by medical child abuse, and how talking to others with similar experiences—the 'proxies'—can offer insight, validation, and some measure of healing.
Key Discussion Points
1. Emotional Isolation and the Power of ‘Proxy’
- Yowei Shaw introduces the concept of proxy—talking to someone who’s lived close enough to your situation to help you feel less alone.
- “It’s not therapy—it’s emotional investigative journalism.” (00:55)
- Yowei explains her own experience of job loss and the value of connecting with others who understood, setting the thematic stage for the episode.
2. Introducing Andrea Dunlop and Her Family’s Story
- Andrea describes her sister being investigated twice for suspected Munchausen by proxy, a fact that fractured the family and left lasting trauma.
- “Everything that has happened with my sister has had a huge impact on my life, and this podcast is really about me looking for answers.” (05:37)
- She outlines her aims: to understand not only the clinical aspects of the disorder but also its ripple effects on loved ones.
3. Defining Munchausen by Proxy (MBP)
- Andrea provides a working definition of MBP, and Dr. Mark Feldman further elucidates diagnostic distinctions:
- Medical child abuse: A caregiver fabricates, exaggerates, or induces illness in a child.
- Factitious disorder imposed on another: The clinical diagnosis (in the DSM); rarely assigned except post-conviction.
- Malingering: Similar behaviors for external gain (not emotional gratification).
- Notably, even in well-known cases (Dee Dee Blanchard), clinical diagnoses are rare.
- Dr. Mark Feldman:
- “When the person is feigning, exaggerating, or inducing illness in another person, we refer to it as Munchausen by proxy… Paramount because it's a form of child abuse.” (08:27)
4. Understanding the Psychology and Mysteries of Motivation
- Andrea discusses the “dopamine rush” associated with MBP: the drive for attention and emotional gratification.
- “It's a maladaptive coping mechanism that people use to get attention that they feel they need and can't get otherwise.” (09:50)
- Why someone develops MBP remains elusive; explanations often emerge only in retrospect.
5. Parallels between Families: The Hope Ybarra Case
- Andrea draws parallels between her family and the Ybarra family, especially after reading Diana Boyd’s reporting on Hope Ybarra (a convicted MBP perpetrator).
- Interviews with Hope’s sister Robyn, her father Paul, and brother Nick illuminate the progression and confusion inherent in such cases:
- Robyn: “She was like the perfect sister… she just carried [the responsibility].” (12:43)
- Paul: “We didn’t really notice anything … Everything was cool.” (13:40)
- Nick: “She was doing well... She was kind of an inspiration for me.” (14:00)
6. Early Signs: Unexplained Illnesses and Family Doubt
- Both Hope and Andrea’s sisters displayed mysterious medical issues in adolescence:
- Hope’s father Paul: “She couldn’t walk… she was in a wheelchair for a couple months… Two or three doctors say there’s nothing wrong with her.” (16:57)
- Andrea: “My sister had the same thing at the same age… and I still don’t know how many of my sister’s ailments … were real and how many were fabricated.” (18:06)
- A key incident: Andrea’s sister shaved her own hair and pretended it was falling out—a rare moment of confirmed fabrication. (18:44)
7. The Progression: From Adolescence to Adult Patterns
- Hope’s “miraculous recoveries” (from seizures and paraplegia) and similar incidents in Andrea’s family reveal a cycle: health crises, intense caregiving, sudden improvement.
- Robyn: “Her miraculous recovery came about her senior year… she managed to regain her ability to walk just in time to be able to walk across the stage.” (19:51)
- Hope goes to college, starts a family, experiences crises (preterm labor, severe injuries), and her family rallies—unaware of the emerging deception.
8. The Pivotal Twin Pregnancy Fabrication
- Both families encounter a nearly identical and harrowing lie: the claim of being pregnant with twins, followed by reports of loss.
- Andrea: “She told us that she was having twins… Then she lost the babies. And I was so sad… and then things started to unravel really quickly.” (24:10)
- Andrea’s skepticism grows after inconsistent stories and confirmation from others that the pregnancies were faked.
- Robyn (Hope’s sister): “The twins that she lost were Alexandria and Alexia… We mourned these babies. The final deciding factor is my mom found the urn, and she opened up the urn, and it was empty.” (28:18)
9. Complex Grief, Estrangement, and the Search for Closure
- Andrea closes with profound reflections on estrangement and longing for reconciliation:
- “For me, the thing that I could never do and that I do not foresee having an opportunity to do… is to sit down with my sister and say, ‘I can help you.’” (28:54)
- She acknowledges the painful hope that her sister might one day reach out for support.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Andrea Dunlop:
- “So much of what doctors base everything off of is what the patient’s reporting their pain to be.” (19:22)
- Robyn (Hope’s sister):
- “That’s scary.” (15:52) (responding to uncanny similarities across families)
- Andrea Dunlop:
- “I put my hand on her belly and felt the baby kick. And I now know that wasn’t real—but my experience was real, and I don’t even know what to do with that.” (28:00)
- Robyn:
- “We mourned these babies. The final deciding factor is my mom found the urn, and she opened up the urn, and it was empty.” (28:18)
- Andrea Dunlop:
- “One of the things I’ve really wrestled with in this podcast that I didn’t even realize I was holding onto is this hope that I’ll do this—and she’ll hear it and say, ‘I’m exhausted. I want to come home. Help me come home.’” (28:54)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:55 – Yowei Shaw introduces the power of having a proxy
- 03:16 – Content warning and Andrea introduces her background, her motivation for the podcast
- 05:37 – Andrea outlines her sister’s investigations and their effects
- 08:27 – Dr. Mark Feldman explains MBP and related disorders
- 09:50 – Andrea on psychological drivers of MBP; why people seek attention
- 12:43 – Robyn describes Hope as a child and sister dynamics
- 16:57 – First signs: Hope’s unexplained health events and family responses
- 18:06 – Andrea recounts her own sister’s similar behaviors in adolescence
- 19:51 – Robyn recounts Hope’s “miraculous recovery” in high school
- 20:40 – Hope’s transition to adulthood, motherhood, and escalation
- 22:44 – Hope appears to have it all; cracks begin to show as dynamics shift
- 24:10 – The fake twin pregnancies in both families and the unraveling
- 28:00 – The emotional reality of grieving for people who never existed
- 28:54 – Andrea’s grief, estrangement, and unresolved longing for connection
Tone and Style
The episode blends journalistic inquiry with raw, personal storytelling. Andrea is candid about the pain of not knowing what is true, the pitfall of misplaced trust when reality unravels, and the aching hope that her work might someday help to heal her family. The interviews with other families create a tapestry of shared sorrow and searching, heightened by the chilling mirroring of details.
Conclusion
This episode offers an intimate yet investigative look at the bewildering, isolating world of Munchausen by proxy—through lived experience, clinical insight, and the solace of shared stories. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in the complexities of familial trust, the limits of empathy, and the desperate search for answers in the aftermath of invisible abuse.