Podcast
Psychologists Off the Clock
Hosted by Debbie Sorensen, Jill Stoddard, Yael Schonbrun, Michael Herold & Emily Edlynn · EN
We are five experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.
45episodes
Episodes
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421. Defy with Sunita Sah
Aug 1901:02:25Tap to summarizeSometimes saying “yes” too much can really take a toll on you. In this episode, Jill chats with Dr. Sunita Sah, a bestselling author and Cornell professor, about her book Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. They break down how constant compliance can affect your emotions, mind, and body, and share strategies for recognizing when it’s time to push back. Sunita introduces the concept of a ‘Defiance Compass’ to help guide people in acting according to their values. You’ll also learn about the difference between going along with something and truly giving consent, how anxiety can arise in difficult situations, and why practicing small acts of defiance can prepare you for bigger, high-stakes moments. Listen and Learn: How can redefining "defiance" from a negative act of resistance to an alignment with true values help us better understand the balance between compliance, consent, and social pressure?Why is defiance better understood as a staged process on a continuum rather than a simple yes/no choice, and how does recognizing tension help us navigate compliance?Distinguishing between true expert intuition and bias-driven gut feelings when making decisions in uncertain situationsWhy is it so difficult for people to resist compliance and obedience in high-pressure situations, and how can practicing defiance help us prepare to say no and prevent harm?How can we recognize the difference between true consent and mere compliance, and what essential elements are needed to ensure a genuine "yes"?Navigating situations where we technically have the freedom to say no, but psychological pressures like insinuation anxiety or fear of consequences make it difficult to speak upHow do insinuation anxiety and the sales pitch effect interact to increase pressure to comply, even when consent is technically present?Overcoming the tension and fear of non-compliance to act in alignment with our values using tools like the Defiance CompassHow you can practice defiance as a skillResources:Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593445778Sunita’s Website: https://www.sunitasah.com/Connect with Sunita on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/drsunitasahhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drsunitasah/https://www.tiktok.com/@drsunitasah About Sunita SahDr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business.Dr. Sah is also a sought-after international speaker and consultant, an advisor to government agencies, and a former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media outlets, including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.Related Episodes:211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber399. Likable Badass with Alison FragaleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →420. Emotion-Savvy Parenting with Alissa Jerud
Aug 13, 202501:10:28Tap to summarizeParenting often means walking a fine line between setting boundaries and showing warmth, all while managing your own feelings in the process. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily chats with Dr. Alissa Jerud about her book Emotion-Savvy Parenting and how recognizing and working with both your emotions and your child’s can build stronger connections and a calmer home life.Dr. Jerud shares her approach, Emotion Savvy Parenting, which draws from evidence-based methods such as exposure-based treatments and dialectical behavior therapy skills. She breaks down what makes up our emotional experiences, offers tools like the CARE skills for navigating intense situations, and explores topics such as the limits of gentle parenting, why mid-meltdown logic usually falls flat, and how differing parenting styles between caregivers can create challenges.Listen and Learn: How can parents respond skillfully and effectively to their children while managing their own strong and uncomfortable emotions?Combining respectful parenting and evidence-based therapies to help parents manage their own emotions, maintain firm limits, and model emotional regulation for their childrenThe ways parents navigate the gray areas and overlaps between gentle parenting and autonomy-supportive parenting while avoiding the black-and-white thinking often seen on social mediaParents often step in to fix their child’s struggles, but noticing and accepting their emotions and behaviors as they are can help children build resilience and support more effective parentingThe primary and secondary ingredients of emotions, their triggers, how thoughts shape them, and how they show up physically and behaviorally, help parents regulate their own emotions by targeting these different aspects of feelingsQuick, practical ways to manage intense emotions by regulating the body’s physiological responseWhy rigid beliefs that children must always obey can create frustration and disconnect, while accepting their emotions and allowing authentic expression supports both kids’ and parents’ emotional well-beingThe importance of accepting and validating a child’s emotions during emotional storms rather than trying to immediately fix or suppress themRecognizing that each child’s emotional needs are unique, and effective parenting often means staying present and supportive without trying to immediately fix or validate the emotionResources: Alissa’s Website: https://www.alissajerud.com/ Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781032544946 Connect with Alissa on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/emotionsavvydoc/?hl=enhttps://www.facebook.com/emotionsavvydoc/https://www.linkedin.com/in/alissa-jerud-210764174 Emily’s Articles:What’s Wrong with Gentle Parenting? Psychology TodayThe Truth About Parents Who Yell at Their Kids, Psychology TodayAbout Alissa JerudAlissa Jerud, Ph.D. is a mom of two kids, a licensed clinical psychologist, a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Washington and completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Dr. Jerud specializes in exposure-based treatments for anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training and particularly enjoys helping other parents learn research-backed strategies for accepting, regulating, and tolerating their emotions, as well as their children's. Dr. Jerud also trains other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small.Related Episodes386. Parents Are Stressed: What Do We Do About It? 373. How to Stop Freaking Out with Carla Naumburg344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon240. Talking to Kids and Teens About Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance149. How to Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla Naumburg14. Mindful Parenting9. Children’s Emotions: Understanding and Responding to Your Child’s EmotionsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →419. Break Up on Purpose with John Kim
Aug 5, 202500:51:31Tap to summarizeIf you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship and wondering whether it’s right for you or you’re recently facing the pain and confusion of a breakup, we invite you to tune into this episode with John Kim, also known as the Angry Therapist, to explore his viewpoint on relationship endings. John lays out how breakups or ‘relationship expirations’ as he coins them, can serve as powerful catalysts to kickstart your own personal growth, and highlights the importance of self-reflection, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection with yourself and others. Speaking from his own experiences, as well as insights and stories from his latest book, Breakup on Purpose, you’ll hear why John sees breakups as not just painful endings but meaningful rites of passage that can offer space to learn and evolve. Listen and Learn:Breakups, while painful, can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth when approached with reflection and ownershipShifting how we view breakups from failures to “expired relationships” helps us embrace healing and rewrite the narrative around endingsHow to balance knowing when to work through relationship challenges versus when it’s healthy to walk awayWhy breakups are a natural rite of passage and essential for personal growthWhy humility and self-reflection are essential but often difficult steps toward personal growthHealing from a breakup involves embracing the pain with compassion, finding purpose beyond the relationship, and transforming personal loss into growth and a greater meaningful journeyHow society places too much importance on romantic love as the sole source of meaning and fulfillment and elying on one romantic partner to fulfill all needs is unrealistic and sets people up for disappointmentBreakups have distinctive types that require different responses and healing strategiesHow to balance self-comfort with avoiding behaviors that hinder healing after a breakup by setting personal limits and gradually re-engaging with lifeThe importance of meaningful connection, whether through community, close relationships, or personal passions, as a vital part of recovery, especially for introvertsThe cycle of rupture and repair in relationships is essential, teaching us how to build deeper connection, resilience, and emotional safetyResources:John’s Website: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/John’s Books: Break Up On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063275331 Single On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780062980731 Connect with John on Socials: https://www.facebook.com/john.kim.1650/https://www.linkedin.com/in/theangrytherapisthttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316488877 Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780807060100 About John KimJohn Kim, widely known as 'The Angry Therapist.' John is a licensed therapist, engaging speaker, fellow podcaster, and best-selling author whose works include 'It's Not Me, It's You,' 'Single. On Purpose,' and 'I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck.' What makes John's approach unique is how he shares therapeutic wisdom through his blog and Instagram, using authenticity and transparency to connect with and support people on their personal journeys.Related Episodes:117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A Conversation about Grief with Joanne Cacciatore126. Surviving Break-Ups and Divorce: How to Mend a Broken Heart, with Debbie and Yael186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab249. How to be Single and Happy with Jenny Taitz343. Heartbreak with Florence WilliamsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg
Feb 5, 2025Tap to summarizeEver had a conversation that just clicked—where you felt truly heard and understood? What if you could create that kind of connection more often?Best-selling author Charles Duhigg joins Debbie in a conversation about his latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Discover the psychology of great conversations, the power of reciprocal vulnerability, and easy strategies for handling difficult conversations without losing control as we break down what makes some people exceptional communicators and how we can all cultivate those abilities in our daily lives.Whether your goal is to improve your listening skills, build stronger relationships, or simply feel more comfortable in social settings, this episode is full of ideas to help you connect more deeply.Listen and Learn: How "Supercommunicators" master connection The recipe for instant connection and how small shifts in communication can turn strangers into friends The Matching Principle and how syncing conversation types can help strengthen your relationships and connections Why mastering communication is key to lifelong well-being and how stronger connections can lead you to lasting happiness. How you can use the "matching principle" with your own partner to create deeper, more connected conversations Tips for asking deep questions to help you connect more meaningfully and move beyond small talk Shifting control in conflicts to create teamwork and healthier relationships How quiet negotiations can transform tougher conversations into mutual understanding Resources: Charles’ Website: https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Charles’ Book: Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection Connect with Charles on Socials: https://twitter.com/cduhigg https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesduhigg/ https://www.instagram.com/charlesduhigg/ https://www.facebook.com/charlesduhigg Yael’s Washington Post article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/04/19/couples-conversation-communications-understanding-problem-solving/ About Charles Duhigg A graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School, Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and the author of The Power of Habit, which spent over three years on bestseller lists and has been translated into 40 languages, Supercommunicators, also a bestseller published in 2024, and Smarter Faster Better, a third bestseller. Mr. Duhigg writes for The New Yorker magazine and previously wrote for The New York Times.Charles led the New York Times team that won the 2013 Pulitzer prize in explanatory journalism for “The iEconomy,” a series that examined the global economy through the lens of Apple. That series included examinations of such topics as the factories in China where iPhones and iPads are manufactured.Charles has also received The George Polk award, the Gerald Loeb award, the Investigative Reporters and Editors Medal, the Scripps Howard National Journalism award, the Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, and other honors.While a reporter at the Los Angeles Times, Charles reported from Iraq about American military operations. Today, Charles writes for The New Yorker magazine.Before becoming a full-time journalist in 2003, Charles worked as an analyst for American Property Global Partners, a private equity firm and co-founded SWPA Education Management Group, L.L.C., which developed education programs for medically underserved areas.He was also, for one terrifying day in 1999, a bike messenger in San Francisco.He lives in California with his wife and two children.Related Episodes: 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas 360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson 353. Ask Great Questions with Jeff Wetzler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →372. The Art of the Interesting with Lorraine Besser
Sep 11, 2024Tap to summarizeWhat if there's more to happiness and fulfillment than what you've been taught? Speaking about her book The Art of the Interesting, Lorraine Besser questions accepted notions of what constitutes a fulfilling life. She doesn’t just explore happiness and meaning; she challenges their dominance, exposing how chasing these ideals can sometimes leave us feeling empty and disillusioned.Lorraine invites us to consider a different path: pursuing a psychologically rich life. This isn’t about endless joy or a sense of fulfillment that’s always just out of reach. It’s about diving into experiences that are novel, complex, and challenging—experiences that make us think deeply and feel intensely. Drawing from her own life and philosophical reflections, Lorraine shows us how to find interest and meaning in the every day, and she offers practical advice on how to weave psychological richness into the fabric of our lives.This is more than just a conversation; it’s an important call to rethink what it means to live fully.Listen and Learn: Challenging the traditional notions of happiness and meaning as the sole keys to a fulfilling life Why the pursuit of constant happiness is unrealistic and how understanding the limits of pleasure can lead to a more fulfilling and realistic approach to a good life. The elusive nature of fulfillment and why achieving your dreams often leads to unexpected feelings of emptiness The historical evolution of the concept of individual purpose The roles of philosophers and psychologists in exploring happiness The concept of "the interesting" as the third pillar to a fulfilling life How embracing unexpected moments of curiosity and novelty can subtly enrich your life Distinguishing "Mindfulness 2.0" from traditional mindfulness How embracing "psychologically rich moments" can turn your everyday struggles and mundane tasks into powerful opportunities for personal growth and deeper insight Finding "psychologically rich moments" to help you engage with and grow from challenging situations in life How being open and honest in your friendships can transform your connections The biggest misconception about achieving a psychologically rich life Resources: The Art of the Interesting: What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It https://www.instagram.com/lorbesser/?hl=en https://lorrainebesser.com/ https://twitter.com/LorraineBesser https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/lorraine-besser-ph-d/the-art-of-the-interesting/9781538743201/ About Lorraine BesserLorraine Besser, PhD, is a professor of philosophy at Middlebury College, who specializes in the philosophy and psychology of the good life and teaches popular courses for undergraduates on happiness, well-being, and ethics. An internationally recognized scholar, she was a founding investigator on the research team studying psychological richness. She is the author of two academic books (The Philosophy of Happiness: An Interdisciplinary Introduction and Eudaimonic Ethics: The Philosophy and Psychology of Living Well) and dozens of professional journal articles on moral psychology.Related Episodes 351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 336. Mindfulness and Living Expansively with Sharon Salzberg 329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka 328. How to Navigate Change with Brad Stulberg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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