Girl Chat: Adult Friendships, Comparison, Intuitive Eating & Financial Goals w/ Taylor Teichman

Summary

Pursuit of Wellness Episode: Girl Chat: Adult Friendships, Comparison, Intuitive Eating & Financial Goals w/ Taylor Teichman Release Date: March 10, 2025

In this engaging episode of Pursuit of Wellness, host Mari Llewellyn welcomes her close friend Taylor Teichman for an insightful “Girl Chat.” The conversation delves deep into the complexities of adult friendships, the challenges of comparison, the journey toward intuitive eating, and managing financial goals—all within the backdrop of navigating life in one’s 30s. Through honest dialogue and shared experiences, Mari and Taylor offer valuable perspectives and actionable advice for listeners seeking to enhance their personal well-being and relationships.

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1. The Dynamics of Adult Friendships

Mari and Taylor begin by reflecting on their own friendship, highlighting the balance between their differing personalities. Mari describes herself as more spontaneous and quick-decision oriented, while Taylor is grounded and logical.

Mari (00:12): “When I started saying yes and just going and like letting go. Control.”

Taylor (01:36): “Like, you're up in the clouds and I have to bring you back down, period.”

They discuss the importance of proximity in developing deep adult friendships, emphasizing that living in the same city, Austin, has allowed them to build a supportive and dynamic friend group. Both agree that adult friendships require intentional effort, such as regular meetups and open communication.

Taylor (05:57): “It's okay to have friends in different brackets, ... if you want to call it that."

Mari (57:51): “Think of friendships as orbits. ... you can have friends who are on the second or third orbit for sure.”

2. Overcoming the Comparison Trap

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the struggle with feeling inadequate or not having accomplished enough, especially when surrounded by successful peers.

Taylor (37:51): “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Mari (38:45): “I think doing your own thing is important, ... you can't compare yourself to other people at all.”

They emphasize the importance of focusing on personal growth and celebrating individual milestones rather than measuring oneself against others. Both Mari and Taylor advocate for self-compassion and recognizing that success is subjective and varies from person to person.

3. Embracing Intuitive Eating and Nutrition

Transitioning from restrictive diets to intuitive eating is another key topic. Taylor shares her journey from following rigid dietary rules to allowing herself the freedom to enjoy the foods she craves.

Taylor (44:35): “I'm fully, like, an intuitive eater. Like, if I'm craving something and I eat it, the satisfaction that you get ... is amazing.”

Mari echoes this sentiment, discussing her own experiences with food obsession during her weight loss journey and how she learned to balance enjoying quality food with maintaining nutritional awareness.

Mari (46:08): “When you're counting every day, it gets difficult to not get obsessed.”

They advocate for a balanced approach to nutrition, where enjoying high-quality foods and honoring one’s cravings coexist with mindful eating practices.

4. Navigating Financial Goals within Friendships

The duo addresses how differing financial goals and realities can impact friendships. They provide strategies for maintaining harmonious relationships despite these differences.

Taylor (50:16): “I think being able to just be there for them as a friend, that doesn't cost anything, like that's priceless.”

Mari (51:14): “I think just being self-aware ... I didn't really think about it that often.”

They suggest focusing on quality time that doesn’t revolve around spending money, such as picnics, park outings, or home gatherings. Open communication with both friends and partners about financial boundaries is emphasized as a way to prevent misunderstandings and foster supportive relationships.

5. The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is portrayed as essential for maintaining healthy adult friendships. Mari and Taylor discuss their own challenges with boundary-setting and the guilt that can sometimes accompany it.

Taylor (58:03): “We both improved. ... recognizing the patterns that feel like you are pushing yourself over the boundary are a great place to start.”

Mari (59:16): “I feel like I've been practicing saying, like, yeah, I've noticed I get ... so what if we do something Saturday?”

They recommend being honest and upfront about one’s needs and limits, and reassuring friends that setting boundaries doesn’t diminish the value of the relationship. Encouraging friends to respect one another’s boundaries is also highlighted as a mutual benefit.

6. Supporting Friends Without Jealousy or Competition

Addressing the potential for jealousy in friendships, Mari and Taylor explore ways to cultivate supportive rather than competitive relationships.

Mari (62:54): “Jealousy is a really toxic trait to have in friendships.”

Taylor (63:06): “I think jealousy is ... if you can recognize that someone's jealous, you have the ability to step back ...”

They advocate for celebrating each other’s successes and viewing friends’ achievements as sources of inspiration rather than competition. Understanding that everyone’s journey is unique and maintaining a mindset of growth and collaboration can strengthen friendships.

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Conclusion: Building and Sustaining Meaningful Connections

Throughout the episode, Mari and Taylor underscore the importance of intentionality, honesty, and self-awareness in building and sustaining meaningful adult friendships. They encourage listeners to embrace their unique paths, support each other’s growth, and cultivate relationships that are both fulfilling and resilient.

Mari (65:55): “You do you queen.”

Taylor (64:17): “Don't dull your shine for anyone else.”

This episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone navigating the intricacies of adult friendships, offering both relatable anecdotes and practical advice to foster a supportive and empowering social network.

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Notable Quotes:

• Mari Llewellyn (02:32): “Life gets harder and harder, but we just get more and more capable.”
• Taylor Teichman (04:00): “I'll always try to, like, manifest it and picture it.”
• Mari Llewellyn (10:22): “If you have one or two good friends, it is a blessing.”
• Taylor Teichman (26:44): “The thing about Capricorns is like, they're very hardworking.”
• Mari Llewellyn (32:00): “Hyper, vigilant.”
• Taylor Teichman (39:08): “You really have to take inspiration as a better use of your time.”
• Mari Llewellyn (64:38): “Don't dull your shine for anyone else.”

Through these candid exchanges, Mari and Taylor provide a heartfelt exploration of personal growth, the evolution of friendships, and the pursuit of a balanced, fulfilling life.

Transcript

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. I feel like my accent changes based on who I'm talking to.

[Taylor]

I don't think it changes.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Do you know why I think it doesn't change with you? Because I feel comfortable with you. We're already recording. It's perfect. Welcome back to another Girl Chat. Today we have a new Girl Chat guest, Tay Tay.

[Taylor]

So excited to be here, Honestly, We've.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Been talking about this for a while, guys. Taylor is one of my closest friends in Austin. We've been friends for only a year, which feels bizarre.

[Taylor]

I don't even think a full year.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Which is so insane. But I. I feel like we met at a very pivotal moment, for sure, in both of our lives, and we've already been through so much that it feels like a thousand years.

[Taylor]

And also, like, when I met you, I felt like we can make decisions together because we were like, oh, she wants to do this too. Like, she. She knows what she wants, and, like, we're both totally aligned.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's a dynamic that, like, I've never. I don't think I've ever had in my life, but it makes a lot of sense to me, like, for context. Guys, I'm a Gemini, and Taylor is a Capricorn. And also, just your personality, I feel, is very, like, grounded, calm, logical, caring. And I'm caring, too, but I feel like I tend to be a bit more, like, all over the place, making quick decisions. Like, we just have a very. We're very different, but very similar in a lot of ways.

[Taylor]

For sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, you balance me out is how I feel sometimes.

[Taylor]

Like, you're up in the clouds and I have to bring you back down, period. Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, period. But you've been there for me. I mean, guys, like, they all know what I've been through.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And you've been there for me and vice versa. And it's been a really beautiful friendship. And, guys, I've been dying to get Taylor on the mic because she gives me the best advice, and I know she's going to give you guys the best advice. And we're going to talk today about adult friendships, anxiety, going through hard things, just all this stuff you go through in your 30s.

[Taylor]

Basically, it's a wild ride out there. It really is. You hit your late 20s and, like, hits the fan.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Hits the fan. And, like, this stage of our lives is just kind of wild. Like I was saying to Greg the other day, I feel like life kind of just gets. This is a sounds depressing but I don't mean it in this way. Life gets harder and harder, but we just get more and more capable, for sure.

[Taylor]

Like, you know, you're equipped with more information and you're. You're able to make better decisions, like, as you move forward. Like, a lot of things come at you, but you're able to kind of take everything on, don't you think?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Better tools, better decision making. And also, like, you figure out who you want around you for sure. Which I feel like is so important. Like, so important. Oh, my God, I can't imagine the last year without you and our other.

[Taylor]

Friends literally, like, night and day. I mean, when I moved to Austin, I was super depressed because I only had my husband and. And we moved here for his job, and I literally had literally not a single friend.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, you've told me about that.

[Taylor]

And it was such a sad time. And I remember saying to myself, it's going to take a year. It's going to take a year. And literally when a year hit, I had friends.

[Mari Llewellyn]

What did you do to, like, put yourself out there and make friends?

[Taylor]

Honestly, like, I was so depressed and in my feelings for so long, and I was like, I have to change this. I have to change this. And I swear to God, Mari manifested. Every single night I'd go to bed and I'd be like, I will have friends. This is going to be my home. Like, I need to be happy. And I told myself over and over and over again. And I feel like that's a lot in my life. I feel like that's a lot of, like, the ways that I do things. I'll always try to, like, manifest it and picture it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And when I did that, all of a sudden, friends started coming out of the woodworks. Like, our friend Nikki moved back. Like, she was the connector to so many people. And we, our. All of a sudden, we were, like, busy every single weekend, busy every single night. And, like, my friends from home were calling and, like, calling me and being like, how do. How are you so busy? Like, I am exhausted looking at what you're doing all the time.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Taylor]

But it kind of just opened up the world. It was crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

When I moved to Austin and I met you and the other gals, I was like, oh, my gosh, these girls do so much. I remember being, like, so overwhelmed because in la, I had no friends, like, similar to you. I just had Greg. And it was a little unhealthy for a while because I would put all my eggs in Greg's basket. So to Speak. Like, I would rely on him for everything. Emotional support, hanging out. Like, I didn't have anyone else. And then when I moved here and I met you guys, it was such a blessing, first of all, because I feel like because of Sammy, I met all of you at once. And immediately. I mean, it wasn't immediate. Like, I feel like our friendship definitely took some time and some like, solo hangouts, but I remember being like, oh, my God, these girls do so much. They hang out on weekdays, they hang out on weekends. They have. I mean, it was constant.

[Taylor]

It's crazy to come into your 30s and come in with like so many friends.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Like, I feel like at this age, I've said this to so many people, you start to lose your friends and pick who you want to be around. But to come into like a group of friends is very unheard of.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And it comes with like navigating things as well. But it's really amazing to move to a new city that's so young and so hip and so fun.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And then be able to do all these fun things with people.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, totally.

[Taylor]

Go on the lake, go out to dinner, like, do pottery, go on walks. Like, we live in a so much. Yeah, we really do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I also feel like with friendship, you really have to want it. Like what you were just saying with manifesting. Yeah, I want to come back to that too, because you're. You're really good with like positive selft talk and I'm not. So I want to talk about that, but you have to want it. Like, I remember when I first met you guys, I was getting invitations to a lot of different things and I remember feeling like a little bit of resistance because I wasn't used to leaving the house so much. And then when I started saying yes and just going and like letting go. Control.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That was when I was like, oh, I really need to put in an effort. I need to get to know these girls. Like, invite them to my house. Like, it really. Not that it's transactional, but adult friendships do take effort.

[Taylor]

I think too, when I think back to when we started to be friends, you really do at this age, have to like, girl flirt and like, really put in the effort. Like, I remember when I first called you, I was like sitting in the dog park with my dog and I like, want. I think you went out of town somewhere. I think you had went to like Jackson or not Jackson. You went to like Brush Creek or something. And I was like, how was your weekend? Like, tell me about it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Oh, my God.

[Taylor]

Do you remember that? Yes, I remember. Remember? You were caught so off guard, but I was like, I really just genuinely want to know, like, how was it? Like, it looked so fun, but it's like, you have to take those little steps in order to really, like, flourish in that relationship and, like, gain each other's trust. You really do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

No, you're. I remember that call, and I was like, something must be wrong. Yeah.

[Taylor]

You were so confused.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I was like, can I. Can I help you? Like, something wrong? And you were like, I'm literally just checking in. And I was like, people do that. Like, I honestly, like, I didn't know. I think a lot of, like, the way that I treat friends, like, I. I do think I'm a good friend and I'm.

[Taylor]

You definitely are a great friend. You really are.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thank you. And I feel like I've gotten to, like, flourish in that part of myself.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That I've never really gotten to before because I've been so focused on Bloom. I haven't gotten to experience for sure.

[Taylor]

You've been so heads down for years, like, focusing, growing this business, and have done an amazing, incredible job with it. But it's like, at some points, you kind of lose a little aspects of your life, which you have to. You can't live without friends for your entire life. That's for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It was a season, for sure. But I feel like you have taught me a lot about being a good friend.

[Taylor]

I think I put a lot of emphasis on friends. I think some of my deepest and longest friends will always be with me forever. Because I just, like, feel so deeply passionate about those people, and I'll always make space for them.

[Mari Llewellyn]

They're probably listening.

[Taylor]

They probably are. I've told them to.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Nicole, Natalie, the girls. I also keep thinking about Chelsea. Your sister right now.

[Taylor]

Yeah. No, she. She would love to sit in this.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Our queen.

[Taylor]

Our queen.

[Mari Llewellyn]

She would just go, you guys.

[Taylor]

My sister literally had a very interesting college experience. She had, like, a very traumatic thing happen in college and literally found herself through all of it and was like, after school, I'm not going to go back. I'm not gonna go, like, work how you guys do. I'm gonna go travel the world. And she literally traveled South America by herself with a backpack. Like, Mari and I are like, how do you do it?

[Mari Llewellyn]

She's still there.

[Taylor]

We were FaceTiming with her. Now she's in Oaxaca. But we were FaceTiming with her, and she was like, here's my house, guys. And Mari and I were like, oh, my God. You are crazy, but we love you crazy. You met her and you, like, instantly connected with her.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I. I immediately connected with her. I was like, I feel like this girl's looking into my soul.

[Taylor]

Yeah, she's good at that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Like, looking into my soul. And she makes you feel really listened to. Yeah. And then when she's speaking, you're like, how is this girl so wise?

[Taylor]

Like, she's like, she's so young. She's six years younger than I.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Six years younger?

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

She gave us like a tour, like a FaceTime tour of where she was living in the middle of wherever she was. Like, crazy Guadalajara. I don't know where she was, but it was like, oh, my gosh, this girl's alone.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And she was like, I love it here. She was so enthusiastic and passionate about her life. And we were like, reality check.

[Taylor]

Yeah. You know, we're like, we're a little crazy sometimes.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We're a little crazy.

[Taylor]

A little delu.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I mean, I can say that for sure. I live in delusion all the time. It's a nice way to live. I want to talk about, you know, I've been trying to practice positive self talk because it's something I struggle with.

[Taylor]

Yep.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I know that you kind of have, like, you honestly have a lot of practices. I feel like you do day to day. That really help you. Can you share with the gals, like, some of the things you do to stay positive?

[Taylor]

Yeah, I. Whenever I, like, I'm not a very religious person. Like, I've grown up Jewish. Like, we different than you. Like, we don't go to church every weekend. But I just think when I get in bed at night, I always have said, and I've said this to so many people, like, I will get in bed and I will go over my day and just like think the day and just be like, so happy. Like, tell me what was the best thing that happened today? And like, I'll talk to myself and I'll even sometimes ask my husband, like, because I want him to get involved, but I just, I really try to flip the script on everything when there is bad things happening. Like, I really try and focus on what the good is coming out of it. And I do that with a lot. And I think that, like, again, in your 30s, things are so confusing, but you have to be able to talk to yourself in such a positive manner. And I feel like with you, I've seen a lot of self doubt and like that negative talk about yourself, which makes me feel so sad. But I always try to, like, bring you back up to it. Because I'm like, you really have an amazing life. Like, you really are such an amazing person. And, like, even if you are having anxiety, something that you can totally get through, like, it's so temporary.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Taylor is like the person I go to if I'm having any problem at all. Because I think the way I grew up, I, you know, love you, Mum and Dad, if you're listening, but they didn't have the best emotional regulation or coping skills. And what I watched at home.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Is what I replicated. And the way that they spoke to themselves, the way they spoke to me.

[Taylor]

But I think, like, with all the therapy that you've done, I think it's amazing to recognize that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And be able to be like, I'm not going to be like that totally for my kids and show up super differently.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Because at the end of the day, like, it's amazing that you can recognize that. I mean, all of our parents, like, pass down trauma to us. It's just the ability to break through it 100%.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And it's so motivating to think, like, if I just put in an effort to change my habits every day, I could really make a difference for someone else's existence.

[Taylor]

For sure. I think it's also, like, about taking little steps every day. Like, I started. For sure. I know you started this, too, but, like, we're starting to journal in the morning just because there's, like, a lot of stuff both going on in our lives. So it's just. It's really nice to actually see what comes down on paper.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yes. The journaling, I feel like, is massive. The praying that I've. I call it praying. I don't. I don't. It doesn't have to be praying, but, like, just talking to someone and saying, like, thank you for this life I live. Thank you for my dogs. Thank you for totally health. Like, thank you for my. My walking legs. Like, thank you for the food I eat. Like, just every little thing. And you really come out of it looking at the day differently.

[Taylor]

For sure. It's interesting, I saw this on Instagram that if you talk to someone for 12 minutes a day. Have you seen this?

[Mari Llewellyn]

No.

[Taylor]

When you talk to someone for 12 minutes a day, it can actually turn your whole day around. And I feel like me and you are so good about calling each other in the middle of the day. Like, you go through, like, you go through so many things during the day. Like your podcast recording. You're here, you're testing greens and drinking drinks and all.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You're like all over acupuncture.

[Taylor]

Acupuncture and facials and all the things. But it's like you always make it around to calling me and I feel like those 12 minutes and even usually it's probably a little bit more for us, but like it honestly like really resets both of us. I feel like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I agree.

[Taylor]

And even if you can just give your friend like a quick call, I mean I call all my friends during the day. Like I need to talk to someone.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, yeah. Just to run through things like touch base. We, you know, sometimes it's just a catch up and like a little giggle. But sometimes we're calling and we're like, I need help. I mean sometimes I call you crying. Especially the last few weeks. But yeah, like even yesterday I was gonna tell you this when we were going through. So there's like a huge conference next week. I think I've told you guys about it before called Expo west. And it's kind of like the New York Fashion Week of supplements and of the health industry. And Expo west is a huge deal for Bloom. I go every single year. And this year I'm in the countdown to my transfer. I'm in this very unique window of time in my life and for the first time I was like, huh, I don't know if I should go. And I've been so torn on it, like so back and forth and you know, my acupuncturist said to me, do you want to put energy into your career or your womb? Which sounds really black and white, but that kind of is what it's down to.

[Taylor]

And we know the answer obviously.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Right. My initial answer was like my womb obviously. But then I, you know, I'm around Greg, who's so excited about it and I'm getting influenced from so many different people. And I was with Taylor in the car yesterday. We went to the barn together inside note.

[Taylor]

I have literally always wanted to go to Expo West. Like it is a dream of mine, which we will one day, we will next year, next year.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But I wanted Taylor to come with me, but it just wasn't working out for our schedules. But like I was still considering going and we were in the car and I was like, Taylor, can I actually. Just for a minute. And I struggle with this a lot. I talk about it in therapy with like knowing what I truly want, whether it's like what I want to eat, what I want to do. It sounds crazy, but I struggle finding that inner voice sometimes.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I was like, can I actually just run through the entire schedule with you and visualize what it will be like? So I actually.

[Taylor]

Out loud, we went through every day.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Went through every day. Like, every car ride, every situation. And as I was telling you, I was like, yeah. No, yeah.

[Taylor]

No.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Literally halfway through, I was like, nope.

[Taylor]

No, because, like, I mean, we know, like, the alone time was just, like, gonna be astronomical. And just, like, the pressure of it all, it's not. It wasn't worth it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Not worth it.

[Taylor]

It's so incredible that Bloom has such a big presence and, like, they're gonna do so great.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

With or without you. And we love Bloom.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's. Bloom is my child. And I feel like I'm missing my child's biggest recital of all time.

[Taylor]

That's true.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

[Taylor]

I mean, we were talking about this yesterday.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I know, it's crazy. Wait, can. A little bit of a pivot, but can I read them our star sign descriptions? Okay. Taylor and I obviously send each other, like, a lot of memes and quotes and stuff on the Internet. Like, every bestie does.

[Taylor]

Yeah. But we found also, like, sending memes and things are, like, my love language. And, like, my husband, like, I'm sure so many people relate, but, like, I send him so many dms, and he's. I'm like, did you see this one? And he's like, no. I'm like, these are, like, picked out for you perfectly, like, they curated. Curated. Perfectly curated. Like, if I'm sending you a meme, like, be sure to look at it, period.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Taylor's intentional. She's not.

[Taylor]

That one's for Jake.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm just. If. Jake. You better be listening, Greg. You better be listening. Greg has never listened to my podcast.

[Taylor]

Jake and Greg just send each other dms they talk about all the time.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Watches, cars, animals.

[Taylor]

It's weird.

[Mari Llewellyn]

At least their for you pages are not what we would be afraid of.

[Taylor]

For sure. Like, exactly.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Our husbands. They're good husbands.

[Taylor]

They're great husbands.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Their for you pages are appropriate.

[Taylor]

They're appropriate.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Also, we didn't even mention that we've both been with our husbands. I mean, I've been with mine for 10 years. You've been with yours.

[Taylor]

We're coming up on 10 this summer.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, like, since high school, you've been with your. Your man.

[Taylor]

We met in high school and we started dating in college.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So, like, that has also given us a very common thread.

[Taylor]

For sure. We. That, like, we can empathize with each other in the fact that, like, sometimes our Husbands can be super annoying, but we also love them so deeply because we've been with them so long.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

We grew up with them.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And, like, we changed. We've. We've been so many different versions of ourselves. I mean, you too? Like, yeah. So many different versions of ourselves with our husband. And, like, they love us more today than they did.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's very different to a lot of our friends. Friends who met their husbands, like, three, four years ago a decade. Like, you see different versions of your partner, and it's really wild. I mean, what.

[Taylor]

We were 20.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Literally 20 years old.

[Taylor]

So I remember gifting Jake a birthday present for his 21st birthday because he's year older than me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I remember, like, toying with Greg's feelings at 21 years old. You're like, I remember giving a gift. I'm like. I remember with him being on the beach in Southampton, can't hang out.

[Taylor]

Sorry, I'm busy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, but it makes such a big difference because, like. Yeah, it's just different. I can't explain it. And, like, I feel like when you get to this point in a marriage or a relationship, there's different efforts that you need. Like, you almost need to remember to put the effort in and make it magical and sparkly and, like.

[Taylor]

Oh, for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You know, because when you're with someone for that long, you almost. Not that you take it for granted, but sometimes you forget that you're lucky.

[Taylor]

Yeah. You're so lucky. I mean, I think about our story, like, the reason Jake and I met was out of chance. Like, my best friend basically got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Out of nowhere. We were supposed to go to do it, like, a teen tour community service trip in Fiji. And we were like, we can't go that far. Like, she has to refrigerate her medication. And I was so concerned about her health, and we ended up going to USC and did a summer program. No one wanted to be friends with Alex and I because we were so cliquey and Jake was our only friend.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Wait, I didn't realize Alex was, like, involved in the story.

[Taylor]

Yeah, no, remember the text I read you the other day?

[Mari Llewellyn]

And she was like, now I'm putting it together. We can also bleep her name if we want to.

[Taylor]

No, she doesn't care.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Okay, great. Hey, Alex, that's hilarious.

[Taylor]

Yeah, no, she. She. I mean, she's the reason that we met. And I always think back to, like, it's such a divine timing and, like, you and Greg, like, going to the same high school and going to the same college. Like that's crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's craz crazy. And then it just.

[Taylor]

And then you like knees together. Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like what?

[Taylor]

It's wild.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's so crazy.

[Taylor]

It's so wild. Like the stars are aligned which perfectly segments into our star signs.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Why are you better at a podcast than me? Like should I retire? Do you want to take over? Honestly guys, microplastics are everywhere. It's honestly shocking. I did blood work a couple years ago and saw that I had microplastics in my blood. It's. I think a lot of people hear about it but don't realize how serious it is. And this is why it's so important to switch your cookware. You want to be cooking in pans that are not leaking into your food. And that's why I made the decision to switch to Caraway. Caraway should be your first non toxic swap because it's easy to do and they are gorgeous. I absolutely love my Caraway cookware. I love my stainless steel, I love my baking sheets. They are the best. And the storage is also so freaking easy. The amount of plastic in brain samples has increased 50 since 2016. A single scratch on a Teflon cookware pan can release over 9, 000 microplastic particles. Which is insane, guys. And Caraway makes non toxic cookware that is stunning and easy to use. It's crafted with sustainable non toxic materials like FSC certified birch wood, premium stainless steel, naturally slick ceramic and more to help you create a safer, healthier home. It gives you peace of mind knowing that you are not exposing yourself to harmful chemicals or microplastics. For example, using a wood cutting board versus a plastic one. Plus they have meal prep solutions for food storage sets that do not have microplastics and ditching Teflon pans and switching to the non toxic cookware. It seriously is the best decision I think I've ever made. I'm absolutely a huge fan of my cookware. We did the math and there is no better time to make the healthy swap to Caraway. Our favorite cookware set will save you a hundred and fifty dollars versus buying the items individually. Plus if you visit carawayhome.com Mari you can take an additional 10 off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com mari or use code MARI M A R I at checkout Caraway non toxic cookware made Modern Capricorns as best friends. Yeah, this is you has their life together or at least pretends to. Yeah, you Do I do you 100.

[Taylor]

At least from the front. For sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, Taylor comes to my house and, like, does my dishes and, like, organizes my closet and is like, are you okay?

[Taylor]

Yeah. I'm like, I'm very motherly. Like, we're checking up and, like, making sure everything is, like, buttoned up.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yes, everything's buttoned up. We'll keep going because I have. I have stories, actually. Perfect. Low key judges. Your bad decisions, but helps you anyway.

[Taylor]

Yes. Yeah, it's me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It. Taylor will call my ass out.

[Taylor]

I will.

[Mari Llewellyn]

She will.

[Taylor]

I'm just very honest and, like, to a fault. But, like, I think that's why, like, my friends call me for advice.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yes. You're not lying to anyone. You're not sugar coating anything.

[Taylor]

I'm not. And, like, if something doesn't align the other day, I'm like, okay, you know what? That's cute. But, like, this would be cuter.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Or something even deeper. Like, remember when I made that mistake?

[Taylor]

Which mistake?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, delete that. That mistake I made where I was, like, given. Given the fact that my brain has been a scrambled egg lately and I've been a bit distracted. I have been. Perhaps I haven't been great with responding to text messages other than people that I really care about.

[Taylor]

Right.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And, like, I just don't have as much cap and it has caused me to perhaps be a bit. What's the word?

[Taylor]

I think you just have deprioritized things that aren't important to you, period.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I have some oversight maybe.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I kind of made a mistake that I, like, got called out for. And Taylor was like, yeah, you definitely made a mistake, but we can fix it.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So no doubt. Yeah. The friend who drives you home safely at 3am we are not in that phase of our lives, but I know that you would.

[Taylor]

Yeah, I would.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Will call you out. But only because they care.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

As we've discussed.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Doesn't have a ton of friends, but is insanely loyal to the ones they do.

[Taylor]

Yeah. Which I've already explained.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, I agree.

[Taylor]

Like, I would rather have three friends than have 10. And I think that comes with the age too.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But I again, like, one, you're loyal to me and you're like. And I'm loyal to you. Like, you're there forever.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I agree. I also just want to say, guys, like, at this stage of our lives, to even have one or two good friends is a blessing.

[Taylor]

Totally.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You don't need 10 friends. In fact, I don't think any of us have time for 10 friends.

[Taylor]

No. I also think, like when I think back to my wedding, like I had six girls, like, including my, I think it was six girls literally including my sister and my sister in law. And I was like, this is perfect.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Except I wasn't there.

[Taylor]

Yeah. Yeah. And like all my new friends weren't there, but it was like quality over quantity.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

It's such a big, such a big thing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I agree.

[Taylor]

And I think maybe 10 years ago we would have been like, oh my God, I have 15 friends, I'm in a huge friend group. But like, no one cares.

[Mari Llewellyn]

No one cares. Except maybe to flex on social media, which is a whole other conversation.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But I also just want to say I think it's okay to like speed date and like have a lot of friends and then narrow down totally on the people that you're like, I really vibe with this person. I, I feel seen by this per, like, it's okay, it's okay to like find your people in a group.

[Taylor]

Totally.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You know, will force you to apply to jobs and fix your resume.

[Taylor]

Okay. The thing about Capricorns is like, they're very hard working.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And like that's just kind of like what always, the star signs always say about Capricorns. I totally got that. I think when I put my head to something, like, I will do it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. I think it depends on the season of life you're in. Like, everyone has different goals for different things. But I would say that you, when you do something, I, you really comm.

[Taylor]

To it for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And you do it detail oriented, whereas I'm like, which is also a, a.

[Taylor]

Good and a bad thing. Like, I think that like, I've always loved cooking and like, I used to have like a little platform for it. And like, I think that sometimes I get so caught up in like wanting something to be perfect and you're always like, just try it, just try it. Just do it. Which for me it's a little bit of like, I don't know, perfectionism, I guess.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Or like control freak.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yep.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I don't struggle with that.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm like, throw it at the wall.

[Taylor]

And see if I'm learning to just really, really, really let that go.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think that's, Yeah, I, I, I do notice that about you, but you do things really well.

[Taylor]

Thank you.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Whenever you do them, like, bring the cooking page back. We love it.

[Taylor]

I just like, as a firstborn, you know, like, wanting to always prove that, like, I got good grades and I could go to a good school and I Could do X, Y, and Z. Even though, like, my parents never put that pressure on me because they were amazing. But, like, that was just, like, a me thing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That's funny. Yeah. And I was born still.

[Taylor]

I'm still learning to let that go.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I was more like, how much trouble can I cause? Like, how reckless can I be? Maybe they'll pay attention to me if I do that. And then I was like, wait, actually, I'm gonna, like, accomplish so much that they can't ignore me.

[Taylor]

We were, like, really opposite.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And then I was like, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna, like, achieve everything, and then they'll notice me.

[Taylor]

It's good to know that both strategies work, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You'll be fine.

[Taylor]

You'll be fine.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I mean, I almost wasn't, but it worked out.

[Taylor]

We made it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We made it. We're here. Barely hanging on by a thread, but we're here. And then. Oh, this is so you coded. Fun for them is deep convos, success planning and expensive dinners. I don't know about the expensive dinners. You're kind of down for whatever.

[Taylor]

Yeah. I feel like moving to Austin. There's not really, like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, well, you lived in Dallas. That's.

[Taylor]

We did live in. And I feel like I just, like, love a good dinner. I like food. I love food. But I think that, like, sitting and talking, especially with, like, a few people, like, group settings, have always been a little bit hard for me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

I think sitting down, talking, deep conversations with, like, a few people, going to nice dinners. Of course. I love that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, you are really. You're also very engaging, and you ask people a lot of questions.

[Taylor]

I do. I'm naturally curious.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You're very, very curious.

[Taylor]

Yeah, you are.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And what I love about Taylor, too, is, like, for example, when you went.

[Taylor]

To Big Bend, like, my favorite place in the world.

[Mari Llewellyn]

She loves Big Bend. It's like, can you explain what it is?

[Taylor]

It's in the city of Terlingua, and it's. It's literally on the border of Mexico and Texas. And my husband and I have been twice, and we stay at this amazing hotel called Willow House. Greg's actually there right now, and he's like, this place is amazing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But I'm like, I am just obsessed with it. And every time I go, I'm like. I feel like the most pure version of myself out there. It's so quiet and, like, you hear your ears ringing and, like. Yeah, we went over. What was that? Christmas. I was trying to get you to come, but it was, like, the most. It was literally, like, the most serene place in the world. But where were you going with this?

[Mari Llewellyn]

I was gonna say what I love about you is you, like, you get so excited about small things. You'll be somewhere. You'll be like, I'm freaking out. It's so quiet. And there's this cactus, and I'm just, like, obsessed. Like, you'll just get so excited.

[Taylor]

I do. And, like, when I go to, like, little bodegas, like, we went to that tiny grocer. I'm like, heaven. Let me walk the aisles. Like, I need to just, like, like, literally breathe in what's going on here.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But it makes me want to take you to, like, where I grew up.

[Taylor]

Yeah, I would appreciate it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. To Granny's house in the Cotswold, because I think he would just die.

[Taylor]

Well, we're already gonna do that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We're going, we're going. And then to Long Island. Like, I want to show you it all because you get so excited.

[Taylor]

I do get so excited.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Should I read my. My bullet point?

[Taylor]

Read yours and I'll reflect on them.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Gemini is a best friend. Talking to them equals three hour convos that go from deep life to gossip.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, I like to.

[Taylor]

Yeah, yeah, you do love to yap. I was thinking about this this morning when I was doing my makeup, and I was like, the reason Mari does have this platform is, like, she really just loves to yap.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I love a yap.

[Taylor]

You do. Nothing wrong with that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Gossip is sharing information.

[Taylor]

It is. And you're good at sharing information.

[Mari Llewellyn]

To protect myself.

[Taylor]

Whether it's like, whether we're talking about a founder from a wellness brand or.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Sally down the street.

[Taylor]

Yep.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Watch out for Sally can read your mood instantly and adapt to it.

[Taylor]

You're good at that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

You're pretty much like a chameleon. I feel like. Yeah, you can, like, really. I feel like it's a. It's a skill to be able to connect with people and, like, see what's going on. Because I feel like you're good at reading. And this, like, comes. We've talked about this, like, with your childhood. Like, you had to read through a lot of emotions of people and things.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Hyper, vigilant.

[Taylor]

Yeah. So you, like, when you're in a room with someone, like, you can totally match it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I look at their eyes, their tone, but in the same vein, if someone's talking to me and their face is like. Like, if they look, I might have Botox, so I can't do it. But, like, Greg Has a bad listening face. Like, he scrunches his face, and you can.

[Taylor]

He's reacting.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You feel judged. Yeah, I'll be like. I'll stop mid sentence and be like. Is something I'm saying upsetting you? Because I'm so paranoid about people's expressions. Unmatched Meme Game will send you the funniest Tick Tocks before you even see them.

[Taylor]

You do. But. Okay, so I haven't re. Downloaded Tick Tock because I was one of the ones. I was one of the ones. I was. I was fully addicted to Tick Tock, But I would send Mari videos, and then she would try to send them back to me. I'm like, girl, I already saw these. Like, I. And I already sent them to you. So.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, I'm not as, like. Like, careful as you. I kind of just, like, blast things off.

[Taylor]

Yeah. It's okay.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, that's fine. That'll, like, be a problem one day. It already has been a problem. Super social. But if you're their bestie, you're their number one priority for sure. Yeah.

[Taylor]

Period.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Forgets to text back, but somehow knows everything in your life.

[Taylor]

I feel like that's 50. 50 for you. It's, like, selective, you know? Like, sometimes you say, like, selective hearing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm a little selective. I feel I don't have.

[Taylor]

I mean, if you want to know and what's going on in someone's Life, you will 100 now. That's true, right?

[Mari Llewellyn]

That's true.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Encourages all your bad but fun decisions.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, that's true.

[Taylor]

You do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm not the friend who's gonna be like, well, maybe think about it.

[Taylor]

Yeah. Mari's like, this is my answer.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But sometimes you have a hard time, like, making those decisions for yourself, which is where I come in.

[Mari Llewellyn]

True.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But if you come to me, like.

[Taylor]

You'Re like, you need to do this. I'm like, okay, are you sure? Like, do we have a plan? Like, what are we doing?

[Mari Llewellyn]

But if you come to me and you want to buy, like, a crazy bag that you're obsessed with, I'm like, it.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You know, I'm a little more like, just do it.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Now we're gonna move on to some questions. We have some Q A box questions, and at the end of the episode, the grand finale, we're gonna listen to some voice messages, which I haven't done in so long.

[Taylor]

I know. I'm excited. Mari wouldn't let me listen to them, so we. We're listening to them. To them for the first time.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Taylor likes to be very prepared. And I was like, no, no. You need like, I want your raw, real reaction.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

How do you guys manage busy schedules and getting time to hang out together?

[Taylor]

I mean, I work a 9 to 5 job.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yep.

[Taylor]

I really prioritize my time before work and after work. I like Mari. Her and I wake up very early and we're like, well, let's do a workout at 6:30. Let's do a workout at 7. Or we'll walk the lake. Yeah. And we'll always get in our time. And I think after work we're really good about like we want to do dinner. We usually do dinner like once a week. Or see each other on the weekend and go for a walk. But always like, I feel like a quick facetime is always like something you can do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Feels like a hangout.

[Taylor]

Totally feels like a hangout.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is also where it's helpful to have a friend that like wants to do the same things as you. Because I know that you're down to just come to my house and cook and like just sit on the couch. I sometimes with certain people it feels like it has to be a production. Like, oh, we have to go out and do this and that with you. I'm like, walk, come to the barn with me, whatever. Like, we're always kind of down.

[Taylor]

And we also like, sometimes we'll love to do activities. Like we did pottery, which was really.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Fun for my birthday, I think.

[Taylor]

Yeah. That was so fun. And like, that's just like an easy thing to book. And like we had the best time. It was two hours.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. And our husband, I did it on a day off, which is nice. So we'll do dinners. Like we have a dinner on Saturday. Saturday, yeah. How to find like minded people. When it comes to health and wellness, no one in my area cares. It's a good question.

[Taylor]

Interesting.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think this is where the Internet comes in handy for sure.

[Taylor]

You know, and also I think just like going to places where you want to hang out. Like, I feel like meeting people at the gym. I feel like the gym here, I mean, I go to Equinox like a few times a week and I take a lot of the classes or just work out by myself. And I think that like, like if you're in the mood to be chatty, like people will chat with you for sure. Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Shoot your shot. Honestly, like compliment a girl on her love.

[Taylor]

A good compliment. Yeah, I always try to do that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It starts the combo for sure.

[Taylor]

And like, if you guys, if you have like the same bag or you have, like, you know, this. The sweatshirt brand she's wearing, like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Throw a good compliment for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Anyone at the gym or in your class, like, cares about fitness, you know.

[Taylor]

And even, like a coffee shop up.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

I feel like Austin's so unique, though, because it's very. It's a very social city. I would be interested to know where this person lives.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Same.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I'm picturing, like.

[Taylor]

Like, is it like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Is it like, Seattle? I don't know much about, like, the Seattle. Yeah. Like, up there. Like, is it New York? Like, I feel like you. We can. We can talk about that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

New York scares me.

[Taylor]

New York really scares me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I don't know that we would have friends there.

[Taylor]

Honestly, that place overwhelms me to a.

[Mari Llewellyn]

T. And, like, we're not going out every night. Those people go out every night.

[Taylor]

I. Every night.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Damn.

[Taylor]

I would be like, filled up with just, like, canola oil.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Canola oil and anxiety.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I mean, I lived there for a year and I honestly had the worst anxiety of my life. Like, I left because I couldn't handle it.

[Taylor]

Does Greg like it, though? Yes, and Jake loves it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Oh, my God.

[Taylor]

But they're so similar.

[Mari Llewellyn]

They're so similar. Like, Greg was laying in bed the other night, he was like, I miss New York City. Yeah.

[Taylor]

Jake's like, I love the energy here. I'm like, what energy?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, we're like.

[Taylor]

I'm like, I need the suburbs. Yes.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Seriously, Like, I actually can't gather my thoughts because I'm just listening to everyone else's conversation and reading everyone's facial expression. I'm like, I'm so overstimulated, so over stimulated. I'm in everyone's conversation.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. No, okay.

[Taylor]

Sorry.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But maybe we'll go to New York at some point.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

What to do when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough in your life?

[Taylor]

Oh, that's a great question. I feel like. Honestly, I feel like that sometimes about myself. I mean, it's hard. Like, comparison is the thief of joy. I feel like I look at you and I'm like, oh, my God, she has done so much and she's 30 years old. Like, you have built this huge company, but it's almost like you cannot compare yourself to other people at all. I always think, like, when I envision success for me and for my husband, I always feel like this is something that's gonna be like, later in life. Like, this is like. Like. And it's teaching you a lesson now.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

So that you have like, like we said earlier, like, all the information together, and then you can, like, learn off of that success.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Totally.

[Taylor]

Right.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Also, I'm not going to remember all these names, but there's so many hugely successful entrepreneurs who hit their success at, like, 45.

[Taylor]

Yes. Like Kristy Jenner.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

I saw this video the other day.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Right?

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I wish I had all the names in my head, but you know what I. I mean.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I'm such an anomaly and not a good example.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I also think the grass is always greener. Like, someone might look at my life and say, I wish I had that. And then I look at freaking Julia Havens on the Internet, and I'm like, I want her life. I want to be pregnant and have a kid already.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You know, like, everyone wants what they don't have for sure.

[Taylor]

Will you read the question one more time?

[Mari Llewellyn]

It was just, like, what to do when you feel like you haven't accomplished enough in life.

[Taylor]

Yeah. I think it just, like, honestly being super positive and, like, taking little steps every day.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

I think when I was so sad in Austin and I didn't have that many friends, like, I journaled and I, like, did something for me every day. And then you. You can see with those small steps, months later, that you've taken, like, one giant step.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Also, I mean, tell me if you don't want me to talk about this, but I feel like watching you with your passion for cooking and just, like, how much you love it, and then watching you, like, dip a toe and, like, cooking for people, kind of going all in on that. We took a little pause, but now we're maybe back. I don't know. Yeah. It was really cool.

[Taylor]

We will be back. And, like, I just love cooking. It, like, lights my soul on fire. And I've been to, like, some energy healers, and they're like, your brain turns on when you cook.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Which, like, to me, makes so much sense because I feel so relaxed at the end of the day. Like, during the workday, I'm so, like, riled up and, like, so many things going through my head, but, like, when I step into the kitchen to make dinner for us and, like, totally at.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Peace, and then it was almost like the second that you, like, threw yourself back into it. It was working.

[Taylor]

It was working. And then I just kind of got a little bit overwhelmed, and a lot of things were going on in my.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Life a lot at once.

[Taylor]

But I'm honestly gonna step back into cooking. So, like, if anyone needs any cooking in Austin, I'M around.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Taylor makes the best food.

[Taylor]

I do make really good, healthy, like, dairy free, gluten free.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And you can just DM her.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

@ any time of the day.

[Taylor]

We're gonna, like, figure this one out.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We're gonna figure this one out. And I'm just saying that as an example because I feel like that was like, like such a great stepping stone for sure to what you want to do with your life.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Triggers, slash anxiety, especially around family, how to navigate.

[Taylor]

I feel like I've dealt with this a lot in therapy. It's really just like, really taking a step back. And I feel like sometimes when you get older, you start to realize, like, things that your. Your family or your parents do that is really different from you and triggers you. But being able to recognize that and then like, either saying what you want to say and not biting your. And not biting your tongue and being able to, like, be confident with that decision. I think for so many years, I was just like, I'm gonna do it. My parents tell me, like, I'm gonna follow suit, but, like, I'm an adult now. Like, they're gonna respect that about me. And I think being able to, like, get through that, that is really important. I think that sometimes, I mean, I tell you all the time, like, sometimes, like, I mean, I love my parents, but sometimes, you know, sometimes they can overstep. And I just, like, I've gotten to a place where I'm like, you know what? Let them, Let them.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Melrose, we love Mel Robbins, our queen.

[Taylor]

We can't do anything about it. And also, like, I try to remind myself this of all the time. This is my. My parents first time on this earth. Same with yours. Yeah, same with ours. And, like, we're gonna make mistakes and they're gonna make mistakes, and that's so. Okay.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And you're building.

[Taylor]

Yeah. And you have to treat that with kindness.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Agree. Like, they're doing.

[Taylor]

They're doing their best.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We're doing our best.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I have a very. I think the word is visceral. I have a very visceral example for this that I experience a lot. I noticed even after all the therapy I did, all the work I did when I was like a fully accomplished developed adult with Bloom, with my husband. Whatever. The second I would walk into my childhood home in Scarsdale.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Before my dad sold it. I would dissociate.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, fully leave my body and enter.

[Taylor]

This weird, like, high school version of you.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It was bizarre.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I would suddenly be sensitive and it would. I would Literally feel it happen in my body. And my therapist would have me before I walk in the house, like a grounding exercise, like, mindfulness. Like, touch, smell, sight, like, breathe. Like, I am Mari. I am 28 years old, or however old I was at the time. I have a business, I have employees, I have a husband. Like, yeah, this is who I am. Like, I don't have to be so affected by this.

[Taylor]

Was your dad in that house? Like, was that the house that you grew up in?

[Mari Llewellyn]

I've moved so many times. Like, I've lived in 15 houses, but. Yeah, but that was, like, the main one.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And that was where all the turmoil, like, really took place.

[Taylor]

I mean, later in my life, my parents just sold their house. Like, I grew up there. We lived there for, like, 18 or 20 years, something like that. And I felt the same exact way when I went home. You have to, like. Like, you really. You have to dissociate almost.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. It's bizarre.

[Taylor]

It's a different person.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But I, like, want to show up as me.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, when I'm with my family, but it's hard because you look at them and you remember. I mean, it's just weird.

[Taylor]

I was just talking about this with my parents. It's crazy that, like, when you. After the age of 18, the amount of time that you. The amount of less time that you spend with them from, like, now until you know they're here, it's crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I think I've heard a stat before. I'm not gonna forget, but you only get a certain amount of summers with your kid.

[Taylor]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. 18 summers.

[Mari Llewellyn]

18 summers. How have you guys been learning to listen to your body with intuitive eating?

[Taylor]

I think for so long, like, when I had a health and wellness platform myself, it was very focused on, like, I mean, this was back in 2017. Like, everyone was gluten free for no reason. Like, everyone was dairy free.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And I've gotten to. And when I stopped all of that stuff, I just kind of realized that, like, eating what you want is really not bad. Like, it is truly a blessing to be able to be like, I'm craving this, and I'm gonna honor that. I think it's so interesting. Like, now I'm just. I'm fully, like, an intuitive eater. Like, if I'm craving something and I eat it, the satisfaction that you get get from being fulfilled, like, that is amazing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Totally.

[Taylor]

Right?

[Mari Llewellyn]

I agree. And I think I've been through so many different stages with my food.

[Taylor]

Like, for sure, I feel like everyone has, like, if you grew up like, yeah. In this age, like where moms were doing like slim, fast and like juice diet. We did all of that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, we did all of that. And I, I guess I had a very unique sort of like childhood experience with food. Like, I actually think a great one.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, I grew up in a very European household where like food quality was valued. And we ate a lot of bread and ham and cheese and like, whatever it was, it wasn't healthy, but it was good quality food. And I didn't think about it that much. Like, it wasn't a big thought for me until my weight loss journey. And that's when I taught myself macros and I was obsessed with hitting protein, fat. And like when you're counting every day, it gets difficult to not get obsessed. So I definitely went through a period of obsession and fear.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And then with my, my fitness pal.

[Taylor]

Like, oh my God, I remember putting in those calories and Weight Watchers, like, that's just so sad. Like you just want to enjoy, like, even if it is a bowl of pasta or toast, like, I don't ever, ever limit myself.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Anymore. And I think I did that for so many years and now it's like, for what?

[Mari Llewellyn]

For what? And I also think there's such a way to do it. Like, especially if you get into cooking and doing things at home, there's a way to make anything you want, like reasonably healthy. Like, we obviously, both of us still love nutrition.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And fueling our bodies. And like, if we are having pasta, maybe it's like super organic pasta.

[Taylor]

Oh, for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And with like good protein. Like we're not just making crap.

[Taylor]

Yeah. No.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Ever.

[Taylor]

No.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You guys know I am the biggest fan of Bon Charge, especially their red light face mask for acne scarring. Bon Charge's mission is clear. To empower individuals to live a more fulfilling life through science backed and beauty wellness products. It's my personal favorite red light brand. And between work, family, staying active and finding time to look after my skin, it can be so difficult to make time for those wellness practices. But red light therapy is one of those things you can have at stack. You can meditate and do red light. You can cook and do red light. Especially with the red light face mask. Since it's wireless, you can like walk around with it, wear it for 10 minutes a day and do different things. It helps with clearing skin, firming it and helping it get more radiant. I have seen such a big difference with my hyperpigmentation from acne scarring. I swear it's one of like my favorite go to at home practices. I've noticed that my fine lines look better, my hyperpigmentation looks better, and it's so easy I just wear it for 10 minutes a day. I often do a meditation and a foot soak at the same time. It has been such a fantastic use of my time while working on my skin. Bon Charge red light devices promise a non invasive approach that utilizes specific wavelengths of red and near infrared light to penetrate the skin, offering a range of benefits that continue to garner attention from researchers and health professionals alike. Bon Charge ships worldwide in rapid time with easy returns and exchanges. With a one year warranty. Go to boncharge.com and use coupon code pursuit P u R suit to save 15%. That's B-O-N-C-H-A-R-G-E.com and use coupon code PURSUIT to save 15%. So we're about to hop into voice messages and I really wanted to do this because Taylor, as I've mentioned a few times, gives me the best advice and I want her to give you guys advice. I mean, she's literally like a life coach in my eyes. Okay. This is from Lauren. Hi, Mari and Taylor. I am approaching my mid-30s and I.

[Taylor]

Am finding that my financial goals that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

My husband and I are sharing are changing and it is affecting how I.

[Taylor]

Interact with my friends.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Overall, my friends have been really understanding.

[Taylor]

And supportive of where we're at financially right now, and it's made us more creative about finding ways to hang out that fit everyone's financial goals.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But I'm curious, with friends who are.

[Taylor]

In different financial brackets or have different financial goals than you do, how does.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That affect your friendship? How do you make sure that you.

[Taylor]

Can maintain a friendship that feels balanced.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And even and supportive and find ways to do things together when you might.

[Taylor]

Have different financial goals or realities? That's a deep question.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That's a. Yeah, that's an adult question.

[Taylor]

That is a really adult question.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm gonna give that to you.

[Taylor]

Okay. I think honest, honestly, like, you can totally have friends in different brackets, if you want to call it that. I think that being able to, like, just be there for them as a friend, that doesn't cost anything, like, that's priceless. And also, like, if you want to do things with couples, like, obviously going out to eat can get really expensive and drinking and all that kind of stuff. But I think that if you think about, like, fun things that are free, like going to a park or maybe like Having a little picnic, like picking up like some charcuterie and like, like just enjoying quality time. I think that felt really, like financially motivated. I feel like if you emphasize quality time with the people that you love, yeah, that's totally free.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I agree with you 100.

[Taylor]

Like, come over to my house. Like, let's sit on the couch. You're like, we're all in our 30s. Like, we don't want to go out and drink anymore.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I 100 agree. And unless you do. Yeah.

[Taylor]

And I feel like nothing wrong with that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think just to be self aware for a minute. Like, I'm not someone who really thinks about and I think that's a luxury that I don't really think about this very often. And I've said this so many times. I didn't. My family didn't have a lot of money and I don't think I ever anticipated having a lot of money. And I. I don't feel it hasn't fully caught up with the way that I think. And I've never been someone that is very financially savvy.

[Taylor]

Literate.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. I'm not a numbers gal. Like, I don't really think about it. And I kind of like, like that about myself. I like that I give Greg that responsibility. And when we go do things, it just, we don't. I feel like we don't talk about it very much.

[Taylor]

It's just, I also think if you have really good communication with your spouse and you're like, can we go do this? Like, we want to go see this play or we want to go to this show.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Like, is this something that we can do and maybe pull back in other areas? Like, then that would be like such an amazing experience and you would remember that forever.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You know, it's also kind of like I'm relating it to when I was on a fitness journey and I had very strong goals and other people's were not. My other friends weren't aligning and I was like, okay, see ya.

[Taylor]

Right.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, sometimes there is a moment where if people aren't down to match where you're at, you need to just take.

[Taylor]

A pause, take a break.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. And I think that's okay.

[Taylor]

And I think if they're still your friends, they're still your friends.

[Mari Llewellyn]

How wonderful period this message is from Nicole.

[Taylor]

I am wondering how you advocate for.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yourself in a doctor's office setting.

[Taylor]

Like, how do you make sure that you are being taken seriously and how do you make sure that you are getting help?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thanks, Nicole. Okay. I mean, it's a great question.

[Taylor]

It is a good question. I feel like I've been to a slew of doctors recently.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, you have.

[Taylor]

I think it comes with. I. I feel the same way. Like, I'll get into a doctor's office, and I'm like, I have no idea what they're talking about. Like, they're the professionals. Like, I'm gonna let them do. But sometimes, like, before an appointment, I will just, like, start researching. And honestly, like, this is crazy, but, like, chat. Chat GPT really knows everything they do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I've been seeing on Tick Tock these girls saying that they're on Chat GPT all day. Like, personal assistant status.

[Taylor]

Oh. I mean, I put, like, my blood work into Chat GPT and it's like, yeah, you're a good girl. Like, it. And it. It breaks you down, girly pop. But, like, you can go in and be like, this is what I'm concerned with. And, like, what are the questions I need to ask? I did this literally the other day, and it helps so much with clarity because I feel like sometimes I get into the doctor's office and I'm like. Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I'm freaking out. Like, this is so confusing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But I think it's just like, you coming in, knowing the information, and just, like, being an advocate for yourself and stopping. I mean, I sometimes process things really slow, so sometimes, like, stopping and be like, can you repeat that again? Like, I need you to, like, explain that one more time for me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And having confidence in that as well. Yeah. This is where you're a Capricorn and I'm a Gemini, and I'm going to come in with my Gemini advice right now. I'm going to be so for real. I, like, have a really hard time trusting traditional doctors.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Even my IVF doctor, even though he's amazing and I know he's doing everything right, I'm always going to take everything with a grain of salt because of all the conversations I've had on this podcast, because of all the knowledge I've had over the years and just being a holistic. Like, I'm not listening to everything you're saying. Like, a traditional doctor is telling me you can have, like, one glass of alcohol a day and like, like, just a cup of coffee. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna do it differently.

[Taylor]

So do what feels good for you.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Right. Take it with a grain of salt. Like, do your outside research. Be your own advocate, Take your supplements. I'm seeing this acupuncturist and asking her advice because she is holistic. And I'm like, girl, what do you think? Because, like, I trust you.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And she's a woman too. Like, sometimes I just want to sit.

[Taylor]

With a woman I know when it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Comes to my uterus.

[Taylor]

Well, I know it's crazy because your doctor is male. I, like, I don't understand that, but to each their own.

[Mari Llewellyn]

In Austin, there, I. He's it.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

There's only one.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So. But, yeah, you have to. You take it with a grain of salt.

[Taylor]

Take it with a grain of salt and also just question everything. I feel like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Agree. Michelle.

[Taylor]

Hey, Mari. Hey, Tay.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I hope you're doing good. So I wanted to ask a question regarding adult friendship, since I recently made a lot of new, like, really good friends, and sometimes I even feel like I grew closer to them than my OG childhood friends, which is a little hard to deal with, honestly, and to acknowledge that.

[Taylor]

But.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. What's your take on adults, especially, like, adult girls friendships? I feel like it can be very hard, but it's also so enriching if you actually find them. Thank you.

[Taylor]

I feel like in Mel Robbins, I'm in the middle of the let them theory book, and I'm at the part about adult friendships, and one of the things she says about, like, having really close adult friendships, one of the main things is proximity, which I feel like, you know, like, you live in the same city, you do things together. Like, you're gonna develop deeper relationships with a person.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And I feel like that's so okay to be able to be like, yeah, I'm closer to these girls now than I probably was to my, like, high school girls. Because if you think about it, like. Like, a lot of the high school girls or, like, the girls you grew up with, you're not, like, making so many new memories with them. Like, what you have with them is, like, the past. And, like, I'm. I'm sure she's so grateful for it. Like, I'm so grateful for it. But it's hard to, like, make new memories when your proximity is not, you know, you see them maybe once or twice a year.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. Also, like we were saying before, we are going through such, like, deep, hard things right now.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

In our 30s that, like, the bonds we have are so deep, because, I mean, you're seeing me through one of the hardest chapters of my life, essentially, but one of the most transformative, and that's kind of irreplaceable.

[Taylor]

Totally irreplaceable. Like, even though we weren't at each other's weddings, like, which kind of doesn't mean anything. We'll see each other's kids grow up, which is crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, like, that's crazy. And then also, I wanted to add, my therapist always says, like, think of friendships as orbits. Like, you're a planet and think of orbits. Not everyone has to be on the closest orbit to you, for sure. You can have friends who are on the second or third orbit for sure.

[Taylor]

And they're still your friends, period. Your therapist is amazing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

My queen.

[Taylor]

We love her.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We love.

[Taylor]

She gives the best advice.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I know. I've been seeing her for like six years now.

[Taylor]

Yeah, she's great.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Denise.

[Taylor]

Hey, Mari and Taylor. I am so excited to hear this podcast episode and girl chat. I'm sure there will be lots of wealth, knowledge and I just wanted to ask, how do you deal with when you set boundaries and do you experience any guilt? And if so, how do you navigate through that? I would love to hear that and thanks so much and look forward to continue to hear more of the girl chats. Bye, guys. Love you.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thanks, Denise.

[Taylor]

Oh, my God. Boundaries. Yeah. Insane.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[Taylor]

We could do a whole podcast on.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That because we both, I think, naturally.

[Taylor]

Struggle with that, for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But we've both improved.

[Taylor]

We have both improved. And even you were saying this yesterday, you were just like, I feel like I always have to text back immediately. It's like. Like, I think recognizing the patterns that feel like you feel like you are pushing yourself over the boundary are a great place to start. Right.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That's so good.

[Taylor]

Right?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. We were talking about, like, guilt about texting back, perhaps guilt with ever turning down plans. Like, that does come hand in hand with having adult friendships.

[Taylor]

Yeah. And boundaries are so important. Like, like, if your friends are going out during the week and you just want to sit at home and make a healthy dinner, like, choose what you feel like really is going to feel you for that night. Like, yeah, do you have a busy day the next day? Like, maybe stay home and like, then see your friends on the weekend?

[Mari Llewellyn]

I also think it's okay to say that out loud. Like, I feel like I've been practicing saying, like, yeah, I've noticed I get, like, really stressed if I go out on weeknights. So what if we do something Saturday?

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And if you tell them that for sure, they're like, moving forward. Oh, note to self, I probably won't ask Taylor to go out on a weeknight.

[Taylor]

And that's so fine. Because, like, my time during the week is really sacred.

[Mari Llewellyn]

One thing I will say about our friend group is that we're pretty honest.

[Taylor]

I feel like, yes. You know, I feel like everyone is pretty honest, and I feel like being able to voice that over to people. And maybe you don't feel comfortable doing that with your friends, but just, like, putting it out there for someone to know, so important, so important.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And it helps them, like, like, treat you accordingly.

[Taylor]

You don't want to be thrown around, like, as a friend, period, if you say yes to everything. Like, I remember, like, a year ago when, like, I was so, so, so busy with plans, and I said yes to everything. Like, you kind of just feel like a rag doll. You feel like almost like a ping pong ball, like, going back and forth and, like, you don't have enough time for yourself.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And then you start to lose, like, you know, 100.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Savannah. Okay.

[Taylor]

Hi. Number one, I literally love you so much. Number two, how do you all deal with, like, you know, being in Austin? You're surrounded by a bunch of successful, beautiful, entrepreneurial women that are, like, achieving amazing things in life. What is some advice you could give just with, like, genuinely, you know, lifting each other up within a friendship instead of, like, competing or being jealous of one another's achievements? Like, what is some friendship advice you could give in that aspect? Love you. Bye.

[Mari Llewellyn]

These are so good.

[Taylor]

Such great questions.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Oh, my God. And they're all so different.

[Taylor]

I mean, it's very. It's very interesting being in Austin. I feel like I've never had a group of friends that have been so successful in their own lives. And I mean, like, me and my husband work, you know, he's in tech and I work in marketing. And it's very, you know, it's not like we own, like, a CPG company where, like, so many of our friends do, but I think it's just like being able to just be a really good friend. Yeah. And not compare yourself. Like, of course, every day. Everyone has imposter syndrome. You do? I do. Like, we. Everyone struggles with it, and it's not a weird thing to say. And I think it's just normal part of being in life, and especially at.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This age 100, I think realizing that everyone's a human being for sure, and anyone who presents otherwise is lying for sure. You know? Like, I think we have so many successful, amazing friends. And yeah. Austin is a city that's so prosperous and everyone's doing cool things, I think, like, just, like, letting down your wall and being Vulnerable as a friend has made me realize that even people that I viewed as untouchable are just real people.

[Taylor]

Yeah. You know, and it doesn't matter the. How big your house is or how much money you have. Like. Yeah, everyone is such a person at the end of the day, and you really have the opportunity to connect with people on that level.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think jealousy is such a dangerous. I mean, we've talked about this. Like, I'm not a very competitive person. Like, I am with myself, but not at all with other people.

[Taylor]

Not at all.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I don't think you are either.

[Taylor]

I'm not. I think I would. I'm more competitive with myself.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And of course, like, you have those feelings of, you know, insecurity from time to time, but I don't ever project that onto people or onto myself because it just, it's. It's not healthy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think jealousy is a really toxic trait to have in friendships. Like, it really affects relationships. And. Yeah, I think if you struggle with jealousy, I think that's what worth getting therapy for and like, trying to figure out and get to the root cause of. And I think if you have someone who's jealous of you, that's a really great, like, let them moment. And like, I'm gonna take space from that because there's no room for that. And I think taking inspiration is a far better use of your time.

[Taylor]

Like, totally flip the script.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Totally.

[Taylor]

Like, there's.

[Mari Llewellyn]

There's things that, like, characteristics you have that I would love to have that I'm just inspired by same and that I like, take little pieces of. I'm like, oh, my gosh, what would Taylor do in this situation? Or like, you know what I mean? Just like, whatever.

[Taylor]

And I think jealousy is. It is. I think if you can recognize that someone's jealous, you have the ability to step back and be like, you know what that person is projecting onto me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

I'm not doing anything wrong. Which, you know, like, that's something that, like, we can totally understand. And jealousy is just something that, like, deep down, someone needs to really, really tap into because it's. If you're a jealous person on the inside, it's showing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yep. And don't dull your shine for anyone else.

[Taylor]

Don't do that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I feel like I've done that a couple times where I feel like I've made people uncomfortable and I'm like, let me actually make myself smaller to make this person feel better. I've done that.

[Taylor]

Or try to fit in a box. Oh, my God. The amount of times I've tried to do that like, like crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think we're getting so much better about it.

[Taylor]

We are. And like. Yeah. Down the line, watch out.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

When we have kids five, ten years, it's over. It's over.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We're gonna have no friends left. Okay, Maddie.

[Taylor]

Hello, Maureen Taylor.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So here's my situation.

[Taylor]

My best friend of 11 years is getting engaged to a guy who has treated her pretty poorly. They broke up and ended up getting back together. And both feel that it's very right. Kind of on a religious standpoint, which is fine. But I'm really worried he's gonna go back to his old habits of texting his ex and not showing her off the way she deserves, things like that. So I'm trying to be a supportive best friend, but at the same time, I can't fully be excited for her when she's showing me ring pictures and getting all excited about her engagement. Any advice or tips on this?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thanks.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is our first situation entry.

[Taylor]

Really?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Normally they're just asking, like, questions. This is the first, like, situation. So we need to give good advice.

[Taylor]

Okay. I can talk to this. This is a really good let. Let her situation. I think you can bring it up to her once, talk it out, and be like, I don't love how he treats you. I. This is an example from when he did this. This is this. And, like, I'm happy for you, but I want you to make this decision. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

[Mari Llewellyn]

And so you would say something.

[Taylor]

Yes. Yes, I would say something. If you had the opportunity to.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Okay.

[Taylor]

I mean, like, obviously this is very far down the line. Like, I kind of wish you said this a little bit beforehand. Maybe you have, but I think that having one honest conversation, if there is a moment in time where you feel comfortable doing that so important, you get it off your chest, you can move forward and you can let her have the situation because this is something that she's choosing to do. She's choosing this path for her self and is able to, like, make that decision.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. And I think just emphasizing, like, I.

[Taylor]

Will support you either way, a thousand percent. I will support you. I'm here for you. This is what I think. Like, tap into the honesty. Like, we have to be honest.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. And you'll be in the wedding regardless.

[Taylor]

Yeah. And you'll put on a face, and you'll be so happy for them, and you will make sure that you give the best maid of honor speech. But at the end of the day, guess what? It's not your husband, period. And it's not how your boyfriend or your husband treats you. And you know that you wouldn't want that for yourself. And I think I am sometimes, too, as someone, like, who tends to get into my friend's relationships, like, I want to be. I want to understand, like, your. I want to be close to your husband. I want to know, like, X, Y, and Z. But at this point, it's like, step back. It's literally not your relationship.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So good.

[Taylor]

Right?

[Mari Llewellyn]

So good. I keep. I can say this because Fee literally came on the show and talked about it. Hey, Fee, if you're listening. Whenever Fee was in her previous relationship, and I blatantly was just not happy with the way he was treating her, and I felt like she could do so much better. I kept my mouth shut for so long, and I definitely got really resentful of him. And then when finally she opened up to me about how he was treating her, I, like, took that moment to be like. And I was very careful with how I said it. It. But I was like, I feel like you could get so much better. You could be treated so much better. I don't think that this is fair to you, but I'm here, whatever you decide. So I kind of did that.

[Taylor]

Yeah, you did.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And, yeah, look at her now.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thriving.

[Taylor]

Thriving.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But we wish you luck, Maddie.

[Taylor]

We do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is a good one for us.

[Taylor]

Okay, go.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is from Haley.

[Taylor]

Hi, Mari. Love your podcast. Love your content. You are so extremely inspiring, and I just love following you. I wanted to get your guys's opinion or just a little bit of advice.

[Mari Llewellyn]

On how to navigate feeling as though.

[Taylor]

You need to be perfect and feeling.

[Mari Llewellyn]

As though everyone is analyzing you and judging you. I am planning my wedding currently, and I was so stressed and overwhelmed by what people were gonna think or say about decorations or my dress or all.

[Taylor]

That, that I decided to cancel my wedding fully.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And we're now eloping, and we're going abroad. We're going to Italy for our wedding.

[Taylor]

Which is so exciting, but I'm still.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Stuck in this spiral of what are people going to say? What are people going to think?

[Taylor]

Are they going to judge my photos.

[Mari Llewellyn]

My videos, all that stuff? So what would you say is a really good way to approach this issue.

[Taylor]

And how to just, like, work on this going forward? Like, I don't want to live like this forever, you know?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Oh, yeah, Haley, you don't want to live like that forever for sure. And I think eloping in Italy sounds amazing. Oh, I have a hard time relating Because I don't care what people think at all. If I. I don't really think about.

[Taylor]

That stuff, I. I understand it. I don't really think about it either. But I think everyone kind of has, like, a little bit of that in them for sure. But it just seems like it might be a little bit stronger for her, I think. Think wedding planning is so stressful. Like, I had such a stressful experience with it.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

So I think that kind of heightens everything.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But I think that, like, just. Just remembering, like, to live in the present and, like, be with your husband and, like, enjoy. If you guys are eloping, like, that gave me goosebumps. Like, I'm so excited for that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

But I think that if you constantly think about what other people are thinking, like, you're gonna spend so much time and stress and, like, burn through all your cortisol and just be, like, in this constant state of fight orf flight and just being, like, so unhappy with where you're at in the present. And I think if you're able to just focus on what's in front of you, you won't think about other people.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I also think anyone looking at your photos and judging the way that you did your wedding is sad.

[Taylor]

Totally sad.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Like, whoever's projecting their negative energy onto your.

[Taylor]

Yeah. Maybe there's a friend that she's thinking of that, like.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

You know, I guess when I planned.

[Mari Llewellyn]

My wedding, I really didn't have friends, so perhaps that's why I'm thinking that way. But, like, anyone trying to take away from your happiness is not happy themselves.

[Taylor]

Yeah. A thousand percent. Like, you know, she might have a friend that's going through, like, a bad relationship or that kind of thing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Projecting it onto her.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You do you queen.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

How do we say congratulations in Italianos? I don't know.

[Taylor]

No, that was something else. Didn't.

[Mari Llewellyn]

That's birthday.

[Taylor]

That was birthday. No, but you did. That didn't. Didn't we fact check that word?

[Mari Llewellyn]

The other day you were like, why.

[Taylor]

Did you make his birthday invitation Spanish for Greg?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah. The last voice message is from Jasa.

[Taylor]

Hi, Mari. I am such a fan of your podcast. I listen to you every week, and I am rooting for you and Greg to have a little baby. Me and my husband myself have been going through some very hard fertility issues. We've been trying for almost two years, and we still have no answers. So listening to you every week brings a smile to my day. And I just. I just love hearing all of your hacks for things and I just want to know baby related questions. What are you going to do and eat when you're pregnant? When you find out you're pregnant?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thanks.

[Taylor]

Bye.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Gosh. What will I do and eat when I'm pregnant? I mean I have a. A vision of what I would like to do, but it's difficult to say until you get there. I think I'll do my. I know at the beginning it's difficult to even get anything down at all.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So I think I'll just do my best to get nutrients in, but I feel like protein.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Nutrients, you know, kind of what I do now, I guess.

[Taylor]

Yeah. I think all things are important, but I also think stress too.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Stress and I think also just like not putting too much expectations on yourself.

[Taylor]

I think for sure. Take the nap.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Take the nap.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And we don't know. I mean, you know, I think part of this is like just going into it and being down to be flexible. I think is the biggest piece.

[Taylor]

Peace for sure.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And not trying to over control the situation totally. I think this is a good place to conclude. We got some good voice messages.

[Taylor]

So fun. I can't wait to come back.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You crush. No, we need to do a part two.

[Taylor]

We will do a part two because.

[Mari Llewellyn]

We have so much more to talk about.

[Taylor]

We do have a lot more to talk about. Maybe on a serious note as well.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This was pretty serious.

[Taylor]

You think so?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Okay.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I feel like we definitely giggled a little, but we did adult friendships. We talked, talked like supporting each other, finances. I mean we went all over the place.

[Taylor]

We did. We did go all over. You crushed it. Oh my God. Thanks.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thanks, Tay.

[Taylor]

Thanks for having me here. I feel so grateful. Love you so much.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Love you.

[Taylor]

Bye. Pow.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Bye.

[Taylor]

Pow.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast to support support this show. Please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my [e-mail] it will be linked in the show notes. This podcast is a Pursuit Network production brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartese, Daviel Waldner, Jen Lauren and Mackenzie Meisel. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at. Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Love you po girls and po boys. I will see you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.