← Raising Good Humans
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome to Raising Good humans podcast. I'm Dr. Eliza Pressman and it's just us today. I wanted to just have a solo episode and go over 10 ways to cultivate relationships. Sounds totally simple, but the reason I wanted to set aside some time to talk through concrete research backed ways to cultivate close relationships is because you know that relationships are sort of the umbrella protective buffer for whatever comes your way and your children's way. And so we know that relationships are kind of critical, not kind of critical, they are the thing that we can actually control ourselves in relationship to the people that we love. We know that there are massive benefits to having a close relationship with at least one adult caregiver. We also know from the largest running study from Harvard University that close connected relationships are also the key to longevity and happiness. So. So knowing that if you struggle to have a close connected relationship with your young person, these are some ways to just kind of make sure to check in with yourself to promote the best possible connection. I know that it's like all easy to say not to worry, your kids have you and they have, they just need that one caregiver in their life to buffer the impact of toxic stress stressors and move them from the categorization of toxic to tolerable, which can build resilience. But it's another thing to know how to check and make sure you're actually cultivating a close relationship. It's a lot easier if you grew up in a healthy, securely attached relationship with one adult in your life, ideally a parent. But if you didn't, this is what's here for you, going to go through it today. So I'm going to go through the neuroscience of why some relationships feel a little bit more effortless and others feel like work and give you the strategies, evidence based, that can transform how you connect with your kids and your partner and really anyone in your life. And they are rooted in decades of research. So let's get to it. And I just, I want to tell you that if you check in with yourself and notice if you're satisfied with your relationships in your life, if you were satisfied with your relationship with the adults in your life when you were a kid, it can help you kind of have that moment of reflection to decide where you are, you know, like what do you need to have a high quality relationship? And of course just the neuroscience of getting that high quality relationship. And look, some things aren't easy to describe in the science, some things are just well, relational. And so you just, you know them when they're happening, they just are. But I can't help you with those because that's kind of your inner life and your experience in connection with others. So I'm going to give you the tips that I can help you with concretely. And then when you mix them up with who you are as a person, because, you know, you're awesome, you know, you're lovable and loving. So let's make sure that that's coming across and that your kids are getting that sense as well, and again, other people in your life. So the first thing is to practice emotional co regulation. So that's number one, because we know that, you know, think about Dan Siegel, for example. His research on interpersonal neurobiology shows that our nervous system sync up with those that we're close to. And so we know that when caregivers remain regulated, when a child is in distress, and I mean safe distress, meaning they're not in danger, because please don't stay regulated, when your child is in actual danger, then you need to just act, you need to save them, rescue, make sure their bodies are safe. And obviously that's different. But when you know that their distress is safe and it's just their experience, then your regulation can actually activate your child's parasympathetic nervous system, which is basically a think of it as like the system that tells you you're safe, you could take a nap, you know, like, you don't have to be on high alert. And that promotes their emotion regulation. I would say these are the three things that can help with that. I mean, there are so many things, obviously I talk about this all the time, but try the stop technique. Stop is you take a breath, you observe your child's emotional state, and you proceed with calm presence. So it forces you basically to take a breath and tell your body, everybody's safe. I can be calm and regulated so that I can lend that nervous system to my child, mirror their energy level and then bring it down. So like whatever they're bringing, mirror it first and then bring it down. Like imagine there's a boiling pot of water and you're just turning down the heat. So that's going to involve taking breaths. And now you're regulated. Maybe you lower your voice, not like a zombie, but just more like you're again turning the volume down. Maybe you even actually turn your volume down. And the third thing I would say is along those lines, use your voice as a regulating tool. So when you have a slower, lower tone, it actually Activates that vagus nerve. Again, all of these are just words that say, I'm telling you that you are safe. And so I will also say that I'm using a pretty calm, regulated voice right now, and it's pretty low and mellow. 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Okay, so the next thing, number two for cultivating close relationships is to engage in what researchers call serve and return interactions. So that comes from Harvard center for the Developing Child, which shows, among, by the way, many other research institutes that show that back and forth exchanges build brain architecture. So this particular research, actually Pat Kuhl does beautiful research on this and I did have her on the podcast maybe five years ago. Her studies reveal that babies who experience more serve and return have stronger language development and better social cognition. So serve in return. Think of playing ping pong or tennis. You're kind of receiving what they send you and giving it back to them. And so it's a back and forth interaction just like serve in return is. And so it keeps it so that you're teaching your little ones when you make a bid for my attention, even if you're pre verbal and you're just, you know, smiling or sticking out your tongue or making a razzing sound like a little six month old that you, the adults in their life make that sound back and then expand on it and then they come back to you with maybe a smile or another sound or a giggle or a look. So you go back and forth and it, it's like a ping pong match or a tennis match. That's where serve and return, that's where that metaphor comes from. And it really does grow language development and social cognition, like your ability to even understand what other people are going for in a conversation. Okay, so notice and respond to bids for attention, particularly with babies and toddlers, within 30 seconds. Match your chat. That kind of means like pick times where you're not on your phone because you just can't respond when you're on your phone. So if you have to do work, I. Especially when kids are younger and they can't really understand, I think it's super helpful to go into another room. Like say, I'm going to go into the other room to look at my phone and just make that kind of okay with you. Obviously, as long as they're safe, like, set aside some time to check in versus feeling like, oh, I'm going to look at my phone while I'm with my little one, because then I don't have to leave them. No, I actually think you're better off leaving them. Checking your phone, checking your work, checking your schedule, checking in with people that are not babies and toddlers, and then going back to be with your littles. Okay. And then match your child's communication style. And this is true whether they're babies or teenagers. So just like you would in a conversation with an adult, like, if you're super enthusiastic and loud and bubbly and you interact with someone who's kind of giving you a different rhythm, you would meet them where they are because that helps them feel like you're connected. Right. It's a little bit of a mirroring. And so you do the same thing with young people. And whether that's a super enthusiastic toddler or a super chill teenager who's just sort of like, let's not make a big deal of this. You match them with their communication style and they feel much more seen. And then this is a classic five to one ratio is for. For every five positive interactions, you can do a corrective interaction. I mean, nobody actually lives like that where you're counting those things. But just in your mind, just think, am I making corrections constantly and having positive interactions less regularly? You want those positive interactions that are not rooted in correcting or teaching to be the more heavy ones. Like, that's the norm. And then so like, don't count. But just kind of imagine for every five of those interactions, you can have one where you're doing corrections. Otherwise it teeters on being annoying or, you know, having your kids feel like it's all about. And again, this goes. This would be true in the workplace. This would be true in a romantic relationship with friends. If everything is about correcting them and adjusting them and even constructive feedback, it just starts to feel like they are not enough. So you're. It's much more effective to have more, you know, like a five to one ratio of just positive connected moments. And then you have you've put money in the bank for the feedback. Number three, create predictable rituals and routines. I can't stress enough how boring is really soothing because you can have lots of interesting, amazing interactions in the context of a pretty predictable life of rituals and routines, Especially with younger developing brains, but certainly even with adults, we kind of like to know. So we know that predictability reduces cortisol, which is the stress hormone, and it allows our brain to focus on connection instead of survival. So we want certain things to be so predictable that everybody just feels, you know, like this is just a warm bath of chill. There's so much research out there that families that have consistent brain rituals have children with better emotion regulation and stronger family bonds. So you don't need to have rituals that are religious in orientation. They could be game night every Friday or they could be everybody. You know, you have pancake breakfast on Sundays or whatever works for your family. But do try to have something super consistent. And rather than trying to make something happen every single day and, you know, overreaching, just do things that are, that are doable, that, you know, can become consistent. So sometimes I find it easier to establish micro rituals like a family handshake or a bedtime song that you always sing with younger kids. Even, you know, weekly one on one coffee runs. I'm very oriented around coffee. But you know, they make like, if your kids are too young for coffee, they can have the little baby chinos. Okay, then I absolutely recommend creating transition objects and phrases that signal that something is, you know, happening. So this is a silly little example, but let's say it's bath time for your young one instead of just like springing it on them. Let's say you always have a bathtime song that you sing. Know, like, I'm gonna. I'm tone deaf. But like, bath time, bath time. It's Penelope's bath time. So you're literally just taking two seconds to sing a song that you've made up, but it signals that transition so that your child doesn't go into the panic because it's just, it's this predictable thing that happens. And now for a quick break. It is officially Halloween, which basically to me means we are at full holiday season. And this episode is brought to you in part by Saks Fifth Avenue. They have a holiday gift guide not to be believed. So if you want fun and inspired ways to shop at Saks for the holidays, just go to their website, go to Saks.com and you can find gifts for even the pickiest people and treat yourself to something nice. Now. I am very makeup and skincare oriented during the holidays in part because I have three teenage girls to get presents for. So I just know that's a home run. They have so many beauty gifts from not just makeup and skincare, but like amazing hair dryers and masks and like miniature sets that you can get to make things special for the holidays and for traveling and for college students. Highly recommend. Do you guys remember Guerlain's like meteorite setting and finishing pearls and their bronzer that was so big when I was in my late teens. It's back. Or maybe it's been around this whole time and I just noticed it again on Saks.com but that's on my list. It was so luxurious and beautiful. So just saying. Go to Saks.com and head to Saks Fifth Avenue for inspiring ways to shop for everyone on your list. So you guys know that I have been partners with Kiwico for so long because they're awesome and I really do think they're such a great solution for when parents are feeling overwhelmed and kind of just feel like there's only one option, which is a screen to just give them a break. But now there's Kiwico, which has crates that have everything you could possibly need to do a project. And there is no thinking or effort required on the part of the parent, which you know is important sometimes. And they make such a great holiday gift because they're hands on, they're fun, they're educational, they're fun to open. You don't have to impose more effort for the parent or caregiver that you're giving it to. And they have eight crate lines, so there's something for every age and interest kids can build and play over and over again. So they're not just one and done. Crates encourage creativity, curiosity, persistence, all values that last well beyond the holidays. So we used to do Kiwi crates all the time and everything was kind of fun because you can actually engage kids when you're doing hands on projects because they're in it, they're not distracted by anything and it's screen free. You're discovering your skill building. It's convenient. So tinker, create and celebrate this holiday with Kiwico. Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com promo code RGH. That's up to 50% off your first Crate at kiwico.com K I W I C O promo code RGH. All right, number four, practice authentic vulnerability. Now I know vulnerability is Kind of a popular catchphrase now, because. Thank you, Brene Brown. Her research highlighted that appropriate vulnerability deepens relationships and it models emotional courage. So parents who share age appropriate struggles actually raise more resilient kids than parents who try to be, you know, quote unquote, perfect for their kids. So I really want you to share age appropriate struggles now. Again, we never need your kids to be burdened with keeping you safe. You're just letting them know that, like, you know, that there's wear and tear in the world so you might admit mistakes and model repair. You know, I raised my voice. That was not okay. I'm so sorry. I'm working on that. You might say I had a really frustrating day at work. This is my problem to solve. This is not your problem. I just was letting you know in case I seem a little distracted. And here are a couple things I'm going to do to make sure that I, I have the brain space to think about it. I'm gonna go for a run or I'm gonna take a shower or. It really depends again, on your kids, ages. You obviously are probably not saying that to a toddler. And then finally, I would say asking for help makes children feel pretty valued when it's authentic. So let them help you. If you're feeling overwhelmed around the house, give them a job. It really does help kids feel valued. It helps them be of value and it shows that you're not, you know, above asking for help. I was actually thinking about it during the pandemic. If you were lucky enough to be in a situation where you were safe and with your family and, yes, exhausted, but, you know, you kind of knew that you were going to have food and shelter and things would be okay. It was just isolating when kids were really helpful because it was just like there was just too much to do. You had to start having kids be more helpful, even just with chores. They knew that those were not just chores for the sake of, you know, checking a list of like, oh, I made my kids do chores and that's good for them. But actually it was valued in the household. I think that was incredibly helpful for kids during that time. Obviously, that was a very extreme time, but I think it speaks to just how important it is to be valued and to feel of value. Number five, do not underestimate the power of physical touch for having good relationships. There's a researcher, Dr. Tiffany Fields, who actually has the Touch Research Institute, and they show that appropriate touch releases oxytocin and reduces cortisol. I mean, honestly, Just putting your hand on your heart when you're taking a breath or hearing something that's difficult can give you a sense of safety and give you a little oxytocin boost. There, I just did it right now. And we know that children who receive regular affectionate touch have better stress regulation and stronger immune systems long term. Now I do the 20 second hug that supposedly releases oxytocin. So we have oxytocin time in my house and my kids make so much fun of me, but I demand it. Now, you can't really demand that unless you're. You're sort of. You have enough humor in your relationship where that goes over well. So I don't recommend leading with that. But I think it's a wonderful thing to implement if, if there is, you know, receptiveness in the household, like I definitely shared with my husband, I need 20 second hugs. Do I necessarily think that that's the only way to get the oxytocin boost that you get? Like a 20 second hug? I mean, if you don't like that or if it's annoying for you, you'll find other ways. But just. Even though I, of course, respect boundaries, offering consistent, safe touch, human touch is so effective and sometimes our words are just too much. And so it's nice to just know that there's other ways of connecting. And physical touch is one of those ways. And it can actually be really powerful during difficult conversations. Like, you can make a decision to hold hands or to touch, you know, gently touch someone's shoulder or hand if you're having a difficult conversation to sort of balance out and give the tone of, like, overall safety. So do not underestimate the power of touch. Of course, it goes without saying, but I'm going to say it. If your child or your partner is uncomfortable with touch in that kind of way, obviously it is no longer giving positive feedback and releasing oxytocin and reducing cortisol, because that's not their way of communicating. But for the majority of young people and humans alike, when people we love touch us in a safe way with, of course, respecting boundaries, I have to be so careful with this because, of course, course, I don't want to misstep, but that is a wonderful source of human connection. Number six, implement mindful listening. Okay, so I've already quoted Dan Siegel once today, but I mean, I love him. His work is great and he put a big quote at the front of my book, the Five Principles of Parenting. I'm just plugging the book, but also plugging Dan Siegel, so, so he has something called the Kohl approach, which is really helpful for mindful listening, and he just loves acronyms. So this one is Curious, Open, accepting, loving. So the Cole approach activates social engagement systems in the brain because when children feel truly heard, and again, same with adults, but particularly with children, it really does strengthen neural pathways associated with feelings of self, self worth and communication skills. So being curious, open, accepting, and loving gives. And even if you say that to yourself, like in you're about to engage in conversation, or you're picking your child up from school, or they're telling you a story, think curious, open, accepting, loving, so that you ask more questions so that you really listen. Remember a couple weeks ago when Lisa d' Amore was on the podcast and she was suggesting almost pretending like you're, you're going to need to write like a journalist when you are listening to your kids. Like, you're gonna have to really understand what they're trying to say and, and report back. That way you're, you're not focused on kind of what you're going to say to your kids or like the advice you're giving, but you're really listening. And in order to do that, putting devices away, especially nowadays when we have devices with us so often putting devices away for conversations, making eye contact, again, unless it's uncomfortable, you know, or you prefer no eye contact, and then, you know, take a walk or go in the car or doodle while you're talking. But, but certainly whatever way of mindful listening that helps the person on the other side feel felt and then reflect back what you hear. So don't offer solutions before just saying, I want to make sure I understand. I think what you're trying to say is. And then tell them what you think they're trying to say. And don't give advice, don't have judgment in it. It is truly curious, open, accepting, loving. And then, of course, this is a very common phrase in therapy, so you, you know, use it mindfully, particularly with older kids and adults, because they're already onto this. But the phrase tell me more about that helps you get deeper understanding. You might need to tweak the phrase, but the underlying message of tell me more about that is I want to hear more. I'm not interested in anything but what you are trying to say, and I really want to understand it. And so I'm open for more. So just keep that tell me more about that in mind, but translate it, however sounds authentic to you. And also, again, like, so you don't sound like you're in a therapy session. And now for a quick break. This episode is brought to you in part by BetterHelp. Okay, here's the thing about BetterHelp. BetterHelp is a really wonderful way to get online therapy, especially because it is so hard to find time and licensed professionals for online therapy. So as the seasons changed and the days grow darker, it can be a tough time for a lot of people, especially during the holiday season. So if you this November, Better Help is encouraging everyone to reach out to check in on friends, to reconnect with loved ones, and to remind people in your life that you are there. And just as it can take a little courage to send that message or grab a coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can feel really difficult. But it is so worth it. And most people, once they do it, are like, why didn't I do this sooner? Your mental health is critical to the mental health of your kids. So if you are struggling and you want support, this is a way to get some better help. Therapists work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the US and this month you do not need to wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com humans that's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com humans I want to tell you about Suvi because it's awesome. So this is a way that you can feed your family at home with no planning or prepping or cleaning. Suvi is a smart countertop oven and a flexible meal delivery service in one okay, so I got sous vide a couple of months ago. It really does save so much time. It a kitchen robot with a built in refrigeration system so you can set up dinner in the morning and Suvi keeps it cold until it's time to cook and you don't have to be home to start it. It has a tap to cook technology so you prep dinner in a couple of minutes. You load the meals into the sous vide cooking pans, tap the card to your appliance and set what time you want the food to be ready and then it's ready. It's like being in an episode of the Jetsons and they are chef crafted meals that are delivered right to the door. So you choose between 50 meals with new options added each week and then the kitchen robot that fits on Your counter has 15 cook modes. It has like air fry and slow cook and microwave. You just, it's crazy. It's truly like a Jetson situation. So you can stop spending hours in a kitchen and just get a kitchen robot. Go to suvie.com humans to get 16 free meals when you order. That's S u v I e.com humans save time and eat better with SUV. Okay, so there is something called Flavcity and it's a really good way to upgrade your everyday better for you sips because they have protein smoothies and essential drink mixes that have collagen and fiber and electrolytes. But in this era of like junky protein drinks with ingredients that have names that you can't recognize, it's nice that Flav City kind of gives you a much more simple, easy, real ingredients that, you know, give you the gazillion grams of protein that you need. So they have real ingredients and they just launched their very own lattes that are made with a hundred percent grass fed whole milk. They have vanilla latte, salted caramel macchiato, chocolate chunk, mocha cinnamon jolt latte, sweet almond drop latte, brown sugar latte. It's a lot of lattes. A lot of lattes. So I am a vanilla latte person. But go to Flav City and find the one that you like best. Visit shopflafcity.com and use the code good human15 at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That's shop flavcity.com and use the code Good Humans15 for 15 off your first order. Exclusively for Raising Good Humans listeners. Number seven. This is my favorite foster shared joy and laughter. Laughing together is so important. We know there is so much neuroscience and developmental science that shows that sharing positive emotions creates lasting neural bonds. We just know that people truly, truly connect and they don't forget about that connection when they laugh together and they have those strong moments. And actually, even during moments of high stress, being able to share a laugh together and letting your kids know that there is no moment that's too serious, that you can't burst into laughter. Like that should be the tone of the household. Like, we love you. We can have really sad, hard moments in life and still have a sense of humor together. Not laughing at someone, certainly that wouldn't be the right timing, but that like, you know, jokes are free. Being able to enjoy shared laughter is free shared laughter. And, and even if you, if you aren't in a groove where you guys know how to make each other laugh. Find things that you both think are funny. A TV show or a movie, or like, heaven forbid, an Instagram reel. Like something that everybody can agree is funny and share it with each other because it helps have inside jokes and family stories. Repeat funny stories, like generationally funny stories. You know, every time I can think of something funny that my grandmother, Mama Bina used to say she was very funny, I will repeat it to my kids. They, they only knew her for just a very brief moment in their early childhood, but they know the funny jokes that are part of our family lore. And so that is helpful. And you really can use humor to diffuse tension. I am not saying to use humor to dismiss feelings, because that could be really just uncool, but use your judgment and know when it can diffuse tension and you can come back to a moment where you need to have a serious conversation. But maybe we just need tension. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've chosen the path of humor instead of snapping back. And I've never regretted it. And I have regretted responding to a tense moment or a snippy young person with my own snapping. And I'm not. I do regret that. So you probably won't regret humor number eight, letting kids and anyone in your life have room for their own unique expression. So this comes from the science of self determination theory, but we just know that autonomy support strengthens relationships. It does not weaken them. So giving someone autonomy support, autonomy, supportive parenting in general, but, you know, again with, with partners and colleagues and peers as well. We know that people who feel like they have agency over their choices feel better and they have better outcomes in general. We know children whose individuality is celebrated instead of, you know, like expecting them to kind of be who we want them to be, but rather we celebrate who they already are. They are closer and more connected and have stronger family bonds. And they also have better mental health outcomes because feeling like you are worthy for exactly who you are is going to make it much easier to move through the world. So when they share their interests, ask about them without judgment, and absolutely offer choices when you can within boundaries, you know, a couple choices, not you get to do whatever you want because this is who you are. It's not a crutch. But just when choices are possible, offer them and celebrate their unique perspectives, even when they're different from yours. So this is an interesting time because there's an election coming up in a matter of days, and this is a time to both share your values and of course, your belief system as a family and also to celebrate and be curious about and less as, you know, as non judgmental as you can. Even if their perspectives are different. Especially because if you've got emerging adolescents or even, you know, young adults, they are individuating and they might move away from what your political beliefs are. It, they'll probably come back to it. But give them that room and have curiosity. I mean that's a whole conversation for another day because I understand that it's super fraught and you know, it's a little trickier when we talk about these big stakes issues. But celebrating your kids unique perspectives, whether it's their fashion choices or you know, their political choices, when you respect them and you're less judgmental, they actually will probably circle back to being more open and curious about yours. Now one thing, just like as an asterisk, Halloween's coming up today. In fact, if you're listening to this, the day this podcast comes out, and I just like being unique and dressing how you want is totally cool. It's also okay to say, hey, that's not safe. Like the reason I don't want you to wear that has nothing to do with your individual expression. It's just like not a safe thing to be wearing in this setting or whatever. So I'm not saying that celebrating individuality means you don't set limits or boundaries. I'm just saying try to be open and curious. If you historically are very, you know, find yourself being a little bit more controlling when it comes to autonomy support. Number nine. I mean, I think if you've ever listened to this podcast before, this is, you know this well. But practice repair and reconnection. So we know so much research that successful repair attempts are so much more important than avoiding conflict. That and by the way, few because we can't really successfully avoid conflict. But thinking of the rupture and repair model, acknowledging that there's been a disconnection or a rupture, taking responsibility, making amends or just sharing a laugh like, like sometimes it's not that deep. You've gotten to you. You realize there's a disconnect and you come back together. But it's just key that you come back together. Think of the 24 hour rule. I think that is originally from the Gottman Institute where the repair relationship is going to happen within the day. You don't let a day go by without repairing. And I also want to make sure that you model forgiveness and moving forward in general so you get to have lots of opportunities with Your friends, with your partners, with your children to model forgiveness and moving forward. But there's another person that it's critical to model forgiveness and moving forward with. And I, I think you can guess who it is. It's you. It doesn't work to focus on rupture and repair and connection and reconnection if you don't forgive yourself and move forward yourself if you keep berating yourself. So practice that internally and it will benefit everyone. And finally, number 10, cultivate gratitude and appreciation. We know how much practicing gratitude rewires the brain for connection and positivity. And we know that families who practice gratitude together have stronger connections because they have better communication and they believe in sort of the good, even when things are not going well. So three concrete tools. One, a daily appreciation practice. So name one thing that you appreciate about each person that you love in your family. And you don't need to make it formal. It doesn't need to be everyone. We're going to have our daily appreciation moment. Although if that's your jam, do it that way. But just kind of notice that every single day you catch yourself appreciating something about your loved one and saying it out loud. I really appreciate how smiley you are in the morning. I really appreciate the way you pet the dog. Like, it doesn't have to be big. It's the tiny little things. Another thing you can do is just write little gratitude notes and leave them in a jar. And then you can choose different times to look in the jar. Or you can have a poster on the wall that where you just like pin up a gratitude note for a member of the family. Or you can just have a white piece of paper on a, or a whiteboard and you just start writing notes. Like, I, I took the most delicious sip of hot coffee this morning. But you want to leave gratitude notes. You can also leave them under someone's pillow or right by where they're brushing their teeth. It's just like it's, it's getting into the habit of not only noticing when you appreciate someone or something, but being very active and explicit about when you do it. Really. Like, I can't tell you how effective that is in wiring, hunting for the good, which is such a good resilience building tool. Now don't forget that These are just 10 tips rooted in science. And just pick one, you don't need 10 at the same time. Pick one that resonates with you all. Pick one that resonates with where you and your family are right now. That's the really beautiful thing about relationships is that the small, consistent changes are what create profound shifts over time. And your brain and your child's brain are designed for relationships. They are designed for close connection. So. So sometimes all it is is clearing the path and being super intentional. So this week, I want you to pick one of these 10 strategies, and I want you to notice what happens in your body and in your child's response. Because connection is a practice. There is no destination. Not to get cheesy on you, but connection is not a destination. It is a practice. And you're practicing. And when you practice, things get stronger. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.