Podcast
Raising Good Humans
Hosted by Aliza Pressman · EN
As a parent, do you ever wish someone could just whisper some realistic and trustworthy support in your ear? And not make you feel awful for not having all the answers? Well, that's what I'm here for.
I'm Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist, NYT bestselling author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, Associate Clinical Professor, and Co-Founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. And I'm a mom... trying to raise good humans myself, so I'm in this with you!
In each episode, we'll go deep (but brief) with both experts and parents to share the most effective approaches and tools and talk about the important bigger picture of raising good humans. My goal is to make your parenting journey less overwhelming and a lot more joyful!
Please join me every Friday for new episodes of Raising Good Humans.
91episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Your Kids Are Wired to Flourish — Here's How to Get Out of Their Way
3d ago00:45:40Summary readyWhat if the most powerful thing you could do for your child's brain development has nothing to do with them at all? This episode is for any parent who has worried about screen time, big emotions, or whether they're doing enough — and hasn't realized that the most direct path to a flourishing child runs straight through their own mind. I'm joined by Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist, founder of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and author of Born to Flourish. What you'll learn: Why neuroplasticity is happening to your brain right now whether you want it to or not The four pillars of flourishing (awareness, connection, insight, and purpose) and the research-backed reason five minutes a day is enough to change your brain. Why flourishing is contagious — and what that means for the hardest kids, the most overwhelmed parents, and everyone in between. Sponsors: Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com The RealReal: The most trusted name in authenticated luxury resale. Get 25$ off your first purchase when you go to The RealReal.com/humans OneSkin: Unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH KiwiCo: Build the best summer ever with KiwiCo. Get $10 off on your Summer Adventure Series at kiwico.com/SUMMER, promo code HUMANS.
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Deodorant, Porn, and Nudes: How to Actually Talk to Your Tween About the Hard Stuff
1w ago00:45:05Summary readyWhat if the reason the hardest conversations with your middle schooler keep going badly isn't the topic — it's that we keep starting them like a lecture? This episode is for any parent who has braced themselves to "have the talk" about porn, dating, nudes, or consent and watched their kid mentally exit the room before the second sentence. I'm joined by Michele Icard, parenting expert and author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School. What you'll learn: Why most thorny conversations go wrong before they start, and the BRIEF model that fixes it. Why shame is the wrong tool. What you might be missing about middle school dating, consent, and touch hunger. The throughline of the whole conversation is practice. These aren't talks you nail on the first try, and the goal isn't a single perfect conversation — it's becoming fluent enough at curiosity that you stop needing an agenda at all. Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com Tumble: Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at Tumbleliving.com/HUMANS Merit Beauty: It's time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with Merit Beauty.comMyPhone by Ooma: Safe calling with parental controls. Go to ooma.com/myphone to shop phones and learn more.
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Perfectionism Isn't High Standards. It's Hurting Your Kid
2w ago00:27:42Summary readyWhat if what we call high standards in our kids, and quietly admire in ourselves, is actually something much more painful underneath? This episode takes on a question that hits closer to home than most parents want to admit: have I been confusing high standards with something more punishing, in my kids and in myself? I'm joined by Professor Thomas Curran, social psychologist at the London School of Economics and author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, whose research has reframed how a generation of psychologists, parents, and young people understand what perfectionism actually is. We get into why rates are climbing, why perfectionism is so often misread (as drive, as work ethic, as the humble brag we've all been trained to admire), and what it actually looks like to help your kid aim high without paying the hidden price. What you'll learn: Why perfectionism is shame, not standards. The deficit thinking underneath it ("how much less than I appear to others") and why what reads as procrastination, withdrawal, or "not trying" in your kid may actually be perfectionism, protecting them from a shame they can't put words to. (You can't fail at something you didn't try.) The myth that perfectionism produces success. The research, the burnout, the self-handicapping that hold perfectionists back, plus why the culture keeps rewarding it anyway: the job interview humble brag, the curated social feed, schools that prize over-achievement, and a narrowing economy that has parents pushing harder than they want to. What helps at home. Calibrating expectations so your child isn't permanently on tiptoes, decoupling love from accomplishment, modeling making mistakes (and forgiving yourself), the difference between perfectionism and conscientiousness, and how to foster a love of learning that outlasts any one grade. Understanding what perfectionism is helps us stop misreading our kids, soften the pressure we're passing on without meaning to, and protect the part of childhood where trying things and getting them wrong is still part of the joy. Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com Uresta: Learn more about this amazing breakthrough, trusted by over 50 thousand women at Uresta.com OneSkin: For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH
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Perimenopause Starts Earlier Than You Think — What Every Mom Needs to Know Now
3w ago00:43:07Summary readyWhat if the years where you feel less rested, less resilient, less yourself aren't burnout or bad parenting — but a hormonal transition no one prepared you for? This episode tackles a question every woman asks herself: am I losing my edge, or is something actually happening to me? I'm joined by Dr. Mary Claire Haver — the OB-GYN whose work has reshaped how an entire generation of women, doctors, and families talk about midlife, and the first person who made me feel sane in my own body when symptoms started showing up in my early 40s. We talk about why perimenopause is landing earlier than most women expect, why it gets misread as postpartum lag, work stress, or just "getting older," and why so many plugged-in women hear from their doctors that everything looks fine when nothing feels fine. What you'll learn: Why perimenopause is a brain event before it's an ovary event — and the symptoms (brain fog, mood swings, sleep disruption, weight changes, even a frozen shoulder) that can show up years before your periods get irregular, and almost never get connected back to hormones, even by your own doctor The real story of the Women's Health Initiative: what scared a generation of clinicians away from hormone therapy, what the evidence actually says now, and how to think about menopause hormone therapy, vaginal estrogen, and testosterone for women without the fear and without the scams (looking at you, vaginal lasers and pellet pushers) The non-negotiables to start in your 30s and 40s if you can — sleep, protein, lifting heavy, vitamin D, and finding a menopause-certified clinician — plus the five buckets of female sexual function Knowing what's happening inside your own body isn't extra. It's how you stop feeling crazy, find a clinician who actually believes you, and protect the version of yourself who gets to enjoy the decades still ahead. Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com Merit Beauty: It's time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with Merit Beauty.com
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The 3 Tools That Actually Work When Your Kid Won't Listen
May 100:27:34Summary readyWhat if your child's most "defiant" behavior at home isn't a discipline problem — but a sign of how safe you've made them feel? This solo episode tackles one of the most common questions we all have: what to do when your kid digs in, pushes back, and you can feel yourself slipping toward the version of bedtime you swore you'd never have. It comes on the heels of a Today Show segment with Hoda and Jenna that sparked a wave of comments split between recognition and resistance — much of it circling the same anxious question: isn't picking your battles just permissive parenting? This conversation walks through both the why and the how: why home is so often the place where the wildest behavior lands, why permissiveness is not what most of us think it is, and what to actually do in the bathroom at 7:45pm when your kid is still in their clothes and the bedtime window is closing. It also looks at the moments when no strategy is going to work because everyone's nervous system is too lit up, and what to do instead. What you'll learn: Why "defiant" behavior so often shows up the moment your child walks through the door and why that's usually a sign of safety, not a sign that something is wrong The real difference between picking your battles and being permissive, and how to choose your have-tos so you protect what actually matters (sleep, safety, connection) without dragging the whole family through an hour-long fight over a bath The three tools that tend to work in real time — choice, removing the barrier, and natural or logical consequences — plus what to do when both you and your child are too dysregulated for any of them to land, and a note for the parents of the orchid kids who feel like none of this works for them Holding the line while your child storms isn't strictness. It's the steady, loving presence that, over time, teaches them that the world has structure, and that you are the safe place to come home to. Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com
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Are You Oversharing With Your Kids — or Not Sharing Enough?
Apr 2401:02:02Summary readyWhat if oversharing isn't the real problem — and the quieter habit of holding back is what's keeping us, and our kids, from the connection we're looking for? Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Harvard Business School behavioral scientist and author Professor Leslie John to challenge one of the most widespread assumptions in modern parenting and culture: that the path to healthy relationships is learning to say less. It isn't. And understanding why could change how you show up with your partner, your colleagues, and your children. Professor John unpacks the surprising science behind self-disclosure, from the hidden cost of "TLI" (too little information) to how emotional literacy quietly shapes a child's ability to make friends, trust adults, and thrive, and why learning to reveal — adaptively, not recklessly — is one of the most important skills we can grow in our kids. What you'll learn: Why adaptive revealing is a teachable skill The parenting move that quietly teaches kids their feelings are something to hide, and what to do instead Why genuine curiosity, not performance, is the secret to helping your child make and keep friends Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com Professor Leslie John has published extensively on privacy, self-disclosure, and trust, and is the author of Revealing: How People Build and Reveal Themselves to One Another.
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Is Anxiety Your Secret Weapon?
Apr 1700:35:28Summary readyWhat if anxiety isn't the enemy but the edge you've been missing? Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with clinical psychologist, professor, and author Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary to challenge one of the most widespread misconceptions in modern parenting: that anxiety is something to be eliminated. It isn't. And understanding why could change how you show up for yourself and your kids. Dr. Dennis-Tiwary unpacks the surprising science and history behind anxiety, from its ancient roots to how modern psychiatry transformed a normal human emotion into a medical diagnosis, and why that shift has made things harder for all of us. What you'll learn: Why anxiety is actually a superpower (backed by dopamine and oxytocin science) The parenting mistake that makes kids' anxiety worse, and what to do instead Why "fixing" your child's feelings is the one thing you should stop doing today Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary has published over 100 peer-reviewed scientific articles and is the author of Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad).
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Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Food w/ Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff
Apr 1000:45:00Summary readyIn today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff to unpack what dopamine actually is—and how understanding it can completely shift the way we approach screens, food, and motivation in our kids’ lives. We talk about why dopamine isn’t about pleasure but about desire, and how that “do it again” loop can pull kids toward things that don’t actually make them feel good in the long run. We discuss practical, doable ways to redirect that drive—by replacing, not restricting—so kids naturally want the activities that support their well-being. We also explore why willpower isn’t the answer, how small environmental changes can make a big difference, and how starting tiny can help create lasting habits for a calmer, more connected home.I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Pre-order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/pre-order/Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: draliza.substack.com Follow me on Instagram for more:@raisinggoodhumanspodcast Wayfair: Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Way DayMinnow: That’s shopminnow.com code MEETMINNOW15 for 15% offAcademy of Nutrition & Dietetics: Visit eatright.org/everytable to learn more and find a nutrition and dietetics professionalLittle Spoon: Try Little Spoon Formula with their 2 can trial pack (Buy 1,Get 1 free-that’s $30 for 2 cans) at littlespoon.com/tryformulaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The Family as a Team: Why It Matters & How to Build It at Home
Apr 800:18:29Summary readyIn today’s episode, brought to you by Skylight, I walk through how shifting from being the “family manager” to a team leader can dramatically reduce the invisible load so many of us carry. We talk about why predictability and visual structure are so regulating for developing brains, how simple systems can support autonomy and executive functioning across ages, and why nagging tends to backfire. I share practical strategies for building shared responsibility at home—from weekly check-ins to visual task lists—and how tools like a centralized family calendar can make expectations clearer, reduce daily friction, and help everyone feel more capable and connected.Meet Skylight Calendar 2, available for $299.99 at https://myskylight.com/I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Pre-order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/pre-order/Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: draliza.substack.com Follow me on Instagram for more:@raisinggoodhumanspodcast See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Understanding Status: The Science Behind Respect and Influence (And What It Means for Parenting) w/ Professor Alison Fragale
Apr 300:49:28Summary readyIn today’s episode, I sit down with psychologist and professor Alison Fragale to explore the concept of status—what it really means, why the need to be respected is such a fundamental human drive, and how it shapes the way our kids navigate friendships, school, and their broader social world. We talk about how status often shows up differently for girls, the balance between being likable and being confident, and how subtle habits like self-deprecation can influence how our kids see themselves. We discuss a simple, powerful framework for understanding behavior through the lens of warmth and competence, along with practical ways to help kids build confidence, interpret social feedback, and develop relationships rooted in real respect rather than external validation.I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Pre-order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/pre-order/Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: draliza.substack.com Follow me on Instagram for more:@raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsored by: BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humansAcademy of Nutrition and Dietetics: Visit eatright.org/everytable to learn more and find a nutrition and dietetics professional.Little Spoon: littlespoon.com/TRYFORMULAProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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