Raising Good Humans Podcast: “10 Tips to Decrease Entitlement and Increase Gratitude” - Summary

Podcast: Raising Good Humans
Host: Dr. Aliza Pressman
Episode Date: November 28, 2025
Episode Theme: 10 Tips to Decrease Entitlement and Increase Gratitude

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman addresses a common parenting concern: how to prevent children from developing a sense of entitlement and instead nurture genuine gratitude. With Thanksgiving approaching, Dr. Pressman offers ten (plus a bonus eleventh) science-based, practical tips that parents can implement right away. The aim is to help children appreciate privilege without assuming it’s guaranteed, fostering resilience, contribution, and kindness along the way.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gratitude Hunts & "Rose, Bud, Thorn" Exercise

[02:00 - 03:35]

• Gratitude Hunt: Each day, model looking for small positives, regardless of the mood—literally stop to "smell the roses."
• "Rose, Bud, Thorn": Family activity naming one good thing (rose), something to look forward to (bud), and one difficult thing (thorn).
• Key Quote:

  “You can’t just say, ‘you should be grateful, don’t complain, you have so much.’ Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive… We don’t want our kids to fake gratitude.” – Dr. Aliza ([03:05])

2. Avoid Making Children the Center of Everything

[03:36 - 06:45]

• Express delight in your child, but don’t always put their needs above all else.
• Don’t interrupt adult conversations constantly for kids, and it’s okay to miss some events for your own needs.
• Personal Example: Dr. Aliza’s mom clapped at everything she did, leading to her expecting praise for every action.
• Key Quote:

  “It took away my capacity to just do something for myself… It made me feel entitled to have a reaction from other people every time I did anything.” – Dr. Aliza ([05:55])

3. Let Kids Have Experiences Without an Audience

[10:07 - 11:15]

• Purposefully miss some of your child’s games or events. Not every accomplishment requires a parent’s audience.
• This helps them realize they’re not always performing for someone else and that not everything requires external validation.

4. Chores Build Contribution & Reduce Entitlement

[11:16 - 15:00]

• “If I had to pick the number one thing … give them chores.”
• Even young kids (age 3+) can help; older kids can manage despite busy schedules.
• Research links chores to both academic and emotional well-being.
• Avoid redoing chores for them—let kids feel their contributions are valuable.
• Key Quote:

  “Kids who grow up having chores actually grow up happier people … and have a much lower risk of being entitled.” – Dr. Aliza ([12:15])

5. Responding to Rudeness Appropriately

[18:02 - 19:57]

• It’s developmentally appropriate for teens to backtalk or roll their eyes, but not okay to leave it unchecked.
• Stay calm, don’t take it personally, and ask for a respectful “redo.”
• For young kids—make it playful, like acting out polite requests as different characters.
• Key Quote:

  “They can’t ask for what they want … without using a respectful tone. Otherwise, why in the world would they stop?” ([20:14])

6. Set Expectations for Respect in Shared Spaces

[22:00 - 22:54]

• Teach kids to say thank you and clean up after themselves when receiving rides or being at others' homes.
• These habits of appreciation and respect travel beyond the family.

7. Make Gift Giving Exciting and Thoughtful

[22:54 - 25:18]

• Get children involved in choosing, buying (with allowance), and wrapping gifts for family and friends.
• Builds empathy by thinking of others’ wants and joy in giving, not just receiving.
• Key Quote:

  “Have them wrap. Don’t just like, wrap all the presents and sign their names to it. Enlist them in the process because then it’s so much more fun for them to see the joy they’ve brought someone else.” ([23:55])

8. Notice & Reflect on Acts of Kindness

[29:46 - 30:35]

• Borrowed from Adam Grant: Ask each day, “What’s something kind you did?” and “What’s something kind someone else did for you?”
• Increases awareness and appreciation of others’ thoughtfulness and encourages kids to pay it forward.

9. Cultivate Thank-You Note Writing

[30:35 - 34:18]

• Thank-you notes (even just dictated or drawn by toddlers) instill the habit of recognizing and expressing appreciation.
• Not just for gifts—include notes for everyday helpers like delivery people.
• Lead by example and involve children in acts of appreciation.
• Key Quote:

  “There is an entitlement in not thanking and not truly appreciating.” ([31:05]) “It didn’t just appear, the package didn’t just appear … There is someone that took their time and made your day better. So let’s appreciate them.” ([33:50])

10. Cultivate Empathy & Perspective-Taking

[34:19 - 36:45]

• Discuss characters’ feelings when reading; ask about others’ emotions during daily life.
• Perspective-taking helps children recognize their privilege and makes entitlement far less likely.
• Key Quote:

  "You can't really be entitled acting if you have the capacity to understand the experience of others." ([34:22])

BONUS TIP: Practice Delayed Gratification

[36:45 - 38:40]

• In our instant-gratification world, intentionally help kids wait for things (gifts, answers, meals, etc.).
• Emphasize that their desires aren't always prioritized, reinforcing that they are part of a system, not its center.
• Key Quote:

  “Make sure every day, in the smallest ways, you help your kids experience delayed gratification... They need to know not everything happens exactly when they want it on their timeline.” ([37:30])

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “One of the things that distinguishes privilege and entitlement is gratitude.” ([02:00])
• “Kids who grow up having chores actually grow up happier people.” ([12:15])
• “Writing thank you notes is a habit to build starting as young as toddlerhood.” ([30:55])
• “You can’t force a kid to feel grateful and you can’t force a kid to feel empathy… You can teach them the skills and model it in your own behavior.” ([36:20])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:00] — Gratitude Hunt & "Rose, Bud, Thorn"
• [03:36] — Centering Children & Personal Example
• [10:07] — Missing Games & Events on Purpose
• [11:16] — Chores & Building Contribution
• [18:02] — Responding to Rudeness
• [22:00] — Manners & Shared Spaces
• [22:54] — Joy of Gift Giving
• [29:46] — Noticing Kindness
• [30:35] — Thank You Notes
• [34:19] — Empathy & Perspective-Taking
• [36:45] — Delayed Gratification

Tone & Style

Warm, supportive, and practical, with an academic foundation. Dr. Aliza combines science, real-life anecdotes, and actionable strategies, delivered in an approachable, nonjudgmental way.

In Summary

Dr. Aliza’s actionable, science-backed strategies offer realistic, everyday methods for decreasing entitlement while increasing gratitude in children. Her tips emphasize modeling, daily small practices, and fostering empathy through experiences rather than forced feelings. The episode is packed with practical ideas that can be woven into daily life, helping parents raise grounded, appreciative, and “good humans.”