← Raising Good Humans
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hey everyone. Welcome back to Raising Good humans podcast. I'm Dr. Eliza Pressman. Today I'm doing a solo episode. I'm not even sure what to call it. Parenting through the Storm. Staying grounded during this unsteady time. I don't want to make a pithy, like, ridiculous title, but what I'm hearing in my DMs, in my parent groups, in my conversations with friends, my conversations with my kids is how are we parenting when the world feels like this? And how can we support our kids to be aware of what's going on in the world and helpers in the world, but also acknowledge that we still forge on? I also want to be honest with you from the jump, I'm very disturbed by what's happening in Minnesota. I want to be here for everybody on any political spectrum. And also I really like don't understand what in the world is going on. So I'm not talking about politics in this episode. I. I'm not telling you what to think. I can't do that. I just also don't want to avoid the conversation because it's so relevant to our kids. They are feeling it, they're seeing the news. And I just think that I have to address it. What I'm not addressing is the choices that you're making in terms of how you're showing up in your communities. That, I think is an individual choice. I'm going to talk about the science, what we actually know about how stress affects our kids when it's not actually in their lived experience of being under attack or threatened, but they're watching other people, how our emotional states shape their emotional states and what we can do, practically speaking, to raise compassionate, grounded, resilient human beings during a time that feels utterly unstable. So if you're feeling activated or if you're struggling with how to be business as usual and really give our kids the best of us while also doom scrolling at midnight and snapping at people in the morning. I I'm going to try to be here for you while, you know, staying in the lane of raising good humans, but I think this is pretty much in the lane. What this podcast episode is not going to address is the enormous psychological damage that separating kids from their parents causes. That putting kids in chronic stress situations and putting them in harm's way and their parents such that they don't get a break from that cortisol spiking. And we know that chronic stress is in children leads to lifelong poor health outcomes. So when kids are experiencing these horrible stressors, their immune systems are compromised for life. So we see this decades later. And I'm not addressing that. I'm not addressing the inhumanity of it because that's not what this episode is about. But as a psychologist and as a developmental psychologist, that's why this isn't a political conversation to me. I am simply not. It just goes without saying that anything that compromises children's long term and short term well being is problematic to me. But this is about not kids who are in chronic stress, not parents who are experiencing chronic stress. This, this is about those of you who are here listening in this community to help you parent in the context of a really bonkers political climate, frankly, and news cycle. I'm already nervous about posting this episode because it just feels like, you know, in this world where people get offended by so much. I don't want to say the wrong thing, but I also feel pretty confident that I have this beautiful community and you are awesome. And I, I've, I've never had a problem. Like, I've had this podcast since 2019. We've seen the world go into, I mean, the pandemic happened, so many crazy things have happened and I've not one time in with you guys had any issues. Like, it's kind of beautiful and remarkable. But for whatever reason, the people who are attracted to coming onto this podcast have this running theme of deeply just compassionate loveliness. So when I say the wrong thing, people don't yell at me. Maybe I've gotten a DM here and there where somebody says, hey, I wish you had said this in a different way. And I learned from it. But I love you guys because I feel like I can just sit here and say what I think and hopefully I'm going to be very helpful. And if not, you know my feeling. Shut it off. Shut it out if it's not helpful to you. So let's first name what's happening. This is the first part of our conversation, which is before we talk about what to do, I want to say one of the things that I've learned in two decades of working with families and the healthcare providers that care for them is that we cannot address what we won't acknowledge. And right now, a lot of us are living in a state of chronic low grade stress. Stress. Some of us are living in acute high grade stress. In which case you should not be listening to this podcast or on Instagram or any of that because you have more immediate needs to meet. That's. So this is not addressing People in acute threat. And if your temperament is more sensitive and attuned, you're going to be feeling the feelings of others more intensely. And so the news is going to hit you harder. The world is going to feel more unbearable to you than it is for the folks here who have more of the pioneer plant. You know, those plants that can grow right after a fire, the dandelions of the bunch. We need you too, because you can stay steady during this really uncertain time, but how you navigate communicating with your kids and all of those things is really important. And so because the news cycle is relentless, I can't even. This week feels incredibly horrible. But like last week felt pretty bad and like last year felt pretty bad. So there's just. It's relentless. And the social media algorithms are pretty much designed to keep us activated and anxious. And I have torn because I want everyone to be aware of what's going on. There's something really important about being able to see what's happening, but it also keeps us scrolling and I'm not sure it's super productive at a certain point. And then on top of it, real stuff is happening, real policies affecting real communities, real fear, real uncertainty about the future. But we are still raising our kids and we have to live our lives and it's complicated. So when adults are stressed, children feel it, even when we think we're hiding it well, and even when we never say a word about what's worrying us. So if you are feeling the weight of what's going on in the world and you are more of a sensitive temperament, you, you have to know that this is going to be really important to you. I mean, for you to pay attention to. There's an incredible body of research on CO regulation. We've talked about it so many times, but essentially it, it shows us our children's nervous systems are attuned to ours. And so if we're dysregulated when our stress response is activated, we're in that fight, flight or freeze mode. When our hearts are racing and our thoughts are spinning and we're obsessively just running through all of the problems with what's happening. Our kids are picking up on that. And it's not because they're eavesdropping on our conversations. It's their bodies are super connected to ours. They're borrowing our nervous system through our tone of voice, through our facial expressions, through our body language, and even just like how we're breathing. So in this parent child relationship, which is the one we're really focusing on right now, our kids are essentially downloading our emotional operating system, and they are learning what okay feels like by just being near us. So if you are feeling like you cannot take it, but you're not actually under threat, like you're under existential threat, perhaps you're questioning, like, how we're supposed to stay silent and calm at a time when it feels incredibly terrible for so many people. I want to recommend a middle path, which is that if you're not in acute threat, you actually have a real job to do, which is to stay grounded, pay attention, figure out where you can be helpful. So we need your nervous system to be in check because there are people who are really under threat and they are supposed to be in fight, flight, or freeze mode. So we need to teach our children that the world really isn't an unsafe place. And I know that that feels impossible right now. If they do feel that the world is unsafe, they're not going to be able to have their brains open and available for learning and growing. So keep that in mind because I think so many people are feeling like. But we. This is horrific. And we need to be very angry and afraid. And I understand that. And I also understand that this isn't a one day thing. This is, you know, you're parenting every day, bad stuff is happening every day. Both of those things need to exist together. And I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty or. Or more stressful. I say it because I want you to feel empowered, because it means that one of the most important things we can do for our kids in a hideous climate, in uncertain times, and there's research on this in much worse times than this, is to work on our regulations so that we can actually be there for them, so that they. And we can be there for other people so that we can make the world a better place. If we are stuck in a chronic state of stress where we're actually not personally under attack, we're not going to be able to help anybody else, and people need us to help them. So when it feels like taking a deep breath is a luxury, I just. I'm going to say something that might sound offensive, but, like, we have that luxury if we're sitting here listening to the podcast and thinking about how we're raising our kids. So take a breath, because this is. This is where. Where we can actually serve the world and serve our kids is by saying, okay, yes, things are really getting bad. And also, I am safe right in this moment, and so I can be there for other people. And now for a quick break. I definitely don't need to tell you how great skims is because who doesn't love skims? But I'm so lucky that they are my partners because they are easy to speak authentically about. I'm already I was a customer long before they were a partner. I've been wearing them since skims came out. Whenever it came out. I don't even remember the world before skims. But they happen to have the Fits Everybody collection that basically is just so comfortable shows Nothing. Go to skims.com and place your order and let them know that I sent you. 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So this is this other detail that I want to address, and I'm nervous to say any of this because it's so fraught. And I don't, you know, like, I don't want to alienate anyone. And I also don't want to be Pollyanna ish or hysterical, even though I can see a world where both of those responses are totally natural. But I. I can't skip over this because I think it would be dishonest when I'm talking about taking a breath and regulating your nervous system and finding your calm so that you can parent. I know that it sounds ridiculous, because if you just. If I just took a pause and then went on to look at the news, I would spin out a little bit. I have the luxury of knowing that I am not under attack. And yes, you could say that I am an American citizen and American citizens are, you know, suffering right now, but that's not going to. That's. I have the luxury of getting myself regulated. There are some people who do not. Again, those are not the people listening to this podcast, probably. If you are, this is not an episode I want you to take your time with. There are communities that are being targeted. There are families who are afraid to send their kids to school. They're afraid to go to their place of worship. They're afraid to exist in public spaces. There are people whose immigration status is uncertain. Those are not people listening to a parenting podcast right now. They're in survival mode. And survival mode is not a choice. It's a biological response to real danger. So I just want to be clear. I'm talking about if, on this episode, if you are in crisis, if your family's in immediate danger. This is not an episode I want you to take time with. You need safety, you need community, you need connection. You need concrete resources. And I want you to find those. And that is not what this is. So if you're someone who has the bandwidth to listen to this episode and think about, how am I raising my kids in this climate, am I talking about any of this? Is this bothering me at all? If it's not, do I need to say anything? Because it's a conversation that's happening. If it is, how can I manage to deal with myself and my kids? If you have that luxury of worrying about how to talk about it with your kids rather than worrying about whether you're going to be separated from them, this is the conversation for you, that is a privilege and it comes with, in my view, responsibility. Not responsibility to feel guilty. That is not helpful in this particular case. It's a responsibility to use your capacity. I don't want you to squander your emotional resources on doom scrolling and panicking. Because to regulate is. Is both a skill and a luxury. And it's not so you can check out, but so that you can stay checked in, so that you can be useful when you're called upon. So that you can raise kids who will be part of making the world a better place. And if you don't individually feel like you're going to get involved in helping your community get involved in raising your kid to be a compassionate, empathetic, good human. So that is your contribution to society. Like that is a noble cause because that is going to make our world a better place. So I. Whatever you do, this is what I want the focus of this conversation to be on. I do believe how we parent in this moment matters. Kids we are raising right now are going to inherit this world. And if we want them to be the kind of people who show up for their neighbors, who stand up against injustice, who have resilience and compassion to keep going when things are hard again, regardless of what political beliefs they have, these are just, I'm just talking about human to human, then we have to model it and we have to teach it. We have to teach our values. And everyone is going to have probably relatively similar big values because we're all kind of in this community on Raising Good Humans podcast. But you know, even being able to label what your values are and figure out what you believe is going to be really important and helping your kids make sense of what they believe versus what you believe, because you might not be on the same page. Okay, so this is not about pretending everything is fine. As I'm like, get your act together, regulate your nervous system. But it really is about staying in the game so you can actually do something meaningful, whether it's raising good humans or going and doing something active in your community. Parenting is really hard all the time. So the ultimate exercise is really understanding the weight of what's happening in the world in your day to day, to you personally, being honest about how you feel, how scary it is, or how not scary it is for you. Because all of us, again, are different temperaments and having different histories and reactions to things. But either way, you're showing up anyway for your kids. Not perfectly, but consistently. So what do kids actually need from us apart from knowing that we're functioning that even when the world is an ugly place, there's consistency, stability in us, which is hugely important. That's what our kids need during this stressful time. And information isn't the most important thing they need an explanation. And perfect words are not the most important thing they need. Even for adolescents and certainly for younger kids, the first thing kids need is a felt sense of safety. No matter what. No matter what, they need a felt sense of safety. And there's a difference between actual safety and felt safety, because they're not always the same thing. There are situations where children are genuinely unsafe, and in those situations we need to actually create actual safety. But for many of the families listening to this, the stress your kids are picking up on isn't about a direct threat to them. It's about the ambient anxiety in your home, the tension they sense in your body, the worry in your voice, the hard conversations at school if they're older, the questions they have about their friends or the larger community. Belt safety is about their nervous system. Does their body feel calm? Do they have a sense that the adults around them can handle what's happening no matter what? Do they have a place to land? And this is the powerful thing, is that we are in that place, our regulated presence, in this climate and in any climate, no matter what's happening, this could be that you're going through your own personal crisis that has nothing to do with what's going on in the country. It has to do with, you know, something going on in your personal life. Our regulated presence is the single most powerful tool we have for helping our kids feel safe. So it's, it's worth putting time and effort into. And from a practical standpoint, it means that before we have any big conversations about hard things, we're checking in with ourselves, we're taking a breath, we're noticing what's happening to our bodies, we're noticing what's happening inside our bodies. We're. We're asking ourselves, how do I feel about this? Am I regulated enough to talk to anybody else, or am I just going to accidentally transmit my panic? And again, I can hear some people saying, this is a time to panic trend. Go ahead and transmit it. But I just want to argue that if you are a person who is not under direct attack, your open and available, unflooded, regulated brain is a gift to the world because you can actually do something with that brain. If the answer is I'm just not ready, I'm too upset, my particular system is more sensitive and I just need more tools, that's fine. Then you can say, I want to talk to you about this. I have to take a few minutes to figure out what to talk about, how I'm feeling, and then I'm going to get back to you. And you can model regulation very actively. The second thing kids need is regardless of how heavy the world is, is connection. When the world feels scary, kids need to know that their relationship with you is solid. No matter how upset you are, no matter how freaky anything is, no matter how disturbing anything is, they need quality time to know that you're okay and that they've got you. So that's when you need to put down your phone. You're not saving the world by doom scrolling. You're not saving the world by posting something on Instagram and yelling at people who are not actually with you. Put down your phone and look at your kids and let like put everything else aside and reconnect with them. The younger they are, the more you have to do this. In some ways, as I say this, I also think you're modeling for your teenage kids. We set aside time to consume information so that we are people who are informed, but we don't. You know, we're not working at CNN or Fox News or ABC or I'm just trying to say something that feels like I'm hitting all the places. But we don't need 24 hour news cycle and we need to model that for them. We need to be informed. We need to choose really solid resources and get information that we need and that's it. But we also need to put it aside because your job is to be a parent and that relationship's really important. So just paying attention to when your child needs to know that you're okay and needs some time with you. And keep in mind, no matter how heavy the world gets, sometimes kids are going to be curious. Some kids can't handle it, some kids aren't ready for it. And I've heard many people say, if this child can go through this horror, then my child can hear about it. And I actually think that's not super accurate because that just means more children are horrified. Instead, you're thinking about the long game of raising a compassionate, empathetic, thoughtful kid who can function and regulate. So freaking them out is not actually doing anybody any favors. Connection's so protective, it, it buffers the impact of even the most chronic stress. So when kids feel securely attached, their brains respond to stress differently. They have better outcomes across the board. And now for a quick break. Experian can take the pain out of canceling subscriptions by handling it for you. Just keep the ones you want and put money back in your pocket. Over 200 subscriptions are cancelable or negotiable. Also, you could save money by letting Experian negotiate your best rate and they'll keep an eye out for new deals and savings opportunities and will negotiate directly with your provider on your behalf. And the best part is that you keep 100% of your savings. 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When you use the code RGH at OneSkin Co slash RGH, that's up to 15% off with the code RGH. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them so you can support the show and just tell them that they sent you. So if you have a particularly sensitive kid, we've talked about orchid kids, you have to double down on that. And the thing that I also don't want to suggest is that you not be honest. You just need to be developmentally appropriately honest. So that's where I think a lot of parents get stuck in oversharing or under sharing. So this is the next part of what I'm talking about right now is talking to kids about hard things. What do you even say? How do you explain what's happening without scaring kids? And the first thing that I'm going to remind you is listen before you talk. Start by asking what your child already has heard. Have you heard anything at school about what's going on in the news or. I noticed you seemed a little worried. Is there anything on your mind? Kids are often very aware of a lot more than we think. And they hear things on the bus or on the playground or from older siblings or they're on social media. Whatever it is, it might have been distorted or scary or confusing or not distorted, but incredibly scary or confusing. I mean, the videos this week were, were devastating. No child should be looking at that. So before you launch into an explanation, find out what you're working with. And then once you understand what they know, you can fill in the gaps, but just fill in the gaps that need filling. You know, it's quite a bit different depending on their age. So for young kids like preschool and early elementary, keep it as simple as possible. They don't need to know the details. Even if you're trying to raise a super activist, they need reassurance. You might say something like, sometimes grownups disagree about how to make decisions for our country. That can feel really confusing. Our job is to take care of you and you are safe, and we can also help other people. Let's think about who we can help today. For elementary school and more. Like older elementary school kids, you can add more context. After you've asked them what they've heard, you can say, you know, if they haven't heard anything, you could say, you know, you might start hearing about Minnesota because there's a lot going on in Minnesota and it's really scary because this has caused a lot of people to protest peacefully. There have been two murders. Two people were killed because they were peacefully protesting. Depending on the details and your child's temperament, you can say some of it is about grownups disagreeing about important things like immigration and how to keep people safe and how to be fair to everyone. And if you ever hear something that worries you, you can always come talk to me about it. For tweens and teens, you can have more nuanced conversations. They're likely already forming their own opinions. And actually, if anything, your job is to shift from being the narrator to being the thinking partner and listener, really letting your tweens and teens know that you're curious what they think, you're curious what their friends are saying and validating that this is. There's a lot of complexity and you might even say, I'm trying to figure out how I feel about some of this. I'm wondering what's making sense to you and what feels confusing. I know, for me, I feel completely clear minded that a human being, a citizen of this country, should not be killed for peacefully protesting. It should not be unsafe. But that's, you know, something that I want to ask you about. I want to know what your friends are saying. I'm curious how you're making sense of this. You can also talk about the historical context. Have you talked at school about the precedent for this, why this is such a big deal, why this is so tragic beyond losing a human life. But what this means for our nation. Ask them what they think they are wise and they're coming to terms with their own values and how they're understanding things and how they're making sense of things. A few important principles for all ages. One is not to lie, but not to overshare. Because kids know when we're being straight with them and dishonesty erodes trust. But they really don't need every detail until they're older. So again, match their explanation to their developmental stage and their temperament and specific questions and you do not have to volunteer information they haven't asked for when they're younger. But as they get older, if they haven't heard about what's going on, you might say, hey, I wonder if you are interested in what's happening. I think it's really important for you to understand what's going on. Then another important principle, no matter the age, is to validate your kids feelings, whatever they are. Some kids are going to be scared, some are going to be angry, some are going to be outraged, some are going to seem unbothered. Which doesn't mean they're not processing it, just might mean they're doing it differently. Or they're really just thinking about their soccer game and that's where they're at. And all of these responses are okay. Our job is to create a space for them to feel what they feel, not to talk them out of what they feel. Unless it's vicious, in which case that's, that's on you to decide what values you want to impart. You might say something like, it makes sense that you're feeling worried. This is a lot. Or it's okay to feel mad about this. I feel mad too. The next thing that is a principle for all ages is to emphasize what's being done to help. When we are outraged, we sometimes forget to talk about all the people that are trying to do better. As Fred Rogers famously said, look for the helpers. And that advice is still gold to this day. When you talk about hard things. Almost every time I talk about hard things, I want to talk about the people working to make things better. Because when you do that, it gives a sense of agency and hope, which is what kids need to even feel like they should bother doing anything or engaging in the world. And next is, I do want you to reassure your kids, not dismiss that this is a big deal, not dismiss anything. But there is a difference between saying you have nothing to worry about, which might not be true. And can feel dismissive and saying, I understand why you're worried. I'm worried too. And also I want you to know that I do everything I can to keep our family safe. There are a lot of people working on these problems and I am not losing any hope. I have all the hope in the world. The first version of this of saying you have nothing to worry about shuts down the conversation. The second really honors their concern, offers comfort, but it's not making promises you can't keep to older kids and teenagers. And lastly, circle back. One conversation is rarely enough. You want to check in periodically. You could have one conversation, it might be two minutes, it might be 20 minutes. There might be a lot of questions, there might be nothing. And then later on another day, you can say, you know that stuff we talked about. In this case I'm particularly focused on Minnesota, but this is true anytime. I was just wondering if you'd been thinking about it at all. That that way you can let your kids know that the door is always open. But I also, again, some of them are not going to want to talk about it. Some of them are not thinking about it. The key is are available. You are available because you've gotten your own self regulated enough to be available to them. And if you want to help the larger community to be available to the larger community. Now this is a quick part I do want to address which is just managing our news consumption. We need to manage our news consumption because one of the biggest challenges for parents right now is figuring out our relationship to the news cycle and social media. Here's what I see happening. We're doom scrolling, we're staring at the news. We're reading articles over and over again. We're refreshing. We're watching everything. We're watching cable news while we're making dinner. We're checking Twitter X or whatever. It's not even Twitter anymore, whatever you're calling it. We're sitting in bed and looking at things. We're wondering why we can't sleep. We're snapping at people. We're. We're angry at people for not caring enough. We're angry at people for caring too much. I get it when things feel out of control. Consuming information can feel like we're doing something. And we're staying informed and we're staying vigilant and we're staying engaged citizens. But the truth is, at a certain point, more information is not helping anyone. It's just dysregulating us further. And then we are not effective as parents. We are not effective as partners. We are not at all effective as citizens. So my reframe is to be informed. But remember that being informed is important. Being over informed and under resourced serves absolutely no one. The goal is not to bury your head in the sand. It's to consume the news in a way that allows you to stay engaged without sacrificing your mental health and your capacity to show up for your family. Okay, so practically speaking, very simple. I mean simple to say, not simple to do. One, set boundaries around news consumption. Decide how much you're going to check and that's it. And make news free zones in your house. Like, absolutely. Not in the dinner table, in the bedroom, in places where you're supposed to have safety and connection. Two, notice how your body feels when you consume the news. And if you start to feel your heart racing and your jaw clenching and your breath gets shallow, not you need to take it seriously, you need to take a break because you're having a stress response and you are actually safe. So you're responding on behalf of others or, you know, because this is. The news is set up to get you as engaged as possible. But do not confuse that with civic engagement. It is not in any way helping anyone be intentional about what you consume in front of your kids. Having the news on all the time in the background while they're playing, for example, might seem like harmless, or you're showing them how to be intellectually curious citizens. They're absorbing too much and it's not appropriate. And lastly, counterbalance this consumption of terrible news with good news. For every hard thing you take in, just find something restorative. I know it's hard. I know it seems crazy because it's like, well, the world is shitty, so why am I gonna look at stupid memes on puppies and beavers and otters, but please do. Because we're humans. And in the darkest of times, I mean, the darkest of times, people going through the absolute worst, humanity still like, tries to find joy. So if you have the luxury of being able to just turn the news off and it's, it's over, you too can find joy. You don't need to feel shame about it. This is the whole reason we have art and the whole reason humans are so extraordinary. So find it. It keeps you able to sustain a functioning life where you can actually be of service. It's not a bad thing. Okay, so if you have time to set these boundaries, do it, do that for you so that you don't waste your capacity and outrage on something that can't go anywhere and can't help anyone and actually is a disservice. See, I too need to take a deep breath while talking about this stuff. Okay, so the other thing that I want to talk about and I, I don't think we have so much time to talk about it because you're probably getting tired of hearing me on my monologue. But I will continue this next week. But I just want to remind you there's an episode on Raising Compassionate Kids. My book and my substack have stuff on raising compassionate kids because we've got to raise compassionate kids. That's like the best thing that we can offer. So my very short and dirty tips are model it, talk about your values explicitly, broaden your children's world, practice perspective taking and give them opportunities to help. And the last part of that is address bullying and bystander behavior directly. There's. I have many articles on this on substack. We don't have time to get into it today, but bullying and bystander behavior is what your family values needs to be stated explicitly and guarded because it's really, really impactful and we see what happens when people don't address it. And also, just from a practical standpoint, I know again, this is a luxury if you're still listening, but you do need to take care of yourself because if your kids see a depleted, burnt out, just, you know, devastated parent running on fumes, you're not going to be, you're just not going to be able to do right by anyone. So you've got to get your sleep and your movement and your social connections and your time in nature and the things that bring you joy and professional support if you need it. And, and again, I recognize that this is a luxury that I have, but my sneaking suspicion is if you're taking the time to listen to a podcast or consume news in a 24 hour cycle, that you too have that luxury. So take it, because you can really do the world proud when you're functioning. And also, everybody deserves to have capacity. And it happens that I have capacity and I want you to have capacity because there are times when we don't. There are times when we're going through too much and we're going to count on other people who have more capacity at those times. But right now you have capacity. So I know the world is hard right now. It's real. It's okay to feel the weight of that. I hope you feel the weight of that because otherwise you do need to wake up a little bit. But right now, your regulation and your presence and your values matter to your kids. And we are raising those kids for another generation that can do better than this one. So as annoying and woo woo as it sounds, take that breath, stay connected to your kids and listen more than you talk. And rather than having naive optimism, please try to stay hopeful. Like if there is no hope, if you express and articulate a hopelessness where you've just. You've just given up, that is a message our kids are going to get. And when I think about in the. In this long history of humanity, in our darkest hours, people who were experiencing so much worse, they remained hopeful. And again, with the luxury of being able to remain hopeful. Let's. Let's do that because we really need to. Otherwise, if you're not hopeful, you don't have the motivation to be helpful. That is what I have for you today. Thank you for listening. I know this is hard work. I know that this is a hard time. I want our kids to have access to our capacity so that they have capacity so that we can raise good humans. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.