Today we have Natalie. She is 55 years old from Palmdale, CA and took her last drink on June 4th, 2023.

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[02:28] Thoughts from Paul:

This week’s intro is about acceptance. We may wish we were a little bit taller, we may wish we were a baller, and we may wish that alcohol wasn’t marketed as being good for us when it’s a class one carcinogen. We may also wish that we could drink normally, but many of us cannot.

The thing about acceptance is that it is not about giving up, it’s about waking up to the fact that that’s just the way it is. When we finally stop wishing against reality and stop bleeding energy into a fantasy world of how things should be then we can start working with what actually is.

Acceptance is not about admitting defeat or giving up, it is acknowledging the truth which doesn’t care about your feelings, but it will set you free.

When you accept that alcohol isn’t your friend and that you can’t drink normally, that’s not rock bottom, that’s solid ground and something real to stand on. Life isn’t waiting for you to figure out how to drink responsibly. It’s waiting for you to square your shoulders and start accepting that you’re exactly where you are right now.

[07:36] Paul introduces Natalie:

Natalie is 55 years old and lives in Palmdale, CA. She says her most important job is being a mom to her autistic 15-year-old son. She enjoys spending time and going on adventures with him. Recently she has started volunteer work at a food bank and being of service in AA.

Natalie didn’t enjoy alcohol when she first tried it and says that she was mostly a social drinker for many years. In her mid-30’s, she sought help with her sleep issues. She was prescribed Ambien and really liked the idea that she could take something and check out quickly. Over time it progressed to where she was drinking and taking the drug. Natalie began to rely on Ambien more and more as she travelled frequently for work.

Life got very stressful for Natalie after her son turned two and they realized he didn’t have speech. That began a year of doctors, assessments and therapy and her reliance increased. Natalie would doctor shop to try and get more of the drug and resorted to her ordering it online and getting mass quantities in order to feed her habit.

Natalie started attending NA and after she had about 60 days, she received the diagnosis that her son was autistic.

When the COVID lockdown happened, she realized that she would have a hard time getting Ambien and she says that she changed from being an addict to an alcoholic. Natalie quickly became a daily drinker, often starting in the mornings. After her son was able to return to school, Natalie began a routine of dropping him off and then getting and drinking two bottles of wine before passing out until it was time to pick him up.

Moderation was something Natalie struggled with. Her husband we getting increasingly upset with her and she would make attempts for a few days to cut back. Her husband, who is a normal drinker, ended up quitting to try and help her make the decision to quit as well.

After a rock bottom trip in Las Vegas, Natalie decided it was time to quit. She found an AA meeting that she could attend right after dropping her son off at school. Natalie started attending daily and got a sponsor. She feels her relationships with family and friends has improved and even just day to day interactions with strangers are better.

Natalie says “when you leave the rooms of AA, there are people that you will never meet and that you do not know that will be better off for you having been in a meeting that morning. That their day and their life is actually better because you took care of yourself in that way.”

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22. Let’s lighten up and not take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys.

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