Today we have Thea. She is 55 years old from Madison, WI and took her last drink on February 10th, 2019

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We have just a couple of cabin spots left for our upcoming retreat in Bozeman, Montana. This retreat is from August 6th through 10th.

Coming in January 2026, our AF Ukelele Course. Registration for that opens in December.

Also coming next year in October 2026, we will have an in-person ukelele retreat where we’re having Spanish instruction in the afternoons. This will be in Costa Rica. More information will be coming soon about that event.

[02:45] Thoughts from Paul:

On the journey into an alcohol-free life, it almost always consists of a chapter where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. But something takes place that we aren’t aware of and that’s that alcohol has become uncontrollable – and we haven’t realized it yet.

You might be asking yourself if your drinking has reached that point and may have searched for a sobriety podcast because there were aspects of your drinking that you were unable to control. The longer you try to control the uncontrollable, the less sanity you are left with.

Paul wants you to ask yourself if you are trying to control the uncontrollable thing. He and many of us have learned that we cannot control our drinking, but the opportunities are endless in what we CAN do without alcohol in our lives, the same can be true for you.

[07:06] Paul introduces Thea:

Thea is 55 years old, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but now lives in Madison with her husband of almost 30 years, and they have three grown boys. Thea works in education. She loves to cook, bake, read, and attend sporting events.

Thea says she drank a little in high school, but it wasn’t out of control. After going to college where the culture involved binge drinking, Thea drank more. Being someone that didn’t suffer from hangovers, she never looked at her drinking as a problem.

Thea met her husband after college when they married and had three kids. She says she would binge drink occasionally, but not enough to create red flags and her husband can take it or leave it. Thea says she didn’t drink during her pregnancies or drink every night, but as her kids got older and needed her less, she fell into the habit of drinking more.

Thea would drink socially but preferred to drink covertly at home where she could have as much as she wanted. Over time she began to feel like she needed the alcohol to function and was becoming physically addicted to it.

A few years later, some family members had an intervention with Thea. The message she took away was that she needed to hide her drinking better in the future. The following summer, Thea’s sister-in-law called her out on her drinking again, and they went to the ER. It was recommended that she go to a detox center which Thea refused to do. She opted to detox on her own, which is not recommended. After doing that, she enrolled in an IOP but was just going through the motions to try and become a normal drinker again – she had no intention of quitting.

Thea feels she was getting nudges from God to address the issue. It wasn’t until February 10th, 2019, that the message finally got through. Thea was very sick and throwing up blood. She was in and out of the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her failing liver. Thea feels that something finally clicked, and she has not wanted to have a drink since that first day when she went to the hospital.

After two years sober, Thea started listening to podcasts and reading quit lit. She eventually found her way back to AA and it feels like home this time. Thea is very open about her recovery with her family and is grateful they never gave up on her.

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RE 544: Trying to Control an Uncontrollable Thing