Today we have Jack. He is 45 years old and from Los Angeles, CA. He took his last drink of alcohol on December 31st, 2024.

This episode is brought to you by:

Café RE – THE social app for sober people.

[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:

Last week Paul talked about the intentional phase of sobriety: choosing what you want to explore next and how you are going to fill the void left by alcohol.

Looking at Lewis and Clark, we know that no expedition goes according to plan. So this week we will talk about setbacks because they're part of life. Maybe it's relapse (or Field Research as we refer to it in RE). Maybe it's an injury that sidelines your new running routine or an illness that drains your energy for weeks. Or it may just be life being life.

The thing about setbacks – they don't erase your progress; they're just part of the terrain. If you drink again, you have not gone back to zero. You've gathered data. You know more now than you did before – about triggers, patterns, what works and what doesn't.

The goal here is not perfection, it's persistence. If you are facing a setback – big or small – ask yourself: what's the adjusted route? Not "should I give up?" but "how do I keep moving forward from here?"

[7:46] Paul introduces Jack:

Jack grew up in New Jersey but now lives in LA. He is a runner and currently training for a marathon. He loves movies and video games, and he is currently taking a fragrance development course and plans to build his own brand and launch his own fragrance in the future.

Growing up, Jack was always sensitive and shy kid. His parents drank and alcohol was just a regular part of life with wine at dinner and craft beer always around.

As a teenager, Jack drank to fit in at parties. Jack is gay and used alcohol to cancel out his anxiety and the awkwardness he felt socially. He says he didn't drink all the time and there were no real consequences, just teenage experimentation,

Jack drank on the weekends through college and enjoyed going out to gay clubs. After transferring from Savannah back to NYC, he finished school and got a job as a graphic designer. Drinking became a daily activity on his commutes and on weekends. Jack also began moonlighting as a DJ hosting parties in Manhattan and Brooklyn, something he always dreamed of doing when he was a teenager. This opened up a new world of nightlife for Jack.

Jack would drink all night while DJ'ing and go to work a few hours later. He had his first panic attack at work and while he knew that it was the hangover that triggered it but found that alcohol gave him instant relief. Blackouts began to happen regularly, and it dawned on Jack that he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stop drinking.

Jack became sober-curious in 2016. He started reading books and taking time off from drinking. Soon after this started his partner had an opportunity to go to grad school in Boston and Jack felt like this could be a clean slate.

After a few years alcohol-free, Jack felt like he could handle alcohol again. He planned to drink on his birthday. This opened the door for regression and within 6 months, the pandemic found Jack drinking just like he was before.

Jack's anxiety and panic attacks caused by his alcohol abuse were getting the best of him. After a rough weekend in Vegas, he drank through that holiday and knew that he couldn't continue to drink. He had heard about RE's Dry January course and burned the ships with his partner.

Jack said the course was exactly what he needed at the time and he knew within the first week that this is how he wants to live his life. He felt the pink cloud and euphoria from making the daily decision to be sober. He is an active member in Café RE, enjoys running, hiking, meditation and finding connections with community. Jack says he has gone from Passive Sobriety to Active Recovery.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down

You got to take the stairs back up

We can do this.

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