← Redwood Bureau
Redwood Bureau
"GRANFALOON" - Redwood Bureau Phenomenon #7500
01:10:44
If it can’t reach you now, it will find a way.
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- [00:00]
Agent Conroy
Dear old work platform. It's not you, it's us. Actually, it is you. Endless onboarding, constant IT bottlenecks.
- [00:08]
Former Agent
We've had enough. We need a platform that just gets us.
- [00:11]
Agent Conroy
And to be honest, we've met someone new. They're called Monday.com and it was love at first onboarding.
- [00:17]
Former Agent
Their beautiful dashboards, their customizable workflows got us floating on a digital cloud.
- [00:23]
Agent Conroy
9 so no hard feelings, but we're moving on.
- [00:26]
Former Agent
Monday.com the first work platform you'll love to use.
- [00:32]
Sponsor Voice
This episode is sponsored by Shopify. When you think about businesses that have become phenomena in their own right, like Allo or Allbirds or Skims, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret, possibly classified is actually the businesses behind the business. Making, selling and for shoppers, buying Simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%. Meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout ericast store uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comredwood all lowercase go to shopify.comredwood to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comredwood.
- [01:57]
Former Agent
Beware the Redwood Bureau. A secret organization which captures and researches creatures and objects that defy explanation. Their reckless procedures have led to countless innocent lives lost.
- [02:10]
Agent Conroy
I am Agent Conroy.
- [02:12]
Former Agent
I worked for the Redwood Bureau, but I have escaped them to leak their reports to the unsuspecting public. You have the right to know. In the darkest corridors of the Redwood Bureau, hidden behind layers of secrecy and the illusion of control, there exist truths far more disturbing than any fiction could convey. My name is Conroy, a former agent of the Redwood Bureau, forced into hiding for daring to reveal the horrors this organization has inflicted on the public in its own interests. I once believed the Redwood Bureau stood as humanity's shield against threats we could not comprehend. Anomalies beyond the boundaries of rational thought. But now I know better. When I began leaking Bureau files, I thought my biggest challenge would be evading capture. Yet as I expose these dark truths piece by piece, I've come to understand how severely outmatched I am to call this a David and Goliath scenario would be dangerously optimistic. The Bureau's power is absolute, their resources seemingly endless. My actions barely register against the scale of their operations. Still, even in the face of insurmountable odds, the truth demands to be told. Among the Redwood Bureau's countless secrets, a pattern has begun to emerge. An escalating chain of disasters born from reckless ambition and scientific arrogance. Terrifying phenomena like the flesh melding, officially designated redwood Bureau phenomenon 8153, I now believe, is something that either slipped containment or was directly introduced into that community. Which makes the incident far more sinister. That case, while seemingly unrelated at first glance, suggests a deeper truth. That the Bureau's experimentation with forces beyond our comprehension has spiraled dangerously out of control. Redwood bureau phenomenon 7500. Known internally as the Grand Falloon. Originally contained deep within a hidden facility, Grand Falloon represents yet another catastrophic miscalculation by the Bureau. Its very existence challenges much about our understanding of life, biology and reality itself, while its full nature and capabilities remain obscured by layers of redactions and misreporting. What little I've uncovered speaks of something monstrous, a grotesque culmination of the Bureau's efforts. Make no mistake. Grand Falloon is not just another anomaly. It is a reflection of the Bureau itself, relentlessly expanding, unstoppable and endlessly destructive. Each file leaked, each anomaly revealed feels like another stone hurled uselessly against the towering Goliath. And yet I persist, because even the smallest voice raised in defiance can ignite change. The Bureau would have those who know of its existence believe that their control is unchallengeable, their methods justified, and their purpose righteous. But as you dissect this report, every lie they peddle conceals another atrocity. Every suppressed truth brings them closer to an inevitable reckoning. Grandfaloon is merely the latest symptom of their terminal arrogance. Stay vigilant, for the truths contained in these reports may mean the very difference between life and death, between freedom and enslavement. Even as I stand, vastly outmatched, the fight must go on. Because if we don't resist, who will, will.
- [06:31]
Agent Conroy
Through the massive metal door, distant and muffled yelling echoed its words indiscernible due to the thick barrier. With a heavy heart, I forced myself to stand, my body aching from the unfamiliar strain. The tunnel ahead was dimly lit, the rocks surrounding me damp and cold to the touch. A single slip of torn paper lay on the ground behind me, its message stark and walk. My head throbbed in time with my pulse and my vision swam as I tried to make sense of my surroundings. Ahead, an impenetrable darkness beckoned, promising only uncertainty and fear. Behind me, the soft glow from the door provided a faint illumination, but it did little to dispel the thickening dread that coiled within my chest. For a moment, I considered banging on the door, demanding answers to the numerous questions that plagued me. But something within me knew that such an action would only lead to greater suffering. So I listened instead, straining my ears to catch any hint of familiar voice or sound. The air was still and cold, carrying with it a musty scent of ancient earth. As I moved further into the cavernous space, my foot connected with something hard in plastic, sending it flying into the shadows with a loud clatter. The silence that followed was deafening, but after what felt like an eternity, my ears were met with only the sound of my own breathing. Cautiously, I reached down and picked up the object that had caused such a commotion in hand. It felt heavier than expected, and upon closer inspection, I noticed a rubber button protruding from its surface. I pressed it instinctively and was blinded by an instantaneous burst of light. The beam from my flashlight illuminated the corridor ahead, revealing jagged rocks stretching out before me like monstrous teeth bared in warning. Yet all around were signs of human intervention, tools scattered here and there amidst piles of discarded debris from long, abandoned excavations. Or perhaps they were more recent, I couldn't be sure. Walking along, I stumbled upon a natural cave entrance, which stretched down into the dark only a short distance in. I quickly realized how small this cave was. With the flashlight, I could see this cavern and the hallway it's connected to. And that was it. The path down ends in a pool of limpid water, its depths unknown, shrouded by brownish haze from something kicking up sediment at the bottom. God only knows where it leads, or what's inside of it. I hurriedly walked back to the door I must have entered from. I knocked and knocked, then started slamming my fists on the door. I began hitting it with such force that my hands started to go numb, not realizing I had been screaming. My throat was burning, and by the time I ran out of steam, I felt completely exhausted. There was no response from the other side. Not a sound or movement. Panic grips my heart as I frantically scan my surroundings, wondering how I could have ended up in this situation. The memory of the torn piece of paper comes flooding back to me. Just walk forward, I told myself, trying to muster some semblance of confidence. A queasy feeling was rising in my stomach, and a dull ache was spreading through my veins, making its way to My skull again. I remembered the paper. All that is asked of me is to walk forward. Well, they didn't say swim, drown or die. I think the point was that I proceed. Perhaps I'll follow that one simple instruction and find a way out. In an effort to proceed, I return to the cave. Finding the still pool of brownish water waiting for me. I approach cautiously, just to be sure. I throw a loose stone into the water, hoping to startle anything residing inside into motion. Nothing. I see no other motion, so I prepare myself. Only dressed in a white shirt with white pants, I've submerged myself into the terrifying unknown. Shrouded in kicked up sediment that spread with every step, I very slowly moved forward, swimming through a small opening. I felt my way through as soon as I was in the next chamber and without opening my eyes, I swam upward. A painful thud echoes through my head as I smash my skull on the ceiling. Through the haze of semi consciousness, I desperately searched for a way to surface, eventually finding it and hastily swimming upwards. The air filled my lungs in a relieving gasp. Thankfully, the light was waterproof and the beam filled the new cavern. Not only could I see the new cave I was in, but I could also see another opening under the water. Beneath a layer of what looked to be white stuff under the surface. Straight down, I climbed up to a small landing I could sit upon. The room featured absolutely nothing else. It was an air pocket with a region below I'd have to swim through. The only thing guiding me was a vague light at the bottom of the chamber. Illuminating through a cave while the water is clear. The closer you got to the cave, the more of this powdery white substance was around. It wasn't an extreme dive, just a few feet, yet the idea of it still scared me beyond reason. As I resigned myself to the task at hand and submerged myself with water, the sounds of moving liquid echoed around me and strangled my heart with horror. The thought of something being in the water with me was all consuming. I groped through the cold abyss helplessly until my fingers managed to latch on the walls. I clawed my way through, lungs burning from the effort and dwindling oxygen, only to surface. In the pool with me was a small light fixture, the one which I'd been following. As I crawled into the dry area, the light suddenly shut off, leaving me blind in the dark. I click on the flashlight again to see an immense tunnel which spans into infinity before me. Without guidance aside from the circle of visibility my light provided, I pressed on. Before long, the jagged rock caverns turned into a geometric Splay of concrete. Rather than wandering through a dark, rocky tunnel, I wandered through a dark concrete tunnel, its depths unknown to me. The flashlight's range was pathetic at best and had barely illuminated the tunnel, giving the impression that it went on forever. Along the walls were markings, strands of lashed stone, lines of torn up concrete that stretch along its length as if something was dragged. Spots of brown and red began to appear in the divots, and dots of the same color were now speckling across the floor. After a while of walking, I found myself in the center of a large room. My light couldn't reach the walls because of its size, yet I could almost hear its vastness. The room was massive, and sounds bounced off the walls with noticeable distance. After a single step, you'd only hear the echo of a few seconds later. I continued on, ignoring all the warning bells in my own mind. As I walked, the area around me is enveloped in total darkness. A single cone of vision reaches out before me in the form of my flashlight's beam. The distance between me and the beam's farthest point became subject to interpretation. My mind could hardly contemplate at all, much less gauge its range accurately. A part of me was hopeless, drowning in pessimism, figuring I was already doomed long before I woke up. The rest of me scrambled to put together plans for an escape, a way out of this hell. Perhaps at the end, like a rat in a maze, I'd find my block of cheese in the form of a way out. As my confidence and my sanity wavered, I finally heard something in the dark. A momentary slapping, like bare feet against flat concrete. I stopped in my tracks and spun in every direction with the light, trying in vain to see what the source was. After a while, whatever was chasing me had thankfully stopped halting just before a vast wall. A strip of yellow tape reached across it from right to left. With no real insight, I picked right, listening closely for anything behind me. My chosen path eventually panned out as lights began to shine from one end of a rectangular hallway. I was drawn like a moth to a flame. And under the lights, I found a door much like the one I found myself on the other side of. I knocked gingerly, immediately pointing my flashlight behind me in case whatever was out there had crept up behind me. I swear I could see something. Something alive with its eyes on me. To my complete shock, the door actually began to open. A moment later, as the door slowly creaked open, I found myself pushing through the gap between the door and the frame before it was big enough for me to fit through. After Getting through the doors immediately started shutting. Another brilliant light shone from above. A normal door, one with an actual handle, a bed, some nice lights, and an MRE on the table. Even if change of clothes was laid out. Whatever comfort I had felt was immediately betrayed by the obvious presence of a camera alongside a shower that was out in the open. At first I was confused, and now I'm utterly perplexed. I look around, not daring to get too comfortable in here. Nearby were a few papers sitting atop a dull metal table that was chained to the wall. All of the furniture is chained to the walls. To my growing confusion, the papers on the desk revealed a good amount to me. There was a picture of me, followed by some descriptors. Bill Monte, age 31, male. It goes on to list my many allergies, medications that I take, and other medicinal ailments. An uncomfortable amount of detail about me, my old place of residence, my family members. They even listed my pets. For a moment, I reminisce on my golden retriever, Dewey. With just this paper, many memories came floating back to me like a cure for amnesia. What concerns me is how and why this is here. Who put this here? This room has no other exits or entrances, meaning the only way out is back into the chamber, where something hides in the dark. Rifling through the stack of papers, I eventually found something that was useful to me. A map. It shows the vast room I was in. A small rectangular outcrop labeled Calm Room and a number of offshoots that sporadically wind in random directions. In the main chamber, there is a flat wall, the one I chose to go right from when encountering. Had I chosen to go left, I would have been met with an interwoven tunnel network. Unfortunately for me, this seems to be the only way forward. A small red box was drawn onto one of the tunnels and the word UP is scrawled beside it. Certain tunnels are outlined in blue marker for some reason, while others are outlined in green or red. As I tried to understand the map's markings, I hear something nearby again. It sounded like skin striking stone. And while it was subtle at first, something then presses its weight into the metal door of my room. It groans and squeaks against a tremendous force, so I duck beneath the desk with nowhere else to go. I can hear a monstrous breath before the weight is taken off the door and the sounds grow quiet. Stepping out from beneath the desk, I realize that this might be why the huge outer door is there. It seems that my only options are to either sit here and starve or re enter the chamber and head for the tunnels. I was not planning to leave this calm room behind, though not yet at least. And I was certainly going to take advantage of what it had to offer. A beef ravioli, mre, a quick shower. But before that, I'll cover up the camera with my shirt or something so they can't see me. As I ready my meal, I also spend time poring over the map. I'm assuming there's more than this. Whatever the up goal is for, it must insinuate a second floor. The aroma of pasta sauce and the chemically warmed food managed to tear my attention away from the map as I realized how hungry I actually was. After scarfing down the meal, I grabbed a sheet off the bed, tossing it over the camera. As I do this, I hear the door starting to open. I peek through the crack, anxiously looking for something large approaching. The sheet slides off the camera and as I notice it falls, the door begin closing again. I sigh, disgusted with what I've witnessed. I try it again to see if I'm correct and sure enough, if the camera is blocked, the protective doors automatically begin to open. I have another idea. I turn on the hot water and let it run for a while, building up steam on the glass walls. That should offer me some privacy at least. After I shower, I figured it would be a good idea to rest, going so far as to curl up in the bed and trying to doze off. Yet when I closed my eyes there, it felt like an electricity pulsing beneath them. My mind couldn't rest as I tossed and turned. I casually engaged in silent conversation with myself until a noise gained my full attention. A groan. Not one of metal straining, but rather a more human groan. A moan of pain. A muted cry followed by a gurgle. I could hear a snap beneath what sounded like mud. An obscured sharp sound accented by another human noise. I could hear what sounded like humans being crunched together and it was almost crystal clear. My stomach turned. The meal I just had was threatening to re emerge. Eventually, these noises grew distant. Being carried by the sounds of familiar slaps on concrete. It was clear to me that there would be no peace or relaxation in this place. I can't think of anyone who would sleep peacefully after being thrown into this mess. Instead, I had to steel myself. Grabbing the map, I approached the door and slowly open it. The exterior door did not move initially until I closed the inner door behind me. Then the dark expanded ahead. I had only my little flashlight to help me guide the way. The weak light lapped along the gray concrete Forming a perfectly rectangular silhouette at the edge of the tunnel. Along the floor was a shiny wet substance, brownish red with flakes of something pinkish orange. I approached the right side of the tunnel where I came in from, and I peered down the flat wall. A quick scan with my flashlight revealed nothing in the immediate vicinity, and so I began jogging. I didn't want to spend any more time than is necessary in this exposed area. As I jog, I can hear my feet rhythmically hitting the ground one after another. Eventually, they are joined by an echo, a shadow that mimics my steps. Instead of looking, I opted to increase my pace, searching desperately for the tunnels I'd found on the map. When I found them, I got goosebumps. My flashlight gradually reveals another huge wall, A rocky and untamed surface with innumerable holes. The surface almost looked like honeycomb, and the whole wall gave off an air of trypophobia, making my skin crawl. With little time to stand in fear, I approached one of the smaller holes as the footsteps behind me approached, sliding inside. I was just small enough to fit, and I quickly crawled deeper. The mimicking gait stopped, replaced by dragging sounds that rose from my position. I poked back out of the tunnel and peered around with my flashlight. I had only enough time to witness a human looking hand slide lifelessly onto one of the tunnels above me. It was in the tunnels with me. I peered at the map as I crawled, trying to decipher which tunnel I had entered into. Despite the numerous entrances on the face of the wall, only four are mentioned on the map. I can't be 100% sure, but I think I entered one outlined in green. It's the closest one to the wall I followed. Here it weaves into a larger tunnel. One leads into a great chamber, the other end leads to the assumed goal. Up. This seemed like it was too simple, almost too easy. I could tell there was something more to this, and I was at the mercy of these tunnels, praying the one above didn't lead whoever or whatever that was back to me. The further I progressed, the more panic spread through me and my muscles started to shake and lock up. I really don't like tight spaces, and this tunnel is only just big enough for one person to crawl through. I grit my teeth with such voracity that I hear a crack. The adrenaline made sure I paid it no mind. I dragged myself forward slowly, stopping to listen every few feet, then resuming my crawling advance. The cave walls didn't move, but I'd occasionally hear pebbles trickling in the dark. Eventually the rounded walls of the tunnel stopped being replaced by a circular hole ahead of me. My light barely kissed the other side of the hole, and I looked down to double check my map. This was it alright. The next tunnel going left from here would lead me to the red up on the map. Yet every time I inched closer to it, I felt something screaming in my head, resisting the idea. It felt like there was something in there, waiting for me. Holding its breath so I couldn't notice it. I began to hold mine too, thinking I would hear it to reveal its position. But nothing moved or made a sound. The light was a dead giveaway. I inched backwards until my light no longer shone in the tunnel ahead. And I clicked off my light to see what would happen. Almost instantly, I heard motion. Something dragging its heavy frame across uneven stones. Another groan sounded out and nearly deafened me. Heart pounding, I felt my flashlight pointed ahead with my thumb on the button in case I heard something dropped. Draw near. Something was drawing near. I could hear a rubbery substance being scraped along the stones ahead of me. Before I could think twice, I clicked my flashlight out of fear. Two hands, their bones elongated and emaciated. Fingers gingerly clawing at the rocks around it. Skin scraped off, with pieces of it dangling off the sharpest edges. Whatever skin was there showed different colors. Some red, some pink, some brown or pale. All of it leapt backwards the moment my light touched it. Then it started to gurgle before its mass slammed into the tunnel wall. A grotesque foot was reaching inside, making it farther than the hands, but without the articulation. I could see its toes latch onto the rocks as it pulled, heaving something into the tunnel with me. But it wasn't fitting. Whatever this thing was, it's far too big for this tunnel. I sat in place like a statue, horrified and confused at what I was witnessing. The gurgles grew into growls as the foot recedes. Suddenly, more limbs explode into the tunnel, latching onto everything on all sides as. As it attempts to pull itself in. Thankfully, it doesn't fit. The thing starts pulling back out as I sat there on my belly, unwilling to move, unable to breathe. My body felt numb. I was paralyzed, in shock. I know I need to do something, but my body refuses to. I started to shake, quaking in position. The only thing that moves is my head. The rest of me was rigid. I put my head down and started breathing, knowing I had to move. Then something else happened. I could hear the heavy body of that thing land outside the tunnel's entrance. It was behind me. Its body lurched over to My tunnel. And at this moment, my body decided to cooperate. I crawled forward with extreme efficiency, not daring to look behind me. I moved past some bits of skin and torn flesh, getting through the exit in my tunnel and landing in a puddle of disgusting liquid. It wasn't until this moment that I could clearly tell its blood, and I had no time to really think about what that meant. Instead, I picked myself up and sprinted, headed to the left. I found the path leading upwards and precariously climbed through. Through. There's a large hole at the top leading into the roof of the tunnels. This must be the up. I climb and find myself in a smaller cavity. All of the walls and ceiling were visible. With my flashlight's limited range, and to my total surprise, there was another set of lights way in the distance. I could hear gurgling again, and I looked down the hole to see the horrid hands grappling with the tunnels. Maybe it doesn't know that I'm up here yet. A part of me wanted to stealth forward without the flashlight, yet the rest of me was being electrocuted by my nervous system. A pulsing feeling of run for your life. No matter how slowly I tried to move, each motion was twitchy and staggered. I said, screw it, and ran, hoping to God that the distant lights would give me another calm room. The thing squeezed its way into the cave I was in, and its loud moans echo through the space. It growls, attempting a roar from behind a wall of phlegm and begins stomping towards me. In a regrettable moment, I turned around to finally see its full form. A tower of flesh and bone, moving limbs and ligature arms and legs wrapped in swaths of thick skin, skin, blankets, some pointing at me, others lost and groping for their surroundings. Even facing it, the creature couldn't move very well. Its limbs had poor circulation. A broken leg stomps its shattered ankle in front of the beast, dragging it forward alongside other weakened legs. Many of the limbs were broken or disfigured, and each motion was met with undulation from its fleshy mass, covered in sheets of skin loosely applied to its figure. The beast had an awe to it, a type of horror that until now could only be imagined. As my eyes scoured over the creature, my spine grew cold and my legs were pumping again, not requiring input from my brain or perhaps receiving it faster than I could think. As I approached the lights, I could hear metal scraping and two massive doors were opening up before me. I ran ahead at full speed. Gracefully, I fell into the calm room's opening, collapsing just before its door. As the metal bulk hit closed behind me, the beast moaned in frustration. It slams its full body weight into the doors, lurching their form towards me. Yet they didn't give way. It attempts this slam once, twice more, before finally giving up. As its crackling, broken body leaves the door, I find myself still lying there. Just like in the tunnel, I was paralyzed, unable to move. Whereas before I struggled to find any ability to sleep, I now found myself exhausted. I enter the calm room and instantly jump into bed. Within minutes, I go unconscious.
- [32:10]
Former Agent
Warning.
- [32:11]
Agent Conroy
Signal interruption detected.
- [32:15]
Sponsor Voice
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- [34:07]
Agent Conroy
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- [34:51]
Former Agent
Signal CONNECTION restored.
- [34:55]
Agent Conroy
I wake up on the cold concrete floor, stiff and sore. Even as my eyes fully open, I feel asleep. A sense of fogginess and detachment. My limbs struggled as I tried to get them underneath me. Gradually, I forced myself upright, muscles aching and protesting every motion. Behind me, the bulkhead loomed, a little dented, but still standing before me was a grand room with flowing air. I could hear rumbling in the distance, mechanical, like an AC unit. While somewhat illuminated, the room was still much too dark, and the obvious path forward was straight in front of me. An arrow on the ground pointed towards another bulkhead, this one smaller. Yet something else quickly drew my attention. A barely noticeable door off to the side, just visible under the poor illumination. I approach and check the doorknob. Surprisingly, it's unlocked. I quickly opened it and stepped inside, immediately stunned by the dramatic contrast. These were clean corridors, brightly lit and pristine, devoid of any filth or chaos. Hurriedly, I moved from room to room, taking stock of my surroundings. One door led to a maintenance storage area containing various tools, among them a crowbar, which I wasted no time grabbing. Another door revealed a desolate employee lounge, a depressing space with a solitary plastic table, a lone chair, and a vending machine whose press prices bordered on robbery. The next room housed a generator, humming softly with power. However, one room particularly captured my attention. An empty office holding a single page resting atop a bare desk. Unlike the previous notes I'd been given, this one was typed neatly in an impersonal font, clearly meant for someone else. It reads, get all personnel out of here. Here. If any subjects remain, you need to leave them behind. They'll send someone to clean up all the rest. But we need level 3 and above evacuated ASAP. There were no greetings, no warm sign offs, just a chillingly abrupt and urgent command to abandon the facility. If this note was referencing the place I found myself trapped in, that means I was in even greater danger than I'd realized. A shiver traced my spine, leaving a bitter chill lingering at the back of my neck. After scouring the area once more and finding nothing else of use, I reluctantly stepped back into the expansive chamber where I had woken. Only now did I notice a small slip of paper by the bulkhead. I unfolded it to see the same message I'd seen on the first walk. Standing in front of the bulkhead, frustration gradually took over my lingering fear. It just didn't move at all. The door remained immobile, devoid of any signals or obvious controls. Just the note and a broken door. Standing there for an absurd amount of time, I eventually realized that something might be broken. There's no way for me to interact with the bulkhead and no obvious controls nearby. Frustration gnawed at me as I searched every shadowed corner of the room, desperately hoping another exit would appear. There must be another way to go. After all, the people that were here seemed to have left. Eventually, hidden in the darkness, another door did reveal itself. This one, however, was firmly locked. Without hesitation, I wedged the crowbar into the gap and pried it open with a forceful crack. The new passage revealed itself as narrow and tight, scarcely larger than my own body. Branching tunnels of stone that snaked off in multiple directions. I sigh as I pick the direction the door would have led and start shuffling through. Wires ran along the corners, zip tied or duct taped into position as I passed by a particularly faulty port. Distortion sparks, startling me as its light quickly fades in and out. Approaching a junction in the cramped tunnel, I hesitated. To the right was the way I'd come. The left would presumably lead toward whatever awaited beyond the smaller bulkhead. One route would take me back toward the grotesque abomination I'd narrowly escaped earlier. The other direction promised the possibility of encountering something even worse. Worse? For a brief moment, the employee lounge I'd discovered earlier felt like heaven, a safe haven to hide until something came to get me out of there. But deep down, I knew no one was coming. And the longer I stayed, the lower my chances of survival were. Against every screaming instinct inside me, I forced myself forward into the unknown darkness. Turning left, I stepped deeper into the tunnel, my nerves raw and my heart hammering. My thoughts shifted to the creature, and my mind dug through every conceivable explanation for its existence. Is it an alien? Some unknown being? Or perhaps the result of something darker, Something deliberately made? What could possibly have created something so horrific? What horrible processes must one endure in order to arrive at this nightmarish result? I knew I couldn't find the answers. I'd likely never know the truth. But these questions burned a hole in my mind. Any other thought I had set under their shadow, I came out of these troubling thoughts. As I reached the end of the tunnel, it branched left again, where it ended abruptly before a door. This door had been forced open, bent outward and lying broken, face down in the court or beyond. I hesitated for just a moment, and in that brief pause, I heard something else. A sound coming from the other end of the tunnel, scraping and scuffing, followed by what sounded like slaps. And as I looked, I saw my Hands stretch into view more and more as they reached and prodded. My heart sank to my feet as a cold panic overtook me. It had already found its way to me. Me. I took off running through the broken doorway into the next section. It's dark. Only red lights illuminate the walls, and barely at that. The only sound I could hear clearly was the beast crawling its way through the tunnel behind me. The layout here was strange, with oddly geometric corners and unusual edges spotting the walls. It was unnatural compared to the decrepit tunnels that had led me here. Here, concrete floors and sharply defined walls formed an intricate labyrinth. With time, it became clear that I was in a maze with many branching paths and alternate routes and even dead ends. I stumbled directly into one such dead end just as I heard the beast finally release its form from the maintenance tunnel. Even worse, there's not a single place to hide. I hurried back out and started down another corridor, desperately hoping it wouldn't loop me back toward the beast. My pace quickened, though with great effort I avoided a full sprint, hoping to minimize noise. The overwhelming darkness made navigation nearly impossible. Every path looked the same, confusing me further with abrupt dips and steep rises. Sometimes you'll be hiking up a steep incline, other times you'll find yourself looking down a sharp drop. Every corner seemed to lead simultaneously nowhere and everywhere, robbing me of any sense of direction. And panic rapidly took hold. When I next encountered a dead end, I froze completely and strained my ears, listening closely. At first, all I could hear was the deafening rhythm of my heartbeat, each pulse sending nauseating ripples through my body. My limbs trembled and my eyes darted frantically through the darkness. I turned my thoughts to my breathing, to calm my body, and with the little time I didn't have to spare, clarity returned. Far off, I heard something heavy dragging across the concrete. I could vaguely discern its direction. Another sound accompanied it, an endless mechanical hum similar to an AC unit, emanating from the opposite direction. Without hesitation, I followed this mechanical drone, moving swiftly through the cold halls, fighting to maintain my slipping sanity. Sure enough, the mechanical humming became gradually clearer and the hallways began to change. Instead of steep inclines or sharp declines, the ground leveled out and the branching paths became fewer. I carefully checked each offshoot, pausing each time to confirm the source of the sound. Eventually, turning a corner, powerful lights came into view, piercing deep into the darkness ahead. Relief surged through me, and I rushed forward eagerly, only to have my hope crushed immediately. As I caught up to the lights, life drew drained out of my body. Another bulkhead stood ahead, already Shattered inward by something massive. The area reeked of rot and decay, and the floor leading up to the bulkhead as well as the bulkhead itself was covered in gore. Blood coated every surface, thick and congealed with scraps of torn skin hanging grotesquely from sharp stones. Strands of skin, sinew, wrapped tightly around stalagmites, pinning chunks of flesh grotesquely in place. My stomach wretched at the sight. I stifled the returning dry heaves as best I could. The sheer scale of the destruction was well beyond what the creature chasing me had shown. It was capable of something even worse had to have done this. The thought of encountering whatever was responsible terrified me more deeply. Despite every instinct screaming at me to turn back, I forced myself forward, stepping onto the gore covered path. Heat rose from the slick surface, and the blood itself felt disturbingly warm and thick, almost steaming. Beneath my feet, an unnatural warmth enveloped my body, clinging to me like a sickening embrace. The smell was suffocating, and the visuals were driving my mind toward the brink of insanity. Yet somehow the scale of carnage was so vast that my brain struggled to process it fully, leaving me oddly numb, barely able to grasp the implications. The extent of the carnage became clearer as I moved deeper into the room. Each step intensified my urge to turn back. But where to? I'd run straight into the beast. I had to stay focused and follow the gruesome trail forward. This space was enormous, stretching into unseen shadows held up by pillars scattered throughout. My pulse quickened with every step, the ever present dread gnawing away at my resolve. But where to? I'd run straight into the beast. I had to stay flat, focused on following the gory path. This section was simply massive, having a high ceiling and many pillars to support it. A vast room that spreads out to unseen ends. Soon I understood what this place was. At its center, illuminated harshly by powerful lights, was a circular opening, a pit descending into darkness. The gore slicked path ended abruptly here, sliding grotesquely down over the edge into the unknown depths below. Against every instinct screaming inside me, I cautiously approached the edge and peered down. The moment I did, I regretted it instantly. A wave of horrendous air slapped my nose, instantly assaulting my senses. I staggered backwards, instinctively holding my breath and exhaling only after retreating to a safer distance. The odor was indescribable, matched in horror only by the sight that awaited me below. I peered hesitantly over the pit's edge and witnessed a nightmare. An undulating mass of bodies, limbs writhing and intertwining like worms, torsos grasping blindly at the air. Despite lacking heads or legs, flesh stretched grotesque quickly for what seemed like miles, encasing the horrific mound that shifted and pulsed in constant motion. Near the wall closest to me ran the tale of gore, slick and fresh, ending at a flattened, mutated mass whose skin still clung grotesquely to the concrete edges. Above, the thick strands hung down like melted cheese, reaching toward the writhing mass below. Severed limbs hung suspended, entangled in a perverse web of flesh like gruesome zip lines. The scene overwhelmed my senses completely. The odor, the sight, all permanently searing themselves into my memory. Panic took hold, and I stumbled back, nearly crawling away, until I found refuge behind a pillar. My body shook uncontrollably long, fighting for air, my mind desperately trying to process what I'd seen. Then I heard the beast. It gurgled and roared, limbs spasming uncontrollably as it charged toward the pit. At first, I feared it was heading straight for me, but instead, it rushed directly toward the pit. Peeking cautiously from my hiding spot, I watched in stunned horror as the creature lunged forward, parts of its body hesitating momentarily at the edge while the majority pulled it over. A few limbs grabbed and held at anything they could grasp, reluctant to fall. Gathering my resolve, I tightened my grip on the crowbar and charged, striking at the grasping limbs. Bones crackled and snapped beneath each blow until the beast finally lost its grip and plummeted into the pit below. Looking over the edge, I watch as the beast lands in the living pit with a spectacular splatter, the pressure inside seemingly causing it to explode, sending organs, limbs and chunks of flesh flying upward to the walls in molten clumps that adhered to whatever surface they contacted. For a moment, I found myself relieved, but reality quickly struck as I continued to watch, the mass below erupted into violent chaos, limbs tearing at each other fiercely. I staggered back again, breathing heavily, the shock overwhelming. Eventually, I forced myself upright, retreating from the gruesome scene and collapsing against a pillar. With a desperate need for peace, I forced myself to my feet and continued onward. My legs carried me aimlessly, searching fruitlessly for anything that could guide or direct me. Gradually, the distant noise from the pit faded away, and as the adrenaline slowly drained from my body, exhaustion claimed me completely. I stumbled and collapsed onto the cold, unforgiving floor. I had no desire left to rise, no urge to continue forward. My mind splintered into fragmented memories of the unspeakable horrors I'd witnessed and the terrifying things I'd done against my will. Sleep took hold, swiftly plunging me into restless darkness.
- [51:03]
Former Agent
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- [51:09]
Agent Conroy
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Agent Conroy
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Agent Conroy
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- [52:09]
Former Agent
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Agent Conroy
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- [52:41]
Former Agent
Signal connection restored.
- [52:45]
Agent Conroy
Sometime later, I was jolted awake by new sounds, a loud booming noise resonating through the concrete beneath me. The powerful thud vibrated my entire body, stirring me immediately into anxious alertness. At first, fatalism gripped me, assuming another monstrosity had arrived. Perhaps another abomination was rising from the pit. Maybe it was something even more horrifying, something entirely new and incomprehensible. With resignation, I lay back down. But another boom followed. And then another, Each strong, consistent, yet not growing louder or closer. My curiosity overcame my dread, compelling me to investigate. My chest felt heavy, my limbs sluggish as I rose unsteadily and staggered forward. There was no urgency left in my body, just a numbing lethargy, making every step difficult. Thoughts of mortality filled my mind, an odd comfort in knowing death might finally end this nightmare. But if I'm still breathing, the only desire I can focus on is getting out of this hellhole. The booming ceased as I drew closer, but I could tell it originated from behind Another bulkhead. Although large, this one appeared smaller than the previous bulkheads. Approaching, it became evident that, like before, this bulkhead had no visible controls or mechanisms for opening. I remained trapped, yet decided to rest beside it anyway, hoping for something Sitting in silence, my mind grappled heavily with the reality of my situation. Death, strangely, felt preferable compared to remaining trapped here indefinitely. Each time I closed my eyes, vivid, disturbing visions flooded my mind. Bleeding masses of writhing muscle and sinew limbs tangled grotesquely in internal conflict. The individual limbs seemed to fight amongst themselves, either rejecting or resisting their monstrous integration into the horrific mass. It struck me that they must somehow recognize differences within themselves, though to me they all appeared the same, just dead flesh, devoid of nuance. Perhaps that was why some limbs desperately resisted being absorbed, clawing at the ground instead of submitting to assimilation in the pit. As I sat consumed by unsettling questions and disturbing images, a sudden gentle noise interrupted my spiraling thoughts. A small, tentative tapping sound against the bulkhead beside me. Startled, I cautiously reached out and gently knocked back on the metal. To my surprise, the sound responded softly, knocking again. Immediately wary, I pulled away, suspicion overtaking curiosity. Was it another monstrous entity? Another piece of that writhing mass? Before my anxiety could grow any further, my question received an abrupt, undeniable answer. With a deafening bang, the bulkhead blasted open, sending a storm of mine, metal, shrapnel, debris and fire exploding into the room. Voices rang out clearly from the chaos, shouting urgently through the smoke and dust. Need more C4. One yelled, immediately echoed by another. More C4. Another massive explosion erupted, fully demolishing the already damaged bulkhead, scattering chunks of twisted metal across the floor. A large team stormed through the newly created opening, with one figure quickly spotting me amidst the wreckage. Without hesitation, he grabbed me firmly by the shirt, yanking me upright and inspecting me intensely through his mask. In an aggressive voice, he demanded, have you been exposed? I shook my head desperately in response. Alright. He shouted, dropping me to my feet but immediately grabbing me again by the scuff of my neck, he dragged me swiftly towards the destroyed bulkhead. A crowd of people was gathering. We got one. Get him a mask and a flamethrower. Now. He barked authoritatively. Within moments, a medical team rushed up, giving me a rapid examination. They handed me fatigues and placed a heavy flamethrower into my trembling hands. Before I could even form a question, the man who equipped me began hastily providing instructions, pointing to different parts of the weapon. This part is dangerous. Don't touch it. He barked urgently. My head spinning, I barely had time to Secure my gas mask before being shoved forward once more, back toward the pit I had desperately fled from earlier. Panic surged through me, my feet resisting. But whoever was behind me continued pushing me onward. Approaching the others gathered around the pit, I saw an intense orange glow radiating from its depths, illuminating, illuminating the surrounding area and flickering shadows. The man who'd first grabbed me approached me again, pointing directly into the horrific pit, shouting sharply, burn it. Frozen in stunned confusion, I still didn't move, Unable to process the chaotic orders around me. The man quickly grew impatient, seizing me by the shoulders and physically dragging me closer to the pit's edge. He pointed downward again, yelling insistently, burn it. I finally snapped out of my stupor and began directing scorching flames down into the writhing mass below. The roaring fire surged, bathing everything in brilliant orange and searing heat. The limbs twisted and flailed wildly, skin liquefying into fiery streams as the grotesque figures were reduced to blackened char. The deepest recesses of the pit, still rock writhed violently, desperate limbs grabbing frantically at each other, panicked in their final moments, safety shielded behind my gas mask, I couldn't smell the horrific stench I knew was rising from the burning mass below. My ears filled with a high pitched ringing, and exhaustion began setting in again as the fuel in my flamethrower ran dry, matching the timing of those around me. Just then, another crew approached calmly carrying large, large satchels. Unzipping the bags revealed an absurd amount of explosives. With chilling nonchalance, they began tossing orange bricks down into the pit. One of the men pointed toward the shattered bulkhead behind me, instructing sternly, head over there. Let's get you cleaned up. You've done your part. I walked backwards towards the bulkhead, my eyes locked on the pit as mountains of explosive charges were dropped into the writhing horror below. The commanding voice spoke once more with a disturbing calmness. They'll get deeper into the mass. I was swiftly pulled back toward the large gathering of people, and only now did a medical team finally step in, gently guiding me aside to perform a thorough checkup. Despite everything I'd endured, I was remarkably unharmed. They kept me close as the chaos continued around us. Moments later, the pit erupted with violent explosions, spewing smoke and bits of charred limbs into the air, scattered pieces landing with dull, crispy thuds on the concrete floor. Another team moved in immediately afterward. Clad entirely in hazmat suits and equipped with bizarre equipment, they replaced the explosives team, quickly securing the area. A man I assumed was their leader approached me, standing tall as he scrutinized, scrutinized me carefully. How long have you been here? He demanded firmly. I don't know, I managed, my voice weak and uncertain. He eyed me carefully. How did you manage to survive? I just kept moving, I replied quietly. He studied me briefly, then nodded. Alright, we're getting you out of here. You'll be taken to a secure location and debriefed by our higher ups. He pointed toward a group already moving away from us. Follow them. They're headed out. Nodding silently, I joined the departing group. One of them noticed me approaching and turned to face me, patting my shoulder reassuringly. You're alive. He exclaimed warmly. I'm alive. I echoed numbly. As the group walked and talked, swapping stories and engaging in casual conversation, I remained silent, merely trailing along. Relief washed over me at the thought of escaping this nightmarish place. Yet I couldn't shake the deep, unsettling dread left by all I'd witnessed. None of my questions had been answered. In fact, I had more questions now than before. These unanswered mysteries weighed heavily on my exhausted body as I stumbled forward. My thoughts swirled chaotically, my mind replaying the horror I'd experienced. Each step felt more exhausting than the last. My body was barely able to carry itself forward. Conversations around me drifted into the background, voices becoming mere noise, my mind fractured, further bombarded continuously by grotesque images I wished desperately to forget. As we walked, others attempted casual conversation or exchanged stories about their experiences, but I offered nothing in response. My silence wasn't intentional, I simply couldn't find the words. Eventually, someone noticed my silence, gently asking, are you alright? I managed only a weary shrug, unable to articulate anything beyond the quiet exhaustion that had overtaken my entire being. For the first time in God knows how long, I saw sunlight. The brightness stung my eyes, momentarily overwhelming me. As my vision adjusted, I saw we were emerging into a plateau scattered across the terrain, their presence reassuring, an orderly and stark contrast to the horrors I had left behind. A team swiftly guided me toward their suv, gripping my arm firmly yet reassuringly. Everyone piled into their vehicles, and soon we were driving away, leaving the nightmare behind. The warmth of the sunlight poured through the windows, gently soothing my trembling body as I fought to push the horrific images from my mind. As we drove away, it became clear that the entrance had been intentionally hidden atop a remote plateau in the Rocky Mountains. The scenery outside was breathtaking, majestic mountains and lush greenery providing a stark contrast to the nightmarish pit below. While the beautiful surroundings briefly calmed my racing thoughts, they couldn't entirely erase the memories etched deeply into my mind the silence was broken by a gentle voice beside me. You all right? Someone asked, noticing my distant gaze. I nodded slowly, but the tears pooling in my eyes betrayed my true state. Once we get you home, you can eat, shower, the voice continued, listing off various comforts awaiting me at our destination. Yet the more he spoke, the less I heard. My mind drifted back into the horrors I'd faced, drowning in a sea of unanswered questions. Suddenly his tone shifted, becoming more serious. Just know you can't leave yet. We'll have questions for you regarding your experience at this facility, he said, his voice firm. I had expected as much. In fact, I had plenty of questions myself. So many burning questions, consuming my thoughts relentlessly. I still don't know how I'd ended up there, why I'd been chosen, or even what purpose that grotesque creature served. But one haunting question gnawed at me more deeply than all the rest, tormenting me relentlessly. Impossible to ignore. What if that thing had caught me? If it had managed to trap me? Would I have been added to that horrifying mass? Would I have died instantly? Or worse, would I have remained conscious, forcibly melded into that writhing monstrosity?
- [64:59]
Former Agent
Amidst the chaos and shadows of the Redwood Bureau's darkest chapters resides the unsettling truth of redwood Bureau phenomenon 7500 Grand Falloon. This event is far from isolated. It's another alarming piece in the growing body of evidence revealing the Bureau's terrifying capabilities and their insatiable hunger for power. Regardless of potential danger, the disturbing incidents detailed here share troubling similarities with previously documented anomalies, notably phenomena such as flesh melding, the horrifying melding of bodies, the inexplicable fusion of human forms each points to a disturbing pattern. Are these anomalies naturally occurring manifestations of forces we cannot comprehend? Or are they artificial creations born from the Bureau's tinkering with things beyond this reality? Consider also the Doldrums, a facility supposedly engineered to be an inescapable prison. Buried beneath the earth within this facility was an almost identical entity, also designated Grand Falloon. Once is an anomaly, but twice is more than a pattern. There is some purpose to these entities I cannot yet grasp. Why would the Bureau seek to possess or even create entities like Grand Falloon? Is it to understand the unknown? Or are their motives more sinister, to harness anomalies as instruments of control, terror, or power? The fact that phenomena such as Flesh Melding and the Blob share similar characteristics of consuming and integrating organization organic matter into grotesque amalgamations strongly suggests a purposeful methodology. These entities do not merely exist. I believe they are being cultivated and weaponized, possibly as tools in some unfathomable agenda that we are only beginning to grasp. The Redwood Bureau's calculated experiments reveal an organization driven by dangerous humans. Hubris. They attempt to tame the uncontrollable, heedless of the catastrophic consequences. Every containment, breach and anomaly outbreak underscores a chilling. The Bureau's ambitions frequently outpace their capabilities. The Grand Falloon incident in particular, may indicate a disturbing new phase. One that highlights an escalating arms race of anomalous horrors. As the Bureau's web of deception begins to unravel, it is increasingly clear that we are dealing with forces far beyond mere human understanding. Their actions suggest a desire not just to contain, but to actively cultivate and create those anomalies. Even at the cost of human lives and public safety. Each of these entities, in its unique yet horrific way, could serve as a tool for something much darker that we've yet to put together. Yet despite their rigorous efforts, these anomalies far too often escape their grasp. How many more of these Grandfalloon entities remain contained? The Bureau's history has proven that containment is temporary at best. When the next breach occurs, and it will, will we be prepared to face the world it leaves behind? The Redwood Bureau believes itself above accountability, shielded by wealth and power. But awareness is a powerful weapon. Our vigilance, our questions, and our determination to expose the truth may ultimately prove to be our only defense against these horrors. We cannot afford complacency, for the alternative is oblivion.
- [69:13]
Agent Conroy
Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do. I'm happy as a clam.
- [69:20]
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- [69:23]
Agent Conroy
I just meant that I feel really good about my coverage.
- [69:25]
Former Agent
I mean, even if you took the.
- [69:26]
Sponsor Voice
Clam out for the best day ever.
- [69:27]
Former Agent
Visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing.
- [69:30]
Agent Conroy
A strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy. And your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy.
- [69:35]
Former Agent
Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.