Podcast
Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron
Hosted by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. · EN
You don’t snap at your kids because you’re a bad parent. You snap because your stress builds faster than your awareness, and no one ever taught you how to handle that.
I’m Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience and founder of Curious Neuron. I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast for parents who care deeply, know a lot, and still find themselves overwhelmed in the real moments.
This is not a podcast where I tell you how to be a perfect parent. I’m in it with you.
Each week, I invite you into my own reflections:
- what I’m learning from scientific articles and books,
- what I’m noticing in my nervous system and emotions,
- and what real parents and experts teach me in conversation.
Together, we get curious about why we snap, shut down, or over-function in conflict, and what’s actually happening in our brain and body when we do. We talk about stress, shame, repair, boundaries, playfulness, and the quiet moments no one sees—so you can start to recognize your patterns and gently shift them.
By listening, you’ll learn to:
- notice your stress and body signals earlier,
- understand the lenses and stories that intensify hard moments,
- regulate your nervous system when parenting feels like “too much”,
- and handle conflict with more calm, clarity, and repair.
- But more than that, you’ll have a companion in the work.
I’ll share where I struggle, what I’m practicing, and how I’m trying to grow, so you don’t feel like the only parent who finds this hard.
If you’re ready to move away from “perfect” parenting and toward reflective parenting—where every tough moment becomes data, not failure—pull up a chair.
Let’s learn, feel, and grow together.
Find out which book I will be covering next month:
https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/
Join the private group on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/
Start training your emotional awareness for FREE:
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
Purchase my course The Emotionally Aware Parent.
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Follow us on Instagram @drcindyhovington or Facebook @curiousneuronparenting
29episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Why self-care isn't working for you
Jun 200:25:28Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailI'm Back! After five months away from the microphone, I'm finally back.If you've been wondering where I've been, thank you for checking in. Your emails, messages, and support meant more to me than you know.I explain what happened in this episode and share how this time away also gave me space to reflect.In also share what I've been learning about capacity the idea that our ability to cope, connect, parent, and respond changes throughout the day based on what's happening around us and within us.We often tell ourselves that we don't have time for self-care.But what if the real question isn't about self-care at all?What if it's about learning to notice and respond to our needs?In this episode, we explore:Why "I don't have time for self-care" may be the wrong questionWhat Capacity Mountain taught me about stress and emotional well-beingThe three categories of needs that most parents overlook: Body, Mind, and ConnectionHow small intentional pauses can help you show up differently for your childWhy many of us have forgotten what our needs even areA simple way to start noticing what is draining—and replenishing—your capacityThis episode marks a new chapter for the podcast and for Curious Neuron.Whether you've been here since the beginning or you're joining for the first time, I'm grateful you're here.Let's reconnect, reflect, and continue this journey together.Support the showMore ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-clubLearn about the next books we will be covering:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sGrab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Untangling a Tricky Family Dynamic with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
Dec 1600:50:33Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailFamily dynamics can feel especially intense around the holidays and one of the most challenging patterns many parents face is the triangle between you, your partner, and your mother-in-law. In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish returns to the podcast to help us make sense of this dynamic with compassion, clarity, and evidence-based tools.In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and author of You, Your Husband & His Mother, to unpack why the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law dynamic is so emotionally charged and how it quietly strains couples.We talk about boundaries, guilt, generational differences, cultural expectations, and what couples can do to stop feeling divided and start acting as a solid team.In this episode, we cover:Why this family dynamic is uniquely triggeringHow boundaries get misunderstood and what actually worksWhat to do when your partner shuts down or minimizes the issueHow to recover after a difficult family gatheringWhy connection comes before problem-solvingJoin me for a free Webinar on December 17th at 8pm (and get the replay!):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904You can purchase Tracy's book, You, Your Husband and Your Mother in Law, in the US or in Canada. You can also get her first book (which I also highly recommend called "I didn't Sign up for This" in the US or Canada. Listen to my previous conversation with Tracy below:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000627417247Support the showMore ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-clubLearn about the next books we will be covering:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sGrab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →Your Triggers Aren’t a Parenting Failure — They’re a Signal
Dec 800:27:16Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailIf you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you.Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond.We’ll talk about:Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brainThe science behind emotional flooding (in both you and your child)How stress, exhaustion, and self-expectations reduce your window of toleranceWhat “repair” looks like — and why it matters more than getting it perfectYou’ll walk away with practical reflection questions and simple shifts that help you move from snapping to connecting — even on the hard days.Join next week's FREE webinar (or get the replay):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904Read the full article: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24392687/Share your thoughts and questions with me:https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8nsRead a blog post about this:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/12/03/why-you-still-snap-even-when-youve-done-the-work/Support the showMore ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-clubLearn about the next books we will be covering:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sGrab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →The reason you snap at your kids (and what you can try instead)
Dec 100:22:34Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailHi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy. You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap.In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....that isn't always realistic). I would love to find a way to communicate better with all of you. Share your story that is related to this episode in the link below OR ask a question to help me create a future podcast episode. https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8nsSupport the showMore ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-clubLearn about the next books we will be covering:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sGrab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →Why parenting advice won't help you stop snapping at your kids
Nov 2500:24:30Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailIf you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense.After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern:We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works.In this episode, I talk about:Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scriptsWhat’s really happening in your body during those moments you “flip”Why you’re not a bad parent — you’re simply depletedHow viewing your child through a leadership lens instantly changes your reactionsThe real first step to building a calmer, more connected homeYou don’t need more advice.You need emotional bandwidth — and today, we talk about how to build it.New! Becoming a Reflective Parent course is now available!!!Learn the 10 skills that help you rewire patterns, regulate emotions, and understand your nervous system. Get it today!https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Support the showMore ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-clubLearn about the next books we will be covering:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sGrab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health
Nov 1700:49:29Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailToday on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.In this episode, we cover:The two stages when boys start hiding emotionsWhy boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re strugglingHow to become an emotional safe space for your sonWhat makes it hard for dads to be vulnerableGentle ways to start emotional conversations with boysThe RULER model for building emotional intelligenceHow to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawnWhy parents’ own emotional work mattersPractical scripts and small daily moments that build trustRead our blog post about this topic:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/Learn more from Brendan below:@re.masculinehttps://remasculine.comhttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/Support the showStart your journey to becoming emotionally aware:Step 1: Join our Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcastor visit our website to know which books I will be covering during the next months:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Step 2: Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sStep 3: Join our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent or join the next 8 week group cohort (starting in September 2026)https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →Are you having unhealthy conflict? Here's what science says.
Nov 1000:25:16Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailThis episode will change how you see conflict.We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.You’ll learn:the Four Horsemen (with real examples)how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuckthe shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healinghow your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversationThis is not about fixing the last fight.This is about changing the next one.If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/Get the book The Next Conversation hereDon't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841Support the showStart your journey to becoming emotionally aware:Step 1: Join our Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcastor visit our website to know which books I will be covering during the next months:https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/Step 2: Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sStep 3: Join our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent or join the next 8 week group cohort (starting in September 2026)https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →Understanding your nervous system in conflict with the authors of Beyond Difficult
Nov 300:36:15Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailIf you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.This episode is not about “how to argue better.”It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…why others shut down to survive the moment…and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.It is about state.Get their new book on Amazon here.Follow Rachel on InstagramFollow Dr. Jessie on InstagramRead our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments hereSupport the showStart your journey to becoming emotionally aware:Step 1: Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sStep 2: Join our Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcastStep 3:Purchase our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent or join the next 8 week group cohort (starting in September 2026)https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →Relational Savoring: The Neuroscience of Calm and Connection
Oct 2700:28:37Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailEver wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate?If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that.Because connection isn’t about perfection — it’s about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion.Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging peopleFollow Rachel SamsonFollow Dr. Jessie SternRead the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioningListen to more podcast episodes:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000681386669Read our blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/23/blog-relational-savoring-building-emotional-connection-with-your-child/Support the showStart your journey to becoming emotionally aware:Step 1: Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sStep 2: Join our Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcastStep 3:Purchase our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent or join the next 8 week group cohort (starting in September 2026)https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →What Many Parents Get Wrong About Toddler Behavior
Oct 2000:51:17Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailIn today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?” then this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and ready for the next tantrum (yes, really).In this episode, you’ll learn:The real reason toddlers have tantrums (and why it’s developmentally healthyWhy “all behavior is communication” — and how to decode what your child is saying through their actionsHow to stay calm and compassionate even when you’re triggeredWhy giving in “just this once” actually leads to more tantrumsWhat to do when your child prefers the other parent — and how to not take it personallyDevon’s 3-ingredient “Recipe for Effective Discipline” that works with every tantrumHow to model emotional regulation — even if you never learned it growing upGet Devon's book here:https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400252954/?bestFormat=true&k=transforming%20toddlerhood%20devon%20kuntzman&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k1_1_9_de&crid=11L8ZPOO86D3&sprefix=devon%20kunFollow her on Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhoodRead our blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/15/a-yale-study-shows-how-a-parents-calm-and-consistency-literally-shape-a-childs-brain/Support the showStart your journey to becoming emotionally aware:Step 1: Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12sStep 2: Join our Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcastStep 3:Purchase our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent or join the next 8 week group cohort (starting in September 2026)https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Or email me info@curiousneuron.com to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
Transcribe →