← Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey
Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey
Ep 1140 | What Christian Men Are Looking for in a Woman | Guest: Timothy Stuckey (Chief Relatabro)
00:55:06
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- [00:02]
A
Remember last year's amazing trip, that cute first birthday party, all those photos, all those memories can be freed from your phone with a Shutterfly photo book. Rediscover and share your favorite moments with those you love. You'll be amazed how easy it is to make a photo book with Shutterfly and enjoy it for years to come. Get 40% off orders over $29 with code pod40shutterfly.com and make something that means something. Today we have a very special Valentine's Day episode with my husband, Chief Relatabro. We are answering your relationship questions and so much more. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good ranchers. Go to good ranchers.com code ally that's good ranchers.com code ally hey guys. Welcome to Relatable. Happy Thursday and Happy almost Valentine's Day. To celebrate the day of love, I am hosting My Love Chief Relatabro on the show today. Timothy, those of you who have been following the show for a long time, you will recognize him and you may even remember the episode that we did together five years ago. I believe it was five years ago when I was pregnant with our oldest and we haven't been on together since then. But he's a. He's a big part of the show and I know that you all have been excited about this, so welcome. CR.
- [01:36]
B
Yeah, thanks. Thanks for having me. My first time on this couch. It's great. Love the studio, love the setup. So it'll be fun.
- [01:43]
A
Thanks. Okay. We have questions to answer, but we will kind of start with just sharing our story and how we met. And some of you probably already know the story, but a lot of you out there don't. So do you. Do you want to start with where we first met?
- [02:00]
B
Sure. Sure. I can start. So a little background. We were living in Athens, Georgia at the time. As has been documented. Neither. We didn't go to the same college. I went to the University of Georgia, but we were both in Athens after school. And it was, it was a great place, place to live. But it's kind of odd that you would both be after graduation from college, living in a college town and having not gone to the same school. And then you would meet your spouse. And so we were, we were working out at the gym that we were both going to at the time. And it was, it was just great just to see her and to kind of. We hit it off right away and started talking and one thing led to another, led to dating and, and then to here we are now. It's Kind of the beginning of it. There's more details within there, but yeah, a little bit.
- [02:49]
A
Yeah, we were it. What you're saying is it's unique because a lot of people who are living in Athens are either like students, they're like grad students. There's just not a lot of people like working professionally in the college town. But we were both working and we met at. It wasn't like an LA fitness type gym. Not that there's anything wrong with meeting at that kind of gym, but it was a gym that had classes and it was kind of like a CrossFit type gym. And so we started taking the same classes. I think we noticed each other. We just started chatting, chatting in class, but then we started chatting after class in the parking lot. We just like stand in the parking lot outside of each other's cars. And then one night we were talking and talking. We, like, we weren't texting or anything outside of this, weren't going on dates. We just started talking and we were talking longer and longer. And one night it was what, like.
- [03:40]
B
It was like four hours. And I think after that time I was like, okay, this has been four hours. We should go on a date. And so that's whenever I got your phone number and was like, we're going to set up a date. And so after that we did. We. We started going on official dates after that. And yeah, it just. It just went from there.
- [03:57]
A
Yeah. And I actually knew before we even went on our date. I think it was the night that we Talked from like 6pm when class was over to 10, just like standing outside of my car, who even knows everything we were talking about. But I left a voicemail, I think, for my friend who's also named Ally. And I said, I know the man that I'm going to marry. And she thought that I was crazy at the time because we weren't even dating yet. But I just. I just knew.
- [04:29]
B
Yeah.
- [04:30]
A
And that's a question that we have is like, how do you know that the person is the one? Like, how did you know that I was the one? So what would you say to that?
- [04:39]
B
Well, a couple things. And going back on your story there, I mean, there's a few things to highlight what our conversations were. I remember the conversations. They were. They were good and they were interesting. But it was a lot along the lines of like, what type of books do you like? What type of things, like, are interesting to you? What kind of gets you going in your brain? And those are the things that kind of Just sparks in your mind and in your heart. Like, this person's different. This person is someone that I want to be with and want to spend more and more time with. And so the fact that those conversations weren't just surface level, they were, you know, for lack of a better word, deep. You know, they were. They were good conversations. And I remember also they were fun, like, trying to get you to, like, some music that I was into and might have swung and missed. You know, some of those songs you probably didn't think were as cool as I thought they were. But, like, you know, we had a good time being around each other and just talking about things that interest us. And fortunately, a lot of our interests aligned, a lot of our background aligned. How we were raised was aligned. And I think just when you know, you know, is kind of a trite saying, but it is true. When you have so many things lined up, you don't need to overthink it. It's like, this person makes me happy. I'm attracted to them. And I just know that the way things are going is different than, you know, any person that I've ever talked to in the past. And it was very clear with you, clear and obvious. And then we were both in a situation where, I mean, we weren't, you know, we were just freshly out of college, so young still, you know, and very young by a lot of the standards of world to be thinking about marriage. But we were both certain that we wanted to get married.
- [06:15]
A
Yeah.
- [06:15]
B
Now, whether it was going to be to each other, we were still figuring that out because we were dating. But it. It became clear quickly. But we were both ready in the sense that we want to find our spouse. We're not just dating for fun. We're not just dating because this is what you do in this stage of life. And, like, let's go see, you know, what kind of fun we can have. We were wanting to have fun, but wanting for the ultimate goal of finding your spouse. And I think you have to pair the mindset of knowing that you are ready personally to get married with. Does this person match that? And you really don't need to overthink it. It's just like, this person makes me happy. This person is a Christian. This person. I can see their heart and their desire for the Lord, and you just. You just go from there.
- [06:59]
A
Quick pause for our first sponsor for the day, and that is Hillsdale. We talked about Hillsdale last week. Their awesome response to another Christian university caving taking back their celebration of an alumnus who Joined the Trump administration. Hillsdale College said, nope, we are not going to retract our congratulations of this person because Hillsdale is not woke. Hillsdale is actually Christian. They actually stand by their biblical values. They are unapologetically pro America, pro Constitution, and you can see that in everything they do, including their curriculum. We know that the university system, unfortunately, even professing Christian universities that they so often espouse far left progressive values. And you might even be skeptical about sending your child to college at all. But if you want to make sure that you send your kids to a college that is actually continuing to instill in your child the principles with which you raise them, then you need to check out Hillsdale also. They have 40 online free courses for you to take. So this would be a really great way for you to check them out and see what they're about and also learn something. I love C.S. lewis. He's been a big part of my faith journey. And they have this course that is just about CS Lewis and his books, and it's really illuminating. They also have Introduction to Aristotle's Ethics, how to Lead a Good Life. They've got a course on the stories in the book of Genesis. So much check them out. Go to Hillsdale Edu Relatable. There's no cost. It's easy to get started. Hillsdale Edu Relatable. I just remember before I met Timothy when people would say, oh, when, you know, you know, like, I would talk to married couples in their 20s or I had some families who mentored me through college. And when I was like, trying to figure out, how do you know the person that you're supposed to marry? And they would just say that. I heard it from so many people when, you know, you know, and I was like, that's so frustrating because I have, like, all of this on paper and I'm thinking about this, about my life, and I just don't know. But then I met Timothy and I was like, oh, oh, I get it now. And I understand if you're listening to this and you're dating or you're single and you're thinking, well, that is really frustrating because you're not putting anything. You're not giving me, like a tangible checklist. Of course, Christian, strong Christian, growing in their faith. You. I think it's important to know, like, what their family background is, what their friends say about them, how do they handle different, you know, things in their life, how do they handle adversity, how do they handle inconvenience? There are a lot of different things that I think that you can look at. But at the end of the day, feelings do matter. They're not the only thing that matters, but they do matter and they're important. And I think that that click, whatever you want to call it, whether it's the Holy Spirit discernment or whether it's just like this knowledge, this love for this attraction for this person, I think the combination of the checklist of is this a righteous person walking with the Lord and the attraction and the clicking, I think both of those things are really important. Some people would say that the emotion, the clicking, it doesn't really matter. But gosh, I am so thankful that I found the person that I just like click with. And I would just, personally, I would encourage people not to settle for the person that you're thinking in the back of your mind like, oh, they're great on paper. Why don't I feel like this is my future spouse? Why can't I picture myself forever with them? My personal perspective is that you shouldn't be with that person because there's something there that's telling you it's not right.
- [10:55]
B
Do you like the person? Do you like them? Do you like being around them? You don't want to force yourself to love someone. And, and we were truly blessed. We were truly blessed that we had, that we had somebody that we both liked and loved and that, you know, we were ready to go and we knew that. And so it is, it is something that you do need to take seriously and that you do need to really focus on the things that matter. And then on the other side, do we enjoy each other? And fortunately we do because that gets you through a lot of things. Like marriage is hard, especially we're almost at our 10 year mark and you know, you get five, six, seven years in, things are harder. You might have kids in the mix as well. Do you like being around the person? Do you like them? Really helps. And it goes a long way outside of obviously our covenantal marriage. Like we have that, that we are with each other no matter what. But in the day, do you like the person or not?
- [11:53]
A
And it really helps. It helps a lot because you will go through difficult seasons. Like we have three kids and we love, genuinely love being parents and like spending time with our kids. Both of us value quality time so much. But everyone knows those baby and toddler years are hard, especially when you're adjusting to less sleep and more responsibility and more noise. Like, we sometimes look back and we think about the time like right before we had kids, you had a work schedule where you didn't have to work on Wednesdays for some reason. And we would literally just like, take our dog and walk to the neighborhood pool with like a cooler full of sandwiches. And we're like, what? And we were probably stressed and probably thought we had so much going on. Oh, yeah. But so many, I mean, so many different seasons. I would never wish to go back to that season, even though it was, like, beautiful at the time. And we did so much like that we just loved and had fun with. But now our lives are so much richer. And now that we work together full time, I would say that's added another level of appreciation, wouldn't you?
- [13:00]
B
Absolutely. And it goes back to something that both of our parents have told us in context of having kids, is to enjoy each season of life. So we enjoy each season of life that your kids are the newborn stage, toddler stage, and then we haven't gotten here yet, but whenever they get older, enjoy that still. My parents tell me, you know, we're still having fun with the fact that y'all are adults and you'll have kids now. This is great. We love, you know, every season of kid. Of having every season of a kid's life. And the same goes with marriage, too. Love every season of it. Enjoy it. You're going to be newlywed. That's going to feel awesome. And it's a great season. You can do fun things like walk down to your favorite restaurant at 8pm on a Thursday or go to, you know, the pool in the middle of the day on a Wednesday, because your job schedule is flexible that day. Like I had whenever I had those Wednesdays off. So those are fun things that you can do kind of carefree. But then you have the joy of welcoming in your children into the world and bringing them along for the ride, too. And every stage of marriage is something that you can cherish. And it's not easy. Nothing in this life is supposed to be easy. But we have joy in it because we have the ultimate joy in Christ. And then we have the joy in doing it together with each other. And that reminds me of something else about when, you know, you know, when you're ready to get married, like, you don't need to overthink that either. It's like if you were both stable, if you were both adults, if you were both in Christ, then that's a good time for you. You to get started and for you to get going. You don't have to wait until you're further along. In your career, you don't have to wait until something else happens. Do it together. Enjoy the ride together. And I think that's a big thing of what we did, too, is that we just kind of got started. We weren't making a ton of money, if anything. Like, we were just at our first jobs out of college, and we took the ride together.
- [14:47]
A
You would probably laugh if you knew what we were. What, our salary.
- [14:50]
B
Yeah. If you knew that. And then also what we were living on, though. I mean, we were basically glorified college students. I mean, our apartment was in the middle of college.
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A
Students lived in a triplex.
- [15:01]
B
Yeah. In a triplex.
- [15:03]
A
Our laundry unit was in our kitchen. Like, actually, like, I think that you're thinking, our laundry room was by the kitchen. No, our. Our washer and dryer were right next.
- [15:12]
B
To our refrigerator, stacked on top of each other.
- [15:14]
A
Yeah. And we decided that would be a good time to get a cat.
- [15:17]
B
Yeah, it was a great time. So. Yeah. So doing that part of life together, just taking on the challenges together, I think only made it even better, because now we're taking on this new challenge, this new endeavor of running our own business and raising kids, and it's a fun ride to take. Yeah.
- [15:35]
A
And our lives have changed so much since we first got started. Neither of us were doing the thing that we wanted to do long term, but neither of us knew what. What we wanted to do long term. I wasn't doing anything like this. I didn't. You know, I started my blog, Conservative Millennial, in, I guess, 2015, but that was after we got married, so. And I had no even inkling of what it would look like. And, you know, you didn't want to do mortgages forever, and you had no idea what that would look like. And we just kind of, like, I don't know, we just went for it. And then when you decided to apply for jobs that moved us to a new city, I had no idea what I was going to do. And so there were a lot of leaps of faith over the past 10 years.
- [16:23]
B
Absolutely. I think moving out and doing what. What we did to take a job somewhere else, to get us into a bigger city with more opportunities, was. Was a leap of faith. And it has worked out very well. And during that time, I was able to work and to have that job, which was a great job at a great company for me to have at the time, and it allowed you to be able to kind of, you know, what does this look like for me to make videos and to write?
- [16:51]
A
I didn't even apply for jobs.
- [16:53]
B
Yeah, you didn't have a job formally, you know, while we were doing that and that was a great season to where I could just do that and I could focus on getting, you know, all my whatever I needed to get done, whether it was licenses or continuing education or other, you know, things going. And you were able to just figure out, you know, what this would look like.
- [17:11]
A
We lived with my brother.
- [17:12]
B
We lived with your brother for a little bit.
- [17:13]
A
He was very generous to allow us and our cat, Rachel McAdams, who has since passed. Yeah, well, we don't know. She could be living her best life with her family. She did run away. It's really sad. But yeah, we lived with my brother at the time. So another just like very, very different time in our lives. And that was the time that I, through so many different, just providential moments got led to the blaze at the time. And I was exploring that while you were working. But yeah, it's just hard to believe that that was what, like nine years ago we were living with my brother, no kids, still trying to figure out what we're going to do.
- [17:54]
B
Yeah, absolutely. It's been quite, quite the journey since. And you know, it doesn't feel like that long ago, but it doesn't come.
- [18:00]
A
Along, but at the same time it feels like multiple lifetimes ago.
- [18:04]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [18:09]
A
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- [19:36]
B
Okay.
- [19:37]
A
But I think you and I might have differing opinions on this. So we dated for four months and we were engaged for five months, Right? Or was it the opposite?
- [19:49]
B
I always get confused, but I think it was nine total months. I think it was five and four.
- [19:53]
A
We knew each other. I think we first saw each other, maybe met each other in August of 2014, got married September 2015. And so I used to always say, yeah, you know what? When you know, you know, just go ahead and get married. I still think that about engagement. I don't think that people should be engaged for a long time, especially if you're Christians, you're trying to wait till marriage. Like, I don't think you should put yourself through that. There's no. You can plan a wedding in four months. You don't need a full year to plan a wedding. You just don't. That's my opinion on that. Dating. While I do not regret how we did it as individuals, I would not go back and change that because it worked out for us. And we, like, were so ready to get engaged and get married. However, like, in principle, in principle, if I were just to give blanket advice to someone and I don't know all of their circumstances, I think my general, general rule, okay, and the Internet does not like in principle or in general, because they'll be like, but I. Okay, hear me when I say those specifications. I would say one year. Date. Date for one year. Go through all seasons of the year. This is not novel advice. You've probably heard this from plenty of people before, but I feel like within Christian circles, they're like, no, two weeks is fine. I think one year. See how they are in different circumstances. How do they deal with inconvenience? How do they deal with frustration, with disappointment, with rejection? In different ways. How do they go through trials? What are their relationships like? I think that in principle, it is really good to see those different facets of a person before you get engaged. And I think in general, a year is probably a good time frame for that. What do you think?
- [21:42]
B
Well, I haven't thought about it too much, but my first thought would be thinking about the people would be like, oh, no, don't say in general or don't get specific. So it'll be like, okay, well, if it's not a full Year, it's probably okay. You know, it depends on the actual circumstance of the couple, like how ready are you? Maybe you've met later in life, maybe you're in your mid-30s or your 40s or whenever it is, and you know, you know, and y'all are both ready to get started making a family, doing all the things that you need to do together. I don't know. I wouldn't wait some arbitrarily number of. Of months. Not that that's arbitrary necessarily, but I would say, you know, if you are. If you are certain you've already, you know, you've already played the game out in your head, you know what you need to do. Maybe. Maybe that's not the case. But, yeah, sure, if you're younger and you were. You were still trying to figure each other out, your frontal lobe isn't even fully developed yet. Maybe you do want to take a little bit more time and to understand this person through different seasons and through different moments and how they do handle. Handle adversity in certain ways. So I think there could be some wisdom in that, too. So, yeah, I think that could be wise.
- [22:47]
A
Yeah. Okay. I love this question because I've said this before, and I'm sure they would love to hear what you think is the phrase. If he wanted to, he would always. True. When it comes to guys and dating.
- [23:01]
B
Again, we're talking about always and saying all these things. I can't speak to every particular circumstance, but I do think. I know for me personally, that I could not, you know, really. We maxed out the amount of time that I could go, like, not married to you. Like, we were so excited, so ready. And I do think, like, I knew and I'm ready to go. And if he's not ready to commit, then he might not want to ever commit. So I do think there's some validity to that in a way that, you know, it's been. It's been years. You are, you know, living your life, whether it's together or whether it's. I don't know your exact circumstance, but if he was ready to go, he would be ready to go. Now, that might not be you personally. That might be his personal situation. Maybe he is still, you know, maybe he's trying to put together some things, starting a business or has a certain, you know, level of his job. Now. I do think still there's some validity just doing it together. But maybe he is trying to line some things up to make sure that he can be the husband and the provider for you. That he needs to be. But I do think there is some validity, too. If he was ready to. If he was ready to be married to you, he would be married to you.
- [24:05]
A
Yeah. So that's the answer. And like, the bigger ultimate question of committing. Like, if he wanted to, he would commit. I say, like, again, in general, that is true. If he wants to be married to you, everything else can fall into place, but he knows that you are the biggest piece to fall into place. And he's. He knows he's got to make that happen before everything else. Like, that's my view. But what about the smaller things? Like the. If he wanted to text you back quickly, he would. If he wanted to show you thoughtful romance on Valentine's Day, he would. I say, if he. If he really wanted to, he would do those things. Other people might say, well, that's not fair. He's not thinking. You know, maybe he just wasn't thinking. Or maybe she didn't lay out her expectations enough. Or maybe he's busy. Like, I think those are all excuses. If he wanted to, he would.
- [25:04]
B
Yeah.
- [25:04]
A
Do you think I should give the benefit of the doubt more to. To guys who maybe aren't measuring up in the dating game?
- [25:12]
B
I do think there is some validity to that. Like, if he wanted to sweep you off your feet, then he would. If he really, genuinely wanted to do that, I do think he would. I mean, I was very thoughtful in the things I think I was thoughtful. I tried to be thoughtful because I wanted to impress you. If he was trying to impress you, then he would. Men have a way of getting the things that they want and what they really have set their minds to. And I do think that if you are trying to get something that you want, like, if you're trying to get a spouse, a wife, then you're kind of. You're going to go pursue it and you're going to go do it. And I do think that men have a unique way, a particular way of getting the things that they want, whether it's conscious or subconscious. So, yeah, if he wanted to. Now, maybe his. Maybe he's just not thinking correctly. He's like, oh, this is what she actually wants. She wants me to be kind of.
- [25:58]
A
You know, play hard to get.
- [26:00]
B
Play hard to get and all this stuff. Then I do think you've kind of been warped by the culture. I think women want to be pursued and go do it, man.
- [26:06]
A
Yeah. And you should also, as a woman, like, be pursuable. I do think. And this kind of leads to another question. I think there is even in today's girl boss culture. And obviously, I am a, like, strong, opinionated person. And, yeah, I would say you can tell me from a guy's perspective that there is a softness that men are looking for in the girls they want to marry. It doesn't mean that they have to be pushovers. The girls have to be like, you know, just wallflowers or a doormat. But they're looking for a bit of gentleness, a bit of softness, a bit of just, like, femininity that there is, I would say, like, I think the, like, girl boss. Harsh. I don't need no man, but secretly I do want a guy to be chivalrous and pursue me. That could possibly put guys in, like, a really difficult position. He might be, like, physically attracted to a girl and want to pursue her, but she's put off this Persona of, like, I don't need you. That is intimidating and he doesn't know how to navigate.
- [27:14]
B
Yeah. And I want to be clear that I think it goes. I think there's two types that it can go that way with. Maybe this girl boss attitude of, like, I don't need anybody, and you're shut down that way. There's also the timidity factor, too, of like, you are shut down in general. Maybe it's not just amenities to everyone. Maybe you are quiet and more timid and putting off, whether you intend to or not, an attitude that just doesn't want to be approached. And I think now, whenever. Whenever I was pursuing you, you were. That you had that feminine playfulness almost. You know, you were like, you were open to having conversation. And that would be your personality, because you're open to having conversation with anyone, whether it was, in our case, romantic or not. But you were friendly. And there is a friendliness of, you know, I think that women have in particular, that men might not.
- [28:03]
A
Flirtatious.
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B
It's a little flirtatious, but you're friendly and you're open to having conversation in general. I think for a lot of people, for all people, having an openness to having conversation with people is a good thing. But in particular, whenever you're trying to be, whether it's pursued by a man, in this particular instance, like, you were. You were agreeable to having a conversation with me. And I think that was the first step into me being like, oh, I can now pursue her. It doesn't mean that you were, you know, that you were taking the lead, that you were trying to get me or any of that stuff, but you were in General open to, you know, being friendly. Hi, how are you? Remembered that my birthday was over the weekend. Little things like that that do add up to allowing a man to feel like he has the permission to really pursue you in a full, you know, throated way. Like, I'm actually going to go and pursue this woman for an intention of dating and then potentially marriage. So, yeah, yeah, I do think that there is a. The standoffishness does not play well with wanting to be pursued. A man doesn't want to. Not that you're feeling rejection necessarily, but it's just, it's. It's not something that you would want to go and pursue. Something that is clearly shut off to you.
- [29:19]
A
Yeah, I, I think that's like a good point, if I can, if I do say so myself, about how to like, show your interest in a guy without becoming the pursuer is like, when I remembered your birthday, he had told me, like, you know, just like an offhand remark, I think, a couple weeks earlier, oh, yeah, my birthday is October 19th, I'm turning 24, blah, blah, blah. And that was it. And, you know, we didn't talk about it, but then the Monday after I knew it, you know, I tracked it, I remembered it in my mind. And the Monday after his birthday, I said, oh, like, how was going home to your family? How was your birthday? And he was flattered that I remembered his birthday. And that was just like my way of saying, hey, like, our conversations are important to me. I. They're not just something that I am, you know, doing subconsciously because I'm friendly with everyone. But I remember remembering what you're saying because I'm interested in you as a person. I think little things like that open guys up to saying, oh, like, okay, this person really likes me.
- [30:23]
B
It gives permission. It gives permission to the man in that instance without you being the one that is doing the pursuing. So it's not allowing you. You weren't the one taking now the lead role there, but you were giving me permission basically to enter into that. Because now I'm seeing, oh, what I say has weight. What I say, she hears and she responds well to. And so now I can go and continue to try to have more conversations. I think there was a basically of like, is it okay for a woman to pursue a man? I think what we're answering here and what I'm answering is, is it depends on what your idea of pursuit is. Like, you weren't pursuing me in that instance, but you were open to giving me hints that I picked up Subconsciously and consciously. Okay, now I have permission basically to go and try to do this. Not that, you know, it's more of like a confidence to a man. Now this is going to potentially go somewhere, and now I'm going to go do that. And so it's not you taking the lead and trying to get me. It is me. Now I'm still trying to. To pursue you. I just know that it's working. And so I think there are certain ways that you can let a man know that things are working and for him to keep going without. Without being the one that's pursuing and without, you know, hitting them upside the head and being like, hey, dummy, come ask me out.
- [31:39]
A
Yeah. And if you have to do that, if you have to say, hey, dummy, come ask me out, he's probably not there. Not the one. Not the one.
- [31:50]
B
All right, I get to do my first ad read. And our next sponsor is We Heart Nutrition, the absolute best place to get women's vitamins and now men's vitamins as well, for all ages. So the owners are Jacob and Kristen, a pro life couple with five kids. They share the same values as you and me, and they donate 10% of every purchase you make with them to pregnancy care centers. So I have been taking their new men's vitamins. I have their multivitamin for men. I have their magnesium glycinate, and I think that they are great. So I have been. I've used supplements for quite some time now. And then whenever I started taking We Heart Nutrition, I could tell just a difference that these things are. They're getting me what I need. Like, I'm feeling a little bit more energy. I'm feeling a little bit more pepping my step some, and it really gets me the support I need. So I miss sometimes getting every micronutrient, whether that's through not eating enough vegetables or fruits or otherwise. So I like having a multivitamin. A multivitamin makes sure that I get all those bases covered. And then magnesium as well. Magnesium has so many health benefits and I like the glycinate form because it is a little bit better on the absorption, doesn't hurt your stomach, and it's a little bit easier on you. So magnesium glycinate and the multivitamin have been very great for me. They also have an omega supplement as well, Omega 3, which has a good proportion of both types of fatty acids that you need when it comes to the Omega 3s, so been great supplements for me. I very much enjoyed them. All their products Also come with a 60 day happy heart guarantee. So if for any reason you don't love the products, you can return them even if the bottle is empty. And right now, with your very first order placed at $50 or more, you will receive their signature bamboo capsule bottle box for free. It's beautiful. Makes remembering to take your vitamins easy. It's easy to travel with, and that's what we do. Throw the the travel box in the bag and then you have all your supplements ready for you to go. So if you're not sure exactly what you need, they do have a 20 second quiz on their site where you can get personalized recommendations. Head on over to their website, weheartnutrition.com and use code ALI for 20 off your order. That's weheartnutrition.com code alley.
- [34:09]
A
Okay, who has the bigger sweet tooth between the two of you, me or you? It's me.
- [34:17]
B
Yeah, it's you. I was gonna say, like, who needs sweets like more frequently, but like me. Yeah, it is you. I think I could eat more sweets at one time than you, but doubt. But yeah, you probably have the.
- [34:28]
A
I don't believe that. No, you're more of like, you want to snack on chips.
- [34:33]
B
Chips and salsa more and then get in like a bad loop of like piece of chocolate chips. Chocolate chips.
- [34:39]
A
Hey, we don't need to talk bad about ourselves right now. That's not what this is about. No, but I have more of a weakness of a sweet tooth. I get it. Honest. I literally have it passed down to me from my grandmother who was appalled. My mom always tells the story that she was appalled when my mom told her that my brother at 2 years old had never had eminent. She thought she probably wanted to call cps, like, this is key to a person's diet. So sweet tooth. Get it from my grandma and my dad and I have also passed it down to my children. So I have the bigger sweet tooth. Let's see, I'm trying to find another, like, shorter, shorter question. What books are you reading right now? Besides Toxic Empathy, which you just always have on the loop.
- [35:29]
B
It's always playing in the background. One book that you got me, I believe it was like Christmas. Or. No, I just asked you to pick up a book at Barnes and Noble because you were there with one of our kids.
- [35:40]
A
He said, pick up a book that looks interesting to me.
- [35:42]
B
Yeah. And you picked up Shelby Foote's first. The first book in his little Civil War anthology. And it is good. Now I've taken a little pause for A few weeks on it, but I did. I have read a pretty good chunk into that. And it's interesting, you know, I'm at that age that every man gets where you start, you know, reading about some war, whether it's the civil Vietnam, World War II. Right now it's the Civil War for me.
- [36:08]
A
Yeah. You really like war books?
- [36:10]
B
Yeah.
- [36:11]
A
Okay. What has Allie done? I promise I did not write these questions. What has Allie done that you're most proud of? There's a lot of questions about me in here. Just as a heads up, share the arrows.
- [36:24]
B
For sure. I was proud of that whenever we were booking the venue and walking out on stage and I was just.
- [36:32]
A
Besides giving birth, by the way.
- [36:34]
B
Oh, yeah, yeah. The question was specific. Besides birth and marriage. Yeah, yeah. So walking out on stage whenever it was empty. We were just touring the venue spot and I was just thinking about it being full. So that. That made me very proud, being able to walk out on that stage, see, you know, audience full of women that were all there live. It was one thing. I know you get a ton of viewers and listeners and very proud of the show, too. But to see it all live, that people come physically to gather, that was what I've been most proud of, is share the arrows and can't wait for this year.
- [37:10]
A
Yeah, me too. What is it like having this says. I don't like using this word, but this says famous. Famous wife. Okay. What is it like having a wife that has a podcast? I'll say that.
- [37:25]
B
Yeah. And that gets recognized whenever we go out sometimes. So I would say it is. You get really good at taking pictures. At least I think I'm decent at it now because I've had so much practice, so, you know, just letting people line up. And it's always really nice whenever people say, oh, no, like. Like, do you mind? It's like, this is what I'm here for. Like, I'm ready to take this picture.
- [37:46]
A
Sometimes I want to take a picture with you sometimes. Remember that time that you were traveling by yourself without me and someone recognized you as chief related bro and asked to take a picture with you?
- [37:54]
B
I do remember that time, and I don't think I took the picture. And I'm sorry to that person. I think going back, maybe I would change the. And maybe take the picture. But I was out from a work trip. It was late at night, my flight had been delayed, and I was ready to get home. And. And I'm sorry. I should have taken the picture.
- [38:10]
A
Yeah. People ask a lot. Do people recognize you? And it's not like, obviously it's not like everywhere I go, I get swarmed with people. It's not that, but I would say multiple times a week. Yes. But it depends on where I am. If I'm in an area that's obviously a more conservative area. It happens a lot.
- [38:27]
B
Yeah. Like what you said the other day on your show about the Nate Bragazzi show, like, that was. That was a lot of people. It was a big process.
- [38:33]
A
I felt like I was like the opener and that there were people lined up to. To see me. And that was fun. But, yeah, obviously if I'm like, in New York City, it doesn't happen as much. What advice do you have for girl dads?
- [38:48]
B
Oh, to enjoy it. I mean, girls are so sweet and they are so cute and whenever they want to dress up, just dress them up. Like, get a bunch of princess dresses and a bunch of costume jewelry and just.
- [39:01]
A
And a bunch of fake makeup.
- [39:02]
B
And a bunch of fake makeup and just let them go and have your wife, you know, like doll them up in the makeup and all that. And then you just go out and.
- [39:09]
A
Tell them, stage we're in. Yeah.
- [39:11]
B
And just go out and tell them how beautiful they are.
- [39:12]
A
And it is really sweet. Whenever. They always want me, especially our middle. She just loves me putting makeup on her. And so I'll put makeup on them. And the first person they want to see them is daddy. Where's Daddy? Where's Daddy? And they just want to show. They just like want to show daddy that they're in a princess dress and they walk out all bashful. I mean, it really is. It sounds like a caricature of what it's like having girls, but that is what our life is like.
- [39:39]
B
It is. So just enjoy that. Get really good at just compliments in ways that a three year old can understand. That you're just so impressed. That would be my, My first advice is that they're going to be just beautiful little princesses.
- [39:55]
A
Yeah. We have. And you know, we have a lot of nephews and genuinely, all of our nieces and nephews are just like great kids and just like their parents are awesome and they're just all great kids and I just love them. All our nephews are like, you know, they're boys, they're more rambunctious, they play totally differently. And when I'm around my nephews, I'm like, wow, this is really different. The noise level, the smell, the everything. Everything is so different than having girls. And like, they're so many, like Pros for both and so much different kinds of fun for both. But like, our house is just like a very typical girl house. And he was like, maybe one day we'll also have a boy. But like, you were made to be a girl, dad. You're a great, great girl, dad.
- [40:45]
B
Thanks.
- [40:47]
A
Let's see. What is your favorite memory with me besides getting married and besides the birth of our three children?
- [40:57]
B
Yeah, I really, really look back very fondly at now. It's obvious be like, oh, newlywed was really great, but like the fact that we were in. We were in Athens, Georgia, It's a college town. And like just living life like we had responsibilities and we took them seriously, but basically like we were in college still in a fun way of like being able to walk randomly to our favorite restaurants and to, you know, just go to football games. That was a really fun and sweet time and very unique. I don't think a lot of people do get the opportunity to live in a college town as not as awesome as Athens and to be married to, you know, to the brand new wife. Like, that's a really sweet, precious time that we had. And I really think back fondly on that. Yeah, I think of a lot of our kind of just the travel and the. In the trips that we took. We also took a trip to San Francisco. That's what I was thinking before we had our oldest. And it was actually like when we got home. You found out you were pregnant.
- [42:01]
A
Yeah, well, actually I was thinking of the time we went to San Francisco before that with Granddaddy.
- [42:05]
B
Oh, yeah. That was a lot of fun too. You used to go to San Francisco and it wasn't just like complete degeneracy and literal human waste on the street. And so it was a great place and a great city. And I think it was really.
- [42:19]
A
We haven't been there since 2018.
- [42:22]
B
We have not. But yeah, that trip, the triple grenade was good. And the second trip also was very good just because it was, it was fun. I remember going down to where the Giants play baseball and just walking around like there was no game or anything going on that day, but just kind of hanging out around, around there was just a lot of. A lot of fun.
- [42:41]
A
Yeah, we did a lot of little things like that. And like, we didn't go on any fancy trips or anything because we didn't have any money. But yeah, just the freedom that you have. And obviously having kids is something to look forward to and it's not something to put off. But just know that if you're Married now and you don't have kids. You have, like, get as much sleep as you can, do as much as you can. Doesn't have to cost a lot of money. You don't have to go on a trip to Europe or maybe you can afford to do that and you should. That's awesome. But, like, get those memories in, lay a really good foundation before you have kids because it'll be a little bit not. I mean, it's not like you won't have fun. It's not like you won't have adventures, but it'll be a little bit before you have that freedom and flexibility again.
- [43:23]
B
And they're not gonna be the same trips. They're gonna be great. But, you know, either your kids are gonna be with you or you're gonna be thinking about them, which is great, but you're still gonna be having something going on in your head about them because you have humans that you take care of now that you love with everything in your whole body. And so, yeah, enjoy, like, yeah, enjoy.
- [43:44]
A
The freedom and the flexibility while you can. Last break to tell you about the next installment in BlazeTV host Matt Kibbe's new documentary documentary series called the COVID Up. The COVID up is about the US Government covering up the corruption in our public health apparatus. You know that Fauci is a part of this corruption, but you might not know how far back his corruption goes. And that is why Matt Kibbe is talking in this latest episode to Dr. Richard Ebright. He is a molecular biologist from Rutgers University. He's had Fauci on his radar since 2001 during the anthrax scare, after which Dick Cheney empowered Fauci and the NIA Niaid with the authority and funding for biodefense once reserved solely for the Department of Defense. And you probably don't even know the horrific effects that that empowerment has had over the past couple decades. But none of this has been a surprise to Dr. Ebright. And what he tells Matt Kibbe is absolutely stunning. So if you want to be a part of exposing this corruption and really making a change, you need to subscribe to Blaze TV. Fauci coverup.com ally use code Smoking Gun. For $30 off your subscription, you'll get access to all Blaze TV content. Fauci coverup.Com ally code Smoking Gun okay, what are your thoughts on the. So Luca is the. This is a real question that we got. Is the Mavs player that just got traded? And here's one thing about me. I don't know if y'all know this. Timothy can. Can say this. I can get interested in anything. Like, Timothy wants to turn on a documentary, or he's like, you know, I want to start watching this guy on, like, YouTube or, like, oh, let's start learning about fly fishing. He wants to watch a UFC fight. Like, I can get. I can get into and interested in, like, anything. That probably also helped my game when we were dating, too, but I was, like, really interested in learning about. I'm, like, not really a basketball fan or really a sports fan at all, but I knew people were super disappointed that this guy named Luca. I hear he's tall and good at basketball. He got traded from the Mavs, and people were like, why the heck would the Mavs trade him? So, like, can you tell us what you think about that? Because I guess the people want to know.
- [46:30]
B
Okay, yeah, that's a great question. And backing up a little bit, too, just about being interested and all that you are. Somebody asked, what's one of the traits that you like the most about Ally? And it is genuinely your curiosity. You will sit down and be interested. And I'm not the same way. I might be interested in what I'm interested in, but I'm not interested in things necessarily for the sake of being interested. You are. You will find something you don't know and just take it and be like, this is really cool. Whether it's like watching some dude teach you how to, you know, do exercises and meal prep, or if it's fly fishing, like you said.
- [47:04]
A
Wait, remember when I tried to learn the banjo the other night without a banjo?
- [47:09]
B
Yeah. Yeah. We watched some YouTube videos on banjo, and I was like, we don't even have a banjo.
- [47:13]
A
I know you intervened at that point because I was trying to, like, air guitar, the banjo, and you were like, stop it. We don't have a banjo. You're not gonna do this right now.
- [47:24]
B
Yeah.
- [47:24]
A
So it's even to a fault sometimes. My interest. My errant interest.
- [47:28]
B
So I do appreciate that about you, how you are interested even in sports, even in listening to my sports takes. So the Luca trade. I'm not a huge NBA fan. I like watching sports and I follow sports. I like college basketball, but I don't really watch a ton of the NBA. But you know, the local team and you're trying to watch the Mavs. It's sad. It's sad that they traded away Luka. Like, how do you trade away a top five player in the NBA in his prime? Not even in his prime yet. He's 25 years old. He's been in the league for five years, and he's made the All NBA team. All NBA means that you're the best player at your position, and you're literally one of the five best players in the league. And he's made that every year that he's been in the league. And you just don't get a player like that and get rid of them. You build your franchise around that type of player. You don't just trade them. And what they got back in return is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. What they got back in return.
- [48:23]
A
What did they get?
- [48:24]
B
They got an aging former superstar in Anthony Davis. And then some other small pieces.
- [48:29]
A
Is that the guy with the eyebrows?
- [48:30]
B
Yeah, yeah. And some other small pieces and maybe a couple draft picks. But, like, they could have gotten way more. They could have gotten a king's ransom for him, and they barely got, you know, anything. And so it brings up the conspiracy theories. And I'm all for your conspiracy theory. So if you have a theory or somebody like your husband has a theory, you want to send our way, just like I want to hear all the theories, because I cannot believe that is a pure basketball move that they got rid of Luca. So I've heard great things.
- [48:57]
A
Tell us the theory.
- [48:58]
B
I've heard things about it potentially being, you know, new owners of the Mavs, they really want to bring sports betting into Texas. The legislature, I believe it's the Adelsons, and I believe it's from Las Vegas Sands. If that's not the case, then please correct me or disregard. Take it out. So they are trying to bring sports betting into the state of Texas. The legislature of Texas has fortunately kept that from happening. And so there's some conspiracies around, like maybe potential sabotage. It's like, okay, if we sabotage the team, then maybe they will allow us to move the team to Vegas because enough of the fans will get angry. And then Vegas, obviously.
- [49:38]
A
Move the Mavs to Vegas?
- [49:39]
B
Yeah, move the Mavs to Vegas.
- [49:41]
A
Oh, see, that's the missing piece that I did not realize.
- [49:44]
B
The Mavs to Vegas, and then there would be a new team that would take over for them in Dallas. But the team that owns the current ownership would move their team to Dallas or put their thumb on the scales enough to try to try to get sports betting legal in Texas. And I just. My other take, kind of my old man yells at clouds, which I don't think is really that. I think it's a true take on sports betting is that it's just. I don't like it. I don't like it for a few reasons. The morality of it, I don't like that. I think that it's wrong morally and against what we should be doing as Christians. But then also I do believe as well that there's some other consequences both for the culture and how we're allowing this type of behavior, this. Allowing this type of risky gambling or whatever to take place. You have families being destroyed because of it, because you're overextending yourself. You might make the argument, oh, it's just like having any other type of entertainment or any other type of fun, but for a lot of people, it's not like that. A lot of people can't control it. And so I do think that we have laws around certain moralities for particular reasons. And so I do think that sports betting is something that is pretty detrimental to society. And then the third thing is that it warps sports media. I used to really enjoy being able to turn on SportsCenter and just watch sports and watch the analysts talk about the game, but now it's all from the betting lens. It's like, what props do we have coming up? Or what's the line on the current game and how can we bet this and all this stuff? And I want my sports podcast to just be, you know, talk about the game, talk about what's going on. I used to watch SportsCenter, you know, as every kid, every, you know, boy growing up in the 90s. Like, I used to watch it for. In the summer, like, for four times. Like, you would just keep on playing, and I would watch it every time. And now SportsCenter is basically unwatchable. They have their own, you know, betting that they have to do and betting app that they have to promote. And so I think there's a lot of ways that it has warped the sports media and has changed the way that. That, you know, we kind of consume sports. And as somebody that consumes a lot of sports, I don't really like that. And so that's.
- [51:45]
A
Yeah, that's my take. I just think it's degenerate and it takes, like, the pure fun.
- [51:50]
B
Yeah.
- [51:51]
A
Out of sports. As someone who, like, doesn't know that much about sports, I totally agree with you. And plus, I just don't like degeneracy. I feel like it is like walking to a city and smelling weed. You're like, the city is still great, just like basketball is still great or baseball is still great. But now it's just got this stench that just kind of Ruins it always in the background. That's kind of what sports betting is.
- [52:12]
B
And there's an obvious take, too, that you can just think, oh, how will this affect the outcome of games? How will this affect players? How will this affect coaches, referees? And, you know, you'll have the proponents of sports betting saying, oh, no, it doesn't. It doesn't affect that the outcomes of the game will be the same. Don't worry about that. Well, literally, there have been professional basketball players that has been betting on games to the point to where he would go in at halftime. And so he was a role player, so he didn't play that much. But so, like, he would be able to tell his buddies, you know, put in a bet, hey, the coach isn't going to put me back in the second half. And so bet the under. So, meaning I think that he would score fewer than a certain amount of points. Bet the under on my point total because I'm not going back out. And so there was. You could see there's these huge influxes of cash on this player's particular prop. He's a player that's not getting a lot of minutes. So it's like, why is this person getting a lot of bets put on him? You know, it makes sense for people to bet on LeBron James because he plays almost every minute of the game. But this guy, why would you bet on what he's going to do? And so it turns out it was him, you know, kind of maybe directing his buddies and other things. And so that takes away the legitimacy of the game. Umpire for MLB just got fired because he was sharing a betting account with another buddy. And basically he was saying that he didn't bet on his games, but the account that he shared, admittedly did bet on the games. This guy was umpiring. So that affects the outcome of games, too.
- [53:32]
A
Yeah.
- [53:33]
B
So as a sports purist as well, there's. There's that side of it, too.
- [53:36]
A
Yeah. So just makes it feel fake.
- [53:39]
B
Yeah.
- [53:39]
A
We're anti degeneracy. Okay, that's it. That was our last question. Is there anything else that we didn't cover that we want to say for a Valentine's Day episode?
- [53:52]
B
No. I don't know if I didn't get to. Since I talked a lot about sports. Sports betting. Luca trade devastating.
- [53:58]
A
I wish that, but, you know, it didn't happen. I wish that it didn't happen in some. Marriage is good.
- [54:04]
B
Yeah.
- [54:05]
A
And marriage is fun. And having kids and having family is fun. Don't let anyone tell you any different. And, yeah, you get to grow with the person and don't settle for anything less than the person that you truly want to grow old with. Also the person that's following Christ, but the person that you really like and love. And I'm just very thankful this Valentine's Day and every Valentine's Day that I get that and that I've gotten to spend every year since I was 22. Yeah, 22. When we were just dating with the love of my life, chief related, bro. So, yeah, thanks.
- [54:42]
B
Happy Valentine's Day.
- [54:43]
A
You too.