← Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey
Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey
Ep 1377 | 'Geriatric' Pregnancies Are Trending. Is That a Good Thing?
01:04:45
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- [00:01]
Allie Beth Stuckey
A Fox News commentator announced the birth of his surrogacy born child. And the right is embroiled in yet another debate about surrogacy and marriage. I respond to all of this also. There's a new trend to glamorize and glorify having children after you're 40. Is this positive or is there something we should be wary about? We've got all of this in much more on today's episode of Relatable. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. So the thing about the cadence of relatable three times a week, with Monday being theology focused typically, and Wednesday being more news focused and Friday being more of an evergreen interview with. We're not always the first people to talk about the subject that is going on on X or that you're seeing in the news. And here's why. I actually prefer that setup. There's a lot of anxiety, especially in the commentator space, to be the first person to say something, to be the first person to contribute their thought. And sometimes that hastiness can lead to less thoughtful takes. Not always, but sometimes. And what I like is that the three times a week format that we have of this show forces us, forces me to take a step back and to see the bigger picture and what is true underneath the talking points, what is true underneath the discussion, the dialogue that's going on. And sometimes things blow over and the thing that I thought was really important when it happened is just not as important as I thought or, or the facts change and I'm like, gosh, I'm really glad that I didn't give my initial reaction on that. Um, there's a lot of self control, I think that plays into this job and really can benefit you once you realize that, okay, I've got value to add to this conversation and it does not have to be immediate. What is more important is that we bring substance and in my case, try to bring as much biblical clarity to a topic as possible. When it comes to this particular subject of a right wing pundit named Guy Benson announcing the surrogacy birth of his new daughter. This is one that I want to take special care in discussing. Not only because I appreciate Guy Benson and the insight that he has added to political conversations over the years. He and I aren't close friends, but we have interacted in the past and have been in some of the same circles in the past. And every interaction that I've had with him has been completely pleasant. He seems like a Very, very kind, down to earth person. And he's added a lot of good things to the discussion and the discourse over the years. A very sane, rational person as well when it comes to so many of the topics at hand. But regardless of whether or not I am familiar with the people involved in this topic, we are talking about a family. We are talking about children. We are talking about precious babies made in the image of God, whose lives matter, whose soul matters. We are talking about all people in this situation whom are who. Whom we care about simply because they are humans and we want what is very best for them. So in me talking about this, I want to be sensitive without shying away even a little bit from what is good and right and true. Because we are talking about people that matter. Because we are talking about the sanctity of life and the dignity of human beings and the rights that children are entitled to, even when they don't have the voice to speak up for themselves and have no political capital. I want to make sure, sure that I am kind, but also that I am unrelentingly truthful. Because people speaking the truth in love, when it comes to surrogacy, when it comes to reproductive technology, is the only thing that is going to make for a better future in which all people, no matter how small, no matter how young, no matter their location, are regarded as full human beings who are entitled to rights. Yes, the right to life, the right not to be tested on in a lab and then eugenically thrown away, but also, I believe, the fundamental right to a mother and father. We've talked about this a lot on this show over the years. This is not even close to the first conversation that we've had about surrogacy. In fact, I credit some of the. Relate the. The conversations rather. Yes, the relationships with the conversations that we had on Relatable more than five years ago with people like Katie Faust and Jennifer Law for really changing the direction and moving the conservative movement in the right direction when it comes to talking about things like, like surrogacy and ivf. Really things that were not being discussed several years ago when I first talk started talking about the dangers of IVF and things like that, I got a lot of pushback, a lot of hate, a lot of, well, aren't you pro life? Shouldn't you be okay with all babies being born, no matter what? You'll remember when Dave Rubin announced that he and his partner were welcoming two children via surrogacy, that, that I did a video talking about that, like how to navigate that as a Christian who again likes the person who is announcing this but is doing something that I believe to be ethically wrong, like how do we speak the truth in love to that? And so I did that a few years ago and I think it's important to do, to do that again today because when our emotions and when our affection for someone or our respect, respect for someone comes up against something that we know morally and biblically more importantly is wrong, we have to know how to navigate that with both truth and love. So I want to look at the dialogue online about this and how the right is really fractured when it comes to these major issues, what it says about our worldviews, the clash of worldviews and how we as Christians can be a big bastion of clarity in this world of chaos and confusion. So we'll get to that in just a second. I do want to remind you, speaking of a bastion of clarity and courage in an age of confusion and cowardice and chaos, I want you to come to Share the Arrows. If you are a Christian woman, if you are a woman who is like, you know what I'm hearing about Christianity, I'm interested in it, I don't really know. Then you need to come to Share the arrows. It's Dallas, Texas, October 10th. We're going to be having an apologetics teaching teaching session with Elisa Childers and Natasha Crane. We've got Costi hen, our first ever relatable speaker. We've got two other related bros Shane and Shane leading worship. We've got Rosaria Butterfield. She will be back. She was here the first, the first year of the Arrows are very first speaker who came out on stage before she uttered a word she got a standing ovation. That's how loved she is. She'll be back. And then for the first time we've got Audrey Brogy and Grace Annel Castleberry talking about what it looks like to be a biblical wife and mom. This is no fluff. This is not about emotions. This is not about self love. It's not a conference telling you how beautiful you are. This is a conference who believes that women can handle the truth and need to be discipled and need to be equipped no matter what sphere you occupy, to go out and to share the gospel and to live in a way that glorifies God. So if you want that and you want those lifelong friendships that come from Share the Arrows go to share the arrows.com get your tickets today. You will not regret it. It's time to book your flights, book your hotels. Grab your small group, grab your friends. Totally cool to come by yourself to go to share the arrows.com that's share the arrows.com and you know what? I'll just go ahead and get the. I'll get the first ad done and then we'll get into the the bulk of this conversation about surrogacy. My first sponsor is Jevity, y'.
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Guest or Co-host
All.
- [08:25]
Allie Beth Stuckey
I love Jevidy. This is a sponsor, a company that I have used myself chief related bro and I about, I think it was, gosh, a year ago, maybe a little bit less. We had the phlebotomist that Jevity sent out come to us and to take our blood, which was like five seconds. It was painless, it was super convenient, drew our blood and then sent the vials off where they were tested. And then the results for those tests came through to our app just within days and and then suddenly I had a look into everything that's really going on in my body. And not only that, there was a video uploaded from a doctor that works with Jevity that was about 30 minutes long that I listened to on a walk that explained to me in very, very simple and clear terms what all of these results meant. And not only that, but made recommendations for me for diet and exercise and supplements and things like that to truly optimize my health. And now, you know, I'm pregnant with number four. Praise God. I'm so glad that before I got pregnant I was taking my health seriously and I had a really clear look at what was going on in my body and what I needed to make sure was top notch before I even got pregnant. Go to gojevity.com Alli get started today. Invest in your health. That's gojevity.com AllI for 20% off gojevity.com Alliu. So the New York Post shared an article about the announcement of Guy Benson's birth of his daughter, his second child, on July 20. He is a Fox News political analyst. And right away there were a lot of responses, especially from people in our camp. We've got a lot of evangelical conservatives who weighed in on this. Andrew Walker, for example, a friend of the show, someone you guys should be following, said designing family arrangements with the intentional deprivation of either maternal or paternal love is a violation of natural justice. I don't care whether left or right does it, it is still wrong and society should not incentivize or applaud these arrangements. And of course, I believe that he is absolutely right about this. You've heard my spiel on Surrogacy a lot. But when we create these children, especially in this situation where you are buying the eggs from one woman, you are renting the womb from another woman. So you're taking a child away from their biological mother, you are placing in them, in a. An unrelated woman whose smell and touch and heartbeats and body they get to know, they call home for nine months, and then you immediately take that child, after birth, away from the only home, the only smell, the only regulator, the only woman they have ever known, and away from the biological mom who, with whom they share half of their DNA. We are treating that child worse than we treat kittens and puppies. There are very strict restrictions around when you can actually adopt a puppy or a kitten. Why? Because we see the health benefits for these little animals in staying with their mother for 8, 10, 12 weeks. It varies a little bit, but it's actually seen as cruel to immediately take that kitten away from his mother.
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Audience or Call-in Participant
Why?
- [12:01]
Allie Beth Stuckey
Because we understand when it comes to animals that there is a natural bond there, a natural mutual necessity that exists between the mother and the baby that needs to be preserved, at least in those first few weeks when it comes to animals, for that animal to be able to grow, for them to be healthy. But for some reason, when it comes to human babies who are much more fragile, who are much less resilient, and of course, as Christians, we believe are made in God's image and so matter infinitely more than a cat or a dog, we say, ah, it's probably fine, it's probably fine. Let's just see. Let's just see if it's fine. Let's do a little social experiment. Take babies away from their mom, from their gestator, place them in the hands of two men. Let's see what happens. Now, why are we okay with the let's see what happens mentality when it comes to these babies? Because the social experiment that we are conducting on these unconsenting children is satisfying the desires of adults. And that is ultimately what really matters more in our society at large. If you want to look at abortion, if you want to look at our foster care system, if you want to look at the reproductive industry which rakes in so much money year after year, it is the prioritization of adult wants over children's needs. And I understand the family diversity theory that says as long as a child is being raised in love, they will be fine. Says who? Says who? I don't think that's true. I don't think that we can find the study that says oh, actually, it's totally fine too. For the first time in history, in the millennia that human beings have existed, to purposely take a child away from the mother and raise them by two men. There is no consequence to that psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I don't think there's science to support that. And of course, there's no theology to support. Is disordered from the start, from the very beginning, from the moment of conception. The egg selling, the sperm selling the surrogacy using, which all, by the way, has physical consequences for the child. It's much more risky for the embryo. It's much more risky for a riskier for the baby as well. During conception, during transfer and implantation, during gestation, by the way, all of these things create a high risk situation, even higher risk situation for these little babies. But then, of course, you're creating this emotional and psychological, physiological risk too. And we just say, well, it's probably fine. The only reason that it's probably fine is because these little babies can't speak up for themselves because they may not have the words right away to say, where's my mom? And yet, how many times have we played these videos where, you know, we. We just played one the other day on my social media. And actually, if we can find it, I'll just go ahead and. And throw to it. But it's this dad saying, now tell me why my child is calling us mama and is crying out for mama even though he's been raised by his two dads since birth. Here it is.
- [15:32]
Guest or Co-host
My son has two dads. He has always just had two dads. So can someone explain to me why whenever he's mad for us doing something completely horrible like changing his diapers, brushing his teeth, or just putting on clothes on him, why he screams mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Like, why he never had a mom? So how does he even know that he should scream mom whenever he doesn't want anything? Is it from daycare? I don't know. He must have learned that from some other kids. Right? Right.
- [16:09]
Allie Beth Stuckey
Okay. This is not just a one off them before us, led by Katie Faust chronicles these stories. This is very common. This is natural. This is instinctive. Somewhere deep inside, we want to know where we came from. We want our mom. That does not mean that two men who are raising a child don't love their child. I think they do. It doesn't mean that they are not good fathers. In a variety of ways, I think they are. It means that they're not a mom. You can be a really good dad, but you will never be a mom as a mom of four, with the fourth on the way. Like, I can tell you, there are so many different scenarios when our girls have needed me. Me, specifically, as a mom. Even the very seemingly simple sentence of, you're a girl just like Mommy, and when you grow up, you'll be like me. You'll be a woman like me. And one day you might get married to a man like Daddy, and you might be able to have a baby, too. Just the ability to be able to relate, oh, this is my mom. This is who I could turn into one day. I mean, Mr. Rogers, like, had that whole song basically saying that same thing. Because we used to understand that this fundamental orientation for boys and girls to be able to see themselves in the future through their parents was important. Now it is different. Losing a parent by tragedy and losing a parent by deliberate arrangement, okay? It's the difference between losing a parent by death and losing a parent because. Because of some intentional choice of someone to take that parent away. Both are tragedies, both are sad, both have effects. But in one, you feel this sense of betrayal that my mom sold me. And the other woman who carried me, well, she also made tens of thousands of dollars from giving me away. If you don't think that aff affects a child's psychology, you're fooling yourself. You're fooling yourself because it's uncomfortable to think about. And that's what I want to push you to do. Don't not think about the ethics of surrogacy and what we are doing to babies because it's uncomfortable to think about. That means you care more about adult sexual whims than you do the rights of children. And I'm telling you, that's evil. It's evil no matter how many times the world tells you that's compassionate. Blaze host Steve Dase is one of many who pointed out that the rights division on the issue is a really bad sign. If we can't win the argument within our own team that kids should not be purposely denied a mom or dad, we have no chance to beat the other team. And he's 100% right about that. Okay, if we're just looking pragmatically, not even getting into the theology yet, if we're just looking pragmatically, like, if we cannot say the most basic truths that a dad can't become a mom, we've lost. Like, what business do we have talking about trans sports if we basically believe the same thing that the left does? But just exchanging the exchanging the buzzword for homosexuality, you know what I'm saying? Like we don't believe that a woman or a man can become a woman. We don't believe that a boy can become a girl and so they shouldn't play on the girls sports teams. But we do believe apparently that a husband can become a wife. We do believe apparently that a dad can become a mom. That's the same math. Okay, Trans women are women is the same math, is love is love. They're both circular. They never define the term. It doesn't actually mean anything. And when we say oh well, kids just need. Kids just need parents, you are saying that men and women are interchangeable. So what logic do you have behind saying men shouldn't be in women's sports? You've just said in this other sense, when it comes to so called gay marriage or surrogacy that men and women are interchangeable. So is a woman actually a woman? Is she biologically defined and necessary or not? That's what the right has to decide. That is so fundamental, that is so basic to our understanding of reality. Actually our understanding of those truths is why any of us are here. Surprise. Like all humans around the world are here. All humans who have existed since the beginning of time are here because we understand that, that a man can't be a woman, that a mom can't be a dad. You gotta have those two to tango. Even people who say, I saw, you know, a famous couple, two men use a surrogate to have their child, an egg seller to, to have their child say outright. And I've seen this sentiment over and over again, our kids don't have a mom. Our kids don't have a mom. They have two dads, they have an egg seller, they have a surrogate, they don't have a mom. Every child has a mom. Every single child, every single person on the planet that has ever lived has a mom and a dad. And surrogacy, egg selling and sperm selling robs them of that, plain and simple. Okay, you can use your euphemisms to say that that is not true. It is true. It is true. Megan Basham, she lent her opinion, which I agree with. She said Benson is an incisive pundit, 100% true. But there is nothing conservative about deliberately creating motherless children. I pray Benson and those like him on the right would consider what they are telling the world about how unnecessary they believe mothers, or if we're talking about two women, fathers are to the needs of children because that is what they're declaring when they create these children through the surrogacy process that mothers and fathers serve no specific purpose. Now, Kennedy Montgomery, she's another Fox News host. She was also the officiant for Guy Benson and his partner's wedding. Said this in response to Maggie. Now, the intellectualism of this is about to blow your mind. I mean, it is such a substantive argument that you might, like, I don't know. I don't know. If you didn't go to Yale, get your PhD, you probably won't be able to follow this. Okay? So us simpletons, we're gonna. We're gonna do our best.
- [22:48]
Audience or Call-in Participant
Okay?
- [22:48]
Allie Beth Stuckey
Are you ready? Here's what Kennedy said to Megan's thoughtful post. She said, bless your heart, Megan. While you're at it, go replace the batteries in your vibrator. Oh, by golly. I. I'm. I'm. I didn't realize how wrong I was. Thank you so much. You know what? Kids don't have a right to a mom and a dad anymore. It is perfectly fine to take a newborn away from their mother and to make sure that they don't get the skin to skin that's necessary for them to regulate their heartbeat and temperature. That's fine. It is fine. Because Kennedy, she decided to go into, like, the liberal woman comedian sex slop of female secular comedy and go that route. All right, well, a lot of people, thankfully, piled on Kennedy and was like, that was totally unnecessary. That was not, like, not a worthy response. Megan responded to her with something very kind and thoughtful, which, of course, is exactly what I expect Megan to do. Just completely uncalled for. Okay, you disagree. I understand you disagree. Okay, like, let's hear the argument. Or just don't give your argument at all. That didn't even make any sense. Okay? That's like you're emotionally lashing out and that doesn't look good. Okay, George Santos, I guess he's someone who used to be a Republican congressman. He also identifies as gay. He said, I'm no Guy Benson fan, but Megan, go step on grass. Those like him on the right. You mean the rare common sense gay man? Are you trying to push us out and go back to the Bush days? You know, the days Republicans were content with losing? He's going to raise his daughter with his partner. I guarantee you she will be well taken care of and turn out just fine. There are plenty of motherless and fatherless kids in the world. As long as they're raised with love, that's all that really matters. That. Please, stat, please, because we have A lot of stats on fatherlessness in America, and actually it really does greatly affect kids negatively. We don't have as many stats on motherlessness because it's a historical aberration, because fathers, unfortunately, derelict dads, have been leaving their families, in some cases for generations and generations. Moms very rarely do that. So we don't have a lot of historical data on that. We have a ton of historical data on what happens when kids grow up without a dad. And it's not good. You've got rising, rising likelihood of delinquency, of eating disorders, of sexual promiscuity, of all different kinds of mental health issues, anxiety, depression. Could it be because robbing a child of their mother or father isn't good for them? Or could it be that God knew what he was doing when he created our bodies, when he created the family, when he made us male and female? Now he says he's going to raise his daughter, and I guarantee you she'll be well taken care of. I have no doubt about that. I have no doubt that she will be well taken care of. That's. That's not my concern. My. My thoughts about their niceness and their desire and intent to raise their children well is totally unaffected. Like, I believe those things about them. It's just that they're not moms, and neither of them can be. And moms and dads aren't interchangeable because men and women are interchangeable. Let's talk a little bit more about this myth of family diversity. That love raises a child, and that's all that's needed. You could have three dads. You could have five moms and two dads. Um, you could be raised by wolves, but as long as you are loved, as long as you are cared for, then you turn out just fine. Is that actually true? We'll look into it in just a second. Let me pause. Let me tell you about our next sponsor, and that is Cozy Earth, y'.
- [26:38]
Guest or Co-host
All.
- [26:38]
Allie Beth Stuckey
I love Cozy Earth. We just got a new product from Cozy Earth. We got some beach towels that are so fun. They come in all different kinds of awesome colors. And just like all of my Cozy Earth bath towels that I have, because I have a lot of those. Like, they are the perfect texture to actually get you dry, but they're also luxurious and soft. Somehow Cozy Earth always pulls that off. They make things, like, really practical so that you actually want to use them, but they also feel amazing. That's true about their sheets. That's true about their incredible, luxurious blankets. It's true about their loungewear, their pajamas. I seriously love Cozy Earth so much. All of this makes for a really great gift. Maybe you're looking for like back to school teacher gifts. You want to get them something really nice. Check out Cozy earth. Go to cozyearth.com use code relatable for an exclusive 20% off. That is cozyearth.com code relatable. Brad Wilcox, we've had him on the show a couple times. He is the director of the National Marriage Product Project and a fellow at the Institute for Family Studies at the University of Virginia. And he calls this the family diversity myth. What we just outlined the idea that love makes a family and kids are just as well off as long as they have someone in their life who is loosely associated with them, who loves them. His 2024 study actually found that when young men specifically are raised by two married biological parents, that's key there they are 20% more likely to graduate college than to end up in prison or jail. Not 2%, 20%. So biological parents also if we look at a 2012 University of Texas study that surveyed over 15,000 young adults, it found that compared to those raised by stably married biological parents, okay, that's only ever can be a mom and dad. Individuals raised by lesbian mothers differed on 25 of 40 outcomes, 63%. And those raised by gay fathers differed on 11 28% with disadvantages including higher depression, lower health and income, more unemployment, public assistance, sexual abuse and relationship instability. Now you might say, oh well, that could be because of discrimination, that could be because of poverty and different things. Doesn't look like it. And actually gay men have the highest income trajectory typically because they are too hardworking men, very often with two full time careers. And so there seems to be something special about being raised by your mother and father. A study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psych and Psychiatry that measured the psychological adjustment of children from different family types found that the surrogate born children had higher levels of adjustment level difficulties than other children. Which of course makes sense. Now I always get questions in the middle of this. Well, okay, what about children who were adopted? Because children who are adopted are typically taken away from their mother right at birth. Children who are adopted typically some have some kind of like trauma during gestation or the mother was going through trauma during gestation. And obviously they're not being raised by their biological mom and dad. And so people will accuse me of being anti adoption. I, I am very pro adoption. I think adoption is beautifully redemptive. And that is the key. There is that adoption redeems an already broken situation. Whereas surrogacy, egg selling, sperm selling creates that broken situation. Okay, so broken situation already exists. We've got a pregnant mother. She feels that she can't raise her child on her own. Okay? Still, the ideal for that child that she is pregnant with would be to be raised by his biological mom and biological dad, married in the same home. If those two parents could do that. But because the mother feels that they can't, the next best option, it's not the ideal. The next best option is to be adopted by a loving mom and dad. Okay, so we have redeemed a broken situation. We live in a fallen world. That means there will be orphans, there will be foster care, there will be abandonment. There, there will be the necessity of adoption. I think that adoption is a beautiful picture of the gospel. Okay? Redeems that broken situation. But if you are selling your DNA to create a child that you are purposely not going to raise, if you are selling your eggs, selling your sperm, if you are selling your body, basically a prostitute for tens of thousands of dollars to gestate a child that you are not going to raise and care for, also abandonment, you are creating that broken situation. And then if you are the people over here who are paying for that, you're paying for basically the prostitutes, the people selling their eggs, selling their sperm, selling their body for money to create your child, you are also creating that broken situation. Create the broken situation versus redeem the broken situation. That is the difference. Now, both kids born via surrogacy and kids who are adopted and can go through similar effects of that primal wound simply because the ideal in those situations was not met. But ethically, the intent behind it is not the same. I always tell that story, and I'll tell a very shortened version of when my oldest was born and she was having breathing struggles and they wanted to take her to the nicu and I begged them to put her on my chest. They put her on my chest. And then before they took her to the nicu, they tested her breath one more time. It was perfect. And in that case, I know this is not in all emergency cases, but in that case, what she needed to regulate her breathing was her mom, was me. My heartbeat, my warmth, the only person she had ever known. And I just wonder, I just wonder how often that is true for all babies who are born, but especially these babies who are being purposely robbed of that. From the earliest age, more and more Republican voters actually seem to be, and conservatives actually seem to be realizing, okay, this is not as innocuous as we thought. Like, if you go back a few years to when Dave Rubin announced this, like, I would say there was just a minority of people even on the right being like, saying, like, I, I just don't think I can say congratulations. I just don't think I can go, go along and, and celebrate this. I was heavily criticized, lambasted for that at the time, by the way, by some people who now are like calling this out and condemning this. Some of those same people criticized me publicly for very graciously, I might add, and patiently wading into those waters and saying a controversial truth about the ethics of surrogacy. But nevertheless, I am very glad that the opinion is changing this. A 2025 Gallup poll showed that support for same marriage so called was on the decline for Republican voters, down to 41% from 55% in 2021 to 2022. Okay. A matter of three years drops 14%. Wow. On something that I think in like 2016, everyone thought was a given forever. When asked whether same sex marriage was morally acceptable, 38% said yes. That's on the Republican side. Okay. National polling from the Greater Than campaign, that's Katie Faust campaign, released in June 2026, show that 96% of Conservative and moderate voters believe that it's important for children to be raised with both an involved father and mother. 78% children's needs should come before adult desires, while the 78% is way too low. That's crazy. But 96% conservative and moderate. Okay, so we're not just talking about far right people. People accuse me of being far right. No. 96% of conservative and moderate voters believe that you should be raised with mom and dad. We can agree with gay conservatives on a lot of issues and be glad that they are anti woke in many respects. And I will continue to, I will continue to be thankful for that. That does not mean that I have to compromise on this. And I won't. I won't because I actually find this more important than almost every other issue out there. Not every issue. I mean, like, obviously I want to link arms with people no matter what your sexuality is, on things like abortion, on things like immigration, all of those things are really important. But this is right up there with abortion because we're still talking about the sanctity of life and the rights of babies. What are they? Do they exist? Or do babies exist just as social experiments for adults who want to fulfill their wants? If we can't answer that on the right Then we've got a big problem. Because it really does go back to, like, what is conservatism? What are we conserving? And if we are not conserving the family, which is the building block of every flourishing and free society, and we are redefining marriage to be something other than what it biologically and biblically is, well, then we're on very shaky grounds. Because if marriage can be redefined as between two men or between two women, again, another historical aberration. It wasn't like that in any society for millennia. Then why can't it be three people? Why can't it be five people? Why can't it be 500 people? And you tell me, does a five person union in which at least, at least three of those people are unrelated to the child, does that seem like a safe and sound stable situation for a child? We actually know that the most likely abuser in a child's life is the unrelated male that lives inside the home. Now, does that mean every stepfather or every unrelated male living inside the home is going to be an abuser? No, not even close. It's not what that's saying. That's just statistically true, that that child is statistically far more likely to be abused when an unrelated male is living inside his or her home. And so when we redefine marriage to make that more likely, you are putting children at risk. And if you're like, that's a slippery slope fallacy, the slope has slipped. It slipped way past where evangelicals thought it would slip back in 2015 when we warned about the effects of Obergothel. Like, I wouldn't have thought that polyamory and poly relationships would be something that we were seriously discussing. I would have laughed in your face. I would have thought that you were reading from a passage from somebody far left dystopian novel. Or the fact if you showed me a picture of someone, of one of these men walking into a woman's dressing room and you told me that I would be lambasted for not calling him she, I would have laughed. I would have thought this is a Chris Farley skit that you were reviving and you were trying to tell me that this is serious. So the slope is slipped. You can't tell us it's a slippery slope anymore. Like, we've slid way past where we thought that we would. You know, I heard something the other day in a sermon and I couldn't believe it. So PC usa, that is the Presbyterian Church of the United States, they are the liberal they're the liberal wing of Presbyterian. PCA is more conservative. PC USA is, Is more liberal. The PC usa, okay, is currently debating, according to Religion News Service, if its stance on polyamory after a proposed rule requiring clergy. Clergy to be strictly monogamous was referred to a broader study on human relationships and sexuality. Okay, so they were taking a vote on like, okay, how are we going to be. How are we going to define marriage and holy matrimony for our clergy? Because they had already consented or they already assented to the redefinition of marriage that could be between two men or two women. And so now, of course, as it goes, because that slope is so slippery, you had clergy inside the PCUSA saying, well, like maybe it's not just two men. What if it's. What if it's three men? What if it's five? What if it's a polycule? They didn't bring it to a vote. They were going to bring it to a vote. They decided to defer the vote for further study. Okay. The denomination's official governing documents do not explicitly mention polyamory, leaving room for active internal debate and grassroots discussion. Okay, that is an article from June 4, 2026. So that is exactly the consequence of refusing to define marriage as it biologically is, as it biblically is. Okay. That's what happens when you deny Genesis 1:27, okay? You skip right to Romans 1. Everything becomes acceptable. You become foolish because on what basis is marriage only between two people? Once you start self defining things based on adults, adult whims, anything goes. Children suffer. That's the point. That is the point. All right, we've got more on this in just a second. Let me pause, tell you about our next sponsor, crowd health. If you're ready to opt out of health insurance, if it's just too much, too complicated, causing you to feel sicker than you already are, you want an alternative, then you should try what we use. And that is crowd health. I have seen how the health insurance industry just doesn't seem built to actually take care of families. It's so complicated and expensive, especially when you really need care. That's why I love what crowd health is doing. They put care back in healthcare with a community focused, low cost alternative. I signed up. I've been experiencing how empowering it is to have real advocates on your side. It's a community of people who have decided to stop letting profit driven insurance companies call the shots. Instead of networks and restrictions, you get freedom. Personal care advocates who fight for you. Bill Negotiators who slash what you owe prescription discounts so much more. Their users, their community have already saved over $56 million. That's amazing. Go to JoinCrowdHealth.com and join CrowdHealth.com use code ALLY. You'll get 99amonth for your first three months. Join CrowdHealth.com code ALI CrowdHealth is not insurance. Opt out. Take your power back. This is how we win. Join CrowdHealth.com code ALI. There's this other story that was circulating about an egg seller. The exchange that she had with her 19 year old biological child went viral because this woman who sold her eggs almost 20 years ago, she wanted validation that she had responded correctly to this young person who reached reached out to her. So she posted this on TikTok. First the message it looks like maybe Facebook message, social media message that a 19 year old that was apparently conceived from her sold egg sent her I and said said this. I don't mean to be a bother, but I think you may be my biological mother. My mom revealed this info to me and I was wondering if you wanted to do a DNA test and possibly get to know me and build a relationship as your daughter. I think I look so much like you. I've always felt empty and disconnected from my mom and didn't know why. So this person seems to have been raised by a mom and a dad and yet desperately wanted to know why. Where do I come from? Okay, so love wasn't enough. We hear a lot. Oh, people who are born via egg and sperm selling like they get the comfort knowing that they were paid for. They were wanted so much. They were perfectly planned. It's not enough. We want to know whose am I? Where do I come from? Okay, the egg seller said this in response. Hi, I'm going to be very direct with you. This is a major breach of privacy. Egg donation is confidential, anonymous business transaction. I signed my parental rights away 19 years ago. I am not your mother and I do not have the space or desire to build a relationship with a stranger. Please contact the clinic or agency your parents used and please do not contact me again. How rude. How incredibly heartless and callous do you have to be this person? Obviously searching for meaning, searching for love, searching for connection and and you get hit with. You are a business transaction. Don't contact me. Okay? By the way, if you are truly donating something, it's not a business transaction. That's why egg donor, sperm donor is a misnomer. You are getting tens of thousands of dollars in Some cases for your eggs and for your sperm. It's only called donor because that's the legal workaround, because you're not actually supposed to be able to sell human DNA. So you say that, oh, you're paying me for my time. We all know the truth. I mean, it's selling children. So posted this and oh, posted this video. We'll play it south three.
- [44:03]
Audience or Call-in Participant
I think it's pretty creepy because not only is egg donation supposed to be anonymous, I'm not your mom. You know, I can see if I had this baby and I put her up for adoption, you know, but that's not what I did. I sold my eggs, I signed my rights away, I got my check, and I went on about my life. Why the hell are you contacting me right now?
- [44:30]
Allie Beth Stuckey
Okay, so that's the video that she had posted in her voice over there. I mean, it is though, like, you, like, gave your child up for adoption. So a lot of commenters criticized her for how harsh she was. And so she said in a follow up video that while she still doesn't want to be the young woman's mother, she's willing to have a conversation. And she said this. Now, this is after backlash. Okay, Remember what she initially said? Okay. After backlash and after people didn't say, you go, girl. Yes, queen. That was so awesome what you just said to your biological mom. She said, okay, okay, okay. She did a little CYA. And she said, I've spent the last 24 hours thinking about your message. My initial response was defensive because I wasn't prepared for this, and I'm sorry if it came off as cold. It was cold. Ice cold. Frigid. I'm not in a place to be a mother to you, but I do understand that you're looking for answers. I'm open to a phone conversation so we can both be heard. Let me know if you're still open to that. If you are, I will send you my number. We can go from there. That would have been a great initial response. A great initial response. Okay, remember what we said in the beginning about self control, not responding to things right away? And then the response is, you can just tell this person is so young. Hi. Omg. Yes, I would love that. Thank you. At first my feelings were hurt, but then I talked to my mom and understood. Now, thank you for reaching back out. Poor thing. I mean, she still had to hear. I'm guessing this is. She still had to hear that she was a business transaction and that this woman signed her rights away. Again, you can just See how in these cases, the adult desires trumped this child's needs. And these are the ethical quandaries that you opt into that you place without consent, your child into when you have this Ins justify the means for all reproduction. INS justify the means mentality. For the Christian, none of this really should be confusing, okay? Shouldn't sell humans. You shouldn't buy humans. You shouldn't sell your DNA. You shouldn't buy human DNA if you are set on having a child. Like, if you feel that God is calling you to have a child, I promise you he is not calling you to unethical means to have that child. Our desire for something does not justify any means necessary to fulfill that desire. That's not what Psalm 37:4 means, that delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. He is not going to call you to sin. He's not going to call you to place the wants that you have above the needs of your child. It's not going to, okay, there are thousands of kids who need adoption. There are thousands of kids who need love. Maybe it's not through adoption. Maybe it's through volunteer opportunities. I think we are all called to love and nurture children in some way, whether or not you are a parent. But you are risking a lot, emotionally, spiritually, physiologically, mentally for your child when you say, I don't care how they were conceived, how they were gestated, how they were made, I just want to be a parent no matter what. It's selfish. That's not the right way to start out your parenting endeavor, because parenting is about sacrificing what you want on behalf of your children. Okay? So while the world says that this is love and this is the consequence of defining love as love, that means love can be anything. It can literally just mean the fulfillment of your wants. Christians know better because 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. God is love. He created it. He's the source of it. He gets to define it. He defines it in First Corinthians 13 is so many things. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy or boast. It does not insist on its own way. It never rejoices in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love is not love. God is love. God defines love. First Corinthians 13. He defines it so beautifully, so clearly. Okay, so if the love doesn't look like that, it's not love. It's something, it's desire, but it's not love. And if Christians are about anything. It's about that, right? If we're going to allow the world to define parenting, the world to define mom and dad, the world to define marriage, and the world to define love, and we as Christians are not willing to speak up and say, no, no, no. The God who created you, he's the one who gets to define these things. What are we even doing? What are we doing? You know, like, really, is this what the martyrs died for? Like, for us to be weak and cowardly about these basic things? If you can't even stand up for Genesis 1:27, which is biologically obvious, even pagans do that throughout history. Are you really going to stand for John 14:6, that Jesus is the way, the truth, the life? No one comes to the Father except through him? Doubt it. It's much more controversial now. Remember John the Baptist? He was beheaded not for. Not for hearkening the arrival of the Messiah, but for calling out a sinful marriage between Herod and Herodias. Okay, so Christians are called to do both. Christians are persecuted for doing both. But marriage really matters. It mattered so much that John the Baptist gave his life for it. Don't be duped into thinking that Christian love just means tolerating sin at the expense of children. Ephesians 4:15. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head into Christ. Galatians 6:1. Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. First Peter 3:15. But in your hearts, honor Christ. The Lord is holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you. Yet do it with gentleness and respect. Yet do it with gentleness and respect. That means you do it. You don't sacrifice the doing it of telling the truth, but you do it with gentleness and respect, knowing that no matter how gentle and respectful you are, there will still be people who call you cruel and mean and bigoted. And that's okay, because in our hearts we are honoring Christ the Lord as holy. All right, we got a couple more things to talk about. Let me pause. Tell you about our next sponsor. It is EveryLife. EveryLife is an amazing pro life diaper company. They sell wipes, they sell diapers, they sell pull ups. They even have baby lotion, baby body wash. We've used it all and we love it. Right now we are in a little window of no diapers but we'll be back in it soon with the newborn stage and we of course will be using all of our every life diapers because they work so well, clean materials, super soft, super flexible and really effective. Love every life. Love that they partner with pregnancy centers to make sure that women are cared for, that they have the resources so that they can make the most life affirming choice. Get your box today. When you order@everylife.com and use code ALI10, you'll get 10% off your first order. That's everylife.com code ALI10 foreign. To stay on the subject of pregnancy, I was sent this article again a couple weeks ago, just now getting to it and I've been thinking about it and how to like what I what I think about this. And this is the pregnancy after 40 trend that is actually being glamorized somewhat by social media and by Hollywood. And the question is why? Because I think we generally live in an antinatalist society that sees babies as burdens or as things to just attain use as accessories, show on social media, things like that. And so why is someone like Anne Hathaway, who is in her 40s, she's 43, she's having a baby. Why are people just fawning over her? I understand why someone like me would. She's gorgeous. Let me just show you her in this periwinkle dress. First. I think that she's an autumn. Let me just say that. And I think even though it's not an official autumn color, I think periwinkle on an autumn looks amazing. She looks incredible. So beautiful. I love this dress on her. She's a beautiful pregnant woman. I am so happy for her and I'm so glad that she is on social media. She's on the red carpet showing that you can do all of these things, you can have a baby. I also love that she is showing like you don't have to stop having a baby when you're 35 just because they call you geriatric or whatever it is. You can keep having a baby and it's beautiful, it doesn't ruin your life. So I think that's great. But there is something that I think is interesting about this to know. So the Wall Street Journal published an article on July 13th titled your 40s used to be middle aged, not Anymore, featuring this glamorous photo that we already showed of Ann Hathaway. The article points to Hathaway as well as Natalie portman, who is 45, who is expecting her third. I did not know that as examples of the cultural shift when it comes to maternal age. Did you know that they don't call post 35 pregnancies geriatric anymore? They actually call it advanced maternal age. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. While I am happy about all the things that I listed and I'm happy about the contribution of another image bearer of God to the world, to the world and I think motherhood is fantastic, the risks have not actually changed in association with pregnancy after 40. Am I saying that you shouldn't do it if you are a married woman? No. But just because we changed the name because geriatric was offensive doesn't mean that the risks don't exist. It is much more difficult to get pregnant after 35 and especially after 40. The risks to you, the baby, do increase after that. Here is what I'm just a little bit afraid of when it comes to the when it comes to the advertisement of this and perhaps one of the reasons even why it is being circulated and why it is being unconditionally lauded even in circles where you wouldn't think it would be because it is pushing this idea that you can party through your 20s, chase your career through your 30s, choose to settle down when you are 38 and you will be just as likely to get married and have children and be a trad wife when you are 45 as as if you did it when you were 25. And that is not statistically true. I just don't want to sell women this unrealistic vision of what their life will absolutely look like if they defer marriage for promiscuity and for their career to be a girl boss forever and ever until they have finally expended all of their options. They've gotten all of the promotions that they want to get and then they'll just be able to snap their fingers and look like Anne Hathaway in a matter of a few months. It's just not likely. Is it possible? Yes. The Lord can do anything. I know lots of women who got married in their 30s and had kids in their late 30s and early 40s. I am not knocking that. As a rule, God can absolutely do anything. I just don't want young women to get the wrong impression. You should not think that as a rule, you've got 20 more years to spend not pursuing marriage or not wanting marriage or not settling down. Probably not. You probably don't have that long. The biological clock is something that is real and I think it's okay to reckon with That I don't think it's rude. I don't think that it is limiting God by any means. I think it's just realizing God created us a certain way. We have a certain window of fertility. There is a time within that window in which getting pregnant is most likely. If you want to get married and have children, it makes sense as far as it depends on you to try to get married and have children during that window, as far as it depends on you. So I don't have a problem, obviously, with women getting pregnant later in life. I have a problem with us presenting that as if it is something, as if it is the ideal. Bridget Fedacy, We've had her on the show. She is a comedian, a podcaster. She said this in response to the Wall Street Journal article that really just talks about how, you know, how. How different it is and how acceptable it is now for people like Kim Kardashian and Serena Williams to all have children in their 40s. Bridget says, I got pregnant at 43. I am very clear when I tell my story that I'm exceptionally lucky. I heard once that something like 1 out of 6 women who wants to have kids after 35 can't. I would have had 5 kids had I started young. Okay? So According to the CDC, analyzing the years 1990 to 2023, it shows that births to women 40 and older have increased by 193%. I don't think that is a good statistic. I think that that is actually not a sign of women extending their fertile years and saying, hey, I trust God to give me five more kids and my 40s. That would be one thing. I think it's people deferring responsibility. I think it's people putting off marriage until they have checked all of their boxes. Now, some women, you don't. You. You can't help it. You know, that's the guy's gonna pursue you when he's gonna pursue you. And you wanted to get married earlier and you didn't. Again, different situation. But if you want to get married, your choices should align with that. If you want to get. Have kids, your choices should align with that. Don't put yourself in a situation, if you can help it, where you're 42 and having, having, quote, unquote, to rely on IVF to have kids because you were sold the lie that you can easily get pregnant with when you're 42. Can't easily get pregnant when you're 42. Probably not. There was this really sad story in the New York Post and The headline was, 38 year old woman decides she wants a baby. Claims she has been betrayed by feminism. She put this crying video on social media. Her name is Melissa. She said, I feel unbelievably betrayed by feminism. And I don't want to put it on the movement entirely because I believe you make your own choices. But I was constantly fed this idea that women can do everything. We don't really need men. I kind of want to go back to some of those teachers and coaches and say, what did you mean by that? Because we can't do it all. Melissa was married at 22 to a man who wanted a traditional family, a simple life with children, home cooked meals. However, she didn't want children or that lifestyle. She said that she'd had it when he asked her to do his laundry and make him dinner. She wanted to pursue a career. I guess she left that, left that marriage. But she is realizing that that life is closer to what she really wanted than the one that she has now. When it is very difficult to be able to settle down and have kids. I think that this is real. This is real. And the people also who say, I saw Dax Shepard say that this is a, you know, an option for his kids and he's going to offer his daughter to freeze her eggs when she's like 18, like that, like that's some viable option. First of all, it's terrible for you, it's terrible for your body. And again, it feeds you the lie that it'll just be easy, it'll be easy in two decades. It's not. And you're creating, again, moral risk. You're creating risk for that child. A UCLA study found that only 5.7% of women who froze their eggs between 2014, 2016 actually used them between five and seven years. A society for Assisted Reproductive Technology report found that 55% of women under 35 had a live birth after one cycle of egg retrieval, compared with only 4.3% for women over 42. I think it's dangerous for a woman. I think it's dangerous for children. I think it's dangerous for all these embryos that are being created to believe the lie that this is the ideal, that this is the ideal. I understand that might offend some people, but listen to all my caveats. It's not the ideal. It is possible. Children are a blessing no matter what. But I don't believe that this should be hoisted up to women as like, the thing that they should attain. As far as it depends on you get as Mary get Married as soon as you can. All right, let me tell you about our last sponsor for the day and then we will close out and that is Good Ranchers. Did you know that July is national Grilling Month, y'? All, we're almost out of July. We only have a couple more days in national grilling month. That means you only have a couple more days to take advantage of their $50 off their order, go to Good Rangers.com use code ALI at checkout to get $50 off anything in their site. So code ALLY for $50 off Good Ranchers is All American meat. You've got better than organic chicken. We eat that almost every night in our home. We've got, we've got wagu beef. We've got chopped beef. We've got all different kinds of cuts of steak. We've got seafood, literally everything from Good Ranchers and it's all so high quality and it is all American made. Go to good ranchers.com code alley. All right, y', all, I had like a whole other story to talk about that we didn't have time for. You guys know I'm just like super passionate about these topics, especially the first topic because I just really think the rights of kids matter. On Friday, we are switching gears. We're going to have a different kind of interview. We are going to be talking about finances with a finance expert from Ramsey Solutions. We've got George Campbell on the show. It was such a good conversation, y'.
- [62:52]
Audience or Call-in Participant
All.
- [62:52]
Allie Beth Stuckey
Whether you are a total newbie when it comes to finances or if you're someone who feels like you are a pro, I think that you are going to hear things in that conversation that you've never thought about before. I think you'll find it really encouraging. I think you'll find it challenging, maybe even offensive at some parts. Y', all. I felt convicted at the end of it. I was like, oh, shoot. I hadn't really thought about things that he was saying there. And so it's really good. Make sure that you tune into that. That will be out Friday morning. And as always, if you've got thoughts, if you've got suggestions, a lot of you have asked me different things about, like flock cameras, different subjects that you guys have sent me. We are always going through your messages and making sure that we are giving you guys the things that you want to hear about, the things that you need to hear about as much as we possibly can. So send me a message. Leave a comment thank you guys so much for being here. We will be back here on Friday.