Podcast Summary: "Real Gone" by X Minus One
Podcast: Relic Radio Sci-Fi (Old Time Radio)
Episode Date: April 13, 2026
Host: RelicRadio.com
Original Story Airdate: Historic X Minus One Broadcast, starring Al Jazbo Collins
Main Theme: The intersection of art, science, and ambition through a satirical science fiction lens
Episode Overview
In this episode of Relic Radio Sci-Fi, listeners are treated to a classic "X Minus One" story titled "Real Gone." This witty, self-aware tale—featuring jazz personality Al Jazbo Collins playing himself—blends satire and science fiction to explore themes of art, invention, greed, and ambition. Set in mid-century New York, the story follows disc jockey Al as he becomes entangled in the bizarre business of micro-sculpture and scientific intrigue involving expanding plastic cubes, massive art deals, and a deadly partnership gone awry.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Introduction to the Story and Protagonists (00:33–04:13)
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X Minus One Launches: The legendary "blast off" countdown and signature intro set a classic sci-fi radio tone.
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Al Jazbo Collins as Narrator: Al welcomes us with charismatic patter, sharing his experience as a popular jazzy disc jockey. He immediately establishes the story’s playful, irreverent voice.
"You ever hear of him? He's an artist. I don't mean records or music. I mean an artist—artist, sculptor..." – Al Jazbo Collins [02:01]
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Meeting Ralph Therian: Al reminisces about Ralph’s creative but often mischievous artistry, highlighted by World War II antics and failed potato sculpture assignments.
2. The Creative Gold Rush: Ralph's New "Art" (04:13–06:55)
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Transformation of Ralph: The formerly starving artist now appears successful and ostentatious, decked out in expensive, eccentric attire.
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Ralph’s Artistic Breakthrough: Ralph shows off a small plastic cube containing a miniaturized, intricately carved sculpture.
“That is a detailed copy of Rodin’s The Kiss.” – Ralph Therian [05:25]
"I just sold two original compositions to Morgenstern ... for $25,000." – Ralph Therian [05:58]
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Al’s Skepticism: Al, ever the everyman, is unimpressed by the steep price for what looks like a glorified paperweight, highlighting the absurdities of the art market.
"Money is never secondary. Money is the primariest thing there is." – Al Jazbo Collins [06:28]
3. Art Dealers, Wealth, and the Value of Genius (07:59–09:53)
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Introduction of Larry Oss: A wealthy, dual-identity entertainer and art collector, Larry Oss is enthralled by Ralph’s plastic sculptures, contrasting pop music success with high art.
“This is the most exciting discovery in art since the invention of red paint.” – Larry Oss [08:32]
"The Picasso, the Renoir, the Cezanne will in time fade into insignificance. This is a new art form." – Larry Oss [09:39]
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The Satire of Artistic Value: The banter over escalating prices ($30,000 for a cube) lampoons the hype and speculative trends in the art world.
4. Discovery of the Secret Process (10:07–15:11)
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Ralph’s Windfall: Ralph receives a massive commission and celebrates with Al, setting up their deeper involvement.
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Introduction to the Studio and Science: Al is taken to Ralph's secret studio and introduced to the weaselly technician Burton.
“In those little glass bottles is the secret of $100,000. And I'm going to show you how I do it.” – Ralph Therian [13:51]
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The 'Blow-Up' Process: Using a mysterious catalyst and electronics, they expand a plastic cube to enormous size, allowing Ralph to sculpt the inside before shrinking it back. The process is revealed as a blend of advanced chemistry and technological wizardry:
“The long organic chain of molecules in the plastic is infinitely expandable under the right condition.” – Burton [15:04]
“A cube this big is as soft as putty ... and I start to carve my pretty sculptures inside.” – Ralph Therian [15:33]
5. Tension, Greed, and Breaking Point (15:12–20:25)
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Partnership Conflict: As the "art" business booms, Burton demands a bigger share—escalating comic rivalry and resentment.
"I want 50% Therian. 50%. That's only fair, isn't it?" – Burton [16:14]
"That is the typical wailing of the non-creative technician. Envy. Pure envy for genius." – Ralph Therian [16:06] -
Ultimate Mishap: The process becomes a metaphor for their contentious partnership: the artist and scientist, both driven by ego and greed, are literally trapped by their creation when the catalyst is sabotaged.
"The catalyst ... I made it up half strength. ... The two of them were in there when the roof fell in. The roof and the walls." – Al Jazbo Collins [20:25]
6. Ironic Epilogue: The Final Paperweight (20:25–21:26)
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Twist Ending: Al, in deadpan style, reveals the result—a morbidly realistic sculpture of two men locked in struggle, now immortalized in the latest cube.
"Little plastic cube, about 2 inches. Look in there. Two fellows with their hands around each other's throat. ... This one's in full color." – Al Jazbo Collins [21:18]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On Art and Money:
“Money is never secondary. Money is the primariest thing there is.” – Al Jazbo Collins [06:28]
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On Artistic Innovation:
“This is a new art form.” – Larry Oss [09:39]
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On Creative Ego:
"That is the typical wailing of the non-creative technician. Envy. Pure envy for genius." – Ralph Therian [16:06]
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On the Outcome:
"Two fellows with their hands around each other's throat ... this one's in full color." – Al Jazbo Collins [21:18]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [02:01] – Al introduces Ralph Therian and their history
- [05:17] – Ralph unveils his micro-sculpture breakthrough
- [08:32] – Larry Oss extols the “new art form”
- [13:51] – The secret of the expanding cubes is revealed
- [15:04] – The blow-up and carving process explained
- [16:14] – Tensions over profit-sharing escalate
- [20:25] – The fatal denouement: science, ambition, and disaster
- [21:18] – The episode’s final, chilling twist
Tone and Style
The episode maintains a wry, ironic tone, with jazzy repartee, sharp one-liners, and playful mockery of both the art world and scientific hubris. Al Jazbo Collins’ narration is breezy, self-mocking, and streetwise, acting as an audience surrogate amid the surreal events.
Summary
"Real Gone" is a clever send-up of both the art scene and the dangers of unchecked ambition—a blend of New York cool, science fiction, and cautionary farce. The episode’s conclusion brings the story full circle with its darkly comedic take on artistic immortality, perfectly encapsulating X Minus One’s talent for marrying speculative science with human folly.
For those who enjoy satirical sci-fi, jazz-age dialogue, and stories where invention, greed, and creativity collide, this is a classic "X Minus One" not to miss.