Report On The Barnhouse Effect by Dimension X

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Report on the Barnhouse Effect" (Relic Radio Sci-Fi, Dimension X)

Date: July 6, 2026
Source: RelicRadio.com
Original Story: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

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Overview

This episode of Relic Radio Sci-Fi features "Report on the Barnhouse Effect," an adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s seminal short story, originally broadcast by Dimension X. The episode explores the ethical and existential dilemmas faced by Professor Arthur Barnhouse after he discovers a mind-powered superweapon, "dynamo psychism." As military and governmental powers close in, Barnhouse is forced to make critical choices about humanity, warfare, and personal conscience. The broadcast blends Cold War anxieties, dark humor, and philosophical questions about power and responsibility.

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Key Discussion Points and Story Segments

1. Introduction to "Dynamo Psychism" (00:56–08:41)

• Setting: Wilton College, Professor Arthur Barnhouse’s psychology office.
• Introduction of Mind Power: Professor Barnhouse reveals to George Clinton (his assistant and the episode’s narrator) his ability to influence physical objects with his mind ("dynamo psychism"), demonstrated by manipulating dice and exploding an inkwell.
  • Quote:
    “People have always thought there could be a force of the mind... Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve learned to control it.” — Prof. Barnhouse (06:07)
• Professor's Dilemma: Barnhouse expresses anxiety about the implications—his power could be used for immense good (building, healing) or catastrophic destruction.

2. Military Involvement and Testing (09:16–15:39)

• Government Reaction: After Clinton urges Barnhouse to notify the government, both are taken to a secret military facility.
• Weapon Test: The Army sets up a demonstration—Barnhouse is asked to destroy robot-controlled fighter rockets with his mind.
  • Quote:
    “You’re spending millions to prove that it can do immense damage. It doesn’t make sense.” — Prof. Barnhouse (11:03)
  • Key Event: Barnhouse destroys the rockets, confirming his ability and terrifying the military brass. He slips away unnoticed during the commotion.
• Barnhouse's Note: He informs his captors,
  • “As the first superweapon with a conscience, I am removing myself from your national defense stockpile.” — Note read aloud by Major Cutthroat (15:13)

3. Global Ramifications: The War of Tattletales (15:39–17:44)

• World Response: News spreads rapidly. Barnhouse (now at large) intervenes globally, destroying secret weapons caches and disrupting military maneuvers—causing an era of "tattletale war" where nations expose each other’s arsenals to trigger Barnhouse’s intervention.
• Chase for Barnhouse: Clinton is pressured by authorities to help find the professor, as every global power wants control over the "Barnhouse Effect."

4. The Hunt for Barnhouse (17:44–23:44)

• Escalating Search:
  • Interviews with landladies and hotel clerks (e.g., "Mr. Balfour" alias) trace Barnhouse’s movements.
  • Use of radio detection cars to find dynamo-psychic “static.”
• Obstacles:
  • The global search is complicated by the number of people and the professor's resourcefulness.
  • Other "friends" are also seeking Barnhouse—possibly enemy agents.
• Near Miss at the Hospital: Clinton and Major arrive at a hospital just after Barnhouse is taken away by "friends," heightening suspense and the sense of closing danger.

5. The Climax: Barnhouse's Fate (23:44–27:50)

• Phone Call: Barnhouse manages to contact Clinton from captivity, hinting at the inkwell and leaving an unfinished clue before the line is cut.
  • Quote:
    “Clinton, they’ve got me. ... Remember the inkwell, Professor? Professor Barnhouse!” — Barnhouse and Clinton (24:18)
• Final Pursuit: Clinton and Major head to a private airfield, witnessing Barnhouse being loaded into a plane. To prevent his capture, Barnhouse uses his power one last time to destroy the aircraft, sacrificing himself rather than allowing his secret to be exploited.
  • Quote:
    “Barnhouse blew it right out of the sky. He wouldn’t let himself be taken alive. ... He shouldn’t have had to be a hero. All he ever wanted was peace.” — Clinton (26:10)

6. Aftermath and Legacy (27:50–28:54)

• Clinton’s Epilogue: Back at Barnhouse’s office, Clinton discovers a final note in the inkwell, completing the professor’s last message.
• Passing the Torch: Clinton reveals he has learned dynamo psychism ("rolled my 50th consecutive seven"), suggesting the cycle will continue but hinting at hope that someone with a conscience will now guard the power.
  • Quote:
    "Professor Barnhouse may be dead, but you haven’t heard the last of the Barnhouse Effect. Not yet. ... I’ve just rolled my 50th consecutive seven." — Clinton (28:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Barnhouse’s Conscience:
  “As the first superweapon with a conscience, I am removing myself from your national defense stockpile.” (15:13)
• Cynicism toward Military Logic:
  “You’re spending millions to prove that it can do immense damage. It doesn’t make sense.” (11:03)
• The Demand for Peace:
  “He shouldn’t have had to be a hero. All he ever wanted was peace.” — Clinton (26:12)
• Hope and Succession:
  “I’ve just rolled my 50th consecutive seven.” — Clinton, signifying the continuation of the power, hopefully in wiser, safer hands (28:54)

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Timestamps of Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | | ----------- | ------------------------------------------------- | | 00:56–08:41 | Discovery of dynamo psychism, Clinton’s initiation| | 09:16–12:12 | Government/military intervention and demonstration| | 12:12–15:39 | Rocket test & Barnhouse’s escape | | 15:39–17:44 | Tattletale war, global impact | | 17:44–23:44 | Hunt for Barnhouse, interviews and near-captures | | 23:44–27:50 | Phone call, airfield showdown, Barnhouse’s fate | | 27:50–28:54 | Clinton’s epiphany, legacy of the Barnhouse Effect|

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a sharp, wry tone reminiscent of Vonnegut’s own style—blending dark humor, skepticism toward authority, and deep moral questioning. Performances are earnest, tense, and occasionally sardonic, reflecting postwar anxieties about technology, war, and human nature.

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Conclusion

"Report on the Barnhouse Effect" is a fast-moving tale of power, paranoia, and individual moral action. It asks when (or whether) humanity should wield ultimate power, and what responsibility falls on the few who possess it. By ending on a note of hope—one grounded in conscience—the episode leaves listeners contemplating the real force inside every individual: the choice to do good or ill with what they create or discover.

For more science fiction radio adventures, visit relicradio.com.

Transcript

[A]

Relic radio. This is Relic Radio. Sci Fi Old Time Radio Science fiction stories from relicradio.com.

[B]

Adventures in time and space Told in Future Tense.

[C]

The Mansion.

[B]

The mind of man is still an unprobed field. Within it lie many mysteries still unsolved. But there are men today, psychologists now experimenting with telepathy, hypnosis, thought transference, who believe that in the future we may discover the existence of a force of the mind more powerful than any force the world has ever known. We go ahead now, in time some 10 years and in space, to the campus of a small eastern college. The hour is late, and in one of the dark college buildings, two men stand in front of a door that bears the name Professor Arthur Barnhouse. Psychology.

[A]

Well, here you are, Clinton. Thank you, Major. Here are the keys to the professor's desk and files. I guess you inherit everything now. You might as well dictate a full report while everything's still fresh in your mind. I'll wait and see you home.

[C]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

That isn't necessary. I'll be all right.

[D]

You sure?

[A]

After what's happened tonight, we wouldn't want you to have an accident too. Major, after what happened tonight, I have a hunch the whole world is ripe for an accident. I'm afraid you're right, Clinton. Well, good night. Good night. Oh, pull yourself together, buster. Easy does it. August 21, 1960. Restricted report from George Clinton to the Secretary of Defense, Secretary of State, the FBI, National Security Board, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Subject the so called Barnhouse effect and Professor Arthur Barnhouse who discovered it. I first met the professor two years ago, in the fall of 1958. He was a professor of psychology here at Wilton College. And I was here on an instructor's fellowship in the psych department. They assigned me to be Barnhouse's assistant and he needed one. He hardly ever remembered to go to a class, and he didn't seem to do anything else either. For three months I watched him sitting at the desk here in his study. He'd either stare at nothing for hours or fall asleep nodding over his mess of papers. I couldn't understand it and it was none of my business, but one day I thought I'd better give him a shake.

[C]

What? What?

[A]

I said it's 215, Professor. Don't you want to go to your two o' clock class?

[D]

Don't you want to mind your own business?

[A]

I beg your pardon?

[D]

Sorry, Clinton. Forgive me. I don't know what gets into me. Forget the class. The kids would rather be Outdoors, anyway.

[A]

Okay, professor. In that case, I'm sorry I woke you up.

[D]

It's all right. I just can't seem to get my sleeping done at night. Clinton, what do you know about the international situation?

[A]

Well, I'm no political scientist, if that's what you mean. I read the papers when I have time.

[D]

That's the way I've always been. Lately, I've had to look into it. I stay up nights looking into it.

[A]

Professor, I don't want you to take this personally or anything, but. Well, sir, I wonder if you'd mind if I ask to be transferred.

[D]

You mean you'd rather work with somebody else in the department?

[A]

Oh, no, sir. No, sir, it's not that. I think maybe there's a chance for a psychologist to work on that government project.

[D]

Government project? Oh, yes, that army thing.

[A]

Yes, sir. They're trying to develop robot pilots for the new fighter rockets. So they'd be expendable.

[D]

Oh, yes, yes, something else designed to replace men.

[A]

Yes, sir. And you know, it's a funny thing. The robots work just like human brains. They get overworked or overloaded at something, and they have nervous breakdowns. Now, if I could only find out what drives those electronic brains crazy. Why, I'd think that I would.

[D]

If you want to study a brain that's going crazy, never mind the robots, you can go to work on me.

[A]

What are you talking about, sir?

[D]

I don't know. I'm either crazy as a bedbug or a Clinton. I wish you'd help me find out.

[A]

Are you serious, Professor?

[D]

I never was more serious in my life. I. I'm afraid I'm going out of my mind.

[B]

But why?

[A]

What makes you think so?

[D]

This is what makes me think I'm crazy.

[A]

Those dice.

[D]

Clinton, do you know what the odds are against my rolling a seven?

[A]

Oh, about five or six to one.

[D]

Watch. Seven. Now, what are the odds against my

[A]

rolling it again twice in a row? Plenty. About 101, I'd say.

[D]

Watch,

[A]

professor, you're hotter than a two dollar pistol.

[D]

That's funny. That's what they said eight years ago when I first discovered this.

[A]

Discovered what?

[D]

This force of the mind. I call it dynamo psychism.

[A]

You mean you shove those dice around just by thinking about it?

[D]

People have always thought there could be a force of the mind, you know that fortunately or unfortunately, I've learned to control it.

[A]

Yeah. How did you happen to find out about this, professor?

[D]

Well, it was about 10 years ago, back in 1948. I made the mistake of going to a psychologist's convention. And in order not to appear on social, I happened to find myself, for the first and only time in my life, in a dice game.

[A]

What happened?

[D]

I didn't have the faintest idea what was expected of me. And someone told me to roll sevens, So I did. 10 of them.

[A]

I'll bet you weren't asked back into that camp.

[D]

That night in my room, I realized that it simply couldn't have been an accident.

[E]

Clinton.

[D]

I tried to reconstruct the exact scene, the position of my body and finally the thoughts in my mind. And that was what did it. I remembered what had been my train of thought, and I proceeded to roll sevens not 10 consecutive times, but 50.

[A]

Brother. There it is again. Professor, can you do anything else? I mean, besides shove dice around?

[D]

You see that inkwell on my desk?

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Watch it. Don't take your eyes off it. If nothing happens, say so, and I shall go quietly, even happily, to the nearest sanitarium.

[A]

Okay, professor, shoot. Harriet. What? It just blew up.

[D]

Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to splash ink on your suit.

[A]

That's okay. Professor. What. What was that funny noise?

[D]

Oh, that. The dynamo. Psychic waves are a little like ultra high frequency waves. Sometimes when I turn on the power, they. They create a kind of static.

[A]

Listen, professor, how much power have you got? Could you blow up anything? Well, you know, big.

[D]

I could flatten the Great Wall of China.

[A]

Or you'll make the helio oxygen bomb look sick.

[D]

That's what scares me, Clinton. The thought that maybe I could use this power to save the world. Clinton, you've got to help me.

[A]

Who, me? Professor, when it comes to international relations, I don't know from where. You better get in touch with the state department.

[D]

State department? Yes, they'd be the ones, wouldn't they? Well, you probably want to be getting home now. I'll see you to the door. I could use a breath of fresh air.

[A]

Okay. Professor, you better stop brooding about this. You get somebody else to do your worrying for you.

[D]

Yes, yes, you're right. I have been brooding, wondering what to do. Just sitting and staring endlessly at that awful monstrosity across the way.

[A]

You mean the old bell tower?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

I've gotten so I can't stand the sight of it anymore.

[C]

Professor.

[A]

Professor, look. What? Why, there's nothing left but a pile of rubble.

[D]

Oh, my. I didn't really mean to do that. Well, you see, Clinton, it's got to the point where my lightest whim is more dangerous than a blockbuster.

[A]

Professor, you get in and write that letter to the State Department right now. You packed too much of a wallop. Professor Barnhouse mailed his letter and things happened fast. A long arm of the army reached out and within five days the two of us were deposited in an old mansion in Virginia, surrounded with a barbed wire fence and 20 guards and labeled top secret. As soon as they'd seen a couple of small demonstrations, they set up a big test of dynamo psychism. And the professor was a very important guy. You could see him getting more unhappy every day.

[D]

General Buck, I've got to talk to you.

[C]

Just a minute, Professor. We're cleaning up the last sails in operation Brainwave. A roll at 1400 hours tomorrow.

[D]

At 1400 what?

[C]

Two o' clock tomorrow afternoon. Robot controlled fighter rockets will take off at exactly 1400 -10 and appear over the target at 1400 watching from here over the video screen. You will then try to knock all 20 of them out of the sky. Think you can do it?

[D]

Of course I can do it.

[C]

Fine. And we've taken care of everything.

[D]

Everything except that you neglected to ask me if I wanted to do it. I don't. This whole thing strikes me as childish and insanely expensive.

[C]

We'll decide about that.

[D]

But what's the good of it? I wouldn't mind acting as a defense weapon if it were necessary. But I can make all wars and armaments unnecessary. I could give every nation what it needs. I could move mountains, build roads, dig irrigation canals. I have a technique which costs nothing and can do immense good. You're spending millions to prove that it can do immense damage. It doesn't make sense.

[A]

You know something General? He's right.

[D]

Of course I'm right. I want you to send me and Clinton back to Wilton College right away.

[C]

That's quite impossible, Professor. This operation has gone too far to be called off now. Yes, but even if we wanted to call it off, if your dynamo psychism really works, you're apt to be the key to our entire defense setup.

[D]

But listen, you have to excuse me now.

[C]

Major Cuthro and I have to double check the confidential list of the observers on this end. Have you got a Major?

[A]

Yes General, it's right here. Albert Barker, Bernstein, Carter, Clinton, Cuthrill, Holbrook, Lawrence Stein, Williams.

[C]

Check. I guess that includes everybody of importance.

[D]

What about me?

[C]

What? Oh, that's taken for granted, Professor.

[D]

Thanks.

[C]

1400 hours. Will you be ready?

[D]

I'll be ready. And now if someone will wind the restricted clock and put the confidential cat out, I'm going to bed.

[C]

Ydr to brainwave Control. Observation plane to Brainwave Control. Come in, please. That's McKinley in the observation plane. Cut me in. Hello, McKinley. Reading it clear on the speaker. Everything all right? All okay, General. Take off. Uneventful Fighter rockets now flying on course in perfect formation. Altitude 5,000ft. Airspeed 865. Visibility unlimited. Are you tracking us? We've got you on radar. Haven't picked you up on the video screen yet. What's your estimated time of arrival over the target? ETA, two minutes. Check. Remember, McKinley, the observation plan is not to enter the target range. Veer off and cycle at the 10 mile limit. Bring the rockets overhead by remote control. Check. Observation signing off. 1 minute, 45 seconds to go. Professor. Bonhouse.

[D]

Are you in good shape? I'm all right, General.

[C]

Good. Can all take our places in front of the video screen now? You sit here, Professor. The center. Major Cuthro, will you turn on the video screen?

[A]

Right, General. Nothing yet. Just empty sky.

[C]

Hold it.

[A]

I hear him coming in.

[C]

There are 20 of them, Professor. You think you can knock him down? At this altitude?

[D]

Distance has nothing to do with it.

[C]

I don't want anything to go wrong. You're sure you feel all right, General?

[D]

I know I can do it. If that's all that's worrying you, let's call the whole thing off and save $20 million.

[A]

There they are. They're coming in.

[C]

Get ready, Professor. 10 seconds. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Now. Wide open, Professor. Well, go ahead, Barnhouse. Knock them down.

[D]

I did.

[C]

Nonsense. All you've done is blank out the video screen. What went wrong? Did you give it everything you had?

[D]

I was wide open, General.

[C]

Then it didn't work. They're still flying.

[D]

They?

[C]

What's that?

[D]

It just took a few seconds to work. That's.

[A]

Holy smoke. They're dropping like flies.

[C]

McKinley and the brainwave control.

[A]

What's happened to these rockets? They're going to remain flame.

[C]

By heaven. It works. It really works. Cuthro, get Washington on the line. Barnhouse, I want you to. Hey.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

Where's Barnhouse? Prison. Where's the professor?

[A]

Got me, General. We were all staring at the video. He must have walked out.

[C]

Get moving, everybody. Let the guards search the house. If anything happens to that Matt.

[A]

General Parker.

[C]

What is it, Corporal? Corporal Gray.

[A]

Guard at the main gate, sir. Professor Barnhouse is gone.

[C]

Gone?

[A]

Where? He came tearing out of the gate at 40 miles an hour.

[C]

Here's a note, sir.

[A]

Threw it out of the car as he went by. I picked it up.

[C]

Let me say it quick.

[E]

What?

[C]

What got into that man.

[A]

What does he say, General?

[C]

Gentlemen, as the first superweapon with a conscience, I am removing myself from your national defense stockpile. Setting a new precedent in the behavior of ordinance. I have humane reasons for going off sign Arthur Barnhouse.

[A]

Barn house was gone. And within 12 hours the world was on a spree. The headlines were glorious or terrible, depending on what you think of the things the way they are. Helio bomb factory, the dynamo. Psychic waves reached every corner of the world. In every country, every continent flashed the news of what was happening. Hey, Barnhouse knucks out. Hidden atomic stockpile in Asia There was a new kind of war. The war of tattletales. Secret agents of every country hunted for the hidden armaments of their enemies. Yelled about them in the newspapers. And immediately there'd be that warning burst of barnhouse static followed by radio controlled fleet blown up on secret maneuver. The professor was out to make peace or bust. And nothing like him ever was. Look, Major Cuthril, I told the FBI and the army everything I know weeks ago. I've answered questions till I'm blue in the face. I didn't come here to ask questions, Clinton. I came to ask for your help. My help? That's right. Find Barnhouse. What if I don't want to? If you're his friend, I think you'd better. Why pick on me? You've got the FBI, the police and army intelligence. Why can't you find him yourselves? We're trying. But you know the man. Well, you could spot him where we wouldn't, and you're the only one who can. Maybe. But why should I? Wherever he is, I think he's doing fine. He's making war impossible and I like it. So do I. Yes. He's putting you out of a job. That's all right with me. I'll retire to a truck farm. With pleasure. Well, then. Look, Clinton, we aren't the only ones in this race. Every country in the world has its best agents out hunting for Barnhouse. Nobody can beat that kind of a manhunt. He seems to be doing all right so far. Sure, but how long do you think he can keep it up? A week? A month? Sooner or later he'll be spotted. And if the wrong people find him, Clinton, we're done for. You know what kind of weapon this is? Whoever controls the Barnhouse effect can control the world.

[C]

Well, all right.

[A]

Suppose they do find him. He'd never give the secret away. Never give it away? Are you out of your mind? Do you think these fellows are playing for marbles? Well, no. Read the papers, Clinton. Don't you know what's going on in the rest of the world? Yes. They'll get the secret out of Barnhouse, all right. What happens to him in the process won't be very pretty. Well, he. He must realize that then he'll. He'll never let himself be taken alive. He may not have the choice. And if he doesn't, God help us all. All right. All right. I'm in. Good. Now, do you know anything that you haven't told us? Anything that might give us a lead? Only this was addressed to me. I found it here on his desk the morning after he escaped. You mean he came back here? Yes. I guess he needed to pick up some personal effects. Anyway, the files were open, and he left this note on a scrap of paper. Anything to do with the Barnhouse effect? Read it yourself. It's Greek to me. Just these few lines scrawled on a piece of paper, and the last one breaks off right in the middle of a sentence. This stuff doesn't make any sense at all. You know the looks of this. I'm beginning to wonder if the professor isn't going off his rocker. I thought of that, too. All the more reason why we've got to get to him quick. He may be helpless, and the whole world's on his track. Come on, Clinton. We haven't much time. You say you do recognize this photograph, Mrs. Reardon?

[E]

I tell you, it looks like Mr. Balfour. He had the second floor front room for quite a while, but he left, oh, I should say about a week ago. Say, is he wanted for something?

[A]

Yes, if he's the man I think he is.

[E]

Well, now, I'd say you're looking for the wrong fella. That Mr. Balfours, he couldn't be a criminal. Why, he wouldn't even harm a fly. He spent all his time in his room just thinking.

[A]

Brother, it's hot. What a way to spend an August afternoon, huh, Major? Get my eye teeth to be at Jones Beach. So would I. Corporal, we've got work to do here. Look, sir, we've been cruising around these radio detection cars for a week. Not a sign of barnhouse static. The professor must have run out of things to work on. Well, we'll give him a little more time.

[D]

Switch to shortwave.

[A]

See if there's anything special coming through. Yes, try the 9 meter wave.

[C]

This is Radio Minat.

[E]

I called.

[A]

Let's hear that.

[C]

Our American enemies who have hidden behind the unjust, diabolical persecution by Professor Arthur Barnhouse Will tyrannize us no more.

[A]

Wonder if the Professor's out of here.

[C]

Our glorious leader takes up his residence in a shelter shielded with lead against all. Dynamo Psychic wreck. With his protection designed by our brilliant scientists to be absolutely impregnable against the Barnhouse effect, he will once again lead us on the path of our glorious dead.

[A]

Quick, triangulate it and get me a fix. I've got it. Let me check this chart quick. Man. 3.9, 1.7. Oh, my yaking back. What is it? We haven't got a prayer of finding a major. He'd have to be picked out of 2 million people. Where is Bonhoeffer? Right where I was wishing I was, right smack in the middle of Jones Beach. Sorry, gents, we're full.

[C]

No more rooms tonight.

[A]

We don't want a room. Do you recognize this picture?

[D]

Who wants to know?

[A]

Uncle wants to know. Oh.

[C]

Oh, excuse me.

[D]

I'm sorry. Let me see it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it looks a lot like room 417.

[A]

About 5ft 8, thin, sandy hair, glasses, little scar right across the bridge of his nose.

[C]

That's 417 all right.

[A]

You mean he's here now?

[C]

No, not anymore. He checked out two days ago. But he couldn't have gone far.

[A]

What makes you say that?

[C]

Oh, he looked sick as a dog. Couldn't hardly carry his own bag out.

[E]

Uh.

[C]

Oh, like I said to the other fellas. I said he looked like he was on his way to the moor.

[A]

What other fellas?

[C]

Oh, the ones this morning. You're the second parent's been asking for him.

[E]

Here we are, Ward 15. This way, gentlemen.

[A]

You're sure he's here, Nurse?

[E]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Thank heaven we're in time.

[E]

Well, I wasn't on duty when he came in, but one of the other girls told me he collapsed in the street. The ambulance brought him in.

[A]

Poor guy. He must have really had it rough.

[E]

Oh, here you are. Bed number 78. This is your man.

[A]

Wait a minute. This is Barnhouse.

[E]

I was perfectly sure. Wait, let me check his chart. Dismissed.

[A]

8:00pm Only an hour ago.

[E]

Oh, dear. Now I remember.

[A]

Remember what? If he was sick, why did you let him go?

[E]

Well, two of his friends came and took him away. They didn't want him in the charity ward. They said they'd make sure that he was taken care of.

[A]

Every time I walk into this study, I keep hoping somehow I'll wake up out of a bad dream and find the professor just sitting here. Major, is there anything we haven't covered? Nothing. The police, the FBI, the air Patrols, the docks, the railroad stations, everything. Not even a flea could get through this ragnet. I hope. Then I guess we sit. We sit. Maybe something will come in. Do you have to roll those dice? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I. I wasn't thinking.

[B]

An hour.

[A]

That's what's driving me crazy. One hour sooner and he'd have been in our hand, not theirs. I know. Well, maybe he's still all right. How can he be all right? He's in the hands of a foreign power. We don't know that for sure. The professor was a likable little duck guy. He couldn't have lasted this long if he hadn't found some friends. Maybe they came and took him away. Well, I. Grab that. Hello? Yes? Clinton, is that you? Professor Barnhouse? Clinton, they've got me. Who's got you? Where are you, Professor? I don't know. They said something about taking me to an airport. An airport? Which one? Listen, Clinton, I've got to tell you. The inkwell. What are you talking about? Remember the inkwell, Professor? Professor Barnhouse. Operator. Operator.

[E]

Your call, please.

[A]

Operator, that caller just came in here. Can you trace it? I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid it's too late.

[E]

Your party has been disconnected.

[A]

Where are we headed? He didn't say which airport? Just a hunch. The commercial airfields are all covered. But there's a little private field out here I remember. Hasn't been used in years. Better be the one they didn't have. Too much of a start on us. Maybe we'll make it in time. Step on it, Corporal.

[C]

Wide open. Major.

[A]

How'd he sound? Did he say who had him?

[C]

No.

[A]

All he got out was airport and something about a nature. Mr. Clinton, there's a tail light up ahead. Must be another car going like the devil. You're right. I see it. They're turning into the airfield.

[E]

Come on.

[C]

Faster.

[A]

Hold everything. Look up ahead. They're switching the floodlights on at the field. There's the plane down at the other end. All warmed up and ready to go.

[C]

We'll never make it on the road. Hang on.

[A]

I'm going through the fence. I to ain't going. What's the matter? Get going.

[C]

Sorry, sir.

[A]

Must have cracked the axle. They're taking off. Get out the submachine gun. You can't. Barnhouse is in that plane. You'll kill him. We've got to take that chance. That plane's headed straight for us.

[C]

Hit the dirt.

[A]

Get that gun working. Corporal, aim for the propeller.

[D]

Couldn't get Him, Major.

[A]

Well, there goes the old ball game. I'll get through to air patrol, sir. Maybe they can intercept the plane. Not a chance. By the time the fighters got off the ground, the plane would be out of range. No. We've lost Barnhouse. Nothing can save us now. Hey. What? What hit me? Clinton, are you all right? Yeah, sure. The plane. It's gone. I know. Barnhouse blew it right out of the sky. He wouldn't let himself be taken alive. Boy, he really did it the hard way. Poor guy. He shouldn't have had to be a hero. All he ever wanted was peace. Peace. What's that now? The arms race will start all over again. With Barnhouse gone, what's left to stop it? So they brought me back here to the professor's old study to dictate this report. I'm sitting here at his desk and it's just the way he left it. Papers all over. Even his old pair of dice. Arthur Barnhouse is dead. That's gonna be good news for some people when they find out. The saber rattlers of the world will be busy as of tomorrow morning getting ready to whoop up another war. I'm afraid they're in for a little surprise. It's 3am Now. Before morning comes, I intend to vanish. Disappear completely. That's the last that anybody will ever see or hear of me directly. That's why I want to tell you now. I've been looking at the new inkwell here on the desk. The professor's last words were something about an inkwell. And in it I found a little scrap of paper. Just a few words, but they complete the note. I showed the majority. The note that didn't make any sense. The whole thing makes sense now. Professor Barnhouse may be dead, but you haven't heard the last of the Barnhouse Effect. Not yet. I've been experimenting while I've been talking to you. And now the time has come for me to say goodbye. You see, I've just rolled my 50th consecutive seven.

[C]

You have just heard report on the Barnhouse Effect by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. An adventure in time, space and the unknown dimension.

[B]

Next week, the strange story of the interspace rocket Star Cloud which vanished mysteriously behind the Great Galactic Barrier in the year 1986. What happened to it and to its crew? We'll tell you next week.

[C]

Tonight's story, report on the Barnhouse Effect was adapted for radio by Clarice A. Ross. Featured in the cast were Bill Quinn as Clinton, Ed Jerome as Professor Barnhouse and Carl Weber as major cutthroat. Your host was Norman Rose. Music Albert Berman, engineer Bill Chambers. Dimension X is produced by Van Woodward and directed by Edward King. Tomorrow here, sam spade. Now it's truth or consequences on NBC.