Satan Was A Salesman by Intrigue

Summary

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"Satan Was A Salesman" – Relic Radio Thrillers

Podcast: Relic Radio Thrillers
Episode: Satan Was A Salesman (from CBS's "Intrigue")
Date: May 1, 2026 (original CBS air date: September 11, 1946)
Host: RelicRadio.com

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Episode Overview

This episode of Relic Radio Thrillers features "Satan Was a Salesman," a dramatization chronicling the infamous career of Sir Basil Zaharoff, a real-life figure whose shady dealings and arms profiteering helped shape Europe's wars and politics from the late 19th into the 20th centuries. The story—equal parts biographical sketch and cautionary tale—follows Zaharoff (portrayed by Joseph Schiltra) from his humble origins in Constantinople to his rise as a shadowy power broker, armaments magnate, and the so-called “mystery man of Europe.”

The narrative details Zaharoff's skillful manipulation, shrewd “salesmanship,” and amorality in stoking wars for profit, blurring lines between criminal, political, and corporate enterprises, and ultimately asks how history should remember such a figure.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins and Philosophy of Zaharoff

• Opens in 1869 Constantinople, introducing Basil Zaharoff as a clever, ambitious, and somewhat ruthless young man who adopts a flexible identity to fit his needs.

  • Quote:

    "If I'm a Greek with a Russian name, people who don't like Greeks can say, well, he's not really a Greek. And people who don't like Russians can say, well, he's not really a Russian."
    — Zaharoff (04:07)

• Zaharoff impresses (and blackmails) his way into espionage and commerce, soon leveraging every opportunity for gain, unencumbered by patriotism or scruples.

  • Quote:

    "Crime is only a means to an end... No intelligent man would make a career of it." (05:31)

2. Entry into Arms Dealing

• Zaharoff becomes agent for Nordenfeld, a major Swedish munitions firm, and rapidly climbs from a small-time agent (earning five pounds a week) to playing Balkan powers against each other.

  • Quote:

    "Guns and politics would make a splendid combination." (08:55)

• He manipulates shipments of arms, always extracting the highest profit and often double-dealing between antagonistic countries.

  • Quote:

    "I'll let you politicians make the wars. I'll furnish the guns." (12:21)

3. Shrewd Salesmanship and Double-Dealing

• Zaharoff exploits every side, extorting large bribes and always seeking a bigger play. He brazenly manipulates arms sales, even using government positions and fake neutrality as tools.
  • Quote:

    "Five pound sterling a week? No, I was thinking of a somewhat larger sum... a thousand pounds sterling in cash." (10:58)

4. Corporate Intrigue and Hostile Takeover

• He turns shrewd financial operator, secretly cornering Nordenfeld’s stock, effectively taking control of the company.

  • Quote:

    "I am sorry you take this narrow view of it, Mr. Norton... The man who's been buying your stocks in Paris—your new partner, sir, is myself." (14:05)

• Zaharoff justifies his deception:

  • Quote:

    "If we are to be partners, we had better be friends. If you show a cooperative spirit, you will have no cause to regret our association." (15:12)

5. Sabotage, Invention & Outmaneuvering Inventors

• Zaharoff manipulates a key demonstration of Hiram Maxim’s revolutionary machine gun before Emperor Franz Joseph, subtly sabotaging Maxim’s business prospects by casting doubt on production feasibility.

  • Quote:

    "Brilliant as Mr. Maxim's invention is, it's thoroughly impractical, I'm afraid..." (17:27)

• Despite Maxim's reluctance to mass-produce, Zaharoff entices him into partnership—and then ousts him, repeating this pattern in mergers across the armaments industry.

  • Quote:

    "If you want to destroy a man, first make him your partner." (16:21)
    "Tomorrow, it will be Maxim and Nordenfeld... your name first." (19:44)

6. Moral Ambiguity and Cynicism

• Zaharoff’s self-awareness and cynicism are crystallized in encounters with politicians and inventors. He separates himself from responsibility for the consequences of his arms dealing.

  • Quote:

    "It’s the business of statesmen to worry about casualties. You and I merely furnish the guns. If they’re stupid enough to kill each other, off with them." (19:00)

• Later, when confronted on his reputation:

  • Quote:

    "Some people insist that I actually am the incarnation of Satan... Am I to blame for the stupidity of nations? I am merely a salesman." (21:31)

7. Consolidation of Power, Legacy, and End of Life

• The show fast-forwards through Zaharoff’s pinnacle: aiding the British war effort with record sales in World War I, earning prestigious titles, and eventually buying the entire principality of Monte Carlo.

  • Quote:

    "I had to do something like this... Now those kings and queens and idiotic prime ministers have to come to me. And when they lose their fortunes at the gaming tables, I make their losses good for them. And they make my losses good for me." (27:09)

• In old age, ailing and alone, Zaharoff obsesses over his own legacy and comfort, insisting on a steam-heated tomb.

  • Quote:

    "If I can't get warm in this accursed cold climate... at least I shall be warm in my tomb, eh, Henri?" (28:35)

8. Death and Wry Epitaph

• The narrative closes with Zaharoff’s lonely funeral and the ultimate, mordant punchline:
  • Quote:

    "He wanted a steam heated tomb. He won't need any heat where he's going." (31:38)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On nationality and identity:

  "I have an important advantage which has cost me nothing, simply by changing my name." — Zaharoff (04:20)

• On the arms dealer's worldview:

  "I'll let you politicians make the wars. I'll furnish the guns." — Zaharoff (12:21)
  "Am I to blame for the stupidity of nations? I am merely a salesman." — Zaharoff (21:31)

• On partnership as destruction:

  "If you want to destroy a man, first make him your partner." — Zaharoff (16:21)
  "Tomorrow, it will be Maxim and Nordenfeld... your name first." — Zaharoff (19:44)

• On legacy and end-of-life:

  "If I can't get warm in this accursed cold climate I'm forced to live in, at least I shall be warm in my tomb, eh, Henri?" — Zaharoff (28:35)
  "He won't need any heat where he's going." — Attendant (31:38)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• The Young Schemer:

  • Zaharoff’s background and flexible identity (03:38 – 05:03)

• Waterfront Deals & Balkan Intrigue:

  • Begins agent work and arms commissions (06:00 – 09:15)

• Guns, Bribes, and Greek Neutrality:

  • Blackmailing politicians and shifting allegiances (09:40 – 12:48)

• Hostile Takeover at Nordenfeld:

  • Revelation of stock manipulation and Zaharoff's rise (13:15 – 15:12)

• Machine Gun Demonstration:

  • Undermining Hiram Maxim to sabotage competition (16:54 – 18:05)

• Cynical Conversations on War and Profit:

  • The detached arms dealer’s morality (19:00 – 19:44)

• Romantic Encounter & Public Reputation:

  • Flirtation with nobility, acknowledgment as “satanic” (21:10 – 23:37)

• World War I Sales & Honours:

  • Zaharoff knighted, stats of arms supplied (23:37 – 24:30)

• Final Years in Monte Carlo:

  • Old age, casino ownership, and reflections (27:09 – 29:35)

• Death, Epitaph, and Aftermath:

  • Funeral and dry wit (29:56 – 31:38)

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Overall Tone and Style

The episode maintains a wry, brisk, and darkly ironic tone befitting old-time radio thrillers. Zaharoff, coolly amoral and endlessly resourceful, serves as both protagonist and cautionary figure—a “simple salesman” whose cunning plays fundamentally shape the course of Europe’s conflicts. The drama balances intrigue, dry humor, and a measure of moral ambiguity, repeatedly returning to the notion that while politicians make wars, it is the likes of Zaharoff who turn the wheels.

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Closing Thoughts

This adaptation provides a compelling, condensed portrait of Zaharoff’s legendary career, illuminating how one shrewd, unprincipled “salesman” could have such a profound (and troubling) impact on world history. With its memorable lines and sharp dialogue, "Satan Was a Salesman" offers listeners both gripping entertainment and plenty to ponder about ambition, morality, and human folly.

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Transcript

[Relic Radio Host]

Relicradio.com presents stories of mystery and intrigue, espionage and suspense. Hear tales of ticking time bombs, mysterious crime scenes and cloak and dagger action. This is Relic Radio Thrillers. This week on Relic Radio Thrillers, we'll hear from a CBS series titled Intrigue. It was a short lived seven episode summer series that aired from July to September of 1946. We'll hear the final episode from September 11, 1946. It's titled Satan Was a Salesman.

[Narrator/Announcer]

VBS presents in three tales of espionage, manhunt and high adventure.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Good evening. This is Joseph Schiltra, your guide tonight on this last of our summer excursions into the land of intrigues. The central figure of our drama is a man whose name was for more than half a century a touchstone of power and mystery in European affairs. Sir Basil Zaharoff, the greatest conspirator of them all. Whence he came, what was the source of his power, no man knew. Yet he led Europe's rulers into a maze of diplomatic skullduggery and international duplicity that ended in two great world wars. Come now on this most strange and sinister journey into the land of intrigue.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Joseph silk stars as sir basil zahara, the mystery man of europe. As cbs brings you. Satan was a salesman. Like a tail out of the Arabian Nights, it begins in the teeming, bizarre lined streets of an oriental city. Our hero moves among beggars. But he is tall and well made, and his blond hair stands out like a banner of revolt against the mean and swarthy aspect of his fellows. He walks with a firm and arrogant stride, a little red fez cocked at a rakish angle on his handsome head. And on this day, he is to be seen turning in at the gate of a fine mansion in Constantinople's international settlement. Fourth 1869. Dear Anton, this will introduce Basil Zaharoff, an expert on Balkan diplomacy.

[Joseph Schiltra]

The young man of rare and unique

[Narrator/Announcer]

entertainments occurred to me that you might

[Joseph Schiltra]

find him useful in some of your enterprises.

[Narrator/Announcer]

If not, I think you'll at least find him amusing to talk to, faithfully as he are. Ev, you're an expert on both and diplomacy, eh, Basil?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, monsieur Android.

[Narrator/Announcer]

How old are you?

[Joseph Schiltra]

18, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Zahara, you're Greek.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, sir. Basilio Zaharias is my real name, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

All ready for the Russian invasion, aren't you?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Isn't that rather a drastic precaution?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Well, sir, for instance, if I'm a Greek with a Russian name, people who don't like Greeks can say, well, he's not really a Greek. And People who don't like Russians can say, well, he's not really a Russian.

[Narrator/Announcer]

That's an ingenious idea.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, I thought so too, sir. I have an important advantage which has cost me nothing, simply by changing my name.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You're priceless, Basil.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Absolutely priceless.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You should know that.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Every man has his price, Monsieur Antonita.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Why, Hi. A special.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Well, you live in a very fine house here in Constantinople, Monsieur Antonides.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What are you driving at?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Nothing, sir. I merely notice what a fine house you live in. And yet you are merely the correspondent for a newspaper in Athens. Why, you insolent.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, I should have you thrown out of here.

[Joseph Schiltra]

You won't, Miss Antonides, you won't. You know that I could sell my ideas about you to the Turkish secret police.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, you're very clever, Basil. But I don't think you have anything to tell about me except your vague suspicions.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Who sent me to you, Mr. Antonides? Well, a British ex con. I ask myself, why are you and he such great friends? You obviously have nothing in common. Then I ask myself, why did he send me to you? In his eyes, I am a criminal, a petty thief and a confidence man of the bazaar.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I don't think he's far wrong.

[Joseph Schiltra]

That is a mistake, sir. Crime is only a means to an end, Monsieur Antonides. No intelligent man would make a career of it. But a man who knew his way around the underworld of Constantinople could be very useful indeed. To a spy, for instance.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What's your proposition?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Well, sir, I spend a good deal of my time around the waterfront where I pick up jobs as a tourist guide. Now, most of the ship captains know me. I do business with some of them on a commission basis. Now, if a man had something he wanted to send from Constantinople to Athens, for instance, and didn't want to risk sending it in the usual way.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Europe in the 1870s. Russia and Turkey, the two great remaining remaining powers of feudalism, locked in a death struggle. And little Greece bridged between Asia and Europe, caught between them in a precarious neutrality. In Athens, a new political figure has appeared upon the scene. His name is Anthony this, and his secretary is a young man named Basil Zahara. No longer does young Zahara sport and jaunty red fez. His clothes are made by an English tailor and he's quite a young man about town. But he still visits the waterfront from time to time. And one evening in the year 1877, in a bar at Piraeus, the port of Athens. Well, this is my last voyage, lad. They are retiring me.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, I'M sorry to hear that, Captain Lindstrom.

[Narrator/Announcer]

There's a little job I've been doing on the side. Not much money in it, but I thought I might throw it your way now that I'm going home to Sweden for gold. But I suppose you'd be too busy with your politics to consider it.

[Joseph Schiltra]

What kind of a job is it?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, as you know, there are a number of sidelines to being a ship captain in this part of the world. Among other things, I have been acting

[Joseph Schiltra]

as one of the agents for Nordenfeld,

[Narrator/Announcer]

the Swedish munitions firm.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, well, there ought to be good money in that. In Russia or Turkey perhaps.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This has never been one of our big customers. Now that both the warring powers have guaranteed Greek neutrality.

[Joseph Schiltra]

How much does the job pay, Captain Lindstrom?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Only five pounds sterling a week, but it's not difficult. Yes, all you have to do is

[Joseph Schiltra]

drop around to the war office in Athens once in a while and see

[Narrator/Announcer]

if there's anything they want in the way of rifle. Once in a while we order a

[Joseph Schiltra]

small cannon or a howitzer for parade. Five pounds sterling will buy quite a lot of Greek money at the present rate of exchange.

[Narrator/Announcer]

That's what I was thinking. But of course, if you're too busy with your political work or anti navy.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Not at all, captain, not at all. As a matter of fact, I think guns and politics would make us splendid combination.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes. I remember meeting you now though at Antonita's house the night I became Minister of War.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, your excellency. I was his agent in Constantinople for several years.

[Narrator/Announcer]

So you were responsible for that brilliant work.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Well, sir, I have no intentions of depth. As a matter of fact, sir, I have come with a message from M. Antonides. A message of most urgent and confidential nature.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yeah, what is it?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Great neutrality, sir, is on the point of being violated.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What's the source of Antonides information?

[Joseph Schiltra]

I am.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You bring me a message from Attenides based on information furnished by you. It's marvelous.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Your Excellency, I have it from no less an authority than Mr. Norden felt, the head of the firm I represent, that guns purchased from Crook with Russian money have been shipped into Bulgaria. And I at this very moment being moved up to our northern frontier. This is a disaster.

[Narrator/Announcer]

How many guns are.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, I have a list of them right here, sir. This is true. Greece is finished.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cannot hope to match a battery like this.

[Joseph Schiltra]

There's one way it might be accomplished, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

How would take weeks to get a shipment here?

[Joseph Schiltra]

There's a ship lying offshore outside the harbor at this Moment. Awaiting my order. It's carrying a cargo of guns and artillery that would more than match the new Bulgarian batteries. Yes, but alas, the shipment, sir, is consigned to the Turkish army.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Did you say this ship is awaiting your orders?

[Joseph Schiltra]

That's correct.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Then order it into the harbor. As a Greek, it is your duty

[Joseph Schiltra]

to let us have those guns. Why? It might cost me my job.

[Narrator/Announcer]

How much does not until payo.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Five pounds sterling a week is the

[Narrator/Announcer]

price of your patriotism.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Five pound sterling a week? No, I was thinking of a somewhat larger sum. And that is a thousand pounds sterling in cash.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Young man, you'll come to a bad end.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, that may be, your Excellency. That may be, but somehow, rather, I must make a beginning. How dare you?

[Narrator/Announcer]

How dare you use my name to

[Joseph Schiltra]

extort money from the government. I had intended to split this money with you, Mr. Antonides, but since you feel this way about it.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, you think you're very clever. A thousand pound bribe, a few thousand commission. But you killed the goose that laid your golden eggs. A half off. You're finished.

[Joseph Schiltra]

You hear me? Finished. Very good. That suits me very well, Mr. Antonides. I'm leaving Athens anyway. Goodbye. I'm taking a train for Sophia tonight.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Now, I suppose you're going to try to sell a bigger shipment of guns to Bulgaria by showing them the receipts

[Joseph Schiltra]

from the Greek shipment. I'd be a fool if I didn't.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Ah, it will be another few thousand, but there it ends. When you're found out, your name will be poison in both countries. Then where will you go?

[Joseph Schiltra]

To Russia, sir. To Russia? To collect my bonus for having diverted that shipment from Turkey to Green.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This is a dangerous game you're playing. Greek neutrality is already in a delicate balance. Oh, till few maneuvers like this might

[Joseph Schiltra]

be all it would take to plunge

[Narrator/Announcer]

us into this war.

[Joseph Schiltra]

I'll let you politicians make the wars. I'll furnish the guns.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, have you not one spark of patriotism?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Why, certainly, sir. I will always be willing to sell Greece. As many guns as you can pay for.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Welcome to Stockholm. Congratulations on those magnificent sales to Greece and Bulgaria.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Thank you, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Tell me, how did you manage it?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, I studied some of the principles of salesmanship, Mr. Norton.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Indeed, you must have. I don't mind telling you, I consider you our most valuable salesman at the present time.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Thank you, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I am even considering granting you a rise in salary, say, to £10 a week.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, well, that is most generous of you, Mr. Norton.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And I'm giving you a chance to triple that if you Succeed in the new mission I have in mind for you.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes. What is that, sir?

[Narrator/Announcer]

I am sending you to Paris on a job of a most confidential nature. Briefly, this is the problem. Some mysterious personage has been cornering Nordenfeld stock through some rather unethical maneuvering on the bush. I want to find out who that man is.

[Joseph Schiltra]

And when you find out?

[Narrator/Announcer]

I don't know what I shall do. But unless we put a stop to his operations, I shall wake up some morning and find myself with a new partner. This firm has always been in the Norton Pen family. It would be a terrible blow to me and to Sweden should it fall

[Joseph Schiltra]

into the hands of foreign speculators. I am sorry you take this narrow view of it, Mr. Norton. Eh? Rosette Zahara, the man who's been buying your stocks in Paris. Your new partner, sir, is myself.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You. You're joking, of course.

[Joseph Schiltra]

No, no, no, no, no, Mr. Lordmarth, not at all. I am your new business partner.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Congratulations. I'm grateful. Whom are you acting as agent for?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Basil Zahara.

[Narrator/Announcer]

That's ridiculous. How on earth could you manage to raise all that money?

[Joseph Schiltra]

Now, look, there's no reason we shouldn't know each other's secrets now that we are partners. Mr. Norton. The checks for the Bulgarian orders were made out in my name at the insistence of the Bulgarian minister, of course, and deposited in my personal account in Paris.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You impel.

[Joseph Schiltra]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I borrowed it for a few days only, boss. Nord stock forced it up and borrowed against the stock I hold to retrieve alone, sir, you will find my accounts with you accurate to the penny of

[Narrator/Announcer]

all the dishonest rep.

[Joseph Schiltra]

The nor. If we are to be partners, we had better be friends. If you show a cooperative spirit, you will have no cause to regret our association. Now then, to begin with, sir, our production must be greatly increased. Austria Hungary is arming as fast as you can. And we must be able to. Supplier. As soon as we have completed the reorganization of our company, sir, I am leaving for Vienna to close our deal with the Austro Hungarian government.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Not so fast. You've made a very clever beginning. But selling to a great empire is not quite the same as selling to little Balkan countries. The great powers will buy only the newest contrivances, the most up to date. Weapons.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Quite, sir, quite. We will supply them.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'm not so sure we can. There's a man in Vienna now, an American named Hiram Maxim. He has invented a new weapon which he calls a machine gun.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Machine gun?

[Narrator/Announcer]

A gun that will fire several hundred shots A minute. He holds a patent on the device, and my experts tell me it cannot be made without his patent.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Has he demonstrated this gun yet?

[Narrator/Announcer]

He will give a demonstration of it before the Emperor Franz Joseph next week.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Very good. I better leave, Fabiana. Tonight. It's quite hopeless. You can't hope to compete with Maxim, Mr. Nordenfeld. We have a saying in the Levant. If you want to destroy a man, first make him your partner.

[Narrator/Announcer]

An astounding invention, Mr. Maxim. Yes, this certainly beats anything Nordenfeld has shown us. Mr. Zahara.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Your Majesty, it fires rapidly, but you can't win a war with one gun.

[Narrator/Announcer]

How many of these can you deliver, Mr. Maxim? Well, your majesty, I'd have to take some time.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, yes, precisely, your majesty, precisely. A weapon like this, sir, with hundreds of precision parts put together with the art of a jeweller. Mr. Maxim, how long did it take you to construct a this one model?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, three years.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, yes, yes, thank you. Just as I thought, just as I thought. You see, your Majesty, brilliant as Mr. Maxim invention is, it's thoroughly impractical, I'm afraid, to manufacture in sufficient quantities to equip a great army such as yours, your majesty, why, it simply couldn't be done.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Now, look here, Mr. Zaharoff. There's something in what Mr. Zaharoff says.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Father. Yes, I never thought of that.

[Narrator/Announcer]

It is a fascinating toy, Mr. Maxim, but I'm afraid that's all it ever will be.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Good day, your Majesty. Good day, your majesty. Better luck next time, Maxim. Next time.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You realize that I invested my life savings in that demonstration today. I even haven't even got the fare back to the States.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Oh, I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do, I'd be very happy to advance you a small amount for the steamship fare, second class.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'll just bet you would. I will not take any of your charity. See, I'm going to stay here and fight.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Supposing you succeed in getting an order for your machine guns. Where will you get the capital to build a factory?

[Narrator/Announcer]

If I can show an order for a hundred or more, any bank in Europe will finance me, and you know it.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Why be content with a hundred? If Austria orders a hundred, England will

[Narrator/Announcer]

order a thousand, Germany will order 5,000,

[Joseph Schiltra]

and France will order 10,000. The race will be on. But you haven't even a plan. It will be a year at least before you can get into production.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'd rather not make too many of them anyway.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Good heavens, man, are you completely mad?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Would be madness to use a weapon like this. In such a large scale, casualties on both sides would be unthinkable.

[Joseph Schiltra]

It's the business of statesmen to worry about casualties. You and I merely furnish the guns. If they're stupid enough to kill each other, off with them. It's none of our affair.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Sorry, I can't see it that way.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Look at it this way. With this invention, you can buy into every armament firm in Europe. Maximum. In a position like that, you could exercise influence over the government. You could certainly control the production of arms.

[Narrator/Announcer]

But I'm not an international financier. I'm only an inventor. Engineer.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Make you the most powerful man in Europe overnight.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, that's a crazy way to talk.

[Joseph Schiltra]

It would be easy. Come now. Come now, Maxim, listen. As competitors, we only do each other harm. Why not be partners?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, what's in it for me?

[Joseph Schiltra]

A full partnership in Northern Fell.

[Narrator/Announcer]

But I thought you were just a salesman.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes, I am. And that's why I can offer you with confidence a full partnership in Nordenfeld of Sweden. No strings attached. You understand? It will be Maxim and Nordenfeld tomorrow. Your name first. Well, Maxim, how about it?

[Narrator/Announcer]

All right, Zahara, let's be partners. If you want to destroy a man, first make him your partner. With the formation of the new armaments firm of Maxim and Nordenfeld, it was announced today, Mr. Nordenfeld, the founder of the firm, would retire from active participation in the business. Mr. Nordenfeld's duties will be taken over by a newcomer, Mr. Basil Sahara. The firm of Maxim and Nordenfeld today merged with the British armaments firm of Vickers Limited. It was announced that Mr. Maxim would retire from active participation in the business. Mr. Maxim's duties will be taken over by Mr. Basil Zaharo. Upon the merger of the firm of Armstrong and Brown with Vickers Limited, it was announced that Mr. Albert Vickers would retire from active participation in the business. Mr. Vickers duties will be taken over by Mr. Vassal. Zahara.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Excuse me, mademoiselle, is this place taken? Why, no, monsieur. Won't you join me? Thank you. I thought perhaps you were waiting for your husband. My husband never travels with me. Oh, if I were in his place, mademoiselle, you would never travel alone. You're very gallant. Not the fabulous Monsieur Zaharoff. Am I that fabulous? Oh, and mysterious, too. So the newspapers. Afraid, in this case, madame, you are the mysterious one. Oh, I'm sorry. I am Maria Diquesa de via Franca de los caballeros. Your Highness, I am deeply honored. It's a pity that I meet you while I'M yet a commoner. You expect to receive a title? Well, after all, madame, I can't marry you without some sort of title. But monsieur, you've only just met me. Yes, I know. I'm very good at snap judgments. I've never made a mistake. Never made a mistake? No, you're not even human. Some people insist that I actually am the incarnation of Satan. Tell me, monsieur, is it true that you go around staring up wars and creating troubles among the nations in order to sell guns to them? What nonsense. I am merely a salesman. A simple salesman. Now take this trip, for instance. I'm on my way to Greece, my home. By the way, I have here with me the plans for a submarine. A boat, madame, that will sail under the water. You intend to sell the submarines only to Greece or to all the nations? I can't help myself. You see, Greece will buy two because I will tell them Turkey already has one. Turkey will buy four because Greece Russia will buy 10 because Turkey has four. And Germany will buy a whole fleet because of Russia. Britain will buy a bigger fleet because of Germany. And so it goes. Am I to blame for the stupidity of nations? You know, there is something rather satanic about you. Those cold gray eyes and that little pointed goatee. Could I tempt you, your highness? Perhaps. In the meantime, please remember that I am a married woman. Yes, and I am still a commoner.

[Narrator/Announcer]

25,000 guns. 240,000 machine guns. 4 million rifles. 258,000 high explosive shells. 3,190,135 British casualties. Such were the services of Basil Zaharo to the British Empire in the first World War. And his reward, Basil Zahara. For extraordinary services to the empire in

[Joseph Schiltra]

time of war and for assistance in the preparation of our peacetime defenses, I dub the knight Grand Cross of the British Empire. Arise, Sir Basil.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And so the little street urchin of Constantinople became a great prince and lived with the princess in blissful happiness in their castle on the river Oise. If death had not claimed the princess, they might have lived happily ever after. And there might have been no World War II. But before many years had passed, the goat bearded gentleman with a satanic face once more appeared in the capitals of Europe. And the very sight of him struck terror to the hearts of well meaning statesmen. Once more the name of Basil Zaharoff began to make news. March 15, 1920. A new banking syndicate has been formed in Greece with Sir Basil Zaharoff as its director. As Sir Vassal arrived in Athens, the Greek army was mobilizing for an offensive against Turkey. Sebastil Zaharoff, Warmaker, extraordinary, has done it again. Following a Zaharoff financial agreement with the House of Mitsubishi, the Japanese army is concentrating troops in Korea in preparation for an onslaught on the Chinese province of Ventura. The Vassil Zaharo arrived in Rome today on the eve of Senor Mussolini's declaration of war against Ethiopia. One of the notable Europeans wintering in Spanish Morocco this season is Sir Basil Saharo. General Francisco Franco, leader of the insurgent forces against the Spanish Republic, give a banquet in his honor. He had the stage set for his second Great War. But he was not to live to see it through. In 1936, socialites arriving early for the season in Monte Carlo noticed a petulant old man in a wheelchair being trundled about the grounds of the Hotel de Paris. Only a few realized that he owned the casino in which they had come to gamble and was the undisputed dictator of the soil upon which they tried. An ill tempered old man bundled up in an overcoat, a heavy steamer rug across his knees, shivering in the midsummer weather, wincing at the balmy breezes that wafted gently in from the warm Mediterranean across the Bay of Monaco.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Seems to me the the winters are not so warm here as they used to. Stupid. Yes, Sir Basil. Look. Look at those fools rushing up to the casino to lose their money. Why don't they save it and invest it? They should do that, shouldn't they? All it. Yes, Sir Basil. They don't even know that I own the casino. As I fool them all, don't I? Only. Yes. You know how we are. Such a close mouth. Scoundrel. I'm going to tell you why I bought this ridiculous principality of Monte Carlo. The papers said I bought it for a plaything. Idiots. Don't they realize I had to do something like this? Now I'm so old I can't get around anymore. Now those kings and queens and idiotic prime ministers have to come to me. And when they lose their fortunes at the gaming tables, I make their losses good for them. And they make my losses good for me. You see, Henri? And they get home again. They always get their war ministers to send me a nice fat order. Your employer is a pretty fy old gentleman, are we? Yes, Sir Basil. Did you send that letter I told you off to Ballancourt? Yes, sir. Daddy, listen. I want to be placed in the tomb right beside the duchess. You remember that? Yes, sir. Dazzle. And make sure the steam heating is in operation at all times. If I can't get warm in this accursed cold climate I'm forced to live in. At least I shall be warm in my tomb, Eh, Henri? Yes, Sir Basil. I'm heading. It's getting shady here, Henri. Thrill me over there in the sun by that rose bush. I was always fond of roses.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'm cold.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Yes. Can't anyone, anywhere say anything to me? But yes.

[Narrator/Announcer]

It is a gray November day in the year 1936. The Chateau de Balloncourt, near Bontoise in France. A long black car decorated with funeral plumes moved slowly up the long winding road. In the funeral car and a severely plain ebony box lie the mortal remains of the Master of Valancour, Sir Basil Zahara, Knight Grand Cross of the British Empire, Knight Grand Cross of the Band, Grand Cross of the Legion of Honor, Member of the Order of Franz Joseph, recipient of the Kaiser Wilhelm Medal, Grandee of Spain, Greek Order of the Savior, Order of the Ottoman Empire, and Regent of Monte Carlo. At the door of the chapel on the estate grounds at Ballon Cour, the funeral car draws to a halt and a company of liveried servants lift the ebony box and carry it to its final resting place. Thus, without ceremony and without fanfare, with no mourners save his secretarial staff and household servants, the man who died dominated Europe through the crucial years of two centuries is laid away in his final resting place.

[Joseph Schiltra]

Well, that's done.

[Narrator/Announcer]

There's only one thing that still puzzles me. What's that?

[Joseph Schiltra]

He's wanting a steam heated tomb. He won't need any heat where he's. Foreign.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This is Joseph Shim, crowd, your guide

[Joseph Schiltra]

tonight on our final journey into the Land of Increase. I hope you have enjoyed these summer excursions as much as I've enjoyed acting as your guide. I wish to thank Frank Graham, the narrator on tonight's show. Also Tom Collins, Romero and Stone, Jay Novello, Pat McGee, Alec Harper, George N. Norman Field and James Matthews, who have been more or less regular members of our company. For the words of Robert Tallman and the music of Luck Lufton, my thanks for a job well done To Charles Banda, a great bouquet for his production guidance. Good night and goodbye for now.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System Foreign.

[Relic Radio Host]

Visit relicradio.com for more of all the Relic Radio podcasts and our shoutcast stream with even more old time radio lots to listen to there, all made possible by your support. If you'd like to help out, visit donate. Relicradio.com or click on the support link in the show notes. Thanks to those who have helped out. Thanks for joining me this week. I'll be back tomorrow with the Horror and next Friday with our next episode of Relic Radio Thrillers.