Podcast Summary: "The Time Machine Affair" by Europe Confidential

Relic Radio Thrillers | RelicRadio.com | Aired: September 12, 2025
Featuring: Lionel Merton as Mike Kanoy
Host: Basil Rathbone (Intro/Outro)

Overview

This episode of Relic Radio Thrillers dives into a classic caper of crime and deception in postwar Paris, wrapped in a tale of alleged time travel. American newspaperman Mike Kanoy, operating from Paris, finds himself embroiled in a story involving a so-called “time machine,” an eccentric inventor, millions in gold, and, crucially, his friend Pierre’s mischievous Alsatian dog, Bruno. The story unfolds in a playful noir tone, blending suspense, skepticism, and light-hearted humor.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. The Unwelcome Favor and Initial Hook

• Setting the Stage: Mike Kanoy introduces Pierre Patriau, his troublesome but affable friend, and Pierre’s enormous, exuberant dog, Bruno. Pierre asks Mike to care for Bruno while he travels to Rome, luring Mike with the promise of an exclusive story.
• Introduction of the Time Machine (03:30):
  Pierre hints: “And in return for your kind elf, Mike, mon ami, I am going to give you a big story for your car. Oh, a very big story. An exclusive one too, about a time machine.”
• Skepticism and Humor:
  Mike’s tone is dry and playful, admitting, "I locked Bruno up in my sitting room and went out to see Dr. Jagal, as Pierre had suggested. I found his address in the telephone directory." (07:15)

2. Meeting Dr. Jagal and Failed Interview

• Mike visits Dr. Jagal, who quickly rebuffs his questions about time travel, threatening to call the police.
  • Notable quote (10:19, Dr. Jagal): “Get off my property before I call the police. Have I made myself clear?”
• Mike returns home to discover Bruno has wreaked havoc in his apartment.

3. Trespassing and Discovery

• On a hunch, Mike snoops around Jagal’s house at night and is knocked out by Jagal’s assistant, Jean (13:10).
• After coming to, Jagal offers a bargain: Mike can see the time machine, but mustn’t publish the story for two days (16:25).

4. The “Time Machine” Demonstration

• Description of the Machine:
  Mike observes: “Jagal's workshop looked like a combination of Frankenstein's laboratory and an amateur radio hams transmitting room. And right in the center stood a solid steel box about 8ft square.” (17:30)
• Demo:
  Jagal steps into the machine and, through a show of dials and switches, appears to disappear for five minutes, returning as promised.
  • Mike’s disbelief: “That sort of thing just can't happen. But it had.” (22:14)

5. The Investors and the Con

• Purpose of the Machine:
  Jagal reveals his plan: he and Jean will take millions in gold into the future, return with inventions worth billions (24:20).
  • Quote (Jagal): “We will ensure that this machine remains the only one in existence. ... Jean and I will make a hundred year trip into the future. … The inventions will be priceless.”
• Mike is invited to witness the grand “journey” scheduled for the next day.

6. The Sting is Set

• Mike secretly investigates the machine, finds a hidden trapdoor and a tunnel under the machine (28:00).
• He plans to expose the scam and uses Bruno, locking the dog in the tunnel connected to the trapdoor.

7. Climax: The Exposure

• Investors assemble with the gold; Jagal and Jean “depart for the future” (31:45).
• Mike exposes the ruse:
  • He reveals the trapdoor’s real purpose and the planned escape.
  • Quote (Mike, 33:08): “His journey was not into the future. He had no intention of coming back. If I were you gentlemen, I'd ring for the gendarmes.”
• Bruno, the dog, causes a commotion that draws everyone’s attention to the tunnel.

8. Resolution and Revelations

• It is revealed Dr. Jagal is a habitual confidence man with a history of convictions.
• The investors thank Mike for foiling the plot.
• Bruno, now a hero, is returned to Pierre, having happily eaten through Mike’s shoe collection.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Pierre’s persuasion:
  “In return for your kind elf Mike, mon ami, I am going to give you a big story for your car. Oh, a very big story. An exclusive one too, about a time machine.” (03:35)
• On Jagal’s hospitality:
  “Get off my property before I call the police. Have I made myself clear?” – Dr. Jagal (10:19)
• Mike’s skepticism:
  “I happen to be a guy who doesn't believe in fairies, Santa Claus, flying saucers or time machines. At least up to that moment I didn't. But right before my eyes, almost, a man had disappeared into the future.” (22:14)
• Jagal’s ambition:
  “My fortune? You are inquisitive, aren't you?... We will ensure that this machine remains the only one in existence.” (24:20)
• The grand reveal:
  “Trapdoor. Hidden beneath that metal plate it leads to a tunnel which emerges at the end of the doctor's garden. ... His journey was not into the future. He had no intention of coming back.” (33:08)
• On Bruno’s involvement:
  "Bruno didn't attack them. He just wanted to be friendly. But J. Gall and John weren't to know that." (34:10)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Intro & setting the stage: 00:11 – 03:15
• Pierre’s favor & time machine hook: 03:15 – 07:10
• First visit to Dr. Jagal: 07:10 – 11:00
• Nighttime snooping & being caught: 13:10 – 16:20
• Time machine demonstration: 17:30 – 23:00
• Explanation of the scam: 24:00 – 28:00
• Mike’s late-night investigation: 28:00 – 29:50
• Grand event with investors: 31:45 – 33:00
• Climax & Mike’s big reveal: 33:00 – 35:00
• Conclusion and wrap-up: 35:00 – end

Tone & Style

The episode strikes a balance between hard-boiled skepticism and the lightheartedness of caper comedies, with smooth banter, dry wit, and playfully self-aware narration from Mike Kanoy. The dialogue is brisk and sprinkled with period expressions and Franco-American flavor.

Final Thoughts

"The Time Machine Affair" is a charming blend of classic radio suspense and tongue-in-cheek detective work, serving up a con-artist story disguised as a science-fiction mystery. The “time travel” plot is ultimately unmasked as a get-rich-quick scam, with the real heroics belonging to sharp instinct—and, humorously, to a very hungry Alsatian. The episode is a testament to the delight of old-time radio mystery, classic misdirection, and a protagonist you can root for.