90s Kinda Dating

Summary

ReLiving Single Podcast Episode Summary: "90s Kinda Dating"

Release Date: May 21, 2025

Welcome to a detailed exploration of Episode "90s Kinda Dating" from the ReLiving Single podcast, hosted by the iconic sitcom stars and lifelong friends, Erica Alexander and Kim Coles. In this episode, Erika and Kim delve deep into the nuances of dating in the 1990s, intertwining personal anecdotes with insightful analyses of memorable moments from the beloved sitcom Living Single. Whether you're a seasoned fan or new to the series, this episode offers a rich tapestry of humor, nostalgia, and thoughtful discourse on the evolution of relationships.

---

1. Personal First Date Experiences

The episode kicks off with Erica and Kim sharing their very first dating experiences, setting the stage for a conversation that combines personal vulnerability with relatable humor.

• Kim Coles reflects on her cautious approach to dating:
  "Well, I actually waited a long time to date everyone or everyone seemed to be pregnant. And so in my mind, dating led to pregnancy and you know, Nah, I didn't want to be pregnant. I was terrified of that." [00:03]

• Erica Alexander contrasts her own dating style:
  "I have a very different experience because I'm a terrible first dater because I date and then I make them my boyfriend right away." [01:13]

2. Revisiting a Classic Date from the Show

Erica and Kim transition into discussing a specific Living Single episode where the character Sinclair navigates the complexities of dating in a big city.

• They recount how Sinclair was set up on a date and the friends' involvement in overseeing her romantic endeavors:
  "It's time for the rewind where we watch and relive living single with you." [02:27]

• Kim Coles highlights Sinclair's naivety and Overton's persistent affection:
  "Overton's like, I don't get it. You know that. That doesn't appeal to him." [07:07]

3. The Dynamics Between Sinclair and Overton

A significant portion of the episode delves into the evolving relationship between Sinclair and Overton, two beloved characters whose chemistry was central to the show's success.

• Erica Alexander praises Overton's genuine character:
  "He was so sweet, so kind. Just easy to be around." [14:44]

• They discuss the subtle hints and audience anticipation surrounding their relationship development:
  "You can tell by the audience's reaction that they had already bought into something that they felt was beginning to happen." [07:56]

4. Comparing 90s Dating to Modern-Day Practices

Erica and Kim take a nostalgic stroll through the dating landscape of the 1990s, juxtaposing it with today's digital advancements.

• Erica Alexander reminisces about traditional dating methods:
  "Paging someone like it was a love letter." [33:14]

• Kim Coles contrasts this with contemporary online dating challenges:
  "A lot of people are saying there's too many masculine women. What does that mean?" [39:00]

5. Character Insights and Development

The hosts provide deeper insights into character traits and their significance in both the show and real-life dynamics.

• Kim Coles emphasizes Overton's depth beyond comic relief:
  "They can be funny, but they have to still be men and still have, you know, important things to say and still have interests and not there just to serve the comedy." [27:22]

• Erica Alexander discusses Sinclair's purity and its impact on viewers:
  "There is a softness, there is a masculinity, a femininity that... she's all feminine." [39:28]

6. Listener Engagement: "True Blue" Segment

Towards the end of the episode, Erica and Kim engage with their listeners through the "True Blue" segment, answering questions and sharing personal preferences.

• A listener from D.C., Janae J., asks about favorite 90s black male celebs they wished their characters could date on the show.

  • Kim Coles expresses admiration for Billy Dee Williams:
    "I love Billy Dee because he was with Diana Ross and he says, what, do you want my arm to fall off?" [44:14]

  • Erica Alexander shares her fondness for LL Cool J:
    "LL Cool J would be my spoon. He's a Capricorn. He licks his lips." [46:06]

7. Reflections on the Show's Legacy and Modern Relevance

Concluding the episode, the hosts reflect on how Living Single has influenced modern perceptions of dating and relationships, especially within the Black community.

• Erica Alexander highlights the show's unique portrayal of love and authenticity:
  "If Sinclair and Overton were on a white show, they would have won an Emmy." [28:33]

• Kim Coles underscores the importance of authentic relationships and avoiding stereotypes:
  "We didn't want to turn into Lenny and Squiggy. These guys... they have important things to say." [27:37]

8. Tribute to Late Actor Tommy Michael Ford

The episode takes a poignant turn as Erica and Kim pay tribute to Tommy Michael Ford, an actor fondly remembered for his role and personal kindness.

• Erica Alexander remarks on Tommy's legacy:
  "He was a great father. And a great dad showed up." [48:59]

• Kim Coles emphasizes his professional ethic and the impact of his loss:
  "He went very early and it was shocking to all of us." [49:14]

---

Conclusion

In "90s Kinda Dating," Erica Alexander and Kim Coles masterfully blend humor, personal stories, and critical analysis to celebrate Living Single and its enduring impact on the portrayal of Black relationships in media. Through memorable quotes and heartfelt discussions, they offer listeners both a nostalgic trip down memory lane and a thoughtful examination of how far dating practices have come since the 1990s.

Whether reminiscing about beepers and mixtapes or contemplating the complexities of modern online dating, this episode serves as a testament to the timeless themes of love, friendship, and authenticity that Living Single championed. Join Erica and Kim each week as they continue to relive and celebrate the moments that made Living Single a cornerstone of television history.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "I actually waited a long time to date everyone or everyone seemed to be pregnant..." — Kim Coles [00:03]

• "I'm a terrible first dater because I date and then I make them my boyfriend right away." — Erica Alexander [01:13]

• "Drink, and I have to go. Can I drop you off on the way?" — John Hinton [21:28]

• "It's like we're two black men. We not gonna do that." — Kim Coles [27:25]

• "I have a high booty." — Erica Alexander [13:19]

• "Men feel very unaligned, not just dating, but with who they are in the world and their purpose." — Kim Coles [36:38]

• "We didn't want to turn into Lenny and Squiggy." — Erica Alexander [27:37]

• "He was a great father. And a great dad showed up." — Erica Alexander [48:59]

---

Hosts and Production Credits:

• Hosts: Erica Alexander and Kim Coles
• Production Team:
  • Executive Producers: Kevin Hart, Jeff Clanigan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander, Ben R. Nan
  • Produced by Kim Coles
  • Senior Producer: Amber Watson
  • Associate Producer: Kenny Jackson
  • Video Editor: Shannon Joy Rogers
  • Sound Engineers: Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson
  • Production Supervision: Razak Boykin
  • Additional Production Support: Alex Atkins and Z. Taylor
  • Special Thanks: Dr. E.J. Johnson

Connect with ReLiving Single:

Share your thoughts, questions, and experiences by visiting relivingsinglepodcastartbeat.com. Join Erica and Kim every week as they continue to celebrate and dissect the moments that made Living Single a beloved classic.

Transcript

[Erica Alexander]

So, Erica, what was your very first date like?

[Kim Coles]

Well, I actually waited a long time to date everyone or everyone seemed to be pregnant. And so in my mind, dating led to pregnancy and you know, Nah, I didn't want to be pregnant. I was terrified of that.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I remember that. I get it.

[Kim Coles]

But, you know, my first date was with a dude named Richard Lyons.

[Erica Alexander]

It's Richard. He was on the show. He played your boyfriend.

[Kim Coles]

He did. He played my boyfriend. He's an actor from Philly.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, I love Richard.

[Kim Coles]

Cool guy.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, I love Richard to this day. And you know, he's a well sought after acting coach and director. He works with Queen Latifah all the time. And just as an inside. You all can hear Richard every week on Living Single because he had this distinctive laugh. And to this day, if you listen to the show, you can hear his laugh. You wanna do his laugh together? Here we go. You're immortalized. Richard, we love you.

[Kim Coles]

You know, we actually met in Philadelphia at Freedom Theater in a play called Under Pressure. And he took me to eat and you know, I was very shy. I was a virgin. I promise. Anyway, we dated and stayed together for eight years. And he came to LA and got on the show. He's a good dude, honest. He protected me. We're still friends? Yes. Why do you ask?

[Erica Alexander]

Well, I ask cause I have a very different experience because I'm a terrible first dater because I date and then I make them my boyfriend right away.

[Kim Coles]

Wow.

[Erica Alexander]

I mean, that's kind of what happened.

[Kim Coles]

To you, but like, that didn't happen to me. Now that's encouraging to somebody. Well, you know what? Dating's tough.

[Erica Alexander]

Dating is. I know that dating is tough. And I know that Sinclair had it rough because she was very sheltered and you know, from Minnesota and.

[Kim Coles]

Minnesota. Wow. I hear that's a trash dating pool. Erica, don't say that. No, I mean, yeah, allegedly. I mean, have you seen the last season of Love is Blind?

[Erica Alexander]

I don't even know. Do you know what that is?

[Kim Coles]

No, I haven't seen it, but you know, I can imagine.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay.

[Kim Coles]

You know, we had better options in Brooklyn. Thank you. At least they cast better people for us to date.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you for that. We had some good ones, didn't you?

[Kim Coles]

Sure enough.

[Erica Alexander]

Welcome back to Reliving C, the official unofficial Living Single Rewatch podcast. Yes.

[Kim Coles]

So, okay. Kim, how are you?

[Erica Alexander]

I am excellent. I'm enjoying this with you. This is fun. How about you?

[Kim Coles]

I'm good. I have had some existential thoughts, you know, sort of questioning my choices lately and really worried about garbage in the environment. But other than that, you know, and world peace, too, you know, and women's rights. Women's rights and all that. But other than that.

[Erica Alexander]

Trade wars.

[Kim Coles]

Yes. And my bunion hurts.

[Erica Alexander]

But other than that, tariffs. Come.

[Kim Coles]

Come on.

[Erica Alexander]

Other than that, all is well.

[Kim Coles]

Totally good.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. Let's talk about this episode. Sinclair went on a date.

[Kim Coles]

Yes.

[Erica Alexander]

And you all helped me get ready for the date. I believe it's called Whose Date Is It Anyway? Whose Date Is It Anyway?

[Kim Coles]

Whose Date Is It Anyway? Right.

[Erica Alexander]

So the girl set me up on a date, and you all show up to spy on me to make sure that it goes well and make sure that I take your dating advice.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Cause it's the third episode in now the first season, and Sinclair and Khadijah have obviously been introduced as characters and family and those types of things. We know that she's a very innocent and beautiful spirit from Minnesota and all of that, but she's also a man magnet for Overton. Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Overton already has the eyes for her, and I don't think she got it yet again because she's sort of naive and been sheltered. So she likes him and enjoys him, but she doesn't get like, you know, that this could be, like, a thing. And we know that this is the. You all set me up on a date?

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Yeah, we set you up on a date with somebody else because we don't know that that's necessarily happening. And you have complained that you want to go on a date. I mean, you're sort of saying, I want to be out there.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm in the big city now.

[Kim Coles]

So you got your sisters in place, and we gonna hook you up and.

[Erica Alexander]

Because Overton hasn't made his move, and he's not listening to Kyle to make his move, y' all swoop somebody else up in there. And I would like to thank you. I'd like to thank the producers. I'd like to thank the universe.

[Kim Coles]

Let's watch.

[Erica Alexander]

It's time for the rewind where we watch and relive living single with you. I just want someone who's kind and gentle and sensitive and loves all plants and animals. So you're saying there's nobody out there like that?

[Kim Coles]

Yes. A shepherd.

[Erica Alexander]

Now, come on, y' all. There's gotta be somebody. Hello. Hi.

[John Hinton]

Hey. Once again, I am victorious in the battle of man versus machine. So what you up to?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, they're setting me up on a date.

[John Hinton]

A date with a dude.

[Erica Alexander]

Maybe even a shepherd.

[John Hinton]

I Used to be a shepherd.

[Kim Coles]

Really?

[Erica Alexander]

So this is my first A story. Sinclair's first A story. And you all are seeing this pattern of A stories and B stories, but they all blend beautifully together. And the writers are showing Sinclair's approach to what it would be like. And so she's been asked out on a date already by this doctor.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. So she didn't even need a setup.

[Erica Alexander]

She didn't need a setup.

[Kim Coles]

She was wearing that in her back pocket the whole time.

[Erica Alexander]

I didn't. I wasn't thinking, but I was listening to the advice. And I need somebody who's got this and has this and has to have a but and has to or no but no date. What? Great. Great. Right.

[Kim Coles]

Meanwhile, Overton comes down and hands you something. Finding any excuse, obviously, to come in and do anything for you, and then you lay that on him, that you're looking for a date. He actually can't imagine that.

[Erica Alexander]

Right, right. I love that line. Setting up on a date with a dude. Yeah, with a dude. Because, you know, he's like, this is my girl. You're my girl.

[Kim Coles]

And we also starting to see the greatness and the wonderfulness of Kim Coles. You're. Hello. That's one of your moves. Can you know what I'm talking about? Hello. Hello.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, you know, from watching all the great comedy on TV growing up, you know, this in the late 60s and the 70s. And so I'm really just pulling from all of my favorites. And so, you know, that little. Cause who does that in real life? But, you know, Sinclair. I got an idea. And so getting a chance to play. Cause I don't even know what the line said. It was like, hello. I was like, hello?

[Kim Coles]

But that's an improv.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, that's you.

[Kim Coles]

You know, we're improving inside of it.

[Erica Alexander]

And it's a beautiful thing, finding another element, another something.

[Kim Coles]

And now, of course, deepening the relationships between the characters. Right.

[Erica Alexander]

And I also love that Regine kind of throws it away. Like, you know, a man has walked into the room, a perfect, you know, nice looking, you know, viable guy. And. Yeah. Yeah. Now that we're done with that, now let's get back to you, you know, and finding. It's like there was somebody in the house and it was Overton. But y' all didn't see him that way.

[Kim Coles]

No, we don't see him at all.

[Erica Alexander]

No. And I don't see him yet.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, girl, you don't see nothing.

[Erica Alexander]

Not yet.

[Kim Coles]

Dude's all over. You might as well pee on your leg. That's how much he's, you know, digging on you. He wants to, you know, claim you sometimes.

[Erica Alexander]

But isn't that in life?

[Kim Coles]

I guess so. Sometimes we're intimidated by what we want and we sort of, you know, smell it and sniff it too long, and then somebod comes and grabs it up and takes it home like a bone.

[Erica Alexander]

So here's what's great. You can tell by the audience's reaction that they had already bought into something that they felt was beginning to happen. You know, this is just episode three. We've had little hints of Overton loving on Sinclair or being interested or being in, you know, something. Something was intriguing about who wouldn't be intrigued by Sinclair? But the audience felt his disappointment and they. I feel that they knew. Of course, Sinclair didn't know, but the audience already knew, like, aw. They knew that it could be something good there. Like, come on, girl, it's right in front of your face.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And they already seen that he missed a boat.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. But once y' all got me onto the fact that I might meet a shepherd, I was like, well, that's really interesting.

[Kim Coles]

That's hilarious.

[Erica Alexander]

It's hilarious.

[John Hinton]

Yo, Overton, man, I just made fun of your hammer. What's up, man? They sent Sinclair up on a date with a dude. Ooh, that's deep, man. Who you telling? Man, I done spent much trying to get with that girl. Fixing her radiator, fixing her coffee maker, refrigerator. Man, I was fixing stuff that wasn't even broke. But you never asked her out. Man, I been building up to. It was part of my big three point plan. See, year one, man, plan like that. Year two, you and that hammer gonna be catching a bouquet at Sinclair's wedding.

[Erica Alexander]

I love now that you're getting a deeper, richer look into the relationship between Kyle and Overton, that he can come in and tease him about his, you know, his hammer. And he sees that his buddy is down and like, why aren't you laughing, man? And what's going on? And you know, we're now getting more about Kyle, that he's a ladies man. We can tell. But now we know. And I love that. You know, the thing about Sinclair and Overton is that, you know, people sometimes say, well, y' all are dumb. It's like, Overton is not dumb. He gets this advice like, oh, so you're telling me all this and. Yeah, you're the master, huh?

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Okay, well, you know, in that clip you're showing that Overton is telling Kyle that he likes Sinclair. He's heartbroken to learn she has a date. Kyle then is coaching him. And now we're seeing the differences between Kyle and Overton and their approach. And obviously, one is much more. I don't know what. What is Kyle? Would you say more.

[Erica Alexander]

More direct?

[Kim Coles]

Tiger?

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

More.

[Erica Alexander]

Proprietary.

[Kim Coles]

Proprietary or something A little bit more.

[Erica Alexander]

Stereotypical and territorial or something.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Like masculine.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, like, go for it. Aggressive. And Overton's like, I don't get it. You know that. That doesn't appeal to him.

[Erica Alexander]

He's got a four year plan to get.

[Kim Coles]

That's nuts. Did he say four or three years?

[Erica Alexander]

He said, I think it was a multi year plan. Year one. So here's what's great about the writing there is that we don't even know how many years he's going to plan this, but year one, this is what the plan is like. No, no, no. Let's stop that right now.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

No, that's never gonna happen.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

The other thing that they did so masterfully in the writing of this episode is something called the callback. So we see in the apartment, Overton says, they're setting you up, what, with a dude. And in the hallway, Kyle repeats the line, what? With a dude. And so that's just sitcom heaven.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

And comedy heaven, I think.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. So we're looking at two black men dating styles in Brooklyn.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Totally different. Trying to get the girl. There's got to be disaster in front of them.

[Erica Alexander]

Disaster ensues because I think you all get me ready for this date, because I've already been asked out on the date. It ain't gonna be a shepherd.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

It's a doctor.

[Kim Coles]

It's gonna be no shepherd.

[Erica Alexander]

Ooh, look at you.

[Kim Coles]

Which one of these two blind ladies did Jamaica.

[Erica Alexander]

Anyway? Sinclair. Just be sure to be a good lady. And if Michael says anything even remotely humorous, be sure and use the date laugh. Date laugh.

[Kim Coles]

Mm.

[Erica Alexander]

You put one hand on your date, one hand on your chest. See, it's the kind of laugh that says, I'm amused. And I have these. So look at this sisterhood.

[Kim Coles]

Loony Ben. Right? Loony bin of advice.

[Erica Alexander]

All caring enough to get me ready for this date. Because this is a good catch. He's a doctor.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, that's true. But you know, it's funny. They're putting you in makeup. And I know the Khadijah character, Dana, doesn't like it, but I never really realized right until now that she takes a napkin and wipes it out. And wipes it out.

[Erica Alexander]

Cause it's too much. Cause y' all are making me look like a harlot. Well, Regine is making me look like a harlot.

[Kim Coles]

That's true.

[Erica Alexander]

It's just too much. And it's not me. And I guess as my older cousin, she's like, that's too much. You know, like, your mom didn't send you here to live with me for you to go out like that. And so that's a beautiful little touch. There's no line there other than her taking it.

[Kim Coles]

She's also protecting that innocent, old fashioned.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Sinclair. That she knows. You know, it will go along with things. People pleaser.

[Erica Alexander]

Very much.

[Kim Coles]

Actually. Sinclair is a huge people pleaser.

[Erica Alexander]

Huge. I'm. I'm falling over my words. Because that's something that we have in common, I will admit. Yes. Oh, absolutely. For sure. Oh, peacemaker. Please. Pleaser. Wants everybody to get along. Yeah. You know, she's listening.

[Kim Coles]

Your chaotic and your stability all in one. I like that.

[Erica Alexander]

Chaotic and stability all in one.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay.

[Kim Coles]

See, that's a people please. Yeah, I. I insulted you and softened it.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, but.

[Kim Coles]

And you said you like it.

[Erica Alexander]

I do like it because I know that in chaos can often be. I know that creativity can be chaos.

[Kim Coles]

Look at you trying to really work it. It's all good.

[Erica Alexander]

Receive it. I receive it of thank you. I'm assuming that you met that with light and love.

[Kim Coles]

I did. I was trying to. You know, but anyway.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay. You are all getting me ready for this date in your way, teaching me what I need to know from your perspective. This one is telling me to show my cleavage. You know, this one's doing my makeup. You're showing me how to walk. And you know, when I rewalked, my butt was. I was trying to get that swing.

[Kim Coles]

You got a booty and it's high.

[Erica Alexander]

I got a high booty. And so then that skirt, you know, was helping me out to make that swing look even better.

[Kim Coles]

You look like a cartoon mule.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you.

[Kim Coles]

Is that sexy?

[Erica Alexander]

It's funny. And that's what really matters.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

So now Michael's at the door. I love that Regine is gonna go get him for me so I can make an entrance.

[Kim Coles]

Exactly. And show off the goods.

[Erica Alexander]

Show off the goods.

[Kim Coles]

Very Pride and Prejudice evening.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, Michael Sinclair.

[John Hinton]

You look. You look incredible.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you. So, Michael, where will you be dining with our Sinclair this evening?

[John Hinton]

Well, if it's all right with Sinclair, I thought we'd try the rive gauche. I love French food.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, that sounds wonderful. Let's escargot. So what Made you want to become a veterinarian? Well, I've always loved animals.

[John Hinton]

Was always good in science, in school, and after I saw Dr. Doolittle, I was hooked.

[Erica Alexander]

Here you are, madame.

[John Hinton]

Would anybody care for something to drink?

[Kim Coles]

Water, please.

[John Hinton]

Three hors d' oeuvre?

[Kim Coles]

No, thank you. We'll just nibble on these biscuits here.

[John Hinton]

Well, bon appetit, then.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay, so let's talk about my date. My date is the one and only beloved, beloved Tommy Michael Ford.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, Just chocolatey delicious.

[Erica Alexander]

Chocolatey delicious. Handsome. He was so. I mean, he's no longer with us on this platform, but so sweet, so kind. Just easy to be around.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

And a lovely man.

[Kim Coles]

This is on Martin, which was our lead in, so it just really makes sense for him to be on Living Single, you know, and just shows a camaraderie, you know what I mean?

[Erica Alexander]

Come help cross pollinization.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. What was it like working with him?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, lovely. Because he's easy to work with. And I had done. I think I had already done an episode of Martin or something. You know, I'd been around him before. I did an episode of. Yeah, I was Bonquisha. Bonquisha. Me and Yo Yo. And Shanaynay.

[Kim Coles]

Yes, Lord have mercy.

[Erica Alexander]

And Tommy, of course, kind, sweet, funny, just like you see him. Lovely. Yeah, he was wonderful. And unaware of how, you know, there's. There's guys who, like, you know, obviously Dr. Edwards is, you know, being charming and handsome, but Tommy was unaware of how handsome and charming he was. I mean, it was a trying. No pretense at all. Yeah, just lovely, lovely. Easy on the eyes and sweet. Real sweet. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Lord. And I just also love how he kind of matched the Sinclair's innocence in his own masculine way. Right.

[Erica Alexander]

And she wanted a man who loved animals. I mean, he was a veterinarian, for heaven's sake. And he had his little corny jokes, and so it was like, kind of perfect, right? In that way, he's a doctor. And all of these little corny ways of being, which was very sweet. I'll tell you something else, too. There's a little quick shout out to you. You know, we're in a beautiful French restaurant, a high class French restaurant, and he said, do you want to order something? Nothing. We'll just eat these biscuits here. It's not a biscuit. It's like a, you know, beautiful fren roll or something. You're like, we just eat these biscuits. I don't know if that was in the script. I don't know if that was your improv.

[Kim Coles]

I don't think it's in the script. Yeah, but you know, the sort of aggressive nature of her is she's very dismissive.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. Like, I'm just gonna eat this biscuit.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. I'm just gonna eat these biscuits. Like, beat it. You know, and unapologetic. Yeah, we're just gonna eat these biscuits. No, no.

[Erica Alexander]

Like, we're just eating these biscuits.

[Kim Coles]

Eat these biscuits. No, get out my face. Yeah. Some water. Come on. And meantime, so the friends have come and they want to spy. Now there's Latifah, Khadija with them. She said she didn't want that. But she comes to keep an eye on us. Right, Keeping an eye on you. And then sits in the chair that can see you. And so they have to see what's going on through her eyes, which is not working. So they ask the waiter, who is not gonna get paid because we're not ordering anything, to send a note. So she orders something and sends the.

[Erica Alexander]

Note just for that.

[Kim Coles]

And it kind of blows the COVID And that's when you do your great laugh.

[John Hinton]

Then the penguin says, I'll have a martini.

[Erica Alexander]

Could you have a beer to the.

[John Hinton]

Guy I'm sitting on? Is there a problem, baby?

[Kim Coles]

Oh, no.

[Erica Alexander]

Just letting you know that I'm amused. And I have these. Hey, I gotta. I get the note and I gotta. And she's so naive. He said. He said, are you all right, baby? Which I love. Yeah, because I just reminding you that I'm amused. And I have these. She doesn't know how to pretend to be anything other than what she really is.

[Kim Coles]

What I love is that you can still do that high pitched laugh.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm amused. I have these. The other thing that's important to note is that we're in our world. And so far we've seen Flavor magazine, we've seen the Living Room where we're meeting the characters in the kitchen. All the basic sets. And we're now in a high class French restaurant. And so the audience is now getting a sense of us, you know, our lives really like, you know, now that it sort of feels more 3D.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Well, you know, the world is expanding, Yvette, very, I think smartly is saying that they're living single. And living single doesn't mean tied to an apartment. They've got to get out and so.

[Erica Alexander]

Or tied to work.

[Kim Coles]

Tied to work. That we're gonna have adventures outside of the thing. And that's cool.

[Erica Alexander]

And I like that we go to a high class place. This is not a chicken. You Know, chicken wing joint? No. This is beautiful.

[Kim Coles]

It's once again saying, speaking to their aspirations. But also, he's a doctor. Where would he take it?

[Erica Alexander]

Of course, Fancy French restaurant. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Overton might take you to a joint.

[Erica Alexander]

Right. How did you feel whenever we would have a set that was not our own set, did it take you a while to get used to it or to get comfortable in it or to make it your own in some kind of way?

[Kim Coles]

You know, I felt that way about Flavor magazine. I didn't necessarily like going in there.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay.

[Kim Coles]

It wasn't a place that Max visited that much, and I didn't really know what to do. But any place else outside of that, I felt free. Because, remember, I'm always visiting other people's sets.

[Erica Alexander]

Right.

[Kim Coles]

You know, that living room set is a place I'm coming into. But actually, Max is always entering somewhere new. Wow. She's multi dimensional.

[Erica Alexander]

She is multi dimensional. She becomes theory.

[Kim Coles]

That's string theory.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Should I go that far?

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, you could take it as far as you want to go.

[Kim Coles]

No doubt.

[Erica Alexander]

Now, a phone call, you know, another interruption comes and Sinclair's, no, sir, there will be no more interruptions. And we find out it's a call for Dr. Edwards.

[Kim Coles]

Right.

[Erica Alexander]

Which is actually kind of sexy if you think about it.

[Kim Coles]

Well, it's hot.

[Erica Alexander]

It's hot.

[Kim Coles]

Of course. He's a doctor.

[Erica Alexander]

Right.

[Kim Coles]

But what's the importance of you being yourself on a date, Kim? Do you feel like it's important?

[Erica Alexander]

Absolutely.

[Kim Coles]

Because we do have masks. Let's be honest.

[Erica Alexander]

We do have masks, but I think I learned early on, like, what you see is what you get. So there's, like, you know, the freshly fresh faced version of you. And I've never been a faker. Like, what you see is what you get. I'm going to pass gas. Enjoy. You may pass guests, too. Enjoy. I want you to.

[Kim Coles]

You're lying. Straight up.

[Erica Alexander]

Let me say this.

[Kim Coles]

In a relationship, I've watched you with guys go really? And just become very soft and subtle and. Don't. Don't. Come on.

[Erica Alexander]

30 years of knowing you, that's not inauthentic.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, so it's authentic for you to be my. This is nuts.

[Erica Alexander]

No, I have dialed up my femininity.

[Kim Coles]

Duh.

[Erica Alexander]

That part.

[Kim Coles]

Yup.

[Erica Alexander]

You've teased me about that. Now that I think about it, I'm.

[Kim Coles]

Just trying to get the truth to the people because you trying to act like I'm always authentically myself.

[Erica Alexander]

I am.

[Kim Coles]

You know, of course, every guy I ever meet, I date, is automatically My boyfriend. How do you think they get to be that way? If you were really authentically yourself, they probably would run screaming from the room.

[Erica Alexander]

How could you say this about me?

[Kim Coles]

Because we all doing masks.

[Erica Alexander]

No, I've had guys say to me, it's refreshing that you are authentic. I don't put on airs. Listen, I don't put on airs for long. I can't hold it that long. That's the thing.

[Kim Coles]

Long enough.

[Erica Alexander]

Long enough to travel.

[Kim Coles]

Well, there you go. So anyway, keep going with this date. Why? Is this turning terribly wrong? Not at all.

[Erica Alexander]

All right, so Dr. Edwards takes his call.

[John Hinton]

I'm really sorry. That was my service. Someone called in a panic about a dog.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, no.

[John Hinton]

Please forgive me. I have to go. Can I drop you off on the way?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, don't you worry about me. There's a puppy out there with a warm, dry nose who needs your help.

[Kim Coles]

Now go.

[John Hinton]

Thanks for the phone, man.

[Erica Alexander]

Overton. What are you doing here?

[John Hinton]

Oh, I always come here for the French fries.

[Erica Alexander]

Mind if I sit down? Oh, please, no.

[John Hinton]

I'd really be honored to have dinner with you tonight.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, well, so would I.

[John Hinton]

Hey, how I'm doing?

[Erica Alexander]

I love that. I love that. So now we have a repeat of what is happening with the girls. And Overton has found his way, and he's got a little. Now, do you think Kyle put him up to that?

[Kim Coles]

Of course he did. But I also think that that's more Overton style. That had nothing to do with maybe his approach, but he needed to disrupt that because, by the way, that was a great date. You weren't having a bad date?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, I was having a great date.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Yvette Wright.

[Kim Coles]

So it's actually a choice between competing goods, which is harder. If it was flopping, then you'd see why over 10 worked. But actually, even when he leaves, he says, okay. There's something soft and beautiful about his voice and very caring and comforting. He played that hit perfect.

[Erica Alexander]

He did. He kissed me on the cheek. The audience is now disappointed. Like, wow, this is a really good date for her. Okay, this would be a good catch. And I'm understanding as I would be and hopefully go help that puppy's nose or whatever it was.

[Kim Coles]

And speaking at the very top of your.

[Erica Alexander]

What is that voice? I don't know. Just turn on the hoop. But my way. That was my direction of. Right.

[Kim Coles]

That was your Wayne way.

[Erica Alexander]

What I also love about the richness of this episode is we have a callback in the first scene of a dude. A dude. And now we have another you call it a twin narrative where we see the women there checking in on Sinclair.

[Kim Coles]

Coaching her, and they want to see.

[Erica Alexander]

How she's doing and trying to fix the date to be the way they need it to be. And we find out that Kyle is doing the same thing. And it's revealed beautifully. How am I doing? And he's like, keep going, keep going.

[Kim Coles]

And so it's just actually. Because you almost forget about it.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kim Coles]

So. And it makes sense that the doctor gets a call and leaves, but we don't think that this is a setup to get him out of the way so that Overton can have a chance to come and Mac, you and Mack.

[Erica Alexander]

Me? He does. And that now Kyle gets to be the puppeteer. You all were the puppeteers for the first scene, and now Kyle gets to be the puppeteer.

[Kim Coles]

And, you know, now coming back to that, that is something that straight out of Shakespeare.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, for.

[Kim Coles]

Because that's, you know, Cyrano de Berziak.

[Erica Alexander]

Or like a comedy of errors.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, no, Cyrano de Berziak. It's coaching of the guy who cannot speak to the girl and he's whispering in her ear. That's the exact setup of Shakespeare.

[Erica Alexander]

I love it. Cyrano dead on. And a comedy of errors. Of like, how am I doing it? What? You know, all the things. And that's just great writing.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, thank you for such a wonderful evening.

[Kim Coles]

I never knew you were such a good bowler.

[John Hinton]

Oh, girl, I'm a man of many hidden talents.

[Erica Alexander]

Really? Like what else?

[John Hinton]

I don't know. They all hidden.

[Erica Alexander]

Thanks again.

[Kim Coles]

Good night.

[John Hinton]

Good night. Well, I guess I don't have to ask how the evening, seeing as how you're standing on this side of the door. Uh, buddy boy, check it out. Oh, lipstick. And just inches away from your lips for you. I guess that's pretty good for year one, huh? Are you kidding? Hell, I'm six months ahead of schedule. Watch dog, bow wow. Stepping lightly like a woodpecker with a headache.

[Kim Coles]

Jackie, that's improvised.

[Erica Alexander]

That's improv. I love this moment of coming in. And we know that he took her bowling, so that's more Overton speed. He took her to a world where he felt comfortable and where he could show off. Cause he's a good bowler.

[Kim Coles]

Right. You know, and he's not over promising something he can't deliver, which a lot of people do nowadays. They take you something expensive and it is nice, but the truth, it's not a correct sort of estimation of what you're gonna get in the future.

[Erica Alexander]

Right.

[Kim Coles]

And so people get disappointed when they can't keep it up. But bowling is.

[Erica Alexander]

You can absolutely keep that up. You're gonna have fun all the time. I love this. I love this sweet moment of. This was good. Do we kiss? Do we not kiss? And, you know, he offers himself, and she kisses him on the cheek, which is perfect. She gets to have, you know, he asks her for permission in that way.

[Kim Coles]

Very important.

[Erica Alexander]

And she chooses to give him a kiss on the cheek, which is just enough. Just right. Just right.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Unlike you.

[Erica Alexander]

I would have tongued him down.

[Kim Coles]

Oh.

[Erica Alexander]

I would have tongued him down on the first date. And then, you know, second date, we'll talk. So it was. And he was thrilled. He was over the moon with that. You know, Kyle sees that as like, oh, you got a kiss on the cheek and inches away from your lips. And, uh, he's thrilled. Thrilled. My plan has moved up now. Yeah. Not a year plan. It's six months now. All right, now. Perfect.

[Kim Coles]

And as he said, this is a John line where he says, stepping lightly like a woodpecker with a headache. That is improv.

[Erica Alexander]

That's his.

[Kim Coles]

That's his thing. That's John Hinton.

[Erica Alexander]

There's also something else that happens there, too. This watchdog bow wow. I think I remember in the pilot, they played a game of some kind, and John and TC Ad libbed this watchdog bow bow wow. This thing. And that remained throughout the show, like, that was something they would always do when they pounded each other. So that's like a personal thing that they made. Thing for the show.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. And they were always trying to do that, trying to separate their relationship from the four women and build it out. And that was important to them. So they didn't become just the joke.

[Erica Alexander]

We had conversations about making sure they didn't turn into Lenny and Squiggy.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

So Lenny and Squiggy were two characters on Laverne and Shirley that were very funny every time they opened the door. Hello. Hello. And they were weird and funny and wacky, but we wanted. But they were the punchline always. And these guys.

[Kim Coles]

And they weren't taken seriously. And they were like, we're two black men. We not gonna do that.

[Erica Alexander]

No. And so we all agreed that they can be funny, but they have to still be men and still have, you know, important things to say and still have interests and not there just to serve the comedy.

[Kim Coles]

No.

[Erica Alexander]

And so you see now this friendship, you see this coaching, you see their belief in each other. You know, Kyle believes in him. If he's Gonna coach him.

[Kim Coles]

And this is the pairing of Sinclair and Overton. That will last for years.

[Erica Alexander]

For years.

[Kim Coles]

And then we get to see it. And it's the one. I wanna say one. But actually, yes, the one love story that is consistently building. And not necessarily they do have their issues, but it's a classic love story that gets to grow.

[Erica Alexander]

It gets to grow.

[Kim Coles]

It doesn't have anybody. You know, it's passionate, it's pure in a way.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, it's unencumbered with a lot of other stuff.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

One of my favorite things I remember hearing during our run, somebody, some critics said that if Sinclair and Overton were on a white show, they would have won an Emmy. Because this arc is something that we hadn't seen. We hadn't seen this, you know, sort of. You don't like the word innocent, but I'll say innocent. Cause I can't find enough naive, sort of pure. Just pure. And I'm really proud of that. I'm really proud that as black folks, we got to show an element of love and relationship. Yeah, it was really.

[Kim Coles]

It's a shame you'd have to go on another show that wouldn't have a black cast, perhaps, for that to have stood out as something that was unique inside of the story narrative that was going on in sitcoms. So what's your perspective of the Sinclair and Overton story?

[Erica Alexander]

I think it's promising also for people who feel a little different or feel a little weird. Like, I'm not cool. I've never been cool. And Sinclair is not. She's not cool. She's not perfect. She doesn't even quite know who she is, other than she's loves life and loves people. And again, I'm going to use the word pure. I don't mean perfect, but just like what you see is what you get. And so I think it gave, you know, people hope. And guys like Overton are like, I'm not fancy, I'm not a doctor. I don't know a lot of things. I just know what I know. And he's actually brilliant. An inventor, a philosopher. As we. As we heard that it gives hope to people who are like, I just want to keep it. What you see is what you get.

[Kim Coles]

But did we know that they weren't in game, that they were always going to be together in the show?

[Erica Alexander]

I think once the audience buys in, you hear, you know, we had a live audience every week, and you hear the audience going, oh or yay.

[Kim Coles]

But did the writers know it? I'm saying they Wrote it.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, I think they know. And I knew that when you signed up for it. I knew. I knew.

[Kim Coles]

We already knew that.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

And so in a way, they didn't have to have blurriness or anything, or it'd be cloudy. It was.

[Erica Alexander]

I didn't know it happened so soon, though, because you think, like, we've got.

[Kim Coles]

Well, they have to start somewhere.

[Erica Alexander]

They do have to start. This is the start. This is the start.

[Kim Coles]

Did you have a chemistry read for John? Did you?

[Erica Alexander]

No, we did not have a chemistry read. But I had respect for John Hinton because he was a comic who was beloved and he was. He had heat on him. So the fact that Yvette was able to get him was great. This was perfect. So I knew of him. And nothing but respect. Cause we both came from the world of standup.

[Kim Coles]

And does that move, you think that Overton did still hold up? Could you still do that nowadays?

[Erica Alexander]

The move of.

[Kim Coles]

Well, maybe there's a couple of moves. Could somebody send a note? Maybe get somebody to leave? Probably not.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, sure.

[Kim Coles]

No. I don't know. Cause they would text and see if that were true. Number one and send, you know, so that doesn't hold up. But maybe the move in where he offers himself and goes like that. Or is that seen as soft and like, he's a sucker. Cause you give him a peck and he's okay with that.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Could that hold up now?

[Erica Alexander]

I like to believe that if you appreciate that that could hold up. So there's a story in which I don't know you, then go back to your apartment. It's like, he didn't tongue me down like I wanted him to. Don't he know? And there's also. Look, my beloved EJ made me wait for months before we kissed, before we did anything. And that was new for me. And it was not innocent, but it was a decision to go. Let's make sure that we can remain friends no matter what. Let's make sure that we really get to know each other. And it was actually.

[Kim Coles]

Hats was on fire, weren't they?

[Erica Alexander]

I can see, baby, wait.

[Kim Coles]

You start to smoke right now.

[Erica Alexander]

I was like, am I going to get this kiss tonight? And he was, okay, Good night, my lord. Good night. But he was.

[Kim Coles]

You were burning rubber.

[Erica Alexander]

Like, come on, let's get in there.

[Kim Coles]

I know. That's right.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. He said, no, this was good, man. And I allowed to go on that.

[Kim Coles]

He also. That's a king move, by the way.

[Erica Alexander]

It's a. Oh, absolutely.

[Kim Coles]

Wow.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. You have to, like, wait for it. Yeah. Because what it does, it creates a bond that is. Now we know each other more. And so I think that that's sweet. I think that there are women who would appreciate a man who didn't like, here's my tongue. Enjoy. And I'm sure there are men who would appreciate. She gave me a little peck on the cheek. There's something to look forward to.

[Kim Coles]

Well, I think it's also expectation. Battling expectations. Because a lot of people that even if they wanted that they feel, then if they don't get more, they failed because society is telling them that you a sucker if you can't come and seal the deal.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, there's people panties night one.

[Kim Coles]

Well, there's people who believe if they take you out to Red Bl or some sort of, you know, that they deserve. You got to put out now even. Come on, now.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on.

[Kim Coles]

It gotta be more than the Red Lobster.

[Erica Alexander]

Take me bowling and Red Lobster. And there you go.

[Kim Coles]

Thank you. And then you could talk. So the importance of Sinclair's innocence in a show about modern dating is a.

[Erica Alexander]

Beautiful juxtaposition for all of y' all.

[Kim Coles]

It's true. Because we had hot pants.

[Erica Alexander]

Hot pants.

[Kim Coles]

Hot thang. Bill at 21. Right.

[Erica Alexander]

This is the reverb. Our time to reflect on the episode's themes and how they still echo throughout the culture. Welcome back. So before we dive into how living singles shaped modern dating, can we just take a little stroll through memory lane? If I can remember that far back, let's talk about dating in the 90s. Right? What do you remember? You know, there's beepers, there's mixtapes.

[Kim Coles]

Yes.

[Erica Alexander]

Paging someone like it was a love letter.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

I never had a pager. I never.

[Kim Coles]

I never had a pager. And we were just getting phones in, you know, and it was actually very expensive to call people on the phone. You still had long distance charges. Wow. So, yeah, there was a lot of difference. You had to meet. You had to go out and meet people. Number one. Right.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, clubs were real, none of that swiping and.

[Kim Coles]

No, you had to go meet people. You actually started dating in high school and, you know, getting people's number and saying, I'm going with that person. Remember that? Do people still go with, I'm going with him.

[Erica Alexander]

Did you get asked, would you go with him?

[Kim Coles]

Nobody ever asked me, but I went to an all girls high school and I would have been horrified if somebody asked me.

[Erica Alexander]

Really?

[Kim Coles]

I didn't want to ever be a property of any dude that was. Sorry. This is not in me really. So even my first boyfriend, he understood that. And so, you know, we dated, but I never said I was going with him. That sounds corny.

[Erica Alexander]

That's so funny. Like the thing, you know, and I grew up in New York, so for God's sake, you know, would you go with me? You'd go like. Yes, thank you.

[Kim Coles]

And then what do they do? Give you a little ring or.

[Erica Alexander]

Or nothing. It was understood, you know, either you got an item of some kind or it was just understood that you were the not property but you belonged to football jersey. Look, it was probably more organic and more, you know, innocent.

[Kim Coles]

He understood, you know, I mean everybody. You have to read the thing because you can scare people who maybe have my point of view. My point of view wasn't just about autonomy and sort of this space to choose, but it was also. I didn't want to be claimed.

[Erica Alexander]

You didn't want to be claimed?

[Kim Coles]

No, I'm not married now, but when I got married, I wasn't going to be Erica Alexander, blah, blah, blah. I was going to be Eric Alexander. I already have a man's name, my father's. I didn't need another man's name.

[Erica Alexander]

Right, right. Here's what's funny about you though. For somebody who didn't want to be claimed, like you have long term relationships, like you and Richard were together for eight years.

[Kim Coles]

I'm very.

[Erica Alexander]

I know you and Tony were together for years. And so for somebody who didn't want to be claimed, so I guess it's not about the time spent or saying that you're with someone, but you didn't wanna be claimed and yet you were locked down.

[Kim Coles]

And that's one of the big differences too. So if you think about in the 90s, I think people looked for people who would be more long term. Stability was important because again, society thought if you dated too much, you were a whore. I'm say a bad word here. Like, you know, Stallone in Rocky. I'm saying a bad word here. You were a whore, you know, and nobody wants to be a whore. You want to be somebody who looks like, you know, marriage material. And even though I wasn't even into marriage, but marriage material meant that somebody you could be committed to. So commitment was important. Right now the difference is there is no commitment. You literally put your picture up with your stats and somebody gonna look and swipe past you. I couldn't.

[Erica Alexander]

I can't even imagine. I'm so glad. Did you ever do any. Well, you didn't any online dating?

[Kim Coles]

Well, I couldn't do it. Now. There's Max. I mean, yeah, but there are people.

[Erica Alexander]

We have friends.

[Kim Coles]

Cousin Pam.

[Erica Alexander]

We have friends in our world who have done that. And I go, like, but they know who. Absolutely. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

We should go on Pop for Love. Cause now days they go on dating games where you put the red balloon out, and literally when you come out, they start popping balloons. Now, frankly, that would hurt my feelings. Well, if I was in my 50s, I wouldn't want to pop the balloon. I might let the air out slowly, you know, because I don't want them to be traumatized. Like, can I just slowly let their. That, to me, is one of the most dramatic things.

[Erica Alexander]

Interview them. Like, hey, so why did you have your balloon on plop? I wanted to see what she was talking about.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, we want to see.

[Erica Alexander]

She's attractive. But let me say this. There's a difference between a dating app or. Or going on a reality show. Because a lot of times those people on those shows, they're doing it. And my Instagram is Amber22999. Like, you know, they're going. Because it's, you know, publicity, and ain't.

[Kim Coles]

That much publicity in the world. You pop them balloons on me before I get out.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, they're popping on two or three of those episodes. But wait, it's so popular.

[Kim Coles]

Netflix gave them a deal, and they should have.

[Erica Alexander]

It's actually. It's actually too slick for me. I actually like it.

[Kim Coles]

It's rough. I love when people go, like, the dudes are like, you know, they'll say something, and they say, bless me up. You know, just insulted you and said, you know, but it's all good. Bless up.

[Erica Alexander]

So what's your name? My name is Joey, and I have a business. Yeah, I'm a business owner, and I.

[Kim Coles]

I believe I'm an entrepreneur.

[Erica Alexander]

What do you want in a woman? She got to believe in God.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

And not smoke too much reefer.

[Kim Coles]

And I like when she shows her, you know, her body. You know, I want to make sure the goods are there.

[Erica Alexander]

You work out. So this could not have happened in the 90s, but in the 90s, we were exploring. Girl, you had to meet someone. You had to go on a.

[Kim Coles]

If your mother saw you on a show like that, you'd be dragged out of there. Can you imagine our parents on a show like that?

[Erica Alexander]

People really going on that show to really find love. I think there's some. I Do you think there's some.

[Kim Coles]

There is a problem nowadays, let's be honest. When the dating They've been talking about it, especially from the male point of view, that males feel very unaligned, not just dating, but with who they are in the world and their purpose. Because things have changed massively for men, and women have changed massively because they do have choice. They're not necessarily needing a man to pay the rent or feel proud of themselves. They're in the market. They're very well educated. Sometimes they're like they want to date several different people. But then that's what people are saying. There's too many masculine women. What does that mean? Would Max be seen as a masculine woman? Yes.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes, she would.

[Kim Coles]

But I thought I found her to be very delicate and vulnerable.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, because you knew how to play that and add that. But you do. Do you think that there are men who would be intimidated by Max?

[Kim Coles]

There were men that. That's why they wanted to put her across the street before they even met her was even cast. They were wanting Yvette to place her across the street.

[Erica Alexander]

The thing is that we don't know until we get to know her that she's. There is a softness, there is a masc. A femininity that. Well, she's all feminine. She's just.

[Kim Coles]

You know, I think femininity is being redefined as we speak on Living Single because we have different versions of it. We have Regine, you know, wanting that traditional thing. Marry me, take care of me, you know, and then maybe we'll talk about beans in the oven. But first it's me. And then we have you. Who wants that? But you're not putting it out there for sale.

[Erica Alexander]

No, no, but just sort of sweet and innocent and ready.

[Kim Coles]

And then we have Khadijah, who's very career focused like Latifah was, you know.

[Erica Alexander]

But still wanting to date. You know, she got to date basketball players and football players on the show and all of this, and still very much wanting to add that into her life. And you, who were like, you weren't a man eater. You just were very clear that you could have your sex and eat it, too. No, that came out wrong.

[Kim Coles]

Lord have mercy.

[Erica Alexander]

That came out wrong. That came out wrong.

[Kim Coles]

No, it's have your sex and eat me too. If you were talking to Max, I.

[Erica Alexander]

Know you know what I'm saying.

[Kim Coles]

Hey, you know, funny thing. I am not. I'm very much Erica like Sinclair was. Cause I'm from Arizona, so that's my version of Minnesota. You know, we have our dating pool there too.

[Erica Alexander]

Right.

[Kim Coles]

You know, it's not necessarily trash, but it ain't the best.

[Erica Alexander]

The dating pool is very shallow.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. And you know, and you have that kind of old fashioned way in approaching things and you don't want to put it out there. You know, not that you don't have longing, but you're not out there swiping right. And luckily they weren't swiping right, I gotta say. You know, but in a way, I probably didn't use my puss as much as I should have. I wish I had now, looking back, I could have totally put it more out on the shelf. No, you know what I'm saying?

[Erica Alexander]

Cause you use your puss too much. It gets. It stays up on the shelf because it needs to rest too much.

[Kim Coles]

Well, I'm not saying I don't want to overuse it, but I did want to use it more than I did.

[Erica Alexander]

You did want to use it more than you did.

[Kim Coles]

Well, looking back. Yeah, listen, you got many years stopping.

[Erica Alexander]

You use it now.

[Kim Coles]

Well, now you know, it's different now, you know what I'm saying? You know, then I was footloose and vagina free. You know, was tough because there was all these things going on in your head. It wasn't just the fact that I was old fashioned. There were all these, you know, competing thoughts.

[Erica Alexander]

Like you said you didn't want to get pregnant and you don't want to be considered too fast. Especially in those environments that are, are, you know, smaller and more traditional. More traditional. There's rules about when and why and who with who and all that.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Nowadays they have all sorts of things that we didn't.

[Erica Alexander]

And roles are getting even softer. Right. So you have young people now who are like, who don't assign the same meaningfulness to sex that we did. You know, in our generation. Not only did sex mean that you were gonna get pregnant, sex meant that you could die. Yeah. Cause STDs. It wasn't like you just get a shot of penicillin.

[Kim Coles]

AIDS was very much prominent.

[Erica Alexander]

Right. So you're just coming off of. Still is prevalent especially in our communities.

[Kim Coles]

But it's not a death sentence as it was untreated.

[Erica Alexander]

But then it could very well be.

[Kim Coles]

And also we have things that bisexual and all that, trans, everything. There's tons of freedom. Then we could barely say gay and. Or queer. Queer was actually not said unless you were. But now people are like, well, I'm bisexual, I'm fluid, all these things.

[Erica Alexander]

So the rules have softened. And so when you meet someone, you have to go.

[Kim Coles]

So that's a wonderful thing.

[Erica Alexander]

What are your pronouns, and what do you like and what don't you like? And what are the rules here?

[Kim Coles]

Regine's pronouns have stayed the same. Me, myself, and I. That's what it is. You know, by the way, they happen to be mine, too.

[Erica Alexander]

Me, myself, and I. And now it's time for True Blue, where we get to hear from you. By the way, we'd love to get your questions and to. We'd love. We'll sit here, and we will answer them with love. All you have to do is go to reliving single podcastartbeat.com write us, tell us what you want to know. We'll tell you almost everything.

[Kim Coles]

Now that's a situationship we can get with.

[Erica Alexander]

So who do we have? What do we have?

[Kim Coles]

All right, so this question is from Janae J. From D.C. and she says, hi, Erica and Kim, loving the podcast. I rewatch Living Single all the time, but getting to relive it with you both has been a dream. Quick question about dating. So which black male celeb from the 90s do you wish your character had gotten to date on the show? Ooh, you know what? Might sound corny, but I love me some Billy Dee Williams. I ain't gonna lie. It makes sense that we should pick somebody from, say, New Edition and all this stuff. And they seemed like peers at the time. I don't know about you. And they were all in a state of becoming Wu Tang Clan, all of them. And I didn't see them necessarily, but maybe because you also, when you're young, you also think older. I wanted, you know, Jermaine Jackson was who I dreamed of.

[Erica Alexander]

Ooh. I had a crush on Jermaine, too. Oh, quietest has kept Tito. I know people laugh about Tito.

[Kim Coles]

Tito.

[Erica Alexander]

I love Tito. I think Tito is awesome.

[Kim Coles]

I'm coming strong. Well, I was Marlon Jackson.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay. You were mar. Ok. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

But, you know, I loved Billy Dee because he was with Diana Ross and he says, what, do you want my arm to fall off? And, you know, I really did love Billy Dee and I loved people like Sidney Poitier and those things. So I think in a way, I always wanted a mature man. And I thought some of the people that may have been maybe my age peers were kind of too young.

[Erica Alexander]

Right, okay. Okay.

[Kim Coles]

To be interesting, I was still looking at Dukes of Hazzard and digging on, you know what I mean? The Dukes of Hazzard and all these, you know. And by the way, not enough's being said about all the white men that were sort of in front of us that, you know, that were sexy and, you know, we sort of projected ourselves into those relationships. By the way, I loved Pierce Brosnan on Remington Steel Child. Oh, my God.

[Erica Alexander]

Have you been watching any of Pierce Brosnan's latest work? He has aged like a fine wine.

[Kim Coles]

Wine, wine. He's an Irishman.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on.

[Kim Coles]

He's coming with his leprechaun self real hard with a gangster.

[Erica Alexander]

Listen. And James Bond. And here's. You know why I like Pierce Brosnan? Cause his woman is thick, and he likes her thick. Bonus. You ever see how he holds onto her on a. And people have said, oh, your wife is. He's. Nuh. I like it. I like my Lassie. So. I always liked that he liked a woman with some curves.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, me, too.

[Erica Alexander]

Pierce Brosnan.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. And same with a dude who plays Wolverine.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on. Yes, yes.

[Kim Coles]

You know what I mean. And if you look at Keanu Reeves, who dates an older woman. See, I always liked people who dated interesting people.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kim Coles]

I think that you can kind of see what people are like by seeing who they date. And frankly, yes, they were all out there. My God. I mean, yeah, I liked all of that.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm trying to think who else I would choose. I don't know. None of the pop stars. Cause I wouldn't want to compete with the groupies, but.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. You didn't say who you did.

[Erica Alexander]

I didn't say because I don't have a. But.

[Kim Coles]

You said you'd go out with anybody. Now you're being picky.

[Erica Alexander]

I said if I go on a first date, they're going to be my boyfriend because that justifies what's going to happen by date three.

[Kim Coles]

So do you like any rapper?

[Erica Alexander]

LL Cool J would be my spoon. He's a Capricorn. He licks his lips. But I don't want to disrespect his wife. Anybody.

[Kim Coles]

Then he gonna need some chapstick, as you say, right?

[Erica Alexander]

LL Cool J would be about my speed.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, that might have been it.

[Erica Alexander]

Flavor Flav.

[Kim Coles]

No, no.

[Erica Alexander]

Lord, Let me tell you something. Flavor Flav is charming. Yeah, I see. Flavor Flav gets it because he's charming. There's a light and. Hey, Kim. Hey, Kimmy Kim. He's darling. A darling.

[Kim Coles]

Who's his compadre? Flavor Flav? Who? Public Enemy.

[Erica Alexander]

Chuck D. Chuck D, Come on now.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, my God. Now I get heated from that.

[Erica Alexander]

I think we got good taste. Got good taste.

[Kim Coles]

Chuck D. Come. I' ma love it. Let's get down to business.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on. Come on. Sexy.

[Kim Coles]

What?

[Erica Alexander]

Sexy. Sexy.

[Kim Coles]

He Was fine as hell, too, to this day. You know who was good? Big Daddy Kane.

[Erica Alexander]

Chocolatey delicious.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, my God. No. We just needed to be triggered.

[Erica Alexander]

We needed to be triggered.

[Kim Coles]

My God. Big Daddy Kane. You know, I met him at the Tamron hall show. Was all I could do to look at him. Oh, yes. I think I looked cross eyed. Cause I didn't want to see him.

[Erica Alexander]

You told me about someone. I won't say. I'll say when the show's. When we're not rolling. Somebody who said to. I'm really feeling you, girl.

[Kim Coles]

I'm feeling you. Maxwell. I'm telling. He said, that was Maxwell.

[Erica Alexander]

Erica. I'll tell you this. Erica went to the concert. You went backstage.

[Kim Coles]

It was a fashion show.

[Erica Alexander]

It was a fashion show. And he said, hey.

[Kim Coles]

And we was across the Runway and we just locked eyes and it was one of those moments that was instant. He said, I mean, it was just instant. I was. It was fever. You give me fever.

[Erica Alexander]

And he said. He said backstage, I'm feeling.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. He said, don't feel me. Don't feel me. I told you, don't film me. I couldn't. It was. Yeah, because it was. I'm telling you, it was too much. It was like no one else was in the room. And honestly, I'm sure my panties fell off and I was nearly impregnated without him touching me. That's how fierce it was.

[Erica Alexander]

You said, please don't feel me.

[Kim Coles]

Don't film me, Maxwell.

[Erica Alexander]

Don't feel me. Please don't feel me.

[Kim Coles]

I don't even let myself go there.

[Erica Alexander]

The 90s.

[Kim Coles]

The 90s.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you, Janae, for asking your question. Thank you.

[Kim Coles]

And getting us reminiscence, you know, you got us all hot and both.

[Erica Alexander]

Are you loving doing the show and rewatching and enjoying this? Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. Loving sitting here with you more than I thought I would, frankly. It was. Yeah. Maybe it's some kind of healing and like a tonic. Yeah, we're laughing and talking, but we're also crying and having a conversation and, you know. And what lovely shout out to Thomas Michael Ford.

[Erica Alexander]

Life. It's moments like this, you're reminded that life is so short and you must share your light. You know, Tommy shared his light beautifully. Kind, loving man. I'm told he was a great father. And a great dad showed up.

[Kim Coles]

Always know his line on time. That says something about his professional ethic. Work ethic. There's so many wonderful people that are gone now. Right. But he went very early and it was shocking to all of us.

[Erica Alexander]

So much so and so it says to all of us to live now, live now and live your light and and be the best version of you always so that you can be remembered and loved on just like this.

[Kim Coles]

Come back. Listen to us. You know, listen to us, listen to us.

[Erica Alexander]

Listen to us.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, you know this is every week wherever you listen to your podcast and if you wanna see us and see, you know, the visual come on are hot. We are dressing up and trying to make it all look pretty for you and everyone here is working hard and we, and we, we love you so yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you all.

[Kim Coles]

Send your comments and questions to reliving single podcasteartbeat.com.

[Erica Alexander]

Reliving single is hosted by Erica Alexander and me, Kim Coles. Reliving Single is a production of Heartbeat in association with Color Farm Media, executive produced by Kevin Hart, Jeff Clanigan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander and Ben R. Nan. This show is produced by Kim Coles. Amber Watson is our senior producer. Our associate producer is Kenny Jackson. Our video editor is Shannon Joy Rogers. Our sound engineers are Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson. Production supervision by Razak Boykin. Additional production support from Alex Atkins and Z. Taylor and a Special thanks to Dr. E.J. johnson.