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Erica Alexander
Coming up on reliving single Atlantic City. Baby, I thought I was a scourge.
Kim Coles
I was like, oh my God, you can see them crawling.
Erica Alexander
You can see you were driving. You would so rock a little gold lemon jacket.
Kim Coles
Well, I, you know, if I was drunk and high.
Erica Alexander
Here come the judge.
Kim Coles
Here come the judge. You said you weren't good at horror stories. This is horror. Everybody's itching in the studio and they shake the car.
Erica Alexander
So waterbed. I got crafts.
Kim Coles
What?
Erica Alexander
Stormy Daniels told me that I did a show with her. Surreal Life. I did the Surreal Life. We were in Mexico for two weeks. She's awesome. And she said there are no fluffers in porno. There's nobody actually fluffing.
Kim Coles
That's a load off.
Erica Alexander
No pun intended. Let's start the show.
Kim Coles
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Erica Alexander
Welcome back to Reliving Single, the official unofficial Living Single Rewatch podcast. Woo.
Kim Coles
Okay, we're checking out Living Single Season 1 Episode Crappy Birthday Season 1 Episode 12 here's the story. This week it's Happy Birthday Khadijah. Woohoo. A road trip for the girls who take Khadijah to the ac. You know what that means?
Erica Alexander
Atlantic City, baby. Right.
Kim Coles
For people who don't understand. Not in the air conditioner. It's ac. It's Atlantic City. And in America's playground, Frugal Khadijah loses all her inhibitions in the casino and goes all in until it all falls down.
Erica Alexander
And then there's a B story. That's right. Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Overton and Kyle House sit while the girls are away. Now what could go wrong with that? And we have some amazing co stars this episode. I mean legends and legends and legends. The great Flip Wilson, actor, comedian and variety show King. And Ed McMahon, who I have a personal story with.
Kim Coles
Thank you. Wow.
Erica Alexander
Yeah.
Kim Coles
Hopefully not a stormy. A stormy story.
Erica Alexander
A good story. It's time for the rewind where we watch and relive living single with you.
Kim Coles
Look, I'm celebrating my birthday right here. Just sit at home, chill, watch tv. Oh snap. You're whining already. What are you doing? You're gonna go if it kills you.
Erica Alexander
Are you going to kill me? I didn't even pack a bag yet. Don't you worry, I packed one for you. I'm not gonna even ask what that was in your sock drawer. Come on.
Kim Coles
So surprise. Here's the birthday that you did not ask for.
Erica Alexander
Right?
Kim Coles
Yeah. Suck it up, Suck it up.
Erica Alexander
And that's not very celebratory.
Kim Coles
I know, I know. But you know, that's what friends do. I think, you know what she's. You have to push her along.
Erica Alexander
Right? Right. She says no in a big. A full body weight.
Kim Coles
A full body weight. No. One of the things I really noticed looking at, you know, this, this clip is how good Latifah is in her body in terms of physical comedy.
Erica Alexander
Very much so.
Kim Coles
Yeah. It's not said enough that when you lift her up and you say you, but you gotta go. And she lifts her own self up very elegantly.
Erica Alexander
Yeah.
Kim Coles
I mean, she's always sort of like leaning into things.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
And I just love.
Erica Alexander
She brings it all, she brings it all to the party. So we're about to take this trip and obviously, do you see how many bags Regine brought down? Like, how long is she planning on staying? What is she taking?
Kim Coles
Back in the day, people used to pack for like cruises because you were crossing the Atlantic. She's like, she's crossing the Atlantic.
Erica Alexander
She's crossing from Brooklyn to New Jersey.
Kim Coles
Exactly. She's looking for a bridge.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
I think that Khadijah, again, going back to her frugal days. She just also doesn't have time.
Erica Alexander
And I don't need a big fuss made. I don't like surprises. I'm like Khadijah in that way. Don't surprise me. Cause I think I would plan it better. So I don't want you surprising me. Because let me in on the planning. Cause I'm gonna plan it well and have it laid out the way I want it to be. I really don't like surprises. So no one has ever taken me on a surprise birthday trip.
Kim Coles
And nobody's ever done anything when you said no, and they did it anyway. Has that happened?
Erica Alexander
That has happened. The good news is that it's ej and he knows me well enough. And I go, this was a good surprise. Cause he knows what I like and what I don't like. So something like this. I don't even think Khadijah would enjoy Atlantic City. I think the girls planned it. Cause they wanted it.
Kim Coles
And that's the thing. So I think that that's what happened. That friends use your birthday or your, you know, special days to suddenly make an excuse to be like girls. We have to dress a certain way. We all have to wear.
Erica Alexander
All wear white, all wear black. Right? Like, right.
Kim Coles
I ain't got time for that.
Erica Alexander
My point of view is that every day is your birthday. Every. Why do we wait till one time of year to celebrate ourselves or have someone celebrate us? Like, every day can be your birthday. Although birthdays are special. Like my 16th birthday, I remember being really special. That was back in the day where they would give you a corsage with like, Tootsie Rolls on it or something. Or candies. Tootsie Rolls. Oh, yeah, I had Tootsie Rolls. And I had, you know, right here and then. And I gave Tootsie Roll to my very special friends. I only had 16 of them. So, yeah, you can have one. There you go.
Kim Coles
So back in the day, passing like a drug dealer at school.
Erica Alexander
Here you go. Exactly. Just to the very special ones. So that was my favorite. Do you have a favorite birthday of yours?
Kim Coles
No. Well, actually, my 50th birthday was really pretty awesome.
Erica Alexander
I believe I was there. You got surprised.
Kim Coles
I got surprised. And you saw I cried like maybe for a clear 45 minutes.
Erica Alexander
Yeah, it was good.
Kim Coles
It was really good.
Erica Alexander
And you really were surprised.
Kim Coles
You didn't know I Had no idea. And people had flown out for it. You were there. And I think the way it was planned because, you know, it was my boyfriend, but he had invited all my past.
Erica Alexander
Like, my ex husband's boyfriend was there. Erica has a great relationship with ex boyfriend, so, like, you know, husband number one, boyfriend number one.
Kim Coles
There was only one number one. As if there's five. Yeah, they were all there.
Erica Alexander
It says a lot about you that you have these great relationships with these great men.
Kim Coles
I like to think so.
Erica Alexander
I have a memory of you looking over at your boyfriend and just beaming. Thank you. And gratitude and love. And I'm gonna put it on you later on. And thank you. And just staring at him like, please, I got busy tonight.
Kim Coles
Did my lips do this?
Erica Alexander
Yeah, you did. You did. You were like, mm.
Kim Coles
Oh, well, I do. Yeah, well.
Erica Alexander
And he was so proud that he pulled it together, and he did a great job. So.
Kim Coles
Yes, great job. And they were all sorts of love, and so I appreciate that. I don't like surprises, but that was well done. I think if we don't start celebrating these special moments, we. When are we gonna do it?
Erica Alexander
Right now is the time.
Kim Coles
Max, does your car always ride this bumpy? That's all your designer luggage in the back.
Erica Alexander
My luggage isn't that heavy. Something's weighing this car down.
Kim Coles
Y' all better not be looking at me. Okay, so the girls hit the road. They've hit the road with Khadijah, by the way. She's still protesting, but she's blindfolded. She sat up there in the car blindfolded, which is hilarious. I don't know if I could sit there, like, I'm being kidnapped by the IRS for, like, the many hours without.
Erica Alexander
Being able to reach up my hands and take off the blindfold.
Kim Coles
Take off the blindfold.
Erica Alexander
How long would it take to drive from Brooklyn to Atlantic City? Like, at least an hour and a half, two hours or so. Right? There you go.
Kim Coles
Good.
Erica Alexander
And so she's sitting there with a. With a blindfold on it that she could reach up and cut. Take off. But maybe there's a respect. I'm just going to go along for this ride.
Kim Coles
Well, that's what she does. She's pretty game for it. No matter what she's saying or protesting, she's. She's down for the shenanigans, and that's nice. And I think that. Do you think. Cause we've talked a little bit about it, that. That bumpy ride thing. Cause they blame the bumpy ride on the luggage, and then they said, well, something's weighing down in the car.
Erica Alexander
And we all turn and look at her, and y' all better not be.
Kim Coles
Looking at her at Khadijah. So is that like a subtle. It is. Joke about weight?
Erica Alexander
It is, isn't it?
Kim Coles
Yeah, it's a fat joke.
Erica Alexander
And we didn't do a lot of that on this show. And I'm grateful that we didn't do a lot of that on this show. Cause I gained weight, and we can have a whole conversation about that. I'm surprised at that we let that one go.
Kim Coles
Well, I think that that one was one of the ones that went by. But then Latifah kind of made it really clear, like, look, we're not going to be doing that. And then they really disappeared. And it's funny, because that's a sort of cheap comedy trope that you could do is just keep making fun of people's weights and things like that. And there's nothing wrong with Latifah's weight.
Erica Alexander
So I would get a call every beginning of every season to my manager saying, kim Coles has to lose some weight. She has to lose some weight. She has to lose some weight. And I remember having this conversation with some guy friends, and they go, there's no man in America that would kick any one of y' all out of bed. Which is a really, really crude way to say it. But I think what was beautiful about us is there were four completely different body types, and we looked like women that everybody knew in our community. But there is a expectation by these, you know, suits in an. Of what. What they think sexy is. And so I had a really hard time as I was gaining weight and feeling as if everybody was staring. And there was this moment where Latifah was like, no, we're not gonna do this. And then it wasn't brought up anymore. And I told you won't remember this, but I told you that. They threatened me and said, if you keep gaining weight, we're gonna have to start writing fat jokes. And you said, I won't read those jokes.
Kim Coles
I said that to you? Yeah.
Erica Alexander
Executive said it to my manager. We have to include. She wouldn't be gaining all this weight, and her friends wouldn't say anything. And we're gonna have to lose some weight or we're gonna have to start writing fat jokes. And I brought it to you, and you said, I won't read those jokes.
Kim Coles
No, no. Who's gonna say them? No one would. You have to have willing collaborators. But, you know, the Sad part is they got in your mind, because I do remember that you went on a very sort of concerted effort throughout, you know, the series, throughout the rest of the years to keep the image that they wanted.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
Man, would you look at this place?
Erica Alexander
Isn't it amazing the way women keep.
Kim Coles
Their apartments so neat just for themselves? Hey, you're not really gonna watch tv, are you?
Erica Alexander
Overtime. They won't even know we're here.
Kim Coles
Unless I spill a big glass of red Kool Aid right there. Oh, my God. They're house sitting and they're messing up the house already.
Erica Alexander
House sitting or house wrecking? How dare they?
Kim Coles
Yeah, and there's this thing, it's called Men Unsupervised Equals Chaos. It's an actual thing that you see in comedy and in sitcoms, you know, the bumbling husband. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you think that that's a stereotype and did that to men feeling like if they were left at home, they would not be good at watching the house?
Erica Alexander
You know, I wonder if it comes off of the time where women were at home and they were taking care of the home, and men didn't know where the thing. And presumably he was off at work, off at the office, and she ran the household, and he ran everything that was going on outside the house. And maybe when left at home with the children alone, he didn't know what to do. So maybe it comes out of something that's truthful. Of course, men are capable. I remember when my father was left to babysit us or to make breakfast for us. It was great. Cause it was very, you know, he was a Marine, so it was very organized and very well done. And so maybe it's a comedy trope because it is, because we think men run the world, and really, women run the world. So maybe that was just a play on this.
Kim Coles
I know, but the problem is that if you extend it into how we got here, say, with talking about masculinity, and there's certain types of traditional roles versus untraditional roles. The truth is, if you look back in the day, no one had a maid. No one had somebody come and clean, you know, and if you lived on a farm, you know, you worked on a farm, maybe there were certain things that, you know, the men did versus the women being, you know, saying cooking and that. But I didn't see it. I saw people who were keeping their head above water. Everybody was doing everything, and they had to be able to take care of themselves. They had to be able to know how to take care of the baby if the mother was gone. But then it became something that I think people started to. That men start to lean into that, like, well, I don't do that. And it takes a certain type of man to understand when you're actually being fed a narrative and you can reject the narrative. But a lot of those things, I think they resonate because people embrace them and don't even know where they got those thoughts. But I think that a lot of these types of things we see in television that are storytelling are also end up raising us. And then we wonder where we got them from. But I think we got them from, like, television. You have to go now, don't you? Yeah. You're just gonna have to put nature's call on hold. We're almost there. That's what my mother used to say.
Erica Alexander
Until that unfortunate incident in the backseat of our new Cutlass Supreme.
Kim Coles
Get out. There's a ditch right over there. I'll only be a minute. Hey. Hey. You guys want to have a little fun with Sinclair? Why'd you have in mind?
Erica Alexander
That's a horrible, horrible joke. Well, to leave me in the middle of the night.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
Off the side of the road in Jersey.
Kim Coles
Yeah. That's what friends do. That's what friends are for.
Erica Alexander
Very unkind. You'd think somebody would really do that to you. You couldn't do that today. Oh, gosh, that would be horrible.
Kim Coles
I think it's horrible.
Erica Alexander
And she drove off fast enough that she got some distance.
Kim Coles
Yeah, it's hilarious. I mean, they went off on the same next exit and got her. Came got her.
Erica Alexander
Oh, you think they rolled all the way up the road? I think Sinclair grabbed her drawers and was running. Running back to the car.
Kim Coles
I hope so. I hope so. You know what I'm saying? So the road trip is pure chaos.
Erica Alexander
Pure chaos.
Kim Coles
Yeah. There you go. There are very few times that we're in a car.
Erica Alexander
Very few times.
Kim Coles
But there's. The car is on set, and then they have a green screen and. Or something that they project.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
And that looks like it's a driving scene. And then the prop people come and they shake the car while we're driving.
Erica Alexander
And I think it's like. Isn't it like some planks or something?
Kim Coles
Just push the car.
Erica Alexander
Maybe they've upgraded it now, and there's actually a machine that does it. I bet you there's a guy going, pushing, pushing. And sometimes they take the, you know, the lights and just do this. Yeah, you know, just over here.
Kim Coles
Yeah, that's the magic of Hollywood. Cause, you know, people think. Some people think it's so glamorous, but it's so not.
Erica Alexander
So not.
Kim Coles
Do you think Sinclair was pissed that they. They left her?
Erica Alexander
She was pissed that she was left.
Kim Coles
I bet you she wasn't. She said, hey, guys, did you remember I was out there? Oh, no, we didn't. Sorry, man. All right, they gotta get to Atlantic City. Let's get there.
Erica Alexander
Let's get there.
Kim Coles
Khadijah, you're my dear friend, and it's your birthday, and you're sick, and I know it's wrong for me to feel this way, but. Max, go gamble. Thank you.
Erica Alexander
What are you doing? I'm putting on my makeup. Why else do you think there's a mirror up here? To watch yourself sleep.
Kim Coles
Think. Think.
Erica Alexander
Hey, that's what's up the hi Jinks.
Kim Coles
Yep. So they're there. And I think that realizing that Max has sort of hooked her into coming to Atlanta. Sea is one thing, but that hotel room is awful looking.
Erica Alexander
And we're not staying at a posh place either. You know, we're staying at, you know, something that's.
Kim Coles
Could be in the Poconos.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
Right.
Erica Alexander
Not the best of.
Kim Coles
Not the best.
Erica Alexander
And then there's a waterbed in the room.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
And a mirror on the ceiling.
Kim Coles
But, you know, waterbeds were big. I don't know who did it, who sold this, but it was like somebody figured out, oh, it's supposed. Waterbed's supposed to be better for your back, better for your sleep. They were awful, horrible, horrible.
Erica Alexander
And you could hear the water sloshing. So the waterbed, you know, lure. No. No pun intended, was that it was great for your back and it was.
Kim Coles
Gonna flow and great for your emotions. There you go.
Erica Alexander
That's sexy. So that was the lure. And so I finally had an experience on a waterbed with the movement of the ocean, which is a. Not good if you've had a cocktail or two. Cause I.
Kim Coles
It was a guy with that.
Erica Alexander
A guy that I was dating or thought that I was dating. And this. We were gonna do the deed on this water. I got crabs.
Kim Coles
What? Kim?
Erica Alexander
Waterbed.
Kim Coles
I got crabs from the waterbed.
Erica Alexander
I don't know if it was him. I don't know if it was the waterbed we were on, because maybe the water bed.
Kim Coles
Water. Crabs. Crabs swimming down the water.
Erica Alexander
It was a college experience. I thought I was a scourge. I was like, oh, my God.
Kim Coles
You could see them crawling.
Erica Alexander
You could see them. You were jiving your head. See the Horrible. I was in college.
Kim Coles
I died.
Erica Alexander
I remember itching down there.
Kim Coles
Stop playing.
Erica Alexander
Why am I itching? What's going on? And a little crab on my thigh. And I was like, stop playing.
Kim Coles
Stop playing. I thought, did it look like a crab?
Erica Alexander
It looks like a little tiny crab.
Kim Coles
Was it good while it lasted?
Erica Alexander
No.
Kim Coles
Do you remember?
Erica Alexander
It wasn't even a good night. It wasn't even a good night. How horrifying. It was a guy that was.
Kim Coles
You said you weren't good at horror stories. This is horrible. My God. Everybody's itching in the studio.
Erica Alexander
And by the way, hotels like this is where you.
Kim Coles
By the way, let's be clear.
Erica Alexander
Let's talk about bedbugs and crabs. Without a doubt, this is exactly the place you catch. Exactly where.
Kim Coles
You know what?
Erica Alexander
Now when I travel, I take that bed. Brook spray.
Kim Coles
I bet you do. Sinclair, go keep her busy. And.
Erica Alexander
And.
Kim Coles
And we'll take you to see Boardwalk and Park Place. Okay? Okay. I'm back in action. We're Max and Regine now.
Erica Alexander
Max and Ma. Where?
Kim Coles
They're.
Erica Alexander
They're. Oh, M. Wilson. Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson.
Kim Coles
Right. It's my cousin Khadijah's birthday, and she's.
Erica Alexander
Such a big fan of yours.
Kim Coles
Well, happy birthday. And you have a nice day, okay? Thanks, Flip.
Erica Alexander
Can you do it for us? Here come the judge. Just once, please?
Kim Coles
I don't do that anymore. Oh, of course he doesn't do that anymore. What about Geraldine in Atlantic City? Honey.
Erica Alexander
Yes, yes, yes. I didn't want to come to Atlantic.
Kim Coles
City, but the devil made me do it.
Erica Alexander
Flip Wilson, he was the first black person to have their own variety show. And it was the number one show for a while.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
And in this scene, I'm asking him to do one of his famous lines. He had several lines, and one of the characters was, you know, here come the judge.
Kim Coles
Here come the judge.
Erica Alexander
And he said no, but he did give us his famous Geraldine line. And Geraldine was a character that he did, you know, in a wig, in a full dress and lipstick.
Kim Coles
That's. Flip's famous alter ego is Geraldine. Geraldine, Geraldine.
Erica Alexander
Devil baby.
Kim Coles
Do it, honey. Black, funny.
Erica Alexander
She was strong.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
So there's the great Flip Wilson willing to play with us. So he said yes to come on the show, but he was fully willing to play and let me snatch him around. And I told him how much of a fan I was of him and that I had done standup as well. And he was lovely. And I love that these devices have showed up for me to keep distracting Khadijah which is what you all wanted me to do.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
These devices in the form of people.
Kim Coles
What the hell is gold lame? Right?
Erica Alexander
Golden May, the pantsuit.
Kim Coles
If you looked at Earth, Wind and Fire, Gap Band, cameo, all those things.
Erica Alexander
That'S how they dress.
Kim Coles
Everybody was dressed like that. That. Those boots that go up high, which.
Erica Alexander
By the way, is back in so much style.
Kim Coles
Back in the day. Didn't they have it so much style?
Erica Alexander
You know, I wonder if those now become classics, because I love gold and gold lame and a little. A little biker jacket like that. Would you rock that? Now me a gold. Maybe not the whole suit, but would you? You would so rock a little gold lame jacket.
Kim Coles
Well, I. You know, if I was drunk and high.
Erica Alexander
Happy birthday to me.
Kim Coles
You have just broke the house record. I'm so glad I'm your best friend.
Erica Alexander
Me too.
Kim Coles
Me too.
Erica Alexander
Me too. Khadisha James.
Kim Coles
Epic.
Erica Alexander
Man, this is your lucky day. I'm here to inform you've just won the American Family Publisher Sweepstakes grand prize, $1,000,000. This is the most amazing day of my life. Yeah, it's too bad it's all a dream.
Kim Coles
She survived it.
Erica Alexander
She did.
Kim Coles
It was all a dream.
Erica Alexander
It was all. All of it was a dream.
Kim Coles
It was. It was.
Erica Alexander
I did meet Flip Wilson, didn't I?
Kim Coles
You might have. You may not have. So it's a bust. It was no Flip. There was no Egg McMahon. Ain't no money. So we got to give props to Yvette Lee Bowser because one of the things she did was a revolving door of amazing talent. And this is an example of that with Ed McMahon and Flip Wilson.
Erica Alexander
We must have been really hot for Flip Wilson to come and say yes. And Ed McMahon, who had been, you know, legendary for being Johnny Carson's sidekick and the host of Star Search, and I got to meet the man. I did Star Search. I did it in the comedy competition. I won one show and lost the very next show by a quarter star.
Kim Coles
So wait a minute. You were a contestant. You weren't a judge. You were a contestant?
Erica Alexander
I was a contestant on Star Search.
Kim Coles
Did he remember you?
Erica Alexander
He did remember me. And what's beautiful about him, I saw him on a. Not only was he kind to me, on Living Single, I ran into him on a plane, and he was like, hey, Kim Coles. I was like, mister, you remember me? He said, I remember all of my stars. And he was so kind and so gentle. He said, I remember all of my. No, I remember all of my kids. I remember all of my kids. He couldn't have been more generous and more lovely and more classy. And I was a guest judge on the reboot of Star Search. With Arsenio hall resurrected, I got to go back to my roots in that deep.
Kim Coles
You came out as a contestant, and you accomplished so much that in later years, you came on as a judge.
Erica Alexander
Even though I lost the second show by one star.
Kim Coles
But you won in life.
Erica Alexander
I won in life.
Kim Coles
Isn't that like Jennifer Hudson?
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
She didn't win that. Ended up going to get the Oscar. Fantasia won. I mean, that's amazing.
Erica Alexander
That's an example of, you know, you go for something and you think that that's the path you're gonna take in order to win. Exactly. And the winning actually comes a completely different way.
Kim Coles
Right.
Erica Alexander
And the way it's meant to happen.
Kim Coles
Deserve to win, but both in their own ways. Ooh.
Erica Alexander
You never know.
Kim Coles
Never give up. Wow. It doesn't seem real now. It really doesn't. But there's so much to say about what's changed between then and now. Well, let's get into it. Let's get into the reverb.
Erica Alexander
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Unknown
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Erica Alexander
This is the reverb Our time to reflect on the episode's themes and how they still echo throughout the culture. So how do you celebrate your birthdays?
Kim Coles
I usually just chill unless TC Is involved. Sorry.
Erica Alexander
Well, you know, so. So in case you all don't know, Erica and TC have the same exact birthday. And so there have been epic birthday celebrations that I thought the two of you planned together.
Kim Coles
If no, it wasn't, he'd come up and say, yeah, baby, our birthdays are coming and I've got something great planned. No, nothing for you to do. Nothing for you to do. Just show up, baby. And I'm like, but I don't wanna. And then he would just, you know, make it happen. But he's in that way. I think that that's where our stars don't align. He might be birthday twins.
Erica Alexander
Well, he loves to entertain, too. He loves inviting people to his home. Like I said, if you've ever seen Christmas at TC Christmas and Thanksgiving at TC Carson's house is a celebration. Yeah. So every day.
Kim Coles
Has anybody ever invited you, like, to a road trip?
Erica Alexander
No, I don't.
Kim Coles
They haven't taken you anywhere?
Erica Alexander
Well, I've been, but not for my birthday. I mean, if I was dating, you know, a certain suitor. Yes, but no one's ever kidnapped you. I don't like surprises. I'm like Khadijah in that way. Don't surprise me. Cause I really want. Cause I think I would plan it better. So I don't want you surprising me because let me in on the planning, because I'm gonna plan it well and have it laid out the way I want it to be. I think one of the things that we have in common is I don't get the sense that we have a fear of aging or there hasn't been a birthday that I was like, I don't want to celebrate it because I don't want to get old. I embrace every age and every stage.
Kim Coles
Right. I don't need no Eat, Pray, love moment.
Erica Alexander
Right.
Kim Coles
But it's Nice if it happens. Actually, you know what? When I turned 30, I kind of freaked out a bit. Oh, okay. And I didn't know. And it came upon me, and I was kind of, you know, feeling anxious and stressed. And my husband, my one husband at the time, Tony, we went for a walk toward the beach. And I sort of, you know, allowed the universe to kind of wash over me. I look at myself and say, are you out of your mind? Like back in the day, people trip over birthdays when they're 30, when they should have been bracing those.
Erica Alexander
Please.
Kim Coles
That's not the birthday to trip over. But we just don't know when our mind's gonna shift and go, wow, I don't know if I'm ready and I haven't done enough and I'm not. And you start to really blame yourself or feel pressure to do something else.
Erica Alexander
I haven't met that age yet. 65 might do that for me. It's coming up. I haven't met an age. I'm like, oh, I think part of it has to do, too, with having great representation of those ages and stages. I have had great aunties that aged beautifully. You did your aunt like, whether they had wrinkles or so.
Kim Coles
I met them when they were older, but they were more fabulous than anybody I ever met that was young. You know, it just shows you from cradle to grave. You should really work on your personalities, your skill sets and communication, whether it's languages and all of that, that really serves you well. Not so much your accomplishments, but how you can create relationship and strengthen and navigate the world. Navigate the world. So then there's Flip, and Flip is the iconic man. We started talking about him a little bit before, but in the variety space, you were talking about that he made history and the types of things he did. But there's a lot of people who came through that door. When we think about dei, they talk about it just in terms of whether it's race or something or being black. But there's much more about what that means. And in the space of, I guess, labor and employment, you think of the Hollywood space sometimes as being segregated. But variety was a space that often those people collided.
Erica Alexander
Here's the thing. I think that with especially variety shows at that time, if the dividing rod was, are you funny?
Kim Coles
Come on.
Erica Alexander
The reckoning was, are you funny? And is this something that the audience will laugh at? I think these are shows that would not make it today.
Kim Coles
Well, people are afraid of everything now. And that, to me, just kills any experimentation. Because if you think about It. He had activists like Muhammad Ali up and through that mug. Right. But he had also the great singers, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight.
Erica Alexander
It was like these centered places where you could come and where America could tune in and listen. There are households and there are neighborhoods that had no people of color, but you could tune in and see the beautiful Diane Carroll singing a song or Aretha Franklin, like you said. And even the Sonny and Cher show created spaces where they had black dancer on the show. I was on one of the best. Living color was the one that came back, and Kenan took from Laughin and Dean Martin, and he said he wanted dancing girls there. He had the fly girls. He borrowed from all of that era. And Fox was like, oh, this is gonna be a hit. And it was. So would you say that Flip Wilson was the Arsenio hall before there was Arsenio Hall? It was a precursor to that, for sure.
Kim Coles
There's no doubt about it.
Erica Alexander
This kind of shows also that. That families would sit down and watch.
Kim Coles
Yes.
Erica Alexander
Together. You know, grandma, all the way down.
Kim Coles
That's right.
Erica Alexander
Including, you know, little kids could sit and watch. And even though you didn't understand some of the, you know, some of the innuendo, it was there for. There for you.
Kim Coles
It's a lost art. And there should be, I think, more opportunities in the mainstream to do things like that. Like the Jerry Lewis telethon you were in.
Erica Alexander
I got a chance to do a guest spot on the Jerry Lewis telethon.
Kim Coles
And it's influenced so many things, like morning shows, the roasts. The roasts were variety shows, in a way.
Erica Alexander
Oh, please. I lived. And the roast before they turned mean. Like, the roasts are mean.
Kim Coles
They're really mean. Now.
Erica Alexander
I don't want to do that. I wouldn't want to do one, nor would I want to be the subject of a roast. Back in the day, they were, you know. You know, you would tell stories about someone, but you don't even know if they were true or not. They were just. They were funny and saucy and wonderful.
Kim Coles
Dean Martin has that great roast. It was unreal.
Erica Alexander
That's what it came from.
Kim Coles
Who's the great insult comedian who we love so much?
Erica Alexander
Don Rickles. I got into an elevator with him once with his wife, and a bunch of us got on. He said, oh, honey, the black people are here. Hide your purse. I was not offended, because that's what he did. He made fun of Jewish people. Cause he was Jewish. He made fun of black people, and he was friends with all of them.
Kim Coles
That's Right. And that was his job. That was his job, is to do that.
Erica Alexander
And none of us got offended at that time. Today, he would be canceled.
Kim Coles
He wouldn't even be allowed. He wouldn't even be allowed. And he was the best at it. I think one of the gifts you have is that you can come into a room and you immediately can connect people. You do it in an opposite way. You say something. Something a little saucy, but you always flirt. Hey, Daddy, looking good. Daddy, you're looking good.
Erica Alexander
Make people feel good. But every one of us, when we walk into a room, we have an idea of what we think someone is like or what they're going through. And I think when I like to connect everyone and we're all on the same plane where we're human and we're lovely and we're light, and if putting myself in this place makes you feel more comfortable and let's do it, then you feel lifted and gifted.
Kim Coles
I think this is where we get our morning shows and the late night. All of that stuff is good stuff. And they did a lot of great work doing that. And I love it with that the Geraldine Jones character that I thought, famously, there's a store that I thought that he'd stopped doing it, that he. It was taking up too much of his life. But then there he was doing it.
Erica Alexander
He was willing to do it on.
Kim Coles
Our show, Yvette Lee, but without the.
Erica Alexander
Wig, without the just saying the famous line.
Kim Coles
And so there's a discussion about, you know, the type of female impersonator that he was. And when they say men in dresses and the people, the performers that use that and have created these iconic characters that built their career. So what's kind of the history and the. And that space and the reinvention and also the rebellion.
Erica Alexander
The reinvention and the rebellion. So it's a big conversation because we've got conversations about men in dresses. Milton Berle, Jack Lemmon, you know, all the white stars who have dressed up. Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot is one of my favorite films. And I have no charge about these men dressed up in dresses. And it was funny. It was well written.
Kim Coles
Yes.
Erica Alexander
But let's go back. It's important to have this context that there was a time when in theater and certainly in Shakespearean times where women weren't allowed on stage, men dressed up in dresses to portray women.
Kim Coles
They absolutely did.
Erica Alexander
Whether it was high comedy or whether it was playing a serious dramatic role. There were no women who were allowed.
Kim Coles
No.
Erica Alexander
So there's a history of men dressed up as women in performing.
Kim Coles
So there's a difference between that and what's being discussed nowadays. And people are afraid of. And there's a lot of censorship in terms of that because they get confused. Performers have always played different characters. That's called character work. And you see it in Miss Doubtfire, you see it in Tootsie. I do a lot of that stuff on stage. I was in plays like the Mahbarata with Peter Brook and Joseph Papp. And that was what you did at the Public Theater. At the Public Theater, Meryl Streep played Hamlet. And I just love that because you're right, it does come from all those times that women were forbidden to be on stage.
Erica Alexander
But now let's get into men dressed as women. There's a new conversation now, especially around black performers. Black men dressing as women and doing these female roles.
Kim Coles
Right. Are they held to it? Do they have a different burden?
Erica Alexander
There's a, you know, a rumor or rule that if a black man is willing to put on a dress and dress up as a woman in a role, that is the sure fire way to stardom. That. That is what the industry. The industry says, put on a dress and we'll make you a star.
Kim Coles
Right?
Erica Alexander
And, you know, there's a lot around that. Could there be freedom from Milton Berle to dress up as a girl and make fun of a girl? But now, you know, when a black man does it, it has a whole other weight to it. Now there's this conversation like, please don't do that, or please don't emasculate us that way. And there's plenty of black men who say, I'll never put on a dress. That is not.
Kim Coles
I won't.
Erica Alexander
I just won't make it that way. And so that's.
Kim Coles
I think it's loaded. And I think that one of the reasons why it's loaded is people don't talk about it.
Erica Alexander
I think we are talking about it.
Kim Coles
We're talking about it, but people are afraid to talk about it outside of being politically used as a thing to punt around when it's time to scare people or make them afraid of people who are in marginalized situations. And let's be clear, those communities are marginalized. And there is something to say about how we speak in those spaces.
Erica Alexander
I wanna go back to something you said. You said that we're not talking about it, but I think there's a huge conversation about black folks deciding whether or not they want to see men in dresses or not so there are people who love Madea and people who don't like Madea for that reason. So I do think.
Kim Coles
Yeah, no, I do think we're talking about it. Absolutely. It's not always in the healthiest way. It's usually at a point where people are, I think, providing information.
Erica Alexander
Name calling or something.
Kim Coles
Yeah.
Erica Alexander
What does it mean about your manhood.
Kim Coles
From a space of fear as opposed to. Let's talk about how we're in this space in a western colonized world.
Erica Alexander
I think.
Kim Coles
Yeah, that's a thing. But, Kim, you got to play in this show, and I guess we'll get to it at some point. A man.
Erica Alexander
Yeah, sure do.
Kim Coles
Jimmy.
Erica Alexander
Jimmy.
Kim Coles
So it's not the same thing for women. No, that's what I'm saying.
Erica Alexander
There are men who feel emasculated by. Who feel. It is emasculating when a man dresses that way. That in order to work, this is what you have to do in order to make it. But that doesn't happen for. I read up on Flip Wilson's development of Geraldine, and it was done out of a place of respect and love for this woman. It was based on a girl that he had a crush on who gave him. Didn't give him the time of day. And so Geraldine was actually strong and had a boyfriend named Killa. And she was a little flirty and she was sassy, and she was an empowered woman. And as a kid, it didn't bother me. I didn't even think about this character being something that wasn't allowed. I thought it was funny. I thought, you know, it was empowering. And Geraldine reminded me of strong women that I liked.
Kim Coles
But I guess it depends on, again, who you are and how you're seeing it, Right? Like, to me, it's play. And I think that we're here on Earth as humans to have these experiences and not to be afraid of having them because we think that we might offend. The problem is we don't get to divine how that person goes into the space. And that's when it can be. It can be difficult. But there's this new generation, Generation next. They are doing great work in comedy. They are leaders and they're fearless, and God bless them. People like Z Way Robin Thede, a.
Erica Alexander
Black lady sketch show. Shout out. I ran into her at the airport recently.
Kim Coles
Go Shout out the Sherman show. That's the Alo Riddle. She does a show here at Heartbeat. One song. Awesome. Awesome, dude. Mikayla Cole. I will destroy you. She will destroy you. She's so good. She's so talented, bless her. You know, these people are, I think, progressive, and I think, in a way, comedy is inherently progressive. It's not conservative. Why do you think that? I mean, the people who do well in comedy usually are the progressive.
Erica Alexander
We are the mirror for society, and we say what others can't or won't, but we know what they're thinking. I think comedians say what people are really thinking and are bravely saying what people are afraid to say.
Kim Coles
And.
Erica Alexander
And one of the things I learned about comedy early on is that the perspective is that you're taking what's taking society and you're turning it a little bit on its side and saying, look at it from this perspective or look at it from this perspective or look at it through the lensing of my childhood. And so we're the great historians. There. I've said it.
Kim Coles
I love it.
Erica Alexander
It's time for True Blue. You know, True Blue. It's the time where we talk to you, where you talk to us, where you ask us a question, and we so generously answer and tell you all the truth, all the time. True Blue.
Kim Coles
All right, so this is from Stacey B. From Detroit. She asked if your characters had access to Twitter, would they be problematic and how often do you think they'd go viral or do you think they would get blind? I think Sinclair on Twitter would be a disaster.
Erica Alexander
Okay.
Kim Coles
Only because I could see her saying something and not meaning to get into something. But I think for the most part, wouldn't you be sending rainbows and love and that type of thing?
Erica Alexander
The same things I do now on Twitter and all the other. You know, I'm not on Twitter anymore. Cause it's X.
Kim Coles
This is how my mother got in trouble on Twitter. She would put, lol, lots of love. But then it was laughing out loud. So somebody had said that their parent or someone had died, and she said, lol. And my sister called her and said, mom, why did you say lol? What do you mean, lots of love? She's like, no, it's laughing out loud.
Erica Alexander
Laugh out loud.
Kim Coles
I'm sorry. Do you think they took. No, Mom, I'm sure they didn't. Big laughing out loud. And so she got off the Book of Faces, as she called it. I'm getting off the book of Faces.
Erica Alexander
I think a lot of times, you know, the written word has gotten folks in trouble in that way. So I think it would. I think it would get Max in trouble because Max would be that weaponized, that bad boy.
Kim Coles
But it would be. But by the Way. I think because she was a lawyer, she'd know. Don't ever write anything down that you can't defend. But, Kyle, their Twitter battle, that right there would be one for the antics.
Erica Alexander
It would be epic.
Kim Coles
It would be epic. And I don't think Khadijah would do anything except for buy my magazine. Right, that's it. Exactly. But to me, the problem is that you might send out something she didn't mean, and next thing you know, she's cleaning it up. I don't hate to say it.
Erica Alexander
She would make sense.
Kim Coles
What about Regine, though? Would she be shopping?
Erica Alexander
Can you shop on the Twitter?
Kim Coles
Your wares out, Putting your wares out?
Erica Alexander
You have thirst traps. Yes, yes, she would. Thirst traps.
Kim Coles
Yes. And signaling to people. Well, I was just at Barney's and like that type of thing.
Erica Alexander
I sometimes wish that social media was around during Living Single. Not even sometimes. I wish that it was around.
Kim Coles
Why? For the audience.
Erica Alexander
For the connection to the audience and for the connection to, you know, to answer these questions in real time, to, you know, to promote the show. I think the show would have been even stronger and bigger, and I think the network would have seen how much more of an impact that we really had. For sure that. Yeah, I kind of wish that that was the case.
Kim Coles
Yes.
Erica Alexander
Yeah, that would have been nice.
Kim Coles
I agree. I think that tools are really lovely.
Erica Alexander
In the right hands.
Kim Coles
In the right hands. That would have been us.
Erica Alexander
That would have been us.
Kim Coles
Thanks for this question.
Erica Alexander
Thank you. And listen, you want your questions answered, we're here for you. Submit your questions to reliving single podcastartbeat.com.
Kim Coles
Right. Exactly.
Erica Alexander
We'd love to hear from you and give you thoughtful answers.
Kim Coles
Well, that's it, y'. All. That's our show. Do we have a time?
Erica Alexander
I. I'm exhausted and like Sinclair, at the beginning of the episode, I still have to go to the bathroom.
Kim Coles
Yes. Oh, God. Thanks for hanging with me. And if you are loving the ride, keep it going. Subscribe and share the link.
Erica Alexander
YouTube, Spotify, Apple, anywhere you find, your.
Kim Coles
Podcast, anywhere you find.
Erica Alexander
I think we're. I always say we're still cute. Watch us. Watch us right here, like you are right now.
Kim Coles
Please. Watch the whole episode, all the way through. That helps us build the community and host a watch party. Right? Right. Yeah. Right.
Erica Alexander
Go on, tag us in your memes and tell your story. We would love to hear how you're feeling about this, how you felt about the show, and so much more.
Kim Coles
Thanks and big love, friends. We love you.
Erica Alexander
Bye for now.
Kim Coles
See you next week, same time, same flavor.
Erica Alexander
Booyah.
Kim Coles
Reliving Single is hosted by me, Erica Alexander and me, Kim Coles. Reliving Single is a production of Heartbeat in association with Color Farm Media, Executive.
Erica Alexander
Produced by Kevin Hart, Jeff Clanagan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander and Ben Alex.
Kim Coles
The show is produced by Kim Coles.
Erica Alexander
Amber Watson is our senior producer.
Kim Coles
Our associate producer is Kenny Jackson.
Erica Alexander
Our video editor is Nee Kirschman.
Kim Coles
Our sound engineers are Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson.
Erica Alexander
Production supervision by Razak Boykin and Brett Calkins.
Kim Coles
Additional production support from Alex Atkins and Z. Taylor.
Erica Alexander
Special thanks to BK Augustine and Dr. E.J. johnson.
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ReLiving Single Podcast: Episode Summary – "Kidnapping Khadijah!"
Podcast Information:
In the "Kidnapping Khadijah!" episode of ReLiving Single, hosts Erika Alexander and Kim Coles dive deep into the Living Single Season 1 Episode 12, titled "Crappy Birthday." This episode centers around Khadijah's unconventional birthday celebration, where her friends surprise her with a road trip to Atlantic City. Erika and Kim unpack the episode's humor, character dynamics, and the broader cultural implications it holds.
The episode "Crappy Birthday" showcases Khadijah being taken on a surprise trip to Atlantic City by her friends. Erika and Kim humorously dissect the premise, highlighting the chaos and comedic elements that ensue.
Surprise Road Trip:
Character Dynamics:
Erika and Kim intertwine personal stories with their analysis of the episode, providing a richer context to their discussions.
Erika’s Experience with Celebrities:
Star Search Memories:
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring how comedy in Living Single both reinforced and challenged stereotypes, especially regarding body image and gender roles.
Body Image and Weight Jokes:
Men in Supervised Roles:
The conversation shifts to the influence of variety shows like Flip Wilson’s on television and comedy, drawing parallels to modern programming.
Historical Context:
Modern Comparisons:
In the "True Blue" segment, Erika and Kim engage with listener questions, providing entertaining and insightful responses based on the Living Single characters.
Hypothetical Twitter Accounts:
Regine’s Thirst Traps:
Erika Alexander and Kim Coles wrap up the episode by reflecting on the enduring legacy of Living Single, its relevance in today's cultural landscape, and the importance of celebrating friendships and personal growth. They encourage listeners to engage with the show's community, share their stories, and continue reliving the moments that made Living Single a beloved classic.
Erika on Surprises:
"I don't want you surprising me because let me in on the planning... [05:26]"
Kim on Body Image:
"It's a fat joke... [09:40]"
Erika on Flip Wilson:
"He was so kind and so gentle... [23:14]"
Discussion on Comedy Progressiveness:
"Comedy is inherently progressive. It's not conservative... [40:28]"
True Blue Listener Question:
"If your characters had access to Twitter, would they be problematic and how often do you think they'd go viral or do you think they would get banned? [27:18]"
Final Thoughts: The "Kidnapping Khadijah!" episode of ReLiving Single offers a nostalgic yet critical look at Living Single, blending humor with meaningful discussions on representation, friendship, and the evolution of comedy. Erika and Kim's engaging dialogue ensures both longtime fans and newcomers gain valuable insights and entertainment from each episode.