Shady Besties

Summary

ReLiving Single – "Shady Besties"

Podcast: ReLiving Single
Hosts: Erika Alexander & Kim Coles
Episode: Shady Besties
Date: October 8, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of ReLiving Single, Erika Alexander and Kim Coles revisit “Friends Like These” (Season 1, Episode 21) of Living Single. Through laughter, candid reflection, and personal anecdotes, the hosts dive deep into the challenges of friendship—especially when money and loyalty are at stake. The episode explores the arrival of Khadijah’s college friend Jackie, whose return disrupts the group’s dynamic, and the larger questions of trust, boundaries, and the “pact” that sustains enduring friendships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Complicated Role of Money in Friendships

[01:14]

• Kim and Erika open with a discussion about money and its impact on relationships, asking “Do you think that the love of money is the root of all evil?”
• Kim shares a personal story about lending money to a friend and feeling betrayed when that friend appeared flush with new clothes but failed to pay her back.

  “She told me she needed it for rent. So we not friends no more.” – Kim Coles [02:02]

• Erika reflects on how financial inconsistencies often signal deeper unreliability in relationships.

2. Episode Recap: "Friends Like These"

[03:22]

• Khadijah’s old college friend Jackie shows up, prompting tension—especially from Max, who remembers Jackie’s outstanding debt to Khadijah.
• Max is immediately wary:

  “Her Spidey sense, it’s like, uh, uh, you know it…” – Kim Coles [03:47]

• Erika enjoys the role reversal where “the moocher has been mooched—Max has been dethroned” [08:25].
• Kyle and Overton’s B-story, involving pet fish and a puppy, adds comic relief and underlines themes of nurturing and one-upmanship.

3. Behind-the-Scenes and Guest Stars

[04:15]

• Jackie is played by Charnelle Brown (of A Different World). Hosts recall the tight community between Living Single and A Different World due to Yvette Lee Bowser’s connections as a writer.

  “That’s wonderful that we have these…the greats, and we get to play with all the greats.” – Kim Coles [05:20]

• Guest star Arsenio Hall is celebrated for uplifting Black and Brown entertainers on his talk show:

  “He laid out the red carpet for them to come and shine.” – Kim Coles [14:22]

4. Deeper Analysis: The Friend Dynamic

[06:03]–[20:07]

• Jackie’s presence throws off the balance, especially for Max, who feels displaced both as Khadijah’s confidant and as the group's resident moocher.
• Erika discusses jealousy and the challenge of seeing a close friendship shift:

  “I mean, not just space and possession…but also displacement. Yes, I was her best friend. And now you are.” – Erika Alexander [18:04]

• Kim explores how Khadijah interprets Max as “strong and independent,” which may mask times Max also needs support, compared to Jackie who is more openly needy.
• Discussion of how unreliable friends may reveal deeper truths about our own boundaries and history.

5. Real-Life Parallels & Friendship Maintenance

[38:09]–[48:55]

• Erika and Kim reflect on their own “32 years” of friendship, drawing parallels to Living Single’s on-screen bonds.
• They share moments of conflict and repair—like Kim kicking Erika out of her trailer or Erika calling out Kim’s gossip, revealing how setting boundaries and making repairs are vital for lasting friendship:

  “We made a pact…we're always gonna come back to love.” – Kim Coles [27:51]
  “I do think repair is important.” – Erika Alexander [46:13]

• Both admit to being stubborn, and laugh about their tendency to want to be “right”—but stress the importance of trust, growth, and accountability.

6. Memorable Quotes & Reflections

• “You don’t have to earn rest.” – Kim Coles quoting her therapist [33:03]
• “The moral of this story is friendship can endure if you choose it powerfully and make the pact to do so.” – Kim Coles [54:34]
• “Friends matter.” – Both hosts [54:45]

7. Black Excellence & Cultural Commentary

[32:03]

• The hosts joyfully riff on Black excellence, line dances, natural hair, and the layers of cultural pride linked to their show’s legacy.

8. Listener Question: “If Living Single Had More Seasons…”

[49:40]

• Kim would want Sinclair and Overton to have twins (“Sincloverton” and “Overclair”) and dreams of Idris Elba guest starring.
• Erika once envisioned Max’s parents being revealed as deceased, affecting her backstory, and jokes that Michael Jackson or Nelson Mandela should have had guest roles.

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• On the ‘pact’ of friendship:

  “We made a pact to each other. No matter what, we're always gonna come back to love.” – Kim Coles [00:04, 27:51, 47:59]

• Arsenio Hall’s importance:

  “He was already giving us a space before anyone had seen us.” – Erika Alexander [15:55]

• Boundary setting between real-life besties:

  “[To Kim] I like you. I really do…But we’re not gonna be able to sustain working together with you constantly coming at me with these stories. Please, you have to find another outlet.” – Erika Alexander [43:49]

• Repair after conflict:

  “[On being kicked out] I walked out with my head up out of that janky trailer.” – Erika Alexander [44:44]

• On jealousy:

  “I just thought about that…this is a lot to do with jealousy. I mean, not just space and possession…but also displacement.” – Erika Alexander [18:04]

• Kim’s personal take:

  “But now we see the truth.” – Kim Coles [25:08]

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Friendship Wisdom & Takeaways

Ingredients for a Healthy Friendship

[36:18–37:19]

• Truth and honesty
• Shared values and growth
• Accountability
• Quality time and trust
• Support (emotional, mental, financial)
• The art of listening versus fixing
• Willingness to repair after conflict

Lasting Pact

• Returning to love, even after disagreements, is a key to longevity.

Iconic Cultural Cameos

• Celebrating trailblazers like Arsenio Hall for making space for Black excellence on television.

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Summary

“Shady Besties” is a heartfelt and humorous exploration of friendship—on screen and off—through the lens of Living Single’s enduring impact. Through stories of lending money, setting boundaries, and navigating jealousy or disappointment, Erika Alexander and Kim Coles demonstrate that real friendships are built on honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to return to love after conflict. Whether discussing the dynamic between Khadijah, Jackie, and Max, or opening up about their own 32-year bond, the hosts deliver both “woo woo woo” wisdom and plenty of laughs, inviting both devoted fans and new listeners to reflect on what makes friendships survive—and thrive.

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Transcript

[Kim Coles]

Coming up on Reliving Single Now.

[Erica Alexander]

We've been friends now for 32 years.

[Kim Coles]

32 years, Erica. We made a pact to each other. No matter what, we're always gonna come back to love.

[Erica Alexander]

We broke the pact a few times. Is the pact still.

[Kim Coles]

No, the pact is still intact.

[Erica Alexander]

No, Gam.

[Kim Coles]

Money, money, money, money. Hey, the moocher has been mooched.

[Erica Alexander]

We're in Hollywood, and you working out next to Kuta Kenta.

[Kim Coles]

Kuta Kinta.

[Erica Alexander]

We've had our moments. Listen, life with you, ain't been no crystal stairs. What? Never too much. Never too much.

[Kim Coles]

Never too much to watch.

[Erica Alexander]

Lying to me. Welcome back to Reliving Single, the official unofficial Living Single rewatch podcast.

[Kim Coles]

Yes.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on.

[Kim Coles]

Money, money, money, money, money.

[Erica Alexander]

All right.

[Kim Coles]

Do you think that the love of money is the root of all evil?

[Erica Alexander]

Ah, okay. I don't know. But they say it's not money that's the root of all evil. It's the love of money that's the root of all evil. Now, it's mostly. Certainly one of the things that can come. Complicated relationship. It's one of the reasons that a lot of relationships die to death. Have you ever fallen out with a friend over money?

[Kim Coles]

Yes, I have. There was a friend that I had many years ago, and she called me and asked me to loan her some money. And I did. And, you know, this is a time when things weren't, you know, I wasn't in the flow of a whole lot of money myself. So I gave her something, and when I saw her next time, she was wearing the latest fashions. I mean, like an outfit for the gods. I was like, how are you wearing the latest stuff? And I'm shopping the clearance rack. But I don't know, I done sent you some money.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, that's messy.

[Kim Coles]

She told me she needed it for rent. So we not friends no more.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, I mean. Well, that's what I'm talking about. I mean, that's exactly it. Money already complicates everything in life. But, you know, I think it. Life gets even messier when, you know, a friend doesn't show up or they're inconsistent. Yeah, yeah, that's messed up because they're unreliable. It just makes everything weird and wears you down.

[Kim Coles]

But we're talking about it now, and we're talking about it in this episode. That's what this show's about.

[Erica Alexander]

You ready to get into it?

[Kim Coles]

Students, those who lead, deserve a car that leads with them, because a car.

[Erica Alexander]

That doesn't move you is a car.

[Kim Coles]

That falls short of amazing.

[Erica Alexander]

That's the Lexus standard. The standard of amazing. Living with schizophrenia isn't easy, especially when you're not getting relief from some of your symptoms. It can be hard when you're still dealing with symptoms like hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there and negative symptoms like feeling unmotivated or avoiding social situations. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to talk to your healthcare provider and explore a different kind of schizophrenia treatment. Discover your [e-mail].

[Kim Coles]

It'S time for the rewind, where we watch and relive living single with you. So today we are reliving Living Singles Season 1, Episode 21 Friends like these and. Ooh, this is a really hot one.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on.

[Kim Coles]

Okay, come on. So Khadijah's shady friend is back. Here she come. Her name is Jackie. She's Khadijah's old college friend. And she's shown up for a visit. And right away, Max's guard goes up.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on.

[Kim Coles]

Her Spidey sense, it's like, uh, uh, you know it. So she's on high alert because she's trying to protect Khadijah because she knows that Jackie still owes Khadijah money. And deep down, Max is pretty sure that Jackie didn't come to say hi. She comes to ask for some more money. Uh oh, and then there's a B story.

[Erica Alexander]

There's a B story. Kyle and Overton are feeling the urge to nurture. Yep, even the guys want to nurture. Overton gets a tank of fish, but Kyle's new fish, a bigger one, eats them. Damn. To make up for it, Kyle gives Overton a puppy.

[Kim Coles]

It was written by Ellen Svaco and Colleen Tabor, directed by our beloved Ellen Falcon, also known as Gittleson. And years later. And we guest stars. We have some guest stars. We have Charnel Brown.

[Erica Alexander]

Come on. Charnell Brown from A Different world.

[Kim Coles]

And Wonder.

[Erica Alexander]

And Arsenio Hall.

[Kim Coles]

Arsenio hall himself as himself too.

[Erica Alexander]

Jackie. Hey, Max. What's up, baby?

[Kim Coles]

Max. Oh.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes, yes, yes. Big hug.

[Kim Coles]

What you doing in New York?

[Erica Alexander]

I thought I'd take a crack at acting. You know, the legitimate stage. And Khadijah, I promise as soon as things start working for me, I will pay back that money you owe me.

[Kim Coles]

Money?

[Erica Alexander]

$226. Borrowed in June of 1986. Give me a minute. I'll figure out the interest. Let's talk a second.

[Kim Coles]

Let's have a.

[Erica Alexander]

About the great Charnel Brown. A Different World.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

She played Kimberly Reese on A Different World.

[Kim Coles]

Sure did.

[Erica Alexander]

Kimberly was going to be a doctor for people who are paying attention. She is the third member, cast member of Different World that has now come on the show.

[Kim Coles]

And that probably speaks to the relationship that Yvette Lee Bowser, who had been a writer on A Different World, had with these actors, like, come on and do my other. And so that's wonderful that we have these. The greats, and we get to play with all the greats.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

And she's a doll baby, too. She is a doll baby, too.

[Erica Alexander]

She really is. So what we're also finding out here is that Khadijah has given her money because Max tells her right up front she remembers it. But we also. I'm a little surprised because Khadijah ain't as cheap as we thought she was. She gave her some money.

[Kim Coles]

Maybe she's cheap now because she's been lending money then, but she doesn't even remember that she loaned her money.

[Erica Alexander]

Isn't that interesting?

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

So to her, for some reason, she's got a little, you know, soft spot.

[Kim Coles]

A little soft soft spot for her.

[Erica Alexander]

And it's kind of messed up.

[Kim Coles]

You said something to me while we were watching the clip about Sharnell's walk. Yes, she does have an iconic walk.

[Erica Alexander]

She does. Sharnell Brown has a great walk.

[Kim Coles]

She does.

[Erica Alexander]

It's powerful, you know, mogulesque for her size. She sort of comes in and, you know, the waisted. She holds herself and she's like small but mighty.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. She takes up space in a way that's not stealing the space, but she takes it up and owns it always. And plus, that coat helped her out, too. Like it flowed with her. It was.

[Erica Alexander]

It was great.

[Kim Coles]

Great to see her in that space.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. We all know big trouble comes in small packages, so this ain't gonna be good. Let's see what's going on.

[Kim Coles]

And that beautiful smile.

[Erica Alexander]

That's right. Hey, Maxim. Jackie. You're still here. In my chair. Yes. Where are the raisin bagels? My mouth was all set for a raisin bagel. I need my raisin bagel. Oops. There's still some left. Okay, if you've got a problem with Jackie, take it up with Khadijah. I mean, she's her friend now. Do you think I would waste my time venting to you two if I could talk to Khadijah? As far as she's concerned, Jackie can do no wrong.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[Erica Alexander]

I feel the same way about LeVar Burton.

[Kim Coles]

So we see now that Jackie has taken up residence and Max is not having it. So it's the next morning. Now, is it about the fact that she's mooching off Khadijah, or is it the fact that she's coming and taking up space, your space?

[Erica Alexander]

I'd say both.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, you gonna be a moocher and you moochin in my mooch space.

[Kim Coles]

That's right.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, Max is the moocher. So you. She coming in looking for what? Her coffee? Gone. Ain't nothing in there.

[Kim Coles]

When you go into the cup and you just feel nothing.

[Erica Alexander]

Nothing. It's great. By the way, she's in her seat. Yes, that's Max's seat at the table.

[Kim Coles]

That's right.

[Erica Alexander]

And in the last straw then, you took my raisin bagel.

[Kim Coles]

Come on now. And then she gives you half of it and you take it and throw it away. You don't even take it and eat it.

[Erica Alexander]

Hell no.

[Kim Coles]

Why would you eat after somebod.

[Erica Alexander]

Exactly. I can't, you know, reward a moocher.

[Kim Coles]

No, no.

[Erica Alexander]

So, I mean, I just love it because it's. It flips the script on Max. Now she knows what it's like.

[Kim Coles]

The moocher has been mooched. The moocher has been moved out the.

[Erica Alexander]

Way Max has been dethroned.

[Kim Coles]

Right.

[Erica Alexander]

So, yeah, I think that it's nice because we needed some, you know, energy, and it's nice that it's female energy and that it's a friend of Khadijah and Max and they all went to college together. So we all know if you go to school together that there's a different dynamic. And it's cool sometime when you're with your friend you like, but when the other friend that they like and you didn't like comes in, can mess up the whole.

[Kim Coles]

Changes the whole dynamic. And let's just have a moment. Also for Sinclair, loving on LeVar Burton, which is wonderful.

[Erica Alexander]

Hey, listen, that's what's up.

[Kim Coles]

Who. Why wouldn't you choose the best? By the way, a little fun fact. LeVar Burton's wife did the makeup for our pilot, the great Stephanie Cozart Burton, who's still an amazing makeup artist. And I worked with her on In Living Color. And when I worked with her then she was engaged to Levar and now married for 1,000 years. And so just want to do a shout out.

[Erica Alexander]

He helped me with my living single contract negotiations. So I was working at Gold's Gym, working out at Gold's Gym. And when I'd go there, there'd be Dr. Dre there. And there was also LeVar Burton would work out there. Now, imagine we're in Hollywood and you working out next to Kunta Kinte.

[Kim Coles]

Kunta Kinte and.

[Erica Alexander]

The Chronic. You know what I'm saying? So I said that only in la. So I thought he just looked like somebody who had been around and an elder. And I said, Mr. Burton, he was like, levar, please. I said, I'm a fan. And I told him what was going on. He said, erica, let me tell you something. Whatever they offer you, can you walk away? If you're. You know, like, if what? If you imagine what it is to walk away and you're okay with that, then you can do anything. But if you imagine that if you did lose a job, you wouldn't like what was on the other side, then, you know, you have to stay in negotiation. You've got to. And you might have to maybe take something you didn't like because you. And I was like, thank you. Because he gave me permission to say no. But he also said there's consequences. So, you know, I obviously stayed, but.

[Kim Coles]

But he gave you that beautiful understanding of knowing how far to push it for yourself. So have you ever gotten to that place in the negotiation and you were like, I will walk if they don't give me this. And you're fine with, like, you know what? It's gonna be great. I'll be all right on the other side. And then they met your demands. You're like, oh, man, I kind of wish they hadn't given it to me. Cause I kind of wanted to go meet you.

[Erica Alexander]

Yep, that's happened, too, girl. More than I thought. Tell them the number is this.

[Kim Coles]

Right? And, like, they come back with this, and you're like, oh, damn, that's a good place to be.

[Erica Alexander]

It is.

[Kim Coles]

That's a good problem to have. It is.

[Erica Alexander]

Because at least now you know that the amount, the renumeration is equal to the labor.

[Kim Coles]

That's right.

[Erica Alexander]

Because you may not like the material, but maybe you say, you know what, though?

[Kim Coles]

At least I'm getting paid.

[Erica Alexander]

Right. And, you know, and as long as it doesn't demean or take away your integrity, it's all good.

[Kim Coles]

Right? All right. Good problems to have.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. So thank you to the great LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton of Star Trek.

[Kim Coles]

He's over there. Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, he's not just Kunta Kinte. He's reading Rainbow and all that, but he's also an Elder, and he's one of the Smartest people. And we also campaign together, so I love Levar.

[Kim Coles]

I love it.

[Erica Alexander]

Jackie is going to hook me up.

[Kim Coles]

With Arsenio for the COVID of Flavor. Get out.

[Erica Alexander]

We Arsenio.

[Kim Coles]

The Arsenio. Well, I'm going to go tell Overton and the fish.

[Erica Alexander]

I find her consistently stupefying. Well, I think she's the kind of person that makes things happen.

[Kim Coles]

She convinced me to start Flavor when everybody else said it couldn't be done, including you.

[Erica Alexander]

Hey, I never said you couldn't. I just pointed out the odds on a young, single black woman with no collateral getting loans from the middle aged, white, male dominated banking industry. Okay, Our city hall.

[Kim Coles]

Come on, that would be kidding.

[Erica Alexander]

And everyone's hyped except Max, of course, who's not buying it. She's like, how is this still your friend? Did we get it? Jackie was the first one to believe in Khadijah's dream.

[Kim Coles]

Do you really believe that Max didn't believe in Khadijah's dream? Or does Khadijah really believe it? Just cause Jackie was like, I got you. This is gonna be hot. This is gonna be amazing. Because the advice that you give her is realistic. It makes sense. I don't think it meant. It doesn't sound to me at all that you didn't believe in her dream.

[Erica Alexander]

No.

[Kim Coles]

You're just giving her other things to think about.

[Erica Alexander]

No, no, not at all. And so maybe it's how we' but the truth is she was saying before anybody there was Jackie. I mean, I think the thing to hear about Max explanation is that she was like, I believed in it. But I also was telling you that you weren't going to get any capital, you weren't going to get anybody in this white, you know, sort of male dominated, you know, I don't know, economic system to give you the money you needed because you were young and single and all that. Jackie was more supportive. Just do it. Just do it. And Max was like, yeah, but you're not gonna get this right.

[Kim Coles]

Just be aware of the pitfalls or be aware of what's out there to come. There is such a difference. And I think we do that we have people in our lives that are super, super cheerleads, like, yeah, girl, you gonna do that? Yeah. And it's like. And then she's gone. She has no means of other help other than like, you gonna do this girl. And you're like giving her real solid advice. Just so you know, there's some things that you need to look out for. And so I. It's just.

[Erica Alexander]

And that's probably the difference between them. There's a Flavor Flav hype man of Jackie, and then there's Max, who's gonna stay with you and figure out. But that's the one who's gonna look.

[Kim Coles]

And stick with her.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you.

[Kim Coles]

As you did. And loan her money.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, loan her money. Come on. Where's Jackie been?

[Kim Coles]

Where's Jackie?

[Erica Alexander]

Coming to hype everybody up and then disappear.

[Kim Coles]

I'm on Max's side.

[Erica Alexander]

Me too. Me, too. Oh, my goodness. Meanwhile, Arsenio Hall.

[Kim Coles]

Arsenio Hall. Let's just have a moment of silence or joy or something for Arsenio.

[Erica Alexander]

Fly.

[Kim Coles]

Fly.

[Erica Alexander]

Arsenio hall was. This was the Arsenio hall era. He debuted in 1989, and so he was already on when we came on.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

He was right.

[Kim Coles]

Ye. At a time when black and brown acts couldn't get booked on other shows. So they came and Arsenio laid, you know, laid out the red carpet for them to come and shine.

[Erica Alexander]

It was just.

[Kim Coles]

It was a great experience. And we did the show. We, as the cast of Living Single, went and we did. We had so much fun. It was so sweet.

[Erica Alexander]

We were so excited. I mean, he's the best. It was the best.

[Kim Coles]

I had done the first season of In Living Color, and then I went back on the road to open for Luther Vandross, and then I came off the road.

[Erica Alexander]

Did she just drop that? Oh, then there's back on the road to open for Luther.

[Kim Coles]

Luther Evangelist. This is one of the best times of my life.

[Erica Alexander]

Never too much.

[Kim Coles]

Never too much to watch. Kind to me.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay, we're gonna have to get to that. Keep going.

[Kim Coles]

We'll have a separate conversation.

[Erica Alexander]

My God.

[Kim Coles]

So I went and did the Arsenio hall show, and he was so kind and so generous, and he did that thing that the best talk show hosts do, letting your guests have their moment. Okay, so your job is to shine, but mostly allow your guests to shine, and that makes you shine.

[Erica Alexander]

I remember how hard Arsenio hall worked in those moments. He leaned forward. Yes.

[Kim Coles]

But I hear he'd sit forward.

[Erica Alexander]

He'd sit forward, and he leaned like this.

[Kim Coles]

And this is culture. This is our culture. That whole dog pound thing. That. That's him. That's him. Deserved every accolade that he got and probably deserves way more flowers than he received.

[Erica Alexander]

He did. And he had us on two days before our pilot aired.

[Kim Coles]

That's right.

[Erica Alexander]

So he was already giving us a space before anyone had seen us.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Again, who fills that space anymore. No one, no one, no, not anyone.

[Kim Coles]

Feel welcomed and welcome to Shine. What is the fascination with the fish? I mean, you can't teach them tricks, you can't pet them, and if you take them out for a walk, they die.

[Erica Alexander]

But their world is so much like yours, Kyle. I mean, they're self sufficient. Only the strongest survive, and the pretty boys get all the female. Is that so? Hey, check it out, Kyle. Little Coco's looking at you, right?

[Kim Coles]

Yes, she is. She's saying, kyle, don't hate me because I'm scaly. I love the way Sharnel's character, Jackie, charms him and explains to him, why, oh, why wouldn't she love you? You know, she. Why aren't these fish just like you? And she charms him.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes, we see her gift of, you know, and I want to call it the powers of her manipulation. She's a gifted person. She speaks straight to his ego. And then suddenly, something that he was annoyed about, he's open to because he said, they're like you, Kyle. I mean, you know, the pretty boy gets all the girls and he's like, oh, is that so? So that's great.

[Kim Coles]

We're also getting a sense of to see how Jackie is obviously manipulating all of us now, right? Yeah, we see it and Maxine knows it.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Coles]

What's about to happen next?

[Erica Alexander]

Come on. But we both know it's just a matter of time before she starts working her way back into your wallet. Max, give it a rest. Ooh, sorry I'm late, but I had an audition. Where's my desk boss? Not a word. The job job search seems to have gone well. Jackie's our newest file clerk and assistant. I'm taking her under my wing.

[Kim Coles]

Khadijah. It's your tax guy online, too. Not a happy camper.

[Erica Alexander]

What the hell?

[Kim Coles]

What the entire hell.

[Erica Alexander]

Khadijah has now hired her.

[Kim Coles]

I love this confrontation. Confrontation that you do with. With Jackie. And it's so physical. Does anyone think that you're jealous of her? Are you jealous of her?

[Erica Alexander]

Absolutely. I just thought about that, looking at that clip, that this is a lot to do with jealousy. I mean, not just space and possession, you know, and like, you're taking up space, but also displacement. Yes, I was her best friend. And now you are. And look at what she's doing to make sure that she accommodates you. What?

[Kim Coles]

Come on in. Eat my food. Stay with me. Here's a job.

[Erica Alexander]

Here's a job. And you got my raisin bagel. Still? She's still smoking over that one. So that's a lot you can't have, you know, Khadijah and my bagel, you know.

[Kim Coles]

But here's something that's interesting. Khadijah sees Max as powerful, smart, capable, doesn't need any help, independent. And maybe she sees Jackie as. Jackie needs a little help. She's here, she's still trying to figure herself out. Do you think that it's like sort of just, you know, homes for the poor?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh hell, you know, you think it's for sympathy or pity?

[Kim Coles]

Could it be sympathy or could it be like, oh, she ain't got herself together. Go ahead girl, you can have this.

[Erica Alexander]

I don't know, it doesn't seem like that. I think you just have different relationship with different friends and you operate differently. And maybe Max really never liked Jackie because again, she's unreliable.

[Kim Coles]

Right.

[Erica Alexander]

So I think somebody who could ask from somebody for that much money, by the way, that's a lot of money when you're young. Two hundred and something dollars. Yes. And then just disappear and then come back in your life and promise things and leave. She's obviously triggered probably from her own past. Who knows what made Max very independent and self reliant. Often when you see those people, they're the people who have been disappointed the most.

[Kim Coles]

Of course.

[Erica Alexander]

Of course. So this is obviously a space that.

[Kim Coles]

So this is triggering something for her. Very likely.

[Erica Alexander]

I think so I want to know.

[Kim Coles]

I want to ask the friends watching the show, who, who's who's right here?

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Would you choose Max or would you choose Jackie? In this case, Max or Jackie? Max or Jackie?

[Erica Alexander]

Max.

[Kim Coles]

Enough said. Okay.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you. She isn't a stupid woman, just a pear shaped one. So finally I had to sit her down one day and I said, April, April.

[Kim Coles]

You're a pair.

[Erica Alexander]

Max. Jackie is like family to me now. I accept her for who she is. If you can't, that's your problem. Come on, Khadidra, when are those alarms gonna go off? Come on. She's using you.

[Kim Coles]

See, that's just like you.

[Erica Alexander]

You look for the negative.

[Kim Coles]

At least she can be supportive now.

[Erica Alexander]

That's what I did with April. Okay, that's an epic, epic scene.

[Kim Coles]

It's an epic scene.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. Between Khadijah, Max and Reggie inserts herself.

[Kim Coles]

Listen, the writing on that, the movement on that was just great.

[Erica Alexander]

It was, it truly was. And Kim Fields played it pitch perfectly.

[Kim Coles]

She did. She did.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, and so do we gotta give props to me and Dana.

[Kim Coles]

Come on, Gordon, the alarm's gonna go up. Come on, come on, come on. It's great.

[Erica Alexander]

Dana is great.

[Kim Coles]

Because Dana's in your face like this. It's great.

[Erica Alexander]

But also when Kim Field's character Regine interrupts, you know, we wait respectfully, then we move. Then you move right back. We move right back into it. Cause we're used to her, right? You know what I'm saying? So what I like is that sort of, you know, comedic dance that they're doing. But what they're talking about is real. Because now Max is confronting Khadijah, saying, hey, look, now, you know, don't you see? Wake up. She's playing you. And it ends, you know. Not necessarily. Well, because she doesn't convince Khadijah that Jackie is a moocher. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

No.

[Erica Alexander]

I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our fish family.

[Kim Coles]

Yes. A fish so rare, so handsome, so manly, that he can only be called by one name.

[Erica Alexander]

Kyle Barker. Hey, Kyle, wake up, man.

[Kim Coles]

Wake up.

[Erica Alexander]

What?

[Kim Coles]

What?

[Erica Alexander]

They gone, Kyle. They gone.

[Kim Coles]

Overton, man. All right, look, Kyle Barker's still here. So there's gotta be some explanation, right?

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, that's an explanation. He ate em all. Look at him, just licking his chop. Meanwhile, up in the guy's apartment, Kyle has now got the fish bug and he's bought his own fish.

[Kim Coles]

Kyle Barker. Kyle Barker. Who names a fish their whole name?

[Erica Alexander]

That's nuts.

[Kim Coles]

He does.

[Erica Alexander]

He does.

[Kim Coles]

And we then go and visit their apartment in the early morning where we get to see both of our beautiful handsome men in shirtless. Shirtless.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you. Come on. All greased up.

[Kim Coles]

Looking good, Looking shiny and good.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, did they work out?

[Kim Coles]

I think. You know what I think. I don't know if they. They obviously did work out. Cause there is some muscle definition. But I think they were both backstage doing some push ups real quick just to give a nice punk. Now you do a push up just before you do the scene. It pumps the blood right into the bicep.

[Erica Alexander]

TC used to do at least 100 or 200, he'd be back there going at it.

[Kim Coles]

So we can maybe say they went to the gym or maybe they ate clean or maybe they did a little pump just before the show.

[Erica Alexander]

Maybe we had better food and we didn't eat as many processed foods back in the day.

[Kim Coles]

Maybe we lotioned them up. Not looking good.

[Erica Alexander]

The makeup department looking good. So he's brought his fish, Kyle Barker, and has put it in the fish tank.

[Kim Coles]

The tank with all the other fish.

[Erica Alexander]

But then guess what? They wake up in the morning shirtless and Overton gets in there and sees that his fish are gone.

[Kim Coles]

They have been devoured by Kyle Barker. Excuse me, Khadijah.

[Erica Alexander]

Can I borrow $50? Are the words cash machine written across my forehead. What do you need $50 for?

[Kim Coles]

Well, I lend Jackie $200. Yes, and according to my calculations, I only have 150 in my account. You borrowed money from Sinclair?

[Erica Alexander]

What for needles and ink? I don't care what it was for. Look, I. I still have the money. I can. I can give it back. Well, you will, but that's not even the point. How are you ever supposed to get where you going if you change directions every two weeks? I know what you were saying, Khadijah. But when something feels right for me, I go for it. And I really believe that this is the thing. Jackie, I know you believe what you're saying. I'm just not so sure I do anymore. And I need to stop leaning on my friends. Yes. Besides, it's time I paid a visit to my parents.

[Kim Coles]

So now I think Jackie's a freeloader. And she's not only is she a freeloader, but she's aimless, she's confused, she's just flighty. She's flighty. And this is what Maxine knows about her all along.

[Erica Alexander]

It's true. But, Kim, you just coming to that conclusion?

[Kim Coles]

No, I thought it all along. I've been on your side. I've been on your side the whole time. I've been. But now. Now we see the truth.

[Erica Alexander]

The truth comes because guess what? Guess who she asked for that money from. So the money she asked for is $500 she didn't get. But she had already asked for money from Sinclair. And that brings out the protective nature of Khadijah's character.

[Kim Coles]

That's the final straw.

[Erica Alexander]

That's the final straw. She's like, nah, no. You gonna give her her money back?

[Kim Coles]

Cause you know Khadijah, Sinclair's vulnerable and gullible for sure. And now I can't even cover my own bills. But I've bought into Jackie. Sinclair has bought into Jackie's dreams.

[Erica Alexander]

That's hilarious. You gave her more than you had.

[Kim Coles]

I gave her more than I had.

[Erica Alexander]

And that is also the beautiful thing about Sinclair. She said, okay, I'll get it from somewhere.

[Kim Coles]

And then realize like, oh, I don't have it. And now I gotta get it from Khadijah. And there's a little uncomfortable moment when Jackie and Sinclair pass each other, and I'm like, you know, I don't Even want to say to her like, that really hurt me. That really messed me up. I gave you that money, and now that really hurt me. But Khadijah does the job. Like, what you're doing is really not right.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, it's too. Too little, too late.

[Kim Coles]

Right?

[Erica Alexander]

You know, that's tough love conversation. Do you think that Khadijah should have had it earlier?

[Kim Coles]

I think Khadijah didn't realize it. She was blinded by this friend who is, you know, charming and, you know, has believed in her dreams. And maybe we see that having a friend believe in your dream from the beginning means so much to Khadijah that she's willing to be blinded to how many times she's been used by this friend. Right. And how she may be, you know, pushing Max off to favor this friend at this particular time. And so she finally sees the light.

[Erica Alexander]

So was it done in a loving way? Did Khadijah have the conversation? And even though she was upset, do you think she laid it on her?

[Kim Coles]

I think she laid it on her. I think it was firm and true to people like this, they always find a way. So. Yep, you're right. You're right. Time for me to go see my parents. So we all know people like that, who. They will always find a way. They'll just go mooch someplace else. And this is probably how she's gonna be the rest of her life until most definitely.

[Erica Alexander]

I think that these uncomfortable friend conversations need a how to guide. So what's the best approach?

[Kim Coles]

Like, what would you suggest? Definitely face to face. Okay. In each other's face. Yes, definitely. Without other people there. Right. Alone. We got to be in a. In a space that's one to one.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

You know, we made a pact to each other when we started this process because we had, like, a little.

[Erica Alexander]

Little.

[Kim Coles]

A little kerfuffle, for sure. And we decided, like, no matter what, we're always gonna come back to love. Or we'll always do it with. Because the love is there, and there's no reason for it to get like. So we.

[Erica Alexander]

We made a pact, and we almost done it. We broke the pack a few times. Is the pack still.

[Kim Coles]

No, the pact is still intact.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay.

[Kim Coles]

The pact is still intact because we made a promise to each other.

[Erica Alexander]

We did.

[Kim Coles]

And so I think to make a promise, you have to decide if the friendship really is worth it. So would it be worth it for her to keep this moocher on for forever and forever? I think it's worth it to keep the love with someone like you, I'm dedicated. No matter how much you drive me cuckoo or no matter how much I drive you cuckoo. I know that you're gonna come back to love. Cause hopefully I'm worth it.

[Erica Alexander]

She can cut me.

[Kim Coles]

Cause I'm worth it. And hopefully I'm worth it. It.

[Erica Alexander]

When someone is worth it, you are worth it.

[Kim Coles]

I'm. I'm dying here.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, but what about your allergies, though, man?

[Kim Coles]

Oh, it's cool, cuz you will be buying antihistamines.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay, Watch.

[Kim Coles]

I'm looking for Khadijah James.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm Khadijah James. No, no, no, no. I'm Khadijah James.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, me too. Come on, have a seat. Have a seat.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay. You know, fish, Fish, fish. They make up. They get a puppy. Who cares?

[Kim Coles]

Arsenio Hall. Wait, just. We never see that puppy again.

[Erica Alexander]

No, we never see that puppy again. It was a great rottweiler or something. Fabulous.

[Kim Coles]

And then there's Arsenio Hall.

[Erica Alexander]

Then there's Arsenio Hall.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, and he was such a love to come on the show, and it was lovely to have him.

[Erica Alexander]

That's what's up. And just looking just. And handsome and amazing. He was a force of nature. And it was an Arsenio hall era. There were a few eras. There were Spike Lee errors and Sonny Hall. They bump up against each other. The Wayans era, you know, the Cosby era, the Will Smith era. There were all these again, amazing, Amazing. I mean, it's great to say we lived through it.

[Kim Coles]

We did. We were there.

[Erica Alexander]

We watched it. Perhaps this is just my carcass talking, but I really am so happy that I got to see it up front. And to say that we saw these giants that really changed or tried to disrupt, you know, the industry.

[Kim Coles]

And did. And they did and did.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

So you know what happens in that scene, which is so sweet. And listen, you and I have had the benefit of being a person of note. And I'm sure you've been swept into a room that way with somebody changing their wig and primping, somebody saying, take a picture. Someone's just grabbing you in. Cause Regenera, when she saw, she's run upstairs and gets her good wigs.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm Deeja James. But then after that, her second thought is, let me go get a better wig on. Ran upstairs, comes down with a brand new wig and sit up there, settling in, right?

[Kim Coles]

And fluffing the wig the whole time for the photo.

[Erica Alexander]

Kim Fields running upstairs like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, stomping Up them damn stairs and then coming back down. The audience was cracking.

[Kim Coles]

They loved it. Cause there was so much eye candy to witness what was going on.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes. I love those grace notes inside of things that are happening. Wonderful. Yeah, it was good.

[Kim Coles]

And we both admit that we have a version of that picture. So he really did take pictures with us on the set. And Yvette Lee Bowser and I think maybe the writers of this episode.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, they were everybody shoving their butts in there to get in that picture. And he's in the middle, all crowded up, you know, everybody's like this.

[Kim Coles]

Everybody's loving on him.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes. And then we had our own set photographer take the picture. It's a great thing, you know, he was gracious. Yeah, he's amazing. The smile, right?

[Kim Coles]

Oh, please.

[Erica Alexander]

He deploys it like boom. Yeah, It's a weapon. Ooh.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. It's a beautiful weapon.

[Erica Alexander]

Fear not, get hit by it. Yes. I love Arsenio. This is a good guy.

[Kim Coles]

We need more like him. Okay, Erica, talk to me. Black excellence. Go. I'll start living single.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay. Our beautiful melanin in all shades. Family cookouts, hip hop, R and B, basically every genre of music.

[Kim Coles]

Okay. You know how we invented all them line dances? And people know the songs and they know how to do all the line dances. How do we do that? Black Excellence?

[Erica Alexander]

I don't know. In our hair. Our hair. The way it grows from our scalp. We can do so much natural locs, cornrows.

[Kim Coles]

And it fades. Exactly. See, Black Excellence has layers. You see what I did there?

[Erica Alexander]

I saw it.

[Kim Coles]

And Lexus will they understand and deliver the luxury that we deserve.

[Erica Alexander]

Because when you embody excellence, you need a ride that moves like you do. Smooth, smart, and impossible to ignore.

[Kim Coles]

Aww. From the moment that you touch that wheel, Alexis says, I didn't just show up, I showed out.

[Erica Alexander]

No, it's more than a car. It represents how you walk through the world. Intentional, grounded, fly without even trying.

[Kim Coles]

Because that's what Alexis does. It makes you feel amazing and look good, too. Well, then there's that. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year, Better Help is shining a well deserved light on the people who hold us down. The therapists. Now, look, I've had therapy, and let me tell you, there was one session where my therapist said something so simple, but it cracked me wide open. She said, you don't have to earn rest. Well, I gotta tell you, that that stayed with me. So if you're struggling or if something's just keeping you up at night, talking to someone can help. And BetterHelp makes it just so easy. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform for a reason. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, well, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com reliving that's B-E-T T E R H E L P.com reliving.

[Erica Alexander]

Cooler days are here and baby, that means layers. Good layers. And for me, that means quints. They're $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters, soft as a whisper and fine as fall wine. The premium denim fits like it was tailored by somebody who knows you personally. And don't get me started on the wool coats. I'm eyeing their oversized pea coat and navy designer vibes, but for a fraction of the price. Here's the thing. Quince works directly with ethical factories and skips the middleman, so you get luxury quality for way less. It's smart, it's sustainable, and it looks damn good. I've got their cashmere crew neck on rotation and that mulberry silk robe? Well, let's just say my mornings are upgraded. Find your fall Staples at quints. Go to quints.com single for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Single this episode is brought to you by Rakuten. If you're shopping while working, eating, or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of a deal. But are you getting the deal and cash back? Rakuten shoppers? Do they get the brands they love? Savings and cash back? And you can get it too. Stack sales on top of cash back and feel what it's like to know you're maximizing savings. It's easy to use and you get cash back sent to you through PayPal or check. The idea is simple. The brands you love pay Rakuten for sending them shoppers, and Rakuten shares the money with you as cash back. Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. It's the most rewarding way to shop. That's R A K U t e n rakuten.com all right y', all, welcome.

[Kim Coles]

To the Reverb brought to you by Lexus. Y' all know this is where we reflect and connect and talk about how the episode's themes still echo in the culture. Because just like our stories, Lexus keeps raising the bar. That's the standard of amazing.

[Erica Alexander]

So what are the ingredients for a healthy friendship?

[Kim Coles]

Truth, honesty, and the American way. No, honesty. And, you know, I think what propaganda.

[Erica Alexander]

Book you looking at? That's ridiculous.

[Kim Coles]

I think shared values is nice.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes.

[Kim Coles]

Right.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes.

[Kim Coles]

Accountability, growth.

[Erica Alexander]

Because if you. If you. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Being.

[Erica Alexander]

We have to grow together.

[Kim Coles]

You do.

[Erica Alexander]

You do in some way, right? Maybe not in some way. Yeah. It's hard to be friends with people who don't grow. Then you go, you know, I've outgrown you. Those people kind of fall off.

[Kim Coles]

They do.

[Erica Alexander]

They get. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Quality time.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Wow.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

That's hard.

[Kim Coles]

I have friends that I don't get to see very often, but when we do, it's rich. It's, you know, intense and beautiful.

[Erica Alexander]

And those two hours really rock.

[Kim Coles]

Or my cup gets filled. I have friends that my cup gets filled just with a little bit of.

[Erica Alexander]

Time and a little trust. Trust. Trust.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, yeah, trust.

[Erica Alexander]

If you want to be friends with somebody, they got to trust you.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. I love that. Emotional, mental financial support. Sometimes.

[Kim Coles]

Sometimes I think you need support.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. And people willing to do it.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, and this one's big. Listening. Listening. Not just telling or fixing. Yeah, I know. I've been known to. What can we do to fix? Well, how can we fix that? That's if someone, you know, is open to it. And that's another one, too. Is asking, would you like me just to listen? Like, this is a really great. Do you want me just to listen, or do you want me to help you find a solution?

[Erica Alexander]

For sure.

[Kim Coles]

And you get to. You must do what that friend has deemed necessary at this moment.

[Erica Alexander]

Absolutely. Now, we've been friends now for 32 years.

[Kim Coles]

32 years, Erica. Wow.

[Erica Alexander]

I know. Oh, Kim.

[Kim Coles]

32 years.

[Erica Alexander]

Wow. Let's discuss it.

[Kim Coles]

Let's talk about it.

[Erica Alexander]

It's 32 years. We have common ground.

[Kim Coles]

We do. Yeah, we do.

[Erica Alexander]

Both of our mothers are educators.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

And both our fathers were ministers.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah. And my father didn't become a minister until I was much older, but. So he was much older, But I love that we have that in common.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kim Coles]

And that's me. Yeah, that's. That's beautiful.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

And your mother. Your mother. My mother is similar in their. Their kindness and their, you know, formality. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

They have a certain way about them, lady, that makes you sit a little straighter.

[Kim Coles]

Absolutely.

[Erica Alexander]

Absolutely.

[Kim Coles]

Although my mother will Tell a dirty joke. I don't think.

[Erica Alexander]

I imagine your mother, Ms. Sammy, would not be.

[Kim Coles]

My mother told me a dirty joke.

[Erica Alexander]

She'll laugh at a dirty joke.

[Kim Coles]

That's all you need.

[Erica Alexander]

Bernice tells it. Ms. Sammy will do it. If Bernice tells it. She just adores your mother.

[Kim Coles]

Yeah, and my mother adores your mother, too.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

And your mother protected her one time. I don't know if you know this story. My mother's sisters, you met them, they loved you. Were very overbearing at times because she's the baby sister, and they would talk over her. And one time, your mother. They were all visiting, and your mother said, well, let's. Let's let Bernice tell her story now. And my mother said, I was so happy that Sammy. She came and she took my side, Kim. It was wonderful. She saw what was going on, and she came and she took. She let Bernice talk. And that was so kind for her to do so.

[Erica Alexander]

I love it. I love it. Well, you know, they do love each other, but we love each other.

[Kim Coles]

We do.

[Erica Alexander]

And we've had a long time to be together outside of living single, which is nice. We don't always get our quality time.

[Kim Coles]

We don't. We don't. And since the pandemic, I don't. I haven't had quality time with you.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, you kind of ghosted me.

[Kim Coles]

I was.

[Erica Alexander]

Did you ghost me?

[Kim Coles]

I was laid up under Dr. E.J. johnson, like we became. We did Pandemic. Well, not laid up on. I didn't mean like I pandemic with. With. With E.J. and so we were quarantined together.

[Erica Alexander]

I know why now. You laid up underneath somebody, especially a doctor. Who am I? Okay, but you know what? But we keep in touch, and the love is there. And we were very close on set. Right. And that wasn't always the case.

[Kim Coles]

No. Well, I always. Can I just tell the story. I love telling the story of how I was made of honor at your wedding and you were maid of honor at my wedding. And neither one of us are married to those men anymore.

[Erica Alexander]

But we. Oh, God. God. We're the witches of. We're the witches of Eastwick.

[Kim Coles]

But we were bad luck. Maybe so. Maybe so so. Yeah. But it wasn't always that way. We have. We've had our moments.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah, we've. We've had our moments. Listen, life with you ain't been no crystal stairs.

[Kim Coles]

What?

[Erica Alexander]

And the lighting seems to think it's true.

[Kim Coles]

The lighting has gone down.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes. It's dramatic, the lighting. Well, Kim, where Do you think we could have done better? And how have we had our disagreements?

[Kim Coles]

I think one of the things that we have in common that also may cause tension between us is I think we're both a little stubborn. I think that when you have an idea in your head, then that's the way it should be. And when I have an idea in my head, that's the way it should be. So there is a little bit of that. Although there is room to flow. And we sometimes. Usually it's me giving up. Cause you're. You've.

[Erica Alexander]

That's hilarious.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, it's usually me going, okay, Erica, whatever you say.

[Erica Alexander]

No. Okay, so now you're the victim.

[Kim Coles]

I didn't say I was the victim. I just said that often. You're so. You. You put your stake in the ground. I just. Okay, Erica, whatever.

[Erica Alexander]

You know you lie. You know you lie. You know you lie.

[Kim Coles]

I think more often than not, I'm.

[Erica Alexander]

The one who goes, historian. That's the truth.

[Kim Coles]

Okay, go ahead. You.

[Erica Alexander]

I give in so much to you.

[Kim Coles]

Really? Oh.

[Erica Alexander]

Because you a hard rock. She looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But I tell you, she put them Manson lamps on you. Next thing you know, you gotta give her what she wants because she just digs in. She very stubborn, like a child. You know what I'm saying? I want this, I want that. And the next thing you know, you gotta give it to her. She relents a bit, and then you see an opening, and then perhaps there's, like, you know, a calming down, and then she's ready to negotiate.

[Kim Coles]

Hmm. Okay, Erica, whatever you say. See, I did it just there. I did it just there. I think we both have done well. I don't think we could be friends as long as we have been if there wasn't a give and a take in that way.

[Erica Alexander]

There's definitely a give and a take. And I think we are both stubborn. I like to think that we also know Amber has pointed this out, that we know how to repair.

[Kim Coles]

Yes, we do. Well, we made this pact, you know. Okay, so let me start by saying this. I remember the day that I instantly, like, fell in love. I was like, I love this girl. She's so funny. She's so cool. It was on the set of Living Single, and I was like, I love her. She's great, because you're you. And so I immediately was like, I like her. I'm gonna be friends with her. And I always tease you about this first conversation. We made a pact early on, and you set the tone of the relationship. By cursing me out? Yeah, you did. You did. You didn't really curse me out, but you put a boundary up. That was helpful. So I had been gossiping about someone. I had been. You remember the story? I remember walking across the lot and I just was carrying on, and you stopped me. And it's important to note that. But I am, what, like, seven years young? Older than you. Eight years older. So here's someone who's 24 and I'm 31. Here's a young girl telling me, kim, here's the thing. I like you. I really do. And I think that we're gonna be working together a long time, and this is not going to be able to. We're not gonna be able to sustain this. I understand that you want to vent and you want to say what you have to say, but we're not gonna be able to sustain working together with you constantly coming at me with these stories. Please, you're gonna have to find another outlet. And I was like, oh, my goodness, Erica, I'm so sorry. Have I offended you? I'm so. I'm a grown woman. I'm so sorry, Erica. You're right. And I really should, you know, do the work on myself and you. You. But you laid down a boundary, and I didn't have any friends that had any boundaries. But you did. And I appreciate that.

[Erica Alexander]

Do you remember that?

[Kim Coles]

What's your version?

[Erica Alexander]

I used to remember that, but I also remember getting thrown out your trailer, Erica Lee, in that very dramatic way.

[Kim Coles]

Leave. Please leave now. Please leave now. Yeah, we had a.

[Erica Alexander]

And I was like, you're throwing me out? And you said, leave.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, Eric, I did.

[Erica Alexander]

I left your trailer.

[Kim Coles]

You did.

[Erica Alexander]

And I didn't know what to do because of course I should leave your trailer. You say, go, and I walked out of my. That trailer. Those three steps down with my head up out of that janky trailer.

[Kim Coles]

Janky trailer.

[Erica Alexander]

Walked to mine, and then called my then husband and cried and said, kim just threw me out of her trailer. Aw. What do you mean, Erica? It's all right. She didn't. No, I was embarrassed. Plus, I thought since you threw me out of your set home, that I would never be able to return. And I don't even think I ever did. I think I was so traumatized, I never went in there again. Did you notice?

[Kim Coles]

I didn't notice it. You never came. But we were fine after that.

[Erica Alexander]

I never was invited back. It was.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, come on. That's not true.

[Erica Alexander]

This was well into it. Yeah, that's why I said it ain't been no crystal stairs with you.

[Kim Coles]

Do you know that I called my mother that day? That same moment? I'm grown. Erica and I just had a fight. Oh, Kim. You and precious Erica. Because that's what she calls you. Precious Erica. You and precious Erica. You'll make up that everybody friendship has a little moment like this. But you all will be okay. I don't know. She makes me so mad. She makes me so mad. Didn't even ask what was said or done. So you came back to my trip. You came to my home. At least so I'm sure you've.

[Erica Alexander]

I did come to your home, but never to that trailer.

[Kim Coles]

Really?

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, it was. You know, that's the dark side. I don't want to go there. It's like going to Mordor.

[Kim Coles]

I'm sorry.

[Erica Alexander]

Frodo can never go to Mordor.

[Kim Coles]

I know.

[Erica Alexander]

That's where Gollum lives.

[Kim Coles]

Okay.

[Erica Alexander]

They get it.

[Kim Coles]

They get it.

[Erica Alexander]

You know, here's the beautiful part. I do think repair is important.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, we do.

[Erica Alexander]

And I do think we have our disagreements and sometime I think you ascribe things to me that I don't think are really there. I think they're of your own making and I'm sure I do that to you. But I'm just saying I think you do you see me in a way that can be. I don't think that's what's happening.

[Kim Coles]

That's possible. I'll see. I can share. Here's what I think it is. I think it's. Think we have a different way so you can be. You know, sometimes you'll say things and you don't sugar coat them. You're just like. It is what it is. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All the time I was trying to be kind. All the time you're very. All the time you're like. And it's like, oh, ouch.

[Erica Alexander]

Ah.

[Kim Coles]

Ah. And I have to realize that it's not coming out of meanness or the shrew that I think you are in that moment. It's not really that. It's really that. That's just your way. You really feel strongly if I would tell you. It's funny. Last night, it happened on a call that we did last night and I had to go, oh, oh, that. She didn't mean nothing by that. So I said, I'm gonna have to get off around 8:15. And what you and I. You said, okay, okay, you can leave whenever you want. And I was like, how dare you tell me I can Leave. I know I can leave whenever I want. I was like, oh, there's no need. You just would say, you can leave whatever you want.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. I mean, 8, 15. 8. Meaning you don't have to be here if you need it somewhere else.

[Kim Coles]

Right. But there was a. There's a tone that I sometimes have.

[Erica Alexander]

That I think sometimes you see things in what I say differently than how I mean.

[Kim Coles]

Oh, that's. I. Yes. But here's something else we have in common. We both like to be right.

[Erica Alexander]

That's true.

[Kim Coles]

That's a common.

[Erica Alexander]

The difference is I'm usually right.

[Kim Coles]

That remains to be seen. What about the pact?

[Erica Alexander]

You right the packed. The pact. What is the pact?

[Kim Coles]

The pact is to always return to love, no matter what. Remember the love.

[Erica Alexander]

Remember the love. Remember the love. It's hard, man. You know what?

[Kim Coles]

It's a moment. It's a moment.

[Erica Alexander]

It is. I never like you, but I always love you.

[Kim Coles]

Same here. This has been an interesting journey because we're reconnecting and I'm relearning you. I'm learning new things and new, like, you know, you've been off living your life over here, and it's like, oh, Erica's back again. Oh, that's different. But is it different or is it just more of growth, more of the same? More to love. More to love?

[Erica Alexander]

I think so. Just in a different context. And, you know, and same with you. Cause you've been off, you know, who knows what type of spells you've been casting. Hexes you've been throwing my way.

[Kim Coles]

A love spell. Your way. I. I never. It's always to do no harm.

[Erica Alexander]

Thank you, witchy poo. Listen, we need the light again.

[Kim Coles]

We need the light.

[Erica Alexander]

We can come into the light.

[Kim Coles]

The light is always here with us. You know that, don't you? The light is always available to you at any given time. Maybe now. True blue. True Blue is the segment where we hear from our beautiful friends. Erica and I will answer anything that you have. And Amber has the question. Amber, who do we have?

[Erica Alexander]

Hey. So we have Neona M. And she's from Orlando, Florida, and she says hi. Erica and Kim, first off, thank you both for creating a space to revisit living single with such heart, humor, and honesty. This show meant so much to me growing up. And now hearing your stories and reflections feels like a beautiful reunion with old friends. She asks, if Living Single had continued for a few more seasons, what storyline would you have wanted for your character? Something the writers never explored but you secretly hope for. Also, as a bonus who would you have cast as a love interest or major guest star if you had full creative control?

[Kim Coles]

I'm gonna cheat by saying that it was actually already written that a dream of Sinclair would be to have twins Sincloverton and Overclair. And so I would want to see that fully realized and actually a spin off with Sinclair, Overton and the twins. A boy and a girl. A boy and a girl. That would be very nice. And I don't know who those young actors would be, but that would have been wonderful.

[Erica Alexander]

Wow, I love that. And who would have been. Who do you want cast that you wish? You.

[Kim Coles]

I think Idris Elba would come on the show and try to steal me away from Overton. I know, but it's today. It's today.

[Erica Alexander]

You're right.

[Kim Coles]

All right. I can't think of anybody else, so.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, you're gonna laugh. But let me explain this real quick. I would want the storyline where Max goes to visit her parents and their dead there in the graveyard.

[Kim Coles]

Because that's what I've always wanted.

[Erica Alexander]

Well, I pitched Yvette that man. Or I didn't pitch it. She said, we're gonna bring your mother on. And I said, you can't, she's dead.

[Kim Coles]

In your mind. She was dead.

[Erica Alexander]

She was.

[Kim Coles]

But in the mind of Yvette Lee Bowser, who was your mother.

[Erica Alexander]

The CCH pound. That's who they cast. But she cites that. She always laughs at that. But I actually thought that was gonna be funny. Plus. Plus, I have. So when you're an actor, they encourage you to build backstories. And I'm an actor that'll build a backstory when there is none. And for many years I didn't have one. You guys all had your parents. And I actually thought, I don't want the drama of parents. They're dead, probably. And I would just love that. And so maybe she has a routine where she's never gone and suddenly she goes to visit them because she has unfinished business or something. So I thought it would be funny, but it wasn't like I was doing it. Cause I really didn't want to deal with the storyline. That's the truth. But I also thought it would be cool.

[Kim Coles]

It would be interesting to see why she is the way she is, that she, you know, maybe she lives full out because her parents are no longer here.

[Erica Alexander]

Right. And you can't wait till people invent things for you. You gotta live. Yeah. So that's that. So I think that would be great if Max's parents, you know, Shade to the great CCH Pounder. I'm glad that happened that way, but I thought they'd be dead. And the other thing is, I don't know who I'd want, but I don't think they'd necessarily be an actor. I would have liked a performer, and I would have loved Love for Michael Jackson to come on.

[Kim Coles]

I don't even care how.

[Erica Alexander]

I don't even care how. I'm sorry, Shamon. Did Michael come on? Did Michael come on Shimon?

[Kim Coles]

And he might. Cause didn't he do men in black 2? Like, he loved that movie so much that he asked if he could be a character on that movie?

[Erica Alexander]

I should have to look up in me. Wow.

[Kim Coles]

So he would come on the show. Of course he would have come.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. I would have been asking for people that I admired. You know, Mandela. I mean, come on. Can you imagine? Mandela came on living single. What could we. Could we make him a professor or something?

[Kim Coles]

What we have to understand.

[Erica Alexander]

Right. He could play my father.

[Kim Coles]

I'm sorry.

[Erica Alexander]

He could play Max's father.

[Kim Coles]

Okay, but you just said your father's dead.

[Erica Alexander]

If he's Mandela, he's alive.

[Kim Coles]

Okay. Okay. Gotcha.

[Erica Alexander]

Oh, God. Resurrected. I would love that.

[Kim Coles]

I should not have done the voice. Was that wrong?

[Erica Alexander]

No, that's how he talked about.

[Kim Coles]

That's how he talked.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. He had a tenor voice that was.

[Kim Coles]

Kind of choked on, and it was in his throat.

[Erica Alexander]

Right?

[Kim Coles]

Yeah.

[Erica Alexander]

We must take these things that we've learned, and we must go forward. I know what I'm doing. I want to be connected to Mandela.

[Kim Coles]

Okay.

[Erica Alexander]

And we are.

[Kim Coles]

And we are.

[Erica Alexander]

Because we all come from the motherland.

[Kim Coles]

Indeed.

[Erica Alexander]

Okay. Did we answer your question? Probably not. But listen, thanks for sending it in. And if you have a question, we.

[Kim Coles]

May get as silly on your answer as we did with this one, too. Yes.

[Erica Alexander]

Send your questions and comments to reliving single podcastartbeat.com.

[Kim Coles]

Listen, you stayed here this whole time. Tell your friends to watch the show and watch the whole episode all the way through. You never know what's gonna happen.

[Erica Alexander]

Yes. You never know what's gonna happen. Watch all the way through. Put it on in the background and enjoy yourself. Yeah. Cause it matters, actually. And tell a friend. Subscribe like all of those good things. Yeah.

[Kim Coles]

I'm glad I'm friends with you, Erica.

[Erica Alexander]

I'm glad I'm friends with you, too. What's the moral of this story?

[Kim Coles]

The moral of this story is friendship can endure if you choose it powerfully and make the pact to do so.

[Erica Alexander]

Yeah. Friends matter.

[Kim Coles]

Friends matter.

[Erica Alexander]

I gotta hug you.

[Kim Coles]

Notice how we both hugged out so we could get off camera.

[Erica Alexander]

Reliving Single is hosted by me, Erica Alexander and me, Kim Coles. Reliving Single is a production of Heartbeat in association with Color Farm Media, Executive.

[Kim Coles]

Produced by Kevin Hart, Jeff Clanagan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander and Ben Arnon.

[Erica Alexander]

The show is produced by Kim Coles.

[Kim Coles]

Amber Watson is our senior producer.

[Erica Alexander]

Our associate producer is Kenny Jackson.

[Kim Coles]

Our other associate producer is Electra Telesford.

[Erica Alexander]

Our sound engineers are Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson.

[Kim Coles]

Production supervision by Razak Boykin and Brett Calkins.

[Erica Alexander]

Additional production support from Alex Atkins and Z. Taylor.

[Kim Coles]

Special thanks to BK Augustine and Dr. EJ it's okay not to be perfect with finances Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled no Ding Decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit score. Scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores. If you aren't initially approved, initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores.

[Erica Alexander]

Experian.

[Kim Coles]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's Cybersecurity Awareness Month and Lifelock has tips to protect your identity. Use strong passwords, set up multi factor authentication, report phishing and update the software on your devices and for comprehensive identity protection, let LifeLock alert you to suspicious uses of your personal information. Lifelock also fixes identity theft, guaranteed or your money back. Stay smart, safe and protected with a 30 day free [e-mail] Podcasts Terms apply.