From Valley of Shadows: The Devil's Punchbowl

Summary

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Revisionist History – "From Valley of Shadows: The Devil's Punchbowl"

Date: February 26, 2026
Host: Malcolm Gladwell & Team (Pushkin Industries)
Episode Focus: Preview of the investigative podcast series “Valley of Shadows” – a deep dive into the 1998 disappearance of LA Sheriff’s Deputy John Auge in California’s high desert, and the ensuing mystery, conspiracy theories, and questions about corruption within law enforcement.

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Episode Overview

In this special preview, Revisionist History features the premiere episode of “Valley of Shadows,” hosted by journalists Haley Fox and Betsy Shepard. The series revisits the mysterious 1998 disappearance of Deputy John Auge near Devil’s Punchbowl Park, a case marked by rumors of suicide, foul play, and alleged cover-ups by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department (LASD). Through interviews with Auge’s former colleagues, friends, family, and area locals, the episode explores the facts and theories surrounding the case, while also probing broader issues of law enforcement accountability and the culture of silence within police institutions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to John Auge and His Disappearance

• [03:00-07:00]
  • Malcolm Gladwell introduces the Valley of Shadows project.
  • John Auge: LA County Sheriff’s Deputy, ultramarathon runner, survivalist, Army Special Forces vet. Known for challenging himself with runs into the high desert wilderness.
  • June 11, 1998: auge goes for a run from Devil’s Punch Bowl. Last seen alive before running into remote terrain and never returns.

“He was an army paratrooper and a survivalist... the only obstacle course that still challenged him was the wilderness.” – Betsy Shepard (07:00)

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2. The Search and the Landscape

• [07:28-19:00]
  • Initial discovery: auge’s truck found parked, he is missing.
  • Massive search operation including colleagues and search-and-rescue teams. Area is rugged, marked by canyons, forests, the Mojave Desert, and treacherous terrain.
  • Jack Farley, a longtime park ranger, provides detailed local knowledge.
  • Montage of witnesses recalling seeing auge setting out for a run toward Mount Baden Powell.

“We took our teams out and deployed in two man teams over the edges of the trails, into the little nooks and crannies and the gullies that he could have slipped and fallen into.” – Mike Bauer (09:28)

“It's these really cool rock formations... Are you looking at these huge rocks jutting out of the ground and, like, they're making all those crazy shadows?” – Betsy Shepard & Haley Fox (16:29–16:39)

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3. Personal Side of John Auge

• [09:58-11:15]
  • Friends and colleagues recall Auge’s home life, military discipline, and his dedication as a father and husband.
  • Items left behind—work jacket, running shoes, personal photos—add to the sense of unresolved loss.

“His death certificate says cause of death unknown. Manner of death unknown. No body.” – Mike Bauer (11:15)

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4. Search Theories and Early Frustrations

• [22:40-31:59]
  • Initial search enlarged by the knowledge of aesture’s fitness—ultramarathon abilities potentially expand the grid.
  • Searchers consider multiple possibilities: accidental injury, animal attack, running too far and succumbing to dehydration, or foul play.
  • Scent-tracking dogs pick up a trail; reports of a gunshot heard on the day of disappearance; no concrete evidence found.

“Your brain does some wonky stuff when you’re dehydrated. And they thought maybe he got on a trail and just kept running.” – Vince Burton (27:26)

“They recommended we take weapons... maybe John may have stumbled into a meth lab by accident.” – Dave Rathbun (30:45)

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5. Rumors, Theories, and Law Enforcement Response

• [35:05-38:16]
  • Auge’s enigmatic personality and his remarks about disappearing fuel conspiracy theories: suicide, willingly vanishing, recruitment for covert work, or murder.
  • Search called off after only six days—unusually short for law enforcement’s own missing agent.

“Day six, they said, well, shut it down. What do you mean, shut it down? Who said that? Who gave that order?” – Dave Rathbun (36:34)

“So it’s six days. You cancel a search for somebody who can run 50 or 100 miles in the wilderness… Why are you shutting it down?” – Dave Rathbun (38:00)

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6. The Suicide Theory and Skepticism

• [40:53-44:55]
  • Internal LASD narrative: Auge was distraught over a failing marriage, may have taken his own life.
  • No body, blood, bullet, or suicide note found; only an energy bar wrapper as a possible clue.
  • Colleagues conflicted: some suspect suicide, others firmly reject it as implausible.

“Would you be telling me about your ultramarathon if you were just going to end it all?” – Vince Burton (41:48)

“They said, well, we think he might have sat on the edge of one of those mines and blown himself into the mine. Okay, we are really stretching now for an explanation as to why we can’t find him.” – Dave Rathbun (43:57)

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7. Emerging Suspicions and Code of Silence

• [44:15-47:58]
  • Mike Bauer (Auge’s former captain) accuses the LASD of pushing the suicide theory early on to stifle a deeper probe.
  • Allegations of a department cover-up, a culture of silence (“code of silence”), and stonewalling of internal and public inquiries.

“The philosophy of the Sheriff's department is to hide it. … They just basically stonewall you. They give you the middle finger.” – Mike Bauer (48:43)

“That case can't be touched. If I start poking around that case, they'd let me go. … That’s interesting. Why? It's a suicide. I don’t know. I just know that case can’t be touched.” – Dave Rathbun (47:29)

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8. Law Enforcement Accountability – The Broader Issue

• [48:15-50:54]
  • The lack of transparency, closed case files, and poor response to public records requests underscore systemic issues in police accountability.
  • Bauer, in retirement, has persistently investigated the Auge disappearance, uncovering department lies and possible corruption.

"They lied to me. They lied to me as a f---ing captain of the f---ing sheriff's department... with 33 years on the job. ...they’re f---ing lying to me about what they’re doing at homicide to shut this thing up." – Mike Bauer (49:37)

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9. Risks of Investigating – Warnings to Journalists

• [50:30-50:54]
  • Bauer warns Fox and Shepard of the risks they face as they investigate:

    "I wouldn't do it alone. In the event somebody did decide that you were getting too close to something, you will not be found killed. You will simply disappear." – Mike Bauer (50:36)

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10. Teasers for Future Episodes

• [50:57–52:28]
  • Previews from upcoming episodes suggest deeper dives into alternative theories: murder, corruption, evidence cover-ups, rumors of targeted killing by law enforcement itself.

“Early on, I let the suicide theory sit at 50/50. As I’ve learned more and more, I’m at about 90-95% murder, 5-10% suicide.” – Dave Rathbun (50:57)

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Notable Moments & Quotes

• On the culture of silence:

  “There's a code of silence in law enforcement. You break that code of silence, you're done.” – Dave Rathbun (13:07)

• On living in the area:

  “I get anxiety coming to places like this because it reminds me of, like, the town that I grew up in. … I feel the oppressive weight of boredom.” – Betsy Shepard (15:17)

• On the area’s danger:

  “If all the dead bodies that were up there from being deliberately disposed of stood up at once, they’d be shoulder to shoulder.” – Dave Rathbun (32:20)

• On investigating law enforcement:

  “It’s not safe. Not because of criminals. It’s not safe because of law enforcement. And there’s nothing worse than that.” – Mike Bauer (51:54)

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Critical Timestamps for Main Segments

• 03:00: Malcolm Gladwell’s intro and the premise of Valley of Shadows
• 05:05: Introduction of Mike Bauer and initial recounting of June 1998
• 07:10-09:55: Auge’s life, character, and routine on the day he vanished
• 16:00-16:55: Dazzling description of Devil’s Punchbowl setting
• 22:40–31:59: Search logistics, local hazards, dangers, and criminal activity in the AV
• 35:05–38:16: Theories, department actions, premature shutdown of search
• 40:53–44:55: Suicide theory, skepticism, internal strife
• 47:00–49:59: Code of silence, cover-up, lack of transparency
• 50:36: Bauer's warning to the reporters
• 50:57–52:28: Season preview – further theories and the investigation’s stakes

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Summary & Takeaways

"From Valley of Shadows: The Devil's Punchbowl" offers an enthralling look into a 30-year-old unsolved case that’s as much about institutional secrecy as it is about a missing deputy. The first episode builds a story layered with grief, suspicion, and the challenges of confronting law enforcement’s own. Using interviews, personal reflections, and on-the-ground reporting, the podcast immerses listeners in both the mysterious landscape and the darkness behind the badge.

For listeners: The case of John Auge is far from resolved, and this episode sets the stage for a season exploring not just what happened, but how stories get hidden, twisted, and protected in the highest ranks of American law enforcement.

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For more:
Find the full “Valley of Shadows” series wherever you get your podcasts.
Tips related to the case: 213-262-9889 / [e-mail]

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Transcript

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[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

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[Mike Bauer]

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[Dave Rathbun]

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Check out Odoo at O D O o dot com. That's O D O o dot com. Bushkin. Malcolm here. I want to tell you about a man named John Auge. He was a Los Angeles county sheriff's deputy, an ultramarathon runner, a survivalist, and someone who had made a study of how to stay alive in punishing terrain. And one day he went for a run in a place called the Devil's Punch bowl in the high desert of Los Angeles. And he never came back. Some say Auger is just another missing hiker claimed by the inhospitable landscape of the Southern California desert. Some say he took his own life out there. But there's another theory that many of Auge's friends and colleagues are convinced is true. That he was the victim of foul play and his own department is covering it up. Hosted by journalists Haley Fox and Betsy, Valley of Shadows explores Ajay's unsolved disappearance and the stench of corruption that's followed the case for nearly 30 years. Through exclusive interviews revealing wiretaps and buried police files, Hayley and Betsy enter into the criminal underworld of outlaw biker gangs, meth production and crooked cops in Southern California's Mojave Desert, exploring one of the state's most mysterious missing persons cases. You're about to hear a preview from the show. If you enjoy it, you can find Valley of Shadows wherever you get your podcasts.

[Haley Fox]

This series includes content that may not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised.

[Mike Bauer]

Is this okay?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Yeah, I'll turn it down just a little bit. Cause sometimes you get animated.

[Mike Bauer]

I get pissed off. Pissed off old cop.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

This pissed off old cop is Mike Bauer.

[Mike Bauer]

Okay. My name is Mike Bauer, retired captain, L.A. sheriff. I retired in 2002. My last assignment was major crimes bureau, detective division, L. A.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Sheriff Bauer spent 33 years climbing the ranks of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, and he looks the part of a retired captain. His his white hair and mustache are neatly groomed and his eyes are permanently fixed in a look that says do not fuck up on my watch. And he's pissed off because of something that happened to one of his guys on his squad back in the summer of 1998. June 11 started off like a normal day in Los Angeles. June gloom and bad traffic.

[Mike Bauer]

I got up early out of Long beach and headed up the 6:05 and into East LA our office in East LA.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Bauer was doing paperwork when a call came into the front desk. The receptionist answered, then she hung up.

[Mike Bauer]

And she comes down to get a cup of coffee across the hall. And I said, hey, who was that? It was John Augie.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

John auge was a 38 year old canine cop and he was calling to inquire about an upcoming job assignment.

[Mike Bauer]

I said, well, I've been trying to get a hold of him. And she says, oh well, maybe he'll call back. He never called back.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

John Auge was working for the unit Bauer headed up at the time. The Special Enforcement Bureau, or SEB for

[Mike Bauer]

short, which consists of seven or eight SWAT teams. And the SWAT teams were involved in tactical responses to high risk situations.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

In the field, SEB handled things like active shooter situations, hostage negotiations, search and rescue. It was a job that attracted adrenaline junkies like Ajay. He was an army paratrooper and a survivalist and those military skills along with his buzz cut and square build made him a shoo in for the Sheriff's department.

[Mike Bauer]

He was in the army and Special Forces. He was working at the elite unit of the department. I have to call him a loner, but he was an elite loner because the guy was doing 50 mile runs. He was an animal.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Audrey got his kicks by going on long runs through California's backcountry. He'd go out deep into the wilderness to conquer the only obstacle course that still challenged him. And that's how Ajay was spending his day off. On June 11, 1998 he woke up, put on his running gear and drove to one of his favorite parks, the Devil's Punch Bowl. It's a rugged canyon where the Angeles National Forest, the San Gabriel Mountains and the Mojave Desert all converge. Ajay entered the park just before noon, used a payphone to call into the sheriff's department and. And then he took off running. He never listened to any music, just the sounds of nature as he jogged along a maze of switchbacks and up a nearly 10,000 foot mountain. By early evening he looped back towards the parking lot. But as the sun began to set, the shadows of trees and rocks grew until night engulfed the park.

[Mike Bauer]

That evening I got a phone call saying that Deppy O.J. is missing, that he didn't come back to his vehicle and that they were going to start some more extensive searching for him.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

It's an all out manhunt for John Ajay. Every search and Rescue team in LA county has been called in to help. The 38 year old went hiking Thursday

[Advertiser/Announcer]

in a rugged section of the Angeles

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

National Forest known as Devil Punchbowls Park.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

It's a beautiful but dangerous area, an

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

area where it may be extremely difficult to find. RJ It's a pretty unique situation. The sheriff's department is called in to look for a missing hiker who's one of their own. So the search and rescue team sent out to look for Ajay consists of his friends and colleagues.

[Mike Bauer]

We took our teams out and deployed in two man teams over the edges of the trails, into the little nooks and crannies and the gullies that he could have slipped and fallen into.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

But searchers find no trace of Ajay. It was as if he just vanished into thin air. And now, nearly 30 years later, the deputy is still missing.

[Mike Bauer]

I guess I'll open a box.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

All that remains from Ajay's life is packed into five cardboard boxes. The items are wrapped in plastic, and Bauer wears gloves as he combs through them.

[Mike Bauer]

This is John's work jacket. And it's an seb jacket with his name embroidered on it. And Bosco, his dog.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Bauer's preserving Ajay's belongings for future developments in the case.

[Mike Bauer]

Okay, so here's his running shoes with his name on the back. Those should have some DNA in them.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

The artifacts also tell us who Ajay was. There's a photo collage full of happy memories. Him and his high school sweetheart Deb on their wedding day. A birthday party for their daughter Chloe, who was just five when he disappeared. And puppy pics of Bosco, Ajay's department issued canine. And next to these snapshots of domestic life, there's a steel ballistics helmet intended to stop rifle rounds. Trophies for marksmanship, army fatigues. You know, tough guy stuff. Awje moved at a fast clip, trying to balance the competing demands of home and work. But his life came to an abrupt and puzzling end.

[Mike Bauer]

His death certificate says cause a death unknown. Manner of death unknown. No body.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

The deputy's body has never been found. Which raises a lot of questions for Mike Bauer and a survivalist getting lost in the woods. Another big question mark. Over time, the mystery of it all has turned into something else. Deep and unsettling suspicion about the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, the only law

[Mike Bauer]

enforcement agency in this country that I know of, and I've looked around, who has a missing deputy sheriff and doesn't seem to care what the hell happened? What's the answer? Who's motivated to find the answer?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And that's my cue. When Mike Bauer first told me about Ajay. I thought an unsolved disappearance involving a cop, that's unusual. But when he started talking about the sheriff's department, his department, that's when I locked in. Because you'd expect the LA County Sheriff's Department to turn over every stone to find their guy. So the claim that the LESD may have an interest in not solving. Solving the case, now that's a story. So I called up my friend Haley Fox. Like me, she's an investigative journalist and she knows a lot about the Sheriff's department because she's reported on it for many years.

[Haley Fox]

Hey, Betsy, how you doing?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I'm good.

[Haley Fox]

I'm ready.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Yeah. You wanna do this?

[Haley Fox]

It's about time.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

A little road trip adventure.

[Haley Fox]

All right, let's do it.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

We've teamed up on stories before and decided to get the band back together to find answers about this missing deputy and to take on the largest sheriff's department in the country.

[Dave Rathbun]

There's a code of silence in law enforcement. You break that code of silence, you're done. Hey, if they'll fucking kill a cop and bury him, what are they gonna do to me?

[Mike Bauer]

It's an obstruction of justice of a

[Dave Rathbun]

very large scale scale.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I'm Betsy Shepard.

[Haley Fox]

I'm Haley Fox. And this is Valley of Shadows, a show about crime and corruption in California's high desert. Episode one, the devil's punch bowl. Betsy and I are making the trek from downtown Los Angeles to the Antelope Valley. That's the desert area north of LA where Deputy Ajay disappeared. The drive's about 60 miles, but it takes an hour and a half to two hours because of the mountainous terrain.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

So you actually have to take. We gotta go north.

[Haley Fox]

Yeah, we're gonna go north, but this is LA, dude. We gotta go south. 110, South 5, North 14. And then I think there's a 138th road in there, but nothing's a straight shot.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Spoken like a true Angeleno.

[Haley Fox]

I was born and raised in LA County. Go Dodgers. But this part of it feels worlds away. The Antelope Valley, or the AV as it's sometimes called, is a 3,000 square mile stretch of the Mojave. But this part of the high desert doesn't have the same allure and vibey ness as places like Joshua Tree. Instead, the AV is mostly empty space dotted with defense plants, bedroom communities and tumbleweed towns.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

So a lot of just like trailers kind of just parked out in the desert.

[Haley Fox]

Yeah, I mean, power lines and scrub brush. Our story takes place in and around Pear Blossom, California. It has a population of 1500, and it's where the Devil's Punch Bowl's located. Driving through it, Betsy gets a case of deja vu.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I get anxiety coming to places like this because it reminds me of, like, the town that I grew up in. There's just. I just, like, I feel the oppressive weight of boredom.

[Haley Fox]

Oh, really?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I moved to LA several years ago from South Louisiana. I'd never been to Antelope Valley before, but it was immediately familiar to me because if you were to replace desert with swamp, this region would look a lot like the small town I'm from. It's rural and kind of run down. There's more landscape than real estate. Lots of pickup trucks, and town life seems like a thing of the past. We got an abandoned motel.

[Jack Farley]

What's this?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Oh, like an abandoned old restaurant and rec hall. And people getting gas to presumably be on their way.

[Haley Fox]

Yeah, I mean, I think the three gas stations in a row tell the story,

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

but the closer we get to the Devil's Punch bowl, where Ajay was last spotted, an otherworldly landscape appears, full of spiky Joshua trees and sandstone columns.

[Haley Fox]

It's actually really beautiful out here.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I did not expect it to look like this.

[Haley Fox]

Are you looking at these huge rocks jutting out of the ground and, like, they're making all those crazy shadows?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I've never seen anything like that.

[Haley Fox]

I haven't either.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I feel like I'm in an old western movie, you know, like, where it's got this, like, wide, epic landscape shots.

[Haley Fox]

Oh, total endless horizons.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Totally endless horizons. I can see why John Ajay likes to come out here.

[Haley Fox]

Yeah, it's pretty. Pretty epic. Okay, we are pulling into the Devil's Punchbowl county park parking lot.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Here we foreign.

[Haley Fox]

We've come here to retrace John Ajay's last known steps and to meet with Ranger Jack Farley. He was working at the Punch bowl the day the deputy disappeared. Hi.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Are you Jack Farley by chance?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

I am.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I'm Betsy. This is my reporting partner, Haley.

[Jack Farley]

Nice to meet you, Haley.

[Haley Fox]

Thank you for meeting us out here. Jack Farley's retired Now, but for 35 years, he was assigned to work the Punch Bowl. What a cool job.

[Jack Farley]

Great for me. Yeah, it was awesome. Good job.

[Haley Fox]

It was Farley's job to keep an eye on things, to tend the grounds and patrol the area. So he noticed when Ajay became a regular at the Punchbowl and he clocked Ajay's regular parking space, the one closest to the trailhead.

[Jack Farley]

So I Can remember seeing him sitting in the back of his truck when he'd get done with a run in the mountains. So when I'd walk out into the parking lot, I'd see him sitting out there and ask him about his run.

[Haley Fox]

Farley remembers that the day Ajay disappeared, his white Ford F150 truck was parked in that very same spot. Surrounded on all sides by wilderness.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

One thing that impresses us so much about this area is that you have a desert landscape on one side. You have mountains and forests on the other, and then in between, it's these really cool rock formations.

[Dave Rathbun]

Right.

[Jack Farley]

It's all uplifted from earthquake activity.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Oh, wow.

[Jack Farley]

That's Punchbowl fault, and that runs parallel with the mountains. And then when you came up the hill, you crossed the San Andreas fault, which is, of course, the big one that runs through California. Several faults in the area. It took all this sand that was laid down flat by streams and tilted it up into vertical relief, and it

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

creates a bowl shape.

[Jack Farley]

You can see a definite bowl shape coming around like this. So that's where it got the Punch bowl name.

[Haley Fox]

We're not totally sure about the devil part of it, though. According to local lore, early homesteaders saw a grinning devil in the rock formations. We didn't see Satan in the rock face, but we did see something else, thanks to a county park employee named Dave Neumer.

[Jack Farley]

See this right where the shadow ends,

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

there's that big rock kind of all by itself. If you look, it's like a forehead

[Mike Bauer]

is facing us, and there's a nose pointing straight.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Kind of looks like George Washington. Yeah, it's a natural Mount Rushmore.

[Jack Farley]

Cool.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

So there's all kinds of faces out here because it's like, oh.

[Dave Rathbun]

Our brains are programmed to see patterns.

[Haley Fox]

Pattern recognition is why we see gods and goddesses in the stars and the man and the moon. It's also a key part of criminal investigations, a way to turn information into a story. And that's why we've come to the Devil's Punch bowl to see if we can make sense of what happened on June 11, 1998. So we pull out a map we printed from the Internet because we're prepared journalists and elder millennials. And we present it to Ranger Farley.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Let me show you what it looks like.

[Jack Farley]

Yeah, mine will definitely be better.

[Haley Fox]

This will definitely get us lost in the wilderness, but it was a good thought. Farley proves his outdoor prowess by whipping out some real maps of the area to help orient us to our surroundings.

[Jack Farley]

Okay, here's the devil's Punch.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Okay. And

[Jack Farley]

there's Burkhardt Trail right there. Goes over toward Devil's Chair. So that'd be just to the east. Goes to South Fork.

[Haley Fox]

One witness reported seeing Ajay near the picnic tables at the main trailhead sometime before noon. This witness was a local teacher there on a field trip with a bunch of elementary school kids. Audrey stopped to talk to him. He pointed to a jagged mountain in the distance, Mount Baden Powell, and said that's where he was headed.

[Jack Farley]

So the high mountain behind the telephone pole over there? Yeah, that's Baden Powell. And that's where he would go sometimes to the top of that.

[Haley Fox]

How tall is that mountain?

[Dave Rathbun]

Jeez.

[Jack Farley]

That is one of the higher ones. Let me think. 10,000. I mean, in this range.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And he would run from here to that mountain, all the way over there and then run up it?

[Jack Farley]

Yeah, he'd run over there, and then there's switchbacks all the way to the top of that mountain.

[Haley Fox]

Ajay was spotted again later in the day when multiple witnesses say they saw him jogging through a campground just north of the mountain in the direction of the Punch bowl parking lot. But when Farley left his post at 5pm Ajay's truck was still parked in the lot, and it stayed parked there as the evening bloomed over the desert. And then, close to midnight, Audrey's wife called the sheriff's station to report him missing.

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[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

As June 11, 1998, nears its end, Debbie Auge becomes increasingly panicked because her husband, Deputy John Ajay, told her he'd be home around dark. And by now he's several hours late. So she dials up one of the sheriff's stations where Ajay worked.

[Vince Burton]

The call comes into the desk and it's from Debbie and it says, hey, my husband who's a deputy, he went for a run and he didn't come home.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Vince Burton was a sergeant in the Antelope Valley. He was also Ajay's colleague and friend. So he gets on the phone with Debbie.

[Vince Burton]

She was just upset. She was crying. She was obviously very concerned. I just, I said, okay, Debbie, we're sending people up there, you know, keep you posted.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Patrol deputies hightail it to the punch bowl where they find Ajay's truck. But no Ajay. They think maybe he got injured, slipped and fell, or had a run in with some wildlife. So Burton dispatches search and rescue to the site and he calls in their coordinator, Dave Sauer, to discuss Ajay's likely route.

[Vince Burton]

And Dave comes in and we pull up a map of the area. And I, I told him at that time, I said, you know, John's a runner. And he goes, yeah. And I said, no, he's a long distance runner. He's an ultra marathoner. And he's like, what?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Ultramarathoners are running extremists who power through long distances. In fact, Ajay was scheduled to compete in a 100 mile run the week after he went missing. So responders have a hard time wrapping their heads around the scale of the search.

[Vince Burton]

I gave them the best information I could give them. You know, don't start your grid pattern so small.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

This is Randy Meggerdly. He was a patrol deputy for the sheriff's department and one of Ajay's running buddies. He reiterates to the command post that Ajay was a beast.

[Vince Burton]

You're running goat trails is basically what I categorize them as.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

What do you mean by that, goat trails?

[Vince Burton]

Well, they're just makeshift trails. Sometimes they'll be covered with snow. Sometimes they'll be covered with mud. Crossing rivers. I mean, it's crazy what kind of stuff that we were doing. There was one that we did. It was hand over foot trying to get up this mountain.

[Haley Fox]

Wow.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And so part of the activity was figuring out how to get to the end of it.

[Vince Burton]

Yeah, in one piece.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Hearing meggerdly talk about ultramarathoners, it sounds like they have no off switch. So maybe Ajay just overdid it.

[Vince Burton]

Your brain does some wonky stuff when you're dehydrated. And they thought maybe he got on a trail and he was doing the forest gump just kept running.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

That's a theory that Ajay was doing the forest Gump and just kept running and got himself into a tailspin of dehydration. Responders take note and fan out across the search grid.

[Jack Farley]

I was nice to him. I said, you know, I know the area pretty well if you guys want help.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Ranger Jack Farley again, the guy goes,

[Jack Farley]

no, we're search and rescue. We pretty much know what we're doing, you know? So I go, okay, okay.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

But it doesn't take long for the pros to realize they're in over their heads.

[Jack Farley]

So then they're going, hey, are you the guy that knows the area? You know, maybe you could give us a little help.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

So Farley leads a few groups of deputies and bloodhounds down the local trails.

[Jack Farley]

At one time, thought they caught a scent, and it went up on the trail going toward the Burkhardt Trail. And we had talked about someone saying they heard a gunshot. You can't see the house from here, but it's like a half mile below the trail up there where the people lived that said they heard that.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

The dogs pick up a scent. Possibly Ajay's on a trail that's near a local resident. That guy reported to searchers that he heard a single gunshot. And at sunset the day Ajay vanished. It's a detail the sheriff's department registers as a potential clue.

[Jack Farley]

So I took a group of deputies over there, and we went down really rugged, wooded canyon.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

They didn't find anything, but searchers do spot some footprints on the mountain where Ajay told people he was going. So Ajay's captain, Mike Bauer, takes to the skies to see where they lead.

[Mike Bauer]

And that was the first time I ever stepped out of a huge helicopter on the side of a mountain with one skid touching. And then that helicopter flew off while we examined the openings of Bighorn Mine to see whether or not it had been broken into.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Bighorn is a mine on top of the mountain left over from the gold rush days. Its entrance has been welded shut to keep out hikers. And when the helicopter lands 90s action movie style, Bauer's crew finds no signs of a break in Ajay's reported missing late Thursday night. By the end of the day Sunday, the sheriff's department kicks things into high gear. They call in the US army and Air Force along with the LASD heavy hitters. It's a specialized squad called Emergency Services Detail or esd.

[Dave Rathbun]

They do search and rescue, underwater search and recovery, and they support the special weapons team with medical skills.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Dave Rathbun was one of the ESD members sent out to search for Ajay.

[Dave Rathbun]

And the adrenaline that you get from ESD is different from any other adrenaline.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

ESD deputies are equipped to handle all the all types of emergency scenarios. But it wasn't just the rocky ledges and wild animals they had to worry about here. The area was full of all kinds of criminal activity.

[Dave Rathbun]

One of the things they told our search teams on day one was John may have stumbled into a meth lab by accident. So that was told to us when we were out searching. And the reason they told us is they recommended we take weapons.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Rathman and his team of searchers come to the punch bowl armed and ready for action. Because maybe Ajay isn't lost or injured or running for the hills. Maybe he's the victim of foul play. The command post doesn't expand on why they thought Ajay may have been taken out by meth related violence. But to Rathbun, this theory doesn't sound too far fetched. Because the Antelope Valley is isolated, outlawish, and on account of its size, difficult to police.

[Dave Rathbun]

There are a lot of people who just don't want to be around other human beings out there, which makes them sometimes dangerous. There's people cooking meth. It was a little bit like the Old west in a way. I mean, this is a very unusual, strange place.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And remember that abandoned mine searcher scoped out? Well, it turns out they're everywhere and they're a prime location for body dumping.

[Dave Rathbun]

One of the things ESD did was recover dead bodies from mines.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And it wasn't just the mines. Corpses turn up all over these parts.

[Dave Rathbun]

You know, if all the dead Bodies that were up there from being deliberately disposed of stood up at once. They'd be shoulder to shoulder.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

It's a chilling image of the area's darker side. Ajay would jog from the Devil's Punch bowl into the Angeles National Forest, which has been called the most dangerous national forest in America. Around the time of Ajay's disappearance, it's estimated that two to three dozen corpses turned up in the forest every year. And those were just the ones that were found. So Rathbun understands the danger he faces but pushes on in search of footprints.

[Dave Rathbun]

You have to look at the ground and look at bushes that have been pushed. And we walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked. And we generally don't give up until it's just ridiculous.

[Haley Fox]

The search is taxing for Rathbun physically and emotionally because he and Ajay were friends. And back in the early 90s, they were even partners.

[Dave Rathbun]

If it was me that needed cover, he'd be there. I don't even think about it. Someone you could definitely depend on.

[Haley Fox]

Rathbun and Ajay spent a lot of time driving around together, but they didn't sit around riffing like partners in a buddy cop movie.

[Dave Rathbun]

He was laconic, didn't have a lot to say unless you worked on him. And he was always kind of severe, serious.

[Haley Fox]

Ajay was hardly two dimensional, though. He used his deadpan personality to mess with people.

[Dave Rathbun]

He had this secret sense of humor, but it was really hard to tell which card he was playing, the funny card or the I'm John and I'm dead serious card.

[Haley Fox]

One time, Rathbun and Ajay had to chase down a suspect. Rathbun was driving and he ends up reversing down a one way street. They got the guy, but Ajay looked

[Dave Rathbun]

pissed and he added that. Dave, I need to talk to you.

[Haley Fox]

Rathbun's gotten pretty good at impersonating John Ajay's baritone voice. He says he sounded a lot like Lurch from the Addams Family.

[Dave Rathbun]

What you just did was a violation of California state law. And if you do something like that again, I'll have to write you up.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

John.

[Dave Rathbun]

We were chasing a suspect and we are law enforcement officers and so we get exemptions during those things. That may be true, but it was illegal. Is this John being funny? You would not know and he will never let you know.

[Haley Fox]

Ajay was hard to read. In fact, there's even confusion over the pronunciation of his last name. His family says OJ but to his

[Dave Rathbun]

friends it was Ajay, and he never corrected us. And he's not very bashful.

[Haley Fox]

We'll never know why he didn't tell people how to pronounce his name. But it seems fitting for someone who remains a mystery to so many. Ajay was an enigma to just about everyone around him. So when he disappeared, he became an easy target for conspiracy theories. Stories began to circulate that Ajay's alive and well, living in Alaska. Others say Mexico. Some say he was recruited by a mercenary group or joined the CIA. These theories were fueled by weird comments Ajay had made to friends like Dave Rathbun.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Dave?

[Dave Rathbun]

Yes. You guys think you can find people with your searches and you think you're pretty good at it, right? I could go in the mountains and you'd never find me. And I said, there are people who want to be found that we can't find. So I'm not real impressed with your declaration there. If you don't want to be found, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to find you. So I agree.

[Haley Fox]

And of course, that conversation takes on extra meaning as searchers keep coming up empty handed.

[Dave Rathbun]

I participated in that search until my feet were bloody, as did several of my peers. But day six, they said, well, shut it down. What do you mean, shut it down? Who said that? Who gave that order? Who shut this thing down? What are you talking about?

[Haley Fox]

Day six, the sheriff's department folds the search after six days and gives a statement to the press. Sergeant Sauer, one of the deputies overseeing the operation, says, quote, a good analogy would be someone coming up to you and giving you two to three pieces of a 500 piece puzzle and asking you to guess what the picture is. Throw into that a few pieces of an entirely different puzzle, and that is what we work with. We might never get it right, end quote.

[Dave Rathbun]

You want to trust the department, that they're doing the right thing, but no one asked us if we should shut it down. If I'm the search and rescue guy and my partners are search and rescue guys, and the helicopter pilots have been on hundreds of searches, why are we asking them what they think and their input?

[Haley Fox]

Rathbun says searches for missing hikers typically last seven to 14 days, depending on the viability of the person. Ajay was not your typical hiker. And given his personal and professional connection to the sheriff's department, it seems like the LASD would go the extra mile to find him.

[Dave Rathbun]

So it's six days. You cancel a search for somebody who can run 50 or 100 miles in the wilderness really knows the wilderness is good or better than anybody in esd. They shut it down. Why are you shutting it down?

[Haley Fox]

The sheriff's department tells the public that Ajay disappeared without a trace and that they're ending the search because they're just spinning their wheels. But behind the scenes, they're telling a very different story.

[Dave Rathbun]

Well, they say that they decided he committed suicide.

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[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Internal LASD reports claim that Ajay was distraught over his failing marriage and took his own life in the punch bowl that gunshot the area resident heard. That could have been the sound of Ajay just putting an end to it all. But the sheriff's department makes that determination. Without a body, they don't find any remains, blood, bullets or a suicide note. Nothing. The only thing they think they may have found of Ajay's was an energy bar wrapper left on one of the trails. From what we can tell, there's not a lot pointing to suicide. So we reach out to Ajay's colleagues and friends to get their thoughts.

[Vince Burton]

He was obviously down, he was obviously upset, but was it enough to commit suicide?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Sergeant Vince Burton is still on the fence. On the one hand, Ajay did appear torn up over his marital problems. On the other, he seemed to be coping.

[Vince Burton]

Would you be telling me about your ultra marathon if you were just going to end it all? Would you even be planning to go run at the punch bowl, which is an ugly area anyway?

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

For fact checking purposes, we want to make clear the punchbowl is not ugly, but go on, Vince.

[Vince Burton]

None of that made sense to me with the suicide.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

For Ajay's running buddy, Randy Meggerdly, there's no question, plain and simple, I think he killed himself.

[Vince Burton]

That's the only way I can explain

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

it, because he says Ajay was acting strangely, even more strangely than usual in the weeks before his disappearance.

[Vince Burton]

He says, you know, there's a bunch of caves and stuff out here. You can pretty much disappear, I think was the word that he used, and nobody would ever find you.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Ajay said similar things to Dave Rathbun, but he didn't put a lot of stock into any of the statements because he says, Ajay is just a weird guy.

[Dave Rathbun]

Our unit was next to a big giant duck pond, and one of the ways we used to make jokes about each other is we'd kind of like, where do you fit in the. In the duck pond? John was an. I don't want maligning, but he was one of the oddest ducks in the pond, which is good, right? You need him. You don't want everybody swimming the same.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Initially, Rathbun was open to the possibility of suicide, but he's become increasingly skeptical over time because Abaji had killed himself. He thinks his body or some trace of him would have turned up by now. So Ajay's colleagues are divided on what happened to him. It's kind of like those faces seen in the rocks at the Devil's Punch Bowl. Same details, but interpreted in different ways. And that makes sense because we feel conflicted about it, too. Ajay did say some eerie things about disappearing, but this disappearing act would be pretty hard to pull off. I mean, how could he have buried himself and stay buried for almost three decades? Rathbun asked the sheriff's department to explain that one.

[Dave Rathbun]

They said, well, we think he might have sat on the edge of one of those mines and blown himself into the mine. Okay, we are really stretching now for an explanation as to why we can't find him.

[Mike Bauer]

I didn't accept it. Just common sense told me

[Dave Rathbun]

you probably

[Mike Bauer]

ought to see whether there's any evidence of self infliction.

[Haley Fox]

Pissed off old cop Mike Bauer is evangelical in his belief that the suicide theory is bullshit because he says the sheriff's department didn't arrive at this conclusion. They led with it, and that poisoned the investigation from the start. Bauer says that as early as day three, an LASD official was pushing the suicide narrative during search team briefings. To Bauer, this was equivalent to telling searchers to let up.

[Mike Bauer]

I took that person outside and I said, what in the hell did you say that for? How could you possibly know that at this point? How could you possibly discourage them to search for somebody that worked for you?

[Haley Fox]

The sheriff's department was even sharing this theory with the press.

[Mike Bauer]

We haven't ruled out the possibility of suicide, but we don't have any evidence to support that. That's what he came here to do.

[Haley Fox]

Bauer thinks it's irresponsible to promote the suicide theory without a high degree of certainty, so he prods the department to keep investigating.

[Mike Bauer]

I kept contacting homicide and saying something's wrong. I'm telling you there's a problem.

[Haley Fox]

But he says the department ignored the case to such an extent that he began to question their motives.

[Mike Bauer]

Nobody was in charge of it, and nobody wanted any of it once they saw how stinky it was getting.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Randy Meggerdly represents the other end of the spectrum. So we ask him what he thinks about the possibility of foul play.

[Vince Burton]

I refer to myself as a mushroom. They would just feed me a little bit of poop every once in a while. I wasn't in the know on that whole thing.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I've never heard the mushroom poop metaphor before.

[Vince Burton]

Yeah, you know, you feed you a little bit of poop and you grow a little bit.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

At first, the mushroom poop analogy went way over my head. It sounded like a southern expression my mom just forgot to teach me. But. But then it clicked while I was watching the Departed, the Martin Scorsese movie about corruption within the Boston police department.

[Vince Burton]

My theory on feds is they're like mushrooms.

[Dave Rathbun]

Feed them shit and keep them in the dark.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

I think what Meggertly is saying is that he doesn't ask a lot of questions because he prefers to be kept in the dark about things that don't concern him. And who can really blame him? I mean, law Enforcement agencies are not exactly known for their culture of transparency.

[Dave Rathbun]

That file. You'd have to get special. Special permission to touch that file.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Dave Rathman, Ajay's former partner, says the Sheriff's department is unusually protective of the Ajay case file.

[Dave Rathbun]

And they don't even like to hear you talking about it. Well, to me, that's what you would call a red flag.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

So Rathbun asked his buddy, a retired detective working cold cases for the Sheriff's department, to review the Ajay case.

[Dave Rathbun]

Could you maybe grab that case file? And he went, oh, no. I said, what do you mean, oh, no? Why wouldn't you want to take a look at it? He said, no, that's a hot potato. No one's allowed to touch that. If I start poking around that case, they'd let me go. I said, well, that's interesting. Why? It's a suicide. He said, I don't know. I just know that that case can't be touched.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Those red flags are another reason Rathbun and others just can't get behind the party line.

[Dave Rathbun]

As my father would say, God bless him. There's something rotten in the wood pile, and it stinks, and I can smell.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

And that brings us back to the poop mushroom. It might thrive in darkness, but to me, that's not an ideal environment for policing. I mean, the whole concept behind law enforcement is that watchful eyes deter crime, right? But who is watching the police? There's very little oversight of law enforcement agencies, and it's hard to hold them accountable since the. They control the collection and release of information about internal problems.

[Mike Bauer]

The philosophy of the Sheriff's department is to hide it. And the philosophy of government in a lot of respects is that way. Now with the terrible way they handle public records requests and stuff, they just basically stonewall you. They give you the middle finger. If you're asking for something that the public has a right to know,

[Haley Fox]

tell me about it. Back Bauer. We tried with those public records requests and got the proverbial middle finger. Without access to the information, it's hard for us to know how the Sheriff's Department handled the Ajay case. And we'd remain in the dark if it weren't for Mike Bauer and other deputies coming forward. Bauer retired in 2002 and has spent the better part of his retirement investigating Ajay's disappearance. And he's uncovered what looks like some pretty damning information about the Sheriff's Department.

[Mike Bauer]

They lied to me. They lied to me as a fucking captain of the fucking sheriff's department with 33 years on the job. They fucking lied to me. While I'm in charge of sheriff's intelligence, they're fucking lying to me about what they're doing at homicide to shut this thing up because they don't want me involved in it. Ah, imagine that's how offensive that is.

[Haley Fox]

We know that law enforcement has its problems, but they're not usually laid out for us by dyed in the wool cops. People who know this world from the inside and can show us where the bodies are buried, figuratively speaking. We tell Bauer we want to do a deep dive on the Ajay case, beginning with his investigation.

[Mike Bauer]

You guys have stumbled into a cluster of shadows.

[Haley Fox]

But he's not as encouraging as we expect him to be and for good reason.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

Do you have any advice for us while looking into this disappearance?

[Mike Bauer]

I wouldn't do it alone. In the event somebody did decide that you were getting too close to something, you will not be found killed. You will simply disappear.

[Haley Fox]

This season on Valley of Shadows.

[Dave Rathbun]

Early on, I let the suicide theory sit at 50. 50. As I've learned more and more, I'm at about 90, 95. Murder 5 to 10% suicide.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

They ruler around. The drudge was that a deputy stumbled onto something he shouldn't have and he was taken care of.

[Dave Rathbun]

I'm hearing on the street, man, that Audrey, he didn't commit suicide. He was murdered. I'm hearing from more than one person.

[Haley Fox]

Then I started hearing some rumors that

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

there was a gun.

[Vince Burton]

And yet there's no indication that gun was ever booked into evidence.

[Dave Rathbun]

If he ratted or they thought you were going to rat, it wasn't, hey, don't do that ever again. You're done.

[Vince Burton]

They got rid of you.

[Dave Rathbun]

So that's where the murders came in.

[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

He was describing with his hands and his arms and his whole body where

[Vince Burton]

this cop was buried at.

[Mike Bauer]

In other words, it's not safe. Not because of criminals. It's not safe because of law enforcement. And there's nothing worse than that.

[Haley Fox]

Hey, dude, we're getting like pretty far out in the middle of nowhere and no one knows we're out here.

[Dave Rathbun]

You've got to be careful where you go and who you talk to.

[Haley Fox]

If you have any information or tips related to the disappearance of John auge, please call 213-262-9889 or email Shadowsushkin FM. Valley of Shadows is reported, written and produced by us, Haley Fox and Betsy Shepard. Our editor is Diane Hodson. Our executive producers are Jacob Smith and Alexandra Garriton. Original music by Jake Gorski Ray Lynch, Mike Jersich and Hayden Gardner Sound design by Jake Gorski Fact checking by Annika Robbins Additional production support by Sonja Gerwig and our show art was designed by Sean Carney and Betsy Shepard. Special thanks to Nick White for show art photography. Additional thanks to Jeremy Tao. Valley of Shadows is a production of Pushkin Industries. To find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts from. Type 2 fun. We're Haley and Betsy. See you next week.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Mike Bauer]

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[Narrator/Host (Betsy Shepard)]

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