Ridiculous History – Ancient Wonders of the Modern World: The Lighthouse of Alexandria

Podcast by iHeartPodcasts | Hosts: Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown | Date: February 12, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging installment of Ridiculous History, Ben and Noel return to their recurring “Wonders of the World” series to dive deep into the origins, mysteries, and enduring legacy of the Lighthouse of Alexandria—one of the famed Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. With characteristic banter and plenty of sarcasm, they unpack the historical context of this monumental structure, its builder’s not-so-humble motivations, architectural details, technological mysteries, and its place in ancient and modern culture.

Main Discussion Points

1. Setting the Stage: Alexandria’s Founding & Historical Context

• City of Alexandria: Founded in 332 BCE by Alexander the Great during his campaign against Persia, becoming the capital of his new Egyptian dominion and naval stronghold of the Mediterranean.
• Post-Alexander Leadership: After Alexander's departure (and death), the city’s completion fell to viceroys Cleomenes and then Ptolemy Soter (Ptolemy I), a Macedonian general who established the powerful Ptolemaic dynasty.
  • Quote (Noel, 06:32): “Alexander the Great founded the city, which he named after himself in the aforementioned burst of humility...He liked to start beef with folks.”
• Alexandria’s Importance: Known for its advanced infrastructure, including the Tomb of Alexander, the famed Library of Alexandria, and multiple temples and cultural institutions.

2. Who Built the Lighthouse? The Ptolemaic Dynasty & Motivation

• Ptolemy I’s Ambition: Commissioned the lighthouse as both a navigation aid and a grandiose symbol of his authority.
  • Quote (Ben quoting Mark Cartwright, 15:05): “Ptolemy the first commissions the building of a massive lighthouse to guide ships into Alexandria and…to provide a permanent reminder of his power and greatness.”
• Completion Timeline: Ptolemy I died before its completion, and his son, Ptolemy II (continuing the family tradition of humility), finished the project approximately 20 years later.

3. Architectural Marvel: Design, Scale, and Function

• Geography and Purpose: Built on the island of Pharos (hence “Pharos of Alexandria”), the lighthouse was designed to guide sailors into Alexandria’s two harbors—the “Great Harbor” and the “Harbor of Fortunate Return.”
  • Quote (Ben, 17:18): “The idea behind a lighthouse is pretty solid...it keeps those ships from, you know, wrecking.”
• Structure:
  • White stone construction, three distinct stories: base (rectangular), middle (octagonal), top (circular).
  • Estimates of height range from 100-140 meters (330-460 feet), likely the second tallest structure after the Great Pyramid at the time.
  • Accounts mention a massive statue of Zeus (or Zeus Soter—“the Deliverer”) atop.
  • Descriptions from Arab writers detail internal ramps and staircases.
  • Quote (Noel, 21:07): “Ooh, yeah. What was that? One of those little step, the stepping ones, kind of [like a ziggurat].”

4. Did it Actually Shine? The Mystery of the Lighthouse’s Light

• Light Source Debate:
  • Ancient lighthouses usually employed fire or reflective surfaces, but it’s unclear how the Pharos actually functioned at night.
  • Some historians suggest it served primarily as a monumental day-mark rather than a true nighttime beacon, with only rare mentions of a burning lamp (notably by the unreliable Pliny the Elder).
  • Quote (Noel, 22:41): “A lot of historians seem to think that this was more of a landmark slash thing that would have been helpful during the day…because a lot of the accounts don’t mention a light at all, which seems counterintuitive to calling it the Great Lighthouse.”
  • Quote (Ben, 24:38): “Some of the only reports we have of a lamp burning in the lighthouse at night are from folks like Pliny the Elder. Notorious liar, by the way.”

5. Legacy & Influence: The Lighthouse as a Model

• Setting Precedent: Its scale and innovative layered structure made the Alexandria lighthouse the blueprint for subsequent lighthouses in the Mediterranean and beyond.
  • Quote (Ben, 29:29): “Yeah. It set a precedent.”
• Status as a Wonder: It joined the Seven Wonders list later than some contemporaries, largely due to its impressive stature and unique design.
• End of an Era: Earthquakes in 796 and 950 CE severely damaged it, and by the 14th century, it had vanished from history, with granite foundations later incorporated into a 15th-century fort.
  • Quote (Ben, 31:46): “The lighthouse definitely starts somewhere. It disappears from the historical record after the 14th century, probably due to earthquakes around the 1300s.”

6. Modern Reflections & Pop Culture

• Comparisons & Expectations: The hosts joke about how three stories felt monumental in antiquity, but would seem underwhelming today (“You gotta start with three stories before you can get to, you know, hundreds...” – Noel, 31:29).
• Civ Game Reference: Max, the super producer, weighs in on the lighthouse’s legacy in video game culture—specifically in the Civilization franchise.
  • Quote (Max, 33:18): “It’s one you can build…it makes your ships move faster and you can have better shipping and visibility. Honestly, it’s kind of mid.”
  • Max’s Rating: C-minus as a Civilization Wonder.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ptolemy’s humility:
  • Ben (15:05): “This is a guy who is building a statue for himself while he is alive.”
• On lighthouses’ hidden function:
  • Noel (17:18): “It’s a functioning piece of architecture...it keeps those ships from, you know, wrecking.”
• On ancient technology:
  • Noel (22:41): “What we’re talking about here…may have not had a light at all.”
• On Pliny the Elder:
  • Ben (24:38): “Notorious liar, by the way.”
• On the Lighthouse in Civilization games:
  • Max (33:18): “It’s one that the AI always really wants, so it’s really hard to get, but...I’ll give it a C minus.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:49 – What is a lighthouse? Alexandria’s strategic purpose
• 06:11 – Alexander the Great’s founding and the warring campaigns
• 08:04 – Ptolemy’s role & dynasty foundation
• 15:05 – Motives for building the lighthouse: Power and legacy
• 16:49 – Alexandria’s wider cultural standing
• 18:44 – The Lighthouse’s uniqueness and archetypes of ancient lighthouses
• 21:07 – Detailed architectural breakdown (shape, height, features)
• 22:41 – The “light” controversy and lighthouse technology
• 24:38 – Pliny the Elder’s disputed accounts of the Pharos’ lamp
• 28:47 – Inclusion on the list of Wonders and its legacy as a template
• 31:46 – The structure’s destruction and later reuse
• 32:49 – The Lighthouse in Civilization games (with Max’s commentary)

Tone & Style

The episode maintains Ridiculous History’s signature blend of sarcastic humor, pop culture references (Bioshock Infinite, Steely Dan, video games), and thoughtful historical analysis. Ben and Noel’s dynamic is playful but informed, oscillating between earnest wonder and tongue-in-cheek commentary on the vanity of ancient rulers.

In Summary

The Lighthouse of Alexandria stands as both a literal and metaphorical beacon of ancient ambition, blending function, ego, and myth. While its exact technology and grandeur remain shrouded by history (and a few earthquakes), its influence on architecture, navigation, and even modern pop culture is clear. This episode offers listeners not just a history lesson but a meditation on why humans, ancient and modern, build things to outlast themselves—even if sometimes, as the hosts note, it’s just “classic dictator compensation.”

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