Ridiculous History: Badass of the Week with Ben Thompson - Part 1: History's Most Ridiculous Friendly-fire Incident

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bolan and Noel Brown delve into one of history's most absurd military mishaps. Titled "Badass of the Week, with Ben Thompson - Part 1: History's Most Ridiculous Friendly-fire Incident," the episode features Ben Thompson, the creator of the acclaimed podcast Badass of the Week. Together, they explore the bizarre circumstances surrounding the Battle of Karen Ceves, a friendly-fire incident that stands out as one of the most ridiculous moments in military history.

Introducing the Guest

The episode kicks off with Ben Bolan and Noel Brown warmly welcoming Ben Thompson to the show. Ben Thompson shares insights into his podcast, which celebrates historical figures deemed "badasses" through thorough and entertaining explorations. His enthusiasm sets the stage for an in-depth discussion on the episode's main topic.

Transition to the Main Topic

Given the episode's release on April Fool's Day, Ben Thompson decided to pivot from his usual focus on historical badasses to discuss what he considers the "dumbest battle in history." This decision leads the trio to examine the peculiar events of the Battle of Karen Ceves, a conflict so absurd it blurs the lines between a battle and a friendly-fire incident.

Historical Context: The Holy Roman Empire and Joseph II

The conversation begins with a backdrop of the mid-18th century, a period marked by the complexities of the Holy Roman Empire under the reign of Emperor Joseph II. Joseph II, son of the formidable Empress Maria Theresa, sought to modernize his empire through enlightened despotism—a balance of progressive reforms and autocratic rule.

Ben Thompson explains, “Joseph II is trying to be remembered as this great ruler, making big changes at home, but he needs to do some big foreign policy thing in order to be remembered as this great military mind and diplomat” ([19:15]).

The Prelude to the Battle: The Kettle War of 1784

Amidst internal divisions and external pressures, Joseph II's attempts at diplomacy falter, leading to the infamous Kettle War of 1784. The conflict arises when the Austrian Netherlands (modern-day Belgium) blockades Dutch ports, disrupting trade and military movements. In response, Joseph II sends a fleet of three warships to assert dominance.

Noel Brown muses, “We have to be clear just to get it out there. Ben, this is not a period in history wherein the public, the people who lived in those areas would get a survey or a poll” ([31:06]).

The Ridiculous Friendly-fire Incident

The crux of the episode centers on a single, ill-fated shot fired by the Dutch navy. A Dutch warship, renowned for its precision despite having fewer vessels, fires a warning shot intended to disable the blockade ships. Instead, the cannonball strikes a tea kettle aboard the Austrian flagship, signaling an immediate and absurd surrender.

Ben Thompson humorously recounts, “They shoot one shot and it knocks a tea kettle off of the Austro Hungarian ship. This is the story is that they fire one shot and it knocks a tea kettle off of the Austro Hungarian ship” ([29:15]).

The incident, quickly dubbed the Battle of Karen Ceves, is described as so ineffective that it skirts the definition of a battle entirely, leaning more into a comical act of friendly-fire.

Foreign Policy Missteps and Alliances

Following the Kettle War, Joseph II's foreign policy struggles intensify. His alliances, particularly with Russia under Catherine the Great, are fraught with complications. Attempts to gain favor and secure military victories against the Ottoman Empire are continually undermined by internal rebellions and external pressures from Prussia.

Ben Bolan reflects, “What's an Ottoman? That's the thing you put your feet on, right?” ([13:14]), highlighting the sometimes superficial understanding of historical complexities among leaders of the time.

The Absurdity of War and Leadership

Throughout the discussion, the hosts emphasize the absurdity of the situation, highlighting Joseph II's overambitious plans and lack of genuine military prowess. The surrenders, driven by something as trivial as a toppled tea kettle, underscore the folly of leadership decisions detached from reality.

Ben Thompson remarks, “This is basically what happens here. A peace treaty is then signed shortly thereafter. The war lasted for one gunshot” ([29:08]).

Insights and Reflections

The episode offers a humorous yet insightful look into how miscommunications and trivial incidents can escalate into significant historical events. The Battle of Karen Ceves serves as a testament to the unpredictable nature of warfare and the importance of competent leadership.

Noel Brown adds, “There's nothing like a common enemy to bring folks together. But in this case, it was. There were additional complications for sure” ([41:26]), reflecting on the challenges of uniting a diverse empire under a single cause.

Conclusion and Anticipation for Part 2

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their appreciation for the historical oddities discussed and tease the continuation of the story in Part 2. The episode concludes on a lighthearted note, reinforcing the show's mission to uncover and celebrate the most ridiculous yet fascinating moments in history.

Ben Bolan concludes, “We couldn't do it without the help of our amazing team, starting with our super producer, Mr. Max Williams” ([43:52]), signaling the collaborative effort behind Ridiculous History.

Notable Quotes

• Ben Thompson: “Joseph II is trying to be remembered as this great ruler, making big changes at home, but he needs to do some big foreign policy thing in order to be remembered as this great military mind and diplomat” ([19:15]).

• Ben Thompson: “They shoot one shot and it knocks a tea kettle off of the Austro Hungarian ship. This is the story is that they fire one shot and it knocks a tea kettle off of the Austro Hungarian ship” ([29:15]).

• Ben Thompson: “This is basically what happens here. A peace treaty is then signed shortly thereafter. The war lasted for one gunshot” ([29:08]).

• Noel Brown: “There were additional complications for sure” ([41:26]).

Final Thoughts

This episode of Ridiculous History masterfully blends humor with historical analysis, shedding light on one of the most comically ineffective battles ever recorded. Through lively discussions and insightful commentary, Ben Bolan, Noel Brown, and Ben Thompson offer listeners a captivating journey into the absurdities of history, making it both educational and entertaining.