CLASSIC: (Some of) History's Dumbest Military Prototypes

Summary

Ridiculous History

Episode: CLASSIC: (Some of) History's Dumbest Military Prototypes

Date: October 11, 2025
Hosts: Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown
Guest: Christopher Haciotes

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Overview

In this classic episode, Ben and Noel—joined by their friend Christopher Haciotes—delve into military history’s most spectacularly odd and ill-conceived inventions. The theme: how the pursuit of innovation sometimes leads nations down very ridiculous paths, as illustrated by military prototypes that seem more suited to cartoons than the battlefield. The hosts apply their signature banter, poking fun while also marveling at the audacity and, occasionally, the weird sort of logic behind these failed inventions.

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Key Discussion Points & Inventions

Why Does Military Innovation Get So Weird?

• Military budgets enable wild ideas: [05:21]
  • The U.S. military alone had a $610 billion budget in 2017—“You have to wonder where all this money goes.” (Ben, 05:23)
• Tech trickle-down: Many civilian technologies were once military innovations.
  • “A lot of things that are common in the civilian world started out as military initiatives for the purposes of waging war.” (Ben, 05:50)
• Pressure to impress bosses: Sometimes, higher-ups demand something flashy, whether or not it makes sense.
  • “Sometimes bosses like to throw out big, wild ideas to justify their existence... but a lot of times it just kind of fizzles.” (Noel, 08:57)

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1. The Russian Circular Warships ("Popovkas")

Presented by: Christopher Haciotes
Timestamps: [09:52]–[18:06]

• Inspiration: After defeats in the Black Sea, Russia was banned from building battleships but needed coastal defense. Vice Admiral Popov devised circular, heavily-armored ships (the Novgorod and Vitse Admiral Popov).
• Design: Round, flat, 360-degree ships with giant guns on top and six propellers in back.
• Fatal Flaw: Firing a gun spun the entire ship out of control due to physics and lack of stabilizing design.
  • “Anytime one gun would fire, it would just spin the ship around in a circle.” (Christopher, 12:05)
• Operational Outcome: Despite obvious failings, the ships entered service and "just kind of floated there" for decades before finally being scrapped.
• Memorable Quote: “Honestly, it looks like a toy you would float in a bathtub.” (Christopher, 15:38)
• Notable Moment: Discussion of trying—and failing—to time firing both cannons to avoid spinning.
  • “In theory, if you fired both cannons at precisely the right time, it would stabilize itself, but that seems so, so unlikely.” (Christopher, 17:14)
• Takeaway: Even with the best intentions and some creative ideas (the round hull was thought to add stability), ignoring basic physics doomed the project.

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2. Rocket Bullets and the MBA Gyrojet

Presented by: Noel Brown
Timestamps: [18:13]–[26:51]

• The Tech: Self-propelled “rocket bullets” fired from Gyrojet guns—bullets that didn’t use traditional gunpowder but mini-rockets. Invented by Robert Meinhart and Arthur T. Beal.
• Features and Flaws:
  • Needed little gun mechanism—bullets carried their own fuel.
  • Fired slowly at first, picking up speed after leaving the barrel — making them ineffective at close range.
    • “People would joke you could stop it with your hand… might break some bones, but wouldn’t penetrate.” (Noel, 20:03)
  • Used “spin stabilization” via drilled holes to keep the bullet flying straight—but unpredictable fuel burn made accuracy dubious.
  • Manufacturing was costly due to complex bullet design.
• Cultural Note: Used in the James Bond film You Only Live Twice for their “spy tech” appeal.
• Outcome: Brief military interest; commercial flop; the company pivoted to non-lethal rounds and gadgets.
• Memorable Imagery: “I’m just picturing a cute little mouse holding one of these on its shoulder, launching rockets at cats.” (Christopher, 25:52)
• Lesson: Sometimes, technological solutions solve problems that didn’t really exist (“a very roundabout way of doing something that was already done pretty well”).

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3. The Hafner Rotabuggy (The Flying Jeep)

Presented by: Ben Bowlin
Timestamps: [32:11]–[41:22]

• Concept: Combine a Jeep with helicopter rotors—“If you ever looked at a Jeep and thought, ‘I would get one of these if it was also a helicopter’…”
• Origin: UK WWII effort to create a vehicle that could be airdropped and instantly operational.
• How it Worked: Fitted WW2-era Jeeps with rotors, making them look comically awkward (“wearing suspenders and a belt” (Ben, 33:43)).
• Testing: Initial drops from small heights were successful—full-scale flight… not so much.
• Biggest Problem: Unstable, prone to dangerous vibrations, unaerodynamic. Tests topped out around 10 minutes of air time [37:46].
• Obsolescence: Displaced by more practical gliders that could carry full vehicles (e.g., Horsa glider).
• Trivia: A replica is displayed at the Museum of Army Flying in Middle Wallop, UK.
• Quote: “It looks like a child’s transformer. I think we could get the number of flying cars up to four without chaos…” (Ben, 39:04; 39:42)
• Takeaway: Seemingly whimsical solutions can be overtaken by more practical technology before they’re even ready.

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4. The Double-Barreled Chain Cannon (Civil War Era)

Presented by: Christopher Haciotes
Timestamps: [41:22]–[47:12]

• Inventor: John Gilliland of Athens, GA, based on even older Renaissance Italian ideas [1642].
• How it Worked: Two cannon barrels fused together, firing cannonballs connected by a 10-foot chain, the goal being to mow down swathes of enemy troops.
  • “It was just so wild and uncontrollable that the Confederate army said, ‘No, no, no. This is ridiculous. We do not want this.’” (Christopher, 44:04)
• What Went Wrong: Impossible to get simultaneous, precise firing with 1860s tech; often sent the ammo flying in wild, dangerous arcs.
• Real-World Use: Only served as a signal cannon after being deemed too hazardous for battle.
• Physical Legacy: Can still be seen outside Athens City Hall, GA—“pointed straight up at the Yankees.” (Christopher, 46:51)
• Memorable Banter:
  • “Let’s double… Did anybody try like a triple-barreled cannon?” (Ben, 45:35)
  • “I think they have that at Burger King, right?” (Christopher, 45:39)
• Lesson: The temptation to “double” a solution can multiply the problems.

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5. Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee — The "Hoverboard" Platform

Presented by: Noel Brown
Timestamps: [52:11]–[56:51]

• Design: Disk-shaped machine with ducted fans allowing a single person to “hover” by leaning in the intended direction (kinesthetic control).
  • “No controls except for a throttle…. Like a Segway in that respect.” (Noel, 53:05)
• Development: Multiple models increased in size but lost stability and became unwieldy; the largest had to include a seat and traditional controls.
• Testing: “Phil… I suppose you’ve come as close as anyone to operating a flying carpet…” (test flight reporter, [54:38])
• Performance: Never very fast or agile; never adopted due to lack of clear battlefield advantage.
• Legacy: Provided valuable VTOL (vertical takeoff and landing) insight for future tech; inspired countless sci-fi and videogame villain designs.
• Banter: “If it moves as you move, you probably can’t use a heavy rifle because then you might throw yourself off—like your round ship.” (Christopher, 56:10)

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6. The Ball Tank (Kugelpanzer / “Tumbleweed Tank”)

Presented by: Ben Bowlin
Timestamps: [58:03]–[64:51]

• Original Idea: Invented by Texan A.J. Richardson in 1936, inspired by the desire to reduce no-man’s-land chaos in WWI.
• Design: Three men sealed inside an armored sphere, each with a gun; propelled forward/backward by rotating shells.
• Practical Realities:
  • “The guys sealed inside...could not see outside. They had no idea what was going on.” (Ben, 62:04)
  • Guns poked out in random directions; limited ability to aim or even steer.
  • Major inspiration for Germany’s WW2-era Kugelpanzer.
• Physical Remnant: Only one Kugelpanzer survived—a museum piece in Russia.
  • “At least the Germans included a small visor so the operator could see…” (Ben, 64:38)
• Banter: “I could only imagine this would be worse if instead of a trap they all had to run inside to make it go like those giant translucent plastic balls… Zorbing?” (Christopher, 62:34)
• Lesson: Sometimes attempts to “solve” the wrong battlefield problem create even more confusion (for everyone—operator, friends, and enemies alike).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “That's just not gonna work.” (Christopher, 60:02) — on the Ball Tank design.
• “If they don't exist yet, they absolutely need to. So please come and hang out with us next time when we talk about flowers as currency or some sort of bitcoin bubble!” (Noel, 67:51) — tongue-in-cheek tease for next episode.
• “The only way you can learn whether or not they're feasible is to test them. You know what I mean? Rocket Bullets sounds like a tremendous idea. It sounds really cool.” (Ben, 67:39)

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Timestamps for Segment Highlights

• [05:21] — U.S. military budgets & innovation
• [09:52] — Popovka (Russian round ship) story begins
• [18:13] — Rocket Bullets & the Gyrojet
• [32:11] — Hafner Rotabuggy (flying Jeep)
• [41:22] — Double-Barreled Cannon (Athens, GA)
• [52:11] — Hiller VZ-1 "Hoverboard"
• [58:03] — The Ball Tank (Kugelpanzer)

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Tone & Style

The tone is playfully skeptical, with irreverent banter and plenty of dad-joke energy. Hosts and guest balance comedy with nerdy fascination, indulging in history’s oddities while still showing respect for the wild ambition that led to these failures.

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Conclusion

Military history is littered with ill-fated but often ingenious prototypes. These ideas were born from a mix of desperation, imagination, and that eternal capacity to overcomplicate simple problems. Some left physical remnants viewable today, others live on as cautionary tales or cult curiosities. As Ben summarizes, “We’re not really picking on these inventors…A lot of these ideas seemed very promising, and the only way you can learn whether or not they're feasible is to test them.”

Have your own nominees for ridiculous military inventions? The hosts would love to hear them.

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Guest Plug:
Catch Christopher Haciotes hosting "This Day in History Class" podcast, and keep up with links on the Ridiculous Historians Facebook page! [65:10]

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Ben]

Fellow ridiculous historians, we got a classic for you that just keeps coming back to our mind. We brag about our friend Christopher Haciotes constantly because he is just that cool.

[Noel]

He's here in spirit.

[Ben]

He is always with us. And Christopher came to us a while back and said, hey guys, do you think the military does dumb stuff sometimes?

[Noel]

Not a chance.

[Ben]

Not a chance.

[Noel]

They're all, it's all, it's all thriller, no filler.

[Ben]

Yeah. And Christopher, you know, knows us well. And he probably, if I had, if I had to guess, Christopher probably knew that we had been working on some hilarious stuff they don't want you to know. Historical missteps or some ridiculous history. Weird ideas like the government, the world's governments pitch all kinds of crazy stuff. They'll see a cat walking around and they'll say, can we turn this cat into a spy?

[Noel]

What if. Yeah, let's just mount some lasers on the heads of these Dolphins. That was Dr. Evil, but you get the idea. If I'm not mistaken, Ben, this episode on idiotic military prototypes involves like a thing that was like a pedal driven helicopter under a dome. Like that was trying to be sort of like a war of the world sort of space vehicle, like Jetsons type thing, but just it could not stay aloft. And I'm probably misremembering some of the details there, but that's the kind of stuff you're in for on this episode.

[Ben]

And we can't wait to roll the tape.

[Christopher Haciotes]

This is an I heart podcast.

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[Noel]

It'S Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu.

[Ben]

Every single episode.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop.

[Christopher Haciotes]

What?

[Noel]

Yeah, it's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben]

There's a viral sickness in Amber's Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out. From iheart podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. This is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartrad. First things first. The US military has so much money. It's only tangentially related to our episode today, but if we're looking at a hard number, in 2017 alone, the US military's budget was around a little over $610 billion.

[Noel]

Ben, that can't be true.

[Ben]

It's true, Noel. It's true. And you have to wonder where all this money goes. We have not been in the military ourselves that we're aware of, right?

[Noel]

No, no. But I think you've spent some time around military type things.

[Ben]

That's true in my other life. And our super producer Casey Pegram has also, to our knowledge, not been involved in the military or cannot admit to anything.

[Noel]

He's more of a sleeper agent type.

[Ben]

You know, I always had him pegged as that as well. And I mean that as a compliment, Casey. But every time that we are looking into strange stor for Ridiculous History, we have a pretty high likelihood of running into some shenanigan by one military or another. Because militaries and governments drive a lot of technological innovation right there. A Lot of things that are now common in the civilian world started out as military initiatives for the purposes of waging war.

[Noel]

That's right. And there's always kind of a disconnect where you think, oh, that's like crazy future technology. But turns out the military was doing it, like, 20 years ago. And then it kind of gets. When they're, like, done with it, then it gets leaked out into the public sphere, and you can kind of, you know, get a thumb drive or like a PlayStation or whatever.

[Ben]

Or a GPS system.

[Noel]

Exactly.

[Ben]

Yeah. And this. This is something that's been on our collective minds for some time, both in this show and other shows that we've done. So we were over the moon when our good pal friend of the show, Christopher Osiotes, hit us up earlier and said, hey, what. What do you guys think about weird military weapons that never quite made it. We said something to the effect of, holy smokes, will you please hang out with us on air? And by golly, by gum, he agreed. Welcome back to the show, ridiculous historians. Christopher Haciotes.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Hey, thanks for having me.

[Noel]

And then we all hugged.

[Ben]

And then we all hugged again and.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Again and again in a ridiculous way.

[Ben]

We've been hugging this whole time and doing light handholds.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

So, Christopher, of course, thank you for returning to the show. If anyone listening through some gross miscarriage of cosmic justice hasn't had the chance to check out your appearance on our Louie Louie episode, I would say I don't know what you think, Noel. I would say, pause this episode and listen to that.

[Noel]

It's one of my personal favorite episodes we've ever done.

[Ben]

So, Christopher, what inspired you to think about this topic?

[Christopher Haciotes]

There are, as you mentioned, the military contributes so many things to society in terms of technological innovations. Lots of great stuff that we've gotten out of the minds behind military weaponry. But to get to those successes, sometimes you gotta break a couple, what, nuclear bombs? Eggs. To make a. We're gonna stretch this metaphor out to make some sort of omelet of death and destruction. The death omelet. Yeah, the death omelet.

[Ben]

Right. Nailed it.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, I like that. But, yeah, there are just a lot of examples of really strange things out there where you would think this is an Internet hoax the first time you hear about it. Or you would think, surely someone on some committee would have said, guys, wait a minute, that's just not gonna work. But probably a lot of you out there listening have been in a situation where, you know, your boss has an idea and your boss really loves the Idea. And you're thinking, I know that's not a good idea. And everyone around here knows that's not a good idea. But the boss really wants to do this.

[Noel]

Yeah. And sometimes bosses like to throw out big, wild ideas to justify their existence, you know, in the hopes that it'll, like, be a big splash. But a lot of times it just kind of fizzles. And today we're going to talk about some good fizzles.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. Fizzles, splashes. Kabooms, Kaputs.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

All the onomatopoeia out there.

[Ben]

That's true. Yeah. And we have compiled some of our favorites. We do have to say from the beginning, we're not going to get to every single spectacular, strange, hilarious failure.

[Christopher Haciotes]

No.

[Noel]

We're going to do two apiece.

[Ben]

Yeah. We're going to. Maybe if the wind's at our back and everything goes according to plan, hit up a total of six. But we have curated these, and we want to know what you think. What do you think about this, guys? Christopher Centur, our guest today. Would you like to do the honors and kick off the first invention?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Guys, just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that departed from a Russian port upon a rounded ship.

[Noel]

Mate, was a mighty sailing man. I'm sorry, I can't not do that.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. I don't know what's Gilligan in Russian?

[Ben]

Comrade Gilligan.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Comrade Ben.

[Ben]

I know you've got a Russian accent, Comrade Gilliganov.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I love it. I love it. Yeah. The first thing I want to talk to you about are the round ships of the Russian Navy. We're talking 1860s technology. Two ships in particular. The Vita, Admiral Popov and the Novgorod. Now, these were coastal defense ships. You have to think back to the time of the Russian war. So Russia had just suffered some defeats at the hands of France and some of their allies, and they had actually been banned from building and maintaining battleships in the Black Sea. But Russia still needed to defend their land and their sea. And specifically, we're talking about the Kerch Strait. Now, that's the. If you think back to your geography class, the part of the world right between the Black Sea and the Sea of Azov. So you've got a little strait where ships pass through and they need to defend it. And this task of creating a defense was given to Vice Admiral Popov. He said, I'm gonna make you some ships to defend the waters. He said, I'm gonna make you some round ships to defend the waters.

[Noel]

Yeah. Cause it's 360 degrees of protection, right?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. Floating platforms, kind of tank. Like not intended for quick fleet battle, but just intended to defend.

[Ben]

More like death buoys.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. So he came up with this circular boat. He wanted to build 10 of them, but the Russian navy said, let's, let's go, let's build two, you know, and then we'll talk about the rest. So I want you to picture just a circular platform a couple hundred feet across.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Six propellers on the back, two cannons on the top. Now let me ask you, have you guys been canoeing?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. No.

[Noel]

Kayaking.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Kayaking, okay. So have you ever been kayaking and just rode just on one side.

[Noel]

You kind of go around in circles.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Like now imagine you're just firing a cannon just on one side and then.

[Ben]

It accelerates your spin. Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And you're a completely circular boat.

[Ben]

So this wasn't moored in any way to the sea floor.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So this was a ship, it was a monitor, which is a type of small light warship defined by kind of oversized guns. So you've got this round ship, two guns on top, and anytime one gun would fire, it would just spin the ship around in a circle. And they tried and tried and tried to figure out a way to counterbalance this. They tried to run the propellers in the opposite direction of the firing. It just didn't work. And it just came down to a severe misunderstanding and. Or just plain ignoring the physics on the part of Admiral Popov.

[Noel]

Well, isn't there a vodka named after him?

[Christopher Haciotes]

I don't know if it's named after him, but it is named that.

[Noel]

Okay, well, maybe, maybe there was vodka.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Vodka best forgotten from the, you know, it's. No, Mr. Boston. You know, half tip to Mr. Boston.

[Noel]

No, I know, I know it's pretty low shelf, but.

[Ben]

So maybe those were his two big ideas. Round warships and, you know, low rent vodka.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, he thought that if you, if you created a really shallow, round, broad boat, it would float really well in the water. And it did. It floated fine. But the problem is what makes boats so successful is the shape. They're sort of long, they cut through the water. Right. When you have a wide, broad boat with six propellers trying to push forward, you're pushing the entire mass. There's a lot more drag. It just does not work. And nobody said, hey, Popov, let's not do this. So the ships were built, we're talking 1870. They actually, despite their ridiculous nature, were put into service, defended the straits, didn't do it particularly well.

[Noel]

So they did these embarrassing Tests and they tried to fix it, but they realized they couldn't, but they just went ahead and forged on.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, the thing is, is the tests themselves weren't that embarrassing. We're still in early days of tank testing. And by tank, I mean a giant tank of water. You know, it takes a lot to build a ship and you don't want to just put it out on the water and.

[Noel]

Because then there you are.

[Ben]

So they did models, right?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, they built, yeah, a big tank of water. Built some models. And you know, these tanks were still water. And that's one of the things. These ships worked fine in still water. But let me read you a little bit about this ship from the book World's Worst Warships, a very specific book out in 2002 from Anthony Preston. He said the Vitse, Admiral Popov and the Novgorod were too slow to stem the current and proved very difficult to steer. In practice, the discharge of even one gun caused them to turn out of control. And even contra rotating some of the six propellers were unable to keep the ship on correct heading. They were prone to rapid rolling and pitching in anything more than a flat calm and could not aim or load their guns under such circumstances.

[Noel]

So wouldn't that throw off the trajectory of the shot as well? Right, so it would not only screw up the navigation of the boat and the direction it would like be completely impossible to aim.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, I think you would have to just be really lucky or hit the broadside of a boat that's nearby or try to shoot it, I don't know, at the water as a warning. Basically. These were in service. These two boats were in service for about three decades. They just kind of floated there. They did their thing. Ultimately, they were put into storage in 1893 and right before the First World War kicked off, they were just scrapped.

[Ben]

Because they figured they could use the materials for something a little bit less.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Cartoonishly ineffective or it was just wasting everyone's time. You know, you had better things to do than to just keep a giant round boat that. Honestly, it looks like a toy. It looks like a child's toy that you would float in a bathtub.

[Noel]

So it doesn't even look scary.

[Christopher Haciotes]

No, it's, it's, it looks perfect. Perfect circle.

[Noel]

No, I get it.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah.

[Noel]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And we've got some photos we can share on. Ridiculous historians.

[Noel]

What's the logic though? What is it? What is this pop off fellow thinking? Like, is he trying to cut corners?

[Ben]

Wow.

[Noel]

Literally cut all the corners.

[Ben]

There we go. That was good.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, he really did just want to come up with a really smart idea. You know, it's the kind of thing you want to be the one who solves the problem.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And he just didn't. There were other round boat proponents at the time. There was a guy in England in the 1850s who was really all about the round hull. People thought it would add stability to the ship, and it added stability in certain circumstances. But in rain, in wind, in choppy waters, you know the kind of things that happen when you're at sea. No dice.

[Ben]

So one important note for everyone listening who's thinking maybe the same thing I initially thought, which is, well, okay, sure, this ship rotates wildly. Anytime the gun is fired, the guns are fired. Rather, why don't they just make these weapons of absolute chaos and have the guns fire quickly? So the stuff is just sort of spinning. Tasmanian devil style firing on all sides. The problem, I believe, is the loading time. Right. Because every shot was. So these were rifle mortar type rounds, muzzle loaded guns.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. This is still 1870s, 1880s. So we don't have machine gun technology on a boat like this.

[Ben]

And they can't load it while it's spinning.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ben]

So I would be very curious to find out how long it took them to shoot, get back to a calm, stable state, and then reload and shoot again.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I guess in theory, if you fired both cannons at precisely the right time, it would stabilize itself, but that seems so, so unlikely and also wasting a.

[Noel]

Shot because obviously your target's only going to be on one side or the other. Chances are. So you got to coordinate and be like, all right, guys, we got a.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Three, two, one, go.

[Noel]

Oh, yeah, this is comical.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. I mean, in Popov's defense, he was trying to solve problems and ignoring the problems generated by his supposed solutions. The ships that were round like this could be much more heavily armored, so they could withstand more attacks. So he did solve that problem, but it just kind of ignored the failings.

[Noel]

All right, well, I think we can definitely call that a military fail.

[Ben]

Yes, for sure.

[Noel]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

A Popovka, as it was known. The type of ship, they named it after him. To his glory and. Or maybe in glory.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. What's next?

[Noel]

Do I get to go?

[Ben]

Do you want to go?

[Noel]

I do. Because I really want to say these two words.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, Go for it.

[Noel]

Rocket bullets.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yes.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Noel]

Rocket bullets. That's fun, right?

[Ben]

Yeah. So one of the first questions would be, aren't all bullets propelled? What makes these different?

[Noel]

Well, these are propelled using rocket fuel. Nice. Or jet fuel. Let's be Fair. Yeah. So this might sound like something out of a James Bond movie. And as it turns out, it actually is. This weapon called the Gyrojet, made by two gentlemen named Robert Meinhart and Arthur T. Beal, who started a company, an arms company called mba, which was short for Manhart and Beale Associates. They decided they wanted regular guns, just weren't cutting it for them. They wanted to do something a little more futuristic because this is the time when we wanted to rocketize everything.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And so their company was mba, right?

[Noel]

Yeah, mba.

[Christopher Haciotes]

It should have been like Magic Bullet association or something.

[Ben]

There we go.

[Noel]

Thank you. So the first thing they worked on was something called the fin jet, which shot these tiny little needle type rocket bullets out of this weapon. And the thing that was cool about rocket bullets, that's what I'm gonna keep calling them, is they were self propell propelling. They didn't need that much complicated mechanisms in the gun itself because these bullets literally had a rod of jet fuel running through them and a little element that could get hit by the hammer. Didn't even need a firing pin. And then it would propel itself out of the muzzle. And I actually saw a really great video where some guys with a YouTube channel got a hold of one of these, the Gyrojet model. And you can see they did slow motion photography where the bullet exits the muzzle and then a little ways out, it gets rocketized. So when it comes out initially it's actually going quite slow. So one of the issues with this gun was it didn't work very well at point blank range because, you know, people would joke that you could stop it with your hand and it, you know, it might break some bones in your hand, but it certainly would not penetrate your skin at point.

[Christopher Haciotes]

It seems like range if you fired a bullet that's moving that slowly, its trajectory wouldn't stay constant.

[Noel]

Yeah, that's the thing about it. It used a technology called spin stabilization, which I'm a little foggy on the exact cause I'm not like a ballistic specialist or anything, but the bullets had these three holes drilled in the back of them that when it would cause them to rotate really, really fast and they would achieve such an incredible speed once they actually got to their maximum velocity. And a lot of that had to do with the fact that they came out of the barrel, like spinning.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So sort of like a rifling technology?

[Noel]

Exactly like that, but not because the barrels were smooth. They didn't actually have that. That a regular gun, it has bored out kind of like little whatever you call it markings or kind of grooves. Exactly. That causes the bullet to do that because otherwise it would just go wild and not be accurate at all. Turns out it still wasn't very accurate because of the fact that this rocket fuel would burn at pretty unpredictable rates and you could never quite predict what it was going to do. So this video that I saw, which is really, really worth checking out. If you just searched testing gyrojet rocket guns, why were they a commercial failure on YouTube? You can these guys that do this amazing test of this, you can't find these anymore because the parts don't exist.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, I imagine that they look kind of like a bottle rocket where they just sort of spin off wildly. You can't quite decide which way it's gonna go.

[Noel]

No, they were much more stable than that, but they certainly were not as stable as a traditional gun. They did some tests where they measured how accurate they were compared to a regular gun. And it wasn't insane, but it was just very unpredictable. And there's one part where it just kind of went up all of a sudden and like shot the GoPro camera off of the dummy that they were firing at. So but they had other models. They had a more of a rifle with a scope on it and they had something that kind of looks like a machine gun, a carbine. But these were. They loaded one bullet at a time and it was semi automatic so you could fire one after the other. But it certainly wasn't fully automatic. And this is pretty neat in order to keep the rocket fuel from like leaking out or to keep it contained properly. These guys were super innovative. They figured out that titanium oxide was the best chemical for containing this stuff. So it didn't accidentally ignite just like in the casing. And they just went down to the local paint store and bought the white paint that had the most titanium oxide content. And so you can actually see they got these rocket fuel rods in these long, kind of like almost like big thick pencil lead. And then they lathed it on like an actual lathe to get it cut down to the right size to fit these bullets. And then they spray painted them white on the outside and then put them in the casing. And it did not discharge a shell, it shot the whole thing out. So that's what made them different too.

[Ben]

Question. Yeah. How much did these cost and did the cost play a role in their failure other than their completely hilarious. Yeah, lack of reliability?

[Noel]

And this maybe isn't a very good military one because it doesn't feel like they were developed for the military, but it was too good of like a weaponry fail to not throw in here. And especially the fact that it was very much featured in you only live twice, the James Bond movie, because of the fact that you look at them, they look like a cool like spy gun, you know.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean given that it's full of rocket fuel, I wouldn't want to carry that around in my pocket. But it's a cool looking gun.

[Noel]

It is a cool looking gun. Not to mention that apparently they could engineer the bullets so that they would dissolve in the human body.

[Ben]

Cool.

[Noel]

And that was a big part of it, I believe in the Bond film. Because that way you would leave no trace and there would be no forensic evidence to tie anybody to the bullets. Exactly.

[Ben]

But I think that they did at least get tested by the US army, if not specifically this brand of rocket bullets, something like this gyrojet had an assault rifle that the army tested briefly.

[Noel]

Yeah, I mean I didn't run across that myself. It was a very bit of a blip in the history of these weapons. But I mean the army's gonna get wind of any new fangled device, they'll give it a go, they'll throw a little money at it.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And if you're gonna miniaturize something, I mean you might, you could, you could load that thing with little tiny explosives in the tip. You could have like a tiny little ballistic missile.

[Noel]

And it's interesting, the, the weapons failed because of largely they were expensive and they were a pain to make because to drill those holes I was talking about, that created the spin, they had to have these tapered drill bits which had to be custom machined themselves and they would always break. So to make that the AMM very expensive because again, the guns themselves only really had a hammer and the firing pin was fixed because it actually would push the hammer would push it backwards and then the firing pin would pierce the little primer that would then set off the chain reaction that would light the rocket fuel. But you would see it come out of the gun and it wouldn't start shooting a little rocket tail out of it until it was about halfway to the target. So I mean it's, it's pretty fascinating. But the company NBA actually went on to make a lot of non lethal ammunition like beanbag shot and, and they made little pen guns like little pen projectile things that were, that were used in the military. So.

[Ben]

Cool.

[Noel]

Pretty cool, right?

[Ben]

Yeah, I think that's ridiculous.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I don't know.

[Noel]

I think it's more Interesting. But it's just a very roundabout way of doing something that was already done pretty well. It's sort of like.

[Christopher Haciotes]

But, but, but, but, but.

[Noel]

These use rocket fuel. These use rocket fuel.

[Ben]

Guys, have you heard about rocket fuel?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. I like to think in the future when humanity is gone and the world is overtaken by, let's say, mice. Super smart, intelligent mice. Sure.

[Ben]

Very secret in them.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, absolutely. They're gonna find these guns and these will act like giant bazookas or missile launchers. I'm just picturing a cute little mouse holding one of these guns on its shoulder, launching rockets at, you know, cats.

[Noel]

I love that image. And last thing I do want to say that in the video that I saw, the, the ammunition they had was, was very, very old and it all worked, you know, and I would have thought that the, the fuel would have degraded or something would have happened to make it not function properly, explode in the gun and not do what it was supposed to do. And it wasn't perfectly accurate, but it definitely reached the target every time and didn't just like zoom off somewhere else entirely. It just didn't, you know, keep a perfect bead, you know what I mean?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, you know what the answer is to all this? That the, the expensive, boring tips and all that. Lasers.

[Ben]

Lasers.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Lasers, yeah, yeah. I am not a scientist, I am not a ballistics expert, but as with all things in life, the answer is probably just lasers.

[Ben]

And you are, you are a well known laser enthusiast?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, why not?

[Ben]

It's one of the first things people told me about you when we started working together.

[Noel]

They're just neat.

[Ben]

They're great. Oh, man. We used to have a very like an industrial class laser at the office. Years and years ago, it mysteriously disappeared.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Would it make a cool laser sound like in the really cheesy techno songs?

[Ben]

I feel like every time we played around with it and we were literally just playing with a dangerous laser, one of us was making sounds.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Making pew pew noises.

[Ben]

Yeah. Because it was better than the click click.

[Noel]

Why did you, why did you have this? What was it? Was it for?

[Ben]

You know, just to learn about stuff. Lasers are cool.

[Noel]

Yeah.

[Ben]

It wasn't powerful enough to physically cut things, but it was one of those lasers that would do permanent damage to your eye.

[Noel]

Got it.

[Ben]

If you shot it towards someone's eye.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I would do some good for kids.

[Ben]

Good for great for children.

[Noel]

I was at a Black Crows concert once and someone had one of those laser pointers and was shooting it at the singer guy and he got very upset. He threatened to. To take it away from him and put it someplace like yeah, pipsy in his pocket.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Oh yeah.

[Noel]

And he's going to confiscate it, not give it back.

[Ben]

Sounds very substitute teacher vibe there.

[Noel]

All I know is what I've been.

[Ben]

Told and that to have truth is a whole lie.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Noel]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

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[Ben]

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[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer. And I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[Noel]

I did not know her and I.

[Ben]

Did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said.

[Christopher Haciotes]

They literally made me say that I.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Took a match and struck and threw it on her.

[Christopher Haciotes]

They made me say that I or.

[Noel]

Gas on her.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

From lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[Christopher Haciotes]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[Noel]

Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben]

Hey, it's Ed Helms.

[Noel]

And welcome back to Snafu, my podcast.

[Ben]

About history's greatest screw ups.

[Noel]

On our new season, we're back bringing you a new Snafu Every single episode.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

32 lost nuclear weapons.

[Christopher Haciotes]

You're like, wait, stop.

[Noel]

What?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s basketball player who still wore knee pads.

[Noel]

Yes. It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and.

[Christopher Haciotes]

A whole lot of guests.

[Noel]

The great Paul Scheer made me feel good. I'm like, oh, wow, Angela and Jenna. I am so psychedelic. You're here.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

What was that like for you to soft launch into the show?

[Noel]

Sorry, Jenna.

[Ben]

I'll be asking the questions today.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

I forgot whose podcast we were doing.

[Noel]

Nick Kroll. I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich.

[Ben]

So let's, let's, let's see how it goes.

[Noel]

Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Christopher Haciotes]

At 19, Elena Sada believed she had found her calling. In the new season of Sacred Scandal, we pull back the curtain on a life built on devotion and deception. A man of God, Marcial Maciel, looked Elena in the eye and promised her a life of purpose within the Legion of Christ.

[Noel]

My name is Elena Sada, and this is my story is the story of how I learned to hide, to cry, to survive, and eventually how I got out.

[Christopher Haciotes]

This season on Sacred Scandal, hear the full story from the woman who lived it. Witness the journey from devout follower to determined survivor as Helena exposes the man behind the cloth and the system that protected him. Even the darkest secrets eventually find their way to the light. Listen to Sacred Scandal, the many secrets of Martial Maciel as part of the Mikeultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben]

There's a vile sickness in Abbas Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out. The village is ravaged. Entire families have been consumed.

[Noel]

You know how waking up from a.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Dream, a familiar place can look completely alien.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Get back, everyone.

[Ben]

And if you see the devil walking around inside of another man, you must cut out the very heart of him, burn his body, and scatter the ashes in the furthest corner of this town. As a warning from iHeart podcasts and grim and mild from Aaron Manke, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Devil walks in Abbostown. So we've talked about an amazing ship. We've talked about some. Some, I would say very innovative bullets. Both of those things on the offset seem like they are worth investigating, right? I'd like to give you one that I'm on the fence about, especially because in my past life hosting car stuff, I learned to love ridiculous vehicles. Have you ever looked at a Jeep and thought, I would get one of these if it was also a helicopter? Because if you have been thinking about this, I want to introduce everyone to the Hafner Roto Buggy. It is a British experimental aircraft that looks kind of doofy.

[Christopher Haciotes]

It looks like exactly what you said. It looks like a helicopter truck, a jeep, a copter.

[Noel]

Yeah, there you go.

[Ben]

And what's ridiculous to me is there's having the. The rotors and the wheels. It's sort of transit wise, it's kind of like wearing a pair of suspenders and a belt. So the Roto Buggy came about as. As a solution to the problem of airdropping off road vehicles. And a guy named Raoul Hafner of the Airborne Forces Experimental Establishment created this after they had an earlier invention that had some success, which was the Rota Chute. They took this rotor thing and ran with it. It was an experimental one person kite rotor thing.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Wow. So it's kind of like a helicopter that you sit on that is sort of like a Segway with blades. It just seems. That seems dangerous.

[Noel]

It looks like a wind sock or something like that. It's hovering behind this. Like. Is it tethered to that truck, Ben?

[Ben]

It is tethered. They would probably be picking up speed and then the air would catch here. It's a kite, essentially, with a.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So it's like a giant. It's like a giant kite or like a big rudder that flies behind your back, but also you have helicopter blades on your head.

[Ben]

I think the emphasis was to look whimsical in this, but it enjoyed some, as you said, some success, which led to the creation of the Roto Buggy. I think similar to the way you feel about rocket bullets, Noel. I think I just like saying Rotabuggy.

[Noel]

Rotabuggy's fun. But, Ben, do you think they were trying to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies with whimsy?

[Ben]

I think they were trying to strike whimsy into their heart of their enemies, yeah. So here's the crazy thing. It's so unaerodynamic. It looks so poorly designed because Jeeps and helicopters have two very different ways of transporting people and two very different footprints, design wise. But their initial tests were pretty promising because they weren't testing it stem to stern, soup to nuts, an entire operation. They were testing aspects of an operation. They started by dropping it from around 8ft or so, and then they say, okay, well, it can just drop 8ft, it'll be fine. And things didn't really go wrong until November 1943, when they tried to tow it to get enough speed to get the Roto Buggy into the air. It didn't work the first time on the 16th of November, and it wasn't till the 27th of November that they got a Bentley Auto and this unwieldy machine was able to become airborne and it reached gliding speeds of 45 miles an hour, which is surprisingly good for.

[Christopher Haciotes]

You know, for a totally not aerodynamic.

[Ben]

Object, a Jeep with a Helicopter butt.

[Noel]

Yeah, yeah. But okay, so when did it all go south, Ben? When did it all go south?

[Ben]

So would you believe me if I told you in the parking lot at our office now? I'm kidding. I wish I could take us on a roto buggy ride. It went severely south. As they continued testing, there were huge problems with vibration speed and instability, and they kept improving it. 1944, they got it to a flight speed of 70 miles an hour, or 113 kilometers. And the last flight in September of 1944, it broke a record for itself. It was able to fly for 10 minutes, and it was described as highly satisfactory. And the thing is that the British army probably would have continued trying to make rota buggies if it were not for the introduction of large gliders that could carry vehicles. So gliders, like the Airspeed horsa, which are just. They look like planes, but they're gliders. These things, if you see the picture, can carry vehicles.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So it's the kind of situation where whoever came up with the roto buggy solved a problem pretty well, but as they were doing that, someone else is working on the same problem and just totally surpasses them.

[Ben]

It's the laserdisc conundrum.

[Noel]

Yeah, I mean, but can't you just drive a Jeep out of the back of an airplane and have a Jeep parachute, like in Fast and the Furious?

[Ben]

One would think. I guess what they were grappling with was a failure of material science at the time, too, because then you would have to build a fabric strong enough and resilient enough not to just break.

[Noel]

That's true.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And maybe this jeepacopter could then speed up and take off again and return. So let's say you were attacking a little island. You could drop them all off, they could come back, you could have a Jeep, a copter for a while.

[Noel]

That does sound like fun.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, Take a Jeep, a copter ride. See the Grand Canyon, see the world. It sounds like a nice whimsical holiday thing.

[Noel]

I would just prefer, though, if the blades folded up in a really cool way with a sound effect.

[Christopher Haciotes]

But you're talking about Transformers.

[Noel]

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

[Ben]

I know a lot of flying cars do that now, or flying car prototypes. This was a.

[Noel]

Wait a minute. We have flying cars.

[Christopher Haciotes]

What do you know that we don't?

[Ben]

We have flying car prototypes, as in like, one to two copies of something like Terrafugia.

[Noel]

I was like, finally, it's the future.

[Ben]

It's weird. So we're all good. Friends with. With our pal Scott Benjamin, who's a wonderful, brilliant, erudite man, but he hates flying cars. And for the better part of the last six years, he and I have been very beefed up about this. Look, I get that they're dangerous. I understand that. I get that it would be disastrous to have flying cars, but I don't want everyone to have flying cars. I just want one. Because as long as there's only one, things are gonna be relatively fine. You guys are cool. Would you guys want one? I think we can. Could get the number up to four without. We just wouldn't.

[Noel]

Well, there's a whole conundrum that goes into flying cars. I mean, you ever heard of airplanes? We have to have a whole system of air traffic controllers and, you know, coordinated takeoffs and landings. If there were flying cars just willy nilly, there'd be a lot of air midair collisions, I think.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, but we figured it out, right? I mean, I imagine there's a podcast from the late 1800s on whatever format they podcasted in back then. So saying, would you have an automobile, A horseless carriage? We have horses. You know what would happen if you had 10 people in a town with a car? That would be madness.

[Noel]

I think they just etched podcasts right into wax cylinders.

[Ben]

Yes, absolutely. So there we are. Road. A buggy. I like it. If you are roadbugged that you have missed this period in history, do not despair. The last thing I'll say about it is you can go to a town with an amazing name. You're gonna love this name. Middle wallop. And in Middle Wallop, there is a museum of army flying that has a replica of a rota buggy as well as a rota tank, which is the.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Same thing, but a tank that seems like you would need much bigger blades to keep a tank aloft.

[Ben]

Yeah, it was a weird idea.

[Christopher Haciotes]

But this is the kind of thing where if. If any ridiculous historians are listening at home and you're enjoying this show with your, who knows, you know, your daughters, your sons. You could make a little toy rotabuggy. You know, just. Just go buy a toy helicopter, snap off the blades.

[Noel]

That's called a transformer.

[Christopher Haciotes]

No, no, no. I'm taking. Buy two things, glue them together, make your own toys, have a little roto buggy warfare thing going on at home.

[Noel]

Toy mashup.

[Ben]

I like it. Yeah. So what's next, Christopher?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, I started off with some wildly propulsive cannons, and that is where we are headed again, but this time we're staying stateside we're not going to Russia. We're in the United States. Well, let me correct that. We're in the Confederate States of America.

[Ben]

Oh boy.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Or in the lead up to what would become that. You've already seen a double barreled cannon.

[Ben]

I feel as if I can picture it in my mind.

[Noel]

It popped right in when you said the words.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, double barreled cannon. Right. You've got think of a shotgun. Double barreled shotgun.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Shoots out twice as much shot.

[Noel]

But can't you unload it one barrel at a time as well?

[Christopher Haciotes]

You can.

[Noel]

Yeah, because there's like a little compound trigger, right?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, but you don't want to do that with a double barreled cannon.

[Noel]

Well, I was wondering.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, so the double barrel cannon we're going to talk about is from the American Civil War, but it's not a purely American invention. The idea of this goes back to 1642, so Renaissance Italy, Florence in particular. And there was an inventor named Antonio Petrini who came up with the idea of a double barrel cannon. It was put into action though in 1862 by a man named John Gilliland. Now, Galiland was a mechanic and dentist living in Athens, Georgia.

[Ben]

Okay. Oh, all right.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. Not too far from where we are. We're here in Atlanta. Recording. So about an hour and a half up the road, Galiland said, I'm gonna take two cannons, put them together in one sort of one molded entity. They've got two side by side bores in a three inch diameter. And you've got these two six pound balls next to one another. But that's not it. You've also got a 10 foot chain connecting the two balls.

[Ben]

I have heard of this.

[Noel]

Okay, that sounds dangerous.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, you know, think of the. What are they called?

[Ben]

Bolos.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, bolos. That gauchos in South America use to capture birds or horses or whatever. So you've got these two balls connected by a chain propelled from a cannon. Think of the destruction possible. These spinning balls of death. A chain in between them. It's just gonna tear through the Union soldiers. Right. Just cut you right in half.

[Ben]

You would think one would imagine. Yeah, you'd think, you'd think.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So that's not quite what happened. Now, Galiland was passionate about this idea. He actually put out a subscription service to raise funds to develop the prototype. He raised about $350. I don't know if those were Confederate or Union dollars. And he built it, he tested it, and reports from the time say they blasted the cannon. Two balls, a chain it tore through a cornfield, it knocked down a chimney, it killed a cow. But it was just so wild and uncontrollable that the Confederate army said, no, no, no, this is ridiculous. We do not want this.

[Ben]

In terms of accuracy.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, you would have to fire both cannons simultaneously because they're sitting parallel to one another but slightly splayed. A slight degree of difference in the direction in which they propel the ball. And that's so that the two cannonballs that sit next to one another when they fly out of the cannon will spread out and kind of pull the chain between them. Okay, but getting that exactly right, with 1860s technology, you can't be that precise. And so what happens is even a split second of timing difference in firing one or the other side of the cannon, or a little bit of wind or a little bit of, who knows, some material in the barrel will just send one ball slightly faster than the other. And all of a sudden you get something that's sort of rip. Sawing through the terrain, going in completely the wrong direction. Now that could be destructive. It tore down some trees. But yeah, it's just too risky to bring into warfare.

[Noel]

I got a good idea.

[Christopher Haciotes]

What's your idea? Bigger cannons, Bigger balls. Bigger balls, longer chains?

[Noel]

Well, no, not even just one. Just one barrel.

[Christopher Haciotes]

One barrel bigger. So a big.

[Noel]

Big cannons, Big cannons. Yep.

[Ben]

That's interesting because I heard about the ball and chain stuff before, but I always thought. To your point, Noel? I always thought that it was a situation where there was a single cannon and they loaded the balls sort of atop each other with the chain hanging out and then shot it out that way.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, that seems like that would make more sense than having two sources of propulsion.

[Ben]

Let's double. Did anybody try like a triple barreled cannon?

[Christopher Haciotes]

I think they have that at Burger King, right?

[Ben]

They do. It comes with cheese.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yes. There's a special sauce, but yeah. So this cannon, it was just a total failure. But Galiland believed so passionately in his invention, he kept trying to make the case to the Confederate army. The cannon was shipped from Athens, Georgia to Augusta, where it was put into more testing because he really, really thought it would work. Ultimately. No, no, no is what the Confederates said. It was sent back to Athens. It was used in battle, but just as a signal. So kind of a warning shot to let the Confederates know that the US Troops were arriving. So, you know, as. As cannons are used. And you can see that cannon today, it still sits in Athens, Georgia. It was sold by the city for a while. Luckily was not scrapped or anything. And the city bought it again. And it now sits atop a hill in Athens, Georgia, right next to City Hall. There's a little plaque. You can kind of go look at it and say, that's weird.

[Ben]

Have you seen it?

[Christopher Haciotes]

I have seen it. Yeah.

[Noel]

See, I used to live in Athens and this was all ringing a bell when you were talking about it. And I feel like I've seen it before.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, it's at the corner of College Avenue and what not. West Washington, I think. Corner of Clayton Street, I think.

[Noel]

That's right.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. And it's on the northeastern corner, pointed straight up at the Yankees.

[Ben]

Oh, wow.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Not that it's a threat or anything. It doesn't work and it never worked. But, you know, might as well.

[Ben]

Might as well have the impotent rage represented in a statue. Oh, man, that's a good one, Christopher. Yeah, that's a great one.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. If you guys want to take a field trip, we'll just hop on over to Athens.

[Ben]

Let's go.

[Noel]

I'm all about. I haven't been back in too long.

[Christopher Haciotes]

It's a good place.

[Noel]

All I know is what I've been told.

[Ben]

And that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Noel]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict Sam six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[Ben]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer. And I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[Noel]

I did not know her and I.

[Ben]

Did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said.

[Christopher Haciotes]

They literally made me say that I.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Took a match and struck and threw it on her.

[Christopher Haciotes]

They made me say that I poured.

[Noel]

Gas on her.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

From lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[Christopher Haciotes]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[Noel]

Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Listen to Graves county in the Boneville Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season at Free, subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben]

Hey, it's Ed Helms.

[Noel]

And welcome back to snafu, my podcast.

[Ben]

About history's greatest screw ups.

[Noel]

On our new circuit season, we're bringing you a new snafu. Every single episode.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

32 lost nuclear weapons.

[Christopher Haciotes]

You're like, wait, stop.

[Noel]

What?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s basketball player who still wore knee pads.

[Noel]

Yes. It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and.

[Christopher Haciotes]

A whole lot of guests.

[Noel]

The great Paul Scheer made me feel good.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I'm like, oh, wow.

[Noel]

Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched you're here.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

What was that like for you to soft launch into the show?

[Noel]

Sorry, Jenna.

[Ben]

I'll be asking the questions today.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

I forgot whose podcast we were doing.

[Noel]

Nick Kroll. I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich.

[Ben]

So let's, let's, let's see how it goes.

[Noel]

Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Christopher Haciotes]

At 19, Elena Sada believed she had found her calling. In the new season of Sacred Scandal, we pull back the curtain on a life built on devotion and deception. A man of God, Martial Maciel, looked Elena in the eye and promised her a life of purpose within the Legion of Christ.

[Noel]

My name is Elena Sada, and this.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Is my stock story. It's the story of how I learned.

[Noel]

To hide, to cry, to survive, and eventually how I got out.

[Christopher Haciotes]

This season on Sacred Scandal, hear the full story from the woman who lived it. Witness the journey from devout follower to determined survivor as Helena exposes the man behind the cloth and the system that protected him. Even the darkest secrets eventually find their way to the light. Listen to Sacred Scandal, the mini secrets of Martial Maciel as part of the My Kultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben]

There's a vile sickness in Abbas Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out. The village is ravaged. Entire families have been consumed.

[Noel]

You know how waking up from a.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Dream, a familiar place can look completely alien.

[Noel]

Get back, everyone.

[Ben]

And if you see the devil walking around inside of another man, you must cut out the very heart of him, burn his body and scatter the ashes in the furthest corner of this town. As a warning from iHeart podcasts and grim and mild from Aaron Mankind, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The devil walks in Abbostown.

[Noel]

All right, well, I. I guess I'm gonna stick with kind of retro, futuristic kind of ones.

[Ben]

Cool.

[Noel]

This one is. I'm just gonn it. The hoverboard. Heard of it?

[Ben]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Noel]

Yeah. Turns out it was real.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So I feel like a lot of what we're talking about, or at least what you guys are talking about, could come straight out of the Back to the Future movies. You've got the flying cars, you've got a hoverboard rocket, bullets.

[Noel]

Yeah, okay, It's. A hoverboard's a bit of a misnomer. It's really more like a helicopter platform. Okay, so this is something that was designed by the Hiller Company for the US Navy. Originally it was called the VZ1 Pawnee, and it's basically a disc with fans underneath it. And it used something called rotor duct technology. So here's the interesting part about it. It also used something called kinesthetic control. Can you guys guess what that is?

[Ben]

Controlling by moving your body.

[Noel]

That's right. Which is why I think of the hoverboard. So, yeah, literally a person manning one of these things, or piloting one of these things rather, would be standing atop the strange little disc in kind of like a cage with no controls except for a throttle. So all they had control over was altitude. With an actual device to navigate, they have to lean to the left, lean to the right, lean forward, lean backward. And so it's almost like a segue in that respect. So they definitely tested these. They had a prototype which was much smaller than the second one. They kind of made the whole thing a little bigger, added a little bit more stability. And then the third one is massive. And it was so massive that it wouldn't even allow you to do the kinesthetic controls because it was just so unwieldy.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Unless you had like a group of guys standing on top and say, run to the left, run to the right.

[Noel]

Exactly. Now come back center, go. No. So they added a seat into this one and more traditional helicopter type controls. So there were actually some steering capabilities on this third one. So this was in 1953. The U.S. navy's Office of Naval Research essentially gave this company, Hiller Helicopters, a contract to develop one of these. It was a twin engined ducted fan vtol, which I think we all agree stands for vertical takeoff and landing Better. Yeah.

[Ben]

No Runway required.

[Noel]

No Runway required. That's the one positive thing about this device.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, also, I imagine it inspired a lot of Mega man villains. To me, it sounds like the kind of thing that's like, right out of a 1980s video game. Just like bad guys on flying platforms shooting at you.

[Noel]

Exactly. Unfortunately, these things were very slow, and they couldn't really figure out, like, any kind of real practical use for it in battle. There is, in fact, a video, though, I'd like to play a clip from, of one of the first flight tests of this thing. Phil, this is quite a machine you have here. I suppose you've come as close as anyone to operating a flying carpet. How. How does it feel? Well, it feels fine. And the nice thing about it is.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Very easy to fly. What do you think, Phil, is the.

[Noel]

Truly revolutionary characteristic of this machine? Well, I mentioned earlier it was so easy to fly. We do it by shifting our weight.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Is the way we control the aircraft.

[Noel]

I say by that you mean you don't have any mechanical controls as we normally think of them in an airplane, such as a stick and a rudder?

[Christopher Haciotes]

No, we have the throttle, which all.

[Noel]

Aircraft have, but we control it by shifting our weight using our feet, et cetera.

[Ben]

That's about all.

[Noel]

So, yeah, again, he even says the interviewer, like, I guess, because as close as anyone's come to flying carpet, it's all about the future, you know, it's all about magic and technology. It's great. But, yeah, they don't go very high. They seem a little. The guy keeps talking about how easy it is to fly, but it just doesn't seem like you could really get it to go forward very quickly at all or be very precise in your movements on it, you know?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. And it seems like the kind of thing where if, as you're training people to use it, you would just break a lot of them. And I also wonder what the point of it is. I mean, if it doesn't go that high, it can't be used for reconnaissance. If it moves as you move, you probably can't use, like, a heavy rifle because then you might, you know, throw yourself off and it'll be like you're a round ship. Yeah, exactly. You could even sneeze.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And just crash.

[Ben]

So maybe it's more of a proof of concept, because one would imagine there. Surely there would be ways to. To mitigate those issues. Even just fixing one of those issues would make it a more worthwhile investment by a military.

[Noel]

That's right. And of course, they did take them out of Commission entirely by 1963. But it did offer some pretty Valuable information, research wise, for technology they would later use for more practical vertical takeoff and landing planes, which are a thing. I thought that was kind of cool.

[Ben]

I agree.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, it's the kind of thing that reminds me, too, of technology, you know, supposedly coming from Project Blue Book and that investigation into alien technology in Area 51. This weird flying saucer stuff, it kind of makes me think of that. And I know it's not real, but.

[Ben]

Oh, I wish I had done that.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Maybe it could be.

[Ben]

I was having such a tough time off the air preparing for this episode because there's an extensive list of ridiculous experiments, but also very promising, somewhat space age stuff that militaries have gotten up to in secret. And I wanted to find one of the dumbest ideas, not one that has some promise, not one that's innovative. Let's try something new. The dumbest idea, the dumbest idea that I found is the ball tank.

[Christopher Haciotes]

The ball tank?

[Ben]

The ball tank.

[Noel]

Tell me more.

[Ben]

We are a family show. It's a tank. It's been known alternately as the Kugelpanzer or the Tumbleweed tank. The thing about this is we'll start with one story. We'll start with the Tumbleweed tank. There's an inventor in Texas, his name is A.J. richardson. And in 1936, he says the First World War, which they just called the World War at that time.

[Christopher Haciotes]

The war, yeah.

[Ben]

Can you imagine calling that war the First World War? Back then? He said it was. Well, he was haunted, frankly, by the sheer mass of human suffering and carnage and death that occurred. And in his estimation, one of the reasons so many people died in World War I was because of trench warfare. People couldn't aim very well. They could just blindly throw mortars toward the enemy's trench and hope they hit someone who's a soldier rather than a civilian, rather than medical personnel and all this other stuff. So he said the best idea would be to send heavily armored motorized bunkers across that no man's land, that kill zone between the trenches. Because, again, just want to emphasize this, this will be important later. He thought the main problem was that you couldn't really see who you were firing at. And so he decided that he would invent this thing called the Tumbleweed tank. It is a sphere. It has room for three people. Each of the three people are manning one gun. I would like to show you gentlemen a picture of this design. I want you to get a look at it. Because the guns you see, the guns you see have a lot of random.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Placement that's just not gonna work.

[Ben]

There's one pointing toward the air, there's one pointing toward the ground. And then there's one just out there on the right. And the one on the right can swivel. By the way, is this sort of.

[Noel]

Like those cars in the newer Jurassic park movies?

[Ben]

I guess it is, yeah. Yeah. Cause those are two seaters.

[Noel]

Those are two seater.

[Ben]

So this one is an uncomfortable three seater. And just from that initial picture you guys saw the tumbleweed tank has some problems.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, this is the kind of thing that should just be drawn and then immediately torn up.

[Ben]

It should be a huge.

[Noel]

How is it going to roll if there's random guns poking out every which way?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Do they collapse?

[Ben]

It has a ring. It is propelled by.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Oh, so it only goes forward and back. It doesn't roll in like, like not even 360 degrees, but the entire spherical gyroscopic motion, it just goes straight back and forward.

[Ben]

Let me correct myself in the diagram. From what we understand, the actual sphere wherein the soldiers are located, that is enclosed within two rotating outer shells that are each like bowls around the thing. So it can turn a little bit. Bit in theory.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So it's sort of like a deadly gerbil ball kind of hamster mechanism with guns.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And men.

[Ben]

And it had some, it had some good points. It could be very easily sealed against poison gas attacks. And Richardson also thought it would present a much smaller target for enemy shells and that they would glance off of the curved sides. But remember how we mentioned the part where his primary beef with World War I was that people were just blindly throwing.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah. You couldn't see people. So this was his way around that somehow.

[Ben]

So the guys sealed inside this tank, Christopher, frantically firing guns in all directions, could not see outside. They had no idea what was going on. So.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So it would maybe work if you could somehow catapult one of these balls into the middle of your enemy and just shoot in willy nilly directions. This just sounds like a terrible, terrible idea.

[Ben]

I mean imagine. Yeah, terrible is the right word. Imagine how terrifying this is for the operators. They can't see outside. How terrifying it is for the enemy. What the hell is that? Are they even aiming for us? How terrifying it is for nearby troops who are like, hey, whoa, whoa, I'm on your side.

[Christopher Haciotes]

The only way I could imagine this would be worse is if instead of a trap they all had to run inside to make it going. You know, like those big kind of translucent plastic balls you see on America's Funniest Home Videos or whatever.

[Ben]

Yeah, Zorbing that's what?

[Christopher Haciotes]

What?

[Ben]

Zorbing. Z O R B.

[Christopher Haciotes]

What are you saying to me?

[Noel]

Is that like furries?

[Ben]

Zorbing. Z O R B I N G.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So like a furby.

[Ben]

It's where you get inside that giant plastic ball.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Zorbing.

[Ben]

Zorbing.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Is that an acronym?

[Noel]

And then they fight. Yeah, they fight.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, they've. They've fought. I don't know if it's. I don't know if it's an acronym. I know it's. It's meant to cite the fact that you're rolling downhill in an orb.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So like maybe zero gravity or.

[Noel]

No, I think there's. I think there's proper gravity.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

Well, neither here.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Rolling ball.

[Noel]

I've also seen them on water.

[Ben]

Yes. Yeah.

[Noel]

You can get inside those on, on water and just roll them around.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Aquazorb.

[Noel]

Aquazorbing. But I highlight that.

[Ben]

But you can see through that. Those. Which I think is key here.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So Aquazorbing, Rotocopter, battle rocket ship. Bullet failure. Disaster, War. That's what we're talking here, right?

[Ben]

That's what we're talking. Oh, there's one other point. We do know that there was at least one other group of people who thought this ball tank idea was just the top notch military concept of the time. It was Germany. We know that during the, During World War II, Germany designed that Kugelpanzer, the ball tank. And we don't know what they meant to do with it. We don't know how often it was used. Clearly not that much. But we haven't found any plans or documents about it. Only one survived the war. It was captured in Manchuria in 1945. You can go see it in the Kubinka Museum's collection of German vehicles. It was apparently used by some unfortunate German. And the Germans in their part did include a small visor or a small slit so the operator could see what they were rolling.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Well, that's nice. That's thoughtful.

[Ben]

Yeah. They learned from the tumbleweed tank and.

[Christopher Haciotes]

That'S what they learned, is just let them look outside. It feels like there's a lot more lessons to be learned from the ball tank.

[Ben]

This was such a cool idea for an episode. Thank you for bringing this to us.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Absolutely.

[Noel]

Yeah. Always a pleasure to have you in the studio and kind of kick the ball tank around.

[Ben]

Oh, nice. I like that.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Speaking of kicking, if any ridiculous historians want to kick it with me over on another show this week, you guys okay if I plug something?

[Ben]

Oh, please, plug away.

[Christopher Haciotes]

So ridiculous historians. If you're Listening to this show, I know you like learning about stuff in the way back. So point your podcast machines over to this day in history class. It's one of our sister podcasts here on the HowStuff Works network. It's a daily history show. Just really quick five minute tidbits of one thing that happened that day in history. Now, normally the host is Tracy V. Wilson, who you probably know from Stuff youf Missed in History Class. She's out this week. So the week that you are listening to this in your podcast machine, I'm gonna be guest hosting over on this day in history class. So head over that way and you can find all sorts of cool, weird things that happen every single day of the year, day by day.

[Ben]

Awesome. Congratulations. And we are definitely going to check it out. We can also go ahead and maybe post a link to that on Ridiculous Historians.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Yeah, we'll share that on the Facebook page. Ridiculous Historians. We'll point you in that direction. It's a great show. I'm only on it for a week, but you should definitely take a listen. It'll be going through some cool changes in the coming year too. I think we're going to be getting a little more creative, but still a daily podcast kind of updating you just on the things you need to know about what's happened in the past and how that affects our days today.

[Ben]

Awesome. And thank you so much for coming on the show. This is going to be one of a number of recurring appearances.

[Noel]

Yeah, we're gonna make this a regular thing.

[Christopher Haciotes]

I'll be around.

[Noel]

Fantastic. Well, let's, as always, thank our super producer, Casey Pegram. I think we've already thanked Christopher enough and I'm gonna do it one more time for the full measure. Thank you, Christopher.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Zor. Zorb.

[Noel]

Zorb.

[Ben]

Zorb. Zorba. Are you going by Zorb now?

[Christopher Haciotes]

Do I have a choice?

[Noel]

Doesn't that sound like an alien overlord character?

[Ben]

There is a Zorba the Great, I think.

[Noel]

Zorba the Great.

[Ben]

Oh, wait. This works out with you, huh?

[Christopher Haciotes]

It does, yeah.

[Noel]

Thanks to you as well, Ben. Hey, thanks to you looking dapper as ever today, sir.

[Ben]

And thanks to Alex Williams, who composed our track. Thank you for checking out the show. We hope that you enjoyed it and we hope that this has kindled a spark of inspiration. Let us know what strange military contraptions or otherwise ridiculous inventions you have run across. We will be all ears. We would love to hear this stuff. And, you know, we're. Of course it should go without saying we're not. We're not really picking on these inventors. A lot of these ideas seem very promising, and the only way you can learn whether or not they're feasible is to test them. You know what I mean? Rocket Bullets sounds like a tremendous idea. It sounds really cool.

[Christopher Haciotes]

And one of my favorite bands and.

[Ben]

One of your favorite bands, Rocket Bullets.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Sure.

[Noel]

If they don't exist yet, they absolutely need to. So please come and hang out with us next time when we talk about flowers as currency or, you know, some sort of like, bitcoin bubble. See you then. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hey, it's Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new Snafu Every single episode.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop. What?

[Noel]

Yeah, it's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky. He went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Noel]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben]

There's a vile sickness in Apostown. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out. From iheart podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. This is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Sacred Scandal is Back, the hit true crime podcast that uncovers hidden truths and shattered faith. For 19 years, Elena Sada was a nun for the Legion of Christ. This season, she's telling her story.

[Noel]

When I first joined the Legion of Christ, I felt chosen.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

I was 19 years old when Marcia.

[Noel]

Almasel, the leader of the Legionaries, looked me in the eye and told me.

[Podcast Advertiser/Announcer]

I had a calling.

[Christopher Haciotes]

Surviving meant hiding. Escaping took courage. Risking everything to tell her truth. Listen to Sacred Scandal, the Many Secrets of Martial Maciel on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben]

This is an iHeart podcast.