Ridiculous History

Episode: CLASSIC: (Some of) History's Dumbest Military Prototypes

Date: October 11, 2025
Hosts: Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown
Guest: Christopher Haciotes

Overview

In this classic episode, Ben and Noel—joined by their friend Christopher Haciotes—delve into military history’s most spectacularly odd and ill-conceived inventions. The theme: how the pursuit of innovation sometimes leads nations down very ridiculous paths, as illustrated by military prototypes that seem more suited to cartoons than the battlefield. The hosts apply their signature banter, poking fun while also marveling at the audacity and, occasionally, the weird sort of logic behind these failed inventions.

Key Discussion Points & Inventions

Why Does Military Innovation Get So Weird?

• Military budgets enable wild ideas: [05:21]
  • The U.S. military alone had a $610 billion budget in 2017—“You have to wonder where all this money goes.” (Ben, 05:23)
• Tech trickle-down: Many civilian technologies were once military innovations.
  • “A lot of things that are common in the civilian world started out as military initiatives for the purposes of waging war.” (Ben, 05:50)
• Pressure to impress bosses: Sometimes, higher-ups demand something flashy, whether or not it makes sense.
  • “Sometimes bosses like to throw out big, wild ideas to justify their existence... but a lot of times it just kind of fizzles.” (Noel, 08:57)

1. The Russian Circular Warships ("Popovkas")

Presented by: Christopher Haciotes
Timestamps: [09:52]–[18:06]

• Inspiration: After defeats in the Black Sea, Russia was banned from building battleships but needed coastal defense. Vice Admiral Popov devised circular, heavily-armored ships (the Novgorod and Vitse Admiral Popov).
• Design: Round, flat, 360-degree ships with giant guns on top and six propellers in back.
• Fatal Flaw: Firing a gun spun the entire ship out of control due to physics and lack of stabilizing design.
  • “Anytime one gun would fire, it would just spin the ship around in a circle.” (Christopher, 12:05)
• Operational Outcome: Despite obvious failings, the ships entered service and "just kind of floated there" for decades before finally being scrapped.
• Memorable Quote: “Honestly, it looks like a toy you would float in a bathtub.” (Christopher, 15:38)
• Notable Moment: Discussion of trying—and failing—to time firing both cannons to avoid spinning.
  • “In theory, if you fired both cannons at precisely the right time, it would stabilize itself, but that seems so, so unlikely.” (Christopher, 17:14)
• Takeaway: Even with the best intentions and some creative ideas (the round hull was thought to add stability), ignoring basic physics doomed the project.

2. Rocket Bullets and the MBA Gyrojet

Presented by: Noel Brown
Timestamps: [18:13]–[26:51]

• The Tech: Self-propelled “rocket bullets” fired from Gyrojet guns—bullets that didn’t use traditional gunpowder but mini-rockets. Invented by Robert Meinhart and Arthur T. Beal.
• Features and Flaws:
  • Needed little gun mechanism—bullets carried their own fuel.
  • Fired slowly at first, picking up speed after leaving the barrel — making them ineffective at close range.
    • “People would joke you could stop it with your hand… might break some bones, but wouldn’t penetrate.” (Noel, 20:03)
  • Used “spin stabilization” via drilled holes to keep the bullet flying straight—but unpredictable fuel burn made accuracy dubious.
  • Manufacturing was costly due to complex bullet design.
• Cultural Note: Used in the James Bond film You Only Live Twice for their “spy tech” appeal.
• Outcome: Brief military interest; commercial flop; the company pivoted to non-lethal rounds and gadgets.
• Memorable Imagery: “I’m just picturing a cute little mouse holding one of these on its shoulder, launching rockets at cats.” (Christopher, 25:52)
• Lesson: Sometimes, technological solutions solve problems that didn’t really exist (“a very roundabout way of doing something that was already done pretty well”).

3. The Hafner Rotabuggy (The Flying Jeep)

Presented by: Ben Bowlin
Timestamps: [32:11]–[41:22]

• Concept: Combine a Jeep with helicopter rotors—“If you ever looked at a Jeep and thought, ‘I would get one of these if it was also a helicopter’…”
• Origin: UK WWII effort to create a vehicle that could be airdropped and instantly operational.
• How it Worked: Fitted WW2-era Jeeps with rotors, making them look comically awkward (“wearing suspenders and a belt” (Ben, 33:43)).
• Testing: Initial drops from small heights were successful—full-scale flight… not so much.
• Biggest Problem: Unstable, prone to dangerous vibrations, unaerodynamic. Tests topped out around 10 minutes of air time [37:46].
• Obsolescence: Displaced by more practical gliders that could carry full vehicles (e.g., Horsa glider).
• Trivia: A replica is displayed at the Museum of Army Flying in Middle Wallop, UK.
• Quote: “It looks like a child’s transformer. I think we could get the number of flying cars up to four without chaos…” (Ben, 39:04; 39:42)
• Takeaway: Seemingly whimsical solutions can be overtaken by more practical technology before they’re even ready.

4. The Double-Barreled Chain Cannon (Civil War Era)

Presented by: Christopher Haciotes
Timestamps: [41:22]–[47:12]

• Inventor: John Gilliland of Athens, GA, based on even older Renaissance Italian ideas [1642].
• How it Worked: Two cannon barrels fused together, firing cannonballs connected by a 10-foot chain, the goal being to mow down swathes of enemy troops.
  • “It was just so wild and uncontrollable that the Confederate army said, ‘No, no, no. This is ridiculous. We do not want this.’” (Christopher, 44:04)
• What Went Wrong: Impossible to get simultaneous, precise firing with 1860s tech; often sent the ammo flying in wild, dangerous arcs.
• Real-World Use: Only served as a signal cannon after being deemed too hazardous for battle.
• Physical Legacy: Can still be seen outside Athens City Hall, GA—“pointed straight up at the Yankees.” (Christopher, 46:51)
• Memorable Banter:
  • “Let’s double… Did anybody try like a triple-barreled cannon?” (Ben, 45:35)
  • “I think they have that at Burger King, right?” (Christopher, 45:39)
• Lesson: The temptation to “double” a solution can multiply the problems.

5. Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee — The "Hoverboard" Platform

Presented by: Noel Brown
Timestamps: [52:11]–[56:51]

• Design: Disk-shaped machine with ducted fans allowing a single person to “hover” by leaning in the intended direction (kinesthetic control).
  • “No controls except for a throttle…. Like a Segway in that respect.” (Noel, 53:05)
• Development: Multiple models increased in size but lost stability and became unwieldy; the largest had to include a seat and traditional controls.
• Testing: “Phil… I suppose you’ve come as close as anyone to operating a flying carpet…” (test flight reporter, [54:38])
• Performance: Never very fast or agile; never adopted due to lack of clear battlefield advantage.
• Legacy: Provided valuable VTOL (vertical takeoff and landing) insight for future tech; inspired countless sci-fi and videogame villain designs.
• Banter: “If it moves as you move, you probably can’t use a heavy rifle because then you might throw yourself off—like your round ship.” (Christopher, 56:10)

6. The Ball Tank (Kugelpanzer / “Tumbleweed Tank”)

Presented by: Ben Bowlin
Timestamps: [58:03]–[64:51]

• Original Idea: Invented by Texan A.J. Richardson in 1936, inspired by the desire to reduce no-man’s-land chaos in WWI.
• Design: Three men sealed inside an armored sphere, each with a gun; propelled forward/backward by rotating shells.
• Practical Realities:
  • “The guys sealed inside...could not see outside. They had no idea what was going on.” (Ben, 62:04)
  • Guns poked out in random directions; limited ability to aim or even steer.
  • Major inspiration for Germany’s WW2-era Kugelpanzer.
• Physical Remnant: Only one Kugelpanzer survived—a museum piece in Russia.
  • “At least the Germans included a small visor so the operator could see…” (Ben, 64:38)
• Banter: “I could only imagine this would be worse if instead of a trap they all had to run inside to make it go like those giant translucent plastic balls… Zorbing?” (Christopher, 62:34)
• Lesson: Sometimes attempts to “solve” the wrong battlefield problem create even more confusion (for everyone—operator, friends, and enemies alike).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “That's just not gonna work.” (Christopher, 60:02) — on the Ball Tank design.
• “If they don't exist yet, they absolutely need to. So please come and hang out with us next time when we talk about flowers as currency or some sort of bitcoin bubble!” (Noel, 67:51) — tongue-in-cheek tease for next episode.
• “The only way you can learn whether or not they're feasible is to test them. You know what I mean? Rocket Bullets sounds like a tremendous idea. It sounds really cool.” (Ben, 67:39)

Timestamps for Segment Highlights

• [05:21] — U.S. military budgets & innovation
• [09:52] — Popovka (Russian round ship) story begins
• [18:13] — Rocket Bullets & the Gyrojet
• [32:11] — Hafner Rotabuggy (flying Jeep)
• [41:22] — Double-Barreled Cannon (Athens, GA)
• [52:11] — Hiller VZ-1 "Hoverboard"
• [58:03] — The Ball Tank (Kugelpanzer)

Tone & Style

The tone is playfully skeptical, with irreverent banter and plenty of dad-joke energy. Hosts and guest balance comedy with nerdy fascination, indulging in history’s oddities while still showing respect for the wild ambition that led to these failures.

Conclusion

Military history is littered with ill-fated but often ingenious prototypes. These ideas were born from a mix of desperation, imagination, and that eternal capacity to overcomplicate simple problems. Some left physical remnants viewable today, others live on as cautionary tales or cult curiosities. As Ben summarizes, “We’re not really picking on these inventors…A lot of these ideas seemed very promising, and the only way you can learn whether or not they're feasible is to test them.”

Have your own nominees for ridiculous military inventions? The hosts would love to hear them.

Guest Plug:
Catch Christopher Haciotes hosting "This Day in History Class" podcast, and keep up with links on the Ridiculous Historians Facebook page! [65:10]

End of Summary