Ridiculous History: CLASSIC - The Ridiculous Story of the World’s First (Documented) Serial Killer

Hosts: Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown
Guest: Super Producer Paul Decent
Release Date: July 12, 2025
Podcast: Ridiculous History by iHeartRadio

Introduction: Unveiling History's Dark Corners

In this classic episode of Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown delve into the murky waters of ancient Rome to uncover the tale of what may be the world’s first documented serial killer. Joined by their guest, super producer Paul Decent, the trio navigates through legends, historical accounts, and the enigmas surrounding a woman known as Locusta of Gaul.

Defining the First Serial Killer

Ben [05:41]:
"We're looking at real life monsters."

Ben sets the stage by questioning the fascination society holds towards serial killers, particularly in the United States. He muses on the cultural obsession and the psychological implications of why such figures captivate the public's imagination.

Noel [06:33]:
"Why is it so fascinating? My theory is that it makes us feel better about ourselves. It makes us be like, well, at least I'm not that crazy."

Noel explores the idea that serial killers might serve as a dark mirror, reflecting our own fears and moral boundaries.

Introducing Locusta of Gaul

The conversation shifts to Locusta of Gaul, a figure shrouded in historical ambiguity yet often cited as possibly the first serial killer on record. Unlike the more commonly known H.H. Holmes, Locusta's methods were subtle, relying on poison rather than overt violence.

Ben [09:56]:
"She was a poisoner. She wasn't out there, you know, sneaking up behind people and cutting their throats."

Locusta's expertise in various poisons made her both feared and respected in ancient Roman society. Her monikers—Locusta the Poisoner and Locusta the Sorcerer—highlight her dual reputation.

The Poisoning of Emperor Claudius

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Locusta's most infamous act: the poisoning of Emperor Claudius, orchestrated by his ambitious wife, Agrippina the Younger.

Ben [17:31]:
"So she, like, I don't know, how did she exactly circumvent Hallitus?"

Noel [18:07]:
"She bribed the food taster... and then gave the mushrooms to her husband himself because he was a huge mushroom fan."

Agrippina's strategic elimination of Claudius paved the way for her son, Nero, to ascend to the throne. Locusta was entrusted with this high-stakes task, showcasing her pivotal role in Roman power dynamics.

The Poisoning of Britannicus

The plot thickens with the poisoning of Britannicus, Claudius's young son, aimed at eliminating Nero's potential rival.

Noel [22:50]:
"Do you want it to be fast or do you want it to be extended and painful?"

Locusta presents Nero with a chilling choice, reflecting the calculated cruelty behind her actions. The successful poisoning of Britannicus further cemented her reputation and solidified Nero's position as emperor.

Locusta's Rise and Reign of Impunity

With Nero's rise to power, Locusta enjoyed unprecedented freedom and status, even establishing a "poisoning school" to train others in the dark arts of assassination.

Ben [29:00]:
"Imperial Poisoner. Nero even sets up a poisoning school."

Her operations were systematic and clinical, blurring the lines between criminality and service to the emperor. Locusta operated above the law, a position that both empowered and isolated her within Roman society.

The Demise of Locusta: History vs. Legend

The episode delves into the uncertain circumstances surrounding Locusta's death, contrasting historical accounts with legends.

Ben [34:05]:
"And with that her prospects weren't looking so good because she was very much tied to this notion of Nero."

Historical records suggest that after Nero's fall, his subsequent successor, Emperor Galba, executed Locusta, marking the end of her notorious career.

However, legends paint a more bizarre picture, attributing her death to gruesome and fantastical methods involving giraffes and wild animals—stories that Ben and Noel dismiss as implausible but highlight the mythical aura surrounding her legacy.

Noel [35:29]:
"She's smeared with vaginal secretions from a giraffe... and then died as a result of the ensuing activity from a male giraffe who was trained to do this thing."

Reflections on Locusta as a Proto-Serial Killer

The hosts contemplate whether Locusta fits the modern definition of a serial killer, noting the functional aspect of her killings, potentially motivated by power and status rather than psychological compulsion.

Noel [37:46]:
"The definition of a serial killer that we use today largely implies some kind of abnormal release... Certainly not just a functional day job kind of situation."

This discussion raises questions about the applicability of contemporary terms to historical figures, emphasizing the complexities of categorizing actions across different societal norms and understandings.

Conclusion: The Legacy of Locusta

Ben and Noel conclude by acknowledging the historical significance of Locusta's actions and their impact on the perception of female perpetrators in history. They ponder the delicate balance between legend and fact, recognizing that while some aspects of Locusta's story may be exaggerated or mythical, her role in ancient Rome remains a testament to the lengths individuals would go for power.

Noel [38:54]:
"The 14-year-old boy poisoning where nobody would help him as he kicked and screamed and convulsed on the floor during a dinner party. That's pretty horrific."

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the darkness of human history, leaving listeners to ponder the real-life monsters that shaped the course of civilizations.

Acknowledgments and Listener Engagement

Towards the end, Ben and Noel engage with listener mail, addressing topics like historical accents and archaic insults, adding a lighter touch after the heavy historical narrative. They emphasize the importance of respectful humor and self-awareness in presenting history's more absurd moments.

Ben [40:32]:
"Whenever we are doing funny voices or accents, we're absolutely not trying to be derogatory at all."

This segment underscores the podcast's commitment to balancing informative content with engaging and respectful presentation.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben at [05:41]:
  "We're looking at real life monsters."

• Noel at [06:33]:
  "Why is it so fascinating? My theory is that it makes us feel better about ourselves."

• Noel at [22:50]:
  "Do you want it to be fast or do you want it to be extended and painful?"

• Noel at [35:29]:
  "She's smeared with vaginal secretions from a giraffe..."

• Noel at [37:46]:
  "The definition of a serial killer that we use today largely implies some kind of abnormal release."

Final Thoughts:

This episode of Ridiculous History masterfully intertwines historical research with engaging storytelling, bringing to light the dark and often overlooked narratives of the past. Through the story of Locusta of Gaul, Ben and Noel not only explore the origins of serial killing but also reflect on the broader implications of power, gender, and morality in history.

For listeners eager to uncover more of history's hidden and heinous tales, this episode serves as a compelling reminder of the complexities that lie beneath the surface of ancient civilizations.