Ridiculous History Episode: CLASSIC: The Smooth-talking Takeover of Tabor Bridge: "Yes And-ing" Your Way To Victory Release Date: June 7, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown delve into an astonishing tale from the Napoleonic Wars, highlighting the clever tactics employed by French marshals Jean Lon and Joaquim Murat to secure victory without firing a single shot. The episode combines historical insight with the hosts' signature humor, making it both informative and entertaining.

Historical Context

[00:50 - 05:06] The episode sets the stage during the Napoleonic Wars (1803-1815), a series of conflicts where Napoleon Bonaparte sought to expand French influence across Europe. Ben introduces the key figures: Jean Lon and Joaquim Murat, two of Napoleon's most celebrated marshals.

Notable Quote:

• Ben (00:50): "This is another war story. This is a war debacle."

The Tabor Bridge Incident

[05:06 - 12:33] The focus narrows to November 13, 1805, near the town of Spitz on the Danube River, where the Tabor Bridge plays a pivotal role. The French marshals aim to cross the bridge into Vienna but face stiff resistance from Austrian forces led by Carl Osberg.

Notable Quote:

• Noel (05:06): "Napoleon had designs on extending that title to as much of the world or the lands that he could get to as humanly possible."

The Characters: Jean Lon and Joaquim Murat

[07:05 - 10:01] Ben provides detailed backgrounds on the marshals:

• Joaquim Murat: Born in 1767, rose from humble beginnings to become the King of Naples, noted for his charm and military prowess.
• Jean Lon: Born in 1769, another esteemed marshal praised by Napoleon for his strategic genius.

Notable Quote:

• Noel (07:05): "Joaquim Murat was born in 1767 and became one of Napoleon's most celebrated marshals."

The Con Strategy: "Yes And-ing" to Victory

[12:33 - 31:20] Jean Lon and Murat devise an unconventional plan to deceive the Austrians:

1. Approach with a White Flag: They calmly walk across the bridge with a small entourage, signaling a truce.
2. Distraction Tactics: As negotiations stall, French troops secretly approach.
3. Handling Suspicion: An Austrian sergeant attempts to sabotage the plan by igniting a fuse to blow up the bridge. Jean Lon swiftly intercepts, diffusing the situation with charm and authority.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben (14:23): "They just kind of sauntered across the bridge, waving this white flag of retreat."
• Noel (20:35): "It's a real cock and bull story."

The Aftermath and Consequences

[31:20 - 35:55] The deceptive tactics lead to the Austrians reconsidering their stance. An Austrian officer arrives, and under the persuasive pressure of the French marshals, Carl Osberg believes the armistice is genuine, resulting in the peaceful transfer of the bridge to French control. However, shortly after, the true intentions of Lon and Murat are revealed, leading to the Austrians' capture.

Notable Quote:

• Ben (34:04): "He handed the bridge over to the marshals. Not a shot was fired."

Consequences:

• Carl Osberg faces court-martial for negligence but is later pardoned.
• The incident underscores the effectiveness of psychological warfare and deception over brute force.

Host Commentary and Humor

Throughout the episode, Ben and Noel infuse their storytelling with humor and modern analogies:

• Comparisons to Pop Culture: Comparing the bridge takeover to Ocean's Eleven and cartoon antics akin to Bugs Bunny.
• Humorous Asides: Joking about Napoleon's height propaganda and the marshals' suave appearances.

Notable Quotes:

• Noel (15:07): "It's got this kind of Ocean's Eleven vibe."
• Ben (23:22): "Picture him just kind of like straddling the cannon, crossing his legs, pulling out his pipe..."

Conclusion

Ben and Noel conclude the episode by reflecting on the ingenuity of Lon and Murat's strategy, praising their improvisational skills and smooth-talking prowess. They encourage listeners to share more unusual war stories and express excitement for future episodes exploring more Napoleonic shenanigans.

Notable Quote:

• Noel (36:43): "Yes. And. Ing their way to victory."

Notable Moments with Timestamps

• [00:00] Ben introduces the concept of smooth-talking and "Yes And-ing."
• [05:06] Introduction to the Napoleonic Wars and key figures.
• [14:23] Explanation of the French marshals' deceptive tactics.
• [20:35] Description of the Austrian sergeant's attempt to sabotage.
• [34:04] Carl Osberg's mistaken transfer of the bridge.
• [36:43] Hosts encapsulate the episode's theme with a clever pun.

Final Thoughts

Ridiculous History delivers a captivating blend of historical facts and comedic storytelling, bringing to life one of Napoleon's lesser-known yet fascinating wartime maneuvers. The episode not only highlights the strategic brilliance of Lon and Murat but also entertains listeners with its engaging narrative and lively banter.

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