
Loading summary
Ben Bullen
Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to the show Ridiculous Historians. Thank you as always so much for tuning in. And that's our own czar of podcasting, super producer Mr. Max Williams.
Noel Brown
Huzzah, Huzzar.
Ben Bullen
Huzzah indeed. I am Ben Bullen, you are Noel Brown. And Noel, this is probably going to be a two part episode. We gotta get into it.
Noel Brown
I think it's gotta be. Dude, this one gets pretty in the.
Ben Bullen
Russo Japanese weeds in the best way ever. Yeah. And we are definitely going to be on our P's and Q's. I am currently stuck in Japan, but luckily this is a story. This is a story where in Japan Spoiler history buffs emerges victorious. So I won't get hassled too much. I think trying to get out of here.
Noel Brown
You're a Japan booster is what you are.
Ben Bullen
There we go. So we are coming to you from around the world, folks. And this is a story brought to us by a research associate, Dr. Z. The man, the myth, the legend about. I love his title here. That one time Japan rinsed Russia.
Noel Brown
Dr. Z is a master phrase turner. I don't know that I've ever heard rinsed used in that way. But if you follow the man on Instagram, he's always posting some stuff with some very clever little aphorisms that are largely of his own making, which I.
Ben Bullen
Obviously totally vibe with that. Here's the.
Noel Brown
Oh yeah, peas in a pod, bro.
Ben Bullen
Peas in a pod. Noel, here's the gist. Cast your memory back. It's September 1905, the end of the Russo Japanese War. The world is shaking because Japan, a country that has long been considered underdeveloped and prime real estate for colonization, just like less than 50 years ago, has absolutely whipped Russia on the Keystone.
Max Williams
Breaking news. T Mobile network outperforms expectations in all sectors because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off at the $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualified unlocked device credit service port in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required Card is no cash access and expires in six months.
Noel Brown
What would you do if mysterious drones appeared over your hometown? I started asking questions. What do you remember happening on that night of December 16th? It actually rotated around our house looking as if it was peering in each window of our home. I'm Gabe Lenners from Imagine I Heart Podcasts and Leonard's Entertainment. Listen to Obscura, Invasion of the Drones wherever you get your favorite podcast Podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, here's the thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers and so many other fascinating people like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd. I love writing more than anything. You're left alone, you know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon. Go pick up a kid from school and write at night. And after nine hours you come out with seven pages and then you're moving on. And actor and comedian Jack McBrayer.
Ben Bullen
The most important aspect is the collaboration with people that I like, I trust are talented. That has been the most amazing gift to me about this crazy business that we've chosen. Meeting these people who have such diverse.
Max Williams
Talents and you're able to create something together.
Noel Brown
Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Bobby Bones
Calling all Yellowstone fans, let's go to work. Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone Podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights, and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon.
Noel Brown
Our family legacy is this ranch and I protector of my life.
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone Podcast now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ben Bullen
They gave them a spanking at a time when Russia was the largest empire in the world. This is the for some historians, this is kind of the beginning of the end for Tsarist Russia. And then for others, it's the biggest beginning of the beginning for modern Japan.
Noel Brown
Do you remember that Smashing Pumpkin song from the Batman and Robin soundtrack? The end is the beginning is the end?
Ben Bullen
I do.
Noel Brown
It's okay if you don't. It was a bit of a minor. I don't even know if it was a hit. It had a really dumb video. It was specifically written for that soundtrack, but I always thought the name was funny. A lot of this early stuff we're talking about here comes from a fabulous piece on the Collector by Ilyas. I forgive the pronunciation here. I'm doing my best. Ben Abdjalil, who is a master's of international relations. Russo Japanese War, the affirmation of a global Asian power.
Ben Bullen
Highly worth checking out, as is the Russo Japanese War and world history. From our friends at the association of Asian Studies, we'll be leaning on some of their findings in this story. Let's flashback, Right? Because we kind of did a Tarantino thing, folks. We started at the end of the story, and now we're going back to the beginning. Here's why Russia and Japan started beefing up anyway. So Russia and Japan had conflicting ambitions. They wanted to both be the ultimate sovereigns of Manchuria and Korea to Russia. The idea of expanding Russian territory into Manchuria was just part of an ongoing policy that you can trace back as far as the reign of Ivan the Terrible. Shout out to our ongoing series on honorifics. And you know what? I think we should call that one now. Dishonorifics.
Noel Brown
That's true. I do believe in the terrible came up. And I think I made the point that in this case, this was probably an honorific that he would have been cool with, because terrible in this case doesn't just mean, like, God, that guy was awful. It means like a Terrible. Like a. Like a terrible giant or an ogre or someone to be feared.
Ben Bullen
Yeah, absolutely. It's pretty good marketing, Right? It may as well be synonymous with Ivan the Mighty, for instance, strikes fear.
Noel Brown
Into the hearts of the little folk of which I count myself among their number.
Ben Bullen
And Japan's rise to prominence at this point had been extraordinary. Not unprecedented, but quite anomalous. They had no industrial revolution or political franchise of any sort. When they were contacted in 1853 by Commodore Perry, the great black fleet arrived in Edo Bay. And because they didn't have this, I guess, governmental infrastructure and economic infrastructure at the time, they were very vulnerable to what we call the great powers in the age of imperialism. This is the time when a lot of forces in Europe and Russian forces figured, hey, if I just walk over to a new land and I put my flag on the ground, it's mine.
Noel Brown
Sure, just plant the flag like they did on the moon. We own the moon.
Ben Bullen
Yeah. And there was a lot of, you know, dehumanization of native populations, things like that. But Japan understood that there was a lot at stake here. And one of the things that they prioritized as a nation was maintaining their autonomy. No, you can't come train. They did something that you should do in any relationship, which is set up serious boundaries.
Noel Brown
Sure did. They were very good. They had a good therapist as a country. I guess you could call this sort of an isolationist way of doing business.
Ben Bullen
Yes. Yeah. And we could call it selective isolationism.
Noel Brown
That's right. Because they wanted to choose who they traded with or who they did business with. And they were not opposed to expanding into neighboring territories.
Ben Bullen
Absolutely, absolutely. Nailed it. And I would say it's also selective isolationism in that Japan embraced all the scientific and technical and political expertise from the west as long as they deemed it appropriate. So you can't run our good bits. Yeah, we'll take the good bits and.
Noel Brown
Made it their own.
Ben Bullen
You can't run our country, but teach us the biggest innovations in manufacturing and we'll take that.
Noel Brown
Certainly. No, Japan has always been quite good at that sort of assimilation of other cultures. You know, I mean, like, with their focus on technology, with all of their rebuilding in the image of the future. Kind of post the bombs.
Ben Bullen
Yeah. Speaking of innovations, I saw something recently that still confuses me. I'll send Max and you a picture of this after we record. I was walking around in SO towers in big cities. Lots of big cities have a tourist attraction that's just a gigantic tower and they've got shopping and stuff around it, and it's kind of like a fairground in some places. And yesterday I saw an amazing food stall. It was unfortunately closed and all it said was turkey and marshmallow.
Noel Brown
And it had a stick at the same time.
Ben Bullen
Yes, a stick with a marshmallow and a turkey on it. Like a turkey leg, Like a piece of turkey. Not like a Thanksgiving treat where you dip a marshmallow in chocolate and put turkey eyes on it. I don't know.
Noel Brown
That's. That's.
Ben Bullen
That's the thing as well. Yeah.
Noel Brown
Oh, I'm learning so much. And yeah, of course, Japan has taken that spirit of innovation and, you know, put it into their cuisine as well. Have you seen those crazy omelets they make? That's like a tornado style omelette. And then they slice it and they put it over rice and slice it with a knife and it sort of turns itself inside out. Wow.
Ben Bullen
AMU rice.
Noel Brown
Aesthetically beautiful.
Ben Bullen
Agreed. And this is. I'm bringing this tangent in just because I have so many questions about turkey marshmallow. I got to send this to you guys.
Noel Brown
All right, So I got to see it.
Ben Bullen
It's weird. We've got to try it when we all go together. So the idea here is that after acquiring various innovations and due to other regional tensions, Japan gets involved again in beef with Chinese forces. From 1894 to 1895, there's the Sino Japanese War. And after being victorious in this conflict, the Japanese government believes we can make a convincing case that we are the great power in Asia, not a Western colonial power. If you want to do business in Asia, you Mess with us. We're the big dogs. Look at me. I am the captain now.
Noel Brown
And if I'm not mistaken, they did kind of have to take an L on their isolationist views when the European powers strong armed a bit of their territory away from them. Right?
Ben Bullen
Yeah. Yes, yeah, the Liaodong Peninsula, and forgive my pronunciation there, folks, despite taking this L, they said, look, we're still gonna do it. We're gonna have our own empire. We are not going to be a vassal state, nor a servant of West. And to put it simply, Russia took that personally. Because Russia, as we mentioned earlier, had their own plans for the Korean peninsula for centuries and centuries, and even now in the modern day, by the way, rulers of Russia have always tried to tackle one huge problem for their land, which is they don't have a lot of warm water ports.
Noel Brown
That's right. So they wanted to open up sea trade routes with these warm water ports. And for that, they had been eyeing that Korean peninsula. So in 1858, Russia acquired a region known as Zolotoy Rog, which they acquired from China along the Pacific coast. And that established the port of a city that you may well have heard of, Vladivostok. But it was a bit of a seasonal bargain. This coastal port was only able to be used during the warm months of the year because other times of the year, I believe it would have been frozen over.
Ben Bullen
Yes, yeah. Locked in the ice. And that is something that was still, to their estimation, better than nothing because they did get a navigable sea route. They did get access to the wider world and the Pacific. However, they wanted more. So on the other side of the war, after, you know, after Japan kind of whips Chinese forces in 1895, as we said, the nation of Japan acquires Port Arthur. It is the ancestor of today's Lushunku Province in China. And Russia was really mad about this. For any fans of the strategy games Civilization by Sid Meier, you'll see a thing that happens whenever you build a city or extend your territory too close to another territory. Even if you're friendly with each other, you'll get a message that says, hey, you're getting too close to our stuff. And that's what Russia was doing. They said, japan, you're getting a little too close to our backyard.
Noel Brown
Everyone's forgotten who runs this valley. Time to remind them.
Bobby Bones
Yellowstone fans, step into the Yellowstone universe.
Noel Brown
Dark fantasy family legacy is this ranch. When I protect, I live my life.
Bobby Bones
Hosted by Bobby Bones, the official Yellowstone podcast takes you deeper into the franchise that's captivated millions worldwide. Action Explore untold behind the scenes stories, exclusive cast interviews and in depth discussions about the themes and legacy of Yellowstone.
Noel Brown
You know the first stuns to settle this valley fighting was all they knew.
Bobby Bones
New Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the ranch, welcome to the Yellowstone. Bobby Bones has everything you need to stay connected to the Yellowstone phenomenon.
Ben Bullen
I look forward to it.
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast Now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Noel Brown
Let's go to work.
Maria Tremarke
Welcome to the Criminalia Podcast. I'm Maria Tremarke.
Holly Fry
And I'm Holly Fry. Together we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true crime.
Maria Tremarke
Each season we explore a new theme. Everything from poisoners and pirates to art thieves and snake oil products and those who made and sold them.
Holly Fry
We uncover the stories and secrets of some of history's most compelling criminal figures, including a man who built a submarine as a getaway vehicle. Yep, that's a fact.
Maria Tremarke
We also look at what kinds of societal forces were at play at the time of the crime, from legal injustices to the ethics of body snatching, to see what, if anything, might look different through today's perspective.
Holly Fry
And be sure to tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in custom made cocktails and mocktails inspired by the stories. There's one for every story we tell.
Maria Tremarke
Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Max Williams
Do you want to understand an invisible force that's shaping your life? I'm Os Velozian, one of the new hosts of the long running podcast Tech Stuff. I'm slightly skeptical but obsessively intrigued.
Noel Brown
And I'm Cara Price, the other new host and I'm ready to adopt early.
Max Williams
And often on tech Stuff. We travel all the way from the mines of Congo to the surface of of Mars to the dark corners of TikTok to ask and attempt to answer burning questions about technology.
Noel Brown
One of the kind of tricks for surviving Mars is to live there long enough so that people evolve into Martians. Like data is a very rough proxy for a complex reality.
Ben Bullen
How is it possible that the world's.
Max Williams
New energy revolution can be based in this place where there's no electricity at night?
Noel Brown
Oz and I will cut through the noise to bring you the best conversations and deep dives that will help you understand how tech is changing our world and what you need to know to survive the singularity. So join us.
Max Williams
Listen to tech stuff on the IHEARTRADIO app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
John Cameron Mitchell
This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influence influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.
Ben Bullen
Karen, where have you brought us?
John Cameron Mitchell
Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ben Bullen
Imagine like, if. If you have a backyard in your own life. Ridiculous historians. Imagine if your neighbors build a fence and it's a decent fence, and then they take a few years with that boundary and you wake up one day and the fence is moved three feet. You know what I mean?
Noel Brown
I do completely know what you mean. It's funny, actually. I had a neighbor who purchased a plot of land next to my house and was building house, a brand new house, and he came knocking on my door and told me, hey, by the way, nice meet you is my name. And by the way, it turns out that your fence was incorrectly built and it is actually three feet on my property, but it's okay because I'll pay for it to be moved. And in my mind I'm like, do I check him on this? Do I just take his word? This seems like it opens up a lot of questions on a very micro example of this sort of macro geopolitical maneuver.
Ben Bullen
Yeah. And we have to remember that the imperialism and the racial attitudes of the time are inseparable from policy. So Russia, tsarist Russia is able to go to France and Germany and essentially say, all right, fellow Europeans. Right. Because tsarist Russia would switch between calling itself Asiatic or European or just Russian, however it suited them.
Noel Brown
And you know, it's interesting though, Ben, because in my mind, I always kind of forget how much Russia is very much part of Asia, because they are just so uniquely their own thing. In my mind, the way they've established themselves and really have very little in common with Asian culture, and yet they are absolutely a part of that region of the world. Right. Any thoughts on that?
Ben Bullen
Yeah, well, I'm. I'm still baffled that we consider. And it always ruffles feathers when I say it, but I'm still baffled that we consider Europe, Western Europe, its own continent, because there's no. There's no big water separating it from Asia. You know what I mean? You can wake up in. You can wake up in Paris and if you have enough time, you can walk to Beijing. It'll take a while. It'll take a while.
Noel Brown
It'll take a minute. Is it flat at least?
Ben Bullen
It's not flat. No. There's a ton of stuff in the way. But anyhow, so Russia decides to pull this card and they go to France and Germany and they say, fellow Europeans. And they're like, oh, you're European this week. And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, move past it.
Noel Brown
Code switching is what it's called.
Ben Bullen
Exactly. We need your help with these Asiatic forces. They're acting up. And France and Germany say, okay, right on. We. And yeah. And this creates something called the Triple Intervention, wherein Russian ruler Nicholas II gains control of Port Arthur and then Russian armies go into Manchuria in 1900, taking advantage of the massive chaos during the Boxer Rebellion in China, which was an absolute bloodbath. Yes.
Noel Brown
It's actually portrayed very interestingly in some, like, kind of weird Disneyland esque sort of dioramas in BioShock inf Infinite, the video game it has. It portrays the Boxer Rebellion from a very, let's call it, propagandistic perspective in the world. The kind of, you know, bizarro alternate future world of that game.
Ben Bullen
Yeah. And with this we. We again, I. I can't leave this fence analogy just yet because we're not to. An act of war with the navy. Yeah, right. The Russian knights, the Russian army. Now, from the Japanese perspective, the Russian nation, I should say, they have moved their fence closer and Japan is going and they're so concerned about this. Tensions are so high that Japan says in 1902, hey, we can play this game with the Europeans as well. They sign a defensive pact with Great Britain. And then they say at the same time they go to Russia. And concurrently they say, look, guys, let's turn the temperature down a bit. Let's demilitarize Manchuria. And then France comes back and says, all right, publicly, everybody, Russia's getting a little thirsty, getting a little hungry over there in the Far East. Let's not escalate things, okay? Nikki. That's what they called each other. They called Nicholas II Nicky. They were like, nikki, you're a good boy. You know, what would your mom think if he kept escalating like this? And Nicholas, it turns out, didn't vibe with that. Maybe he didn't like being called Nikki.
Noel Brown
No, he's a bit of an escalator, that guy there.
Ben Bullen
It is a habitual line stepper, as Charlie Murphy would say and shout out to anybody who got that Dave Chappelle reference. Oh, gosh. Charlie Murphy's storytelling. Remember when he tells the story about Rick James and then Prince? Oh, it was so good.
Noel Brown
It's the best, some of the best comedy ever put to video film. So Korea and Manchuria, back to them jointly, kind of represented a very important, very key objective for Russia. They were not, would not let go of Port Arthur. So in 1901, Russia had concluded the construction of a very, very modern and long railway, the longest, in fact, in the world. You may have heard of it, the Trans Siberian Railway. I think there's a. Isn't there a band called the Trans Siberian Orchestra, something or other? Orchestra. That's it. There you go. The idea was to connect Vladivostok, that seasonal port on the Pacific coast, with Moscow.
Ben Bullen
And this would be followed. Constructing railways is a lot like rivers and tributaries. Right. So this would be followed by a bunch of smaller railways that would connect Manchuria to the rest of Russia. And this is a very big move. This is what Jack, Miles and you and I will call an historical flex. Japan knows what's going on. The Emperor is PO'd about this. He is not happy. He sees what's in the wind. He sees what they're trying to do, pushing these boundaries, literally. And so on February 4, 1904, they break all diplomatic ties with Russia. And this is where things get even more hectic. Just a few days later, it's February 8th. Japan doesn't wait for someone to declare war. They launch a surprise attack on the Russian naval base of Port Arthur on the coast of Manchuria. And they never publicly nor diplomatically declare war, nor cause for war. They just go and do it. Yes. Tactic that will later be practiced at Pearl harbor in Hawaii.
Noel Brown
Correct. Definitely gave me Pearl harbor vibes. So in the night, Japanese destroyer ships approached the Russian Pacific Fleet that were anchored. These ships were anchored in the harbor. Sailors asleep on board. They had their lights on. They were very easy to spot. And they fired torpedoes, the Japanese, that is, and hit two of these Russian battleships, known as the Retvizan and the Tsarevich. In addition to a cruiser, I believe Ben, is a smaller vessel, a smaller military vessel known as the Palada. And then when the sun came out, the Japanese battleships began to shell the Russian warships that had taken refuge in their batteries on shore.
Ben Bullen
Yeah. And we Want to shout out our pal Richard Cavendish, writing for history today, who's giving us that blow by blow? And, yeah, I don't. You know, maybe we're oversimplifying with the comparison to Pearl harbor, but the tactic, the heart and soul of the tactic remains the same, you know, and when they. When they damage these ships, the attack is audacious and bold, even though it's not a automatic knockout. Right.
Noel Brown
Not a kill shot.
Ben Bullen
Not a kill shot. Yeah. There's still other naval forces that exist that can retaliate. The Times of London says the Japanese Navy has opened the war by an act of daring which is destined to take a place of honor in naval annals.
Noel Brown
I love how you kind of started that East Mid Atlantic, and then you kind of turned it into British. I love it. It was a great combo.
Ben Bullen
I could do it again. I mean, trans. Pretty much both.
Noel Brown
Oh, that's true. But it's sort of like. I felt like it had a nice morphing flow to it. I'm a fan. I thought it was cool.
Ben Bullen
Well, then the European forces clearly thought that the attack by Japan was, as you said, cool, bold, ambitious, and it took good job.
Noel Brown
The Japanese Navy.
Ben Bullen
Right. And Navy annals, of course. Naval annals, of course, is just the records of maritime war. Yeah. And so. So the night after this sneak attack, that's very much what it was. The Japanese navy comes back. They launch multiple assaults on aspects of the Russian fleet positioned in southern Manchuria. And the Russians take a lot of losses, heavy casualties. But with the help of ground artillery, they're able to repel the forces of the Japanese. And the Japanese at this time are led by an admiral named Togo Heihachiro. And Heihachiro says, all right, the attack that we're doing, you know, the thing about these sneak attacks and the shock and awe stuff is it kind of only works once. So we have to figure out something else.
Noel Brown
That's right. And Admiral Togo pivoted to a less flashy approach and more of like, let's wait them out. Let's smoke them out of their holes or starve them out of their holes. They decided to blockade the city, which is pretty effective strategy, but it is sort of more of a long game, right?
Ben Bullen
Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's a long game, partially because the people on the boats have to eat, too. So the Russian navy could not break through this Japanese blockade, which meant that they couldn't stop Japanese forces from invading Korea in 1904. By the end of the month, Japan's troops were crossing into Manchuria. And then they were defeating Russians on land, especially in the Battle of the yalu river on May 1. Now, at this point, if you go to our friends at Brilliant Maps, you'll find a quote that stood out to Dr. Z and to us as well.
Noel Brown
That's right. I think this does a fine job of summing up the situation at hand in 1904. Russia in 1904 was more of a paper tiger than a sleeping giant. Japan benefited from much shorter supply lines than Russia. Therefore, while the initial assault on Port Arkansas Arthur failed to achieve its goal, the Japanese were able to quickly follow the attack with a blockade and then a siege of the port. More of a paper tiger than a sleeping giant. Everyone's forgotten who runs this valley. Time to remind them.
Bobby Bones
Yellowstone fans, step into the Yellowstone universe.
Noel Brown
Our family legacy is this ranch. And I protect. I live my life.
Bobby Bones
Hosted by Bobby Bones, the official Yellowstone Podcast takes you deeper into the franchise that's captivated millions worldwide. Action Explore, untold behind the scenes stories, exclusive cast interviews, and in depth discussions about the themes and legacy of Yellowstone.
Noel Brown
You know, the first students to settle this valley fighting was all they knew.
Bobby Bones
Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the ranch, welcome to the Yellowstone. Bobby Bones has everything you need to stay connected to the Yellowstone phenomenon.
Ben Bullen
I look forward to it.
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast Now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Noel Brown
Let's go to work.
Maria Tremarke
Welcome to the Criminalia Podcast. I'm Maria Trimarca.
Holly Fry
And I'm Holly Fry. Together we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true crime.
Maria Tremarke
Each season we explore a new theme. Everything from poisoners and pirates to art thieves and snake oil products and those who made and sold them.
Holly Fry
We uncover the stories and secrets of some of history's most compelling criminal figures. Including a man who built a submarine as a getaway vehicle. Yep, that's a fact.
Maria Tremarke
We also look at what kinds of societal forces were at play at the time of the crime, from legal injustices to the ethics of body snatching, to see what, if anything, might look different through today's perspective.
Holly Fry
And be sure to tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in custom made cocktails and mocktails inspired by the stories. There's one for every story we tell.
Maria Tremarke
Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio @ app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Max Williams
Do you want to understand an invisible force that's shaping your life? I'm Osvaloshin one Of the new hosts of the long running podcast Tech Stuff, I'm slightly skeptical but obsessively intrigued.
Noel Brown
And I'm Cara Price, the other new host, and I'm ready to adopt early.
Max Williams
And often on Tech Stuff. We travel all the way from the mines of Congo to the surface of Mar Mars to the dark corners of TikTok to ask and attempt to answer burning questions about technology.
Noel Brown
One of the kind of tricks for surviving Mars is to live there long enough so that people evolve into Martians. Like data is a very rough proxy for a complex reality. How is it possible that the world's.
Max Williams
New energy revolution can be based in this place where there's no electricity at night?
Noel Brown
Oz and I will cut through the noise to bring you the best conversation and deep dives that will help you understand how tech is changing our world and what you need to know to survive the singularity.
Max Williams
So join us, listen to tech stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
John Cameron Mitchell
This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influence who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.
Ben Bullen
Karen, where have you brought us?
John Cameron Mitchell
Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Ben Bullen
And Russia reinforcements do exist. The Russian reinforcements rush into the region.
Noel Brown
Wow, Ben Alliterative king.
Ben Bullen
Dude, that's a quote from our friends at the Collector. So they say, look, we've got to stop this Japanese advance. We cannot have them completely encircling Port Arthur by sea and by land because we will never get it back. And so on October 15, 1904, the Russian Baltic Fleet sets out from St. Petersburg. And they say, all right, we're going to reach the theater of war here in the Far East. Can you guys hold on for seven months?
Noel Brown
Yeah, sure, why not? We got snacks. So on its way, the fleet in and of itself almost started another war, one with Great Britain, by firing on some British fishing vessels on October 21, having accidentally clocked them as enemy ships again.
Ben Bullen
Yeah, whoopsie. Tensions are high and the British government gets mad about this and they say, you know what, since you guys are being such pills and rascals, we're going to close the Suez Canal to the Russian fleet. And this, this is where again we see the defensive pact that England and Japan had already signed back a few years ago in 1902. And they said, look, we're going to remain neutral in the event that either of us get in a scrap with a third party. That's why England doesn't enter the. Well, Britain I should say. That's why they don't enter the fray. Because. Because they cannot go to war with Russia just because Japan is doing it. If everybody else is doing it, why can't we, etc. So they have to fight back in less direct ways. That's why they close the canal. And in either case, this means the Russian forces have to now travel around the Cape of Good Hope, which makes their journey even longer.
Noel Brown
Such a positive sounding cape.
Ben Bullen
It really is. It's like the pursuit of happiness. It sounds really good till you think about it. Like the Cape of Good Hope. I hope this is going to be all right around the corner.
Noel Brown
It wasn't always, was it?
Ben Bullen
No, it wasn't always, but that's the nature of hope. And there's another thing, Thing Dr. Z points out that I think bears some cogitation. You would imagine.
Noel Brown
Let's cogitate.
Ben Bullen
Yeah, you would imagine at this point, right, that, all right, we're in the early 1900s, so people are still using sailing ships, but people have also switched to coal powered steam ships. And putting a coal powered ship on the map is really great at this time. So long as you have a constant supply of coal. Kind of like how electric cars when they were getting mainstream, they were really great. So long as you had a way to plug your car in.
Noel Brown
Yeah, like a really long extension cord. That is the rub there. And at this point, Japan has kind of opened up to the rest of the western world in 1853. And that's in part because the American government wanted the Japanese to help them set up coaling stations, some of its ports that would then help facilitate trade between China and the U.S. yeah.
Ben Bullen
And because of this stuff that happened way back in 1853, now Russia's empire is kind of screwed. They don't have those coaling stations because they're largely a land empire. Right. And this means that the 2nd Pacific Squadron, these Russian forces, when they leave Russia, they have to carry tons of coal, like literal tons of coal, just to keep the boats going and the Suez Canal gets cut off. So I picture them counting bricks of coal one by one, going through the Cape or going around the Cape of Good Hope. And they are only able to refuel when they reach Madagascar, which is controlled.
Noel Brown
By France, and the clock's ticking away. With the Baltic Fleet making its way towards the Pacific theater, the Japanese Empire then begins to kind of close that open hand into a fist and tighten their grasp on Manchuria and that Port of Arthur. The Russian Navy at this point, tries several little skirmishes, or what do you call these? Ben the collector, describes them as sorties. It's always sounded very highfalutin to me. What's a sortie versus a skirmish? Is it a specific type of attack? Aren't these kind of like mini attacks? What is.
Ben Bullen
What is a sortie? Yeah, a sortie is specifically an attack made from a. Made when you're surrounded. So like an invasion strafing. Yes. It's like you're cornered, right. And then you say, all right, I'm not going down without a.
Noel Brown
Okay, got it.
Ben Bullen
So these guys are. Yeah, these guys are encircled by the Japanese forces holding that blockade. And every so often they go out there and do a little. But they can't quite sink any of the Japanese ships. There are different famous battles in this regard that you can read about, but what you need to know is that none of those sorties worked at all.
Noel Brown
Not even sort.
Ben Bullen
Not even sortie of. Yeah. Not on land nor on sea. And after multiple defeats, the Russian forces get knocked again by the Japanese army, which sieges or besieges Port Arthur from the ground. The last general in the city, Anatoly Stess, surrenders to Japanese forces on January 2, 1905, which means now Port Arthur and Manchuria are officially controlled by the Japanese Empire. This is the end of that war, thank God.
Noel Brown
Took long enough.
Ben Bullen
I mean, imagine being those poor guys on the Russian squad squadron who are just trying to get coal, and they're there for seven months and they don't really know what's happening on the ground. Talk about showing up late to the party, right? But wait, as Billy Mays was wont to say, there's more war ahead. We played with his quote a little bit. I don't think he ever said war as a product.
Noel Brown
Oh, no, he was known for that war. War never changes. Billy Mays, he said, yeah, that's right.
Ben Bullen
No one fact check us, but do check back in with us for part two. On the one time Japan rinsed Russia.
Noel Brown
We know this one's a little bit in the weeds. But I think it's one for a lot of you war wonks out there and maybe we can kind of set the stage a little bit about what's to come.
Ben Bullen
Yes, so we'll have a recap here too, because as you pointed out, Noel, there is a lot of back and forth here. The Japanese Empire is ready to call it a day on this front and to expand further. Russia now has a real axe to grind because Japan is yet to conquer Manchuria. Tune in for part two to see what happens next. In the meantime, thanks to the ridiculous historians, you all form our empire. We couldn't be more happy that you're here. Thanks to Max Williams. Thanks to Alex Tijuana Williams, who composed this slap and bop.
Noel Brown
Indeed. Bahama Alex Tijuana. Bahama Breeze Williams. Wait. No, no, no. It's A.J. bahamas Jacobs. What am I doing here? We've got the puzzler. Aj Bahamas Jacobs. The Quizzler quiz. The quiz.
Ben Bullen
Yeah.
Noel Brown
I like the Quizzler, though. That's fun. That would be Jonathan Aloysius Strickland iii.
Ben Bullen
Yes, yes. And of course, as always, if there are any criticisms, feedback or complaints, hesitate to email us 24 hours a day, seven days a week at our complaint department. Jonathan Strickland@iheartmedia.com.
Noel Brown
That'S right. But if you want to say nice things, you can find Ben and I as human individual people peopling our way across the World Wide Web. People don't really call it that anymore, but I think it's fun. We like alliteration here on Ridiculous History. I am Instagram exclusive at How Now, Noel Brown. How about you, Ben Bullen?
Ben Bullen
You can find me Ben Bullen on Instagram as well. You can also just drop by the website ben bollen.com. and while you are on the Internet, why not check out our colleagues, the rude dudes over at Ridiculous Crime. If you like our show, you will love theirs. Tell them we sent you and they're on the Internet. Someone. Someone is. Someone's on the Internet.
Noel Brown
I'm being coy.
Ben Bullen
I suspect. Unless Dead Internet theory turns out to be true. You can check out our stuff they don't want you to know episode on that Big thanks to our research associate, Dr. Z. What a legend. What an absolute mensch. And Noel, big thanks to you.
Noel Brown
And follow that guy on Instagram too. By the way, he goes by Herbert.
Ben Bullen
Chill with seven eyes.
Noel Brown
Seven eyes and two Ls. That dude is a good follow. He's a real handcrafted memester, that guy. Check him out and hey, in the meantime, we'll see you next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. What would you do if mysterious drones appeared over your hometown? I started asking questions. What do you remember happening on that night of December 16th? It actually rotated around our house, looking as if it was peering in each window of our home. I'm Gabe Leonard from Imagine I Heart Podcasts and Leonard's Entertainment. Listen to Obscurum, Invasion of the Drones wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, here's the thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policy makers, and so many other fascinating people, like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd. I love writing more than anything. You're left alone, you know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon. Go pick up a kid from school and write at night. And after nine hours you come out with seven pages and then you're moving on. And actor and comedian, comedian Jack McBrayer.
Ben Bullen
The most important aspect is the collaboration with people that I like, I trust are talented. That has been the most amazing gift to me about this crazy business that we've chosen. Meeting these people who have such diverse.
Max Williams
Talents and you're able to create something together.
Noel Brown
Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast casts.
Bobby Bones
Calling all Yellowstone fans, let's go to work. Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone Podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights, and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon.
Noel Brown
Our family legacy is this ranch. My protector of my life.
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast Now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Maria Tremarke
Welcome to the Criminalia Podcast. I'm Maria Tremarke.
Holly Fry
And I'm Holly Fry. Together, we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true crime.
Maria Tremarke
Each season, we explore a new theme. From poisoners to art thieves.
Holly Fry
We uncover the secrets of history's most interesting figures, from legal injustices to body snatching.
Maria Tremarke
And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails mocktails inspired by each story.
Holly Fry
Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ridiculous History: That Time Japan Absolutely Rinsed Russia, Part One: The Race for Manchuria
Released on February 11, 2025 by iHeartPodcasts
Introduction
In the compelling episode titled "That Time Japan Absolutely Rinsed Russia, Part One: The Race for Manchuria," hosts Ben Bullen and Noel Brown delve deep into one of history’s most underestimated conflicts—the Russo-Japanese War. With insights from their research associate, Dr. Z, the duo unpacks how a nation once considered underdeveloped orchestrated a stunning victory over the colossal Russian Empire, reshaping the geopolitical landscape of Asia.
1. Setting the Stage: Japan’s Meteoric Rise
The episode begins with an exploration of Japan’s extraordinary rise to prominence in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Unlike many nations of its time, Japan embarked on a path of selective isolationism, carefully balancing openness to Western innovations while fiercely maintaining its autonomy. This strategy, as Bullen aptly puts it, allowed Japan to "embrace all the scientific and technical and political expertise from the west as long as they deemed it appropriate" ([09:37] Ben Bullen).
Notable Quote:
“You can’t run our country, but teach us the biggest innovations in manufacturing and we'll take that.”
— Noel Brown ([09:37])
2. Russia’s Ambitions in Manchuria and Korea
Parallel to Japan’s ascent, the Russian Empire harbored longstanding ambitions to expand its territory into Manchuria and the Korean Peninsula. Tracing back to the reign of Ivan the Terrible, Russia sought to secure warm water ports—a critical strategic and economic necessity. The acquisition of Vladivostok via the Trans-Siberian Railway symbolized this expansion but was beset by logistical challenges, particularly the seasonal usability of the port ([13:19] Noel Brown).
Notable Quote:
“Constructing railways is a lot like rivers and tributaries. This would be followed by a bunch of smaller railways that would connect Manchuria to the rest of Russia.”
— Ben Bullen ([25:24])
3. The Prelude: Sino-Japanese War and Shifting Powers
The episode recounts the aftermath of the Sino-Japanese War (1894-1895), where Japan's victory bolstered its claim as a dominant Asian power. Despite setbacks like losing the Liaodong Peninsula due to the Triple Intervention by France, Germany, and Italy, Japan remained undeterred in its imperial aspirations ([05:54] Ben Bullen).
Notable Quote:
“Russia in 1904 was more of a paper tiger than a sleeping giant.”
— Noel Brown ([30:44])
4. Igniting the Russo-Japanese War: The Attack on Port Arthur
The war officially commenced on February 8, 1904, when Japan launched a surprise attack on the Russian naval base at Port Arthur without prior declaration of war. This audacious move, reminiscent of tactics later seen at Pearl Harbor, involved torpedo attacks that crippled Russian battleships, including the Retvizan and Tsarevich ([26:42] Noel Brown).
Notable Quote:
“The Japanese Navy has opened the war by an act of daring which is destined to take a place of honor in naval annals.”
— The Times of London ([28:21] Noel Brown)
5. Naval Strategies and the Siege of Port Arthur
Admiral Togo Heihachiro, leading the Japanese forces, swiftly shifted from flashy initial assaults to a more strategic blockade, aiming to smoke out and starve Russian forces into submission. This shift underscored Japan’s prowess in both naval strategy and psychological warfare ([29:47] Noel Brown).
Notable Quote:
“The tactic, the heart and soul of the tactic remains the same.”
— Ben Bullen ([28:04])
6. Russia’s Struggle for Reinforcement
Facing a blockade, Russia attempted to send reinforcements via the Trans-Siberian Railway. However, geopolitical tensions complicated their efforts. The British closure of the Suez Canal in retaliation for an accidental attack on British fishing vessels severely hampered Russia’s logistical capabilities, forcing their fleet to undertake the arduous journey around the Cape of Good Hope ([35:28] Noel Brown).
Notable Quote:
“You have to figure out something else.”
— Admiral Togo Heihachiro ([29:47])
7. The Turning Tide: Battle of the Yalu River
By May 1, 1904, Japan’s strategic advantages culminated in a decisive victory at the Battle of the Yalu River, further diminishing Russian capabilities. The disproportionate effectiveness of Japanese forces, coupled with Russia's stretched supply lines, signaled a pivotal shift in the war’s momentum ([30:04] Ben Bullen).
8. The Surrender and Aftermath
After enduring relentless assaults and facing insurmountable odds, the Russian garrison in Port Arthur, led by General Anatoly Stess, capitulated on January 2, 1905. This surrender not only marked the end of the Russo-Japanese War but also underscored the decline of Tsarist Russia and heralded the rise of Japan as a formidable global power ([42:12] Ben Bullen).
Notable Quote:
“Japan’s troops were crossing into Manchuria and defeating Russians on land.”
— Noel Brown ([30:04])
Conclusion and Tease for Part Two
As the episode wraps up Part One, Bullen and Brown reflect on the profound implications of Japan’s victory over Russia. They hint at the continuing repercussions of this conflict, setting the stage for Part Two, where they promise to explore the ensuing power dynamics and the eventual fallout that shaped modern Asia.
Notable Quote:
“You have to stop this Japanese advance. We cannot have them completely encircling Port Arthur by sea and by land because we will never get it back.”
— The Collector via Ben Bullen ([35:32])
Acknowledgments
The hosts extend their gratitude to Dr. Z for his invaluable research and insights, as well as to their producer, Max Williams. They also invite listeners to engage with them on social media and explore related content through iHeartRadio’s diverse podcast offerings.
Final Quote:
“We know this one's a little bit in the weeds. But I think it's one for a lot of you war wonks out there.”
— Noel Brown ([42:57])
Stay Tuned
Don’t miss Part Two of this riveting series, where Ben Bullen and Noel Brown continue their exploration of how Japan's strategic maneuvers not only defeated Russia but also set the stage for future conflicts and the reshaping of international relations in the early 20th century.
Connect with Ridiculous History
Instagram:
Website: benbullen.com
Related Podcast: Ridiculous Crime – Explore more outrageous historical tales.
For more fascinating historical narratives, subscribe to Ridiculous History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.