The Ridiculous Truth About Pirates, Chapter One: The Caribbean

Summary

Ridiculous History: The Ridiculous Truth About Pirates, Chapter One – The Caribbean

Podcast: Ridiculous History
Hosts: Ben Bowlin, Noel Brown, Max Williams (producer), Matt Frederick (guest)
Release Date: April 21, 2026
Episode Theme:
An enthusiastic deep-dive into the surprising, chaotic, and sometimes progressive realities of Caribbean piracy during the "Golden Age," debunking myths, spotlighting notorious pirates, and exploring the social and political environment that bred this unique subset of maritime outlaws.

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Episode Overview

This episode, recorded live in the Bahamas, launches a series on "the most ridiculous, obscure, and strange pirates" in history. The Ridiculous History crew discusses the reality behind Caribbean piracy, its social mechanisms, glamour and brutality, and profiles a famously defiant pirate, Charles Vane. The hosts combine pop culture references, video game tangents, and serious historical insights to paint a nuanced, at times irreverent, portrait of pirate life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting and Tone: A Live Recording in the Bahamas

• The team records at Baja Mar (Bahamas), drawing comparisons between modern luxury and the gritty pirate past, with tongue-in-cheek asides about their posh surroundings and curious onlookers.
  • "We couldn't be more thrilled. We've been here for a couple of days. We are in... honestly, a posh studio... It's way better than what we're used to." (Ben, 02:11)
• They joke about being observed like exotic animals in a fishbowl, paralleling modern beachgoers with historical pirate antics.

2. Breaking Down Pirate Stereotypes

• Violence vs. Democracy:
  • Pirates were both brutal and surprisingly progressive for their era.
    • "Some pirate crews were actually really progressive for their time... There were democratic votes on the ships, booty was all split in equal shares, there was like a pension plan..." (Ben, 09:02–09:32)
  • Piracy emerged partly as rebellion against colonial class systems and harsh rule, especially when sailors were unpaid or oppressed.
• Women & Misconceptions:
  • While women were sometimes allowed, the "wild women" trope often came laden with problematic and exploitative baggage.
  • "There is horrific stuff in almost every pirate crew that I've read about... There's no happy pirate squad... there's nobody who is like raiding a ship to bring hugs." (Matt, 15:51–16:44)

3. Nassau’s Role: The Pirate "Utopia"

• New Providence Island (modern Nassau) was central:
  • Pirates built an "intentional community" there, functioning as a quasi-utopian free republic that contrasted with colonial rule. (Matt, 10:42–12:01)
  • This freedom attracted marginalized sailors, especially those excluded by colonial powers because of race or class.
  • "Why wouldn't you go somewhere else [if you were denied advancement]?... They were allowed to exist, which doesn't seem like it's asking for that much." (Ben & Noel, 14:39–15:16)
• Mutinies were commonplace, as ship crews frequently rebelled against neglectful or authoritarian captains.

4. Privateer vs. Pirate: Where’s the Line?

• Privateers were "legal" pirates with government blessings (via "letters of marque"), but the distinction became murky and contingent on politics and payment.
  • "The colonial powers had their own pirate armies... they just called them privateers and gave them little certificates that said what this guy does is fine." (Ben, 12:29)
  • Many pirates, including the episode’s focus Charles Vane, began as privateers until commissions ended or they were abandoned by their sponsors.

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Deep Dive: Charles Vane, Pirate Outlaw

5. Vane and the "Act of Grace"

(Key Segment: 21:00–31:50)

• In 1717, Britain’s King George I issued the "Act of Grace," pardoning pirates in hopes they'd reform.
  • "King George... passed something called the Acts of Grace, which essentially absolved a lot of these pirates for their crimes in the hopes that they would quit pirating... But some of them said, 'King George, you could take your pardon and stick it where the sun don't shine.'" (Noel, 21:00–21:41)
• Charles Vane, a Jacobite and political dissident, famously rejected the pardon in dramatic fashion.
  • "He played along at first and he said, 'Oh, yeah, yeah, you know me. I'm a good boy. I'm an upstanding maritime dude.'... And then just a few months afterwards... he blew up the spot." (Ben, 25:07)

6. Vane’s Most Ridiculous Act

• When offered the royal pardon, Vane responded by:
  • Setting a prize ship on fire and sending the flaming vessel into the British fleet as a diversion (the "fire ship" tactic) and escaping with his pirate flag flying.
    • "Not only did Vane... reject it and set a ship on fire, this guy's name was Rogers. He sailed the flaming ship directly at Rogers' fleet and created a diversion..." (Noel, 41:17)
  • "He basically gave them the finger, set a ship on fire and fled with his pirate flag flying..." (Noel, 25:34)

7. Personalities: Ruthless and Rebellious

• Vane is not romanticized as a heroic figure—he was legendary among pirates, but notorious for cruelty.
  • "Vane was even among other pirates, infamous for his cruelty... They would capture [other sailors] and sometimes not even try to ransom them. They would just torture them for long periods of time..." (Ben, 35:32–36:41)
• His pirate career ended with him marooned, captured, and executed—his body was displayed as a warning, symbolizing the end of the "golden age of piracy."

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History, Tactics, and Technology

8. Pirate Ships & Naval Tactics

• Most pirates sailed small, agile vessels (sloops, schooners) to outmaneuver lumbering warships and to ease landing on Nassau's tricky shores. (36:11–38:20)
  • "There were some chunky boys, but most of them be more sloops and schooners..." (Ben, 37:30)
• Large, heavily armed ships—like Blackbeard's Queen Anne’s Revenge—were rare; stealth and speed were the norm.

9. The Egalitarian (But Grim) Pirate Life

• Pirates sometimes practiced radical democracy and equitable loot-sharing, but violence, terror, and exploitation remained central to their operations.
• The reality of pirate life was a response to rigid, often abusive hierarchies aboard "legit" naval and merchant ships.
  • "It's easy to, you know... romanticize, but... they were rebelling against a system that was really bad." (Max, 13:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "There’s no happy pirate squad... there's nobody who is like raiding a ship to bring hugs." – Ben (16:36)
• "Why wouldn't you go somewhere else? They were allowed to exist, which doesn't seem like it's asking for that much." – Ben & Noel (14:39–15:16)
• "Shout out to everybody working in freelance... this is a rig economy. I'm doing ship jokes." – Ben & Matt (28:23–28:42)
• "This is a great setup... because we did say we were going to get into some feminism and piracy, which I'm really excited about. This is going to be crazy." – Ben (16:44)
• "So, Noel, after all this, what do you think, man? You gonna do some piracy with me?" – Ben (45:13)

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Fun Tangents & Pop Culture

• Frequent references to Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag for illustrating both misconceptions and naval maneuvering. (22:00+)
• Discussion of ships & sea monsters: "It's not the size of the sea monster, it's the size of the ship." (Ben, 39:14)
• Lively banter, recurring "bad joke drum," and shout-outs to podcast in-jokes, adding warmth and irreverence.

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Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Details | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:11 | Posh live setting | Hosts reflect on their upscale recording environment in the Bahamas | | 09:02 | Pirate progressivism | Democratic votes, workers' comp, shared booty—examining pirate ship governance | | 10:42 | Nassau as pirate HQ | The "pirate utopia," intentional community versus colonial tyranny | | 12:29 | Privateers vs. pirates | The thin line; certificates and legal pretense | | 15:51 | The dark reality: "Wild women" & pirate brutality | Critical look at the violence, especially against women | | 21:00 | King George’s "Act of Grace" | The royal offer of pardon and pirate reactions | | 25:34 | Charles Vane’s defiance | The fire ship escape and deliberate flouting of the pardon | | 35:32 | Vane’s cruelty clarified | Examples of his methods (torture, intimidation, no ransom) | | 37:30 | Pirate ship sizes and strategy | Sloops, schooners, and naval agility | | 39:14 | Sea monsters tangent | Perspective on historical ship sizes and folk legends | | 41:17 | Vane’s flaming ship escape | The dramatic detail of his greatest act | | 44:22 | Vane's capture and execution | Shipwreck, betrayal, trial, and death marking the end of the pirate era |

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Conclusion

• The hosts wrap up, promising deeper dives into feminist piracy and more scandalous tales in upcoming episodes.
• "We're going to return to the glory days of piracy in a way that's not often broken reported in Western history books. So tune in later this week." (Ben, 48:33)
• The episode blends humor, honest history, and playful camaraderie, laying groundwork for a series on the wild, contradictory world of pirates—a far cry from Hollywood legend.

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Transcript

[A]

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartradio. Welcome back to the show, fellow ridiculous historians. Thank you as always so much for tuning in. That's our super producer, Mr. Max Williams.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

I am here and in the room for once.

[D]

He's sitting in a chair. We're all here together.

[A]

Yes. They call me Ben Bullen for tax purposes. And that's Mr. Noel Brown.

[D]

Did you do your taxes?

[A]

What's that?

[D]

You've done your taxes.

[A]

Is this a legal inquiry?

[D]

Yes, it is.

[A]

So we are all.

[D]

Answer me, Daniel.

[A]

We are going to.

[D]

You live.

[A]

Ish.

[D]

I don't care.

[A]

From the. I did do my taxes.

[D]

Get. Get black bags. See if I care. I was just trying to help you out.

[A]

All right. Did you do your taxes?

[D]

Nope.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I did my taxes. In case you were wondering, I did them in January.

[D]

And we have a good boy.

[A]

We have a fourth person joining us today. Long time brother in arms, also co creator of stuff they don't want you to know. Fellow ridiculous historians, let's welcome the one and only Mr. Matt Frederick.

[E]

Hey, everybody.

[D]

Matt the voice. Frederick. Matt the private privateer. Saving Private Ryan's Private privateers.

[C]

Oh, quit seeing Charles Vane of our podcast. No, that's wrong.

[E]

Hey, hey.

[A]

That's a different one. As you can tell, folks, because we're talking about being good boys and paying our taxes, we're leading into an exploration that we couldn't imagine occurring in a better environment. We are going to talk about some of history's most ridiculous, obscure and strange pirates. And we're doing it in the former home of Caribbean piracy.

[D]

It's true. It's a little different than it once was.

[A]

They classed up the joint.

[D]

I don't know if they used to have Flamingo Yoga in the pirate days, but, you know, here we are at

[A]

Bahama, at the lovely Baja Mar. We couldn't be more thrilled. We've been here for a couple of days. We are in, guys, honestly, a posh studio. I'm going to say it. It's way better than what we're used to.

[D]

It's. Well, you know, I mean, our individual homes typically serve as our studios, so results may vary. I like my situation. I hope you all like yours as well. This situation though, however, involves a fishbowl type thing where there children and their families just looking and pointing at the. At the odd men.

[E]

I just tried to make eye contact with the dad.

[A]

Just iced, man.

[E]

Come on, dad. Right here, dad.

[D]

Oh, man. No, this is not how it works. Be in your natural environment, dude. Let them observe you.

[E]

I Want to meet that dad?

[C]

And to break the metaphorical fourth wall here a little bit, what's different today than it was from yesterday when we recorded stuff that I want you to know is that's on video today. This is just audio.

[D]

We're all hanging on.

[A]

We.

[C]

Well, we have. We have the windows open, so this. There's this pathway that people walking down. And yesterday they just walked by like, whatever. Today they're just like, huh.

[A]

Well, because today it's way easier to see.

[D]

That's right. More of the foot traffic on that side of the cube.

[A]

So you may hear us shout out people who are walking by. Fellow visitors to Baja Mar, there are a lot of very curious kids here. You may also encounter a random guest because we had some folks walk in as we're recording.

[D]

Likely shirtless.

[A]

Yeah, likely shirtless. It's a look. It's a mood. It's a vibe.

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[A]

Guys, let's say we do it listicle style here and get into some stories of different pirates, often obscure, that we have been diving into over our past few days here at Baja.

[D]

Cliff diving even. It was a false cliff. But I did cliff dove.

[A]

I remember when we were texting Cliff Divan.

[E]

Yes. And then you go into a little cove of sorts. What do you call that?

[D]

Grotto. Yes. Much like the Playboy Mansion.

[E]

Yes. And on the other side, within said grotto, you can see into this animal sanctuary that they've got set up in there you can see all kinds of sharks and turtles.

[D]

Hashtag, not an ad.

[A]

Hashtag kind of an ad.

[D]

Hashtag kind of an ad.

[A]

Kind of an ad.

[E]

I'm sorry. I was genuinely excited.

[D]

That's why I had to say it because we are genuinely enthusiastic about this place. It's super, super fun. Definitely no ad required. To be honest, we're just. They put us up and of course we're going to gush about the place.

[E]

It rules.

[A]

So gentlemen, where should we begin? I guess we got to talk about piracy in general. It's still a thing.

[D]

We should start close to home and then move our way outward back to our other home perhaps.

[E]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

Yeah. And we can maybe end with the world's most successful pirate.

[D]

Oh, there we go. Okay, okay, like that. When I say close to home, I mean close to where we currently find ourselves at home. And then maybe moving back towards the States.

[A]

Oh, and everybody, check out our episode. Did pirates have a government from a few years back, which also takes place here.

[D]

It sure does. And I don't know if we talked about this on that episode, but I was doing a little digging. I know we talked about the eye patch trick. It wasn't necessarily that someone's eye had been removed by a parrot or a bullet vision. It was about flipping the patch to the other side if you needed to go down into the below decks. And then that eye that had been blocked would be pre acclimated to the darkness.

[E]

Beautiful.

[D]

Pretty cool. And the peg legery of it all, that was done by just some really industrious and thrifty woodworkers who kind of figured out how to use their certain set of skills to craft on the fly. What's the word? Prosthetics.

[E]

Prosthetics. Oh, I was thinking maybe you would put some kind of divot or hole in the deck, you know, so that you could really strap in if the waves got bad.

[A]

Yeah. Stability during waves and then just rock people in a sword fight, you know, how is that able to swing around so quickly?

[D]

Well, and speaking of the sword fights, have it all been the. The swashbuckling, you know, golden age of Hollywood. Pirate sword fights we know as being very precision and fencing, like, not how it was. It was much more cutthroat and slash and burn.

[A]

Chaotic. And also we know that pirate. Some pirate crews were actually really progressive for their time. We also know that the line.

[D]

They even let women hang out.

[A]

Right, right. Though in the west, it was still sometimes considered bad luck. We don't know if all the women were p. Uh, but we'll get to that. We'll get to the.

[D]

They did get workman's comp, though.

[A]

We'll get to some. Yes, we'll get to some feminism. Piracy. They got workers comp. There were democratic votes on the ship.

[D]

The booty was all split in equal shares.

[A]

There was like a pension plan, you know, for people who are retiring or who were injured. But there are also so many misconceptions about piracy in general. It's like. It's a really muddy gray line between murky water privates here. Murky waters or dark waters? Did you guys ever see that cartoo? Dark Water.

[E]

I saw the movie Dark Water.

[D]

That was the one about the Teflon, right? Yeah, there was a super fun hang.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, there was another one. We'll get into it later. Just hit us up on ridiculous historians at Facebook if you remember that obscure

[D]

cartoon, especially if you're an old.

[E]

It sounds familiar, Ben, but I feel like I can picture something in my mind of the art.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very pirate coated, as Noel would say. I don't know if it holds up on rewatch, but it does bring us to a question.

[D]

What about Flight of Dragons, though, Ben? Does that hold up?

[A]

Yes, it does.

[D]

Okay, cool.

[A]

And it is a Rankin Bass callback.

[D]

It is, yes. I love the rankings in the back.

[A]

I'm surprised you haven't seen that.

[D]

I haven't. It seems like a bit of a deeper cut. I don't know that one.

[E]

Guys, can we talk about New Providence island, the island on which we are sitting right now?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

In the Bahamas, the Big Island. I feel like that's kind of what we're hinting at. The cool things in piracy at least. Well, there were a lot of interesting things, a lot of horrific things that happened with piracy during the golden age, like 1690, 1720. That's when here in the Bahamas, there was a place that was an intentional community. Well, it was completely bombarded and everybody left because this place was destroyed. And then a lot of folks came back and rebuilt everything and used it as a really a.

[A]

It's like an hq.

[E]

It is like an hq, but it

[D]

was also a bit of a pirate utopia.

[E]

It's very strange because you're thinking about British or Spanish rule back in the, like, colonial rule back in the day. That is one of the big problems in the world. And you're talking about a bunch of people who are really good at ships making ships go and functioning on the seas. A lot of them in the Atlantic Ocean, especially ones we're talking about here. And the freedom that that represents. Right. And then the freedom that the Bahamas represented at that time when they created their own place. Like a. As we were saying, like a free port. Not free port, but like a freeport. They don't want you to know because Nassau, like now. What is now Nassau, was basically the place we're talking about.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And I'm trying to make a connection between the freedom that that place represented versus the colonialism and how a lot of the pirateers began because they weren't getting paid. Right. By people who commissioned them to be on a ship, to go somewhere and

[A]

do something, to be privateers or absolutely conscripted. Them. Right. And made them in all function slaves. And we'll get to like.

[E]

And they just decided we're not doing this anymore. Yeah.

[A]

And the colonial powers had their own pirate armies. They just called them privateers and gave them little certificates that said what this guy does is fine.

[D]

And I'm sorry Matt, I didn't mean to interrupt. The privateer comment was not quite on base. You're more talking about when they were conscripted to just run supplies and victuals.

[E]

Often, often there's I think somebody you're going to be talking about today, Noel. And that thing happened in particular where a mutiny occurred because the pay stopped and they got stranded somewhere on a ship and they said, well I guess we're taking the ship.

[C]

So to jump in here. Like I think, Ben, we were talking about this maybe two nights ago that basically on every long Spanish voyage you basically read about there is a mutiny at some point, a mutiny on all these things because they stop paying people

[A]

they like, the food goes bad, food

[C]

goes bad for some reason. God grabs a bunch of cows. No, we're not going to talk about that one. I can find enough sourcing on that one. Basil Hood, if you want to check that one out. But there's always getting overthrown because it really sucked. And you know, there's these liberties be taken away because it's easy to, you know, there's the romanticized view of pirates where it's like, oh, these people weren't bad like the pirates of the Caribbean view. Then there's like the pirates were bad but. But they were just terrible view. But it's like, you know, they were rebelling against a system that was really bad.

[D]

Yeah. The truth is somewhere in the middle and of course there's examples on both sides. But it's so interesting to think about how a ship at sea really is like its own little country and a mutiny is really kind of like overthrowing the government. But it's a lot easier to do when you are kind of like a bunch of your closest pals and then the guy that you want to overthrow, it's a little more functionally achievable goal on a ship. So that's probably why it happens so much more than like, you know, your average coup.

[A]

Exactly. And then we also know now to be clear here, we're primarily talking about piracy in the Caribbean, which is what most Americans are going to be thinking about. Right. When you hear pirates. Right. And a lot of that is probably due to Johnny Depp. But we have to realize that the colonial system. In a very real way, it created the Caribbean piracy. Right. Because these folks were under brutal class regimes. The punishments were incredibly harsh for all kinds of things because the captains and the colonial powers ruled through fear. So when we had people who, say were of darker skin tone. Right. They would never have a chance to advance in a colonial operation at all. So why wouldn't you go somewhere else?

[D]

And to the point of the egalitarianism of the pirate world, those folks would have been welcomed into the right.

[A]

Yeah. Especially if they're able bodied. Yeah. And if not, treated as equals, treated less horribly.

[D]

Fair enough. See, now I'm doing the romanticization again. It's easy to do, but at the very least, you're right, Ben. They were allowed to exist.

[A]

They were allowed to exist, which doesn't seem like it's asking for that much. So I think we're.

[D]

It's a low bar. We're limbo.

[C]

Very low bar.

[A]

We're gently becoming pro pirate because of the meritocracy act. Yes.

[E]

I want to make one point. It's uncomfortable. It's, it's unsettling. It's. It's gross and. Sorry. I know, I know what show I'm on. We just have to point out nor PG13 in the writing. There's, there's a lot of reading that you can do about, quote, wild women, which you will see. You will see that phrase a lot when you're looking up the history of pirates.

[D]

Sign me up.

[E]

Well, maybe not.

[D]

I don't know. I don't know where you're going.

[E]

I just want to point this out here because it's just, it's a truth of a truth of the thing. We're talking about the different versions of pirates that you'll read about and the, the way they are depicted. Did there was horrific SA happening across the board? No, but just, I mean, on ships when, you know, a port was raided, everywhere that was happening, pillaging. And it's just very much so in the way, you know, we've spoken before, but I've spoken with you guys before about Vikings and the way they're depicted. And, you know, but there's all. There's that, that gray area between the truths often. But there is horrific stuff in almost every pirate crew that I've read about.

[A]

Yeah. There's no happy pirate squad. You know what I mean? There's nobody who is like raiding a ship to bring hugs.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

This isn't happening. This is a great setup, Matt, for a story we'll get to later. Because we did say we were going to get into some feminism and piracy, which I'm really excited about. This is going to be crazy. But Nolte, your proposition there about starting closer to the US Centric view, why don't you kick it with us on the Is there a pirate from the Caribbean that's really captured your eye? Guys, we live in the beautiful southeastern part of the United States and every time spring comes we get a lot of pollen, we get a lot of flowers, we get a lot of bugs.

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[F]

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[B]

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[D]

Oh geez, put me on the spot, why don't you? Well, you know what? I will talk about this guy because it actually is also very applicable in terms of what we just discussed regarding the golden age of piracy. And there was actually a thing that happened where King George, the first kind of near the end of that golden age that Matt was talking about, 1718-17 to 1718, he passed something called the Acts of Grace, which essentially absolved a lot of these pirates for their crimes in the hopes that they would quit pirating. Yeah, but some of them said King George, you could take your pardon and stick it where the sun don't shine.

[C]

Also to jump in here. I mean, Ben, I know you are this well, but so much of my knowledge of this time of period just comes From Assassin's Creed 4 Black Flag with Roger showing up, you know, know. Is it Horningford? We're gonna get into him eventually. But yeah, he's your friend. He betrays you and you have to kill him later. Oh. So yeah, I've never played a one

[D]

of those games worth it.

[A]

Start later in the franchise.

[E]

That's what I heard.

[C]

Oh, start earlier in the franchise.

[D]

You like the pirate one?

[C]

Don't start at one.

[D]

Should I play the pirate one though? Is that what.

[A]

It's great if you like the ship mechanics.

[C]

Well, they're gonna re release it this year. Unless they're not gonna re release. Yeah, Ubisoft has been. They haven't officially announced it, but they've been working on a re release or remastering of of Assassin's Creed 4. But they were also working on a remastering of Prince of Persia, which they canceled because Ubisoft's like going on now.

[A]

Is that Schrodinger's Ubisoft?

[D]

That's funny though, because Ubisoft is kind of the King George, the first of video games. They are in a lot of ways because not to get too off the track here, but we're all huge fans of Claire Obscure Expedition 33, which is, one could argue, as close to an indie game studio as might be able to generate what feels like a AAA tit like Clair Obscure. And it was made up from folks who pitched that to Ubisoft and were continuously shot down and said, no, no, no, that's too weird, it's never going to fly. And literally blew them out of the water when they started their own company, Sandfall dude.

[C]

And by the way, I have my whole right arm exposed facing Matt right now, who refuses to play Clair Obscure. So he has to just stare at my Claire.

[A]

As long as you have to play it with the audio. We're getting off track.

[E]

I would love it so much if it wasn't all, you know, AI generated. I'm only kidding.

[D]

I'm only kidding.

[A]

Matth.

[D]

So the proclamation for suppressing of pirates, also known as the act of Grace, all is forgiven.

[A]

Just.

[D]

It was not an act of Parliament, but it was a royal proclamation that king George the First of Britain issued on September 5th of 1717, promising a pardon for all acts of piracy committed before the following January 5th.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

To any pirates who would be so bold as to surrender themselves to the crown to proper authority before said deadline. And there were other caveats associated with that, but we're talking about a dude named Charles Vane, I believe that's your reference point with the game, right?

[C]

No, but he is a character you play as a fictional pirate, Edward Kenway. But Vane is one of the guys you meet and you don't think very highly of Vayne. Vayne comes off as a real pill.

[A]

Well, he would meet Benjamin Hornigold in that one.

[C]

Yeah. He is actually kind of like your mentor. And he's kind of like a guy

[A]

portrays Benjamin Horny Gold. Yes, Matt. Okay, okay. With an I.

[D]

Keep it smack. That's a banger of a pirate name, Horny for gold.

[E]

We got Vain and Horny Gold.

[D]

So here's a quote from Captain Charles Johnson from a general history of the pirates with a Y, because they spelled things funny back then. All the pirates who were found at this colony of rogues submitted and received certificates of their pardon acceptance. Captain Vane and his crew, who as soon as they saw the men of war enter, slipped their cable, set fire to a prize they had in the harbor, and sailed out with their piratical colors flying, firing at one of the men of war as they went off. Boy king go off. They went off.

[A]

And folks, to be clear, Vane is. To your point, Nolan, he's one of the people who. Who looked at this offer. Offer this. This olive branch from somebody that he totally freaking hated. And he played along at first and he said, oh, yeah, yeah, you know me. I'm a. I'm a good boy. I'm an upstanding maritime dude. And they said, all right, very well. The king's pardon for thee. And then just a few months afterwards,

[D]

as he said, he blew up the spot. He lived on site to maybe, you know, unpack that kind of, you know, old timey quote I just read. He basically gave him the finger, set a ship on fire and fled with his pirate flag flying, saying, like, first of all, this is important to note. Vane was a Jacobite, okay? Meaning he was of the political ideology advocating for the restoration of the senior line of the House of Stuart to the British throne. So politically, he was just absolutely opposed to everything that the king stood for.

[A]

Very Shia and Sunni, a million percent.

[D]

It was like, exactly sectarian, you know, that kind of stuff. Stuff to the point where that probably informed his decision to give said finger and set said fire and f. Right on off into the. Into the sunset.

[A]

And his boys loved it.

[D]

Let's be honest, his boys loved it.

[C]

If I Can jump in real quick. I think it's also important to understand on why the king was doing this, because getting. Getting these pirates down was nice, but there was still a need for privateers, at least in their mind. And like Hornigold, like, you know, is one of these guys who would have maintained he was a privateer, not a pirate. Like, they. Like, you know, we'll probably talk about this more later. What's the line between a privateer and a pirate, really? So.

[D]

Yeah, but to your point earlier, too, Max, I mean, and I think a couple of the other fellows made this point as well. The reason they moved towards piracy is because the privateering and. Or the version prior to that just wasn't paying the bills. So basically, the proposition here is come bend the knee and then go back to the old way, where we are now in charge of you again. And political, you know, differences aside, that just didn't seem like a particularly good deal for Mr. Vane and his boys.

[C]

Hornigo got it good because his whole thing was like, oh, I will screw over all my friends I made here in Nassau. He's killing his own.

[A]

He's a real part.

[D]

But they say no honor among thieves. I think that's a misnomer.

[A]

Well, this is. It depends on the type of thievery, but this is the kind of thing with privateers, we have to remember it's a really crappy commission gig because they're saying, you can do what you want as long as you do it to this group. Like, as long as you attack the Spanish or as long as you attack the British, you're fine, and you can kind of take what you want from there. But we're not, like, giving you health insurance. We're not giving you workman's comp or pension. It's a contract gig, and we can end it at any time.

[D]

It's a good example of, like, seizing the means of production kind of stuff, where it's like, I don't need you in your grace proclamation. I don't need the pittance that you're gonna throw me for the work that I can go out and grab and do myself. Granted, there is something to be said and an argument to be made of having regular gigs and not having to, like, always hustle and find the next, you know, shout out to everybody working in freelance to knock over.

[A]

Shout out to our fellow.

[E]

I was gonna say it sounds like a gig economy. Isn't. Isn't that the way to go? Like, we've advanced so far since then, and we've decided the Gig economy is the thing that works the best for everyone.

[A]

This is a rig economy. I'm doing ship jokes.

[E]

Got it. And it works on so many levels. Nice work, sir.

[C]

Don't worry. Ben, I interjected the bad joke drum here manually.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. You are the bad joke drum of my heart, Max.

[D]

So not a lot is known about Charles Vane's early life other than the fact that he was a sailor. He is from Port Royal. Probably wasn't born there.

[E]

Forgive me, is Port Royal, Jamaica.

[D]

I believe it's in. Yeah, I think it is. That's correct. And he is thought to have been born around 1690, probably in England, but he operated in Port Royal and again, likely wasn't born there. He was, as I'd said, a big spokesperson for the Jacobite cause. He served as a privateer under Henry Jennings, and in 1716, this position helped him to knock over a Spanish galleon that had sunk off the coast of Florida in a storm and collect all of the sunken, literal sunken treasure therein. That's when he really started hanging out right here around Nassau and where we now sit. Had a super, super posh lifestyle and became an incredibly successful pirate, capturing merchant vessels from places as far flung as Hispanola to New York. And just shout out to Wayne Savage and his website, the golden age of piracy, getting some really good information from that. So let's go really quickly into the deal with the pardon, and I'm just gonna read really quickly from Wayne's writing because I think he does a great job summing this up. Vane really came into his own as a pirate when the news of the king's pardon reached Nassau. Being one of those to refuse clean clemency, he was disgusted when more than half of the pirates, including his mentor Jennings, accepted it. This is like a bad look as far as he was concerned. This was people like, you know, denying their. Their pirate, pirate ways and bending the knee again to the people they were rebelling against in the first place. Many others who rejected it were doing so on political, politically motivated grounds because they were also so Jacobites. So he then, after doing the thing, you know, that I described in that quote, reached out to a lot of other Jacobites and a lot of people who supported his cause and started to amass more crew members for his operation on February 1718 in, rather, the HMS Phoenix, which was a British ship captained by a guy named Vincent St. Pierce, got to Nassau. And he was kind of welcomed by the local folks. And that is when Pierce, he was kind of like the Jean Valjean and Javert kind of situation. He's the Javert to Vanes. Jean Valjean started to aggressively pursue capture of this escaped pirate who was flouting the very generous clemency offered by the king.

[A]

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[D]

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[F]

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[I]

MGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250mg injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Epglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Epglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have of new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.

[F]

Ask your doctor about Ebgliss and visit ebgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.

[B]

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[A]

Oh, we also have to point out too, I'm loving this story. Vang was even among other pirates, infamous for his cruelty.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Big time.

[A]

Oh yeah, he was a hard case. Yeah, he was not like we're. We just want to make sure you don't think we're painting him in too heroic a light.

[D]

No, I'm not trying to. It's mainly just interesting the dynamics of the whole dynamic, politics and the because

[A]

it's not financial for him, it's personal.

[D]

It is personal. That's. And then sometimes that's what makes the most dangerous characters.

[A]

Yeah because you can rationalize whatever you're doing.

[E]

Do we have one example of that? Just so I understand, like, what we're

[A]

talking about is cruelty.

[E]

Yeah. And I don't want to go too dark or whatever.

[A]

Not just. They wouldn't just beat. They wouldn't just beat other sailors when they were raiding ships. They would capture them and sometimes not even try to ransom them. They would just torture them for long periods of time. And then they would also. So I think this is the right guy. They would go really hard on one dude to make him an example to the other sailors so that they would willingly give up all their values or valuables. And then they would also beat those guys.

[D]

Jeez.

[A]

Okay, so it's like somebody is going to try to mug you with a baseball bat. They say, give me your wallet. And you do. And they say, okay, now I'm going to beat you.

[E]

Yeah, now they've got your stuff.

[D]

Wow. It's real. Real gangster.

[A]

Yeah, gangsters are good. Gangsters of the seas as.

[E]

As a pallet cleanser. Between that and the next pirate we talk about. I want to clarify something for my own mind, and I think you guys might know better than I. The ships that many pirates would use were often smaller. Right.

[D]

Smaller than schooners.

[E]

Okay. So they're. They're. They don't.

[C]

They don't.

[E]

They don't. Just for me, the complete layman, they're not like the huge brigantines exactly. Or a galleon or one of these huge ships that maybe the Spanish Armada would have or another, you know, British.

[A]

There were some chunky boys, but most of them be more sloops and schooners.

[C]

Like, the big exception would be under, like Edward Teaches. Yeah. Queen Anne's Revenge, which was a man of war.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[C]

That's like the huge. That's bigger than a frigate. But yeah, this is obviously Blackbeard, but that was like his prize was capturing that. But yeah, most people had. Had small, agile ships.

[A]

Yeah. Because they could outmaneuver the bigger guys. And they were also easier to steal.

[D]

It's like those gangs of dirt bike and ATV riders that we see around Atlanta. When the cops give chase, there's no way they can ever be caught. They just zip off through a neighborhood or something.

[E]

And the point I wanted to get to with all of that was that's one of the reasons Nassau was so important and such a good place to go because those smaller ships can get into this area much more safely and come in closer to land.

[D]

Well, and dude, the wind, man, think about that. If you're a smaller ship, you can harness that wind. If you're a skilled sailor and literally zip and go.

[H]

Super.

[D]

It's crazy windy around here.

[E]

Oh, the Zephyrs.

[A]

The Zephyr. There's another. There's another point there that has always fascinated me historically, you guys, when we talk about sea serpents, this is a tangent. But when we talk about sea serpents or sea monsters, sea creatures of the deep, you know, you see all those woodcuts of them swallowing up a ship entire. We have to remember is that's not necessarily as implausible as it sounds for really big octopus or a squid to attack a ship like that.

[D]

Davy Jones giant squid.

[A]

Because in reality they are so much smaller than they're portrayed in fiction. If you go on an accurate reproduction of one of those ships, you're going to think, oh, it's not the size of the sea monster, it's the size of the ship.

[D]

The angle.

[E]

Interesting.

[A]

That's what. Yeah, that's what makes a different sorry in the ocean.

[E]

That's great.

[A]

Fascinating facts.

[E]

Because the tactics of a pirating ship is to come along, to find its way alongside, sneak up basically to a larger ship and get part of the crew on board. Right. Because we're not talking.

[A]

Or maybe smaller boats under cover of night.

[E]

Because we're not talking about naval combat.

[D]

Often not in the same way.

[E]

But if you play like Black Flag,

[A]

you got a broadside, people.

[E]

It's. Well, it's broadside, but it's all about upgrading your cannons and all these other things. And I wonder how much of that actually played into the form of pirating

[A]

that truly existed, maybe at the state level role. So you would have something that's essentially like a battlemech, you know, the size of your flagship. Man of war. Right. Those guys have all these tremendous capabilities if you stay still long enough for them to get to you. Right. So if you see them turning and facing the cannon store to you, you might have to wait for a while. Right. To get your ass kicked.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

To jump in here with more Black Flag. There are at the end of Black Flag 4 like boss level ships you have to fight. And if you try to just fight them as traditional, you're going to get your ass kicked every time. Because they're so much more powerful than you can make your own ship. But so, yeah, being nimble and fast in a lot of those fights, nesting, because they're usually against really large ships at Ben's Point, they take forever to turn.

[E]

Yes. But once they fire, you're Dead. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it's kind of like. Like getting in a fight with a sumo wrestler. You know what I mean? Like, just don't let him get to you.

[D]

No, you got to sweep the leg.

[C]

And, and, and to. No previous part about Charles Vane. When they got him all in Nassau, they had him blockaded into Nassau with all those massive ships. So it's like, yeah, those fast little ships can't really do much in that case.

[A]

It's a wall of fire, right? As long as those big ships are able to stay supplied.

[E]

But blockade, I swear I've heard the.

[D]

That term, recent blockade.

[E]

What is that about?

[C]

We're talking about history here, Matthew.

[E]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Hey. Let's get it straight.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

All right. So, Noel Riddle, is this what happens?

[D]

Well, I will get to that in 2.5 seconds. I just want to add there was a detail that I left out. When Vane decided to flee the coop after being offered that pardon, what essentially happened was an envoy came to NASA, you know, bearing the papers that would represent, you know, that pardon, make it official. And not only did Vane, you know, reject it and set a ship on fire, this guy's name was Rogers. He sailed the flaming ship directly at Rogers fleet and created a diversion that he then used to piece on out.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

Assassin's Creed, Black Flag.

[A]

Okay, that was Woods Rogers. And the thing is, I Templar. Yeah, in the game, definitely in the game. In real life, who knows? But Noel, I believe that that crazy move to turn a ship into a fireship, it didn't destroy this other guy's ships, Right? It didn't destroy Roger's fleet, but it gave him the opportunity.

[E]

Yeah, just a distraction.

[D]

Total, very, very expert God tier diversion

[C]

just to get out of there.

[A]

Okay. All right. What happens next?

[D]

Well, a lot of things happen. He pirates around, you know, for.

[A]

For.

[D]

For a while. He imag quite a bit of wealth, of course. And then eventually, as. As is typically the case with folks flouting the law so openly like that, it eventually catches up with them. And it caught up with him in pretty epic fashion in the form of an absolutely cut scene worthy twist where he essentially is running from the authorities. He shipwrecks on an is to. He gets rescued from the island and then like gets aboard another vessel where he takes on a false identity for a while, get in situations, and he sure did. So In February of 1719, he got caught in a hurricane. The Bay Islands got shipwrecked on a literal, uncharted. And basically, I mean, for all intents and purposes of what we Know uninhabited island. The rest of the crew died during the shipwreck. He was only able to survive because of some kindly turtle hunters who didn't necessarily live there, but this is an island they knew about. And he was able to barter for supplies or just, you know, appeal to the kindness of strangers. Eventually, what I was kind of describing a minute ago, a merchant ship arrived and it was piloted by an ex pirate named Holford. He didn't trust Vane, so he did not offer him a lift. In fact, he told him that he was going to leave him there and that if he was still there when he came back in a month's time, he would give him a ride, but not to freedom, to the gallows.

[A]

Okay, so he's like, I'll give you a pass because we both were in the game, but if I see you again, you're gonna face justice.

[D]

Correct. Another English ship eventually arrived in order to get fresh water. That's when Vane attempted to blend in with the crew using a fake name and a bit of a disguise.

[A]

It's me, Nigel. Non pirate.

[D]

Correct. He eventually Colford catches up with that crew, who is an associ of the captain of this new merchant vessel that Vane is now basically stowing away on for all intents and purposes. And he then turns him in, narcs him out. He gets tried and hanged in March of 1721 at Gallows Point, full circle back there in Port Royal. His lifeless corpse was hung in chains on the small island off of Gun Cay near the port, near the coast raft. And this really represented kind of making an example of him. And many people looked at it as a very important visual cue signaling the end of the golden age of piracy.

[A]

And, you know, that's how you play the game, I guess. It's a larger than life tale. I think we've been pretty honest about the darker parts of it, but. But Noel, after. After all this, what do you think, man? You gonna do some piracy with me?

[D]

I'm gonna go to the water park.

[A]

Okay. If that's euphemism for piracy, I think

[D]

I am too may have a pirate themed ride and I will gladly enjoy that.

[A]

And so, folks, we can't thank you again enough for tuning in and joining us in an auditory way.

[D]

Here at Baja Mar, we're doing an intentional two parter. We all brought some really fun stories. That one ended up being a little beefier than we expected. So when we come back with part two, I think we might have two more fun.

[A]

And of course, big, big thanks to Mr. Max Freetrain Williams. Huge thanks to our returning special guest, Matt Frederick. Matt, what's on your mind, man?

[E]

Who's that creeping in our phones? It's Max. And he's got the knowledge.

[A]

Max, Max, Max. Just for you. Here it comes.

[D]

It's Max with the fox.

[A]

Matt, my favorite part of that song. Thank you again. Is the sigh at the end. Just because, like, it seems like a release of something almost sexually.

[D]

He's dreaming. Yes, guys, I think we have nine versions of that song now.

[A]

I love the instrumentals too.

[C]

I never asked for one. They asked Matt to record one line for me and he an hour later.

[D]

And Dylan, man, going above and beyond. Shout out to Dylan, the Tennessee pal Vega who's always rocking the Rudolph rutabagas over on stuff they don't want you to know. If you don't know what I'm talking about, do get ye to a podcast platform of choice and check out our weekly listener mail episodes where you get a new rutabaga jingle, just about every app.

[E]

And if you're behind on the rutabagas, I think the plan very soon is to make an Oops all rutabagas at least special.

[A]

And in the meantime, you can also check out our parent company, Igu. If you love this trippy stuff, we have a Whoops All Illumination Global Unlimited episode. I miss making those, you guys. We should get back to those before IGU puts out a. Puts out a call to end our podcast piracy. What do we think?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Always.

[A]

Always more and always more. Reminds us the rest of the thank yous. Big shout out to Max's biological brother, Alex Williams, our brother in podcast arms, who composed this bangin bop. Big reluctant shout out to a guy who totally would have worked for the British colonial powers, our own East India Company villain, rogue and impressionist at the Renaissance Fair, Jonathan Strickland.

[D]

Kind of do a bit of a pirate thing, AKA the Admiral.

[C]

He's a real Woods Rogers sort.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, good callback. And big thanks to Eve's Jeffcoat. Big thanks to Christopher Haciotis. Who else?

[E]

Noel, can I shout out the kind of haggard looking dove? There's like some really nice looking doves

[D]

and there's one Sanctuary.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

You can't rein those birds in, dude.

[E]

If you go in the sanctuary, they will give you a tiny little stick that has some bird seed on it and the little birds will land on the stick and hang out with you for a while and it's glorious.

[A]

And speaking of glorious, we're going to return to the glory days of piracy in a way that's not often broken reported in Western history books. So tune in later this week. In the meantime, we got to go catch some sun and some turtles.

[D]

We'll see you next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[B]

Owning a home is full of surprises. Some wonderful, some not so much. And when something breaks, it can feel like the whole day unravels. That's why Homeserve exists for as little as 4.99amonth. You'll always have someone to call a trusted professional ready to help, bringing peace of mind to four and a half million homeowners nationwide. For plans starting at just $4.99 a month, go to HomeServe.com that's HomeServe.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply on covered rate.

[G]

Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, HearSay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[J]

I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all seem to be in a rush these days, from work to driving our kids around. But when you're behind the wheel, please do not speed. A few minutes saved by going faster is never worth the risk. So follow the speed limit, enjoy the drive, maybe bring some snacks for the kids kids. And know that along the way you're getting quality time with your family. Paid for by nhtsa.

[K]

This is Sophia Donner from OK Storytime this summer. Find your next obsession on Prime Video and listen. We're not saying you need another obsession, but there could be a lot worse ones. Steamy romance, addictive love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice, so why not watch them a third time off campus? L the Love Hypothesis Hypothesis and more Slow Burns Second Chances chemistry you can feel through the screen and it makes you wish you were actually in that movie. We've got binge worthy series can't miss movies. Perfect for when you're ignoring your own problems or procrastinating as one does. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime.

[F]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.